Hello, hello, and welcome back! This chapter explores some heavier themes but there are no explicit descriptions of anything crazy. Please enjoy the angst by continuing directly onto the next chapter in this double-update :)
Chapter Sixteen: Void
Comminuted fractures in both arms. Facial fractures— frontal, mid-face, orbital. They were lucky that there seemed to be no brain damage, but his orbital floor had been fractured into pieces. Shouta's eyes would likely never be the same.
The bandages wound around his arms and head were so thick that on any other day, she might have found it funny. Shouta's heart monitor beat steadily. Unable to hold his hand, Koharu's hands gripped tightly at the sheets next to it.
"I… I'm so sorry I let you fight them alone…"
A tear rolled from her cheek, disappearing into the bandages on Shouta's arm.
"When you looked back at me, all I wanted to do was run after you. But… I was so scared, Shouta." Koharu breath skidded into her lungs. She hiccuped. "But I should have been there with you! Maybe... I— I could have helped you..."
Her head dropped to the side of the bed. Her forehead thudded against the metal bed frame. Koharu winced, but welcomed the cold bruise. She let it anchor her in place as she breathed through her memories.
"Y'know, All Might… he thanked me for saving him. But I don't know if I really did anything. Everyone else, they ran into action and I…" she swallowed thickly. "I just followed along, really. I'm always left looking at people's backs. I felt so useless compared to them. If it hadn't been for Bakugou..."
She had been completely unprepared to defend herself. If Bakugou hadn't seen the villain first, Koharu had no doubt that the sword would have sunk right into her shoulder. She'd been completely helpless— and there he was, a knight with heavy gauntlets.
Her body felt heavy. A throbbing pain ran up and down her spine. She hadn't bothered to tell anyone about her bruises— after her performance at U.S.J., she was ready to accept the reminder of her failure. Warily, Koharu shifted so that she could lay her head onto the soft mattress of Shouta's hospital bed. She watched him carefully, hoping he might spring to life. "All Might has a sort of crazy back to him, too. I can't wait to talk to you about it," she said.
The heart monitor beat steadily. Shouta's chest rose and fell evenly. Koharu breathed in and out to match him. He didn't so much as twitch.
"That's okay," she whispered. "I can wait. I know you don't like me waking you up. "
Her eyes faded the longer she watched him. The weight of the day crashing over her was relentless, but she would remain vigilant.
Fighting back heavy eyelids, she mumbled, "When I thought you were dead, y'know, I… I think that I understood mom a little better."
Maybe she could rest her eyes for just a moment.
~o~
How long had she been in the darkness for?
She had started counting, but stopped at fifty-thousand.
Her spine ached. There was hardly room to stand. Most of her time was spent sitting, knees curled to her chest.
No one was coming for her.
Was this her fault?
Was it because she wasn't good enough?
Where was her mother?
Where was she?
Where was Shouta?
...Shouta?
The doors opened with a crack of light. A silhouette appeared in the gap.
"What are you doing in there, Little Koharu?"
Giggles burst from her chest— a chubby finger was pressed to pursed lips. "I'm hiding!"
"Hiding!" Hizashi pressed a hand against his chest. His school uniform was rumpled, but his yellow hair was impeccable. "Whatever for?"
"I'm gonna scare big brother!"
"Ohoho! How mischievous! Little Koharu, I have to say—"
"SHHHH! 'Zashi, you're too loud! Close the door!"
"OH! Sorry!"
The doors shut. Koharu was consumed by darkness once more. It curled like a mist over her skin.
One… two… three… four… five...
How long had she been counting?
Foggy light broke through a four-pane window. Koharu chased it down an unforgiving hallway, feet stumbling as the walls grew smaller and smaller around her. She could hear the sounds of children playing echoing towards her, beckoning. The path grew smaller, but Koharu forced on. She was pushed to her knees, crawling closer still.
"Haru-chan!"
Koharu reached out for the window as the walls impacted around her.
When the darkness cleared, Koharu and her mother stood in front of a fresh grave. Her mother held her hand tightly within her own. She cried. A heart monitor beat steadily from the clouds like thunder, and the skies opened up with rain.
"Shouta?"
"Yeah?"
"Mom isn't gonna come back?"
"I don't know."
"Oh."
"Shouta?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I hold your hand?"
Her hands were empty. Her stomach was empty. She had run out of tears after twenty-three thousand. Mom wasn't coming back.
Was it all…
Her fault?
"Yeah."