My room was no longer a room, it was a prison. Metaphorical steel bars lined my window and the door had grown a massive padlock to make sure that whoever was locked up inside stayed there. Only the worst type of people belonged in it; Those that hurt their friends.

I was both a prisoner and the warden of this place. When I got home last night, I went straight to my room and locked the door. I haven't left since. Not even to shower or brush my teeth. I didn't have it in me to care about personal hygiene.

I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid. I could only imagine how much I hurt Ruff. She'd had a date and still made time for me. She didn't complain, or cancel, or anything.

And what did I do? I falsely accused her of ignoring me. I'd been ignoring her; I didn't even know her work schedule! I didn't deserve a friend like her.

Maybe that's why I lost her. There's no way she would ever even consider being my friend anymore, and I can't blame her. The only person to blame is the person who's locked herself in her room. The sun's warm rays that had been so welcoming yesterday had been covered with blinds; I didn't deserve to feel anything positive. I deserved to rot in this room until I starve.

All of the color had been drained out of my room. The walls, which had once been a beautiful pastel green, had turned into a gray pit of hopelessness. Even my bedsheets, which were already gray, seemed like something had come and sucked out all the life out of it.

Hiccup had seen me walk in, a complete and utter mess. He'd tried to talk to me, but I walked right by him like he wasn't even there and locked myself into room. Seeing him only made me feel worse. How could I insinuate that he was a better friend than someone I'd known for as long as I could remember?

I couldn't blame Hiccup, though. He'd done nothing wrong, after all. Once again, it was my stupid perspective on the world that screwed me over. I'd been so desperate for someone that could focus on me 24/7 that I allowed a homeless person to stay with me. That was crazy! Ruff was right to be skeptical of him. A few days is nowhere near enough time to know a person well enough.

But what's happening with Hiccup is an extenuating circumstance, I argued. Hiccup had taken me in when he didn't even know my name. All he knew about me was that I was drunk and asleep and vulnerable. When the next morning came, he acted like it was no big deal! Like it was normal to take strangers into your house. That wasn't the type of person who would fake being homeless just to get access to a woman's apartment.

It was only fair that I repaid the favor when he was the one in need. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I'd left him there in that alley. If it wasn't for Hiccup taking me in, I don't think I would've acknowledged that someone was even there. I would've just kept walking by like everyone before me did.

Being with Hiccup seemed to make me a better person, but it was also tearing apart my other friendships. And by friendships, I meant friendship. Had I really been so self-centered that I'd lost all of my other friends? I hadn't been really close to many people in college, but there were people I'd talked to. I thought that I'd dropped them all after I graduated, but what if it was the other way around?

God, I was so delusional. How could I build myself on such a tall pedestal and only notice when I've been kicked off?

My phone buzzed. It was a text from Ruff.

Found job opening at the grocery store off of main street for your bestie.

I couldn't comprehend the words on the screen. Even through everything I had told Ruff, she'd still went and hunted for a job for a person I was sure she didn't like. I didn't deserve Ruffnut. That girl had a nasty reputation in college for being impatient, but she seemed to have an endless supply of rope with me. Unfortunately, it seemed as if I'd used the rope to build a bridge, only to burn it (that's one h*ck of an extended metaphor). And even then, she'd found Hiccup a job!

She'd gone a date, and still managed to help me. A date! Ruff had a date planned and didn't tell me because she was afraid of not being taken seriously! I mean, sure I would've made a few jokes about it, but I wouldn't have meant anything! I wouldn't have meant anything.

I could hear tentative footsteps come down the hall. Hiccup must've heard me start to cry again. He'd come the other times I'd cried throughout the night. The few times I'd been able to fall unconscious, I'd woken up bawling my eyes out.

It was the same time every time I fell asleep. There was a fork in the road; one path led to Ruffnut and the other to Hiccup. In my dream, I'd chosen Hiccup and watched in horror as the path around Ruff crumbled and she fell into the void.

All things considered, Hiccup probably got less sleep than I did. He'd been outside my door practically the entire night. Of course, I ignored him whenever he came by to check on me. I wasn't ready to face the world yet.

"Astrid…" I had tried to be quiet, but being caught crumbled the will to try and hide my problems. My chest started to heave uncontrollably as sobs racked my body.

"Go away, Hiccup." Those words tore into me, because I didn't know how I meant for them to be intended. I wasn't sure if I wanted for him to leave me alone for the morning… or forever. Maybe I could convince Ruff to take me back if he just disappeared. We could just pretend nothing ever happened.

So what if getting rid of him was the simple solution? So what if it only treated the symptoms and didn't cure the disease? Temporary relief from the tidal wave of self-loathing was still relief.

No. That was the easy solution, not the right one. Hiccup had done nothing wrong. He didn't deserve to be out on the streets again. I needed to fix things with Ruff, and I needed to do it without sacrificing Hiccups well-being.

