Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas
"So spill, Harry – what did Severus want to talk to you about?" Hermione questioned her friend as soon as she had closed the library door behind her. "You didn't argue, did you? He seemed a bit tense when he got back, but then, he's always kind of tense in company. Is everything alright?"
"Geez, Hermione, chill! We're fine. Very fine, in fact. He gave me vials full of memories of my mum, can you believe it? I can't wait to see them. I'll have to ask Minerva if I can use Dumbledore's Pensieve." Harry paused, then added: "I asked him if he wanted to come to Godric's Hollow with me. He agreed. We'll go tomorrow morning."
Hermione was astonished. "He really did? Wow, Harry, that's – incredible!" She sat down on the armrest of the chair, eying her friend with utter surprise. Did Harry realize how much out of his comfort zone the intensely private and closed off man was willing to go on his behalf? Seeing her friend's bedazzled expression, Hermione thought that maybe he did. "I'm really happy for both of you. Just – don't ruin it, Harry! Don't pester him with questions he might not feel comfortable answering... Remember, he's a Slytherin, and not at all comfortable exposing his feelings."
"Really? It's his feelings you're concerned about?"
"Oh, don't pout! You're emotionally sturdy, like Luna; and I mean that in a good way. As to our professor... He might not look like it, Harry, but he's rather vulnerable. He just hides it really well behind his sarcasm and aloofness."
"You have really gotten to know him pretty well in these last months, have you?" Harry asked, wondering for the first time what was going on between the girl he considered his sister and their former Potions professor.
Yes, Hermione thought, they had indeed grown much closer than she cared to admit. "We spent a lot of time together..." she said evasively, "with all my brewing for the hospital and him teaching me Occlumency..."
"I'll never understand why you willingly submitted to that," Harry marvelled, shaking his head. "You must have a masochistic streak somewhere, Hermione."
"Well speaking, of masochistic... Are we going to make that Floo call?"
Harry sighed. "I guess we have to." He grabbed two cushions from the chair and knelt in front of the fireplace. Hermione still found that Floo-calling was a stupid and uncomfortable way to communicate. Unless you were still in your PJ's, it was easier to just step through and speak to whoever you wanted to talk to in person. Molly seemed to think the same thing when they found her in the kitchen. But Harry politely declined her invitation to come through, saying that they had visitors in the house and that it would be impolite to physically disappear while they were still around.
In truth, Hermione suspected he was just afraid that the intended quick 'hello' could easily turn into a something long and labourious – which was well within the realm of possibility. It seemed a plausible excuse for Molly though, who called Ron and Ginny into the kitchen so they could chat for a moment. Ron clearly didn't believe him when Harry told him that they were having a great time that and everybody was getting on fine. Before he could start lamenting again that he failed to understand why Harry and Hermione wanted to spend Christmas with Snape and Malfoy of all people instead of coming to the Burrow, Hermione thanked him for his present and said her goodbyes, leaving it to Harry to defend his decision. He had the more plausible reason, after all, Snape being his long-lost godfather. Somehow she doubted that admitting she also wanted to deepen her relationship with him – profoundly so – would sit well with Molly.
Back in the parlour, Hermione found Draco, Severus and Remus deeply engrossed in conversation and oblivious to anything else. Remus had Teddy on his arm, who looked rather alert again and was probably was not going to be distracted with his rattle much longer.
Luna was still on the other side of the room on the piano stool, one hand on the keys, her fingers tentatively striking one note after the other. She paused each time after having played a tone, listening attentively to the dying tone until it had completely faded.
She looked up when Hermione approached her and slipped onto the seat next to her. "I see Teddy woke again... I hope he didn't wake up on Severus' arms and started crying."
"No, they got along pretty well. They had a sort of contest going on for a while, seeing who could pull better faces. I think Teddy won, but that's only because he wasn't scared to do the more ridiculous ones, and because he can do better noses."
