Disclaimer- I do not own any of the Total Drama characters that I choose to torture—I mean put in the story! They are merely here for mine, and your amusement. No profit is being made off of this (No one would would stoop as low as to pay me for this anyway) I give all credit to the creators of Total Drama, as well as Johnny Depp, because...well, he's Johnny Depp!
Notes From The Depths of Vampirism- I must apologize for being really late with this one. I know you guys love updates and wish they'd be out faster but sometimes the creative flow just isn't there and I don't want to give you guys something that I'm not proud of. My entire month of June was consumed by summer school because my school district thought it'd be a great idea to force everyone to take three credits of gym and one credit of health, and no way am I doing all that crap during the school year! Ain't nobody got time for that! (There's your daily dose of memes)
I'm definitely addicted to Overwatch now, so that's a thing. I'm also not gonna lie, I've been really lazy this summer. There's no excuse for that but I'm so glad to see you guys continue to review, favorite and follow this story! It means so much to me and definitely makes for good motivation to get back to working on this!
It's so incredible to hear from all of you and learn that I've actually been an inspiration for you to write your own stories which I find unbelievable (I mean, me? An inspiration? I'd sooner believe Heather was actually a nice person deep down inside!) I promise this story isn't going anywhere, but I can't promise when I'll be bringing you new episodes because I just don't know.
I also wanted to mention that I'm going to be changing some things up, starting with my other stories. I'm really not happy with how my Ridonculous Race story was going, so I've taken it down and have plans to revamp it in the future. Luckily I only had two episodes written so it's not a huge loss. I'm also currently working on some other surprises but those will remain as such for now because I want this story to be my main focus.
Also, HAVE Y'ALL HEARD? Total Drama was renewed for another season! Nothing's known about it and it won't be coming for a while, but I'm super excited that the show's not dead! The only info we've been given is that contestants will be returning from TDI. Hmm, maybe Noah was onto something...
PhenomsServant- You're right, tis a shame you won't be reading anymore (Eh, you're probably not even reading this) I enjoyed your constructive and sometimes witty reviews. I hope you find another good story that never updates :D
Corbinace- Quite disappointing indeed. Almost as disappointing as the Sisters not winning the Ridonculous Race.
Yeezynight14- Don't you worry my friend, we're still going! Maybe not as strong as Chuck Norris...more like the little engine that could(n't?) I'm glad my updates bring you joy and that you weren't too disappointed with Gwen's elimination :D
Richboylion- Thanks for the idea but I've already got all the challenges planned out at this point. I also never was much of a Power Ranger fan (sorryplsdonthurtme) but I did hear the new movie wasn't too bad. Maybe I'll check it out sometime.
FOWLKON- I'm glad you enjoyed the initiation, it was incredibly fun to write. Sugar didn't make an appearance during the challenge because Chris and Chef were center stage and she'd surely be removed from the island, and we can't have that now can we? At this point I have no idea how the Ridonculous Race fits into this timeline but yeah, let's just say Noah is dating Emma. Darnit, now that you brought up the idea of Scott beheading the Chris statue, I really want to write it! That'd definitely be hilarious! XD Your eating challenge sounds interesting but I've already got all the challenges planned out :/ (Little spoiler alert here, but I'm in the early planning stages of another competition fic and this idea might just work. Shh don't tell anyone!)
DSX62415- Don't worry, I'm sure the episodes will be up on YouTube at some point. If not, just do some lurking around online, you might find them there.
Guest- Harold doesn't really get much interaction with the ladies (as much as he wouldn't admit it) so if he sees Izzy's underwear, he's gonna be grinning. He definitely loves Leshawna but he'll take what he can get. I mean, you saw him after seeing Heather's...unmentionables. Let's just hope Leshawna doesn't find out or you might be right o_o
Joel Connell- Thanks for the lengthy review, I sure do love those! I'm glad you enjoyed all the talents and your speculation as to what could happen next is very interesting.
FireFlamerx9z- I'm glad to see a new reader! As for Noah and Emma, I'm gonna go ahead and say they're dating, but I try not to bring anything up from the Ridonculous Race because it just complicates things XD at this point I don't really know where it fits in with the Total Drama timeline. Also, I came across your story Total Drama Revenge of Pahkitew Island and it means so much that you see me as an inspiration! So far your story seems pretty interesting. It could use a bit of grammatical work, but otherwise it's pretty good! I look forward to what more you have in store! :D
NerdyNightStocker- Yeah, it's a shame that some people will stop reading a story soley because their favorite character was eliminated, but I'm sure they won't make a different. Glad to see you saw the reason behind it and you're right, Gwen hobbling around would get stale to read and to write!
Codammy Forever- I'm glad you're on the edge of your seat about Cody and Samey because the love train will be departing soon ;) Sugar didn't crash the talent show because Chris and Chef were right there and she'd have easily been removed from the island. Remember, Sugar's smarter than she appears to be. I'm sure that didn't stop her from rehearsing somewhere in the woods (Far away from anyone's poor ears).
Jose-B-DragonMarino- I prefer to leave things from Ridonculous Race ambiguous as it always seems to complicate things later on. I definitely love Nemma but I just found it easier to leave that detail out.
Great Idea Alert- Man, where were you when I started this story! You definitely live up to your title! Thanks for the ideas and I'll be sure to use some of them! Also, don't worry, I recently got into Rick and Morty and have to say it is a masterpiece. There will definitely be references flowing in from that in the near future (Mulan McNugget sauce included)
CMR Rosa- Yeah, I do feel like I've dragged it out a bit too long, but a conclusion will be coming very soon, I promise.
BrandonKR- Well, there's a reason people hate him. He went totally psycho after Sky 'broke up' with him, but yeah, he's quite good at poetry, gotta give him props for that.
TimeLord2099- Nice! Glad to see you've distinguished yourself :D (makes it way easier for me too!) I'm not gonna lie, I love Izzy, Noah, and Owen and they just seem to be the perfect comic relief! As for Noah, he knows there are people who care about him, but he's more referring to most of the other contestants. He knows they're only out for themselves. He knows he's not going to make any special bonds with them like he's done with Izzy and Owen (and Eva kind of). I do see what you're saying abut him being more mean-spirited, I'll try to tone that down a bit.
TheBlueAzuru- Oh don't worry about it, I've gotten stranger reviews let me tell you! I will definitely admit that this was a lot like Kobold Necromancer's stories but I'm glad I was able to establish it as something of my own! I also see what you mean about "They jabbed a thumb" I'll work on that. I am quite excited for the new Total Drama season and I eagerly await more details! I like to refrain from real world entities, but I usually make parallels to them, so I guess you'll have to wait and see who Samey's favorite band might be ;) I Also, I have to thank you for 'yelling' at me to basically get off my lazy arse in your first review XD it's what actually got me focused on getting this updated!
So with all that review stuff out of the way, it's time to hoist the colors ya bloomin' cockroaches! We're settin' sail for adventure, treasure, and maybe a fine wench while we're at it! /Whack/ Ow! Okay, fine, forget the wench part...
*Nobody cares about the day (at least I don't) and the chapter number can be found in the drop down menu so...
Episode 20 – Pirates of the Canadian: At Wit's End
"Last time on Total Drama Unfinished Business!" Chris opened the episode on footage from the previous. "We pitted our twenty-two remaining campers against each other in a high-stakes brawl above the water!" The contestants were shown standing on top of the rock pillars with their dueling sticks. "Harold and Izzy were somehow the winners and got to choose who they wanted for their official teams! That's right, from here on out until the merge, it's teamwork makes the dream work!" He chuckled.
"They were then tasked with a Total Drama favorite, the Talent Show competition!" The host continued with footage of the various failed auditions. "There was good," Courtney's solo was shown, "There was bad," Amy and Samey's cheerleading routine was played, "And there was psycho-Dave!" He exclaimed as Dave was shown freaking at the end of his poem.
"In the end, Team Kihew stole victory, yet one of their own was sent packing when Gwen was deemed too injured to compete further!" The goth was shown saying goodbye to her friends as she was taken away on the Boat of Losers rather than the Boot of Shame.
