A/N: May I take the opportunity to thank you for reading this, and also, perhaps take a moment to get a tissue.
Chapter Eleven
It was well after midnight and Lily paced around the front room of Downton Abbey. She was feeling especially uncomfortable not just physically, but emotionally as well. Her heart ached for the Crawley family, who was her own family now, and waited to hear something of what was transpiring upstairs.
She heard the door open to the room and she pulled the shawl around her shoulders a little tighter as she watched her husband enter quietly.
He looked exhausted, and stressed, as the lamplight hit his face when he neared her. Her heartstrings tugged when he gave her a small weary smile. He hugged her gently and placed his hand on her distended stomach.
"How is the baby tonight?" His hand moved from her belly to take her own hand and they just stood in the dim room.
"Feel here..." She guided his hand to a certain spot near her ribs. "I think it's an elbow. Or a knee, and it's been digging into my ribs all evening."
Tom smiled as he felt what she was she was talking about. He leaned close to give her a gentle kiss on the cheek.
"How is Jack?" Tom enquired of their son.
"He's finally sound asleep in one of the rooms upstairs. He's very concerned about his Donk." Lily squeezed her husband's hand.
"We all are. Trust me." Tom grimaced, and rubbed his temple carefully.
"Is there any change?" Lily asked carefully.
"No. Nothing. But we finally managed to get Lady Grantham to lay down. She is beside herself with worry. And she refuses to believe the news about George..." Tom choked on the name as he spoke.
Lily took both of his hands and let him lean his face into her shoulder. No one wanted to believe the news, everyone who knew him had a special affection for the young heir to the estate. Tom was particularly close to his nephew, and Lily could not help but remember the young man had been Tom's best man at their wedding. Many hearts would be broken when the news was confirmed. Her own included.
"What about Sybbie? I haven't seen her all evening. How is she faring?" Lily gently rubbed her husband's back as he had made no move from her shoulder.
He finally stood up straight and took a deep breath.
"She's been sent to bed as well. I don't think she'll sleep at all, but she needs some rest. James and George should arrive home tomorrow. Mary is on her way here as well, and word had been sent to Edith but I don't think she'll be able to travel out of Italy any time soon. I just hope she receives the message we sent."
"All we can do is wait. And pray." Lily lead her husband to the sofa and encouraged him to sit down. He was literally starting to waver on his feet. She sat down beside him and they leaned against each other.
A disturbance behind them made Lily turn around and Tom shifted to lean over with his head in his hands. Anna smiled gently at her as she placed a tray on the end table quietly. There was some hot tea and a few things to eat and Lily smiled gratefully.
"Any word?" Lily mouthed the words to Anna and the long-time servant of the great house shook her head.
Anna gave a careful smile and turned to leave the room to leave the two of them in peace. Lily struggled to get up for a cup of the hot beverage but she struggled and Tom placed his hand on her knee.
"I'll get it." He smiled warmly at her despite everything. "You need to rest too. I fear it's going to be long few days ahead of us."
"I fear the same."
Downstairs, Anna sent the remaining staff to their beds. Many of them were trying to stay awake to be the first to know of any news that came from upstairs, but the head of them all knew they would be needed to perform their duties as required the following day. The service staff being out of their heads with fatigue would not be of any help to anybody. She heard the familiar limping gate and cane tapping of her husband coming down the hallway and she finally lost some of her brave demeanour at what was going on. He sat down beside her at the table and held her hand without saying a word. She was grateful for his silent support.
Daisy came into the staff dining hall quietly and set a tray down on the table. The teapot was steaming and Anna smiled thankfully at the head cook as she sat down as well. Barrow came into the room shortly after, sat down at the table and lit up a cigarette. They all knew how worried he must be, they had not seen him smoke in years. No one said a word as they all sat a vigil for the family they had served for so many years. So much they had all been through together.
