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"My father brought us here as boys."

It had taken them half an hour of climbing up the mountain side, to reach the special place Dracula had wanted to show her. At first, when Agatha suggested going somewhere special to talk things through, Dracula had come up short. It had been so long since he had truly lived here, even longer than the time he had been physically absent, as before Agatha had come into his life, and returned him to the sunlight, Dracula struggled to call what he was doing anything close to 'living'. Still as they wound their way out of the town, and began to climb up the mountain, Dracula had had an idea, and that idea meant they had to park the jeep in a layby and finish the rest of the climb on foot.

"It's…it's incredible."

Turning around to smile at Agatha, Dracula savoured the ability to watch her openly, to drink in her pleasure and fear no shame, or reprisals.

"After he became Voivode of Wallacia my father brought me and my eldest brother up here. He made us climb the way ourselves and when we got to the top, he showed us that our lands reached even further than we could see, that everything to the horizon was now under his duty of care. He made us swear on our honour, that if the responsibility should one day fall on our shoulders to rule, that we would protect these lands with our very lives if needed."

Moving to tuck herself in against his side, Agatha smiled at the thought of a young Vlad scampering up these slopes, trailing in the wake of the father and brother, he both adored and resented.

"Were you a dutiful son, did you keep your promise?"

"To the best of my ability, my struggles are part of history, and best left there I think." Dracula sighed, pushing away the evocative memories of his past.

"I brought you here because unlike any other place I know, this place holds only precious memories for me. I have never shown it to another soul, I didn't even bring my own sons here, although I meant to from time to time, but there never seemed to be the right moment…" Dracula trailed off, the thoughts of his dead son's still pained him.

"Thank you for sharing it with me." Agatha could feel her throat closing up, as she fought against tears. "I only wish I had such a place to show you, but I'm afraid my childhood home is long since demolished, to make way for something new. Such is the price of growing up in a city I think."

"I didn't know that?" Dracula was almost surprised by the revelation, his brow puckering. "How can I not know that?"

"You cannot know everything about everyone you feed off of surely?" Agatha teased him. "Imagine the inane minutia you would have to file away. Did you think I gained my broad education whilst buried away in some little village?"

"I…I honestly hadn't thought about it. I suppose I should have, but other than what you have told me about your family, I suppose I always think of you as you are now, my very own Aphrodite sprung fully formed from the sea."

"Now who is stretching a metaphor?" Agatha scoffed, yet she was secretly pleased by his flattery. "I was raised in Dordrecht, the eldest daughter of an educated second son of a wealthy trader, who did not enjoy his father or elder's brother's skill with money. The only thing my father didn't sell to satisfy his need to drink or gamble was his precious books, something I was very grateful for. Before mother died, he would even tutor me, we were very close before…"

Tightening his grip on her, Dracula pressed a kiss to her crown. "I am sorry you had a difficult childhood, it is something I can empathise with." He added, as if that wasn't the understatement of the year, which they both knew it to be.

"I only mention it because it formed who I am now, after my mother's death, I learnt quickly to keep my problems to myself, to rely on my own judgement and not others. It is a habit that has served me well all my life…until now." Agatha confessed with a sigh, tilting her head up to meet his gaze.

"What I am trying and failing to admit, is that I struggle to trust anyone to be there for me. I had to rely on my own judgement from the age of twelve, because there was no one else who cared enough to help me, but I don't have to now. Then I had to make decisions about my future alone and put myself first, before I considered the needs of others, because nobody else would ever even consider what I needed. I am too used to having my voice, and opinion, be the only one that matter to me, it is a hard habit to break, but I want to try."

Staring down at her, Dracula could only see honesty and courage in Agatha's gaze. She meant every word she was saying, even if the prospect of actually doing it clearly terrified her.

"I'm listening, whatever you want to tell me or ask me, I promise I will always listen and give you the advice I think best. I cannot promise that I will be completely unbiased, but I will be honest about it." Dracula replied finally, having paused for a good few moments to carefully consider his words.

"Ok." Agatha could accept that.

"Ok?" Dracula prompted with a small smile, it was as close as he would get to telling her to get on with it, to just bite the bullet and say whatever it was that was weighing on her mind.

"Honestly I am not sure quite where to start." Agatha admitted quietly. "I suppose I could start with the easiest things and work up to the big things."

"However you like." That was as close as Dracula was going to get to giving an opinion until Agatha actually started lowering those fortress walls of hers and confiding in him.

