I was as light as a feather the next morning. Ruff and I were on the path to becoming friends again, I'd reunited Hiccup with an old friend, and then Hiccup and I spent the rest of the night on the couch with our hot chocolate. We talked and talked for hours. And when we ran out of things to talk about, we just sat there, enjoying each other's company.
And when we were done enjoying each other's company and a late night became an early morning, we fell asleep on the couch together. His feet were by my head and vice versa. We shared a light throw blanket. The thought of going to our beds to sleep never crossed my mind; I was content on that couch, and Hiccup was warm. Hiccup was warm and solid. His body was there next to mine and I could feel his presence next to me. And we slept.
In the morning, we woke up and went around are business. He seemed a little embarrassed, but I was feeling untouchable. So much had been at stake yesterday and it couldn't have gone any better. I made scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon while he was in the shower. We talked while we ate. Not of the night before, but of the day ahead. Hiccup was going to start working at the grocery store today and wanted to stop by the hospital to visit his mom before clocking in. I wanted to go with him, but I had to work as well and my shift started soon. I was also getting my haircut and picking up some fresh bread to go with dinner after work so I told him he should just go and tell Val that I was sorry and that I would definitely be there next time.
Hiccup left after the dishes were cleaned and put away. The apartment seemed a little less dull, a little less alive after he closed the door behind him. The apartment had never felt this way before. I left early for work.
Booker was there to greet me with a giant smile that brought the restaurant to life. His smile was a lighthouse shining across the dead sea. "Astrid! I don't know what's gotten into you, showing up for work early twice in a few days. Usually I have the exact opposite problems with kids your age!" I smiled as Books laughed at his own joke because he lit up the restaurant. The soundwaves of his thrumming laughter bounced off the walls, bursting with energy.
"What can I say? I'd rather be making money than losing it," It wasn't exactly true, but it was easier than trying to say how I wanted to be in this atmosphere were people were. I wanted to be in a place that was teeming with aliveness.
"Ain't that the truth. Ha!" Books gave another chuckle before retreating back into the kitchen to help the other cooks prepare for the midday rush. He needed everything to be just right in the kitchen to not drown in the flood of orders.
Work went by really fast, time flies when you're having fun or something like that. Books, as usual, was able to pump out the orders and no one had to wait very long for their meal. The man was a natural.
After my shift ended, I gave Books a quick hug and went for that haircut. There was a great, and by great I mean cheap, place just a few blocks away. It wasn't a salon where they gave you a massage or a manicure while they washed your hair. They did the minimum and it cost the minimum.
The haircut went fine. I kept my golden bangs choppy so that they fell in front of my face if I wasn't paying attention to them. It could get frustrating, but my mom used to cut my hair when we were younger and that's how she cut my hair. Every time I blew my bangs out of my eyes, I thought of her and smiled.
I also got my ends trimmed back an inch or two (I said an inch but it felt like the stylist took two) to get rid of the split ends.
I stopped by the bakery on the way back to the apartment. It was a small, locally owned bakery that took pride in making everything the morning of with ingredients so fresh that even I could tell the difference between it and the stuff they sell at the bigger grocery stores. Sometimes I would stop by because the entire shop smelled like freshly baked bread.
Hazel, the owner, was behind the counter when I walked in. Her olive skin glistened with a thin coat of sweat and her curly hair was up in a ponytail; she must've just finished preparing a batch of bread. She looked up when the little bell by the door chimed softly.
"Astrid, it's so good to see you." Everyone who knew Hazel said that she had the warmest smile. It was the epitome of kindness. She could brighten anyone's day, no matter how miserable, with a single flash of her teeth.
"I'm doing great," I gave her a smile of my own before looking at the wide selection of baked goods. There were too many choices. There were the rectangular loafs of bread and the more rounded ones. Some were as small as the size of your fist and some could feed a family of four for a few days. "What should I get?"
Hazel hummed softly to herself before going over three different loafs of bread. I ended up getting a freshly baked garlic-sourdough bread with parmesan cheese sprinkled on top. She said it was one of her personal favorites and if that wasn't enough to convince me, the heavenly aroma surrounding it certainly did.
She rung it up for me and I made sure to leave her as big a tip as I could. The place was a certified whole-in-the wall, and there was no way I was letting it get shut down.
