Chapter 2

Emmett and Rosalie- Freak Show- Brittney Spears

EPOV

Sitting in trees is something I rarely do anymore. I found it leaves me melancholy, reminding me of the time I used to spend in one particular tree outside Bella's window. I remembered how disgusted I was with myself over the stalker I had become. Yet, here I was again, years later, finding myself in much the same situation. I was just as fascinated, just as impulsive, and even more obsessed than before.

Unlike last time, I wasn't trying to formulate a plan to leave. This time, I knew for a certainty I would never be able to stay away. Leaving was a physical impossibility. For the first time in six miserable years, my body hummed with pleasure. I was careful to stay high above, far enough back to not be spotted. I knew Bella would not like knowing I was spying on her. I went over in my mind for the thousandth time the horrible way I left her. I went over every blasphemous word that passed my lips and recalled the shock that passed over Bella's face and the pain in her eyes. I would give everything I owned, everything I was to take that horrendous mistake back. I spent every second of the past six years in misery, regretting the finality that was the death of my own happiness.

It was shocking to realize that even through that crippling pain, the pain I thought I couldn't possibly live another day through, this pain was infinitely worse. Bella didn't want me back. She refused to speak to me, or even be in the same room with me, if she could help it. I saw the panicked look in her eyes the few times I tried to talk to her. The quickened steps, the hurried way she engaged another teacher or student in conversation to avoid my approach. My emails to her school account were disregarded. I got smart (or so I thought) and started sending my emails with legitimate questions for class along with my requests to speak privately with her. She sent back short, direct answers to my questions only. No reply to my requests. At least I knew she was receiving them. I saved each of them to my hard drive and read them over and over just to know I was reading something she sent to me.

I contemplated composing a long email explaining myself, apologizing and declaring my continued love for her, but I felt that it was something I needed to say to her in person. Besides, I wanted to be on my knees looking into her deep brown eyes as I did so.

I even went so far as going to circuitous measures to procure her home and cell phone numbers and tried in vain to call her. I cursed the modern marvel of caller ID, as I listened to her prerecorded message. I listened to it over and over just to hear her cheerful voice tell me to "leave a message." I never left any because I didn't need Alice's gift to tell me she wouldn't return them. In fact, every time I came up with a new idea to contact Bella, Alice would warn me not to go through with it. I saw in her mind the disastrous results as my efforts failed again and again, and Bella becoming more and more agitated and angry at my bold advances.

My school purgatory had become my desperate refuge every day. I couldn't miss the opportunity to see Bella, if only for the precious hour every afternoon in her class. I tried to remain hopeful, but that hope was chipped away a bit every day as each of my advances were crushed one by one. I was becoming desperate.

It was obvious Bella didn't want anything to do with me and I didn't blame her. The horrible way I had treated her was inexcusable. I should have been happy for her rich, fulfilling life and career successes, as I had planned, yet here I was, stalking her – again – from my perch, watching her play with the child in her backyard.

I decided to fall back on my old role and assign myself as her protector, following and watching as a specter, taking any excuse to be near her. I simply could not stay away.

I couldn't regret my behavior, though. Watching the two of them play tag, flushed and laughing, tossing fall leaves at each other made me smile.

The boy couldn't have been older than five. I was intrigued when I first saw him with Bella. Who was he? I had first convinced myself that he was a guest. The child of a friend she was keeping for the weekend, then the week. A month was pushing it. I had heard through the minds of various teachers and students at school refer to the boy as "Bella's kid," and all illusions of an extended stay were dashed to pieces. I knew I was kidding myself all along, because they looked too much alike for him to be just a visitor.

So, Bella was a mother then. I had entertained thoughts over the years of Bella as a mother, believing she would find a man who would love and care for her. A good man who would father her children and give her something I never could: a family. I tried to be happy for her as I pictured this, tried to convince myself all over again that I did the right thing. Seeing it now, in glaring reality was jarring. There was no "good man." Bella was indeed a single parent, and my curiosity was eating at me. Who was this boy's father? Better yet, where was he?

Another disturbing fact was this boy's age. Bella was only 24. If he was indeed around five years, that would mean Bella conceived only months after I left. Had Bella been so distraught over my departure that she would seek physical comforts in the arms of another? Who would have been willing to offer her the comfort she sought? The list of human males eager to fill this role was lengthy, much to my annoyance. That wretched Mike Newton was at the top. How is it after so many years he still finds a way to gall me? Just the thought of that shallow, undeserving boy touching my beautiful Bella made my fists clench in anger. It would be just like him to take advantage of the situation, and I certainly wouldn't put it past him.

I'm sure news of the Cullens' departure would have sent a number of willing suitors beating a path to Bella's door. Who else? Eric Yorkie? Tyler Crowley? This type of behavior seemed so out of character for Bella; I had a hard time believing it. The boy's existence in Bella's life, however, could not be ignored. His paternal heritage had to come from someone.

