America was used to bullet wounds. He had been shot at more times than he cared to remember. He was also a pretty fast healer, as most other nations were. He was more than capable than handling his wounds. So, he wondered with an eye twitch, why were England, Canada, and France still bugging him?
America was sitting at the breakfast table, with France to his right, Canada at the stove, and England sulking to his left. After he had left the hospital, he had assumed that the others would have gone back to their hotels, or, ya know, go home. Hell, Canada didn't even have to go far to get home. But to his surprise, they had followed him home, requesting that at least one of them stay the night to help him. At first, America had felt touched that they cared about him, and had allowed Canada to stay at his place. But that had been three days ago and his wound had pretty much healed. Not that he didn't appreciate guests, but there was only so much bickering he could take from the European duo. And as much as he loved his brother, he didn't think he could take his brother watchful eye on him every second of the day anymore. For goodness sake, he wasn't made of glass.
"The pancakes are ready!" Canada said happily, lifting the large stack of pancakes from beside the stove and placing them on the table.
"You know, I could have made breakfast today." England huffed as he helped himself to the stack. "I did offer."
"That's ok." Canada said quickly, taking his place at the table, grabbing the maple syrup and pouring it over his pancakes. "I like making breakfast."
"Hmm, if you say so." England sighed, taking a sip of his tea. America narrowed his eyes at that. Where the hell did he get that tea from?
"America, how is your shoulder feeling today?" France asked, glancing at America as he dug into his own plate.
"It's pretty much back to normal." America said, flexing his shoulder to prove his point. "But it's still a little sore."
"That's good." Canada said, giving his brother a grin.
"Well, anyone would get better if they got to eat your pancakes every day." America joked, digging into his breakfast. After a few minutes, he noticed that his coffee cup was empty. He got up and walked over to the coffee maker. Seeing it was empty, he opened the cupboard to grab out the coffee container, but noticed that the box was missing. Frowning, he searched through the other cupboards but ended up with nothing. Scowling, he turned around and cleared his throat.
"Did you guys finish off the coffee?" He asked, looking around for a guilty face. France froze, fork halfway to his mouth. Slowly lowering it, France looked over at America in alarm.
"I didn't even notice that you had run out." Canada said, looking nervous.
"Did you have any this morning, America?" England asked, glaring at France.
"Yeah, but one cup of coffee isn't going to cover me for the morning." America sighed.
"I apologize, I should have picked up more." France said as the others breathed a sigh of relief. No flipped tables today.
"It's fine." America said, waving off the apology. "I'll just go pick up some after breakfast." Taking his seat back at the table, he grabbed the orange juice and poured himself a glass. "So, not to be rude, but don't you guys have work to do?"
"We took some time off." Canada said. "I don't need to go back for at least another day."
"If I remember correctly, weren't you the one that called everyone begging for someone to keep you company?" England asked with a smirk.
"Yeah, but that was before I got shot in the shoulder." America huffed, stuffing some pancakes in his mouth.
"Wouldn't that make you want to spend time with us more?" France asked with a wink towards the younger nation. "After all, after going through something stressful it's good to spend time with other people."
America opened his mouth to respond, but his cellphone started playing his national anthem. Sighing, he pulled it out of his pocket, and grimaced when he saw it was his boss.
'Nope.' America thought, declining the call and turning off his phone. 'Not dealing with that.'
"Who was that?" Canada asked, looking over curiously.
"Telemarketer." America lied, putting the phone back into his coat pocket. Just then, his house phone rang. Sighing, America finished his pancakes and got up from his seat. "Sorry, I got to take this." He said, walking out of the kitchen and into his office. Walking over to the phone, he picked it up.
"It's me." America said. He rolled his eyes as his boss went off on a rant, questioning him a mile a minute.
"Nope, not doing this." America said, cutting off his boss. "I'll email you the details later. But right now, I'm eating breakfast." And with that, he slammed the receiver back down on the hook. Damn, he loved doing that. He wondered in amusement how many people could say they hung up on the president. The phone started ringing again, and America could almost feel the anger coming off it. America simply pulled the plug out of the back of the phone with a grin. With that problem solved, America decided that he should go out and buy that coffee. He had been stuck the house for the last few days, and he wanted to stretch his legs. Plus, if anyone came by the house, he could piss them off by not being there.