"Have a great day!" Hazel said as I walked out the door. I told her to do the same before the door closed behind me. I was still untouchable. The wind fluttered through my hair and it was making it messy, but it didn't matter.
I floated into the apartment and immediately the bubble popped. Something was wrong. Hiccup was home and that was great, but it was wrong. Maybe it was the way his shoulders drooped, or how he didn't greet me when I walked in like he always does.
He was just sitting on the couch with his head down, staring at his hands. Hiccup was sad, and suddenly everything was sad. I put down the bread on the counter and sat down next to him. The bread, which I'd been so excited for just a few moments ago, was nothing more than an afterthought now. I put my hand on his shoulder and slid into a hug.
We didn't talk for a few moments; I was letting him make the first move. For the moment, I was there to lend my support. Finally, he lifted up his head and looked at me.
"I don't want to work there anymore." His tone was so defeated that it nearly broke my heart. He sounded like an abused puppy.
"Oh Hiccup," I muttered softly. "What happened?" I ran my hands through his hair, like my mom used to do to me after a bad day at school.
"First off, the general manager is a total jerk. He asked me to confirm my address and I couldn't remember yours off the top of my head. He asked why I was I having trouble, and I decided that honesty was the best policy. I told him how I'd been homeless and was currently staying at a friend's house until I could get back on my feet.
"And he laughed at me, like those cold nights were a joke. Like I hadn't felt hunger so ravenous that I had to resort to begging on occasions," Hiccup spat, face red with humility. "Every day I prayed that I wouldn't run into anyone that knew me. It was one of the worst few days of my life. It was dehumanizing. And he laughed."
"What kind of man could laugh at something like that?" I was stunned. How could someone be so cruel? To treat an employee that way. Hiccup was helping that creature earn money. "You need to leave. Immediately."
"I should – and I wish I could – but I can't. My mom was so happy that I had found a job and that I was getting back on my feet. She hadn't looked so… so alive since she met you. How could I look her in the eye and tell here that I quit just because of some bully? That would break her heart." Hiccup let out a groan of frustration and put his head in his hands.
"Hiccup, look at me." His glassy eyes stared into mine and I tried to soak my words with conviction. "I am positive that your mom would much rather you be jobless than work for that man. You need to quit, and we can start looking at other jobs. I'm sure that there are many places that would be more than happy to hire you."
"No, I have to keep working there." Hiccups voice was getting stronger and stronger. He was trying to convince himself that this was a good idea! "I may have exaggerated how he reacted; he isn't that bad of a person."
"What are you thinking?" I hissed. "Hiccup, get out of there. Don't be an idiot!"
"I can handle him. We need the money and it would be stupid for me to just quit without at least having a backup job already in place. Besides, I hate being your charity case." What?
"Is that what you think of this? That I'm taking care of you like someone would a dog they found on the side of the road?" I shook my head in disbelief. This was ridiculous! "You are so much more than that, Hiccup. You saved my life, and in return you've become an amazing friend. I won't let you belittle yourself that way."
"Then let me keep the job so I can help pay rent. Let me be able to contribute" His tone was a glass canon; persuasive, but if I kept pushing, I felt that he would crack.
"Hiccup, you're torturing yourself if you stay there."
"And I'm torturing everyone else if I leave."
"What are you afraid of, Hiccup? What are you avoiding?" I stared him down. I wasn't going to let this go without a real explanation. I watched in slight satisfaction as the excuses died in his mouth. He couldn't come up with anything that made sense. Finally, he settled.
"Why do you think that Finnian and I stopped being friends?" I was hesitant to let him change the subject; I didn't want him getting out of the whole he'd dug himself into. But, if this was his way of explaining things, I had to let him get it off of his chest.
"Because you stole his girl without his permission?"
"No – well yes I did do that – but that was the effect, not the cause." Hiccup sighed, taking a deep breath before continuing. "The cause was my hate for confrontations. My dad was a very… honest man. We used to argue day and night. Countless tears were shed over the littlest things; we were both just too stubborn for own good. I loved that man, and he did his best to be a great father, but there are times when I wished he wasn't my father. And I'm sure there are times when he wished that I wasn't his son."