"How will Trent fare without his girlfriend? Are Scarlett and Amy really going to team up? And what is Duncan up to? All this and more on this week's episode of...Total...Drama...Unfinished Business!" The host declared on a wide shot of the island.
xxx
Dear mom and dad I'm doin' fine;
You guys are on my mind!
You asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
I wanna be...famous!
I wanna live close to the sun!
Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won!
Everything to prove nothin' in my way;
I'll get there one day!
'Cause I wanna be famous!
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa!)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!
(Whistling)
xxx
Cody sighed as he trudged away from the bonfire pit. She had just left and he missed Gwen already. Sure he was totally into Samey at the moment, but he really felt empty without Gwen. She was his first major crush after all. The two had really become good friends during their time on Total Drama, it was hard for him to see her go out like that.
The geek opened the door to his cabin where Noah and Owen were chilling on their separate beds. "Ol' Cody here got something in the mail!" Owen grinned, winking at him.
"Wait, really?" Cody wondered, rushing over to his bed where a thin package sat on his covers. He undid the string that bound it together and opened it up to find a painting with a note.
Cody picked up the piece of paper and read it. "I know it sucks that I had to go, but here's that present that I promised you and Samey. Think of it as something to remember me by!" Cody read. "Good luck! Sincerely, Gwen."
"Ooh, do you think Gwen is crushing on you now too?" Owen wiggled his eyebrows.
"No!" Cody snapped. "She promised a present for me to help with Samey. This must be it." He said, staring at the marvel in front of him. It was a beautifully done painting of Samey dressed as a pure white Angel. Her eyes were closed as she looked down with a smile. Cody couldn't take his eyes off of the glow around her body.
"So what is it?" Owen asked, looking over Cody's shoulder.
"It's a painting of Samey." Cody answered. "Wow...it's just...beautiful." He marveled.
"So when are you gonna give it to her?" Owen wondered.
"Oh...hmm. I don't know, but I have to find the right time. I really want to ask her out..." Cody contemplated.
"Well you'd better do it soon because you never know when she'll be eliminated." Noah warned him. "This game can have crazy twists."
"You're right, I've gotta do it." Cody nodded. "But when..." He thought.
Trent sighed as he entered the guy's side of the Eagle's cabin. The rest of the guys were already in there getting ready for bed. "Gwen's leaving got you down?" Duncan questioned when he saw Trent walk in.
"Yeah, we were really getting somewhere too." He frowned at the thought. "I feel like I had almost everything fixed but then this happened."
"She was gonna go eventually dude. If this alliance is gonna hold its going to be us to the end." Duncan reminded him.
"Wait, you mean I'm gonna have to vote out Bridgette again?" Geoff exclaimed in shock.
"You seriously didn't think about that?" Duncan looked at him. "The whole point of an alliance is to take us to the end. If that's too hard for you, then I guess you're not gonna make it." Duncan shrugged.
"No no! It's cool! I wanna go to the end!" Geoff said quickly.
(Outhouse Confessional – Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?)
Duncan- "Last time when we did the guy's alliance things fell apart pretty quickly. This time, I'm going to make sure we succeed. That means it's gonna be tight security. If someone can't fulfill the oath, they'll be disposed of." He said confidently.
"But what about Courtney?" Harold asked. "Are you going to get rid of her when the time comes?"
Duncan's eyes popped at the realization. He'd forgotten about her. "Uh...yeah, of course dude. We've gotta do what we've gotta do to win." He answered.
(Outhouse Confessional – Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality)
Duncan- "Crap! I forgot about Courtney! Well...I guess I'll figure that out when I get there. I just can't let the guys know or it'll be the French Revolution all over again..." He tapped his chin in thought. "Huh, that's the only thing I remember from History class...probably because of all the gore!" He grinned. "The rest was boring, that's why I started skipping after that unit..." He recalled.
The sun peeked out above the trees as morning grew. "DID YOU HAVE A GOODNIGHT SLEEP?" Chris suddenly screamed over the intercom. "GOOD! BECAUSE NOW IT'S CHALLENGE TIME! ALL BUTTS TO THE BEACH!"
Groans could be heard in response to the host's early morning wake-up call.
A flash took the scene to the beach where all of the campers were gathered in their respected teams. "Oh good, he's wearing that Pirate crap again." Noah said distastefully.
"Whoa bro, is that parrot real?" Geoff asked, running up to look the parrot in the eye.
The bird sat on Chris's shoulder, looking quite brainless. Its eyes were looking in opposite directions and it seemed to twitch every few seconds. Suddenly the parrot let out a squawk, "LESHAWNA!" It said.
"Hold the phone, did that bird just say my name?" Leshawna narrowed her eyes. "This that fool bird that got me eliminated the first time around? Come here! I'm gonna rip the feathers right off your neck!" She growled, beginning to storm over towards Chris and the parrot before Bridgette and Harold stopped her.
"Whoa! We don't need PETA all over us again!" Chris stepped back.
"Oh, and they're not still on your case about all those mutated animals you've got trapped in the 'funzone'?" Noah raised an eyebrow.
"Shh! We're still fighting for that case!" The host hissed.
(Outhouse Confessional – Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see!)
Dawn- "I am quite hopeful that the animal rights groups will prevail. Someone needs to help those poor creatures." She said. "That's what I plan to do with my winnings should I achieve that goal."
Chris- "Can we get someone to cut that footage? I'm getting sick of those treehuggers knocking on my door and I don't need another reason for them to pay me a visit." He grumbled. "I swear they're as bad as those damn Jehovah Witnesses...Crap cut that footage too!'
"Now that we're all settled," Chris said, the parrot now noticeably absent from his shoulder, "It's time for our challenge!"
"Let me guess, pirates?" Noah rolled his eyes.
"Wow! A-plus! Excellent work! You win a prize!" Chris clapped his hands sarcastically.
"Oh yeah? What do I win?" Noah played along.
"A BIG SACK OF NOTHING!" Chris shouted. "Now shut up and let me finish! For today's challenge, you'll be sailing your way over to Exile Island in search of buried treasure!" He exclaimed with a pirate-y accent. "The first team to bring me back the chest will win immunity and get to decide which two unlucky souls will get to go back to the island for exile!" The host grinned.
"Wait, so are you just doing exile whenever you feel like it then?" Sky asked.
"Yeah pretty much." Chris admitted with a shrug.
"I say we send Sky to exile for being a lying jerk!" Dave grumbled.
"Would you just drop it already?!" Sky exclaimed in anger, whipping around to face him. "We're gonna be forced to work together and if we don't, we're both toast! Got it?" She snapped.
"Whatever." Dave didn't look her in the eye as he kicked a pebble.
(Outhouse Confessional – I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy)
Sky- "I'm officially done with Dave and his whining. This argument has gone on for too long and I don't want to hear it anymore!" She shouted. "If he doesn't want to be a team player then we'll just vote him off, but I for one am not going to give in and be a problem for my team." She said.
"So what will we be sailing on anyway?" Bridgette asked.
"Why, pirate ships of course!" Chris exclaimed with a grin. "And only the finest of ships for pillaging." He said as two large galleons sailed into view. They both looked about the same aside from the figureheads at the front; the one on the left sported a mer-Chef while the one on the right had a mer-Chris.
"Behold, The Queen Chef's Revenge and The McLean's Delight!" Chris declared. All of a sudden a loud explosion came from The McLean's Delight and a cannonball shot towards the dock that stretched out onto the lake a couple of feet away. [1]
The cannonball landed with a loud crunch, taking out a small chunk of the dock before landing in the water. "And you can go ahead and patch that up now!" Chris hollered out to one of the interns who was manning the ship.
"Whoa, where'd you get the money for those!" Harold exclaimed, marveling at the beauty of the two galleons.
"I took a chunk out of the prize money." Chris explained, earning several nasty scowls from the contestants. "What? I'm kidding!"
"Not funny." Eva glared at him.
"Ugh, you guys are no fun." Chris shook his head. "I sold Wawanakwa to some Summer Camp group." He shrugged.
"But...didn't Wawanakwa sink?" Samey wondered.
"Ha! You bet it did!" Chris laughed. "Too bad I won't be there to see their faces when they bring a boat full of kiddies to a big empty lake!"