Walking back to the kitchen, America grabbed his grocery list off the side of the fridge, and walked toward the hall to grab his house keys.
"I'm going out." America yelled over his shoulder.
"This early?" England asked in confusion.
"Where are you going?" Canada asked with a frown.
"Just to the grocery store down the street." America said, grabbing his keys off the holder, and opening the door. "I'll be back in an hour."
"Watch out for muggers." France yelled.
"Will do." America said, and with that, he raced to the stairs, and ran down to the street below. God, it felt good to be out of the apartment. As he reached the final step, he heard someone arguing with the man at the front desk. Looking up, he was surprised to see it was Russia.
"I just want his room number." Russia said with a growl.
"Sir, I cannot give out such information." The clerk said firmly. "I must ask you to leave."
Russia narrowed his eyes, and his evil aura started to overwhelm the poor man.
"Is that so?" Russia asked.
"Y-yes." The shorter man gulped.
Feeling bad for the guy, America jogged over and tapped Russia on the shoulder. Surprised, Russia looked over and when he spotted the American he smiled, dropping the aura.
"Alfred!" He said with a friendly tone. "There you are."
"Dude, stop harassing the front desk." America sighed. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to check up on you." Russia said brightly. The man behind the desk threw America a disbelieving look.
"Well, thanks I guess." America said with a shrug. "I was actually just heading out to get groceries, but if you want to tag along you can."
"Ah, thank you." Russia said, and they walked out of the building, much to relief of the man behind the desk.
As they walked down the street, Russia cleared his throat, looking a little more serious. "I heard you were shot." Russia said, looking over America. "What happened?"
"I got jumped in an alley." America sighed. Russia snorted in laughter.
"You are joking, right?" Russia asked, giving America a doubtful look. "You of all people, getting mugged? That's not very heroic of you."
"Man, shut up." America pouted. "He was threating my dog."
"But to let your guard down?" Russia tusked. "You would have never let something like that happen to you during the cold war. You're getting soft."
"I'm not getting soft!" America denied, glaring at Russia. They came to a crosswalk, and stopped, waiting for the sign to change.
"What happened to that gun you used to carry with you?" Russia asked, giving America a curious look. Then he added, "And where did the guy hit you?"
"He got me in my right shoulder." America said, lightly touching the wounded area. "And as for the gun, I can't exactly take it with me everywhere I go these days. To many metal detectors."
"Yes, I have been having the same problem with my pipe." Russia sighed.
"But who knows, with being "kidnapped" and getting mugged, maybe I should start considering carrying another weapon." America joked.
"Speaking of that kidnapping, I've been meaning to talk to you about that." Russia said. The crosswalk sign turned green, and they continued walking.
"Yeah, what about?" America asked, throwing Russia a worried look. "Did someone figure it out?"
"Nyet, not that I know of." Russia said with a shake of his head. "Did anyone on your side figure out that it was me?"
"No, I told them you were just some weird guy." America chuckled. "I wasn't exactly lying."
"To me, you are the strange one." Russia pointed out.
"Yeah, well we're all weird in our own way." America said. Just then, he smelled the amazing smell of coffee. Looking to his right, he saw a Starbucks.
"Hey, why don't we go in here real quick?" America said, pulling Russia into the store. "I haven't had my fill of coffee this morning."
"That's unusual for you." Russia said in surprise. "I thought you practically worshiped the stuff."
"Coffee is worth worshipping." America said with a smirk. After they ordered their drinks, they sat at a table away from the other customers.
"So, are they still investigating the case?" Russia asked, sipping his hot chocolate.
"Yeah, but they haven't been able to find anything useful." America said with a chuckle.
"As I expected." Russia said, looking relieved. Looking down at his cup, he frowned when he saw a warning label on his cup. Looking closer he read, 'WARNING, DRINK IS HOT!'