Hiccup quietly wiped a tear away and I pretended not to notice.
"Well after he passed away, I decided that I hated arguments and confrontations. No one wins. I don't mind it when both sides are having fun, but when things get serious, all I can see is his look of disappointment. I couldn't tell Fishlegs that the girl he liked had asked me out because I couldn't see the heartbreak on his face. And I couldn't deal with the fight that would happen after it. I could hear every word he would say; countless imaginary arguments in my head to rationalize avoiding the one in real life.
"And so, I'm faced with similar circumstances. I can run away and avoid the hard road, or I can do what is necessary and bite the bullet. Money is money and until there is another job that accepts me, I need to continue working at that hellhole. I'm sick and tired of running away from my problems."
I wanted to tell him to stop being stupid, but I couldn't. I saw the logic, as twisted as it was, in his words. And we did need money, I could only support two people for so long on my measly paychecks for so long.
I hated it. I hated Hiccup being forced to work in an unhealthy work environment. I hated that I needed to let him make his own decisions. I hated all of it.
And yet I had to let him do it. He was more than capable to make his own decisions, and I didn't have too much say over his life anyways. He may be living with me, but I wasn't his mom.
"Fine." I conceded. "But don't think for one second that I'm okay with this. You don't belong there and the second you find another job opening you are quitting."
Hiccup let out a small sigh in relief. It was ironic how he would fight with me just so that he wouldn't have to fight someone else.
"Thank you."
It didn't feel like I deserved to be thanked.
I huddled around my phone late at night, encased in my fluffy blanket. I was texting Ruff to see if see had any other places that Hiccup could work at. She'd apologized profusely when she found out how what happened. She knew he was a jerk, but he also the best out of the options she could find on such short notice. She promised me that she'd ask around to see if anyone else was hiring.
I asked her how her and Finnian were getting along and she said that she was really happy. They spent most nights together now, although they were apparently going really slow on the more intimate parts of being in a relationship. It was mildly surprising because Ruff has gotten laid on the first date before and hooked up with strangers at bars, but Finnian was different. Finnian made Ruff different, or maybe he allowed her to be herself.
Ruff had done all of those men as a form of stress relief. Finnian was a giant teddy bear that Ruff could verbally vent to. According to her, one time he'd made popcorn and tea (a weird combination, but I wasn't judging) and listened as she told him her entire life story. Ruff hadn't been this happy in years.
Dinner had been quieter than usual. I barely said a word to Hiccup, and he talked even less. He did comment on the bread, though. It was incredible; very light and fluffy. After dinner, we retreated to our own rooms for the night. And by that I meant I went to my bedroom. Hiccup still slept on the couch by the tv. We both had a lot on our minds and I thought it would be best to give him space so that he could sort things out in his head in private.
I rolled over because my neck was starting to feel sore at being at an unnatural angle. Why did adulting have to be so difficult? Hiccup didn't like who he was working with. In school, all you had to do was tell your teacher and you were swiftly added to a different group. Who could Hiccup tell? He was stuck in between a rock and a hard place.
I wasn't in a much better position either. I was just treading water at the moment. I had my English degree, but I wasn't using it. Much like how Hiccup wasn't using his degrees either. I had gotten jobs to pay off my previous loans, but I had been forced to pick between them and Hiccup. While it was no contest, I'd lost a few nights sleep over it.
Would I ever actually become a lawyer? Or was I doomed to work in the food industry while my degree gathered cobwebs.
I glanced at the list of law schools I wanted to apply to. The longer I waited, the more my skills would deteriorate. If I didn't apply soon, I wouldn't be able to get in. But if I applied, then I would leave Hiccup to fend for himself until his mother got out of the hospital so he wouldn't have to worry about those hospital bills.
Well, even if I sent my application now, I wouldn't have to leave for several months. And I would have to take the stupid LSAT! How could I forget about that? That was the most important part of getting into Law School and I hadn't studied since I met Hiccup. That was unacceptable.
Law School was the dream; I had to get in. I wanted to help people. While there was a valid argument that the side jobs I was currently working helped people too, it wasn't to the same caliber. And I wasn't degrading people that did that for a living, we needed them and they were definitely appreciated. It just wasn't my calling.
