^Four Years Ago^
Young Hikari laid in her room, on her bed curled up tightly holding Neji's picture. Burying her face and eyes in the frame. Silently crying and whimpering. Doing her best to keep her cries a secret. Refusing to allow a single tear fall, but they came anyway. Her little eyes shut tightly, running like endless river. Filled with anger and frustration.
Squeezing Neji's picture tighter.
"Papa, I'm so alone. Alone."
Her life had changed. She no longer felt connected. Feeling disconnected instead. Peering out from behind the frame, looking at the picture on her desk, in her room. It was the picture she took with her mother and step-father, both on either side of her, the day of their wedding. Her mother held her, smiling straight into the camera. She was so happy. Her step-father, Gaara,hugging the both of them. Looking into the camera too. Smiling. He was just as happy as her mother. While she looked at the camera
"I'm alone. Again. Papa."Hikari said grimly. Staring at Neji's grave with absent eyes."Mother gave birth again. Everyone's so happy. Everyone's so thrilled. So excited. Mother's really happy."Her fist tightens. Though she quickly relaxes it."It's quite unfair. Everyone else, being so happy. I was happy too...It's just...If you were around, then I would be happy. Things would be different. Wouldn't they? No one cares about my happiness. No one does."She said rather dark and hurt. Grimly thinking of others and smiles. Making her cringe in anger. Causing her to activate her eyes unwillingly."Things were better...before...No one sees my misery. My sadness. My...If they can't see it. Then I'll make them see. I'll bring my own happiness."
Her eyes flash bitterly. Formulating in her mind what has been festering deep inside."..."Bowing to her father."..."
"Hikari?"
Hearing her name and knowing that voice the young Hyuga turns around finding her auntie and younger cousin. Hinata and Himawari.
"Hikari."Himawari runs over to her and hugs. Hinata follows her daughter smiling at her niece.
"Are you having a talk with your father?"Hinata ask. Looking at Neji's grave then back to her niece."Was it a nice talk?"
"I was just paying my respects to my father."she tells her aunt."That is all nothing more. Nothing less. Why would you call it a talk when one does not respond back?"Her words came out like venom. Realizing how she sounded, she changes her tone."Forgive me. It has been..."she notices her aunt holding something. A gift, better yet two gifts."You are going to visit my mother?"
"Yes. We are."Hianta says.
"Weren't you just there?"
"Yes. Hikari are you alright?"Hinata notices the darken look in her niece's eyes. It begin to worry her."Hikari?"
Hearing her aunt, Hikari face relaxes back."Yes. I am fine. Everyone is thrilled. With the birth."Her words came out calm and mature, yet Hinata seem to sense a hint of pain and anger.
"Hikari?"Himawari calls to her excitedly."Why don't you come with us? We can all go together."
Looking at her cousin, Hikari declines."Thank you. But I have training to do. I do not have to waste."Setting her aside, she beings to walk off. For Hinata to stop her."..."
"I'm sure your mother would love it, if you came to see her."Hianta tries to reason with her."She really misses you."
Hearing what she said, it looked like Hikari took it heart. Noticing the hidden glimpse of guilt. She pushes it aside coldly."She should have thought of that before..."
Before Hinata could say anything, Hikari rips away and runs off. Still running through the village, Hikari took to higher grounds leaping from roof top to roof top. Over the city like village. Avoiding everyone below, isolating herself away from others. Up here, she was alone. It felt like she was flying at times like this. To have such a freedom would be amazing. Closing her eyes and imaging herself light as a feather, ascending closer and closer to the sky. Her hand reaching out, she could nearly touch it. The tips of her fingertips brushing up against the spirits that freely went about. She could feel his.