"America, why is this cup warning me that my drink is hot? Is that not a given?" Russia asked in bewilderment.
"Hmm, oh." America said, glancing at his own cup. "Eh, it's nothing to worry about. All the cups say that."
"Why?" Russia asked in amusement. "Are you Americans so stupid that you need to be told what's hot and cold?"
"No, and if you say something like that again, I'm going to cram this cup down your throat." America said, narrowing his eyes.
"I would snap you in half." Russia said with a smile.
"Uh-huh." America snorted doubtfully. "And as for the warning label, it's so no one sues the hell out of this place for not warning people about the "dangerous" contents in the cup." America explained, using air quotes on the word dangerous.
"Why would they sue for something like that?" Russia asked in amazement. "Is it not common sense that this cup would be hot?"
"Oh, it is, but where there are opportunities to be exploited, you can be damn sure that people are going to use them to their advantage." America sighed, shaking his head. "If people are hurt without a warning label in sight, they like to try and make money off the company for neglect. Or if there is a situation that demands justice for injury or something. I mean, sometimes it is totally justified, but there are a lot of cases of people just trying to make a quick buck."
"But, that seems really time consuming." Russia said with a frown. "And expensive. What happens if the person suing the company lost? Wouldn't they have to pay the company's lawyers for the case?"
"Nope." America said, taking a swig of coffee from his cup. "You're thinking of English Rule. Over here, we use the American Rule. If you want to sue someone, each party pays for their own lawyer. The party that losses the case doesn't have to pay the winning party's lawyer fee." America explained.
"But, that's silly." Russia said with a frown. "With the English system, people aren't as willing to become sue happy. It only happens when something can be won."
"And that's its main problem." America said with a sigh. "If I were to sue a company due to unsafe health regulations, and I was totally justified in doing so but lost, I would be out hundreds of thousands of dollars. Not only would nothing get solved, I would have screwed up my whole life. No, at least with my system people aren't as likely to lose everything."
"But it does make the company's nervous." Russia pointed out.
"Yeah, it does." America sighed. "Everything has a warning label on it. Don't throw a toaster in the bathtub, don't put a person in the washing machine, there are peanuts in peanut butter. I could go on forever."
"That is interesting." Russia said.
"That's one way to put it." America said, taking a sip of his coffee
As he said this, he glanced out the window, and choked on his drink. There was a guy outside sitting on a bench, dressed casually and wearing a pair of sunglasses. But America knew who that guy was. It was one of the body guards that had been assigned to him in China. What the hell was he doing here? Following America's gaze, Russia frowned when he saw the guy.
"Who is that?" Russia asked.
"Dude, that's one of the body guards that my boss put on me after my kidnapping in China." America hissed, looking around for an exit. Then he thought about his phone. Pulling it out and turning it on, he saw that he had multiple missed calls from his boss. Cursing, he looked around for a place to hide. The bathroom? No, that wouldn't work, to obvious.
"I could kidnap you again." Russia offered with a smirk. America glared at Russia.
"I swear to god, if you do that here I will kill you." America said.
"Just offering." Russia chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender. "It's not like I can't be seen with you here. We are just getting coffee after all."
"That's not what's bothering me." America whined. "I told the boss that I'd send him the details of the mugging this morning. And that I can handle myself." Glowering, he muttered, "I liked my old bosses better. They didn't bother me so much."
"I'm sure he's just worried about you." Russia said.
"Worried my ass." America snorted. "Now that guy is following me, I'm never going to have a moment to myself."
Russia thought for a moment, then a grin came over his face. "How badly do you want this guy gone?"
"You're not allowed to hurt him." America said quickly.
"Oh, I won't." Russia reassured. "In fact, I won't even talk to him. I have an idea to sneak us out of here."
"Really?" America asked in surprise. "How?"
"It depends." Russia said with a shrug. "How badly do you want this guy to stop following you?"
"Pretty bad." America admitted. "To be perfectly honest, I'm tired of people watching my every move. I just want some time to myself."
