His head felt like it would split open at any moment. His lungs burned, his muscles ached, and when he blinked awake it was like his eyes hadn't opened, the darkness surrounding him so deep he couldn't see his hand in front of his face. As his vision adjusted he sat up and two things became apparent: one, he was on a bed, which made him assume he was in a bedroom and had been sleeping, thus the lack of light. Two: he wasn't wearing his Kings' uniform, which meant he had detransformed, and in the unfamiliar place he wished he hadn't. That he wasn't wearing the pajamas he had been in when this "day" started too many hours ago, either, was a little more disconcerting. If he had been left to sleep the attack off, why would he be changed out of his sleepwear and into a tight pair of pants? The shirt, too - long sleeved and made of something silky, it could almost be substituted as nightshirt if not that the top few buttons were unbuttoned but the shirttail was tucked in and the sleeves were rolled to his elbows. He ran his hands through his hair gingerly and swung his feet off the edge of the bed. Cold floor biting through his socks, he looked down, his eyesight starting to catch enough starlight from what could have been a window directly across from where he sat on the bed to make out a pair of shoes laid out for him. The ground was nonreflective, and considering their hosts' palace was made entirely of Crystal, the worry that continued to build felt valid, even as he fought to keep it under control. As he slipped into the offered shoes he lightly pressed his hand to the ground and sent out energy, using psylocation to locate his friends or get a look around, only…
Only nothing happened.
He swallowed, got up and knelt down, putting both hands flat on the floor, and tried again, paying close attention to his actions to avoid a second mistake. He could feel the Golden Crystal's energy within him, could direct it to the palms of his hands; he visualized what he wanted and released the shockwave, but this time it was definitive: he sent out the energy and nothing happened. There was no return on lifeforms.
Wherever he was, he was completely alone.
So when a door opened behind him, spreading a column of soft light across the room, he tensed and quickly stood, turning tightly towards it, and, blinking in the sudden light, he saw that light reflecting off his pendant lying on the mattress near his body's indentation on the blankets. He reached out and grabbed it, hands wrapping around the smooth black stone, its chain dangling out of his fist as he straightened, and looked towards the door, waiting for whatever had opened it to show itself. A construct, maybe? Like those that the Archons had employed? They didn't have any souls, so they had never shown up in his searches; these could be the same.
Instead, the door opened wider to admit a silhouette that was vaguely familiar, the long hair and dress all he could make out until she reached inside and waved her hand beside the wall; the baseboards and headboards of the room suddenly snaked alight up in the same soft orange-red light of the outer hall, illuminating the large room's dimensions in its entirety, including some alcoves and shadow art. The walls were black with an occasional diamond-like shine: it was definitely not the Crystal Palace.
"Endymion!" Beryl breathed excitedly as she entered, her person practically radiating exhilaration as she moved into the room and around the massive bed to stand even with him, her newly-orange eyes moving from him to the room-wide window and then back to him, a blush creeping into her cheeks as she looked him up and down and he immediately felt uncomfortable. "That suits you," she complemented with odd intonation, her hands clasping behind her back as she meandered closer to the window, her eyes never straying too long from him. She twirled to face him with her back to the glass, her dress fanning out around her, and cocked her head as she examined him. "I'm glad you're awake; we were worried. There had been a complication when we first relocated you, but we figured things out and managed to get you here; apparently, and thankfully, before it was too late."
He tried to keep his voice neutral, almost interested as he spoke, not quite sure what was going on with her in regards to Metallia. "Complications?" he prompted, and she shook her head, long black hair waving around her as she attempted to mollify him.
"People aren't meant to be in two places at the same time," she said, "Once we realized that the duality was causing the problem, it was easy enough to fix."
Duality? … Mercury's warning to Usagi came to mind and a few things fell into place. They must have originally taken him to where they were holding King Endymion; his arrival had caused problems. But there was, maybe, still a chance. "We?" he asked, though he knew the chances of her answering with the Kings were slim to none.
