Disclaimer- I do not own any of the Total Drama characters that I choose to torture—I mean put in the story! They are merely here for mine, and your amusement. No profit is being made off of this (No one would would stoop as low as to pay me for this anyway) I give all credit to the creators of Total Drama, as well as Johnny Depp, because...well, he's Johnny Depp!
Notes From The Depths of Sarcasm- I love that many of you are following and favoring this story, and I love it! Leave a review if you want, I'd greatly appreciate it! Before I get to the Review Replies and the story itself, I want to give a shout-out to Creaturemaster! He's helped me with challenge ideas, and plenty of other things with this story, and in turn, I help him back! So, once again, shout-out to him!
Alright, now it's time to answer questions to your reviews! Don't be afraid to ask a question, I'll be happy to answer! Also, challenge ideas are always greatly appreciated. If you have an idea, please PM me.
Review Replies:
Smokescreen2814: Yeah, I wasn't really trying to hide it. Truth be told, I forgot to make her go Dakotazoid in the first episode, so she did it in the second!
Creaturemaster: Thanks!
Corbinace: I'm kinda rubbing the point in that he's been forgotten by most people. As you continue to read, more contestants will feel sorry for him.
NerdyNightStocker: Thanks! I found that lots of the contestants you listed didn't have much screen time, so I decided to toss them into the story alongside some of our favorites! Code Sugar was hilarious when writing it, and it'll be a recurring gag!
Also, Fresh TV confirmed Brazil to be one of the locations for the Ridonculous Race! (Silently cheers) I am now content.
Chapter 04 (Day 03)- Falling From Cloud Rhyme
"Last time on Total Drama Unfinished Business," Chris started, "The contestants competed in an insane obstacle course on the beach! There were skilled winners and big-time losers!"
"Dakota went Dakotazoid and went on a rampage, taking down my observation booth in the process." Chris muttered. "LeShawna conquered the log roll, and Dave got the fright of his life, when he plunged into the jellyfish pool, effectively sending him to the infirmary!"
"In the end, everyone's favorite Chicken little, DJ, was sent home after spending too much time trying to conquer the raft ride, but not without plenty of hugs before sending him off!" Chris assured. "We have 34 teens left, but only one can win! Who will be kicked off the island next? Find out on this week's episode of...Total...Drama...Unfinished Business!"
~Theme Song (I Wanna Be Famous!)~
(Communal Washrooms)
Geoff strode into the washrooms to brush his teeth. When he got inside the guy's shower room, he saw that Noah, Duncan, and Tyler were already there.
"Hey dudes! What's up?" Geoff asked.
"What does it look like? I'm washing my hands after urinating." Noah said, rolling his eyes. "Or peeing if you don't understand."
"Ooh, that makes more sense." Geoff chuckled. "How 'bout you guys?" He asked Duncan and Tyler.
"Oh, the usual, vandalizing the washrooms." Duncan grinned. "Chris must've actually tapped into the show's budget and bought new washrooms." he shrugged. The punk finished etching a skull into the wall with his knife.
"I'm brushing my teeth." Tyler said. "There's no point in playing the game if you don't have a winning smile!" he chuckled.
"Dude, nice!" Geoff nodded.
Suddenly, a loud, long, fart pierced the air. Tyler's eyes watered and he covered his nose. Duncan and Geoff did the same. Noah just stood there, unamused. "Whoa! Dude, who ripped one?!" Duncan asked.
"Sorry!" Came Owen's sheepish tone. Duncan busted open one of the stalls and saw Owen with his pants down, using the toilet. "Duncan! Can't an intern get a little privacy?" Owen asked.
"Not when your privacy might kill us." Noah rolled his eyes.
Owen chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry!" As he said this, he let out another short fart. "Oops..."
Duncan continued to cover his nose. "Alright, Owen's toxic gas leaks aside, I think it's time we formed another guys alliance this season." He suggested. "It's better to form it now than when the girls eventually pick us off."
"But dude, there's like, 34 people still here." Geoff said. "What are the chances that all the girls are gonna pick us off one by one?"
"Yeah, it's not like they're all gonna get along and suddenly decide to vote us off." Noah said sarcastically. "I watched the rest of season one after I was kicked off; the girls definitely couldn't pull it together and form a girl's alliance." He grinned cynically.
"True, but we can't trust everyone. I'm not about to let one of those newbies from Revenge of the Island or Pahkitew Island into this alliance, and if they're not in the alliance, they're an enemy." Duncan explained.
"Wow, I never thought of it that way!" Geoff exclaimed.
"Wait, are we sure we should be talking about alliances in front of him?" Tyler asked, jerking a thumb at Owen. "He's Chris's intern, and he was hired by Chris to stir up drama back in Total Drama Action."
"Nah, Owen knows better now, right Owen?" Duncan asked the loveable lug in a calm, yet slightly threatening tone.
"What? Oh, yeah! I know better!" Owen said, letting another one rip.
"So, the right alliance members are always key." Duncan went on. "First off, are you all in?"
"Chya' guy, I'm in!" Geoff exclaimed.
"Sure, I've never been in an alliance before!" Tyler said happily.
"Myeh, sure, it couldn't hurt." Noah shrugged.
(Outhouse Confessional-Alliance buddies)
Noah- "I'm not normally one to be a puppet master with more than one alliance, but I don't think it'd be a bad idea considering I'm in an alliance with Scarlett, and she did try to kill five people last season..."
Duncan- "Like I said, it's only a matter of time before some of the girls team up and start voting some of us guys off. I know it's only the third challenge, but it's never too early to start an alliance."
"Alright, so we're all in," Duncan grinned, "Anyone else who should be in the alliance?"
"Hmm...what about Cody? He seems cool." Geoff said.
"Good idea, and, if it ever comes down to it, he's expendable." Duncan grinned. "Anyone else?"
"Alejandro's cool." Tyler shrugged. 'What about him?"
"No way. He's as slippery as an eel dipped in grease swimming in motor oil. Not to mention, he's just gonna go after Heather." Noah remarked.
"I've gotta side with egghead on this one, Alejandro is not joining this alliance." Duncan shook his head. "He'd betray us in a split second. In fact, he should be our first target before going after some of the girls."
"So, are we going after Courtney?" Noah mused.
"If anyone votes for Courtney, I'll make you wish you in that stall with Owen right now!" Duncan snarled. "I plan on winning her back, which reminds me, we've gotta get rid of that conniving Scott too."
"But dude, Scott's cool now!" Geoff said.
"Not when he's trying to get Courtney's affection again." Duncan answered.
"Okay, okay, sheesh." Geoff said, putting his hands out in front of him defensively. "What about Trent?"
"That sad sap? No way, he's too busy being depressed." Duncan said, rolling his eyes. "I believe that confirms all of the guys for the alliance. At least the ones that aren't dweebs like Harold or sexist like Ezekiel."
"Um...are we being sexist? We're voting off the chicks." Geoff said.
"No way, it's called strategy." Duncan shook his head. "Alright, I need your confirmation." The punk put his hand out, and the others put their hands on top of it. "Then it's settled." Duncan grinned. And then, Owen farted.
"Sorry!"
Little did the guys know, Eva was listening in on the conversation through the vent outside the washrooms. She narrowed her eyes and walked off with this new information.
(Outhouse Confessional- dun Dun DUN!)
Eva- "Knowing that the guys have an alliance going is crucial. Now, I have information that could be useful when confronting people to get further in the game." She grinned. The muscled woman looked at the camera a realized something.
"Don't think I'm some freak who hangs out behind bathrooms and listens in on guy conversations. Owen and DJ did it once, why can't I?"
Geoff- "A guy alliance! YEAH!" He cheered, pumping a fist. "Although this time I'm not gonna betray my Bridgie-bear!"
Owen- "Some people think I should see a doctor about my, um...problem. I personally don't see a problem with it, it feels good when I-" Thankfully, the camera cuts out before he can go into more detail.
Max was currently outside of his secret lair. So far, all he had finished was the retractable door to his cave. "When the electronic lock is locked, it will be impossible to get in without figuring out my incredibly complicated pass-code!" Max cackled.
The self proclaimed evil genius typed in four characters on the electronic lock, and the metal door opened up, revealing the mouth of the cave. Max ran in as the door closed behind him.
"Hello Max, what part of the lair are we working on today?" Scarlett asked.
"WAH!" Max shrieked like a girl, or a very feminine boy. "Sidekick? How did you get in here?!"
Scarlett's eye twitched at the name sidekick, she took a deep breath and calmed down. "Max, E-V-I-L is not the best password to an evil secret lair." She pointed out.
"Oh pshaw," Max scoffed, "Evil is a perfect password! Now, it is time to lay out the shag carpet, sidekick!"
"The saying is "Time to lay out the red carpet", and your purple carpet is already laid out." Scarlett told him, gesturing to the purple shag carpet they were both standing on.
"Whatever," Max sneered. "Now that we have my super brighty-lighty-inator and my fabulous purple shag carpet, it's time to begin creating my evil masterpieces! But where to start?" He wondered.
