Chapter 12

EPOV

The last thing I expected to find on this trip to New York was Bella Swan.

But I had found her, and the damage was done. She was the epitome of all the things I'd locked away, all the emotions I'd pushed down. She was every ounce of passion that I'd ever pulled from my soul.

I didn't know how I would let her go, how I could get in that car in a few days and never look back. I could feel it coming from her as well, could see it in her eyes. I'd grown accustomed to reading her body language in the last four weeks and I knew she loved me, just as I loved her, regardless if I wanted to or not.

I couldn't give up everything I'd worked for, though, not for what may be a passing fancy for her. Even if it seemed that she felt something toward me, Bella had been honest from the beginning; she felt something for every man she was with.

If I stayed, it was likely she'd become bored with me in a few weeks. She wouldn't want anything to do with me any longer, and I'd have my heart broken once again. So, no, she wasn't worth me giving up everything, but she was worth keeping on the side.

My heart could handle knowing I'd have my freedom and she'd have hers, but that she'd drop everything to be with me with one phone call. It seemed to be the only way to protect myself.

—

Ever since we'd started sleeping together, I'd almost completely moved out of my hotel room and into her house. However, I had to check in periodically to see if Vicky left any messages for me at the desk. It wasn't as if she expected me not to fool around while I was gone, but I highly doubted she'd be happy to hear I'd taken to one woman.

She wouldn't want anything to put a damper on the pretenses of our relationship. A random fuck here or there was expected between us, but something steady on the side just wouldn't do, which was why she could never know about Bella. Victoria was a spiteful bitch when she wanted to be, and I couldn't even imagine what she'd try to do if she found out about Bella and my feelings for her.

—

I lay in bed, lazy and sated from our lovemaking. "I thought we'd go out to Long Island today." I felt her stiffen in my arms as the words left my mouth, her calm demeanor suddenly gone.

"What about Manhattan, instead? There are all those restaurants and fancy things you love so much in the city."

"I just thought we could go out to the Hamptons, spend some time at the beach; relax together a bit."

She shifted in my arms again. "There are too many people who know me out there, Edward. Friends of my father's and my grandparents', it's just... I don't know. Why do we even need to go somewhere?"

"We only have a few days left, and I thought maybe we could spend some of it outside the bedroom."

"Edward Masen, are you going soft? Are you asking me on a date?" She giggled.

I rolled my eyes. "I've asked you on plenty of dates, sweetheart, but you always turn me down and we just end up high or in bed. Why is that?"

"I'm not doing this, Edward."

"Not doing what?"

She sighed heavily as she maneuvered to sit up. "If I go on a date with you, if we go out on the town together, to the beach, whatever, this is." She gestured between us. "It becomes real. You'll be gone by the end of the week, Edward, and this little—what would you call it? A fling? It'll be over and you'll be back in New Jersey with your fiancée, raking in the cash."

"What if it didn't have to be over?" This wasn't exactly how I'd planned on broaching the subject, but it seemed as if she'd left me the perfect opening.

Her eyes narrowed at me. "I don't understand. What exactly are you saying?"

"Just what I said, what if this didn't have to end? I can make the trip to New York pretty frequently since we have business here—"

She scoffed, cutting me off. "Why did I expect anything different from you?" She pulled away from me, slipping from the bed. "Let me get this straight; are you asking me to be your mistress? The woman you throw a bone to every so often?" She pulled on her robe as she paced the floor. "What? Am I supposed to sit here and wait for you? To be this sad existence of a woman? Am I supposed to just watch life pass me by, while you have children with a woman you despise? Or, wait!" she shouted. "Will you get me pregnant, too? And I can tell your little bastards that daddy loves them just enough to spend Christmas with them every other year? Fuck you, Edward Masen. Fuck you for ever setting foot in my house. Get out!"

"Bella—"

"I said get out!" she yelled once again, before she picked up my clothes and hurled them at me. I did as she asked, leaving and never looking back.

—

"Edward, my boy!" Carlisle greeted me. I'd been back in New Jersey for about a week now, and this was the first available moment that either of us had. "I heard great things from Eleazar, like how you got that team down there up and running."

"Yes, sir. It was easy, since they all had potential."

"Good, good. I'm glad to hear it. And how did you find New York? Did you get any sight seeing in? Eleazar said he hardly saw you aside from work. He expected to have to entertain you."

"No, sir. I, uh, made my own entertainment."

Carlisle threw his head back in laughter. "Ah, yes. Spoken like a true man about to be married. Those broads in New York sure can be feisty, can't they?"

He didn't know the half of it. Hell, I didn't know the half of it, but what I did know was that every night I thought of Bella, and every morning I woke to those same thoughts.

I thought of her every time Victoria would do what she considered giggling, and I'd think of how different they were. Bella's laugh was sweet and honest, whereas Victoria's was high pitched and forced. I hated it. I hated her. I hated my father's plan for me; I hated everything that wasn't Bella.

"I'm sorry, I-I can't do this right now, Carlisle," I said before walking out of his office.

I couldn't do any of this anymore.

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