"Hmm?" she hummed instead, as though she hadn't understood, and approached him; he tensed, but she stepped past him, turned, and fell backward on the bed beside him. She smiled up at him, at first stretching her arms out above her head, but then moving to lace her fingers atop the pale fabric of her outer gown across her stomach. "Isn't it wonderful?" she asked, smiling fondly up at the ceiling. He had to figure out how far gone she was, and where he was, and how close they were to Metallia's next attack. He swallowed - he'd need to be careful. She glanced at him, her smile turning a little harder as she nodded her chin up to the ceiling and, to placate her, he looked up. The surface was reflective but in an almost pebbled texture, like frozen water droplets, but in it, he saw her stretched out across the bed in a hazy image. His stomach dropped uncomfortably and his guard immediately went up. Her reflection moved and he looked back to her, his expression carefully guarded as she smiled over at him, propped up on her elbows. "You don't have to worry," she said, her smile fading, misreading him. "Earth will be fine - everything's going to be okay now."
"How so?" he asked carefully, again hoping she would make an announcement about how she had captured Metallia, or figured out a way to seal it or disperse it - anything but -
"Metallia and I are going to fix everything," she confidently replied, her tone soft and meant to be soothing, though its content was anything but.
"Where is Metallia now?" he asked, glancing back towards the door behind her; if it were separated from her, he could try to explain things, have her fight its control… though she did not seem under any control as it were. If he could share what they had found, Beryl would understand what was going on and could help them figure out how to trap it.
Beryl was less confident in her reply, suspicion creeping into her tone, "Sleeping; going back for me took a lot out of her and she has to rest before the next phase. Why?"
"Beryl," he said, trying to be gentle as he sat down beside her, speaking quietly but directly, "Do you know what she has been doing to Earth? What her next phase is?"
She sat up completely, radiating anger and annoyance and refusing to meet his gaze as she spat, "What she has been doing is freeing it. She was supposed to watch over Earth, but instead, they came and sealed her away - sent her here, took over her Kingdom, corrupted her duties to create their own seat of power -" she clenched her hands into fists in her dress and suddenly stood. He stood back as she stormed around the bed, towards the door, and then he quickly moved to follow her, but she stopped dead in the doorway. "Soon, you'll be free of its influence, Endymion, and you'll see the truth of things. Until then, you'll be safe here."
"Beryl -" he started, but she stepped out and shut the door in his face. He reached for the handle to pull it back open, only to find there was no handle. He pressed against it, pushed it - "Beryl!" He was trapped?! He pounded his fist on the door once, called calmly but firmly, "Open the door, Beryl. We need to talk about what's going on." But there was no response. He stepped back, looked down the stretches of wall and moved towards the alcoves outlined in the low perimeter lights, "Something's happening and you need to know about it!" he called, attempting to appeal to her curiosity, keeping the statement vague enough to perhaps be taken as him trying to help her cause, if she wasn't accepting anything else. There was still no response, and his hands curled into fists at his side, his mouth forming a tight line as he accepted she had left him there. The alcoves proved to be sitting areas and a powder room, completely without access to any other part of the structure, so he paced back to the door, held out his hand, and concentrated. The energy tingled as it built, and when he deemed it should be enough to blow the door apart he released it. A burst of golden light flooded outward, struck the door, and… nothing happened.
