Unshown Moments for The Badge (2)

This is for Phoenix and Rosebud Lady. I also have a couple more for this episode in the works. Also I received the requests for GS's only two Christmas episodes and I am working on those as well. Hopefully, I can get it all done before Christmas next year.

Matt stood quietly at Kitty's side as she unlocked the doors of the Long Branch, letting them in. His heart was still fairly pounding at the realization that she was home, that she'd come back to him. For a while there, especially this evening, he was just about certain she wouldn't. He was almost sure he'd blown the chance to get her back into his life.

"Whiskey?" Kitty asked she moved effortlessly through the dark saloon and to the bar.

"Hm? Oh… oh, yeah, whiskey would be great." Matt nodded, realizing she'd caught him watching her but not listening to her.

"Relax, Cowboy." Kitty grinned as she lit a lamp and reached for glasses and a bottle of her special whiskey. "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

Matt dropped his head while she poured the whiskey. "You know I missed you."

Kitty looked up from pouring the whiskey and met Matt's eyes. "Did you really?"

"I did. Matt nodded. "I know what happened upset you, Kitty. I understand why you left and I wouldn't have blamed you if you hadn't come back." He added.

"Is that all?" She asked with an arched brow. "I mean is that all you would've done? Just not blame me?"

Matt looked up her and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, Kitty." He answered honestly. "I guess I would've eventually come back to Ballard and checked in with you, but… well… I'm not sure what else I could do. You already knew how I felt about you being down there."

"Did I?" She asked, watching him closely. "Seems to me, when I went up to Doc's office to see you, you didn't really want to talk about it. I seem to remember you saying something about 'not needing explanations' or something like that."

Matt let out a breath and nodded glumly. "I did. I just… well…" He took in the same air he'd let out, stopped and prepared to start again. "You know I'm not good with expressing my feelings with words, Kitty. It wasn't that I wanted you to go or that I didn't care, it was just… I was hurt that you were going. I just… I didn't know how to tell you that."

"I was hurt too, Matt." Kitty pointed out. "And not just by how indifferent you seemed. In some ways, it's harder on me when you get shot than it is for you. You eventually heal, but I'm left with the heartache that next time you might not survive and I will have watched you die."

When Matt remained silent, Kitty moved closer to him. "I understood what you were telling me in Ballard, Matt. I confess, I wasn't looking at it like that when I left here. But I do know that you're proud of your job. You're proud of the good you've done, and of the stand you've taken against the evils of this world. I'm proud of those things and of you too. And I don't want you thinking that my leaving had anything to do with not being proud of you. It had to do with being scared that, one day, that pride would be all I had left. I just wasn't sure I was strong enough to handle it if it was."

"I know that now, Kitty." Matt locked gazes with her to ensure that she understood just how serious he was. "You're leaving really woke me up, you know. It made me realize that this badge and all the good I could possible do with it, mean nothing if you're not with me. Without you, it's just a piece of tin."

"It's always been just a piece of tin, Matt." Kitty sighed. "It's not the badge that I've lived for all these years; it's the man behind it. You have always been the thing that made that tin as good as gold and made me want to stay here. I didn't leave because I lost faith in you or the work you do. I left because I lost faith in my ability to see you hurt doing it."

"I see that now, Kitty." Matt sighed as he sipped his whiskey. "So what do we do now?"

Kitty put her glass down and moved as close to him as she could get. "We restart things. We don't repeat them; we restart them but this time with a clear understanding between us of everything. Deal?"

Matt pulled her completely into his arms and kissed her gently at first and then deepened it. "Deal." He smiled happily when they finally pulled apart.

END