Hermione smiled. "Good. I didn't mean to scare him when I pushed Teddy into his arms."
"Who? Teddy or the Professor?" Luna asked with interest.
"The Professor, of course."
"That's what I thought," she nodded, then turned back to her playing. "This piano really has a nice sound," she declared. "Especially the higher keys, which I like better. Although it feels as if the lower ones have more power."
"Well, that's why you combine them when playing," said Hermione, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice. "They compliment each other. I suppose you don't play?" Or maybe she did – in a special Luna way, using only certain keys and avoiding those she didn't like so much.
"No, just the flute sometimes, to lure out the garden fairies. They like the higher tunes, too." Luna lifted her hand off the piano and held her wrist out to Hermione, showing her the bracelet she was wearing. "I wanted to thank you for the nice gift you gave me," she said, fingering the charms that were dangling from it. "I hope you don't mind I already opened my presents yesterday – at St. Mungo's, with my dad."
Hermione had gotten her the bracelet and a Moonstone charm that was shaped like a crescent moon as a symbol for her name.
"No, of course not. We had agreed not to exchange any presents here, except for the White Elephant gift exchange later on."
"See this bunny?" Luna showed her the other charm attached next to it. "I got this from Draco. It stands for my patronus. And the raven is from Harry – for my house affiliation. How nice of you to give them the idea to get me a charm, too. Now Dad wants to get me a Crumple-Horned Snorkack, but I'm not sure if it can be found in a Muggle store. Do you think you could take me sometime so I could have a look?"
"Of course. Maybe you can get something that looks roughly similar that your dad can transfigure for you..."
"Yes, that's what he thought, too. It's a really sweet gift. I have a present for you, too." She pulled a little box out of the pocket of her cardigan. Hermione carefully unwrapped it and held a tiny glass vial in her hand that was filled with a dark rose-coloured potion.
"It's a one-time dose of Sweet-Dream-Elixir," Luna explained. "You have to drink the entire vial before going to bed, and it will give you a really nice dream that feels much more real than dreams usually do. You will even be able to read letters and numbers if you see any!"
"Read letters and numbers?" Hermione echoed, wondering why Luna thought that to be awesome.
"Yes. Have you ever opened a book in a dream or a letter and realized that you can't read it? Or that, if you cast a time spell, it gives you really funny numbers?"
Hermione nodded. Yes – now that Luna mentioned it...
"That's how you know that you're dreaming – letters blur or numbers usually don't add up. So if you should dream about a library while under the influence of the potion, you'll be able to actually read every book you're interested in. Any dream you get will be awfully realistic, and will have all the details. It'll make you feel everything as if it's really happening."
Hermione wasn't sure if that was a good thing, given her dream history. "What if I have a bad dream after taking the potion?" she asked sceptically. She really didn't want to have a particularly realistic dream that featured Bellatrix, Nagini or Greywolf.
"You can't have a nightmare while under the influence of the potion. That's why it's called Sweet Dream Elixir. It tries to fulfil our wishes and desires – at least for one night. I've taken it myself, and once found a Crumple-horned Snorkack! It was fantastic!"
"Oh. That sounds great, indeed!" Hermione eyed the potion with renewed interest, but she couldn't help being wary of potions that induced feelings that weren't real. If this potion assured nice dreams, it sounded too good to be true. Why not give it to distressed patients in need of sleep? Yet Madam Pomfrey had never suggested it to her. Neither had Severus.
"Is it addictive? I could imagine that people who have trouble sleeping would use it regularly..."
"Yes, they might be tempted. But you can only take it once in about six months. It comes with a sort of marker – I'm sure Professor Snape could explain how it works. The Ministry demanded that it was put in – I guess so that people don't take it every night and start living in their dreams. Besides, the dreams are nice, but not always particularly restful." She leaned closer to confidentially whisper into her ear: "Apparently, dreaming of what we desire makes a lot of people dream about people they fancy, and since the dream is so real, there can be physical reactions they might find embarrassing if witnessed. I suggest you cast a silencing charm on your room, just in case." Smiling, she leaned back again, her expression dreamy. "But I really hope you'll get a Crumple-Horned Snorkack, that was my best one..."