Neji's. Her father's she could feel it, just barely. She just had to push a little higher and she could just...Landing opening her eyes finding her hand empty. It hurt so much and she hated it. Atop of a water tower, over seeing all of Konoha. The wind gentle blew through her hair. Looking down at her hand, her empty hand. She fights back her hot tears. What good was it? To talk to someone who could never respond back? It made no sense. Yet she did so anyway. She didn't know why, but she did. It gave her comfort while at the same time caused her suffering and pain. Pain she couldn't understand, suffering she hated. Looking at everyone below, looking like ants. Beneath her feet. Watching them go about their day merrily. Her attention was caught by a child running to their family. Their whole family. Mother, child and father included. She watches the interaction with father and child. The way the man held and embraced them. With so much love and happiness. She envied them. She envied others too. She envied what could, should have been her life.
And with this envy came something much more. Turning around in the direction of the hospital, where her mother rested after giving birth to her two newest edition to her mother's family. Two twin girls. Activating her eyes in the direction of the building. Her eyes could see far but not too far just yet. De-activating her eyes, she turns her back away from place, scuffing and leaves.
In a hidden mountain location, silver eyes vigorous search any sign of the hawk. Not just any hawk but a specific kind."Natsuki! Hey, Natsuki!"Kaito calls to her, making his way over."Any sign yet?"
Knowing that voice she turns around to Kaito, her foster brother,teammate and friend. He always stood about a head under her. Now a chunin and medic-nin at that. No longer a child anymore but a teenager, now. A very clean young lad, he took to wearing a sleeveless dark rick brown quipo with white slash around his waist, black pants with black sandals. Fingerless dark red arm warmers, a large pouch clipped to his waist and strap to both sides of his thighs well hidden two tantos . With Naginata strapped to his back. His hair cut short to his shoulders, which he kept his left side behind his ear. His features maturing, no longer looking like a child. His face became a bit longer, his eyes though remained large and kind. He wore his Konoha forehead protector tied on his forehead. The normal way, unlike Natsuki who wore hers around her thigh.
She too had changed over the years, wearing a full body mesh armor suit, that exposed a bit of her stomach, with her arms wrapped in bandages all the way to her shoulders. Over the body suit, dark shorts and chest wrapped in bandages. Dark sandals. Her hair she kept in its short pixie style though her left bang long, covering her eye. She found a way to dye her tips dark. She wore dark eyeliner giving her sort of a punkish look. With dark purple lipstick and nails. Her eyes still cynical and uncaring, but would lighten up if needed. Upon her back two medium size Kama, with two scrolls attached to her side. Her body had developed into a young lady's. Though rather thin, she did have some muscle definition. Her face despite its punkish look was rather lovely. But she never cared.
While Kaito cared more a cleanness and dignified about himself, Natsuki was the opposite. She didn't care and would prefer to be covered in blood if she could. Standing proud and confident all the time. Caring a rather threatening and cocky smile on, to scare others.
"I don't see that flying thing at all."she scoffs. Annoyed."Honestly, does that stupid bird of yours even know how to fly?"
"Leave Onyx alone."Kaito defends his pet."The weather was harsh, where he went. Not to mention, tracking Sasuke isn't really that easy. Even if we did send Onyx off a few days ago."
Natsuki yawns."Yeah. Well, your bird is going to get roasted if we miss meeting May. You know she's coming to the village."She folds her arms."I can't believe that Ass-Kage sent us off to get Intel from Sasgunk."She said their names in a disrespectful tone.
It didn't matter to her what title someone had, she didn't or never would address them respectful. Only a certain few she would, if they earned it. And if she liked them. Natsuki wasn't the easiest person to get along with. Which was why Kaito was really the only besides a few others who understood. Most of the time she had a look of disdain in her eyes whenever she looked at someone. Not to mention a rather short temper, if she felt someone looked at her the wrong way. Always carrying a chip on her shoulders. Which of course she was aware of and loved it.