"Perhaps a fire ray?" Scarlett suggested.
Max thought this over. "No, too wimpy. I need something that will knock the socks off of the entire viewing audience!" He declared.
"You mean the producers and those moronic super fans of this hideous show?" Scarlett asked.
"Yes, them." Max nodded. "I've got it!" He lit up. "I'll make a control-me helmet!"
"Didn't you already make one of those? And didn't it fail badly?" Scarlett smirked.
"Silly sidekick," Max chuckled, making Scarlett's eye twitch again, "I made an EVIL helmet. This helmet will allow me to control anyone who I put it on!" He grinned wickedly.
"Excellent idea, Max!" Scarlett commented.
"Why thank you Sidekick. You shall make an excellent butt kisser when I rule over the rest of these morons." Max declared.
(Outhouse Confessional- We aren't morons!)
Scarlett- "UGH, it's really tempting to stab him, but I'm trying to control myself. Once I can get Max to make that controlling helmet, I can duplicate it and make helmets for all of these brain-dead inferiors here! Then, I'll get them all to attack Chris and hand over the money." She cackled.
"Of course, it would be wise to wait till the merge, that way there will be less helmets to make, and less people to possibly thwart my plans." She rubbed her hands together maniacally.
Max- "Yes, Scarlett would make a fine kiss up! Not to mention, she's got plenty of good ideas, perhaps I'll keep her around as my jester!"
Owen- He is currently farting, trying to use the outhouse bathroom. "Heh-heh, all the stalls in the communal washrooms were clogged up." He chuckled sheepishly.
Scott- He walks into the outhouse. "If Duncan thinks he's gonna-" Suddenly, the farm boy smells Owen's foul stench and covers his nose and screams, running out of the outhouse.
Ella- "Aaaaaaaaah-Aaaaaaaaah!" Ella sang, dancing into the outhouse. "Aaaaaaaaah-Aaaaaaa—HACK!" She choked on Owen's stink. The princess wannabe tried to gasp for breath , and had to run out of the outhouse.
Amy- The moment she walks in, she smells the stink and collapses outhouse the door.
Chris McLean- Owen is still in the outhouse, and Chris is standing in the doorway, trying to avoid the unconscious Amy. "Owen, dude, you gotta use the bathroom somewhere else! Everyone's dropping like flies!" Chris complained, plugging his nose.
Owen- "C'mon Chris, I can't go anywhere else! The bathrooms are all clogged, and I am not going into the woods! I spotted a bear near my usual bathroom hole!"
Chris McLean- "Too much information, bro." Chris cringed. "Just head to the craft services tent, there's a set of bathrooms there."
Owen- "Why don't you tell me these things?" He asked, and quickly zipped up his pants and ran past Chris for the bathrooms.
(Pahkitew Island Mess Hall)
"I kind of feel bad for voting off DJ last night." LeShawna sighed. She sat with Bridgette, Gwen and Courtney at one of the tables.
"You voted for DJ?" Bridgette asked. "But he's so nice!"
"Yeah, but he's such a big chicken!" LeShawna explained. "Face it, he'd probably get eliminated in the scary challenge anyway." She shrugged.
"Yeah, DJ never was really good with that kind of stuff." Gwen nodded. "I think he can forgive you though, he would have been eliminated without your vote anyway."
"Yeah, but I'm just feelin' guilty, ya know?" LeShawna sighed.
"Well quit feeling guilty, and get ready for today's challenge!" Came Chris's annoyingly chipper voice.
"And that is...?" Gwen asked.
"Step outside while Owen the intern demonstrates!" Chris said. "He should be ready any second."
Several contestants raised an eyebrow, but abandoned their breakfast and headed outside the mess hall. "Just when they was startin' to fill up on my special chilli, pretty boy's gotta go and steal em' away." Chef grumbled.
As the plethora of contestants flooded out of the mess hall, they looked around, but there was no Owen in sight. "Um, where's the 200 pound bag of joy you were talking about?" Gwen asked.
"Wait for it..." Chris grinned.
A couple seconds went by until the faint scream of Owen could be heard. Everyone looked around, trying to pinpoint his location.
"Um... My big O is no where to be seen..." Izzy pointed out.
"Gosh darnit, I said wait for it!" Chris snapped. "You teens know nothing about patience!"
Suddenly, Owen came screaming out of the sky and landed right in front of Chris, creating a large dust cloud. All of the contestants coughed and hacked as the dust settled, revealing Owen stuck halfway in the ground.
"Heh-heh...um Chris, could you help me out?" He asked.
"That's right! Today, we're sky-diving!" Chris exclaimed, completely ignoring Owen. Many of the teens were both shocked and terrified at the same time.
"Um...Chris, I really need to go!" Owen bit his bottom lip.
"C'mon Owen, you're ruining my screen time!" Chris complained. "I had the perfect set-up with you parachuting in and me introducing the challenge, but no, you had to interrupt me!"
"No, I really have to go!" Owen whined. Suddenly, he let out an earth-shattering fart, and earth-shatter it did. The ground around him suddenly began to shake and crack, causing a few of the teens to fall down.
"Owen!" Chris whined as Owen fell into his self-made pit. "Now Chef's gonna have to fill that in! Do you know how much dirt costs? You're farting on thin ice my friend."
"Sorry! Now could you help me out?" Owen asked.
"CHEF! Help Owen out of the hole, I've gotta get on with explaining the challenge!" Chris called out.
Chef grumbled and stormed over. 'I don't get paid enough for this." He grumbled.
"Alright contestants, as you may have guess, today's challenge is sky-diving, but it'll be a bit different," Chris explained, "Ya see, the object of today's challenge is to retrieve a golden Chris statue from five points on the island."
"You'll be split into two teams of which you must choose five members to parachute down to the five different points on the island. But be warned, each set of Chris statues is guarded by something, or someone!" Chris grinned.
"So we're parachuting to possible death to get statues of you?!" Gwen asked. "Nice." She added sarcastically.
"Yup, but what will the other team members do you ask?" Chris stated.
"Um, no, we didn't ask." Courtney said.
"The point is, your parachutists have to have somewhere to land, so for every jumper, two other team members will move a fold-out couch for them to land on!" Chris explained. "And couch pushers cannot help the parachutists get the Chris statues!" He added.
Scarlett raised her hand. "Sure, but thirty-four divided by two is seventeen, and seventeen minus five is twelve, divide that by five and you get two point five. Thus, we have two contestants left over." The brainiac explained.
"You make a valid point," Chris acknowledged, "Two of the couch-pusher groups will have three people moving them, so choose who jumps and who pushes wisely!"
"What are the teams?" Eva snarled.
Chris glared at the body builder. "You teens really aren't patient are you?" He sighed. "Alright, Team one will be called The Altitude!" Chris said, grinning at the name. "Team members are: Dave, Duncan, Sky, Scott, Ella, Bridgette, Ezekiel, Trent, Geoff, Gwen, Courtney, Jasmine, Cody, B, Harold, Anne Maria, and Noah."
Dave glared at Sky, who wasn't paying attention. The Olympic gymnast walked over to Jasmine and high-fived her tall friend. Trent patted Dave on the back.
"Don't feel bad dude, I got dumped by my girl too." He sighed.
"Yeah, but you weren't led on!" Dave said and stormed off.
Bridgette and Geoff hugged while Gwen didn't seem too thrilled about her teammates. B and Dawn smiled at each other while Anne Maria glared at the inventor.
(Outhouse Confessional- Altitude sickness!)
Anne Maria- "It's cause of that Silent B that my skin is all flaky and hard now! He gave me orange spray paint instead of my usual tan spray! He's gonna get the beat down!"
Dave- "If Sky jumps, I hope so lands on her face!" He huffed.
Duncan- "There's no way I'm gonna let Scott impress princess by jumping, because I'm gonna jump!" He said jabbing a thumb at his chest.
Scott- "There's no way I'm gonna let Duncan impress Courtney by jumping, because I'm gonna jump!" He said jabbing a thumb at his chest.
Geoff- "Chya' bro! I'm on a team with my ubber-babe, and my new guys alliance! Sweet! But if they wanna vote off Bridgette again, I'm gonna have to abandon them!" He said, crossing his arms.
"And team two will be The Wind-seekers!" Chris declared. "It'll be Alejandro, Dawn, Tyler, LeShawna, Eva, Amy, Heather, Katie, Dakota, Jo, Izzy, Sadie, Brick, Max, Samey, Scarlett, and Rodney!" He read off.
Izzy wants to skydive! Izzy wants to skydive!" Izzy shouted, raising her hand.
Alejandro and Heather were glaring daggers at each other while Max appeared to be plotting something with Scarlett.
"Oh come on!" Samey complained. "Are you putting me on Amy's team each time on purpose?!" She glared at the host.
"Maybe." Chris grinned.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Katie and Sadie squealed together. "We're on the same team again!" Katie giggled.
"Omigosh, we must be lucky!" Sadie nodded.
"Omigosh, so lucky!" Katie agreed.
