America was not week willed. No, when he didn't want to do something, or wanted to avoid something, the other nations had a hell of a time getting him to cooperate with them. The opposite was true as well. When he wanted something, he would move mountains to get it. He didn't flinch at threats, and he didn't take bribes. He had an iron resolve. But there were a few things that would make his resolve turn into jelly.

The first thing was food. America wasn't ashamed to admit it. He had a sweet tooth. Anything chocolaty, salty, or just plain tasty was enough for him to give in. It had been one of his most glaring weaknesses, and America had a bit of a hard time with it when other nations tried to get him on their sides of arguments. Luckily, he had started to use this against his would be bribers by taking the food, and agreeing with no one.

The second thing was when a person was sad. America hated to see people who were upset or crying. He would stop whatever he was doing and bother whoever was sad until they cheered up, or annoyed them enough so that their minds were off their problems. Sometimes people tried to use this to get him on their sides, but he wasn't stupid. He could tell the difference between someone who was faking and someone who was really sad.

Finally, and this was a big one, he had a weakness with anything to do with children. America loved kids. They were always so bouncy, full of laughter, honest, and just so cute that America had a hard time saying no to them. (Sealand had used this against him many times to get America to hang out with him.)

So, when his doorbell rang one morning, his heart melted when he saw a small girl dressed up in a girl scout uniform smiling up at him. She then presented him with a form and asked him if he wanted any girl scout cookies. America had tried to say no, but when she looked like she was about to cry, America did the only sensible thing he could to cheer her up, and bought ten of everything. Perfectly reasonable.

Unfortunately for him, he had just put a big old bullseye on himself after that, because the girl scouts came back every year, because they knew he was weak to their charms. And every year, he proved them right. It wasn't his fault! He was the hero, and heroes don't make little girl selling cookies for good causes cry. This also had another unfortunate side effect. Once the nations of the world had caught on that he was buying them in bulk, he had been hounded for his stash of cookies.

And that had brought him to today's meeting, being cornered by multiple nations demanding cookies from him.

"We know you have some!" Prussia said, looking eagerly at America. "Do you have the Thin Mints?"

"Al, do you have any of the Short bread one's?" Canada asked, looking hopefully at his brother.

"Leave me alone!" America said, looking rather annoyed. "If you want girl scout cookies so bad, buy them yourself!" Glaring at his brother, he added, "And you shouldn't have any trouble getting them. Just hop over the border."

"But we don't have girl scouts!" England said. "And we can't go to your nation to get them."

"Stop being selfish!" China said, giving America a glare. "Share the goods!"

"No, I bought them." America argued, holding his briefcase close to him. "Get your own."

"You are not very nice, America." Russia said with a smirk. "I thought you had a motto back home. Sharing is caring?"

"Yeah!" Denmark huffed. "Surrender the cookies!"

"No, go away." America huffed, stomping over to his seat. As he sat down, he spotted the nations glaring at him. They put their heads together, and started whispering, glancing at him every once in a while. Ignoring them, he opened his briefcase to get his notes. Suddenly, a hand appeared out of nowhere and tried to snatch the cookies out of his case, but he slammed the case down on the intruder's hand, making them cry out in pain. As the hand pulled away, he snapped the case close again with a satisfied smirk.

"France, you're going to have to do better than that." America said in amusement, as the Frenchman rubbed his wrist.

"I guess so." France admitted with a grin. America spotted movement behind him, and jumped out of the way just in time to dodge Japan leaping at him. Japan smacked into the table, and America just sighed.

"You guys just don't give up, do you?" He asked.

"I got you!" Hungary said, grabbing America around his legs, making him wobble for a moment. Taking advantage of his momentary lack of focus, the others charged in to grab his case. America fell backwards on Hungary, catching her off guard and breaking free of her grip rolled out of the way just in time for Norway and Iceland to run into each other with a painful thud.

"Get him!" Romano yelled, trying to grab America's arm, but America easily side stepped the smaller nation, and ducked as Russia tried to put him in a headlock.

China let out a battle cry, and tried to jump on him from above, but America grabbed the nation by the front of his shirt and threw him into Australia, who had tried to grab America from behind. Looking around, he saw that he was being surrounded. Sighing, he ran to the exit, only to see that Prussia and Sweden were blocking the door. Canada was also running towards him. Grimacing, he shook his head.

"Et tu, Mattie?" He asked.