Bella did seem happy. Motherhood suited her well, and despite his father's apparent absence, the child was obviously happy, healthy, and flourishing under Bella's loving care. From what I understood, single parenthood was a difficult thing.

"Aaahaaa! You got meeee! The child's screeching laugh shook me from my reverie. I smiled at the two of them rolling and laughing through the leaf pile. Bella had him by the sides tickling and giggling as he was trying to wiggle free.

All laughed out, the two of them stood and surveyed the damage. Bella feigned a morose look.

"Well, buddy, looks like we raked all those leaves for nothing, huh?"

"No way! Jumping in all those piles was fun! Let's do it again!" Bella laughed.

"That sounds like fun, Jase, but we need to get inside and eat dinner. We still have some work to do, and you have a few chores to get done before bedtime."

"Aww!"

"Now, I know you don't want to, but if we are going to the movies with David tomorrow night, we need to have everything done. You know the rules. Tell you what. If we can get everything done quickly, maybe we can squeeze a few extra stories in at bedtime. Sound good?" The child's eyes lit up.

"Okay. Beat you inside!" The boy ran full speed through the yard to the back-sliding door. Bella's lips quirked up at the edges as she shook her head. He reminded me of Emmett. No doubt they would get along famously. With one last look at the few dried leaves poking out of her shiny hair, she walked briskly in after him, sliding the door and blocking my view of her retreating figure.

I remained on my perch a while longer listening to the sounds of Bella making dinner, and "Jase" finishing his schoolwork. It was the picture of a nice, normal evening. I had more information now and my plans for the evening quickly changed. I waited for the encroaching darkness to completely surround me and emerged from my hiding place. As I raced home, I contemplated the current situation, and Bella's most recent suitor was at the forefront of my mind: Doctor David Sutton.

As if I needed yet another obstacle. The moment I saw him knock on Bella's door a mere three weeks ago, his thoughts excited and hopeful, I became concerned. I had seen him around the hospital and knew of his reputation. He was competent, and most of his nurses and colleagues admired and respected him. I had heard him converse with Carlisle a few times, and knew Carlisle respected him as well.

I honestly hadn't thought much about him until that pivotal moment three weeks ago, and now, besides Bella and the boy, I thought of little else. Since then, I uncovered a great deal more about the good Doctor Sutton. A summa cum laude graduate of Harvard, he had been working at Rochester General as the head of pediatrics for the past two years. He lived in a modern upper middle class home, and employed a part-time housekeeper and gardener. He drove a newer BMW sedan, dressed conservatively, and voted Republican. He was also ten years older than Bella and seemed like an all-around likable guy. He and Bella had been dating for the past three months, and the boy seemed to really like him.

I, however, immensely disliked him.

Alice was waiting for me when I returned.

Another night of research? she thought pointedly at me. Don't see you finding much. Come for a run with Jazz and me. I looked at her eager face and shook my head.

"Sorry, I really want to find this information."

"Yeah, I know. Didn't think you would. Look, I understand why you feel the need to protect Bella, but don't you think this is taking it a bit far? You and I both know she's not in any danger." Yes, I did know. I needed to justify my behavior to myself, however.

"She may not be now, but you and I both know how quickly that can change. This is Bella we're talking about." I knew it was a lame excuse. Bella did very well on her own the last six years without me. I was the danger. I could almost hear Alice's eye roll.

Uh huh. You just keep telling yourself that. I heard the snarl rumble through my chest before I knew it was coming.

"Fine, grumpy. I'll leave," Alice conceded, "but don't think for a minute you're fooling anyone, plus, you know exactly how Bella would feel about this invasion if she knew." Jasper chose that moment to poke his head around the door.

"Ready Alice? Sure you won't change your mind, Edward? Dude, you really could use a night off. I can feel tension rolling off you.

"Thanks for the invite, but I'm good," I told them both, "Maybe next time." I strolled through the foyer and darted up the stairs to the office. I really was anxious to get my new information plugged into the search engine to see what I could come up with.

On some level, I hated the fact that I was forced to go to such unseemly measures to know the current situation in Bella's life. I wished I could just sit with her and ask my questions in polite conversation, preferably holding her soft, warm hand and looking into her deep brown eyes, instead of fishing around for it. Alice was right – I was intruding on her privacy and it felt dishonest. But Bella was going to extreme measures herself to avoid me, and I didn't know what else to do.

Blaming Bella for my behavior was certainly a new low for me. Had I really become so base? I knew exactly whose fault it was, and Bella was hardly to blame. A new wave of shame washed over me. I should stop this right now. Bella had every right to her privacy, and certainly to live her life as she wished – a life that didn't include me. Isn't that what I had wanted? Didn't I crush her spirit and destroy my chances of happiness to ensure that? That is what I thought was right at the time. I was proud of her and her successes. She had obviously worked hard to complete her education and build her career as an educator. I was in her class and knew firsthand her talent as a teacher.