"S-so Amy, w-wanna go...skydiving...I mean—jump...underwear! Girl, you...food, together?" Rodney asked Amy.
Amy looked at him questionably. "You're more blubbery than a walrus, what is your problem?" The mean twin asked.
"Um...I..uh, really...Owen! Fart and...chilli!" Rodney yakked. Amy looked at him, disgusted by what he said and walked away.
Suddenly, Rodney turned to see Courtney glaring at Scott and Duncan who were already fighting with her. Suddenly, in his mind, Courtney was surrounded by pink hearts and cherubs. "I think I'm in love!" He mumbled, his eyes taking the shape of hearts (don't ask how this makes any sense).
(Outhouse Confessional- Me thinks he messed up)
Rodney- "How can I tell Amy it's over? Every time I try to talk to her, I become a blubbering mess! She seemed a bit ticked about that though, maybe she wanted to break up with me too!" He gasped in realization.
"Oh, this is gonna be difficult, but I can't help it! I know what my heart says now, and it says: Courtney!" He smiled, lovestruck.
Alejandro- "I cannot believe Heather thinks we're not in a relationship anymore! She's gone, nothing personal." He sneered. "Oh wait, it is." He glared at the camera.
Heather- "Okay, I still have feelings for Alejandro, but I can't keep him around in this contest, he always distracts me, and I am here to win this time." She said seriously. "Once I get an alliance going, he's outta here. It'll be easy to get him to fall for me after I win anyway." She shrugged.
Izzy- "Okay, so, like I was afraid of flying, but Total Drama World Tour helped me conquer it! Now, I've been ready for a skydiving challenge for, like, three seasons! This is gonna awesome!" She cackled.
Jo- "Being on a team with corporal pants wetter could be a problem. He's all teamwork and no win." She shook her head. "I guess this is the challenge to toughen him up." She grinned.
"Alright, The Altitude and The Wind-Seekers, you've gotta choose which five lucky teammates get to go skydiving! You've got five minutes before the Jump Planes are ready!" Chris said.
(The Altitude)
"I think Sky should jump." Dave snarled, glaring at the gymnast.
"Excellent idea!" Jasmine said. "Sky, your gym skills will come in handy, so you can be Jumper 1." Sky nodded, ignoring Dave's angry expression.
"That's not what I meant!" Dave grumbled. "I hope she falls on her face." He mumbled to himself.
"How about you jump." Anne Maria suggested.
"While skydiving looks fun, I should be one of the couch pushers." Jasmine said, flexing her arm muscles.
"I'm jumping!" Scott and Duncan said in unison. They looked at each other and glared each other down.
"Keep your knickers in a twist, you can both jump to impress Courtney." Jasmine grinned at the two boys, much to Courtney's annoyance. They both looked at her quizzically. "What?" She asked defensively.
"What are knickers?" Scott asked.
"They're, um...oh, never-mind!" Jasmine stuttered. "Who else is gonna jump? We've got two spaces left."
"May I take the jump?" Ella asked politely. "I think it'd be really fun! My bear friend looked like he was having a blast last time!" She giggled.
"Um...sure." Jasmine shrugged. "Anyone up for the last spot?"
There was silence for a while and then someone spoke up. "Um...I would like to jump, eh." Came Ezekiel's shivering voice.
"Why, because you think men can do things better than us women?" Jasmine snarled.
"N-no! I...uh, just thought I'd do it because no one else wanted to." He shrugged. "And...I feel bad about what I said back in TDI."
Bridgette rushed over. "He really means it! He's changed, he has!" She defended him.
Jasmine's angry expression faded into a smile. "Well alright then, you were one of my favorite characters from TDI, if you say he's changed then I guess it's true!" She nodded. "Sorry Zeke."
"It's okay eh, not everyone knows I've changed yet." He shrugged.
"A favorite, eh?" Bridgette giggled.
"Alright, so our jumpers are Duncan, Scott, Ella, Sky, and Zeke." Jasmine said.
"Sounds good to me, as long as I'm not the one doing it." Gwen shrugged. She looked over and saw Trent shivering. "Um...Trent, are you okay?"
"Yeah, just...I remember when I had to skydive in TDI." He shivered. "So much pain."
(Outhouse Confessional- Is his hair okay?)
Trent- "Wow, Gwen asked if I was okay! Maybe she hasn't totally lost interest in me! I mean, I know we broke up, but maybe we can start over or become friends!"
Gwen- "Yeah, I kinda feel bad about breaking up with Trent now. I know he kinda went crazy back in TDA, but he seems so sad now. Everyone just remembers him as the guy who got dumped by Gwen and write sappy songs. Oh, and he gets hurt a lot." She sighed. "I don't know what to do."
Bridgette- "I didn't know I had fans! And coming from Jasmine, that's pretty awesome, she's a really cool gal!"
Ezekiel- "I really have changed, eh. I hope more people trust me like Jasmine did. Maybe Bridgette can help me like she did back there."
Courtney- "Agh! Why does everyone gotta make a big deal about this stupid love triangle!" She growled. "I hate it!"
"Alright, who's gonna be with who when pushing couches?" Jasmine asked.
"Can Gwen and I be together?' Courtney asked, jabbing a thumb back at Gwen. Jasmine shrugged and Courtney and Gwen high-fived each other.
"I'll be with Trent." Dave said. Trent looked at him and shrugged. He could care less about who he was with, no one liked him anyway.
"I call being with my surfer babe!" Geoff called out. Jasmine chuckled and shook her head.
"Sorry, but we need two groups of three, so Geoff, you come with me and...Harold, and Bridgette, you go with Trent and Dave." Jasmine instructed. Geoff sighed, disappointed, but nodded. "Noah, you can Cody can work together, and Anne Maria and B can work together as well."
Noah and Cody looked at each other and their eyes widened. "Wait..."
(Outhouse Confessional- A setup!)
Jasmine- "Okay, maybe I'm a supporter of NoCo." She giggled. "I don;t know, I guess I'm a bit of a fan girl. It probably won't go anywhere, but crikey, it's fun to tease!" She chuckled.
Noah- "Ooh, that Australian is a clever girl!" He remarked, although he was grinning slightly. "NoCo is never gonna happen, but girls can dream." He rolled his eyes. "At least with both of us pushing the couch, I can tell him about the guys alliance." He shrugged.
Anne Maria- "Ooh, B better be careful, I've still got it out for him. He'd better watch his kiwis." She snarled.
B- He says nothing, but cringes as he blocks his kiwis with his hands.
(The Wind-Seekers)
The members of The Wind-Seekers were gathered by the Mess Hall. "Alright maggots, who's gonna jump?" Jo asked.
"Maggots? I don't think so!" LeShawna snarled. "If you wanna get all Take-no-prisoners on us, you can forget about it!"
"Oh, shut it Miss Thunder-Thighs." Jo sneered back.
"Oh please, that one's no even original!" LeShawna retorted. "What makes you think you can just go and boss us around like Heather?"
"Hey! Don't bring me into this, rap-star wannabe." Heather scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"Oh no you didn't!" LeShawna growled, turning to Heather.
Jo rolled her eyes. "Fame-Monger, and...crazy girl." Jo listed. "You two are jumping."
"YES! IZZY'S GOT IT GOING!" Izzy cackled, leaping onto the railing of the Mess Hall porch, pumping her fists. Several of her teammates stared at her like she was crazy, which in their eyes wasn't far of a stretch.
"Oh come on! Why do I have to jump?" Dakota complained.
"Because, if anything does go after you when you try to get the Chris statue, you can just go Dakotazoid and take it down!" Jo grinned.
"I can't just turn into that hideous mutant whenever I want, and I don't want to anyway!" Dakota scowled at the jockette.
"Too bad, you're jumping." Jo rolled her eyes. "So, who else is up? If no one volunteers, I'm gonna start choosing randomly."
"Why don't you jump?" Heather asked.
"Because, I'm undoubtedly stronger than all of you, so I need to be one to move couches." Jo explained.
"How about Amy takes one for the team and does a jump." Samey grinned. "She did pretty good back in the volcano challenge."
"Hey! No way, I am not jumping out of a plane again!" Amy glared at her twin.
"Excellent, Amy can be the next jumper." Jo nodded, much to Amy's chargin.
"Well, you won't see Evil jumping out of a plane." Max snarled. "He is way too evilly mature to do such things."
"Nuh-uh, you're jumping!" Katie snapped.
Sadie nodded. "Totally jumping!"
"Then it's settled." Jo grinned. "Max is jumping, along with you two ladies." She said, pointing to Katie and Sadie.
"What?" They both asked in unison.
"Yup, by volunteering someone, you volunteer yourselves." She summed up.
"Hey! You volunteered me!" Dakota snapped, scowling at the jockette once more.
Jo shrugged, "Eh, I'm needed with the couches." She grinned. "Speaking of which, I'll be with sergeant leaky here." She said, jabbing a thumb at Brick. "Heather, you're with the moon-child."