A blonde head poked her way into the room and the youngest daughter of Bates and Anna crawled into her father's lap and lay her head against his chest, though she was starting to get too old for such actions, her mother did not stop her. Anna reached over to adjust the sewn up arm of the dressing gown where her daughter's missing arm would have been. The young girl had adapted to her disability better than any of them had expected, but in her father she had a great role model. Anna smiled to watch the two of them now. A few minutes later another blonde head appeared in the doorway. Anna smiled at her oldest daughter and gestured her in. She was glad the girls had decided to spend the night in the big house. She knew she and Bates would feel better knowing they were close. Also, Anna anticipated being needed at the house for all hours over the next few days. Particularly if the body that was being sent actually belonged to George. There would be many mourners coming to pay their respects if that was the case.
The bell to Lord Grantham's room rang then and Anna jumped up to answer it. She glanced quickly at the clock to see it was barely past three a.m. and she gave her husband a look that could not be interpreted by the rest of those sitting there. She disappeared up the stairs as Bates told his daughters they should really be in their beds. It was too late for them to be awake.
Tom and Lily came into the room where they noticed that Cora was already sitting beside her husband. He was propped up in the bed and Tom was thrilled to realize that the old man was awake. One eye was open and Tom noticed then that one side of his face was drooping, obvious evidence of the brain trauma Robert had suffered.
Robert beckoned for Tom and Lily to come closer with his one good arm, the other lay limp against his side. Cora held the limp hand with an unspoken prayer that the lame fingers would squeeze hers back. They did not though.
Lord Grantham tried to speak but his words were slurred and unintelligible. Cora seemed to know what he was saying though and listened to him carefully. She leaned over to kiss him gently on the cheek and half a smile appeared on his face.
"My darling. Are you sure?" She smiled gently back at him.
"It...is...time." He spoke carefully and slowly and leaned back into the pillows behind him.
Tom was intrigued as Cora went to a bureau and pulled out a small black lock box. She brought it back to Robert and handed it to him where he fumbled to hold it with his one good hand. She took it back before he dropped it and sat down the edge of the bed. She turned to Lily.
"My dear. I think you may need to sit down for this. You as well Tom."
The doctor, who had been standing quietly by the window moved to bring two chairs over to the couple. Tom helped his wife to sit on the chair beside the bed and then sat down himself. Lily stared at Tom with a look that bordered fear. He shrugged his shoulders at his wife and turned back to Cora.
She was fumbling with the locked box, clearly struggling to remember the combination. Robert spoke slowly and carefully and told her the numbers, his mind apparently coherent enough to remember the numbers he had set years earlier.
Anna and Bates came into the room then as well, carrying an armload of supplies that the doctor had requested from downstairs. They made to leave quietly, sensing the tension in the room, but Cora asked them both to stay. They could be trusted with confidence of what was about to be said.
Bates, who had stood beside his Lord for so many years had tears in his eyes as he realized that the proud man lying on the bed was likely to be affirmed for the rest of his life, however much longer that would be, stood beside him once more. Anna stood beside Cora and placed her hand gently on the older woman's shoulder.
When everyone had settled, Lady Grantham took a sealed envelope out of the box and opened up a piece of paper that looked fresh and crisp, like it had not been disturbed since it had been placed there. She took Robert's limp hand again and took a calming deep breath.
"As you all know, no one is perfect in this world and every one us here has made mistakes in our lives. Some we are especially not proud of. My husband has not been perfect in his life, and I am aware of that, but I have loved him wholly knowing this. I have forgiven him for his past indiscretion and we have done our best to hide the truth but it is time that the truth came out. It is time you all know."
Tom looked at Lily and she back at him. They had no idea what their Lady could mean.
Cora wasn't sure how to continue exactly, and Robert was unable to tell them exactly so she handed the piece of paper over to Tom. He took it with trembling hands and read the first line carefully.
'The Last Will and Testament of Lord Grantham, Robert Crawley'
He carefully read the first few paragraphs in silence and Lily watched as he went terribly pale. He looked up to the man on the bed and to Cora who was looking at him with a look that expressed both her regret and her nervousness of what was declared in the legal document.
