Chapter 17

BPOV

"Sweetheart, look at me, please." He pulled back from me, tipping my chin up so he could look in my eyes. "If I need to apologize every day until the day I die for how I left you, I will. It'll always be my biggest regret."

My brain and my heart were at war as I listened to him speak. My heart believed his letter and the words he was speaking because he was right, he had never been anything but upfront and honest with me. He'd never hidden his fiancée or his intentions from me, so why start now?

My brain, however, kept telling me he'd been heartless at times; he'd used me, he'd wanted to keep me a secret from the world. Though, my heart would interrupt and counter with the fact that I'd done the same to him. I'd used him to fill a void; to feel wanted and needed.

"I can't give you the world, Bella. I can't afford the luxuries I once could, and I can't buy you the biggest diamonds possible, but sweetheart, whatever I have is yours. My heart is yours."

It was my turn to shock him as I stood on my tiptoes, pressing my mouth roughly against his. He slipped his hands down, cupping my ass and hoisting me up so I was level with him. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he kissed me back, slipping his tongue past my lips. I moaned at the taste of him, something I'd tried to not let myself think of in the past few weeks.

Both of us were gasping for air as we broke apart. "I love you, Edward."

His smile at the sound of my words was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. Now, put me down."

"I quite like where I have you." He smirked as he squeezed my ass.

"Seriously, put me down. I have something else I need to say." This time he listened, letting me put my feet on the ground. "I love you, but you need to understand something, Edward."

"What is it?" His face was full of concern.

"You say you love me, but, Edward, I'm never going to really change. I'm never going to be that girl who irons her husband's suits—"

"That's what dry cleaners are for," he answered, and I sighed before continuing.

"Fine, but I want to finish my degree, as well. I might want to have a career. I still can't promise I'll ever make you breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I have no plans to stop smoking pot. I won't be a good housewife. It's just not me, Edward."

"Let me put your mind at ease, Bella. You should finish your degree, it would be a waste of time if you stopped now. We can talk about the career if it's truly what you want. I know how to make toast and eggs, and if you don't make dinner, we'll go out. Oh, and I have no plans to stop smoking pot, either." He grinned at me, but it was short-lived. "None of those things matter to me as much as having you in my life. There's one thing you didn't mention though, Bella."

"What's that?"

He cupped my face between his hands, looking down at me. "You didn't mention babies. Do you want children, Bella?"

I hesitated for a moment before answering and watched him frown. It told me everything I needed to know. "I've thought about it. I was never truly sure where life was leading me. I wasn't sure I'd ever find a husband, or if I even wanted to. I mean, you've met my father. But, I always knew that if I did get married... Yes, I want children, but Edward... we're not married, we're not even close to being married, so it's a moot point."

"Then let's change that. Marry me, Bella."

"You can't be serious, Edward," I shrieked.

He dropped down on one knee in front of me, taking my hand in his. "Isabella Swan, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"Edward, how high are you? Oh, my God, how high am I? Someone must have slipped me something, because yes, I'll marry you. Oh, God, what am I saying?" I laughed.

Some people might have considered me insane at that moment, but I loved him beyond reason. Maybe I should have made him work harder for my affection, but I knew life could be short. Why waste it when he was who I wanted?

He stood up, his eyes bright as he laughed, picking me up and spinning me around before falling to the ground and pulling me on top of him. I let my gaze roam his face, taking in his features. He looked so young, younger than I remembered him ever appearing. I leaned down, pressing a trail of kisses from his jaw down to his neck, causing him to let out a deep groan.

"I need you, Bella." He gripped my waist, holding me in place as he ground up against me. Even though we were far from the crowds and basically alone, there were still a few people milling around nearby.

I gasped, hiding my face in the crook of his neck. "Edward," I murmured. "Not with all these people around."

"I've got an idea. Do you trust me?" he whispered in my ear, causing me to shiver.

"Mm, in theory, yes."

There was a mischievous glint in his eyes, one I'd never seen before. He shifted me off him, standing and offering me his hand. "Let's go, then."

He looked over his shoulder as he pulled on the door handle of a station wagon, opening it. "Get in." He grinned.

"What! No! I know this isn't your car, Edward. This isn't like you."

He brushed my hair over one shoulder, nipping at my earlobe, his voice husky as he spoke softly into my ear. "Do you know how hard I am for you, sweetheart? I want to be buried deep inside you, watching you moan and ride my cock. Do you want that, too, Bella? Do you want me inside that sweet little pussy?"

I squeezed my thighs together, trying to ease the ache he was causing between them. "Yes," I breathed out.

"Then get in the car, Bella."

"If we get arrested, it's your fault," I muttered as I climbed into the back seat of some random person's car.

It was obvious he made me stupid.

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