Before Heather could protest, Scarlett spoke up. "May I be with Eva? She's strong and I'm relatively lacking in muscle strength." She explained, although lying.
"Um...sure." Jo shrugged. "Tyler and LeShawna, you'll work together, and that leaves Alejandro, Rodney and Samey. You three can work together."
(Outhouse Confessional- Jo the control FREAK!)
Scarlett- "Excellent, once Eva and I are alone and pushing the couch, I can talk to her about strategy. Also, it took everything to lie about my strength. I could kill these losers in 500 different ways." She snarled.
Samey- "I'm not thrilled to be with Rodney, especially since he's on Amy's side. Not to mention, Alejandro's evil, so this isn't gonna be very fun." She sighed.
Jo- "Being with private leaky will give me a chance to talk him into an alliance. Once again, I can use him to his strengths, and when I don't need him, I'll vote him off. Oh, and if my teammates think they're gonna vote me off if we lose, they forget that I have a few tricks up my sleeve." She grinned.
"Alrighty then, before you all board the planes," Chris said, motioning to two rusty Jumper Planes, "Here are the five locations you must find an alter and grab a Chris statue at:
1. One Chris alter will be on a buoy at the base of the cliff. Just parachute down and snatch it without being attacked by or electric eels!
2. The second Chris alter can be found inside a waterfall somewhere in the forest! Parachute into the pond in front of it and head through the waterfall to get your Chris statue, without tangling with one of our mutant friends...
3. The third alter will be sitting on a ledge in the volcano's crater. Be careful, or the Flying, Fire-breathing Mountain Goats will get you!
4. Numero quatro, the alter can be found inside the cave that Waneyihtam Maskwak took shelter in last season. But be careful, bears and other creatures like the dark of the cave...
5. Finally, the last Chris alter will be in Sector B of the island, on the snowy mountaintop. Grab your Chris statue carefully, or an avalanche might ensue! Oh, and you might not wanna wake the Sasquatchanakwa
"You can easily decide who will be jumping onto which target, while the couch pushers decide who they'll be setting up the landing couch for." Chris said. "So, on that note, jumpers, get in your team's planes! The Altitude will be piloted by Chef, and The Wind-Seekers will be piloted by some intern."
As the Jumpers for both teams boarded their respected planes, of which were sitting on the beach, the couch pushers got into their teams of two (and three) and selected a couch.
"Alright, the jumpers will be taking off on this makeshift runway," Chris said, motioning to the beach, which was decked out in white lines that just looked confusing, "Couch pushers, begin moving your couches to your respected area, you've got a lot of ground to cover!"
As both planes took off, one after the other, thecouch pushers of The Wind-Seekers discussed where they'd be pushing their couch to.
"Harold, Geoff and I will push our couch to the snowy mountaintop, Gwen and Courtney will push their couch to the waterfall, Trent, Dave and Bridgette push their couch to the cave, Cody and Noah will be at the bottom of the cliff, and Anne Maria and B will be at the volcano." Jasmine instructed. "Any questions?"
No one spoke up. "Alright, head out before the jumpers accidentally kill them selves in this challenge!" Jasmine chuckled.
(Outhouse Confessional- Challenge Time)
Jasmine- "I think my team this time around might not be too bad! I think we can win this one, although, while I like NoCo, they might not be able to push that couch since their arms are kinda like noodles." She snickered.
Geoff- "Yeah, I'm a bit disappointed that I don't get to move couches with my babe, but Jasmine's cool, and Harold's not too bad!"
Trent- "I kinda feel for Dave, he's got no friends cause everyone thinks he's crazy. I'm just like him, only people don't think I'm crazy." He chuckled.
"Brick and I will take on the snowy mountaintop, Alejandro, Samey and Rodney will take the volcano, Scarlett and Eva will do the waterfall, Tyler and LeShawna will take the bottom of the cliff, and Heather and Dawn can take the cave." Jo said. "Any questions?"
Pretty much everyone raised their hands, glaring at the jockette. "No questions? Excellent!" Jo grinned.
(Outhouse Confessional- No questions)
Samey- "Is it just me, or does Jo sound like Chris?"
LeShawna- "I'm pretty sure Jo and Chris are related now. If we lose, I think we can all agree she's outta here." She snarled.
Jo- "Oh please, it's called a winning strategy." She rolled her eyes. "I don't care if those losers don't like it, this is a reality show, we're not here to make friends and be happy."
Heather- "Jo is a solid competitor, but I still hate her. She thinks she can waltz in and take over as leader? Hello, I've been on this show for four seasons! She's only been here for two!" She scoffed. "And that sweatshirt and sweatpants are so off-putting."
(The Altitude- Parachutists)
Ezekiel, Sky, Duncan, Scott and Ella were all up in the Jump plane. The door hadn't been opened yet, but an intern stood by it, ready to open it when he was told.
Duncan looked out one of the windows and gulped. "Wow...maybe this wasn't such a good idea." He said nervously.
"Ha! This is nothing! You would never have lasted on my farm." Scott snickered, making Duncan wonder what it was he did at his family's farm.
"Oh this is gonna be awesome!" Sky exclaimed, also looking out the window. "Hey, it's funny because my name is Sky and we're going up into the sky!" Sky chuckled.
"Into the sky we go! When we'll jump, nobody kno-o-o-ows!" Ella sang. Sky looked at her a bit strangely, but decided to ignore the singer.
"Um...Sky, is Prince David still your prince?" Ella asked Sky as the plane continued to soar higher into the sky.
"What? Oh. No, he never was my...um, prince." Sky explained. "And he thinks I led him on, when he was the one who didn't want to hear what I had to say."
"So Prince David is single? Oh joy!" Ella said ecstatically.
(Outhouse Confessional- Prince Outhouse)
Ella- "Now that Sky has no longer captured Prince David's heart, it is my turn to try! Oh, he's so sweet and handsome, and his new haircut is divine!"
Sky- "Ella's nice, but she really can be annoying. I don't know why she likes Dave, she saw how obsessed he gets, right?" She sighed. "I don't know, my talk with Ella reminds me of when I first started to like Dave last season. Maybe...I still have feelings for him? Oh, this is all so difficult, I want to win, but I really think I need to make things right with Dave!"
Dave- "From now on, when I'm not on the same team as Sky, I'm going to vote myself off. The only reason I'm back is because of Sky, and I don't want anything to do with her!" He stated. Suddenly, something came to his mind.
"Whoa...what if I found another girl! There's plenty of beautiful girls here! If I could get one of them to like me, I could make Sky jealous! This is the best plan ever!" He grinned.
Duncan- "I was having second thoughts on jumping from that high, but I wasn't about to let Scott one up me with getting Courtney back! If there's one thing I know, princess can't resist bad-boy daredevils!" He grinned.
Courtney- "I really have no interest in either of them. I'll never forgive Duncan for cheating on me, and Scott wouldn't believe me when I told him Cameron kissed me! That little four-eyed nerd should be glad he's not back this season." She threatened.
The plane had reached maximum height and was now flying evenly over the island. "First flyover is the waterfall!" Chef called out over the plane's intercom.
"Alright, who's doing the waterfall jump?" Sky asked.
There wasn't even a second after she said this when Scott and Duncan both said, "Me!"
"Too late! I've already got my parachute!" Scott cackled as he grabbed a parachute bag and strapped it on. The dirt farmer ripped open the door and didn't hesitate to jump right out. The intern stared at the red-head falling through the clouds.
With the door open, the wind rushing outside the plane sounded like a jet taking off (Which kind of makes sense). "I wonder if he realized that we weren't quite over the drop zone yet!" Sky hollered over the noise.
"Ha! What a loser!" Duncan laughed. The punk walked over to the crate of parachutes and was about to grab one when the rushing air from outside pulled him towards the exit. "Gah!" He screamed as he was sucked towards the exit.
Now the punk was hanging onto the exit floor for dear life. "Help!" he screamed. "I don't really feel like getting my butt sucked out of a plane!"
Ezekiel chuckled. "At least he's got his sense of humor, eh. Right?" He asked.
(The Altitude- Courtney and Gwen)
Courtney and Gwen were pushing one of the couches through the forest. "So, who do you think is gonna land on the couch?" Gwen asked.
"With any luck, it'll be Duncan or Scott." Courtney chuckled. "Then we can watch them face off against one of the mutants." Courtney snickered, pointing to the waterfall which was a couple yards away.
"Oh, I hear you." Gwen chuckled. "I hope it's Duncan."
Suddenly, Scott's wild scream could be heard from somewhere up in the sky. Courtney and Gwen both looked up to see Scott falling through the clouds with no parachute.
"Open your parachute!" Gwen hollered up.
Courtney tried hard to keep in a laugh as Scott pulled the parachute cord. Suddenly, a large white parachute opened up from the bag, but oddly enough, it did nothing to stop Scott's falling.
"His parachute has holes in it!" Courtney pointed. Indeed, Scott's parachute had several large holes in it, which didn't help him from falling from the sky at all.