Frowning in frustration he moved to touch the space where his shot had landed and found it warm to the touch, but it hadn't weakened the door in the least. He'd need more power - or heightened strength. Standing back, thinking of the pendant in his left palm he calmed his mind, thinking only of his transformation, a process that he had used so often within the last span of time it was second nature - only… nothing happened. He didn't give up; it was a new pendant, maybe he was supposed to attune to it or something - with the Pyrite pendant he used to have to call words of power to activate his transformation in the beginning, maybe it was the same with this focus. 'Pyrite Power' wouldn't work, but -
"Golden Power, Transform!" … nothing happened. It didn't feel right. Maybe - "Earth Crystal Power, Transform!" The phrase felt better, right, even, but as warmth spread from his heart and through his body from there, it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared and he was there, still, in the blue silk shirt and tight black pants. Another phrase? He had Earth's crystal, right? He thrust the pendant enclosed in his fist above his head and tried "Earth Power, Transform!" … "Earth Crystal Power, Transform!" he tried again… What had Usako used?! "Earth Prince Power, Transform!" … "Pyrite Power, Transform!" "Elysion Power, Transform!" ?! The pendant - "Golden Lotus, Transform!" maybe?! But still, nothing. Swallowing past the tightness in his chest, pushing down the panic in favor of more useful things, he opened his hand and looked at the smooth stone etched with the golden flower, trying to unlock its secret by inspection, through his hands and his mind and his heart, knowing that every second that passed was time he didn't have to waste. He had to talk sense into Beryl and stop Metallia before it was too late - he didn't have time to figure out a new transformation process. He had made a promise to Helios, but he would understand. Slipping the chain around his neck, he focused instead on not becoming King of the Cardinal Rose, but rather upon the attire of his past life, and the unfiltered use of the Golden Crystal's power that that form brought. Again his chest grew warm, energy radiating out from his heart - but, just like before, the energy left through his feet. He tried again, chest growing hotter and hotter with each attempt, and each attempt ended the same.
Finally he had to give up. Frustration and fear fighting for control, Mamoru pushed his emotions back, wiped the sweat from his brow and breathed deep and even as he looked at the room again. He had to be productive. The window! It didn't look to be the type that opened, but there was enough furniture in here - he could break it and escape that way, make it on foot and find another entrance, make another attempt at confronting Beryl, transformation or no. He took a step and nearly fell, reaching out at the last moment to catch his balance on legs that were suddenly far weaker than they should be. Something was definitely wrong, but he couldn't stop now. He staggered over to a tall standing lamp, grabbed it in both hands, and tugged harder than he should have had to to get it to move. He strode towards the window with the long end trailing on the ground - he realized bitterly he may not be able to break the window as he was, even if he used the best method; but even so he continued: if he wasn't strong enough now, he could rest for a bit and try again. With a sense of where he was he could even make a better plan -
But as he raised the lamp in both hands, the sharper end directed towards the glass, his faint reflection mirroring his every move, he stopped dead in his tracks. He couldn't see the ground. He'd need some way to get down - but how far? Would sheets handle it, or would he need his transformation to survive the fall? Lowering his makeshift polearm, he moved closer to the window, looking for where the starry horizon ended. ...but it never did. The closer he walked the farther it went until his cheek was practically pressed to the glass and his breath caught in his chest, vertigo making him feel weightless.
There was no ground.
There was no sky - no clouds, no moon, no atmosphere.
He was in space.
He stepped back on exhausted legs and dropped the lamp. If he had… but he hadn't. He hadn't been sucked out into space, he was still here, still alive, and still able to help. Maybe. At least this explained why his psychometry wasn't working: he needed a connection to Earth. He kept stepping backwards, the reflection imposed upon the thousands of stars growing smaller and smaller until his legs bumped into the edge of the bed and he sat back onto it, eyes open wide and staring out at the dark. Could he not transform in space? Was that the problem? And, if that were true, was there anything he could do? He couldn't even escape the room. Was he just one more thing his friends needed to worry about? The attacks on the city, the enemies running those attacks being human, their future selves in stasis, the Queen's fatigue, Metallia's next assault, Beryl's involvement, King Endymion's disappearance, and now him. He'd be a burden, one thing too many - but no.
He blinked, tearing his eyes away from the darkness between the stars. There was something he could still do. He could get through to Beryl - if Metallia had chosen her it was their best chance. He could take care of things on this end - transformation or no, he could still talk Beryl out of it, talk her back to their side. He'd figure this part out, let his friends handle the chaos on Earth as he attempted to diffuse the situation entirely here. He pressed against the soft mattress to stand, only to fall back down. The transformation attempts must have taken a lot out of him, even if nothing had come of it. He couldn't leave the room, Beryl was not coming back for now; she'd said Metallia was resting, that she was exhausted after breaking through the space-time dimension, so he had some time. He'd rest up.