Half the time she gave Kaito headaches. Especially if she got drunk, it was the worst. She would become drunk and enraged. Like a demon. Even so, despite all her interesting traits she highly driven and loyal. Well her loyalty could waiver should she benefit from it. Though those closest to her, she would not and stay by their side. Her displays of kindness often came out in strange ways. Mostly with threats. Life threatening threats. As a shonibi, many didn't work with her. Which was alright. Which was why the ANBU suited her best. A goal she achieved about a year ago, after training so hard to become one. Though she was a special case of ANBU. Though a chunin himself, Kaito wasn't really suppose to be working with their division. He would anyway, because he had to look out for her. She was in a sense his only family in Konoha. He couldn't lose anyone else again. The last few years the two of them had decided to stay in Konoha when, May their foster mother. A person so special and important them both, they would do anything for her. Took them in after everything. Well Natsuki just came. After she left to move to Sunagakure with her now husband, they choose to stay behind. Having made roots in Konoha, their home. Something Natsuki would never admit.
Back then Kakashi was the Hokage and gave them a place to stay. Taking care of them for May, well actually her friends did. They had become their extended family. Even when they had families of their own. They had offered to house them, which surprisingly they took up residence with Ino and her family. Mostly because Natsuki wanted to learn skills from Sai. A ex-member of ROOT. The latter didn't mind teaching her, while Kaito learned medical jutsu from Ino. So it was a perfect fit. What was more amazing that Natsuki and Ino got along well. Compared to in the past, the two couldn't stand the other. Ino found her rude and unruly. While Natsuki found her fake and boring. With the two of them having lived with her family until Natsuki became an ANBU, they had a rather good relationship with Inojin her son. Well Kaito did, Natuski loved to scare the boy.
"I'm sure we won't miss, May."Kaito assures her."Well make it back before she even gets there. I can't wait to see how much Hikari has grown and Yoshi."
Natsuki softens. Smiling warmly at the thought of the children. Remembering when they were born. The children her soft spot."Yeah. I hope though Hikari has gotten stronger. I told her next time she comes, we're going to spare together."She smirks.
"I just hope she's finally been placed on a team."Kaito said rather worried."From what Mother tells us,"he addresses May. Considering her one."She hasn't been able to establish any sort of relationship with others."
His partner shrugs her shoulders."Yeah. Well..."
The screeching call of a hawk, cut their talk short. Turning towards it, they see Onyx now a full grown Hawk flying over to them. Kaito waves to his pet."Hello, Onyx."
"Took you long enough!"Natsuki yells. To jump out way from Onyx'a talons scratching her. Payback for her yelling him. Perching on a roack"What the HELL! Stop trying to kill me!"
Kaito chuckles a bit."Then have a nicer tone with him."He pets him, untying the note meant for them."Alright, we have what we need. Let's go."
Yoshi stares wide eyes at one of his sister's in his mom's arm. He wasn't sure what to make of it really. Poking her cheek gently."She's so squishy. And soft."He kept poking her, which began to irritate her, causing her about to fuss.
"Stop that."Temari nips at him. Coming into the room. Scaring her nephew who backs off. Walking over with two bottles."Honestly. Shikadai."she looks to her son, standing by her."Take Yoshi outside."She tells him, taking her nephew off your bed and onto the floor.
Yoshi looks up at her about to cry. But she was rather unfazed."I wanna stay with mommy and papa!"he starts to whine. Puffing out his cheeks. Stomping his feet."I don't wanna go!"
Shikadai looks away annoyed."Seriously?"
Moving away from his cousin, Yoshi runs back over to the bed. Trying to climb back up."Mommy, I wanna stay. With you."He begins to cry."I wanna stay!"
His cries begin to upset the twins. You try to calm down your daughters while dealing with Yoshi, luckily though Gaara steps down the other twin back in their carriage. He goes over and scoops up his son, who now had tears coming out."Why don't you come with my for the day."he tells his son."Your mother and sisters need to rest. I still have the Kage's Summit. To attend. Then afterwords we can get a treat."
