When Uma woke up that morning much too early, she knew something wasn't quite right. However, there was not a single thing that indicated it. She sat up, brushing the white dog hairs off of her where she had brought the puppy up for a visit last night, and she rubbed at her eyes, noticing that everyone else's alarms were going off as well.
Last night, as they were feasting upon Evie's gargantuan catfish, George had informed them that they would be getting started earlier than usual today. The reason why was not revealed, despite how interested the five were in the mystery of it all.
Uma sighed, noticing that the alarms were turning off as everybody woke up. Uma yawned widely, still a little bewildered at the feeling of dread that she was experiencing, and she pulled on her daytime clothes slowly.
Evie prodded Mal awake gently, Mal slapping at her hand just barely as she tried to stay in the bed just for a few moments longer. Evie lightly smacked Mal's hand in response, still too tired to make good sense of everything, and the bluenette turned to put on her clothes.
Audrey was still lying there snoring, and her alarm was making an incessant noise. Uma rolled her eyes, tapping the button to turn it off before taking Audrey's clothes and dropping the pile on the princess's face. Miraculously, that somehow woke up the normally unawakenable girl, and Audrey snorted, pushing the clothes off of her face with a gasp.
"Mornin'," Uma slurred, sleep still addling her slightly, and Audrey narrowed her eyes and set her jaw in irritation, getting her clothes on as well.
Before long, they were all inside the house, eating some eggs that Audrey had fought the chickens for once again today. Uma still had that feeling of impending doom weighing her down, and she couldn't figure out for the life of her what could be awry.
They were all eating some French toast and a bit of eggs, and they were seated at the table in their usual fashion with Anne. However, after George didn't come for a little while, Evie furrowed her brow, looking around.
"Where's George?" Evie asked after a moment, realizing that the old man wasn't coming in to eat.
"Oh, he doesn't like to eat before heading out. He says it's bad luck. Especially with what y'all are doing today," Anne mumbled the last part, and Uma was stuck on the particular phrase "heading out." She furrowed her brow, really hoping that she meant heading out in the old truck that they had sitting around the farm.
"What are we doing today?" Mal asked curiously, and Anne just gave her an odd, tight-lipped smile, and returned to her food, her eyes sparkling as she kept the secret from them.
Everyone finished their food slowly but surely, and at Anne's instruction, headed out toward the horse fence. Uma was really hoping that George was just checking on the creatures before they left in the truck, and she followed the group hesitantly.
Uma happened to catch a bit of movement on her side, and she saw that there was a goose walking next to her. It was Elmer, and she raised an eyebrow, following his line of focus. Her eyes quickly settled on a blue-haired target, and she sighed with a slight laugh.
"I think you need to leave her alone. You're going to give her a mental breakdown, you know?" Uma informed the bird, and he just looked at her strangely. Uma shook her head, smiling at the entire situation.
They arrived at the horse fence, and Uma's eyes went wide as she stopped. There inside the fence were six horses tied to the fence, clad in tack as they were quite obviously being readied for a ride.
Uma's immediate instinct was to run, especially since that same horse was there that had chased her just yesterday morning. It looked at her, an untrustworthy look in its eye, and she gulped.
However, as Audrey looked at her a bit strangely, Uma knew that she was going to have to at least act like she was not afraid of it in the least. For her own good, she'd have to act as if she wasn't afraid. She had heard that horses could sense fear.
Uma let out a breath before walking up next to the rest of the group, noticing that Elmer was lurking some distance away. She made a mental note to watch her butt just in case, but she ultimately knew that the goose had a one-track mind that was filled with thoughts of Evie.
"Good morning, girls!" George greeted with a smile, carrying a saddle in his hands as he started for the first horse tied up.
"So I take it that we're riding somewhere today?" Mal asked, and he nodded with a pleased grin.
"Yes, ma'am, we are," he replied, resting the saddle on top of the horse as he started to strap it on. Uma resisted the urge to tuck tail and run, knowing how badly she'd be picked on if she did. She couldn't chicken out on this. She had to take the advice she had given Evie on the first day- put on her big girl panties.
"Now, do you think that all of you could go and get them saddles in yonder?" George questioned once he put on his horse's saddle and wiped his brow carefully. Everyone headed for the horse barn. Evie sighed slightly as soon as they entered, remembering well the job that her and Audrey had completed.