"I'm pretty sure that violates some sort of law..." Courtney reckoned.
"Won't they want their money back?" Trent asked. "People usually want their money back after getting duped."
"Yeah," Chris answered, still grinning as he wiped a tear from his eye, "We'll cross that bridge when we get there."
"Wow, you are mean." Bridgette shook her head.
"Eh, they can at least teach them how to swim." The host shrugged. "Now, let's give the captain's hats to the captains!" He said, walking over and placing a tricorn captain hat on Harold and Izzy's heads.
"Alright! I feel like Sir Francis Drake!" Harold grinned, adjusting the hat to his liking. "Or Henry Morgan, or Captain Kidd, or Francois L'Olonnais-" He said the last one with a french accent.
"Okay we get it, you know a lot of pirates!" Leshawna threw up her hands.
"Alright! I'm Captain Izzy!" Izzy grinned, picking up a stick from the beach and pointing it at her team like a word. "Now ye better do what I say or ye'll walk the plank!" She warned, donning a pirate accent.
"Quit pointing that at me." Amy complained, inching away from the crazy redhead.
"Now where's the rum?" Izzy questioned.
"Rum? There's no rum. Why would we have rum?" Cody wondered.
"What?! Why is the rum gone?!" Izzy asked, fear on her face.
"Because it's a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels!" Jasmine snapped.
"That, and you guys are under age. No rum for you." Chris added.
"But why is the rum gone..." Izzy asked, still not understanding. [2]
"Just get to your ships." Chris groaned. "You teens are already driving me crazy and it's only morning!"
Team Sisikwew climbed aboard The Queen Chef's Revenge led by Izzy who was still wondering where the rum (that never existed) had gone to. Adjacently, Team Kihew boarded The McLean's Delight lead by a very excited Harold.
"Wow, it even looks like The Bachelor's Delight!" He exclaimed. "Finally, they took the time to appreciate historical accuracy!" The nerd grinned.
"Who cares, all that matters is that we blow their boat to bits." Leshawna said, gesturing to The Queen Chef's Revenge that floated several yards away from them.
"What?" Harold wondered.
"We're gonna shoot cannonballs at them, right?" She wanted to clarify.
"Why would we do that?"
"So they don't get to the treasure?" Leshawna told him as if it was obvious.
"I'm sure we'll find the treasure before them. Thanks to my expert navigation skills." Harold said proudly. "No need to waste ammo."
"The only reason we've got ammo in the first place is to use it against them!" Leshawna shouted in anger.
"But we could be peaceful pirates!" Bridgette chimed in.
As if on cue, a loud boom sounded from the enemy ship. Everyone looked up to see the cannonball rip right through one of their sails.
"STRIKE YER COLORS YA BLOOMIN' COCKROACHES!" Izzy screamed from her ship.
"Ya think we should blast 'em with cannonballs now?" Leshawna looked at the lanky nerd angrily.
"If we must." Harold sighed. "Begin firing to the starboard side!"
A cannonball was suddenly launched in the direction of the dock, creating another gaping hole next to the one from before.
"No! That's the port side! The starboard side! The starboard side!" Harold directed irritably.
"Should we maybe set sail soon captain?" Duncan asked him.
"Good idea! I'll make you my first mate!" Harold told him.
"Then what does that make me?" Leshawna raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms expectantly.
"Uh... you can be my Privateer." Harold answered.
"What about me dude?" Geoff asked.
"Um...Swashbuckler?" Harold shrugged.
"Gnarly dude!" Geoff grinned, running off to go swashbuckle.
"How about me?" Dave walked up, still looking grumpy from earlier.
"You can be a...Witchdoctor." Harold decided.
"Does that mean I have evil magic and voodoo dolls?" He asked.
"Sure, go nuts." Harold rolled his eyes. "The rest of you are buccaneers and musketeers!" He hollered to his crew. "Now fire!"
Cannonfire filled the air as projectiles flew back and forth between the two ships. Several landed with tall splashes just short of the opposite ship.
"I'll commandeer the ship!" Courtney volunteered, running up to the wheel that controlled the ship's movement.
"No way! I'm the captain, that's my job!" Harold denied.
"But I can do it!" Courtney scowled at him.
(Outhouse Confessional – 'Cause I'm easy come, easy go)
Courtney- "I can't believe him!" She pouted. "Just because Chris named him captain doesn't mean he should get to boss us around! Wow, is this what it's like when I take charge?" She wondered. "No. I'm a much better leader than Harold." She told herself. "Agh, I've got to stop letting Amy get to me!"
Over on The Queen Chef's Revenge, Izzy was barking orders to her crew. "Keep firing!" She shouted. "Never cease or they'll take the advantage! Oh, and maybe try to hit them this time!"
"Calm down Captain Crazy, the goal isn't to sink their ship, it's to get the treasure back to Chris." Noah reminded her.
"Yeah, I think you need to calm down..." Jasmine advised.
"Look at this! My own crew is already turning on me!" Izzy teared up. "Mutiny so soon?"
"What? We're not-"
"If ye do not want to be accused of treason than ye'd better obey me orders!" Izzy commanded.
Noah and Jasmine sighed. "Fine." Noah grumbled. He lit a match and put it up to the cannon' wick. The string lit, firing the cannon soon after. The cannonball sailed across the water, colliding with The McLean's Delight, taking off Chris's head from the mermaid figurehead.
"Noo! My beautiful face!" Chris cried from the shore.
"Haha! Bullseye!" Noah grinned
"See! There ya go! All ye needed was a little push!' Izzy patted him on the back. "Now mock them!" The redhead demanded. "It will dampen their spirits and demoralize them! Do it! Do iiit!"
(Outhouse Confessional – Little high, little low)
Owen- "Wow, Izzy can be really scary if you give her too much power..." He gulped.
Noah- "Yeah, she's completely nuts but we're not really losing yet so I guess there's no harm in taking down Chris's ugly mug from the enemy ship." He smirked.
"I've got a jar of dirt!" Izzy taunted them, holding up a glass mason jar filled with dirt. "And you don't! Ha!" She cackled. [3]
"Uh..." The other side was speechless.
"What? Have ye had your tongues pruned?" Izzy jested.
This just made the other team more confused. "Come on! We're confusing them! It's working! Insult them! Taunt them!" Izzy coaxed her team.
"Uh...you're all just a bunch of landlubbers?" Owen tried.
"Salty sea dogs!" Samey shouted, shaking a fist.
"This is ridiculous..." Scarlett shook her head.
"I COMMAND YE OR I'LL KEELHAUL YA!" Izzy threatened.
Scarlett sighed. "I come from hell, and I'll carry you there presently!" She shouted halfheartedly.
"There it is!" The captain grinned. "You'd make a fine buccaneer!"
"Kill me." Scarlett muttered.
"AVAST!" Cody called out. "It appears they've set sail!" The geek said, pointing to the enemy who was now turning towards Exile Island.
"AFTER THEM!" Izzy screamed. "And don't stop pursuit! Dead men tell no tales and I'm not about to swim with the fishes!"
(Outhouse Confessional – Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me...to me.)
Noah- "What did I say? Oh right, I said we should be heading to the island instead of fighting, but does she listen to me? No!" He threw his hands up in annoyance.
Harold struggled to spin the wheel as an unimpressed Courtney looked on in irritation. "Do you want me to do it like I was going to?" The CIT offered.
"Don't worry...I think I got it!" Harold grunted, finally turning the wheel. Once it went around a few times, the nerd managed to get the hang of it and spun the ship, turning it towards Exile Island.
Izzy watched the McLean's Delight pass them by and threw her jar of dirt on the deck in anger, shattering the glass and spilling the soil everywhere. "Get the lead out of your pants and follow them!" Izzy demanded, turning to Eva.
"Yes sir...I mean ma'am...I mean...captain?" Eva wondered how to address her. Izzy stared at her sharply and expectantly. The weight-lifter quickly jogged over to the steering wheel and began turning it with ease.
Now both ships had left the dock and were headed for the smaller island, The McLean's Delight in the front and The Queen Chef's Revenge trailing.
"Now all we have to do is keep our lead and we'll find the treasure first!" Sky grinned energetically. Despite her quarreling with Dave earlier, things were actually going quite well so far.