Gwen and Courtney tried to pinpoint where Scott was going to land and tried to push the couch there. "Hurry up and push harder!" Gwen shouted.
(Outhouse Confessional- Scott Fall)
Courtney- "Okay, I don't like Scott, but I don't want him falling from the sky. That's gotta hurt." She cringed. "However, I wouldn't mind watching that happen to Duncan." She glared at the camera.
Gwen- "Scott's not so bad, but don't worry, I'm not interested. Courtney probably won't take him back though." She chuckled.
Scott- "I wasn't scared of falling through the sky, I just wasn't ready. The plane shifted before I could jump out at the right time." Scott lied. "Yeah, that's it."
Scott crashed through about fifteen different branches before landing on the couch, which launched him into the pond in front of the waterfall.
Courtney and Gwen couldn't help laughing like hyenas, at least until Scott's ripped parachute fell on them, complete with a couple sticks, leaves and twigs.
Courtney tossed the thing from her head and Gwen pulled a stick and a few twigs from her hair. "So, which mutant will Scott be facing off?" Gwen wondered.
"Oh please, this'll be easy." Scott assured.
"Your black eye, missing tooth and scratches say otherwise." Gwen remarked, although grinning.
Scott rolled his eyes and trudged through the water until he came to the waterfall. Courtney and Gwen watched closely as Scott passed under the spray of water.
Not two seconds after he had entered, a screaming Scott was hurled out of the cave behind the waterfall and crashed kiwis-first into the sofa. "Gah-" He choked, tears welling up in his eyes.
"So, who's the lucky mutant?" Gwen asked.
Courtney nervously pointed to the waterfall where Fang the mutated shark poked his head out of the waterfall. He spotted Scott and grinned devilishly. The shark grabbed Scott by the leg and began to...play with him.
As Scott's cries of terror and pain filled the forest, Courtney and Gwen watched, eyes wide. They weren't sure if they should be laughing, or if they should call the paramedics. "I think Fang only has eyes for Scott." Courtney mustered a laugh.
Suddenly, Scarlett and Eva approached the waterfall. "It seems the competition's already here." Scarlett stated. Eva unfolded the couch and the two leaned against a tree, waiting for their parachutist to arrive.
"Come on! What's taking them?!" Eva grumbled as Scott continued to get his butt handed to him by Fang.
(The Wind-Seekers- Parachutists)
"You can not get me to jump out of this plane!" Amy snapped. "I didn't even want to do this! Samey got me doing it and Jo took over before I could argue."
"Too bad, you're a jumper, so JUMP!" Izzy shouted, trying to shove Amy out of the plane.
"If I've gotta do it, you have to do it too!" Dakota shouted. Amy grabbed the door of the plane to avoid being shoved out at 30,000 feet.
"No! You can't make me!" Amy screamed.
"Fine! I'll do it!" Izzy snapped. "Izzy always did want to jump out of a plane."
"I thought you were afraid of flying." Sadie pointed out.
"Oh, Izzy was, but she got over it and has ever since wanted to parachute out of a plane!" Izzy nodded. She grabbed a parachute and launched herself from the plane, cackling all the way.
"Who else is scared of her?" Katie shuddered. The other four contestants in the plane all raised their hands.
(The Wind-Seekers- Scarlett and Eva)
"Do you hear something?" Eva asked as Izzy's faint scream got louder and more noticeable.
"Yes, I'd say that noise is an Izzy falling from the sky." Scarlett concluded, pointing into the sky. Izzy was hurdling towards them, screaming in either joy or terror. It was probably joy.
Izzy came in like a comet, slamming into Scarlett, creating a pile of wild limbs and screams. "IZZY!" Scarlett roared. "I mean—Couldn't you have landed on the couch?"
"No, that's why I landed on you." Izzy said.
Scarlett rolled her eyes and shoved Izzy off of her. "Just go get the Chris statue." She muttered. Izzy leaped up and skipped through the pond, right past Fang, who was still beating the crap out of Scott. Izzy danced into the cave behind the waterfall, and a couple seconds later, she bounced out with one of the golden Chris statues in hand.
Eva pumped her fist and Scarlett grinned. "Let's get this statue back to camp." Scarlett said, jabbing a thumb behind her at the trail.
Courtney and Gwen gaped at the three girls. "Scott! Get the statue already!" Courtney hollered.
"I'm a little busy here!" Scott screamed as Fang continued to throttle him.
"Oh, I was in there and the other statue is gone. Fang must have eaten it." Izzy shrugged and followed Eva and Scarlett.
"Oh come on!" Courtney complained. "Well, there goes the first point." She sighed.
"Owch!" Gwen cringed. "The Anvil Drop. That's gotta be painful." She said as Fang leaped up and slammed his elbow (do sharks have elbows?) into Scott's back.
"Where'd he get the chair?" Courtney asked as Fang continued to beat Scott with a wooden chair.
"Okay, we should probably help him." Gwen said. "I've got an idea. Grab a log and start hitting Fang in the back. I'll hit him in the groin and then we'll grab Scott."
The Goth grabbed a large log and Courtney began hitting Fang in the back. The mutated shark dropped a mangled Scott and turned around to hit whoever was beating him with a log. Courtney slammed the log into Fang's face and he growled at the CIT, his sharp teeth showing.
"Gwen..." Courtney hissed uneasily.
Suddenly, Gwen came from behind and swung another log up between Fang's legs and the Shark toppled over, holding his nether regions (do sharks have those either?).
"Grab Scott!" Gwen said.
Courtney grabbed Scott's legs and Gwen picked him up by the shoulders and they began to move him out of the forest. "Hey pretty lady...what's the purple pickle doing in the unicorn cave?" Scott babbled.
(The Altitude- Trent, Dave, and Bridgette)
"I hope Sky lands on her face." Dave grumbled.
"Dude, that's the fifth time you've said that." Trent muttered.
"Guys, can we please just be kind and think nice thoughts?" Bridgette asked them both.
"You don't know what it's like to be led on and cheated on!" Dave insisted. "You and Geoff are always such a happy relationship, you never have a problem!"
"That's the third time you've said that." Trent said.
"I know I don't know what you've been through, but Geoff and I aren't the perfect couple you guys think we are. We've kind of been less steady lately." Bridgette sighed. "I suppose it's because we live in different parts of Canada. In fact, Geoff is the only reason I came back for this season, so I could see him again."
"How tragic." Dave mumbled. "At least you have someone."
"What's worse? Having your heart broken by someone who you cared about, but eventually finding love with someone else, or having a relationship with someone you love a lot, but never being able to see them?"
"I suppose you have it rough, but you're pretty, you've never had the trouble of finding a guy who likes you!" Dave said.
Bridgette blushed. "Well, I don't know about beautiful...but-"
"Guys, I see the cave. Trent said, pointing to the cave which was a mere five yards away. The three finished pushing the couch, stopping a few feet outside of the mouth of the cave.
"I see someone!" Bridgette suddenly shouted. "Quick, unfold the couch!" She ordered. Trent and Dave did so and all three of them looked up into the sky to see who it was.
"I think it's..." Dave couldn't finish his sentence because Sky had fallen directly into him. Her parachute suddenly opened, covering he two.
"Late shoot." Bridgette observed. "Are you okay?" She asked, dragging the parachute off of them. As soon as it was off she saw something that she couldn't believe.
Sky was on top of Dave, her lips millimeters away from Dave's. She blushed and quickly stood up and brushed the dirt from her pants. "Um...sorry about that, my parachute wouldn't open until just now."
Dave was still on the ground, eyes wide in some sort of trance. "Um...I'm gonna go and get the statue now." Sky said, trying to avert the attention from her crash on top of Dave.
She hurried into the cave and quickly ran out as three mutant gophers rushed towards her. Although they were blind, they could sense where Sky was, and they knew she was too close to their cave. One of the gophers let out a squeal, telling Sky to back off.
"What do I do?" Sky asked frantically.
"I've got an idea!" Trent said. "But Dave's not gonna like it."
That snapped Dave out of his trance. "Wait, what?" He asked as Trent picked him up and ran towards the mutated gophers. "What are you doing?" Dave shrieked.
"Securing the win!" Trent said. The musician dropped Dave a few feet from Sky and ripped one of his shoes from his foot.
"Hey! I need my shoe! What if I contract some sort of foot fungus? Or worse, jungle rot!" Dave cried.
"Dude, you still have your sock on." Trent reminded him.
"Oh yeah." Dave remembered.
"Hey gophers!" Trent hollered, successfully gaining the attention of said gophers. He held up Dave's shoe and tossed it at the gophers.
The gophers sniffed the shoe and recoiled, clearly disgusted. "Hey! My shoes are not stinky! I clean them twice daily with special shoe sanitizer!" Dave complained.
"Exactly, I could smell that stuff on your shoes the entire way here, it smells awful!" Trent said. "I figured since the gophers are blind, their other senses are stronger, including their smell. If I thought that shoe sanitizer smelled bad, then it would really irritate them!"