It didn't take a mind reader to know she was one of the most favored teachers at the school. English Lit wasn't the most fun class, (as was the popular opinion), but her unusual teaching style and fresh perspectives made her class one of the most attended. As many times as I've read Sense and Sensibility, even I managed to learn a few new insights from her. And to be raising a child amongst all that. She had certainly moved on from the incident, as I called it, and made something of her life, which was far better than I had fared.

But, despite it all, I knew I would still pry. I felt slimy, but I was desperate to be granted that one opportunity. As I typed the new name in, my mind wandered down this new avenue of thought. Suppose Bella eventually relented and granted me a private audience. How would I proceed? What would I say first? Explain, confess, apologize, proclaim and beg, in that order and on my knees. Could I accomplish this in complete understanding and sincerity in as little as 10 minutes? Five? I had no way of knowing how much time I would have, if any. I would happily spend every minute of the next ten years on my knees if I knew Bella would eventually forgive me. I needed to come up with various alternatives for different possible scenarios.

I absolutely loved our high-tech search programs. We all did. They were so high-tech, in fact, that only select government agencies legally possessed them. They were highly invasive, and the average citizen would be outraged at exactly how invasive they could be, if they were known. Information that one worked to conceal (even through legal means) could be easily uncovered with only a few keystrokes. We paid dearly for the system, which was obtained through illegal means, and we liberally greased many palms to keep secret the fact we were piggybacking the network for our own personal use. Jasper's gift could also be used in reverse: instilling fear into the right people worked well to achieve our purposes.

We didn't make a habit of engaging in illegal activity but found that as technology made advances over the course of time, keeping up with it became a necessity in securing our privacy. Provided, of course, I had correct information to place in the search engine. I had already run Bella's name through many times but found no record of her having ever given birth. This did not mean, however, that she hadn't. Mistakes were made all the time.

A few hits for "Jase Swan" came up, but all seemed unlikely. I should have known it wouldn't be so easy. A different spelling, perhaps? Jayce? Jaice? Those seemed too feminine. Bella didn't seem like the type to mess around with cutesy spellings, as was the current trend. With a sinking feeling, I knew (as I had all along, admittedly) that it had to be a different last name. Snarling, I punched in the last name of Newton, being extra careful to not damage the keys. I couldn't repress my sigh of relief as the search came up empty. One by one, I put in every last name of every boy at Forks High. I then moved on to a broader search. Many names popped up. One was a forty-year-old drywall contractor from St. Paul, another an orthodontist from Akron. I methodically went through each, but none fit the description of a five-year old boy. Just as Alice had predicted, it had been an unfruitful night.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I started the computer shut down sequence. I huffed in frustration, glancing at my watch. We were leaving for school in a few short hours, and I needed to hunt. I had to be as sated as possible before allowing myself to be around Bella in any capacity.

Running had always been a joy for me. There has never been anything quite like the feeling of pushing my body's limits, feeling the rush of wind and watching the world turn into a blur around me. I especially needed the stress release. Jasper would thank me for it. I quickly took down a small herd of deer, forcing myself to drink until my body simply couldn't hold any more. I didn't like feeling so full but I knew it would make my time around Bella easier. I ran back to the house a bit slower, catching my sister's thoughts as I approached.

Carlisle received an important invite in the mail today. Thought you should know.

I watched in interest as the vision unfolded. We were all talking and mingling in a large congregation of people dressed in formal attire. It looked to be some sort of benefit.

"I'm not sure what this has to do with me, Alice. You know I'm not interested in attending any of these showy events. I would much rather send a donation and call it good."

"Trust me, dear brother, you will most definitely want to be there. I've got your tux already ordered, so no arguments. We've all decided we're riding with you today, so please hurry and get ready. Rosalie is getting restless."

Alice was reciting Dante's Inferno, so I immediately knew she was blocking something from me. Truthfully, I didn't mind so much attending a formal social event if I had to. I only minded the time it would take away from protecting Bella.

The whole idea reminded me of our junior prom. Just the memory of her in that beautiful blue dress, her long hair up in curls and those deep brown eyes still took my breath away. If I lived for many millennia, I would never forget how wonderful it felt to hold her in my arms that night. How right it felt, and how regretful the situation with Bella was now. Still, I would go. I needed to trust Alice more.

I quickly showered and dressed, shoving my arms into my jacket and pulling my book bag off the floor just as Rosalie's mental voice trilled.