"I…I really don't like having to teach the others." Agatha started, and like confession, once the first few words were out, it was like a dam had been burst.

"I never wanted to be a teacher, for heaven's sake I even chose to be a nun instead. I have always struggled to manage with those who were never as quick as me, I have very little patience." She added.

"When we get back to England, I want you to find a way for me to stop teaching, and to find a way for me to get back into my studies, even if I never join the scholars…" She paused, her gaze flicking up to Dracula's face, watching as he tensed at this new direction. "And I won't be joining them, we both know that, even if I have been too stubborn to accept it until now. If it came down to choosing between them, and you, then I would always choose you; I was a fool to ever think I could choose differently."

Releasing a breath Dracula didn't even realise he had been holding, he felt a part of himself unwind at that revelation. It had always been there, nagging away, even if he didn't acknowledge it, the knowledge of his promise to let her dedicate her life to that reclusive cult of vampires if she chose it. To have it confirmed that Agatha would not abandon him for that life, even if the fear of it had been growing more remote by the day, well it still helped Dracula to feel more comfortable about their future.

"So, what do you want to do?" Dracula prompted. "Whatever I can do to help you, Agatha you know I will."

"I am not sure yet, perhaps I could research our clan's history first, pull the first archive together? I like puzzles and studying for information, piecing them together. As long as you don't mind being dragged along with me when I go hunting for information?"

"As long as you want me with you?" Dracula insisted. "I will be there, feel free to drag me all over the world if you like."

"You say this now…"

Placing his finger over her lips, Dracula fixed Agatha with one of his most serious gazes, he had given his word, that should be enough for her. He did not break his word.

"Thank you." Agatha muttered under his fingers, softening his expression by pressing a kiss to them.

For a while they simply sat there, the atmosphere considerably easier between them, simply looking up at the stars.

"So that was the easy thing." Dracula prompted, barely able to resist the urge to chuckle. Agatha's easy thing had all but changed the direction of both their lives for the foreseeable future, he was almost intrigued to find out what havoc to his life her difficult topics would wreck.

"I…I think we should talk about earlier."

"Ah." That topic, if there was a wrecking ball of a subject this was it. Even though Agatha had apologised for her earlier outburst, Dracula wasn't sure she or they were really ready to rehash it all just yet.

"I don't want to let it fester, and I think if I explain it, or at least try to…well you might be the only person who won't judge me for it." Agatha's eyes fell closed as she came close to confessing, what she felt to be a terrible truth.

"Why would I or anyone judge you?" Dracula couldn't help it the question was tripping off his tongue.

"Because…because even though I was shocked by what I did, and I wanted to believe I never had it in me to kill that child, and even though I tell myself it was an accident, it wasn't really. I reacted the way I did, because deep down that is who I am, who I could be if I let myself, and although it was the first time, I crossed that line, it wasn't the first time I was tempted to."

Agatha shivered as she remembered, earlier in the pharmacy, her heated encounter with Anderson back at headquarters, even the flashes of murderous rage that thoughts that Baron de Rais or on occasion Renfield provoked in her.

"I am a killer, I was from the moment I was turned, and I have been living in a naive fantasy world thinking I could somehow straddle the line between vampire and mortal. I disdained those of my own kind who struggle to adapt the new world, who didn't want to give up centuries of natural feeding habits, to adapt the new no harm approach. I looked down on them as being backward and barbaric, they were monsters and I held myself above them."

"Agatha…" Dracula tried to cut in gently, only for Agatha to continue on, working herself up in way that wasn't necessary.

"No, you were right, it is time I accepted who and what I am…"

"Agatha!" This time Dracula snapped, cutting her off before things could deteriorate further. "My darling will you please stop torturing yourself about this, you are not a killer, you have killed but that does not make you a killer. You reacted to save yourself, that is self-defence, and yes someone got staked, and your lack of guilt over that fact, is not proof you are the very monster you seem afraid of."

"But…but you said…"

"I said the exact opposite Agatha." Dracula sighed, reaching up to cup her face and force her to meet his gaze. "Now listen to me very carefully, from someone who is a cold-blooded killer and does not regret that fact like he should. You are a good person Agatha Van Helsing, those feelings you describe are very normal, the difference between you and killer, is that a killer would act on those feelings and not even care."

Lifting his eyebrows Dracula stared down into Agatha's upturned face, as if daring her to argue back.