Dave ignored Trent's explanation and ran to get his shoe back. The gophers realized he was too close to their cave, and squealed at him. Dave let out a scream and the three gophers began to chase after him, allowing Sky to rush in and grab one of the gopher statues.
Trent quickly picked up Dave's shoe and held it up for Dave to see. The Germophobe saw his shoe and ran towards Trent, who was far enough from the cave that the gophers left to head back to their domain.
"Yes! Good thinking Trent, I got the statue!" Sky said, holding it up. Trent tossed Dave his shoe and they headed for the trail back to camp, a shocked Bridgette in tow.
As they left, Heather and Dawn of The Wind-Seekers finally managed to push their couch towards the cave. Dawn hadn't said anything the entire way, in fact, she hadn't even had her eyes open, which frightened Heather a little bit.
"Yo, creepy aura girl, are you gonna help me unfold this couch or are you just gonna stand there like a hippy?" Heather asked rudely.
"The couch is already unfolded." Dawn said, motioning to the couch, which was indeed unfolded. Heather leaped back in shock.
"How'd you do that?!" Heather gasped.
Before Dawn could answer, Katie and Sadie both came falling from the sky, letting off high-pitched screams. Dawn sat on one of the arms of the couch in lotus position as both Katie and Sadie landed with a thud on the couch. Dawn didn't even flinch.
Heather's eyes got wide and she took a step back. "Go get the statue already!" She ordered Katie and Sadie. "I don't want to have to spend another unnecessary minute with creepy girl." She said, jabbing a thumb at Dawn.
(Outhouse Confessional- Creepy Confessional)
Dawn- "I've been called creepy before, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. If being creepy means saving Mother Earth, than I'd marry Quasimodo!" She giggled.
Heather- "Okay, so at first I didn't believe Dawn could read auras, but now I don't care! She's seriously freaking me out and she needs to leave, now! But not before Alejandro, mind you."
Katie & Sadie – Katie- "Omigosh, those gophers were so scary! How did Chris make those?" She asked.
Sadie- "Oh, so scary!" Sadie agreed. "I think they were part of the island when Chris made it all gross."
Katie- "Omigosh, you're so right! Sadie's the smartest girl I know!" Katie giggled. "And the prettiest!"
Sadie- "No, you're the smartest girl I know! And you're the prettiest!" Sadie said.
Courtney- She's banging on the door of the outhouse. "Would you hurry up! Some of us want a turn to vent!" She hollered, causing Katie and Sadie to yelp hide (which wasn't very successful).
Sadie waved her hands in the air, distracting the gophers. "You want a piece of me?" She asked the gophers. All three of the mutants shook their heads and Sadie gasped. "That's not very nice! Why don't you want me?"
"Sadie, you shouldn't hit on mutant gophers," Katie scolded, "They don't know what they're getting into. They can't do commitments." She said matter-of-factly.
"Katie! Go get the stupid statue already!" Heather shouted.
Katie yelped and rushed into the cave. She came out with the golden Chris statue. "Look! I got it!" She exclaimed.
"Oh, good job, Katie!" Sadie cheered. The three gophers looked over to see Katie near their cave with the statue. All three of them let out a loud squeal and ran for Katie, who screamed and ran away.
The thin BFFFL leaped over the couch, followed by Sadie. Heather was already hiding behind the sofa and the two BFFFL's joined her. "What do we do?" Sadie whispered.
The three mutant gophers began clawing at the couch. Dawn completely ignored the gophers and continued meditating on the arm.
Dawn opened her eyes and saw the gophers. She smiled and began scratching one of the gophers behind the ear. It let out a delighted squeal. "There, there little creature of the earth. Even mutation can't keep you from being beautiful." Dawn cooed.
Heather, Katie, and Sadie watched wide-eyed as the gopher acted like a puppy. Dawn picked up a stick and waved it in front of the gophers. "Go and get it!" She said.
Dawn tossed the stick into the cave and all three gophers ran after it. "Let's go!" Heather hissed. She yanked Dawn's arm and dragged her through the trail with Katie and Sadie.
One of the gophers snatched the stick in its mouth and ran out of the cave happily. It looked around for Dawn so she could throw it again, but she was gone. The gopher dropped the stick and snapped it in half, storming back into the cave.
(Outhouse Confessional- Poor Gopher)
Dawn- "If Heather hadn't dragged me away, I would've kept playing with that sweet creature for hours!" She giggled. "But Heather's right, if I want to save the little creature and all of his mutant friends, I need to focus on the competition to get the money."
(The Altitude- Parachutists)
Ezekiel, Duncan, and Ella sat in the the plane, waiting for the next drop zone. "So, who's up next, eh?" Ezekiel asked.
"What was Sky thinking? I was supposed to go next, but she just had to jump right out of the plane." Duncan grumbled.
"Um...you were hanging out of the plane until Ella and I helped you up, eh." Ezekiel reminded him.
"Say, where is that singing weirdo?" Duncan asked.
"She joomped out of the plane a couple minutes agoo." Ezekiel answered, jabbing a thumb at the door.
"Oh come on!" Duncan complained.
(The Altitude- Jasmine, Harold, and Geoff)
"So, who do ya think is gonna jump here?" Jasmine asked, trying to make conversation. She, Geoff and Harold unfolded the sofa once they were at the top of the large snowy mountaintop.
"I don't...c-care." Harold breathed heavily. "The lack of air at this altitude and the force to push this couch up here have made me lose all air in my lungs!" The ubber nerd collapsed on the unfolded couch.
"Um, Harold dude, I wouldn't lay down on the couch..." Geoff warned.
"Why not? I'm not gonna lay in the snow! Gosh!" Harold said, slightly irked. "You probably just want the couch for yourself!"
"No way dude! I was gonna warn you about-"
Geoff was interrupted when Ella came parachuting down. Although the parachute slowed her fall, it was still enough force to accidentally stab Harold in the back with the point of her shoe.
"Oh my!" Ella exclaimed, tossing the parachute into the snow. "Are you alright Harold Norbert Doris McGrady III?" She asked politely.
"Who told you that?" Harold asked.
"Why you did silly, you said it in the confessional a couple seasons ago!" She giggled. "Anyway, are you alright?"
"Thank you for asking, other than the sharp pain in my back, I'm fine! I've caught my breath too!" Harold said.
"E-Ella, would you m-mind h-hurrying up?" Jasmine asked, shivering. "The snow is...kinda c-cold!"
"Yeah dude, get the statue, it's over th-there!" Geoff said, pointing to the Chris alter a couple yards away from them.
Ella began to sing up the scale as she danced her way to the Chris alter. Once there, Sasquatchanakwa jumped out from no where and growled at the singer.
"Hello mister Sasquatch! Have you looked at my watch? If you will, you will know that the time. Is. TWEEEEEEEEELVE!" Ella sang, causing Geoff and Jasmine to cover their ears.
Unfortunately, that last note was loud, and very high-pitched. The ground shook and rumbled. Everyone looked up to see a mountains worth of snow tumbling down towards them.
"AVALANCHE!" Jasmine screamed. She, Geoff and Harold tried to run out of the way, but they weren't fast enough. The mountain of snow plowed over them, the yeti and Ella.
Ella popped out of the snow, followed by Geoff, Jasmine and Harold. "Gosh! Was that necessary?" Harold asked angrily.
"Sorry! Oh, where is that statue?" Ella wondered, trying to look through the snow.
Suddenly, Amy came falling from the sky and landed face-first in the snow. Seconds later she popped up and shook the snow from her now blue face. "Dakota! Stupid weirdo shoved me out of the plane!" She shouted.
Amy kicked the snow in anger and ended up hitting something hard. "Ow!" She shrieked, holding her pained foot. She grabbed what she had kicked and found it was a Chris statue. "Oh, that was easy." She grinned.
Jo and Brick suddenly arrived. "So the alliance is on, right?" Jo asked Brick. The Army cadet nodded. Jo looked up to see the mountaintop covered in snow, Amy standing on top with a Chris statue. "What the...?"
"I got the statue!" Amy grinned. She jumped from the snow pile and landed in front of Jo and Brick.
"Well that was easy!" Jo shrugged. She, Brick and Amy left the mountaintop and headed back for camp while Jasmine, Geoff and Harold groaned.
"Oh Mister Yeti! Could you help me find the Chris statue? Mister yeti?" Ella called out, getting no response.
(Outhouse Confessional- Poor Yeti)
Jo- "Surprisingly, Brick agreed to my alliance with no problems! Although I don't trust him quite yet, if he agreed that easily, he might be up to something..."
Brick- "Okay, I figured Jo would try to form an alliance with me, so I'm gonna keep my eye on that soldier! If she leaves a man behind again, she'll have to answer to me!"
Geoff- "Jasmine's pretty cool, if we weren't dating different people, I might be into her! But I'm not gonna betray my Bridgie-bear!"
Samey- "I had to spend an hour with Rodney and Alejandro, and neither of them said a thing! Great work Jo." She sighed. "At least I was able to leave and go take a shower once Dakota got the statue."