"What happened last night? Are you this upset because Ruff couldn't find me a job?" I wish it was so simple, but I just had to make things complicated.

"She found you a job. The grocery store off of main is hiring."

"So why have you locked yourself in your room?" there was a slight thump as Hiccup took a seat on the floor and laid his back on my door. "I'm very confused."

I let his question die. It wasn't worth explaining. Maybe he would leave if I told him how I'd treated Ruff. Then I would truly be alone. Would Hiccup do that? My instincts told me that he was too nice of a person, but I couldn't trust myself anymore.

We sat on opposite ends of the door before he tried again.

"I really want to help you, Astrid, but I can't do anything if you won't tell me anything." I tried to tell him, but the words wouldn't come out. I was too afraid of alienating him too.

"Ast-"

"I screwed up, okay?" Once those first words were out, it was like trying to stop a train. "I screwed up and it's all my fault. Ruff will never be my friend again and – and you're going to leave and I'm going to be all alone because I'm a shitty person and I can't see what's in front of me until I push them away."

"What are you talking about?" Was it weird that I knew his eyebrows were furrowed? I could see it perfectly in my minds eye. "Would you mind starting from the beginning?"

I was about to, but the words couldn't come out. If I told him everything, then I was sure things would get awkward between us. How could I tell him that I'd been so desperate for attention that I thought he was a better friend than someone who has been by my side for as long as I can remember? I didn't want him to think that I was shallow, even though it was starting to become apparent that I had been.

Maybe he would understand, or at least pretend to understand. And talking about it could help me feel better.

I don't want to feel better, though. I deserve to suffer. I was a bad person.

But Hiccup wasn't a bad person. Maybe he could help me become a better person.

"Am I selfish person, Hiccup?" It was an unfair question. Of course, he would tell me that I wasn't. To him, answering wrong could mean being thrown out onto the streets. Not that I would ever do that, but if I was him I wouldn't take that risk.

"You did plan to ask Ruff to help me look for a job before asking me if I was okay with it." He finally said. My eyes shot open; how did he know that? Was I really that easy to read? "Don't be surprised that I figured it out, the coincidences were obviously staged. And don't think I'm upset, or that I'm not glad that your friend found me a job, but I could have been. You overstepped your boundaries and I don't think it ever crossed your mind."

He sighed and lightly banged his head against the door. "First off, I've known you for less than I week, I am nowhere near qualified for this. However, from what I've see, you're not entirely selfish; you just don't think about other people.

"Do I need to remind you that if it wasn't for your insistence that I wouldn't be staying in your apartment?" Hiccup added. "That isn't something that just anyone would do. You'd need to be a pretty good person to take a homeless person off the streets."

Everything he said was true, but it wasn't making me feel any better. I was trying to lead him to a few magical words without him knowing what they were. And he wouldn't get there until he knew the main reason that dinner last night ended in tears.

"I told Ruffnut, my best friend for as long as I can remember, that you were a better friend than her." I blurted. There, it was out. The elephant in the room had been introduced. Hiccup sputtered for a second, obviously caught off guard.

"What? Why would you say that?"

"I don't know!" It was if a damn broke inside me. The tears started to cascade down my face again and my words came out raw. "She's just been so busy lately and she hasn't had time for me but you practically live with me and I was desperate for attention and now she's really mad at me and so am I but she still looked for a job for you and I feel even worse and…" I had to stop as my body heaved from sobbing so intensely. I'd ran out of breath and now I was struggling to get any air.

Hiccup stayed quiet and I knew I messed up. First, I burned the friendship with Ruff, and now I've made alienated myself from Hiccup.

"Wow, you've got some problems." Hiccups dry humor caught me completely off guard. I couldn't help the choked laugh that slipped its way past my lips. Traitor, I thought, I'm supposed to be sad right now. But it was hard to feel bad for yourself when no one else was.

"Thanks." It was strangely nice how he wasn't trying to sugarcoat anything. He was just calling it as he saw it, and indeed I did have some problems. Major problems. I couldn't believe I'd never noticed them before. How stupid and naïve could one person be. I'd thrown my issues onto Ruff and I needed to own up to it.

We sat in silence for a while, each of us processing what had happened. I really wanted to know what he thought about it. An outsider's opinion could help rebuild my friendship with Ruff, although that might not apply here since Ruff probably hated Hiccup.

Would Ruff hate Hiccup? He may have been the catalyst, but would she recognize that I was the source of the broken friendship?

"I don't think it's completely weird that you considered me a better friend than Ruffnut." Hiccup was the first to break radio silence. "I'll admit it made me a little uncomfortable, but it makes sense. I've been staying with you for a few days, and in that time I've only heard you talk about one other person."

"I sound so pitiful when you put it that way." Hiccup let out a little laugh.

"It sounds that way no matter how you put it." He was right. I was pitiful. Strangely, I didn't feel any worse. In fact, I was starting to feel slightly better.