Just as she said this, the ship began to rock back and forth. "Whoa!" The Gymnast cried, falling to her feet.
"What the-" Leshawna was cut off when a massive pink tentacle sprouted from the water and grabbed hold of the right side of the ship, shaking it even further.
"Holy crap!" Bridgette cried, scrambling to get away from the tentacle mere feet away from her.
"You got some explainin' to do pretty boy!" Leshawna hollered to the host who was sitting on the shore of Pahkitew.
"Oh, did I forget to mention I added some surprises to the waters?" Chris wondered. "Oops." He shrugged.
"If you think I'm about to be some calamari's dinner, you got another thing comin'!" Leshawna growled, rolling up her sleeves and grabbing a sword from a barrel. The opinionated teen raised the sword above her head and brought it down on the tentacle, slicing it clean in half.
The monster gave a pained screech and recoiled its severed tentacle, leaving the detached limb to drop lifelessly onto the deck "Boy, you nasty!" Leshawna hollered to the creature who's eyes poked above the surface of the water.
"Euh! I think it just moved!" Dave squealed in terror, pointing at the curled tentacle that currently oozed clear slime.
Duncan rolled his eyes. "Here! Have your stupid arm back!" He shouted, grabbing the severed limb and hauling it over the side of the ship.
Over on The Queen Chef's Revenge, the Winding Rattlesnakes were watching the mutated squid attack the other ship.
"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" Izzy cackled as she watched the carnage unfold. The angry cephalopod was now tearing planks of wood from the enemy ship.
"Izzy, the kraken has already been released." Noah pointed out.
"I know, I'm encouraging it." Izzy explained. Suddenly the captain realized they weren't moving. "Eva! Why have we stopped?" She demanded.
"Uh, you told me to stop so you could watch the carnage?" Eva reminded her.
"Oh yeah...well forget what I said! Now's our chance to take the lead! Get moving!" Izzy hollered.
Eva pulled on some ropes, opening the ship's sails. Wind breathed into them and began pushing the ship forward. The temperamental teen turned the wheel and sailed around the seiged ship.
"Haha! Take that ya filthy landlubbers!" Izzy spat as her ship passed them by.
Harold looked over at Izzy taunting them while Leshawna, Duncan, and Bridgette attempted to fend off the squid. "We've been duped! Cheated!" He cried as they lost their lead.
"We've been hornswaggled!" Dave added.
"What?" Geoff turned, looking confused.
"I don't think that's a real word but I agree with you!" Harold exclaimed.
"Yo! You done makin' up words or do you wanna help us with this glorified calamari dinner!" Leshawna hollered back at them as the squid launched another tentacle at the ship, grabbing the mast.
"Crap!" Bridgette cried. The mutant pulled on the mast, bringing the ship to a slant, knocking everyone down to the deck.
"What do we do?!" Sky wailed.
"Well clearly cutting off its arm didn't help!" Courtney snapped.
"Just stab it a bunch, I don't know!" Duncan shrugged, earning a face-palm from Courtney.
Right as he said this, the mutated squid grabbed Duncan from the deck and reeled him in towards it's large beady eyes. "Uh...nice fishy?" He tried. The squid didn't buy it and let out another loud growl that echoed across the lake.
Thinking fast, Duncan struggled to reach into his pocket and pulled out a spray can. "Take a shot of this!" He shouted, pointing the nozzle at the squid's eye and spraying it full of dark indigo ink.
The creature let out a pained screech as it immediately closed its eyes and sank back into the water, dropping Duncan into the drink with it. "Whoa dude! That was some sick problem solving skills!" Geoff acknowledged.
"Ya mind helping me up?" Duncan requested.
"Oh right!" Geoff nodded, running off to grab a life-preserver. "All I could find was this rope dude." He said when he came back. The party animal tossed down the rope and Duncan grabbed onto it. The punk was pulled back onto the deck, sopping wet.
"Excellent work first mate!" Harold thanked him, earning an eye roll from Leshawna.
"Now let's get out of here before that thing comes back with a vengeance!" Scott gulped.
(Outhouse Confessional – Mama, just killed a man)
Scott- "I dealt with that stupid squid the first time I played!" He griped. "I swear, all these stupid mutants just hate me!"
Duncan- "I wasn't scared, there were uglier faces in prison!" He exclaimed. "Slimier too now that I think about it..." He tapped his chin in thought.
"Ahoy!" Noah shouted, point down into the water ahead. "Off the starboard bow!"
Everyone immediately rushed to the left side of the boat to see what he was pointing at. "No! The starboard side!" He snapped. His team switched sides of the boat and gazed into the water.
"Ooh! Balloons! Is it someone's birthday?" Dakota wondered.
"Those aren't balloons!" Scarlett cried, actually alarmed for once. Large round balls with spikes dotted along them littered the water. Each one was anchored to the lake bottom by a chain.
A seagull flew by, landing on one of the 'balloons'. It sat for a few seconds before it's feathers were blown off by an explosion from underneath it. "They're bombs!" Scarlett finished.
Suddenly, all at once, the rest of the bombs began exploding, triggered off by the first one. "HIT THE DECK!" Cody cried, getting down to the floor.
Chris laughed maniacally from the shoreline. "Look at them scream in terror!" He said, pointing out at the ship that was now surrounded by dozens of exploding mines.
"Don't you think that's a little dangerous?" Chef raised an eyebrow.
"And the funzone isn't?" The host returned.
Chef just rolled his eyes and left to most likely cook up something inedible for dinner.
Meanwhile back on The Queen Chef's Revenge, everyone was slowly standing up as the explosions settled down. "How the hell are we still afloat?" Noah wondered, looking over the side to see the hull of their ship blackened by the underwater mines.
"I guess pirate ships are stronger than they look?" Samey shrugged, not having a real explanation.
"What do we do when we get to the island again?" Dakota racked her brain.
Scarlett groaned. "We search for the treasure and then bring it back to Chris, did you not listen to anything he said?" She glared at the heiress.
"Oh yeah! Now I remember!" Dakota smiled.
(Outhouse Confessional – Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead)
Dakota- "My plan is working perfectly!" She grinned. "They all think I'm just a dumb blonde when I'm actually thinking strategy!" She explained. "Wow, I should really talk to my agent about my acting career."
Scarlett- "I'm usually very good about seeing right through illusions, but for once, I can't tell if Dakota is acting dumb, or if she's actually that brainless." She sighed. "Regardless, it is clear she is an ally of Amy's, and if I am to use Amy as a pawn, I must eliminate any and all of her associates."
"Ugh, how long until we get to the stupid island?" Amy grumbled, sitting a barrel impatiently.
"I'd reckon just a few more-" Jasmine was cut off when the ship suddenly came to sharp halt. "...minutes." She finished with a frown.
"That did not sound good." Cody said, referring to the loud scraping noise that came from the ship's hull.
"Aye! It be land!" Izzy called out from the crow's nest above.
"It seems we've been caught in the rocks." Scarlett deduced, looking over the side into the shallow waters.
"Well if we move now, the rocks will just destroy the hull even further." Jasmine warned. "I say we dock and worry about it later."
"Good, let's just get this stupid challenge over with." Amy grumbled, walking over to the very front of the ship and hopping off into the sand.
"Yup, we're real far in..." Noah sighed as he hopped off. "We're like a beached whale."
"Did somebody say whale?" Owen asked, his stomach simultaneously growling.
"Full speed ahead! They've already landed!" Harold called back to Courtney who he had now let steer the ship.
"It looks like they've gotten stuck in the rocks!" Bridgette pointed out. "So be careful as we near the shore."
"We can use this row boat to get to shore." Trent said, walking over to said boat hanging over the side, ready to be deployed. The musician yanked on the rope, only to have the dingy zip down from its perch and fly off behind them into the water. "Crap..."
"Good going, Trent!" Duncan glared at him.
"Yeah, smooth move." Harold rolled his eyes.
"Hey, we can still swim to shore." Trent suggested.
"For once, you'd better hope Chris went all cheap and didn't put nothin' in that treasure chest or you're gonna be the one carrying it back onto the ship!" Leshawna told him.