Alejandro- "I know I need someone in my alliance against Heather, but Rodney will simply not do. That blubbering waste-bucket is useless! I would have tried Samey, but I could tell she had her eyes on someone else...but I'm not sure who."
(The Wind-Seekers- Parachutists)
Dakota and Max sat in the plane, waiting for the drop zone. Earlier, Dakota had finally managed to push Amy out of the plane.
"Stupid cheerleader, you'd think she would take one for the team!" She joked.
"Well, I can assure you that you'd never see me getting pushed out of a plane." Max said. "It's not gonna happen."
"Then maybe I should go last so I can push you out." Dakota grinned.
Max looked worried and he cleared his throat. "I meant to say, that I will willingly jump out of this plane last! You can go first!" He said.
Dakota rolled her eyes and grabbed a parachute. She looked down onto the island. She could see the volcano approaching, and it looked really small!
"Well, here I go!" Dakota said.
She yanked open the door and the noise of rushing wind filled the air. "Oh, this is so much worse than I thought!" She screamed as she fell. "I hate you Chris!"
"Perhaps she shouldn't get so worked up, it could be bad for her health." Max said to the intern who was by the crate of parachutes. "Say, is it just me or is Dakota getting bigger?"
Indeed, Dakota was getting bigger. A tail shot from her rear, effectively ripping her clothes. Her shirt was reduced to a pink rag as she continued to grow to her Dakotazoid size. Her hair shrank up and turned green, ending in a spiky style. Her collarbones grew larger and began to sharpen as they shot from her neck. Dakota's skin grew more orange, and her eyes turned yellow. Her nails grew into claws on both her feet and hands, utterly decimating her tiny pink shoes. The parachute bag on her back ripped and fell off.
Dakotazoid let out an angry roar as she hurdled closer and closer to the volcano's crater. "Chris gonna pay for making Dakota jump from plane!" She growled.
Dakota soon fell into the volcano's crater, nearing the lava below. The net from the first challenge was still there, but it certainly wouldn't hold Dakotazoid. She reached out her arms and legs, and soon, they touched the walls of the volcano.
Dust rolled off of her hands and feet as the friction caused her to slow down, and eventually stop. "Whew, Dakota safe, Dakota relaxed." She said, and suddenly realized she would be returning back to her Dakota self,.
As she began to shrink, she panicked, wondering what she could do. Soon, she would be falling into lava (let's face it, that net couldn't even hold Cameron!).
Suddenly, as she began becoming smaller, Duncan screamed and landed on Dakota's head, bouncing off and happening to land on the ledge with the Chris alter. "Ha-ha! Nice!" He grinned wickedly. He ran over and grabbed his statue. "Thanks for the help, sucka'!" He cackled.
As the punk found the rope that lead out of the volcano, Dakota began to grow angry. "No fair! Duncan use Dakota to win statue?!" She growled. Now that she was mad, she began to grow again, and she was now Dakotazoid once more.
She leaped up from her position in the crater and landed with a very hard thud on the ledge. The ground began cracking, and although her brain had gotten slower, she new the ledge wouldn't hold for long.
Dakotazoid quickly grabbed the second Chris statue and launched herself from the ledge, up onto the lip of the volcano. "That was close one!" Dakota exclaimed.
Now that she was out of harms way, she began to grow smaller again. Her tail retracted into her rear and her claws reformed back into nails. Her hair grew long and blond again, and her collarbones shortened back into her shoulders. Her returned to it's normal tan and her eyes were no longer yellow.
"Oh! Now my clothes are shredded again!" She sighed, looking at her pink outfit. Her pants now looked like a bikini bottom with strips of fabric hanging off, whereas her top barely covered her breasts. "Oh crap!" She exclaimed, covering her breasts. She slid down the side of the volcano, taking a cooled lava path, which was surprisingly smooth. When she came to the bottom Rodney saw her.
He gasped and saw Dakota covering her unmentionables. His eyes formed into hearts and a vision of Dakota surrounded by cherubs filled his head. "Beautiful..." He mumbled.
Dakota looked at him in terror and quickly ran away to her cabin to get new, non-shredded clothes.
(Outhouse Confessional- Rodney, Rodney, Rodney)
Rodney- "I never knew Dakota and I had something so special! And her in that bikini, or at least I think it was, was so gorgeous! I never knew it was this easy to get to second base with two girls!" He gasped.
Dakota- "That was a close one, if Rodney had seen my boobs, I think I would have turned back in to Dakotazoid, which means I would have been completely naked!" She exclaimed. "I'm glad I brought lots of pairs of clothes."
Duncan- "Wow, who knew Dakota could be useful when she goes Dakotazoid! Wait till her team finds out she helped me!" He chuckled.
Samey- "They didn't even land on the couches!" She shouted. "All that hard pushing for nothing! Ugh, I'm going to take a shower." Samey kicked open the door and stormed out of the confessional.
(The Wind-Seekers- Max)
Max was the last one left up in the plane. He looked out the window and saw the island far, far, far below. "You know what, I think I'll just stay up here." Max said sheepishly, tapping the tips of his fingers together.
The intern shook his head. "Code blue!" He hollered. Max looked at him, confused. The intern slid the door open and held onto the door frame.
"What are you doing that for?" Max asked. Suddenly, the plane tilted to one side, the force sending Max flying out the door. "Waaaaaaah!" He screamed. He looked below him and saw the cliff. "Please land in the water, please land in the water!" He pleaded.
He looked up and saw Ezekiel falling above him. "What the?"
"My plane dumped me out too, eh." He said as they both fell through the sky. Ezekiel pinned his toque to his head so it didn't fall off.
Ezekiel fell past Max and the self proclaimed evil genius hit the cliff and spun out of control. "Owie!" He whined as he landed in the water, shortly after Ezekiel.
Ezekiel leaped out of the water screaming. "Ow!" he shouted as an electric eel shocked his butt. Ezekiel clung to the buoy of which the Chris statues sat on. He picked up one of them as Max leaped out of the water with an electric eel wrapped around his leg.
Max crashed into the buoy, knocking it upside down. "No! My statue!" Max shrieked, trying to grab it. Ezekiel quickly swam to the shore, causing a couple eels to shock him.
"I did it, eh!" Ezekiel shouted. "I did it!" He quickly ran towards camp as Max washed up on shore, empty-handed. Three eels were wrapped around him, one around his waist, and the other two around his legs. They all shocked him at once and Max finally managed to rip them from his charred body.
"So much hurting!" He whimpered.
(Bonfire Pit)
All of the campers sat on the stumps at the bonfire pit, awaiting Chris's announcement. "Alright campers, a very interesting challenge has been waged today!" Chris said. "But only one team came out victorious. And that team was...The Wind-Seekers!"
The members of The Wind-Seekers let out cheers and cries of joy. Dawn and Dakota high-fived, while Scarlett and Eva grinned at each other.
"Yes-sir-ee, with a score of 3 Chris idols to 4, The Altitude are today's big losers! I'll be seeing you at the elimination ceremony tonight. Until then, feel free to grab some grub at the Mess Hall, take a shower, or relax in your cabins." Chris said, and walked off.
"I told you we'd win." Jo grinned. Her team rolled their eyes and left.
(Outhouse Confessional- Did we win?)
Jasmine- "Yeah, it kinda sucks to lose again, but I did a pretty good job today, so I think I'll be safe. As long as there's no penalty for losing, besides elimination ceremonies, I'm content." She shrugged.
Sky- "I hate elimination ceremonies, but at least I've got a pretty good idea of who to vote for."
Dave- "Alright, I promised myself I wouldn't vote for Sky this time, because I have other plans to make her stay here miserable, so I've gotta vote for someone else."
(Pahkitew Island Mess Hall)
Jasmine sat at one of the wooden tables. Only about seven other people were in the Mess Hall with her, so it was pretty empty.
The Aussie survivalist sighed and picked at her food. "I would kill for some real food." She sighed.
"Hey! My food isn't that bad!" Chef hollered.
"I've eaten better grubs in the Outback!" Jasmine argued. "Trust me your food it bad."
"I bet I could try some of it and it wouldn't be that bad." Chef said, rolling his eyes. He grabbed a spoonful of what looked like purple intestines. He shoved it in his mouth and began chewing.
Jasmine looked at her watch. Four seconds. Suddenly, Chef's cheeks bulged and Chef's face was taken over by a look of disgust. He ran for the garbage can in the kitchen and began puking his guts out.
"Told ya." Jasmine chuckled.
Suddenly, Geoff walked over, munching on a bag of chips. "What up, babe?" He asked.
"You have chips! Where did you get those chips?" Jasmine asked.
"I brought some in case Chef was cooking again." Geoff chuckled. "Want one?"
"Of course! All I've had for a week is gruel!" She cringed at the word. She took a handful of chips from the bag and began to munch on them. "You're not the crazy party boy I made you out to be, you're pretty cool!" She chuckled. They both looked at each other and smiled.
(Outhouse Confessional- Friendship!)