"Well then, follow me." Russia said, grabbing America's wrist and pulling America up to the counter. "Play along." Russia whispered. Then pulling off a concerned look, Russia walked over to the lady behind the counter.
"Excuse me." Russia said, making the girl look up. "Could we use the door in your back room to leave?"
The girl raised an eyebrow at that. "And why would you want to do that?" She asked suspiciously.
"My friend here is being followed by his ex-boyfriend." Russia sighed sadly. America felt his face heat up at that. What the hell was Russia saying?! "See that man on the bench outside? The one wearing the sunglasses? He's been stalking him all day." Russia said, pointing out the window.
The girl looked over to where Russia was pointing, and she grimaced. "Who, the bald guy?"
"That's the one." Russia said with a nod. Russia elbowed America.
"Yeah, that's him." America said. He was going to kill Russia.
"I can see why you left him." The girl said with a nod. She gave America a pitiful look. "You poor thing. Of course you can use the back door."
"Please don't tell him I was here." America asked. "I don't want him knowing I was here."
"Of course not." The girl said, opening the door so they could go behind the counter. "I hope things get better for you and your new boyfriend." America turned bright red and started to sputter in protest.
"Thank you." Russia said with a smile. Pulling America by the wrist, Russia led America through the door to the backroom, and out the back door into the alleyway. As soon as the door closed behind them, America tugged his hand out of Russia's, still red from embarrassment.
"What the hell kind of a plan was that?!" America shouted, punching Russia in the shoulder. "Oh my god, I'm going to die from humiliation!"
"It worked, didn't it?" Russia said with a smirk, dodging the next punch aimed towards his face.
"That was my favorite Starbucks!" America wailed, hiding his face in his hands. "I'll never be able to show my face there again."
"Don't be such a baby, my love." Russia joked. The look America gave Russia was murderous.
"If you call me that again, I'm going to kill you and throw your body into the Hutson." America hissed. "How did you even come up with such a stupid plan?!"
"I saw it in a movie." Russia said, walking towards the street. "I think it was called National Treasure."
"Betrayed by one of my own movies." America wailed, following Russia.
"Oh, it wasn't that bad." Russia chuckled as they walked out onto the street.
"I'm scarred for life." America said bluntly.
"That's harsh." Russia laughed. "I didn't even know you could blush like that."
"I take it back. Death would be too kind." America growled. "I'll torture you first."
"I look forwards to it." Russia said, patting America on the head. America had to resist biting Russia's fingers. For a few blocks they walked in silence, America fuming the whole way.
"Ah, I think that is a place to buy food." Russia said, pointing to a grocery store across the street.
"What gave it away?" America snapped. Russia sighed, and gave America a bemused look.
"You surly aren't still angry?" Russia asked. "You're over reacting."
"I'll be the judge of that." America huffed, crossing the street and walking into the store, Russia following close behind him. After grabbing a cart, he pulled out his list, and scanned it. He noticed that France and England had written on the list. Sighing, he noticed that France had asked for a bottle of cooking wine. He must have forgotten that he was underage. Russia looked over his shoulder, and laughed when he saw the request.
"It seems you can't get that." Russia chuckled.
"Shut up." America said. "I'm well aware of that."
"I could get it for you." Russia smirked. "But only on one condition."
"Oh, and what would that be?" America asked, narrowing his eyes.
"You could give me a kiss." Russia teased. America felt his eye twitch in irritation.
"I will start by breaking your fingers, one by one." America threatened, pushing Russia aside. "With a hammer."
"Aw, so that's a no?" Russia snickered.
"Then I'll start on your toes." America continued, glaring at the Russian. "Screw France, he can live without wine."
"If you say so." Russia said.
"And stay at least three feet away from me, you creep." America huffed. "I don't need people getting anymore wrong ideas."
"No need to be rude." Russia commented lightly.
"Why are you even still following me?" America asked, grabbing a gallon of milk and putting it into the cart. "You must have something better to do."
"You said I can tag along." Russia pointed out. America paused. That's right, he had. Damn it.