"Uhm, yes – I guess that would be nice," said Hermione, thinking that she'd much rather dream about the person she fancied. She stole another glance at her favourite professor, who was just about to sit down with Remus for another game of chess. Draco picked up Teddy and came over to them, quite obviously in high spirits.
"You look cheerful," Luna noted fondly. "It's the prospect of going on a date with Harry, right? I really like how your colours compliment each other."
Hermione wondered if she was still on about the respective colours of the boys' auras – supposedly red and green – or if she found that Draco's and Harry's hair colour contrasted nicely. Possibly both.
"Uhm, sure," Draco replied, then his slightly puzzled expression widened to a grin. "But I just secured myself an apprenticeship, which makes me rather happy, too."
"In Potions?" Hermione asked, knowing that Draco has always had an affinity for the subject. And Severus was his godfather, after all. Though she wasn't sure if she even wanted to be a potion apprentice – she knew she lacked the creativity it required – Hermione couldn't help feel a pang of envy. For knowing what he wanted to do. For having a plan. And for getting to spend most of his time with Severus.
"No, in Defence against the Dark Arts. It was actually Severus' idea, and Remus was thrilled at the prospect of having an assistant. Provided, of course, that the headmistress agrees. But Remus and Severus both assured me she would."
"Draco – that's brilliant!" Hermione congratulated him. "You were always good at Defence. In fact I wondered why you didn't consider the Aurory."
"I did." The blonde shrugged, as if it was a matter of small importance. "They didn't want me. I'm wearing the Dark Mark. I let the Death Eaters into the castle and tried to kill Dumbledore, thrice, and I can't even claim a higher motive for doing so. Honestly, I'd be surprised if McGonagall accepted me."
"You had little choice at the time," Hermione said, frowning. "Voldemort threatened you and your parents. You've never been really into the ideology, and you're not a violent person by nature."
"The Dark Mark says differently," said Draco matter-of-factly. He wouldn't succumb to endless self-flagellation like his uncle had for a time, but he had to accept his share of the blame. He had things to make up for, especially to those two thirds of the Golden Trio who had shown him nothing but kindness since the end of the war. He just wasn't sure if he could make himself feel any charitable thoughts toward the third nipple on that figurative chest. Ronald Weasley was still a stupid git. The fact that he had snubbed Granger for Lavender Brown just proved the point.
"No, it's not as simple as that..." the stubborn Gryffindor insisted, about to deliver a discourse about the unfairness of it all, when thankfully, the peculiar house-elf appeared with the soft cracking noise of apparition and interrupted what could easily turn into a 'save sexy Slytherins' campaign if he didn't watch out. At a snap of his fingers, a buffet table materialised, almost out of thin air. It was loaded with sandwiches, slices of ham, biscuits, mince pies and fruit.
"Oh my..." Hermione said instead of whatever she had been about to say. She kept staring at the food even after Kreacher had disappeared again, feeling slightly overwhelmed. "He's hopefully not expecting us to eat all of this?"
Draco shrugged. "He probably wants to make sure that no one dies of hunger before dinner." He dutifully picked a pie and started nibbling on a it. Not that he'd been hungry, but Harry would probably consider it rude to not indulge when Kreacher had gone through so much trouble on their behalf. "I guess we can donate all the remains to charity tomorrow."
Although the buffet beckoned enticingly, they all pretty much forgot about the food, as they became engrossed in their respective games. After Severus had won the first round of chess, Remus demanded a rematch. Draco and Harry then started a fun game of their own, trying to outdo each other coming up with ever more clever transfigurations and charms to keep Teddy entertained. Draco had charmed the little nutcracker to life who was now leading a marching band of little drummer boys that Harry had conjured. The girls eventually joined in on the fun.