Laying out on the bed, he rolled onto one side, away from the window, and stamped back the unpleasant emotions that he wouldn't let surface. Closing his eyes, he thought it would be hard to fall asleep - he figured he'd just lay still and rest and let his body recover - but sleep took him almost immediately.
He was awakened by a hand on his chest and lips pressed against his forehead. Eyes shooting open, he tensed as long auburn hair cleared from his field of vision enough to reveal Beryl. She sat on the bed beside him and neatly tucked her hair behind her ear - hair that was much lighter than her original black hair - while keeping her other hand pressed to his chest. He glanced down at it and she shyly removed it. He sat up - or tried to, but his head dizzied with the effort and he settled for propping himself up on his elbows. It shouldn't have been that hard to move.
She frowned at him with worry. "I thought you might be like this," she said quietly. She reached beside him and he jerked his head to follow the move - she slowed, her hands hesitating for a moment on a small washcloth in a bowl sitting on the table beside the bed. She looked hurt by the accusatory nature of his action, but he said nothing. As he straightened his neck he glanced to the door and found it closed. Maybe not locked - Beryl was in here - but then, unable to transform, he didn't need to escape. He needed to stay with her, get her back on their side. Water dripped from the cloth as she wrung it out and he met her gaze, tried to hide his aversion to her changed orange eyes, or the new red tint in her hair. She held the cloth out, mutely explaining her intent to wipe his forehead, and he leaned more heavily on his left elbow to hold out his right hand for the cloth, instead; even in other times, they had never been that close. There was a wistfulness in her expression he didn't want to recognize when she handed the cloth over.
He wiped his face. "What's going on?"
She took the cloth back from him as she began to explain. "You're connected," she said, the words hanging in the air as she deposited it in the basin beside the bed. He didn't know what she meant - "you and Metallia. You tried to transform, didn't you?" she asked, but continued without need of confirmation, "The energy you expended went straight to her. You replenished her, whether you meant to or not, because of that connection -"
He took her hand, stopping her immediately. He had to - she couldn't take that narrative so easily. He didn't feel comfortable initiating such contact with her - not with their past, not with the connections she may make, would make, considering her behavior up until that point, and especially not knowing Usako was out there probably worried about him - but he had to keep her there long enough to make her listen to him and he knew physical contact would make her hesitate to leave. He wished he could make it clear it was platonic. "But it's not because of a connection, Beryl," he said, and her mouth opened to refute him but closed again with a soft squeeze to her cold hand. "She's been strengthening from the collected energy from the people of Crystal Tokyo for a long time now, just like the Senshi had been collecting energy for Diana and Queen Serenity. If she got stronger when I tried to transform, it was through taking my energy, same as anyone else's. If we were connected, I would feel it, wouldn't I?" He asked to engage her, to make her think, to start questioning whatever Metallia had been feeding her -
"You can't feel your shadow," she replied instead, her other hand moving to clasp the back of his hand, enveloping him as she looked at him imploringly. She leaned in closer. "That's what she is, Endymion - a shadow of her former self, an embodiment of the Sun, responsible for life on Earth. Responsible for your life, your power. She's part of the reason the Golden Crystal is so strong - part of it was her soul gem, sent to Earth to protect the life that flourished there. It fused with Earth's own crystal and became what it is today - it became you, Endymion." She held his hand tighter when his arm went limp, his heart immediately rejecting what she said even as his mind puzzled it through. Holding it closer to her chest she pressed on, "She's only trying to set things right again. She's not going to take it back, I promise - she promised. She just wants to set us free from the people who imprisoned her - the reason why she had to send her soul gem to empower Earth's to begin with. Once that's through she'll leave us alone, content to watch over us from her place of power on the Sun - you'll be able to do whatever you intend to do with Earth, whether that be to rule it as its King or live peacefully as just another person. Our friends, too - she won't hurt anyone -"
"But she has hurt people," he said, blinking away from her pleading eyes, his voice thready. He turned his head and coughed to strengthen it. "She's hurt a lot of people, Beryl, she and the beings who serve her. A city is in ruins, its population greatly reduced - our friends in this time are comatose, Beryl, and it's all her doing -"
Her grip on his hand tightened to almost painful. "They'll get better," she stated harshly. "They wouldn't hear her out and she didn't want to hurt them so she made sure they couldn't stand in her way, that's all. When this is over she'll make everything just like it was -"
"I've seen what she did," he interrupted, pulling his hand from her grasp in an attempt to shock her into listening, "It's all on tape. There was no 'hearing her out' - she made a demand and immediately attacked; buildings were destroyed and innocent people died. Whatever Metallia's been telling you, she's either leaving out a great deal or changing things in her favor. Whatever her origins, she's attacking Earth, not saving it!"