"Whatever." America huffed. As he grabbed more things from around the store, Russia continued to follow him with a smile. America was oh so tempted to punch the man in the face. Happy place, think of his happy place.
"So, why is France's hand writing on your grocery list?" Russia asked. "Is he visiting?"
"Yeah, he came to the hospital to check on me with England and Canada." America explained.
"I see." Russia said with a nod. "That makes sense."
America rolled his eyes, but as he did so, he spotted something. Instantly his mood improved. Walking over the object, he picked it off the shelf and threw it into the cart, and walked up to the front of the store to pay.
"What's that?" Russia asked, pointing towards the item America had just picked up.
"It's a label gun." America said cheerfully. "I love these things."
"Label gun?" Russia asked, unimpressed.
"Yep, I use them all the time for labeling my work." America said, putting his items on the conveyer belt.
"Can't you just use sticky notes?" Russia asked.
"The gun is cooler." America said, paying the cashier, and grabbing his bags. Wincing at the pain in his shoulder, he walked towards the exit. Russia suddenly grabbed the bags out of America's hands.
"Let me help you with that." Russia said. "The bags seem to be bothering your shoulder."
"I'm fine." America said with a shrug, not looking Russia in the eyes.
"You're an awful liar." Russia said. "How did you ever get into phycological warfare with me?"
"Because I'm amazing." America said as they walked out of the store. Looking around, America was relieved to see that the body guard was nowhere to be seen. Sighing, he looked back at Russia.
"You really don't need to carry those." America said.
"Consider it me making up to you for embarrassing you." Russia said with a shrug.
"Fine." America gave. "Don't fall behind." With that, America headed back towards his apartment. He decided to cut through a few alleyways in order to avoid the Starbucks that he spotted the body guard by. That was, until he came across the alleyway that he had gotten shot in. Stopping, he noticed that the blood was still on the walls.
Russia noticed America had stopped, and looking around, he narrowed his eyes.
"Is this where you got shot?" Russia asked, eyeing the blood.
"Yeah." America sighed, unconsciously gripping his shoulder. "That guy was a jack-ass."
"You were very close to your home." Russia noted.
"Yeah, the guy followed me back to my house." America said with shutter. "He had been following me almost from the time I left my apartment. Pretty fucked up."
"Why did he target you?" Russia asked.
"Thought I was a rich kid." America sighed. Then shaking his head, he continued down the alleyway. "Well, it doesn't matter now. In the end, everything turned out ok."
"You are quick to forgive." Russia said in surprise.
"I don't know the guy's story." America said with a shrug. "Sure, he could have "killed" me, but in the end, I would have lived. I'm only really pissed off because he touched Libby. She was only trying to help me." America said guilty. "I came down this street, knowing it could be unsafe. I put her in danger. And in the end, she got hurt because of me." America sighed, shaking his head. "Oh well, hindsight is always 20/20."
"That's true." Russia said with a nod. They walked up to the door of the apartment building, and America turned to Russia, hand stretched out for the bags.
"I can take them from here." America said, taking the bags from Russia. "Thanks for carrying them."
"No problem." Russia said with a shrug. Then with a smirk, he added, "So, do I get a kiss as a reward?"
America's face turned bright red, and he scowled at the taller man. "I will use a baseball bat to break your legs. And if you ever tell ANYONE what you did, I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth."
"I'm sure you will." Russia said with a chuckle, walking away.
"Asshole." America muttered.
A/N: So, the poll came in, and labels on everything came in first place! The next poll will be up soon. So, I hope I got this one right. Research for this topic turned out to be harder than I thought. And kind of funny. But there is a catch to putting warning labels on everything. People in the states are starting to ignore them because they are literally on everything, making people ignore warning labels on things are dangerous. The thinking being, "If everything is dangerous, nothing is." Oh, and by the way, just wanted to say that there are still no official ships in this story. Just putting that out there, because it's been a while since I said that. Just humor. ;) (Of course, if you want to put on the shipping goggles go ahead.)