I wasn't supposed to feel better. I was supposed to feel terrible. I was supposed to be beating myself unconscious. Maybe I was starting to accept the consequences of my actions; wasn't that one of the steps on the road to recovery?

I got up and walked to my mirror. My eyes were bloodshot red. It looked like something had scratched my eyes. My hair was a certified rat's nest. I'd tried to pull my hair out multiple times through the night.

I looked like a mess. I smelled like one too.

"If you leave the hallway and promise not to look at my horrible appearance, I will go take a shower." Hiccup sighed in relief. I'd given him a small victory, but he'd worked hard in fixing me. It was almost ironic that the catalyst for all the pain I was feeling was also the one that was making me feel better.

As soon as Hiccups footsteps faded down the hall, I poked my head out the door. Satisfied that he was going to keep his word, I dashed across the hall into the bathroom.

The cold water cleared helped clear my head. I may never become Ruffs best friend, but I'd be damned if I didn't try. At the least, I would be someone she didn't hate. I could live with that.

I slowly dried myself and took a glance in the mirror. My eyes were still puffy, but the rest of me looked better. I put on some sweatpants and a sweater, it was definitely that kind of day, and walked out of the bathroom.

I could go back into my room; hide from the world for a little bit longer. Or, I could go into the living room and start fixing my mistakes.

I sighed in resignation and started walking down the hall. Hiccup was at the couch reading the same book as last time. He didn't look up when I walked in, but I could see the smile on his lips and I knew I'd made the right decision in his eyes.

I could feel another breakdown around the corner; I had tears threatening to form. And then Hiccup goes into the kitchen and brings out a plate.

"Here, I made you breakfast." There were scrambled eggs with cheese on top and toast. He must've made it when I was in the shower.

I tried to say thank you, but the only thing that came out were unintelligible mumbles. He knew I was extremely upset and went out of his way to help. No, he didn't go and fix my relationship problems or anything. In fact, in the grand scheme of things, making breakfast is a very small moment.

But that's exactly why it meant so much to me. Being a good friend wasn't just about the big things, it was about all of the little details too. Like how Ruff new my work schedule, or made sure I didn't stay in my apartment all the time.

"Alright, I'm headed to Ruffs to beg for forgiveness." I thought it'd be best to start trying to fix everything as soon as possible, but Hiccups smile quickly fell off his face and he rose to his feet.

"What? You think that's the smartest idea?" An ugly feeling started to force its way in my stomach. I didn't like being criticized.

"Well… yes? Why wouldn't it be?" I huffed in indignation.

"I mean, this all happened yesterday. Shouldn't you give her a little bit of time?" Give her time? What if Ruff decided that she would be better off without me? If I got to her soon, then maybe I could convince her otherwise. "I'm sure she has a lot on her mind, rushing in and trying to convince her to come to a certain conclusion that benefits you is a little selfish and is exactly the reason you got in this mess in the first place."

Hiccup meant well

"Now, instead of just rushing in and win," Hiccup said, "let's come up with some sort of plan. How exactly do you plan on making things better?"

"Well I'm gonna go there and tell her I'm sorry."

"And…" Hiccup gave a little circular gesture, motioning for me to go on.

"I was planning on seeing what happens from there." I crossed my arms. So what if I didn't have a real plan?

"You're too headstrong, Astrid. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice quality. But you need to rein it in and really think things through. You may only have one shot."

"That's a little harsh, you don't know Ruff. What makes you so sure about all this? What gives you the right to tell me how to handle my relationships?"

"Because you're doing a bang-up job all by yourself." Hiccup quipped. "Look, I'm trying to help you here, Astrid. I'm not perfect like you're pretending to be, which is exactly why you're in this mess in the first place. I've had my fair share of fights and break ups. I'm just trying to help you, but it looks like you won't listen!"

"I am listening, but I know Ruff! I'm trying to make things right! I want to fix things – why won't you let me do what I think is right?"

"I don't even know why I'm bothering." Hiccup sighed in defeat. his voice was laced with resignation. I really wanted to listen to him, but I couldn't just lose her.

I was going to fix my relationship with Ruff. It was as simple as that.

AN: Hey guys! I may not be happy with this chapter, but I am happy that it's being updated on time. I guess I would call this a filler chapter, but I didn't want Astrid to get right back in the saddle. Also, I really don't have a plot line for this. All I have planned is the ending and I'm just trying to get there in a way that makes at least a little bit of sense. Also, it's a little insane how this chapter is already over half as long as my first story, at five chapters!

On a different note, Astrid blew off Hiccups help while refusing to give Ruff any time… wonder how this will work out…

Let me know what you guys thought, and as always,

See you guys next week!

(I just went back and added eight words to help set things up for a big plot point, I'd be really impressed if anyone could figure out what sentence was added in the ten minutes since the original upload.)