Her eyes narrowed and she pushed up off the bed; he used his arm to sit up a little taller. He had gone too far, but he couldn't take it back - she had to know, had to have that in the back of her head, whether she wanted to consider it now or later, so long as it was before it was too late. He just had to know what to say to keep her from leaving, but already she was around the end of the bed and making for the door - "She's not attacking Earth!" she spat, making a motion with her hand that the door mimicked, swinging open to admit her. She glared at him over her shoulder, "She's freeing it from the influence of the Moon."
The door slammed shut behind her, undoubtedly locked to him. Influence of the Moon? … he succumbed to his exhaustion, falling back on the mattress and stretching out his tired arms beside him as his mind muddled through what was said. Metallia being from the sun had a ring of truth to it - Helios had said the energy they analyzed from her latest attack was not unlike a solar storm - but the rest of it…? The Golden Crystal being made in part by the Sun? That Metallia sent the Sun's soul gem to meld with Earth's when Metallia was being imprisoned - there's no one that can corroborate her story. His connection is firmly with the Earth, not the Sun. … not that he'd ever tried that alternative… and not that that "donation" would concretely result in anything like that, anyway. They didn't know enough about how soul gems worked to either confirm or deny that claim.
And if what she said were true?
… if it were true, if Metallia was trying to continue to protect life on Earth, she wouldn't attack its people. Even if it were to 'free it from the influence of the Moon' - there were no influences of the Moon on Earth. The Moon Kingdom, if that's what she meant, was destroyed; she saw to the last of that in decommissioning Luna and Artemis's programming. All that was left was Princess Serenity in Usagi - or, "Neo Queen Serenity" in this time - and her "influence" was anything but dangerous to Earth. If the Moon Kingdom did seal Metallia away, this was revenge, not an altruistic fight for Earth's freedom.
He wanted to get up, to pace, to try to think his way around this, to come up with something that could outsmart this creature and catch it in a lie so obvious that Beryl could not dismiss it, but even as he tried to sit up his limbs felt heavier and heavier, his thoughts more and more clouded. Whether or not Metallia was the past owner of one of the Golden Crystal's predecessors, she was taking energy from him like she owned it, and if he tried to expend any energy to stop her she'd just take that, too, like she did with his attempt at transforming.
He was trapped and defenseless and there was no way out. He was letting everyone down, and his failure would cost him everything, and yet here he was, barely able to fight off sleep, let alone save the world.
There had to be a way. He had to stay awake, to think…
"I'm sorry," she said warily, waking him as she gently placed a washcloth over his forehead. "I knew that would upset you, but it's so frustrating to see you like this and know what I know and not be able to do anything about how it makes you feel."
His eyelids were so heavy… He couldn't get up. He could barely twitch his hand, let alone anything else. He couldn't protest, even if he wanted to. All he could do is look up at her and try to bolster whatever strength he had left to speak, to try to convince her she was wrong, if he could muster the strength to do that, or stay awake long enough to try. Her hair was a deeper shade of red.
"They've been manipulating you the entire time," she said remorsefully, taking his hand in hers as she sat back. She gently brushed his hair away from his face, his reaction to her proximity enough to keep him awake as she continued to speak, "you never stood a chance against them. As the Moon pulls the Earth, their Princess pulls you: they created a bond between you and she that sealed your fate before you even met her - you never had the chance to fall for anyone else." Her fingers lingered on his cheek, her eyes fell to his lips before again meeting his gaze, their orange depths almost seeming to glow in the half-light of the room. He clenched his jaw. "You may hate the idea now, but soon you'll see. Here, you're separated from her influence. You'll forget about her and it will all become so much clearer to you. When she's gone and all this is over you'll be able to pick up the pieces - I know you will." She released his hand to tuck her hair behind her ear, her words soft and intimate, "And I'll be by your side…" she leaned down and he turned his head aside, but her hands moved to either cheek and held him still as she kissed his lips, his body paralyzed beneath her touch.