"Alright fine." Trent put up his hands defensively.
(Outhouse Confessional – Mama, life had just begun)
Trent- "Okay that could have gone a thousand times better." He frowned. "I guess my mind's still on Gwen and I'm not really thinking..."
Leshawna- "Yeah, I feel a bit guilty about what happened to Gwen," She sighed, "If it wasn't for me and that darn fish she'd still be here. Gwen, if you're watchin' this get better soon, ya hear?" She said, blowing a kiss to the camera.
"Argh!" Izzy bellowed as she jumped off the ship. "What have ye there?" She asked Jasmine.
"It's a map." She answered, gesturing back to a lookalike pinned to a tree. "Or...at least part of one."
"Right you are!" Came Chris's obnoxiously chipper voice through a loud-speaker attached to the same tree. "Scattered around the island are more parts of the map, which will make finding the treasure a whole lot easier."
"So what are we supposed to use to find the pieces of the map?" Noah questioned.
"Dude, they're nailed to trees and junk." Chris answered. "I don't think it'll be that hard."
"Well you didn't say that!" Noah snapped at the loud-speaker.
"Let's get moving already." Amy snarled, already heading off into the forest.
"Wait! We should split up to cover more ground." Jasmine said. "That way we can find the pieces of the map quicker."
"Oh yeah, you might wanna hurry because there's only one map between both teams." Chris advised them.
"I'll go with Noah and Owen; Eva and Jasmine go together; Samey can go with Cody; Dawn and Dakota can work together; and Scarlett I guess you're stuck with Amy." Izzy decided rapidly. "Alright let's break!" She whooped, bounding off into the forest. Noah and Owen looked at each other and shrugged, following after her.
"Wait, how will we know when to group up back at the ship?" Jasmine called after her.
"Just listen for the signal!" Izzy hollered back.
"Well what's the signal!" Jasmine shouted angrily. Izzy didn't respond. The Aussie sighed and looked back to see that everyone except for Eva had already split. "I guess it's just you and me then." She said.
"It would seem that way." Eva answered.
"I'm still watching you." Jasmine eyed her. "But I'm willing to work together for this challenge."
"Good to hear." Eva nodded in affirmation.
(Outhouse Confessional – And now I've gone and thrown it all away!)
Izzy- "Mwa-ha-ha-ha!" She cackled. "I put Jasmine and Eva together so they could become friends, and then I put Cody and Samey together so they can get it on, and then I put me with Noah and Owen because we're pals!" She explained. "Izzy knows what she's doing." She grinned, tapping her noggin.
Eva- "Now's my chance to prove to Jasmine that I'm not who she saw me as during the team picking challenge. Hopefully she'll forgive me and we can be allies maybe? I still don't really know all the game terms..."
"Let's go!' Duncan called out, jumping off the side of their ship and swimming towards shore.
"Good going, Trent. Now my weave's gonna be all tangled." Leshawna shook her head as she jumped off after Duncan.
"Hey, I said I was sorry!" Trent protested.
A flash transitioned to the shore where Team Kihew was now gathered around the tree. Harold had the map and was examining it.
"I see the X but it looks like it cuts off here." He said, pointing to the edge of the paper.
"Correct-a-mundo Harold, you'll need to find the rest of pieces of the map scattered around the island but hurry because there's only one map between the two teams. Find the treasure, bring it back to me and you win yay! Yada yada you know the rest." Chris said quickly.
"Shall we split up?" Duncan suggested.
"I'll go with my fair Leshawna." Harold offered.
"Me and Bridge can rock this search party!" Geoff whooped, pulling his girlfriend close. Bridgette just smiled and giggled.
"I'll go with Courtney!" Duncan and Scott said simultaneously.
"Oh, sorry, my bad. Let's let the lady decide." Scott apologized, gesturing to a very irritated Courtney.
"Actually, I thought I'd go with Sky this time." Courtney told them. "Is that alright?" She looked at the small gymnast.
"What? Oh yeah that's fine." Sky shrugged, trying to avoid looking at Dave whom she knew was glaring at her.
"Uh, I'll go with Dave I guess." Trent said.
"I guess that leaves you two." Geoff grinned at Duncan and Scott.
Duncan glared at them. "We'd better win." He grumbled.
Cody and Samey walked together through the forest. The sun hadn't quite begun to set but it was reaching that afternoon golden hour. Strange birds cawed in the distance as the two teens walked through rows of tall pines and dead trees.
"This place is sort of pretty...in an eerie, dramatic, movie sort of way." Samey said, gazing around.
"Yeah, it kind of is," The ladies man said, watching the sun cast a shadow off one of the trees, "Although I can safely say I don't want to stick around here at night." Cody chuckled nervously. "Being alone would suck too. I'm glad I've got you here to keep me company."
Samey blushed. "Yeah, I'm glad you're here too, it makes this whole place feel a little less scary." She admitted.
"How about we play a game to pass the time?" Cody suggested.
"Oh, that sounds fun. What kind of game?" Samey asked.
"Hmm...how about 20 questions? Everyone loves a good round of 20 questions!" He said.
"Sure! Do you want to go first...or should I? It's fine if you want to-"
"I'll go first." Cody smiled, ending Samey's awkward ramble. He tapped his chin in thought. "Alright I got it! Ask away!" He told her.
"Let's see...is it smaller than a breadbox?" She asked.
"Why does everyone always ask that?" Cody laughed. "I don't even know what a breadbox is!"
"I don't either actually..." Samey paused before the two shared a bit of a laughter.
"But yes it's bigger than a breadbox." Cody answered.
"Okay, is it alive?"
"Nope."
"Is it a possession?" She tried.
"Yes, yes it is." The tech geek nodded in affirmation.
"Um...can you eat it?"
"Definitely not." Cody chuckled at the thought.
"Can you play with it?" Samey inquired.
"Well you can play it." Cody returned.
"Is it a musical instrument?" Samey asked, suspecting she might be on to something.
"Indeed it is." Cody grinned, knowing she was on the verge of the answer.
"Is it your keyboard?" She asked knowingly.
"Correct! That one was maybe a little too easy." Cody chuckled. "Alright my turn to guess. Got something?"
"Yup, guess away."
"Is it alive?" Cody asked.
"Yes it is."
"Is it bigger than a refrigerator?"
"Yup."
"Is it bigger than a really big refrigerator?" The nerd tried again. [4]
"That depends on your definition of a big refrigerator." Samey pointed out.
"Hmm..." Cody thought of more questions. "Can it be trained?"
"Maybe? I'm gonna say no on that one." The cheerleader shook her head.
"Is it a person?"
"Actually its several people but yes." Samey clarified for him.
"Is it a band?"
"Guess I sort of gave it away didn't I?" She chuckled.
"Well I still have to guess which band...that might be hard."
"Is it Two Directions? Out of Sync? Upstreet Boys?" Cody tried.
"No, no, and no!" Samey laughed at his guesses. "You think I'm into boy bands?" She giggled.
"Uh... I'm not really sure what you're into." Cody scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, I got nothing. Who is it?"
"It's Paragon," Samey gushed, "They're my favorite band." [5]
"Yup, never heard of them." Cody shook his head.
"I'll have to have you listen to them sometime, they're so great!" The cheerleader squealed. "Okay, now I'm fangirl-ing, let's move on to your turn before I do something embarrassing." She blushed.
"Okay I think I've got–LASER SQUIRRELS!" He cried, jumping out of the way.
"Wait you have what?" Samey raised an eyebrow. She glanced over at him just in time to see a bolt of lightning zap the ground where he had just been standing. The cheerleader looked up at the trees to see a naked squirrel staring at her. It's eyes began turning red before it fired another bolt of lightning. Samey dove out of the way with a scream just in time, landing next to Cody in the leaves.
"He's got friends!" Cody pointed as more squirrels joined in. "RUN FOR IT!"
The two teens got to their feet and bolted in the other direction. The lead squirrel let out a war cry before leading the rest of them after them.
"Look! It's one of the map pieces!" Samey pointed to a tree up ahead. She ripped it off the nail as they ran by.
"Nice snag!" Cody acknowledged before a bolt of lightning was fired past his head, striking a tree in front of him. "AAAAHHH!"