Hermione's gingerbread man had been more to Teddy's taste, as he was soft, round and perfect to chew on with it's anti-disintegration charm. Luna had snowflakes falling all over the parlour, which, like in Hogwarts, never touched the ground, and Draco brought Santa Claus to life. He was dragging his crocus sack behind him and shouted 'Ho-ho-ho' every once in while, but his dark voice and the mad chuckling sound accompanying it made him sound rather sinister. They stopped their competition when Draco, distracted by a bunch of stocking-clad Christmas elves that Hermione had set to dance can-can on the tea tray, had failed to stop his Engorgement charm in time, and a life-sized giant moose suddenly loomed behind the sofa, looking irritable.
Harry almost choked on his cookie trying to make Draco aware of the antlers, which threatened to take down the Christmas tree if the animal so much as moved his head. Fortunately, Severus, was quick to react and put an end to it with a quick 'Finite Incantatem' and the giant moose became a harmless reindeer ornament once again.
Not to Teddy's delight, who screwed up his face and burst into loud and angry tears at having his toy taken away. Remus quickly picked him up, hoping that his wailing would not turn into a full blown tantrum. It had been a lot of excitement for the boy.
"Andromeda will be here to pick up Teddy shortly," Remus said apologetically. "He'll be staying with her and his grandfather's relatives until tomorrow afternoon, so we won't have the same ruckus as yesterday evening."
"No need to apologize," Severus said with a reproachful glance towards his two godsons, "your kid clearly isn't the only child one has to watch out for in this room. The others are wielding wands and are obviously a far greater menace."
"Still, it'll be much easier for me to enjoy dinner without having to watch out for Teddy. I love him dearly, but I have no idea how I'd manage without Andromeda."
"How is she coping with everything?" Hermione asked, feeling compassion for Remus' mother-in-law, who had lost everything in the war. "It must have been so hard on her – not only losing her daughter, but her husband, too..."
"Having Teddy is a great comfort to her. Tonks would never have followed me to Hogwarts if she hadn't known that her mother would step in and raise him in our stead if the worst came to happen. At least I know that Teddy still has people who care for him once I'm gone."
"Oh, Remus... don't say that. You don't know what will happen..."
"Yes, Hermione, I do. But that's okay, really, I have made peace with the inevitable. I miss my wife so much... She was the best thing that ever happened to me."
"Tonks was a great person," Harry said. "I really liked her. We all did."
Severus had never had much in common with the young Metamorphagus, but he found that he couldn't disagree with the statement. Nymphadora - or Tonks, as she had insisted to be called - had been buoyant and cheerful, although her clumsiness had grated on his nerves. In Potions, she had almost been worse than Longbottom, knocking over cauldrons left and right. But she'd had a kind heart and had always treated him with respect. Now her and Remus' son would be another orphan who would never get to know his parents.
"Perhaps you can find comfort in the knowledge that he has a godfather who will watch out for him," Severus said, who himself had failed in the task. "I'm sure Teddy will want for nothing."
Harry gave him a smile, grateful for his vote of confidence, although he completely missed the apologetic and self-critical note in his remark.
"Damn right he won't," said Draco. "It's not like he'll be left without relatives. Teddy's surrogate mother is my aunt, Teddy's mother was my cousin. I'm family, too."
Remus and Severus looked at him in apparent surprise, though they were both trying to hide it.
"What?" Draco asked defensively, having noticed their efforts. "I never said she wasn't. I hadn't ever had the chance to say anything about it, as I never met her in person before the war was over. Mother never spoke about her. Not even a single bad word. Bellatrix was the hater in the family."
"Draco – I'm sure Teddy and Andromeda will both be happy to count you as family," Remus said warmly. "I know that Andromeda always regretted the estrangement between your mother and her, which was, after all, due to politics more than anything else. And it would make me immensely happy to know that Teddy has not only Harry and Andromeda, but another blood relative looking out for him."