Hearing that word, brought a smile to his son's face."Really!? A treat!?"he became ecstatic, that he nearly yelped with joy."Anything?!"He pulls on his father's arm roughly."Anything!?"
To keep his son in a good mood and keep his mind off from staying. Gaara nods. And smiles."Yes."
His gasps with joy, about to scream on the top of his lungs. Squealing with absolute delight. Bouncing up and down in Gaara's arms."I get a treat! Kaka!"He said to his counsin, calling him by his nickname. Much to his cousin's dislike."I get a treat!"
Shikdai rolls his eyes."I don't-"he stops feeling his mother's piercing eyes on him.
Confusing Yoshi a bit."What's wrong?"Shikadai just mumbled under his breath. And does as his mother said. Before Gaara leaves he kisses you bye, along with Yoshi. They both kiss the twins, Shikadai just says bye and leaves.
"Honestly."Temari said with a tone, taking one of her nieces and beings to feed her. Looking down at the little one, smiling softly."Their so lovely. Twins. Who would have thought."
Holding your other daughter, feeding her too with other bottle."I am quite surprised myself."You look down at daughter, holding the one with Gaara's hair color."They are very lovely. I am very happy to have them."
Temari looks at you, seeing the tearful smile of joy. You just glowed in her eyes. If you could cry you would have, she could see it all on your face just how happy you truly have become now. Since having your family. Not having your own anymore. That was something you deeply wanted more than anything. Family was the most important thing to you. Even though you formed bonds like family with others, it wasn't really the same. Since she's seen you give birth to her nephew and nieces, there was always this glow around you. She could see it. Always. The way you would softly nuzzle your cheek to the side of your daughter's. Holding them tenderly and tightly. Protectively. Your love just bloomed all around.
"My little treasures."you said. Kissing your daughter's cheek.
Mother truly did suit you. Temari would always think. Someone with your kind of heart, was the perfect fit. Your children where very blessed and lucky to have you as their mother. Looking around at the gifts you had received and still where getting by others. She checked the roster to see who has come to see you, and quite a good deal. During your stay here, you had around care. Naruto made sure as well Gaara. About two days after you gave birth, Tsunade did come back to check up on you. And was very pleased it all went well. She took a quick liking to the little ones. All she told you was bed really, as your strength needed to come back.
Those who cared came to come and visit you. Even Hiashi and his youngest daughter, which rather a surprise. But, a very kind gesture. Even though you had married, you still where considered a member of the clan. The only who hadn't come yet, was Hikari.
Which of course Temari brought up."So, how are things going with Hikari?"
Coddling your little one, you pay attention to her question. Rather shocked she brought it up, you simple try to smile, but she could passed it."Things, they could be better. They are fine right now."
Temari eye's lower, not believing you."May."she says sharply."..."
You try to avoid her eyes, looking away. But she had rather powerful eyes. A heavy sad sigh leaves you, your shoulder's drop a bit."Things...to be honest...I am not sure. Lately, Hikari she has become more withdrawn. More distant. She is still a wonderful daughter, keeping up with her training and everything."You say to defend your daughter."She, just seems to have a great deal on her mind. She will not let me in."Your lip begin to tremble. Hurt and confused on what was going on with your daughter."She does not seem happy anymore. And I do not know why. She will not share her pain with me. Her tone has changed. She only seems happiest here. Not at home. She holds such a disdain look in her eyes. This darkness."
Your words came out fearful, causing you react and hold your daughter closer in fear something might happen."Has Gaara done anything?"Temari asked.
"He has done his best, to still be caring and loving to her. As I have. But, it seems she does not want it."you tell her looking up at the ceiling. Then out the window."...Sometimes, I often wonder, if I am the cause of her pain?"You look at Temari sadly. For second, then quickly smile. Looking down at daughter, then to your other one.
"..."Smiling lovingly.