"It's ok not to feel guilty?"

"Yes, my darling it is ok, just try not to make a habit of it?" Dracula teased, trying to lift the tone with a wry smile, which fortunately Agatha returned.

"And you are alright with me staying a bleeding-heart, naïve fool?"

"Oh, so you were listening to some of it?" Dracula snorted, of course that would be the part she remembered. "Yes, in fact I would prefer it. You balance me out, you keep me wanting to do better, to be better than the beast I allowed myself to become. You remind what it was to be a man and to want things other than to slake my thirst."

"A family?" Agatha couldn't help it, it was like prodding a barely scabbed wound, just to see if it still hurt.

Forcing himself to remain unaffected Dracula feigned nonchalance. "There are other things of importance. Love for instance." He added feeling on more steady ground here, this time his smile wasn't forced. "Learning and exploring, building something for the future, instead of dwelling in the past. There are many things you have given me Agatha, more than I could ever have deserved, to ask for any more would seem rather churlish."

Yet in that moment Agatha knew the truth, there was nothing in this world that was going to make Dracula happy in the way having a family with her would, and although the idea still terrified her, the idea of losing him because of it terrified her more. Or worse having him stay by her side for eternity knowing that she had denied him the one thing he wanted, when he had denied her nothing. The nun's words echoed back to her then, she was only going to be happy if she was giving back.

"The heart wants what the heart wants…or else it does not care."

Dropping his hands, Dracula suddenly couldn't bear to look at her, to see that pity reflected back at him, as Agatha reached into his chest and twisted at his heart.

"Why would you say that…why would you bring this up?" Dracula demanded, turning and pacing away, staring out at the distant lights down in the valley, trying to find them soothing, anything to calm the sudden pain and rage in his chest.

"Because I've been thinking about it. About how selfish I have been towards you. Everything has been about what I want from this relationship. The pace I want to travel at, how I want to spend our lives, and every time you've capitulated and given me what I asked for, like…like you owe me for loving you, or you need to compensate me in some way."

"Agatha…"

"No let me finish, this is the hardest thing to talk about, but we might as well get it all out on the table. You don't owe me for ending my life, I don't need compensating for loving you, I just need you and your love that is all. If you want to buy me nice things because you like seeing me in them, or take me places you think I will like, then that is fine. But you have to stop pretending to be happy about decisions I make for the both of us. I need to give too for this to work, I need to…Don't you understand its core to who I am, it always was. I became a nun because was too afraid to choose any other path, but I still needed to give."

Dracula was now more confused than ever, turning back he scrutinised Agatha's resolute expression. "I don't understand what you are telling me Agatha, what do you want from me?"

"I want you to be honest with me about what will make you happy, about you want to do with our life together. It's ok if you don't know right now, but I want to know what I can do that will make you happiest, because we both have to give to make this work, it can't be all you giving, and me taking, because I just can't live like that. I need to feel we are equal partners in this."

If that was meant to help provide him answers, all Dracula was left with was more questions. It was like Agatha was still dancing around the subject, and never quite just coming out and saying it. Just being with her made him happy, and the other things he wanted were quite simple, he wanted to be married, to have that solid foundation that couldn't be challenged, and he wanted their children. Yet Agatha had already turned both of those ideas down. Did she mean for him to find something else to fill that gap, because Dracula knew from his mortal life that for him no 'job' ever could or was she…could she be…no the prospect was to cruel to even consider.

"You know what would make me happiest Agatha, you told me that was never going to happen for us, and I have done my best to make peace with that."

"How's that going for you?"

Hissing, his fangs on display as Agatha baited him, much like she once did at those convent gates, Dracula barely stifled the urge to scream at her, to take her by the shoulders and shake her like a rag doll, to demand what she was doing, why she was deliberately provoking him like this.

"At least you are finally being honest with me." Agatha added, stepping closer, right up into the face of the beast she remembered. "You want a child with me, more than anything else in the world, don't you?"

"Yes." Dracula managed to grunt, his nose flaring as he took in her scent and her closeness and fought with the beast in his breast that told him to throw her down on the hill side and take her now, she was fertile, she could conceive tonight. Yet he couldn't do it, not to Agatha, he couldn't force himself, or his child on her, when that was the last thing she would want…he loved her too much for that.

Girding her courage, knowing that there was no turning back now, Agatha reached up and stroked the monsters face, smiling up at him to hide her nervousness. "Then alright, you can have one."

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