Draco nodded. "I promise I will."
*'*'*'*'*
Andromeda arrived about half an hour before dinner, which was just in time. Teddy, whose nap had been a lot shorter than usual, was a bit overwound by now, and on the verge of getting really cranky. Harry, having opened the library's Floo to spare their guest from having to step step outside for apparition, led her into the parlour.
Hermione, on seeing her enter, felt herself stiffen and blanch. She had never met the woman in person before and was not at all prepared for her uncanny resemblance to the woman who featured so prominently in Hermione's worst nightmares. For a moment, she was looking into the face of Bellatrix Lestrange, and her heart stopped beating.
She jumped up from the sofa and instinctively she reached for her necklace, which was kind of absurd, given that Severus had been sitting right next to her. A Portkey to his office would do her little good. But the gesture had become instinctive – she reached for the pendant whenever she was nervous or afraid. And on seeing the woman who looked like her tormentor enter the parlour, she simply panicked. Her heart picked up beating again, wildly so, and her breathing turned shallow.
The gesture had not escaped Severus' notice. He could feel the anxiety coming off her in waves and immediately understood the reason for her distress. He stood up as well and put his hand on the small of her back, anchoring her with his grip, reminding her of his presence. It was sufficient to break her moment of panic.
Fortunately, everyone else was too distracted with the exchange of greeting and courtesies following Andromeda's arrival to pay any attention to them. Hermione briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath, concentrating on the calming hand that was soothingly rubbing her back. If anybody should happen to notice, it was a comforting gesture everybody would understand, given they all knew what had happened in Malfoy Manor. All except Andromeda herself, that is.
When she forced her eyes open again, she realized that the woman standing next to Harry looked nothing like Bellatrix. Her hair was chestnut brown, just like her eyes. They projected kindness and warmth, not madness. She was dressed elegantly, but not as sophisticated as her sister Narcissa. Her hair was styled in a natural looking, pinned updo, she wore subtle make-up. She looked utterly sane.
Hermione relaxed. She let go of her pendant, and after a reassuring squeeze, Severus reluctantly withdrew his hand. She immediately missed the contact and was grateful when he remained standing close beside her.
Teddy had jumped up when he saw Andromeda enter and hastened over to her on his short and unsteady legs, extending his arms to her expectantly. She obediently picked him up, hugged him and smiled.
"Hello, my sweet boy. Did you have a great time with Uncle Harry?" Teddy's hair turned pitch black and messy and he beamed. Okay. That was obviously also a means of communication.
Remus put his hand on Draco's shoulder and gently pushed him forward. "Andromeda, please meet Draco, Narcissa's son. He has a great talent for baby-sitting and will probably be around when Teddy comes to visit Harry."
Draco, just like Hermione, had been slightly perturbed to notice the strong resemblance Andromeda bore to her sister. On second glance, however, the likeness was superficial at best.
"Draco?" Andromeda gave him a friendly smile and extended her hand. "What a pleasure to finally meet you! You look so much like your mother!"
He did indeed, but it was the first time ever that someone had noticed. People usually only saw his light blond hair and claimed he was the spitting image of his father. It made him wonder if Andromeda smarted under the same superficial and negligent comparison being drawn between her and her mad sister.
"Nice to meet you, too, Aunt Andromeda," he said, shaking her hand. The fact that he had called her 'aunt' and thus acknowledged their relationship clearly took her by surprise. Yet there was no doubt that it was appreciated.
"I really hope we'll have time to share a cup of tea and chat when I bring by Teddy next time. I'd love to hear how your mum is doing. Please send her my regards if you should talk to her."
Draco nodded. "I certainly will," he assured her and turned to the toddler on her arms. "Good-bye, Teddy. We'll play hide and seek again next time, okay?"