They reached the end of the hallway between the stables, and everyone selected a saddle. Evie looked around quickly before picking out the most Western-looking saddle that she could see, and Mal just grabbed the one nearest to her. Uma subtly searched for a saddle that had a relatively large horn on it and that looked like it would hold onto the horse tightly. She finally settled on one that she thought was incrementally larger than the rest. Audrey got the fanciest one out of the two that were left, and Jane just picked the only one remaining, not really picky about her saddle.
Once they went back outside, George smiled at them.
"Let me show you to your horses," George told them, and they followed him in an orderly line, their saddles in tow.
"Mal, this is Coal. Coal can be a little persnickety, but if you show him who's the boss, he'll behave for you. Just don't let him know if you have any fear of him. Be firm with your commands," George instructed, and Mal nodded, surveying the black horse.
"This is Carson," Evie tilted her head slightly at the name that didn't seem to go with how everything on the farm was named, and George waved a hand dismissively.
"We bought him from some young folk. You should like him. He's a little quirky sometimes, but he should be good for you," George informed Evie, pointing at the white horse, and Evie looked at the old man with some confusion and slight trepidation.
"What do you mean by quirky exactly?"
"Hang on tight because he has a bad habit of tripping over his own feet," George told her, and Evie's eyes went wide as she gazed at George in slight horror. He held a hand up in a placating gesture. "He's never dumped anyone off, though, so don't worry too much."
"Now, Jane, you're matched with the lovely Prune. Prune's an elderly horse, and she shouldn't give you one whit bit of trouble except the fact that she's kind of slow and not real responsive to commands. But she should work for you pretty well," George spoke, and Jane sat the saddle on the horse gently, reaching a hand out and petting the gray-speckled hairs on her neck.
"This is Prissy, Audrey. You'll be riding her. Be careful, though, she can be a bit of a handful," George introduced, moving down the line as he reached the very last horse.
"It's a fitting match," Uma commented, trying to distract herself from her nervousness, and Audrey shot her an unappreciative glare. Uma just stuck her tongue out at her slightly before realizing exactly where George had led her. Uma almost ran for her life as soon as she saw the horse turn its head to look at her. It was that blasted creature that had nearly mauled her when she had been checking its hooves.
"Uma, you'll have Charlie. He's the sweetest horse I've got on this whole farm," George assured her confidently and Uma shook her head slightly as she watched the creature that was watching her.
"With all due respect, sir, I already know this horse. You haven't seen the Devil in it like I have," Uma informed him, and he just laughed heartily, clapping her on the shoulder fondly.
"You go on, now. Put on their saddles, girls, and we'll be off to look for some calves."
He watched them for a moment, and Audrey, Uma, Evie, and Mal put on the saddles over the blankets that George had already put on them. Jane already had strapped her horse. She fortunately knew how to tack a horse. It was one of the few things that her mother had ever let her learn to do outside of school and piano.
Audrey furrowed her brow, somewhat embarrassed at the fact that she, a princess that greatly enjoyed horseback riding, didn't know how to put on a saddle. Audrey looked at how Jane had put on the saddle, and she tried to replicate it as well as she could. From behind Audrey, Evie followed the pink princess' movements. Mal copied Evie, watching her carefully.
George nodded his head at the lot of them, impressed with their quick learning. However, he quickly noticed that Uma was having great difficulty.
He came over sympathetically, and wordlessly strapped the saddle on for her. Uma offered him a nod, and she released a deep breath.
George stood back from the lot of them, and he smiled.
"Okay, now, unhitch them." The girls looked at one another and they untied the reins from the fence in front of the horses. Uma very hesitantly complied, and as soon as she had, Charlie looked at her strangely. Uma shook her head at him in a signal of negation, and he very slowly turned his gaze ahead.
"Now get on them. Grab onto the horn of the saddle, and throw your leg over," he instructed, and Uma gulped, trying her best to keep her nerve as she got on top of the horse. Charlie shifted a bit underneath her, and she held onto the reins tightly. Audrey swiftly mounted her horse. Jane did as well, and Evie and Mal followed her and Audrey's example.
"You know, you five look like real cowgirls now," George complimented, and Evie visibly puffed up with great pride. Mal rolled her eyes but offered him a grin.
George came around and got on top of his horse. He looked at them all happily.
"You ready to ride?"
All of the girls offered varying forms of affirmation, and he started off, clicking his tongue and lightly kicking its sides.
Evie suddenly heard a honk before she started, and she paused, her eyes going wide as she spotted the goose on the ground.
"Shoo! Shoo! Get out of here!" Evie scolded, and the goose waddled away, but not before offering her a chilling look that made her significantly wary of the animal.