Temari didn't really know what to say. Well, she actually did, but chose not to. Listening to lament about your troubles with Hikari, you eldest. The girl, as she could recall having meet her and knowing her since she was younger. When you and her started to rebuild the relationship you both had before. Hikari was quiet a fussy little one, but a kind soul. Even when you moved back with Gaara to Suna, she remember seeing the happy and kind girl. Who was in high spirits, with a bit a moodiness happy to see others. But was solely attached to you and Gaara. Now, there was no such thing. There seem to be something that just severed it.
"Auntie May!"Himawari squeals coming in laughing in delight. Standing on her tippy toes trying to look at the baby. Her eyes widen in awe."Hello. Can I hold her?!"
"Himawari. Let her be."Hinata tells her daughter coming, she looks at you smiling."How are you feeling today?"Coming over and sets the gifts down. She looks down at the infant, sleeping peacefully."Every time I see them. Their so lovely."
"Thank you."you thank her. You quickly notices someone not with her, you do your best to hide your own hurt. Smiling."They are very good. Not even a peep. Compared to Yoshi."You chuckle, Hinata joins while Temari sighs tiredly thinking about it."Remember?"
"Yes."Hianat recalls."He was quite the expressive one. Wasn't her?"
"He still is."Temari said."He clearly is your son."She looks at you smirking.
"Yes. But all in good spirit."you laugh a bit more. When you remembered something."So Hikari's birthday is coming up soon. Gaara and I have a wonderful idea for it."
Himawari tried to reach out to touch the little one, but Hianta pushes her hand down."That's right. She'll be turning ten soon."She fluffs your pillow.
"Yes. She is."you gently rock your daughter.
"Hard to believe that really."Temari said thinking about it. Smiling to herself."Just a few years ago she was a flower girl. Now she's ten."
You scuff softly, thinking of that day."Yes. And the day she was born too. That is a day...I'll never forget..."you sigh softly with a smile. Hinata places a hand on your shoulder, reminiscing with you.
"That was the brightest day ever for you."
Nodding your head agreeing."Yes. It truly was. The sun never shined so bright before. I know it wasn't my imagination."
Seeing the deep love in your eyes for her, Temari saw just how much Hikari meant to you. Though Yoshi was the first born between you and Gaara, Hikari was the first born child. The first of your family. That you had lost. She was so important, she didn't realize it.
Smiling more."I actually can't wait for her birthday...I have something wonderful for her. A surprise, I know she'll love."
"Really what is it?"Hinata asked curious now.
Looking at her, then to Temari. Giving them both a a tired cheeky smile."I-"
The sun was setting, Hikari reside at the manor done for the day with sparring. She took the moment to watch the sunset alone on the patio. Her uncle had some matters to attend too along with Hanabi. Leaving just her. Following the sun's descent over the horizon. Slowing going down. Sinking her in mind. Into darkness, a feeling she knew all to well. As the sun sunk, so did something inside. These feeling...this feeling inside...in the cavity of her chest...she forced herself to resist such feelings. Shutting her eyes to block it out, finding nothing but darkness.
And a voice...a voice.
"Hikari. Hikari."
That wasn't the voice. Opening eyes finding no more light in the sky. Nothing but night filled the sky and all around her.
"Hikari. Hikari."
Turning to the one calling her name, finding Gaara standing there. With Ko and Shira. They look at each other, he holds out a hand to her. "I've come to get you. Let's go."Looking at his hand then back to him. Her eyes turn sharp with refusal. Turning her back to him.
Standing up coldly walking by him."I didn't ask you to. So you wasted your time."
Shocked and surprised by her disrespectful mood to Gaara. Ko quickly apologizes."Please, forgive her Lord Kazekage."
Gaara places a assuring hand upon his shoulder."It's alright."he says. Looking in the direction she went."...She wishes to stay here. That is alright."Without another word he leaves. Wishing them both a good night. With her eyes activated Hikari watches him leave from her room.