"Come on, Edward! We're going to be late!" I rolled my eyes. Like she cared about being on time. Rose's moods were hard to keep up with, but I was going to be sitting in Bella's class in only a few hours, and I was very much looking forward to seeing her. Even Rosalie couldn't affect me today. Jasper glanced at me.

Glad to see you in a better mood, brother. I was so morose lately that any change in my mood was bound to catch his attention. I offered him a slight smile, sliding into the driver's seat. He didn't ask, however, and I was glad.

The ride was quiet and uneventful. Alice was going through massive lists in her mind of the new spring lines unveiled during the last fashion week, which designers she needed to contact to place her orders, as well as bags, shoes and accessories to match. She always thought several seasons in advance to make wardrobe decisions and purchases for the family. Truthfully, the rest of us didn't really care so much about being dressed in the height of fashion at every moment, except for maybe Rosalie, but we all knew that dressing us and keeping our wardrobes stocked and in perfect order made her happy. And, admittedly, we always looked good, especially with formal occasions. It was nice to step out of the shower and into whatever she had laying across the bed, and not have to think about what to wear. Who knows what fashion crimes I would commit if left to my own devices.

I tried in vain to block the sounds and thoughts coming from the back seat. Rose and Emmett were up to it again, making out and getting pretty into it. Jasper let out a groan, trying to deflect the massive waves of passion rolling over him.

"Jeez, guys! Can you freakin' lay off five minutes until we get there?" he gritted through his teeth. Emmett glanced up at him through hooded eyes and slowly came back to earth.

"Sorry." He put a bit of distance between him and Rose and whispered in her ear as she continued to nibble his neck, "We'll be there in only a minute. Maybe we can find an empty closet or something." Rose immediately smoothed her hair back and straightened her blouse.

The second we arrived, Alice, Jasper and I jumped out of the car and slammed the doors. Emmett and Rose weren't going to make it to that closet. Nauseating. Alice and Jasper had just as much love and passion in their relationship but used more discretion. The car began to rock slightly, and there was only one reason I was still here. I parked in the same spot every day, on the edge of student parking. This particular spot had the best view of the teacher's lot, and I loved watching and waiting for Bella's arrival.

I smiled as I remembered Bella's old rusted Chevy truck in Forks. That monstrosity was the bane of my existence. I wanted so badly the pleasure of buying her something new and dependable. An Audi coupe seemed like the best choice for her at the time. Quiet, powerful, the exact opposite of the old Chevy, and admittedly, the thought of her driving something I had provided for her would have felt very satisfying. I would have no longer had to worry about her safety in that old truck, not to mention how cute she would look behind the wheel. But of course, ever practical, Bella had repeatedly refused my offer. Watching her arrive now was a delicious study in opposites.

I listened for the sound of her Toyota Rav 4 and watched as it made its way through the gates and over to the far left of the lot. I was grateful she tended to park in the same general area, as it made my morning ritual easier. Alice would call it "stalking," but whatever. I grinned to myself at the deep red color of her SUV. I knew Bella well enough to know exactly why she chose this particular vehicle. Small enough for her to get in and out easily, good safety rating for her small family, 4-wheel drive for rough winters, and the red color simply a nod to her former rusted truck. And of course, there was the ever-present child car seat in the rear.

I watched carefully as she parked her car, opened the door and swung her lovely legs out the door. She leaned over the seat to grab her bags, gently shut the door closed with her foot and activated the lock on her key fob. Pausing a moment to swing her purse over her shoulder and readjust her laptop bag in her hand, she then turned and made her way to the teachers' entrance.

Time seemed to slow as I watched her steady strides. She was wearing a simple brushed cotton sapphire blue wrap dress that dipped in front, and the hemline rested just above her knees. She had black leather boots with a high heel that went to just below her knee and thick tights that covered the gap. The weather was turning colder now, and Bella's outfit reflected that in the black fitted waistcoat she wore over the dress. Her long hair was swept off her face and around to the back in a small hair clip. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, giving her whole appearance a light glow. She was stunning.

Cute boots. Alice's admiration snapped me out of my trance. I wish I could go shopping with Bella. It looks like her tastes have changed in the last few years. She looked over at me wistfully. I gave her a quick but stern look.

Alice knew that until I could find the right moment to approach Bella, she and the rest of my siblings were to stay away. I couldn't risk scaring her off before I had my chance. I knew Alice and the others missed her desperately and wanted to welcome her back to our family, but it was just too risky. They didn't like it, but agreed to for my sake.

I realized then that Bella didn't stumble once in her heeled boots. In fact, I couldn't recall seeing her trip, stumble or fall in the last month we had been here. She even seemed quite graceful. Perhaps along with her body maturing, her equilibrium had, too? Interesting.

Alice and Jasper clasped hands and made their way to the building for their first period classes. I glanced in the backseat, shook my head and walked to the rear entrance. It looked like Rose and Emmett would be a while. So much for being on time.