Dave and Trent walked quietly through the forest. Dave still wore the usual scowl on his face and Trent wasn't sure if it was safe to make conversation.
"So why'd you offer to be my partner?" Dave suddenly spoke. "Everyone hates me, I don't see why you'd feel differently." He grumbled.
"I don't think everyone hates you, I think you're just misunderstood." Trent told him.
"Really? So you think Sky's a lying witch who deserves to be eliminated too?" The germophobe perked up.
"Uh, not quite. I just think you're coming off as too hateful and everyone thinks that's who you really are." Trent said. "Maybe tone it down a bit?"
"But what about Sky? She's still here!" Dave exclaimed. "She should be eliminated!"
"I guess everyone takes things differently but I feel like forgiveness is usually the best solution."
"Blech!" Dave shouted in disgust.
"Just hear me out!" Trent stopped him. "When Gwen and I broke up, I thought she went behind my back and told them to vote me out, but it was really Justin who messed everything up. That and I was maybe helping her out a little too much. Sometimes you have to look at yourself before you blame the other person."
"But she led me on!" Dave protested.
"That's part of it," Trent nodded, "But you also didn't let her speak whenever she tried to tell you."
"So? She could have told me she had a boyfriend another time!" Dave argued.
"Maybe she just gave up after you shot her down so many times." Trent pointed out. "You haven't looked at yourself to see if you were part of the problem."
"What about the kiss!" Dave suddenly remembered. "She kissed me at the finale!"
"Okay you've got me there." Trent frowned. "I'm not saying you can't still dislike her but this kind of hate and animosity isn't good for you or your image."
"So I'm just supposed to silently hate her?" Dave raised an eyebrow.
"Well, you can talk to me about it but try to avoid bringing it up so often with the team or they'll get sick of you." Trent said. "Try to be more of a team player, be the Dave we saw before the whole fiasco happened."
"Maybe...I still want her gone though." He grumbled.
"That's fine, we've got the Guy's Alliance for that. Just...don't let Duncan use you because you were blinded by hate. Trust me, he's not always a nice guy."
(Outhouse Confessional – Mama, oooh, didn't mean to make you cry)
Trent- "Now that Gwen's gone, I've felt like no one really cares about me again. Not to mention I keep screwing up..." He sighed. "I figured Dave could be a good friend, he just needs some fixing up, that's all. Besides, we've been paired up before."
Dave- "The first time I came into this game, I planned to be cutthroat, and that's what I'm going to do this time. First, I'm going to eliminate Sky, and then I'm going to take down the guy's alliance one by one! I just...need to figure out how to do that first..." He pondered.
"So what's up with you and Dave?" Courtney wondered as she and Sky hiked through the forest. "I didn't really bother to watch much of last season." She admitted.
Sky sighed. "It's a long story. Like, really long."
"Is there a condensed version?" Courtney requested.
"So basically Dave liked me and I kind of liked him but I had a boyfriend back home who I was going to break up with before I came on the show but didn't get the chance to. Dave kept trying to make moves on me and every time I tried to tell him, he wouldn't let me finish. Then, at the finale, Chris revealed my audition tape where I talked about my boyfriend and Dave kind of lost it..." Sky explained.
"So that's why he's such a grumpy hermit?" Courtney raised an eyebrow. "Wow. So pathetic." She shook her head.
Sky wanted to point out how Courtney acted the same way when she was cheated on but decided to remain quiet. "Yeah, I guess. I've just been trying to avoid him so I can just focus on the game."
"Well the only way to do that is to get him eliminated." Courtney told her. "Or do you still care about him?"
"...I'm not sure!" Sky bit her lip. "I want to win the game and leave him behind but...at the same time I really do like him. And not the him that you've seen, the him before all this happened."
"Well, from my experience relationships don't lead to anything good. They've just caused problems for me in the past. I'm definitely glad to be free of that." She breathed.
"So...do you think I should just try to vote him out?" Sky asked.
"Seems like the best option to me." Courtney shrugged. "Just let me know if you need help with any of that. I've got a strong alliance and I think you'd make a great addition to it."
"I don't know...I kind of prefer to stick with me, myself, and I." Sky replied. "Someone I know I can trust."
"That is a good strategy but you won't make it deep into the game without an alliance." Courtney advised. "Without allies, you're an easy target."
"Really?" Sky raised an eyebrow. "But I'm a team player! I'm good at challenges too..."
"Yeah, for now. What about when you get to the merge? Then you'll be all alone and any alliance could pick you and you'd have no one to help you." Courtney pointed out. "But, if you make alliances now, you'll have them for later."
"You do make a good point." Sky nodded. "So who's all in this alliance?"
Courtney froze. "Well...me." She started. "Um...Amy and Dakota."
"Wait you're aligned with them? I don't know much bout Amy since she was on the other team but she seems like kind of a brat." Sky told her. "And Dakota isn't exactly the smartest person."
"That's why it works out so well." Courtney explained. "Dakota is easily manipulated and Amy really has no one else to go to. She also thinks she's running the alliance so just go with it."
"Okay, but they're on the other team. Anyone else that could help us now in the game?" Sky asked.
"Well, they're not really a part of the alliance but Duncan and Scott will pretty much do anything I say as long as we don't tell them they other is involved." Courtney said.
"Isn't that sort of using them?" Sky pointed out.
"I guess if you want to look at it that way. They're pretty much just throwing themselves at me so why not take advantage of it?" The CIT shrugged.
"If you say so. As long as I'm not doing any of the manipulating. I'm not good with that kind of stuff, it makes me feel dirty." The gymnast shook her head.
"Oh! Look!" Courtney suddenly pointed to a beige sheet of paper sticking out from under a rock. "It's part of the map!"
"Nice job, Courtney!" Sky grinned. "So uh...should we keep searching or head back to the beach?"
"I say we head back to the beach. There can't be that many pieces and I'm sure the others will find at least one." Courtney decided.
"Okay then." Sky shrugged as the two turned around.
(Outhouse Confessional – If I'm not back again this time tomorrow)
Sky- "Courtney seems just a little shady to me, but I do see her point in needing an alliance. Jasmine's on the other team so that's not really helpful right now..." She frowned. "I guess she's my only option right now or Dave might strike first!"
Courtney- "Now that I hopefully have Sky on board with this alliance, I stand a better chance at staying in the game until the merge. Then, I can join back with Amy and Dakota and move on from there." She explained. "I might take Sky with me. She seems like a trustworthy individual, but I don't think I'd take her to the finale. I'll admit, I think she'd have a pretty good chance at beating me."
Jasmine grimaced, resenting the situation she was in. She didn't trust Eva one bit after what happened yesterday, She had apologized, but Jasmine wasn't one to forgive others easily.
"Have you found anything yet?" Eva asked as she looked around, oblivious to Jasmine's feelings towards her. Eva had assumed Jasmine had forgiven her.
"If I'd found something, I would've said so." Jasmine huffed, looking in the other direction. "Now keep looking, there's got to be something around here."
"Good idea." Eva nodded, following the Amazon's orders.
"Chris said they were nailed to trees or under rocks..." Jasmine said, looking down at the rocks on the ground. Seeing, nothing, she looked back up only to be hit in the face with a piece of paper. She ripped the page from the tree branch and pulled it down. "Well would you look at that!" She grinned. "I reckon we head back to the boat?"
"We might want to deal with the bear..." Eva pointed ahead of them.
"What?" Jasmine turned around to see a large grizzly bear dressed with gold chains, a snorkeler's mask and breathing tube, an oxygen tank, and a pirate hat with an eye-patch over one side of the mask. "Is that . . .scuba bear?" She raised an eyebrow.
"I thought his name was bling bear." Eva recalled.
"Actually," Chris butted in through an intercom coincidentally placed within the forest, "He's Scurvy Bear now!"
"Okay this is just getting ridiculous." Jasmine knit her eyebrows.
The mechanical bear let out a roar before suddenly flying towards them using rockets attached to the bottoms of its feet.
Instinctively, Eva reared back and punched the oncoming bear square in the jar, sending it flying back into a tree. "Back off, patchy!" She snarled.