A quick google search found me a schedule that would help me review everything that would be on the test in a matter of weeks. If I took the test early next year, I could still apply for the next fall semester.
I still had to deal with my loans from undergrad. I'm sure my family was willing to help, they'd offered before, but I'd always wanted to do this all on my own. I wanted to leave no doubt that I had worked my ass off to be a lawyer.
There wasn't enough time to do it on my own, though. If I wanted enough time to study properly, I couldn't pick up another job. Either I asked my parents for help, or I would risk failing that LSAT.
That settled it, I would call my dad tomorrow. I may not like losing the battle, but winning the war was more important. I really hoped Hiccup would be okay with me going for law school. I didn't want him to feel like I was choosing some job over him.
Wait, why should I care what Hiccup cares about this? He didn't have any right to judge me for trying to get into law school. It wasn't just some job, it was my dream job. I wasn't even sure how long we would be living together? Would he leave once he could afford to live on his own? Did I want him to? He was a lot of fun to be around and was super kind. He made my apartment come alive in a way it never had when I was alone. He knew when to make me smile, and when it was okay to be sad and grieve.
It was too late for this deep thinking. I plugged my phone in and went to sleep; these dilemmas would still be here in the morning.
AN: Hey guys! Another week, another chapter (It passed the wordcount of my other story! Super proud of myself). I hope you guys liked it. I know I only briefly mentioned what Hiccup and Astrid majored in all the way back in chapter two, but I wanted to bring it back in and develop it a bit further. That's the problem with updating as you go and improvising the whole story, you never really know how you want things to end up.
Does the Finnian/Fishlegs thing confuse anyone? Astrid calls him Finnian because she wasn't there when the fishlegs incident happened like Hiccup was, and that's why he calls him Fishlegs. I'll probably have the name rub off onto Astrid and Ruff as the story goes on, but not until they all get to know each other a little bit better.
So, since no one reviewed saying they didn't like my longer authors note last chapter where I gave some insight about how I go about writing, I've decided to continue it. It may not be every chapter, but I liked sharing and being open about things I've learned about writing. It also makes me feel a little more intimate with you guys and that's a big plus to me. So without further ado:
I realized just how much what book I'm reading affects my writing style. Earlier this week, I was reading "The Island," by Gary Paulsen. It's a slower paced book that repeats a lot to bring emphasis into what he's trying to get across to the reader. The opening segment of this chapter is very different than what I've written previously and it reminds of that book. I finished it and started another book and so my writing style shifted again throughout the chapter. I wonder if how my writing would shift if I read a classical book, such as Pride and Prejudice or A Tale of Two Cities? These fanfictions are all about experimenting and trying to become a stronger writer, so I probably will just to see what happens and how it affects me.
I've also figured out what seems… off about most fanfics. Most characters feel flat and underdeveloped, and that's because they are. And I'm not trying to be mean to anyone at all, I love that people are creating fanfictions and telling stories. It's amazing and they've helped build amazing communities. I just want to see how they differ from books that are on sale at Barnes and Noble or Books-A-Million, and to me it's the amount of planning that goes into a story. I'm following this guide on how to build a proper story as I plan out my next fanfic, and it's crazy how much detail people put into the story before actually writing it. As I've said before, I have planned very, very little of this story out. As a result, I fumble around a lot (especially on personalities).
One reason people may not plan their stories to such a high degree, besides the huge amount of time and energy it requires, is that most characters they use are already developed. For instance, someone told me that I wasn't portraying Ruff correctly. They were absolutely correct and I'm glad they said something. It showed that I didn't know the characters I'm using inside and out. I'm just borrowing them and that can lead to difficulties when I'm throwing them into situations that the original character has never faced.
Once again, I'm not trying to be mean to anyone who writes fanfiction. There are definitely stories out there that are beautifully crafted and are works of art. Much better than what I'm writing. But in general, it's something that I've noticed and that is one reason why it may be the case (another reason could be uploading chapters as they're written).
I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings, that really wasn't the intention if I did. This little AN turned into something much longer than I'd originally planned for.
I'll see y'all next week!
Oh! If any of you are really really bored and wants to make some sort of cover for any of my stories, please PM me! It doesn't have to be fancy or anything, but it'll go on both and Wattpad!