Tom stood up and brushed past Anna to leave the room quickly, dropping the document in Cora's lap as he went. Lily had no idea what was going on, she wanted to go after her husband but at the same time she desperately wanted to know what he had read that affected him so greatly.
Cora handed her the piece of paper.
She read the paper until she got to the words that had set Tom off. She could not help but read the passage aloud, for it did not make sense to her,
"Upon the event that Master George Crawley has become deceased before me, I leave the entirety of Downton Abbey, and the whole estate to the oldest son of my youngest daughter, who has, as of this time, remained ignorant to the fact that she is, in fact, my actual blood daughter." Lily continued to read, growing pale herself as she continued, "Tom Branson and Lillian Branson, nee: Becker, will hold in trust the entire estate until their son comes of legal age."
Lily looked as though she was about to faint and scream at the same time. Realization dawned on her. Why Cora and Robert had accepted her into their family so quickly and completely. Why Robert had been so affectionate with Jack. Her brain was overwhelmed with everything that was becoming clear to her. Her own mother had been unfaithful to her father. Or the man she knew to be her father. The man who had loved her completely as a child. The man who was a hero in her eyes after he was killed in the Great War. The man she had named her son after.
"I am so sorry my dear. I wanted to tell you, but I never found the way. You reminded me so much of Sybil and I knew why, but I would never betray a secret sworn to me by my husband."
Lily was starting to hyperventilate and the doctor went to her to help her. Cora took her hand.
"Robert and your mother had a brief affair so many years ago but she ended it when she found out about you. She begged us to not tell her husband as she regretted her actions, but we kept an eye on you over the years. When your father died in the war, and then your mother shortly after, we decided to let the secret be buried with them. But the day Tom brought you over for dinner, to our surprise, we knew it was fate that you would come back to us."
"You are so loved Lily, and I hope you know how much. It is Robert's great heartache that he could not raise you and he has decided that you should know. Especially if George has passed, then he needs to know that there is someone in the family to take over his Lordship. Neither Mary nor Edith had sons and so even though you are illegitimate, it makes Jack the next male heir. Robert's will was written shortly after your son's birth and was meant to be read only by his lawyer, who would continue to keep the secret once George took the reigns, but now... everything has changed."
Tears were streaming down the faces of everyone in the room. Anna stood with her hand over her mouth in shock. Even she had no idea of the secret. Nor had Bates by the look on his face. Their beautiful Lily who had brought such joy to the house that had been far too silent for so many years was in fact, meant to be there all along.
The very pregnant woman struggled to stand up and bid her pardon, she had to find her husband, or get some air. Possibly both.
Once she had left the room, Robert started to struggle to breath and Cora started to panic.
"Don't leave me, my love. I beg you." She collapsed on top of him as she cried.
If fell on deaf ears. Robert took one last breath, exhaled it slowly, and then did not take another. The doctor felt the poor man's wrist for a time and eventually shook his head. Bates reached over carefully and closed the eyes of Lord Grantham.
He had at least passed with no more secrets.
"...They both heard the footsteps upstairs and his heart rate quickened. Was the baker back? Or was it George and the help he had gone to get. He was sure he heard more than one set of footsteps and then George called down to him from the trap door entrance.
"Uncle! We're here! It's okay." Never had Tom heard such a fabulous voice.
He lifted Lily, her arms refused to budge from around his neck and carried her to the unstable looking stairs. He carefully went up them with his precious armload and greeted George with his Grandfather in the back kitchen of the bakery. Their faces showed as much relief as his must have. Robert reached out to touch Lily's arm, just to assure himself that she was really there. He felt the chill of her skin as well and pulled his jacket off and wrapped it around her as Tom carried her outside. George wasn't sure what to say but he felt incredibly relieved that she had been found. She looked cold, and had a gash on her forehead but she seemed awake. Her head was burrowed into her husband's shoulder as they exited her place of confinement..."
geez that was hard to write, and keep secret for over 30 chapters... thank you again for reading. xo to be continued...