"Cookies over family." Canada answered with a smirk.

"You're breaking my heart." America quipped, and with all the strength he could muster, sidestepped his brothers outstretched arms at the last second, and raced towards the door. Using his briefcase as a battering ram, he ran into Prussia, causing the man to be pushed out of the way. Sweden tried to grab his coat, but America slipped it off, and ran down the hallway clutching his briefcase to his chest.

"America, you will yield!" England shouted, causing America to turn around. To his annoyance, England was hot on his tail, carrying what looked like a…

"Is that a sword?" America asked in disbelief. Sure enough, England had a sword in his hand, and had a smirk on his face.

"Who do you think you're dealing with?" England gloated. "I wasn't a former pirate for nothing you know. This is child's play."

"Dude, you need to get a new hobby!" America yelped, dodging the sword. "And stop swinging that thing around! Someone's going to get hurt!"

"Then surrender the goods!" England yelled.

"Like hell I will! Do you know how freaking expensive these were?" America shouted, spotting a stair case. In a desperate attempt to get away from the sword wielding ex-pirate, he jumped over the railings, and onto the landing below. To his frustration, he noticed that another nation was running up the stairs to trap him. It was Spain, and to his horror, he was brandishing a battle ax! God damn, he knew girl scout cookies were good, but come on!

"I have you now!" Spain shouted gleefully, swinging the ax down at America. Out of sheer panic, America held out his briefcase like a shield. The ax crashed through the front of the brief case, but didn't go all the way through, much to America's relief.

"Dude, don't you think you're going too far for a few cookies?" America tried, but the former pirate just scoffed.

"You are withholding something that we all want. That makes it valuable." Spain said with a glint in his eyes. "This is your fault for not sharing."

"Jeez, blame the American. That's fair." America huffed, yanking his briefcase off of Spain's ax. He swung the case like a baseball bat, hit Spain in the arm, causing Spain to fumble with his ax. Seeing his chance, he dashed past Spain, and down to the floor below. Running as fast as he could, he ran into an unused room and slammed the door behind him. He sighed in relief, only to hear an amused chuckle. Looking up, he was alarmed to see Austria looking back at him. He was sitting on a sofa, drinking a cup of tea.

"So, how goes the chase?" Austria asked.

"Depends." America answered coolly. "Are you trying to steal my stuff?"

"Oh, no." Austria chuckled. "No, I don't do running. Plus, I'm not exactly interested in girl scout cookies."

"Thank god." America sighed.

"But that doesn't mean I can't work as a distraction." Austria said with a smile.

"Wait, what?" America said with a blink. Suddenly, Switzerland came out from behind Austria, pointing his gun at America, who felt his face fall.

"Hand them over, America." Switzerland said firmly.

"I didn't peg you for a girl scout lover." America said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I'm not." Switzerland said with a shrug. "Actually, it's Liechtenstein that likes them."

"Too cheap to buy them?" America asked.

"I wouldn't advice provoking the guy with the gun." Switzerland warned.

"Wouldn't be the first time I did so." America said with a smirk.

"I'll count to three." Switzerland said.

"I'm shaking in my boots." America commented lightly.

"One…"

"That's a nice window." America noted, nodding towards the window next to him.

"Two…"

"It would be a real shame if I were too, oh I don't know…" America said, a grin forming on his face.

"Three!" Switzerland finished. But before he could pull the trigger, America smashed the window with his case, and jumped out of it shouting, "JUMP OUT OF IT!"

"That guy is insane!" Switzerland said, running over to the window. "We're on the third floor!"

"Eh, there's a pool below, I'm sure he's fine." Austria said with a shrug.

America fell into the pool with a loud splash, and somehow didn't break all of his bones in the process, which was something he was thankful for. However, he did inhale a mouthful of water, making him choke. Swimming to the surface, he coughed up the water out of his lungs.

Cursing, America swam to the edge of the pool, and pulled himself out. Somehow, he had held on to his briefcase, but he was starting to wonder if he shouldn't just leave it behind. Thanks to that little stunt, all of the papers that were in the case were soaked, and probably ruined. No cookie on the planet was worth this amount of effort. (He knew they had survived, only due to their packaging.)

Sighing, he stood up, and heard a squeak behind him. Turning around, he saw Italy staring at him with shock on his face. America stared back, not really knowing what to say.

"Uh, hi?" America tried, giving Italy his Hollywood smile. "Nice weather today."