Audrey and Jane started out, and Mal and Evie followed behind them, forming two separate rows of horses and riders. Uma went along in the very back, trying hard to seem as if she were somewhat in control of the horse.
They reached George, and he had opened up the gate to the cows. Wordlessly, they all headed out into the cow pasture.
Uma rode along mostly silently, too scared to say anything as she held onto the reins and her horse trotted along behind the others.
"Now, we aren't repeating yesterday, you feel me? We're gonna be compadres today, capiche?" Uma questioned quietly, and the horse just offered her a sideways glance.
"Are you talking to the horse?" Mal asked, turning in her saddle to look at Uma, and Uma shrugged nonchalantly, trying to appear as if she hadn't uttered a single word.
"Heck, no. It's all good back here," Uma assured her, and Mal just raised an eyebrow, turning back to face forward and converse with Evie.
"So?" Evie questioned excitedly, and Mal tilted her head curiously.
"So?"
"So, how is your first time on a horse?" Evie asked excitedly as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, their horses trotting in sync alongside one another.
"Well… It's not terrible."
"I kind of like it actually. It's an entirely new point of view."
"A whole new world, right?" Mal questioned, humoring Evie and Evie just gave her a big grin before playfully singing the line Mal had just used.
"Oh, but, M, we're like Bonnie and Clyde, but like I'm a girl version of Clyde. And your sister," Evie dreamed aloud, stroking the shoulders of the creature beneath her.
"Well, that brings a whole new bunch of weird to that relationship."
"Okay, then. What about Bonnie and Annie Oakley? I'll be Annie Oakley, famous gunslinger and so hot that girls wanna be her and boys wanna be with her," Evie struck a valiant sort of pose and Mal snorted at her.
"Yeah, did you think about the gunslinger part? You don't have a gun, Evie," Mal told her, and Evie furrowed her brow and pursed her lips as she considered this. Evie then got a giant grin on her face before holding her hand up in a finger gun as she made a shooting sound. Mal rolled her eyes and tried to hold back a smile, enjoying Evie's antics.
"So I get to be Bonnie, huh? Sounds like a goofy name," Mal commented and Evie shook her head emphatically.
"No, no, no, don't underestimate the power of Bonnie. Bonnie was a lean, mean, killing machine," Evie informed her.
"Huh. I like it."
"It's just like you. She's got a cutesy tutesy little name, but she has a boiling pot of I'm going to kill you dead and paint your blood on the walls just waiting inside of her."
"Boy, you're making me out to be a sweet little person."
"Dynamite does come in small packages, Mal," Evie informed her with a fond smile, and Mal finally cracked a grin.
"So how do Thorn, Jane, and Uma come into the story?" Mal questioned, and Evie thought for a moment. Evie's face suddenly lit up in a smile as she leaned toward Mal and spoke quietly.
"They could always be the three stooges," Evie pointed out and both girls fell into giggles.
Uma had happened to hear them and she just raised an eyebrow, completely unimpressed with this decision made by the two in front of her. It almost distracted her from being terrified.
Well, except for when the horse started to turn its head and look at her on its back.
"Don't get any ideas," Uma told it firmly, her fear still coursing through her veins wholeheartedly as they passed by a few trees.
The horse looked to the side and he started to move sideways toward the trees. Uma's eyes went wide as he started under a bunch of low branches.
"Stop! Bad horse!" Uma scolded angrily, but before she knew it, there were leaves slapping her face as the horse moved a bit faster to take her off guard. Uma brought her hands up, blocking the thin branches as she tried to keep the thing from successfully throwing her off as it seemed so intent on doing.
When Uma finally got out from the trees, she grabbed onto the reins carefully but firmly, trying to keep control of the horse despite the fact that she was positively terrified that the thing was going to throw her off eventually.
"Are we handling our horses well, girls?" Audrey suddenly piped up, and Uma knew she must have seen Uma getting ran up under all of the low branches. Uma just raised an eyebrow, trying to look sassy as Audrey looked back at them all.
"Uma, you have something in your hair," Audrey finally acknowledged, and Uma brought a hand up, realizing that there was a leaf caught in her hair. She grabbed it quickly and dropped it on the ground.
"It's okay, Uma. It happens to everyone that's new at riding a horse," Audrey told her, surprisingly compassionate considering the fact that this was a perfect opportunity to pick on Uma.
Truthfully, Audrey had been watching Uma with the horses. She had actually happened to see Uma getting chased by one from inside the house, but she didn't say anything. It actually surprised her that Uma was that afraid of something, and she didn't really like for Uma to be genuinely terrified of something to the point that it was almost a phobia.