Anne Maria- "B's lucky I couldn't think of anything to do to him when we were pushing that couch." She snarled. "I can't believe Duncan landed and got the statue before we got there!" She huffed.
B- He shrugs his shoulders but says nothing.
Noah- "Luckily, my plan worked. I figured if I said nothing to Cody, and did nothing but push the couch, there'd be nothing for the fan-girls to go crazy over!" He grinned. "Yep, all I had to do was push." He suddenly realizes what he just said. "Oh crap! That's not what I meant! Ugh, you dirty-minded fan-girls."
(Communal Washrooms)
Noah slowly entered the men's side of the communal washrooms. "Hello?" He asked. He suddenly saw Duncan motioning for him to come into the washrooms.
Noah did as told. "So, what do you want?" he asked Duncan , Geoff and Cody.
"Well, you're in the guys alliance, and you're on our team and we lost. So, we need to figure out who to vote off." Duncan said."
"How about Bridgette?" Noah smirked.
"No!" Geoff quickly shouted.
Duncan rolled his eyes. "Geoff made us promise we wouldn't vote off Bridgette." he said. "Anyway, I think I've got a pretty good idea of who we should vote off."
He leaned in close to them and whispered the name into their ears. Noah shrugged. "Myeh, I won't miss 'em." He said. "I'll vote for her."
"She's not much use to our team, I'll vote her off I guess." Geoff agreed.
"If you guys say so." Cody shrugged.
"Then it's agreed. I'll see you boys at the campfire." Duncan nodded and left the washrooms.
The sky had grown dark, and all 34 contestants sat on the wooden stumps at the bonfire pit, the fire crackling in front of them. Chris stood behind an oil drum as the traditional Total Drama elimination music no doubt played from some undisclosed location.
"Welcome campers to the third elimination ceremony!" Chris greeted.
"I don't think that's something to be very proud of." Noah smirked.
Chris ignored him. "Alright, the first seventeen marshmallows go to The Wind-Seekers!" Chris announced. The host tossed marshmallows to all of the jumpers first, and then the couch pushers.
Dawn sat cross-legged on her stump and caught her marshmallow gladly. Dakota let out a silent cheer when she caught her's and the two girls high-fived again.
Amy snatched Samey's marshmallow before it could land in her hands and gobbled it down. Brick saw this and leaned over to give his marshmallow to Samey.
"Thank you!" Samey giggled.
Once the rest of The Wind-Seekers caught their marshmallows, it was time to move on. "Alright campers, the next marshmallows go to those who received no votes! Geoff, Jasmine, Harold, Bridgette, and Trent."
All five of them were tossed the fluffy treats. Jasmine and Shawn fist-bumped, leaving Bridgette slightly disappointed, at least until Geoff turned around and pecked her on the cheek. Harold pumped a fist and Trent caught his gladly.
"Next up are the love triangle-ers." Chris said. "Duncan, Courtney and Scott!"
"Seriously! Stop calling it that! It is not an—AGH!" Courtney shouted.
"Dave and Sky!" Chris called out, tossing marshmallows to both of them. Sky breathed a sigh of relief and Dave quickly sanitized his hands before catching his marshmallow.
"Ezekiel, Gwen, Noah and Cody!" Chris read off. Ezekiel and Gwen caught theirs grinning, while Noah glared down an oblivious Cody.
B, Anne Maria and Ella all looked very nervous. "The next marshmallow goes to...B." Chris said. The silent inventor breathed a sigh of relief (sort of) and caught his marshmallow.
"That leaves us with these two ladies." Chris said. "Ella and Anne Maria. One of you has spent your last day on Total Drama Unfinished Business."
Anne Maria furiously filed her nails, awaiting who would be eliminated. Ella nervously clenched her fists.
"And the final marshmallow goes to..."
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"Anne Maria." Chris said. He flung the marshmallow to the beauty queen and dropped his tray.
"Yes! I'm finally free of her singing!" Chris cheered, dancing around like a weirdo.
Gwen grinned and quickly pulled out Courtney's PDA from the CIT's pocket. "Hey!" Courtney protested. She then saw Gwen taking video of Chris and grinned.
"We're putting that on the wiki." Courtney grinned.
"Oh! And we can get it to Sierra so she can put it on her blogs." Gwen chuckled.
"Hey! Stop that video or I'll take away that PDA!" Chris threatened.
"Sorry, but that would be against contract." Courtney grinned.
Chris rolled his eyes and stopped dancing. Gwen shrugged and saved the video and handed the PDA back to Courtney. "Call that blackmail." She smirked.
Chris sighed in frustration. "Whatever, princess Ella is going home!" He announced.
Ella looked devastated. She then sighed. "I accept my elimination. It was because of me that many members of my team were buried in snow." She nodded.
"Quick, let's get her to the Boot of Shame before she does another musical number!" Chris shouted.
Ella stood on the large red X in front of the Boot of shame, which was currently in dormant position.
"Normally I'd say: Any last words? But I don't want to hear any singing, so it's time to shove off!" He declared, and with that, he pressed the red button on his remote.
The giant army boot swung down powered by rockets and kicked Ella directly off the island, and towards the silhouetted cruise ship in the distance.
As she soared through the night, instead of a scream, she sang an "Aaaaaaaaaaaaah".
"That's so relieving." Chris sighed happily. He then turned to the camera. "Find out what this season's first Virtual Reality challenge is when we returned on next week's episode of...Total...Drama...Unfinished Business!"
(Voting Confessionals)
Dave- "If I can't vote for Sky, then I'm gonna vote for Ella. She's slow in challenges and her singing is kind of annoying." He shrugged.
Duncan- "This guys alliance is off to a good start. If Cody, Geoff and Noah know what's good for them, they'll vote for Ella."
Sky- "I hate to say it, but I've gotta vote Ella. She takes too much time in challenges and her singing isn't always helpful, like in today's challenge."
Scott- He's got several bruises and scratched all over him, along with a head bandage and his arm is in a sling. "I'm g-gonna...vote for...blood loss...Duncan." He mumbled.
Ella- "It's hard to decide who to vote for, but I think I'll vote for Anne Maria because her hair kind of scares me! Of course I don't expect anyone to vote with me, so it's all in good spirits." She giggled.
Bridgette- "At first I was gonna vote for Jasmine because it looked like she was getting to close to Geoff." She sighed. "But I think they're just friends, so I'll vote for...Anne Maria. Her sassy attitude isn't something I'd care to keep around."
Ezekiel- "I dunno who to vote fur, eh." He shrugged. "I guess I'll vote fur Anne Maria. She kinda scares me when she's mad, eh." He said, clinging to his soggy toque.
Trent- "I don't want to vote for anyone, so I'm just gonna vote for myself. I think I did a pretty good job anyway, so I doubt anyone will vote me off. And if they do, then so be it, this place sucks anyway." He shrugged.
Geoff- "Duncan says to vote Ella! I was on her team in the first challenge, and she's cool, but I agree, she's not much of an asset to us."
Gwen- "I'm voting for Duncan because he was a terrible boyfriend. Courtney's way better than him." She rolled her eyes.
Courtney- "Duncan. He's annoying and he's turned into such a jerk! Not to mention I'll never forgive him for cheating on me! I suppose you could say Scott's winning the love triangle right now, but it's not a love triangle!" She shouted.
Jasmine- "I'm gonna have to vote for Ella. She did cover me in snow, which was very cold. Sorry Ella." She shrugged.
Cody- "Duncan said we're voting for Ella. She's kinda hot, but not really by type." He shrugged.
B- Once again, he says nothing, but he holds up a picture of Anne Maria.
Harold- "Ella covered me in snow and stabbed me in the back with the tip of her shoe. I find it reasonable to vote her off, so I don't feel very sorry." He shrugged.
Anne Maria- ""I'm votin' for B cause I'm still mad about the paint! I think I can forgive him once I figure out what to do to him." She said, thinking.
Noah- "Duncan told me to vote for Ella, but I'm not going to. He's already got himself, Geoff, and Cody voting for her. And after hearing about the avalanche that she caused, she'll probably have more voters. I'm going to vote for Cody, because I'm NOT gay!" He shouted.
Votes
Dave- Ella
Duncan- Ella
Sky- Ella
Scott- Duncan
Ella- Anne Maria
Bridgette- Anne Maria
Ezekiel- Anne Maria
Geoff- Ella
Trent- Trent
Gwen- Duncan
Courtney- Duncan
Jasmine- Ella
Cody- Ella
B- Anne Maria
Harold- Ella
Anne Maria- B
Noah- Cody
– –
Ella- 7
Anne Maria- 4
Duncan- 3
Trent- 1
B- 1
Cody- 1
– –
Voted Off – Topher, DJ, Ella
Reason: Ella's a fun character, especially when she annoys Chris. However, the only real plot I could think of would be her and Dave, but because I have plans for the Dave and Sky love train, she had to go. Another reason is that it is impossible for me to write her singing as you might have noticed. If you're an Ella fan, stay tuned for the Bonus Episodes, because she'll be appearing in those!
Next- I can't believe it's not real life! Or butter!