"Um, yes, I suppose." Italy replied, giving America an unsure look.

Suddenly, America realized that Italy didn't know about the girl scout cookies, because he hadn't been present in the meeting room. Frowning, he gave Italy a questioning look.

"Hey, why weren't you at the meeting with everyone else?" America asked.

"Oh, I was waiting for Germany." Italy said. "He was arriving late, and I wanted to wait for him out here."

"Oh, cool." America said. Just then, a door banged open, and the other nations swarmed out of the building.

"Shit." America said, looking for a way out. To his dismay, he saw that he was surrounded. Desperate, he turned to Italy. "Italy, please help me!"

"Of course!" Italy said. "I don't know what's going on, but I'll help you!"

"Thank you!" America said in relief. As the other nations closed in on them, Italy gave America a wink.

"Try and look scared." Italy said. Then with a deep breath, he shouted at the top of his lungs, "GERMANY, HELP!"

The other nations froze as Italy yelled. They heard running, and Germany came into view. Germany spotted them and his jaw dropped at what he saw. There was his brother with a black eye, China looked disheveled, England was holding a sword, Spain was holding an ax, Norway and Iceland had red marks on their foreheads, Sweden was holding America's jacket, Switzerland was holding his gun, Frances wrist was bruised, Japan looked unusually driven, and the rest of the nations were staring at him like deer caught in a headlight. Shifting his gaze to the center of the group, he saw America without his jacket on, with a briefcase that looked like it had an ax mark on it, soaking wet and shivering, and giving Germany a pleading look. Italy just looked pleased with himself.

"What the hell is going on?" Germany yelled angerly.

"Ve, it was terrible!" Italy said, giving Germany a sad look. "I was waiting for you to arrive, but when I got here, I saw the other nations attacking America! I don't know why they were attacking, but America jumped out of the third story window and fell into the pool! It was super scary!"

"America, why are they attacking you?!" Germany asked, looking bewildered.

"I was just trying to protect my girl scout cookies and myself from these weirdos." America said, glaring at the other nations around him. "I don't know why they didn't just ask me to get them some, but when I refused to share, they attacked me." Then, America huffed. "They attacked me with weapons for god's sake. Look what they did to my briefcase!" America held up his briefcase to prove his point.

"All of you should be ashamed of yourselves!" Germany yelled angerly. "Most of you would never act like this! What's gotten into you all!?"

"Girl scout cookies only come once a year." Prussia said. "We were just trying to get some."

"Those things are like crack." Denmark said.

"And since girl scout cookie sales are done, there was no other way to get them." China pointed out.

"NEIN! You have no excuse!" Germany shouted, making the others shift guilty. "Give back America's jacket, and all of you, I shall be informing all of your bosses what happened today! Now get back into that meeting room this instant! Move it!"

With that, the other nations turned and walked back into the building. Germany sighed, and turned to America. "I think you can skip this one America. You need to go home and change."

"Yeah, thanks for helping me out." America said with a thankful smile.

"It was no problem." Germany said with a nod. Italy smiled, and patted America on the back.

"Germany is always there to help me!" Italy said cheerfully. "I knew he would help you!"

"Oh, here." America said, handing Italy his briefcase. "The cookies should be intact, you deserve them for helping me."

"There's no need." Italy chuckled. "I was just happy to help. Well, maybe one packet." Italy said with a wink, pulling out one of the boxes. Handing America his case back, he and Germany walked back to the building, leaving Sweden, who had America's jacket, and America alone together.

"Sorry." Sweden muttered as he handed America's jacket back to him. "Sealand really wanted them this year, and I forgot to ask you to get some."

"Dude, just tell me next time." America sighed. "If you gang up on me, of course I'm going to not want to share. Look, you can just take this." America said, handing Sweden his case. "They've caused me enough trouble." At that, Sweden blinked, then gave America a thankful look. America then turned and walked towards his car.

"Screw this, I'm buying from the boy scouts next year." America muttered. "No one would kill me over popcorn."

A/N: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that this chapter is one of the weirdest one's I've ever written. Any who, Girl Scouts are famous for their cookie sales. They usually do pretty well with their sales too. But they don't sell them all year round, only a few months out of the year. As a result, people buy a bunch of boxes, and put them in the freezer. Girl scouts sell door to door, but they also set up booths outside of stores. Boy scouts sell popcorn.