The robot snapped its broken neck back into place and came at them again. Jasmine and Eva looked at each other and grinned. Jasmine grabbed the bear's arm when it came at her and twisted it around, sending sparks flying and exposing wires.
Eva quickly climbed on top and sat around it's neck, putting it in a choke-hold before snapping its head back to face her. She punched it in the face repeatedly until it was unrecognizable. She then hopped down, grabbed it by the head, and slammed it into the ground where it fizzled out and powered down.
"Hey! Do you know hot much it cost to fix him the last time!" Chris shouted angrily over the loud-speaker.
"I'd quit spending money on that if I were you." Jasmine advised.
"Don't tell me what to do!" Chris snapped, sounding like a little kid.
"Now if there are no more distractions, let's head back to the boat. Any idea which way it is?" Jasmine asked her partner.
"I thought you were the expert tracker." Eva raised an eyebrow.
"Alright, alright," Jasmine nodded, "I think we came from that way?" She pointed behind them and to the left.
(Outhouse Confessional – Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters)
Jasmine- "Okay I have to give Eva some credit for completely destroying that bear robot!" She exclaimed. "I guess I've been a little hard on her after the last challenge. Maybe I could stand to be a little nicer."
Eva- "I'm not about to let some tin-man reject hurt my new friend." She said sternly.
"Ugh, this place is so gross!" Amy recoiled as she and Scarlett walked past several skulls mounted on top of sticks. "And these bugs!" She snarled, swatting one away from her face.
"The skulls are clearly fakes," Scarlett told her, whipping out a lighter and igniting it. She held the flame up to one of the skulls, causing it to give off a nice shine. "See, they're made of acrylic."
"Why do you have a lighter in your pocket?" Amy raised an eyebrow.
"Why don't you have a lighter in your pocket?" Scarlett returned. Amy just huffed angrily in response. She was used to being the one in charge with no one talking back to her, but the people here were proving to be quite the opposite.
"So about this alliance, who's in it?" Amy wondered.
"I'm afraid I can't disclose that information at this time. It'd be too risky as I cannot fully trust you." Scarlett answered, not looking back at the cheerleader as she continued to walk.
"What about Noah, isn't he like your boyfriend or something?" Amy taunted.
Scarlett froze. "Absolutely. Not." She answered quite sternly.
"Sheesh I was just wondering." Amy said defensively.
"The fact that that thought passed through your mind makes me wonder how you exist with such little intelligence." Scarlett narrowed her eyes.
"Hey! Rude." Amy glared.
Scarlett sighed. "Anyway, my alliance consists of four solid people including myself and a wandering fifth..." She recalled, thinking of Izzy. "With your addition, we have the majority."
"So that means we can get rid of Samey no problem?" Amy perked up.
"Correct." Scarlett nodded.
(Outhouse Confessional – Too late, my time has come)
Scarlett- "By using Samey as an object of interest, I've lured Amy into joining my alliance. I have no use for Samey so if she is eliminated, so be it. As long as I continue to use this method to coax Amy into the alliance, I can silently pick off what few allies she has and before she knows it, she'll have no other option."
"Oh I'm so in." Amy grinned malevolently. Her only goal in the game was to get rid of Samey, now that it was finally going to come true, what next?
"So what happens after Samey's eliminated?" Amy wondered.
"Simple. We begin to pick off the weak links. Then, when the merge comes around, we target the strong competitors."
"Wow, you've got this all planned out." Amy awed.
"It's really not too complicated for a being of my caliber." Scarlett bragged.
Amy just rolled her eyes.
(Outhouse Confessional – Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time)
Amy- "This is perfect! With this new alliance, I finally have the power to get rid of Samey!" She grinned. "After that...I'll probably win the money so I can rub it in her face when we get home."
The two villains continued to walk the eerie path through the dark forest. The sun was beginning to set, spreading purple and yellow hues across the sky. Clouds lit up like cotton candy and the trees cast long shadows along the ground.
A crow cawed loudly in the distance, causing Amy to flinch. She turned around to see if she could find the source of the noise. "Can we please find the treasure soon, I don't want to be in here at night!" She gulped. When the cheerleader turned around she slammed right into Jasmine's hip.
"Ow!" She cried, holding her nose. "Who put an Amazon there!"
Jasmine turned around. "Oh good, it's you too." She rolled her eyes, not happy to see either of them. "Have you found anything yet? We found this piece." She held up the part of the map. It only had winding dashed lines, no starting point and no ending point.
"I'm afraid we've found nothing." Scarlett said. "But I'm certain four eyes are better than two."
(Outhouse Confessional – Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go, Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth)
Scarlett- "This is excellent timing! I need to test out the mind-controlling collar on a human to know if it works. If I use Eva, everyone will think she's just raging." She said, holding up the metal collar.
"We were heading back to the boat since we've already found our map piece." Jasmine explained.
Suddenly a series of loud sheep noises came from the sky. The four girls looked up to see three fire-breathing mountain goats descending on them, looking as grumpy as always.
"What the heck?!" Jasmine cried. "What happened to locking these things up in the Funzone?"
"I guess we forgot to take flying mutants into account..." Chris said over the loud-speaker.
"And I suppose they can climb over the fence or dig under it too?" Jasmine knit her eyebrows.
"Probably." Chris shrugged.
One of the goats lets out a baah before shooting fire out of it's mouth, causing Amy to jump back. Now the three mutated goats had surrounded them.
"What do we do?!" Amy cried, absentmindedly hugging Scarlett for protection, much to the brainiac's discomfort.
"There's only one this we can do!" Jasmine exclaimed, ripping a large, thick chunk of wood off of a nearby tree. "We fight!"
Jasmine shielded herself with the bark from another burst of fire. However, her makeshift shield caught fire, so she chucked it at one of the goats, causing it to flee.
Eva didn't hesitate. She leaped into the air and put one of the goats in a headlock. The goat cried out and shot out a fireball in an attempt to get Eva. As a last ditch effort, the goat flew into the air, flapping its wings wildly, trying to shake its assailant.
Jasmine saw Eva and decided to do the same. She came at the other goat and grabbed it by the horns, jerking it back and forth. Amy screamed and ran in the opposite direction, hiding out in a partially decomposed tree.
Finally, the goat managed to shake Eva, sending the buff teen falling to the ground with a thud. "Awh..." She moaned.
The goat then went after Jasmine who was still dealing with the other one. And now, the third goat had returned and started to chase Amy who continued to scream.
Scarlett quickly seized the opportunity and grabbed Eva and pulled her into a small, nearby cave. "What are you—" Eva wondered as Scarlett pulled out the metal collar and snapped it around the weight-lifter's neck.
"Now let's see how she reacts." Scarlett grinned as her experiment began. Eva froze for a second, her mind being taken over.
"WHAT THE /censored/!" She suddenly shouted, looking over at the goats attacking Jasmine and Amy.
The now-mind-controlled teen charged at them, ramming her head right into the gut of the goat that was chasing Amy, sending it flying a remarkable ten feet before slamming into a tree.
The rage-o-holic then turned and grabbed one of the goats attacking Jasmine by the horns and swung it around a few times before flinging it into the same tree.
Finally, she simply kneed the last goat in the chin, upper-cutting it and causing it to fall over. The three goats cried out in pain and terror before flying away.
"YEAH YOU BETTER RUN!" Eva screeched at them.
"Whoa..." Jasmine said with wide eyes.
"What are you looking at?!" Eva shouted with hostility.
"Nothing just...that was way more violent than what you did to that bear..." Jasmine observed. "Say...when did you get that choker? Has it just been there and I've never noticed?" She asked, referring to the collar now around Eva's neck.
"What's it to you?!" Eva snarled. "/censored/ off!"
Jasmine's eyes widened in shock. What was going on? Eva had just been trying to make friends with her and now she was cursing at her? "What's wrong with you?" Jasmine glared at her. "First you apologize for being a psycho, and now you'reback to being a psycho!"
"LAY OFF!" The buff teen screamed.
(Outhouse Confessional – Mama, I don't wanna die; I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all! *guitar solo*)
Chris – "Man! I don't know what Scarlett did to Eva but she is breaking the censors!" He laughed. "Man am I glad I'm not an editor!"