When she straightened he glared up at her, repulsion rising in his chest, betrayed, used, angry - and afraid for what she said. "Don't touch her," he warned, throwing all the energy he could into sitting up. His voice was raspy and his predicament was anything but threatening, but that didn't stop him, "If you hurt so much as a hair -" he had to stop to breathe, "on her head, Beryl -"
But she didn't wait for him to finish, only looked down on him with pity as she gently picked up the washcloth that had fallen from his forehead and deposited it in a basin and said "I'll be back to visit you again soon, okay?" She stood so her silhouette blocked out some of the stars in the window behind her. She left, the sound of the door opening and closing announcing her exit.
He fought burning muscles to bring his hand up to his face to scrub her kiss from his lips. She was wrong. It wasn't some trick - he loved Usagi, and it wasn't because the Moon Kingdom bewitched him. He loved her smile and her laugh and her explosive reactions to minor annoyances. He loved her stubbornness, and how much she enjoyed food and manga and attention. He loved how much she cared, and how affectionate she was, how easily she got along with people. He even liked how selfish she was, though he hadn't gotten to see that side of her in so long, now. He wanted to make her happy and keep her safe. He loved her, and admired her, and liked who he was when he was around her. He liked Usagi for Usagi, not because some supernatural force had arranged for that attraction to be there. And he had just been kissed by someone else. He scrubbed harder, though the renewed force he put into it barely did anything. He felt lightheaded, his head pounding in time with his heartbeat, and he lay back down to ease it.
Even besides that, though, what Beryl said didn't make sense. If the Moon had bewitched him, if it had somehow forced him to fall in love with Serenity, why would the Queen have gone to war with Earth? Diana's warmongering aside, even if the Queen thought the Earth was a danger to them, she could have just relied on the "connection" she created to forge an alliance through marriage he would have been only too willing to agree to. Metallia was lying and Beryl was believing it because it was what she wanted to hear. And now, no matter what he said, she'd brush him off under the pretense that he was being controlled, while she was the one under something's control.
The pounding of his head made it hard to think, but he couldn't go to sleep again. He had to come up with something - some way to stop this.
Metallia… what if she were telling the truth about her past? Could there be anything to turn her away from revenge, or would they be forced to destroy her to save Neo-Queen Serenity? ...What would happen to the people who followed her - would they return to normal? What about the King? Or the Heavenly Kings and Senshi of the future? … And, more immediately, was there some way he could isolate himself from her energy gathering? He couldn't afford to sleep anymore. If Beryl was beyond him, he had to get back somehow and share what he knew...
Beryl… was she truly beyond him? Was there really nothing he could say or do to convince her to reject Metallia and come back with him? ...already she acted as though anything he said fit with what Metallia told her he'd say. What would happen to her? ...She saved his life in Elysion - if it hadn't been for her, the senshi's soul gems wouldn't've been returned to Usagi and their spirits wouldn't've been able to protect them as they had against the Silver Crystal's power. ...Not to mention her loyalty prior to that, in this life and the last. ...No matter the difficulties now, he couldn't just give up on her and be alright with the possibility of having to… to…
...to what?
… he couldn't let himself fall asleep.
Usako. He wanted her to know he was alright. He wanted to know that she was alright. He wanted to be there to make sure she was alright.
He was just… so. tired.
"-dymion?!" he came back to something soft pressing quickly against his face, but before he could open his eyes he was already falling - "Endymi-"
Pain, sharp and hot, flared across his cheek and his eyes shot open, unseeing at first but the dark room started coming into focus before his eyelids closed heavily again, his hearing fading alongside his sight - "Metallia! Metallia, you have to stop! You're taking too-"