They continued to ride for a while longer, Evie and Mal incessantly chattering and Uma and Audrey bantering every once in a while. About an hour had passed when George suddenly spotted what they had come out for in the first place.
"Y'all, I think we've got something!" George called, and Uma's eyes widened as everyone stopped in front of what was quite possibly the most disgusting thing that she had ever witnessed.
There before them all was a cow with unidentifiable things hanging out of its behind. Evie was gaping at it, no doubt analyzing the intricacies of cow birthing, and Mal looked like she was going to throw up over the side of the horse.
George got off of his horse and went to examine the cow carefully, and Mal actually gagged when he put his hand inside of it to feel for the calf.
"Okay. Mal, Uma, you two get down off your horses and help me get this thing out," George told them, and Uma very hesitantly got down from the horse. She started past its head very carefully, and it turned to her, its lips extended as it seemed as if it might bite her. She jumped to the side, dodging it quickly as she attempted to nonchalantly hurry up to the cow.
Mal was trying not to heave, and Evie was watching her sympathetically.
"Good luck," Evie wished, and Mal just shot her a glare as she got off the horse, heading up to the cow.
"Alright, now, Mal, I'm going to loop this chain around its legs and you're going to grab onto its feet when they come out, alright?" George instructed, and Mal nodded, her stomach feeling really queasy.
"Uma, you're going to help me pull the chain." Uma just nodded, and they started.
Before long, they were yanking on the chain, and Mal was trying to grab onto its feet and help them the best she could. It was positively disgusting, and she felt like throwing up already. Her stomach was churning, and she was trying hard not to think of what was going on.
"HOLY CANOLI, ITS HEAD CAME OUT!" Evie suddenly screeched from atop her horse, and Mal gagged.
"You are never holding my hand while I'm having a baby," Mal informed the bluenette, completely grossed out.
"Y'know, Mal, it really ain't so bad. It's the miracle of life," Uma pointed out, and Mal felt her stomach lurch once again as the cow pushed and Uma, Mal, and George yanked.
"I never thought we'd have a baby together," Uma suddenly spoke, and Mal just shook her head, spitting on the ground as she tried to keep her stomach where it belonged while Uma cackled.
"Don't get weird on me," Mal replied shortly, and Uma grinned widely, pulling on the calf as its shoulders started to come out.
"You can do it, Mama!" Evie cried encouragingly.
"Push it out, shove it out, way out!" Evie cheered, and Audrey just stared at her as if she had lost her mind completely.
"That is the most revolting chant I have ever heard."
"C'mon, Audrey, do it with me! You're a real cheerleader, after all," Evie told her, and Audrey shuddered in pure disgust. Jane actually started helping Evie, and they were cheering for the mother to push the baby out.
With one mighty pull, the calf came out completely, and Audrey shuddered. Mal almost puked right then and there, her hand on the back of the cow as it mooed loudly.
"Alright! It's out!" George sighed happily, and Uma grinned in pure relief.
Evie grinned widely as she leaned forward on her horse.
"Oh, it's a bouncing baby boy!" Evie cooed, and Mal rolled her eyes, trying not to barf everywhere.
"That's its tail," Mal ground out.
"A gorgeous glimmering girl!" Evie called out, correcting herself quickly.
George started to rub its body hard, trying to make sure that it could breathe. After a few moments, it raised its head up, its body rising and falling with breaths.
Evie turned back on her horse and held up her phone, getting a selfie with all of the girls in the background along with the freshly born calf.
"Wow. That's amazing," Uma finally commented, disturbing the silence and shaking her head as she let her hands hang limply beside her.
Mal chanced a look back, and as soon as she caught a glimpse of some of the more nasty aspects of birthing, she rushed forward and started to retch. When Mal had finally raised back up and Evie was sure she was okay, the bluenette chuckled a bit.
"Well, I'm not sure if you should be in there when you have a baby, because human birth is just as nasty as that or worse," Evie commented with a slight laugh.
Mal almost puked again.
A/N: So a word of advice to those that are reading that are also writers… Try to avoid writing about the birth of animals, because writing about that leads to researching about that, and researching about that leads to being traumatized for life, lol. I grossed myself out with the video I found, and I must say, don't look it up unless you have a stomach of steel and are able to handle that kind of thing. XD I tried to leave out some of the nasty details, but I added in just enough to make it sort of accurate. I hope I didn't disgust you all too badly.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Until next time, and maybe it won't be so gross next chapter…