Teddy, who obviously understood that it was time to leave, turned light blond and nestled his head comfortably in the nook of Andromeda's neck, looking sleepy all of a sudden.
"I bet you're ready for a nap now..." Andromeda said. "Auntie Elisabeth is waiting for you to get home. And I believe there are a few more presents from Santa waiting for you there... "
Remus kissed his son good-bye and ruffled his hair, which had turned brown once again. "Sleep well, my son. I'll see you tomorrow."
Andromeda said her good-byes and gave Draco another smile before she left.
"She seems like a really nice woman," Hermione remarked. "Do you think there's a chance that she and your mother make up, Draco?"
"They might," Draco said, shrugging non-committally, though inside, he felt elated. There was a realistic chance that his mother would put her foot down this time and finally let bygones be bygones, no matter what his father thought on the matter. With the loss of their fortune, their social position and everything they had ever valued, their relationship had shifted ever so subtly. His father appreciated her much more than he had before, and for the first time ever, he truly needed her.
"I'm sure they will." Hermione smiled in a forlorn way. "We often only realize how important family is when we no longer have them around. And they spent a very long time apart."
Once again, she felt Severus' comforting touch on her back. He wasn't the only one who had noticed her sadness.
"You must be missing your parents, Hermione..." said Luna, ever perceptive. "Especially today. Didn't you say they moved abroad when things got bad around here?"
Yes, that's what she had told everybody. She had just failed to mention that she had also erased herself from their memories. No one except Severus and Harry knew that she had been unable to return their memories. Talking to Severus about it had helped her come to grips with what she had done, and she no longer felt burdened with guilt. Maybe it was time to unburden her conscience and come clean with her closest friends, too.
Hesitantly, she told them the full truth of the story. "I don't know if we'll ever get a chance to reconnect," she concluded. "But I'll sure as hell take every chance I get to do so."
"Blimey, Granger!" said Draco, feeling disturbed. He and his parents were part of the people to blame for the fact that Hermione had no parents anymore. Pondering this, he also realized that they were just as responsible for the death of Harry's parents and – if Remus and Xenophilos Lovegood truly died – for Teddy and Luna being orphaned. His family was to blame for every single one of his friends being orphans! He wondered if any of them had realized this... Probably not, because they would hardly count him as friend otherwise. His mere being here was a blasphemy.
"I wrote them a Christmas card," Hermione concluded her story, unaware of Draco's inner turmoil.
"You told them who you really are by letter?" asked Luna, cocking her head. That was something even she would consider weird.
"No, of course not," Hermione shook her head. "I wrote them under the name they know me as now: As Harmony Miller, government employee, who lost her parents and who was offered comfort from people who didn't feel like strangers."
"A good approach," Severus said approvingly. "What did you write?"
She shrugged. "What you usually write people for Christmas... thanking them for their kindness, wishing them that they'll find happiness after all they've been through, and expressing my hope that they would like to keep in touch with someone from back home."
"Did they write back?" Remus inquired.
"Not yet – but it's too early. The regular mail takes about a week. But I'm sure they will reply." Hermione smiled. "My mum's always had a soft spot for strays."
"You're not a stray," Severus said adamantly, his face unreadable. "You're neither lost nor unwanted, nor without a home."
"Yes, you are an important part of a lot of people's lives," added Draco. Remus nodded, while Harry put his arm around her and pulled her close. "In everything but blood, you're my sister. You will always have me."
"I know, Harry. I don't feel like I'm alone." She stole a sideglance at Severus. "Not anymore."
A/N: You will find Harry's and Severus' visit to Godric's Hollow as a separate story in 'The Truth Behind it All'. Chronologically, it would have to be Chapter 11 in this, but I guess it doesn't matter when you read it. Not so many people have found it interesting yet, but if you want to know what really happend the night Harry's parents died and what role Severus and Dumbledore played in the whole affair, I encourage you to read it. :)