Jasmine- "I knew it! I knew I couldn't trust that ticking time-bomb of rage!" She exclaimed in frustration. "And this time it's completely unprovoked!"
Scarlett- "So I have deduced that the current collar makes the wearer extremely hostile. I will leave the collar around our test subject's neck for further experimentation." She said, scribbling things down on a notepad.
"I feel positive energy coming from this direction!" Dawn said, pointing forward. She and Dakota had been tracing the outer perimeter of the Fun Zone but hadn't come across anything yet.
"So does that mean we're getting closer?" Dakota wondered.
"Yes, but it's quite vague, we must keep going!" Dawn replied.
The two continued to walk alongside the massive tree trunks that made up the wall of the Fun Zone. As long as they remained by its side, they had a way to retrace their steps.
A loud growl followed by the chirping of insects and the rustling of leaves came from within the enclosure, causing Dakota to jump back. "What was that?!" She cried.
"I'm not sure, but I'm beginning to feel the presence of dark energy!" Dawn warned, glancing around to see if she could spot its source.
Suddenly there was a faint skittering sound. The two girls looked up to see a very large cockroach crawling over the side of the Fun Zone wall at a rapid pace. It reached the ground and faced them, letting out a shrill hiss.
"Oh my gosh! Ew! Ew!" Dakota cried, running to cower behind Dawn. The beetle shot fire from between its pincers, scorching a branch above them.
"Wait!" Dawn cried, holding her hands out defensively. "Remember me? I reunited you with your child!"
The beetle paused for a moment to think before shaking its head and glaring at them once more. "I think you've got the wrong beetle!" Dakota cried in terror.
And that was the breaking point. The teen model soon began growing larger and larger, ripping and testing the elasticity of her clothing. Her feet grew too big for her shoes, utterly disintegrating them.
A thick tail sprouted from her rear as her skin pigmentation turned from tan to a deep orange. Her hair receded, its hue morphing into a radioactive green.
Her elbows and shoulder-blades extended sharply as her eyes were filled with a toxic yellow coloring. The completed mutant breathed heavily and frantically looked around until she spotted the cockroach.
The mutated bug gulped as Dakotazoid grabbed it with her big, sharp claws and squeezed it. "I will crush you like a bug!" She roared, clenching her fist harder.
"No! Please stop!" Dawn cried out.
"Huh?" Dakota looked down at her friend. "Oh... Dakota sorry!" She bit her lip before chucking the injured insect deep into the Fun Zone. "Is Dawn okay?" She asked.
"Fret not, I'm fine." Dawn assured her. "Thank you for saving me."
"Hey! Look!" Dakotazoid said, reaching down and plucking a small piece of paper from between the Fun Zone wall.
"Excellent work my friend!" Dawn beamed.
Dakotazoid smiled. Now that she was calm again, she began to shrink, the toxic effects reversing. When all was said and done, she was back to normal, aside from her worn-out clothing.
"So should we go back to the boat?" Dakota asked, waving the piece of the map.
"I suppose so. We can follow the wall back." The aura whisperer answered, gesturing to the Fun Zone beside them.
"I can't wait to get out of here." Dakota shivered.
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life meee!" Izzy sang as she, Noah and Owen walked together through the forest.
"Izzy, you've been singing the same song for the past half hour would you please stop!" Noah groaned, covering his ears.
"Okay!" The redhead answered before spouting off another song. "Yar har, fiddle di dee, being a pirate is alright with me! Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!" [6]
Noah glared at her with a grumble.
"Aw, is little Noah having a head-ache?" Owen teased in a baby voice.
"As a matter of fact, yes." He answered, giving his friend an annoyed side-eye.
"How about this one!" Izzy suggested. "Yo ho, all together, hoist the colors now! Heave ho, thieves and beggers . . .never shall we dieeee!" The lunatic sang with a pirate accent. [7]
"Ugh! Enough alrea—whoa!" Noah cried as he tripped over something, landing face-first in a pile of dirt. "What the...?!" He exclaimed angrily after peeling his face from the ground.
All three of them looked back to see the coveted treasure chest sticking halfway out of small dug-out pit. It was partially covered by a pile of dirt with a shovel pitched into it. "Who's the idiot who put that there!" Noah griped.
xxx
Chris turned his head to an intern walking up behind him. The pudgy intern was covered in scratches and his shirt was ripped. He was also missing his glasses. Chris glared at him. "Guess who's not getting dinner." He crossed his arms angrily. Chef just shook his head in disappointment.
xxx
"Look!" Owen pointed a few feet from the pile. Lying on the ground was the ripped remains of an intern's shirt along with a pair of mangled glasses.
"Whoa...cool!" Izzy gawked. "And I see bear tracks too!"
"Holy Lola! Do you think the bear got him?" Owen wondered, referring to the intern.
"Probably." Noah answered, earning a horrified gasp from his buddy. "What? The interns here are so unlucky, they might as well be red-shirts!"
"Well they do wear red shirts..." Owen tapped his chin in thought.
"Plaid." Noah corrected him.
"What are ye doin' just standing there!" Izzy barked at them, talking like a pirate again. "Let's haul this chest back to our ship and make a clean getaway!"
(Outhouse Confessional – I see a little silhouetto of a man, Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango!)
Noah- "I swear, one of these days I'm just going to lose it and join Izzy and Owen in crazy town." He muttered, shaking his head.
Izzy- "Join us, Noah." She said in an eerie tone. "One of us, one of us, one of us!" She chanted.
Izzy picked up the front of the chest while Owen and Noah grabbed the back. "Hold on, let me signal!" Izzy told them. "CAW-CAW! CAW-CAW! LOODLOODLOODL-OO! HEE HAW, HEE HAW!" She squawked.
"Okay, I think they got the message..." Noah deadpanned.
Now the three of them were off, jogging through the forest. A few minutes into their trek, they heard the whine of the intercom.
"Good news, thanks to one of my pathetic interns, the treasure chest has been found by Team Sisikwew!" Chris announced to everyone. "Oh yeah, and they're on their way back to their ship! So you might want to get moving Team Kihew..." He suggested.
"So much for secrecy." Noah frowned. "Thanks a lot McLean."
"Yeah! Now my secret signal is pointless!" Izzy pouted.
"Did you hear that?! They already found he treasure chest! You've got to be kidding me!" Duncan kicked a rock in frustration.
"If we lose I blame you." Scott crossed his arm.
"Why, just because Courtney likes me better?" Duncan snarled.
"She doesn't like you better!" Scott argued.
"Well she's sure not gonna like some dingy redneck!" Duncan spat back. "I'm cool! I'm more of a bad boy than you'll ever be! All you did was sabotage your own team!"
"Okay, okay, not the best strategy." Scott agreed. "But a least I didn't cheat on her!"
"Seriously? We weren't even dating! We broke up before World Tour started!" Duncan told him.
"At least she broke up with me over a misunderstanding." Scott said.
"Dude, that's so not any better..." Duncan pointed out.
"Would you two quit arguing and get to the ship?!" Leshawna snapped, suddenly running past them. Harold trailed after her, already weak and out of breath.
Scott and Duncan glared at each other before following after them.
"Wow, this thing is really heavy, I wonder what's inside!" Owen said giddily. "Oh it feels just like Christmas!"
"Yeah, except these presents are filled with torture and abuse." Noah replied. "I wouldn't open it if I were you though, Chris would probably disqualify us or something."
"Yeah, you're probably right." Owen frowned.
"Ahoy!" Izzy called out as the trio reached the end of the woods. They raced onto the beach and hauled the chest onto their beached ship.
"And now we have to wait for everyone else..." Noah sighed, kicking back on a barrel.
Luckily, most of the other duos were already on their way back and soon came running out of the forest. "So you're telling me we went searching for these things for nothing?!" Eva snarled. "You've got to be kidding me!"
"Whoa, who turned on the rage-switch?" Noah pointed to the angry weight-lifter.
"For once, I have no clue." Jasmine shook her head, climbing up the side of the ship and hauling herself over onto the deck.
"Ugh, where's my slowpoke of a sister?" Amy griped.
"Here we are!" Samey cried as she and Cody came onto the beach, followed soon after by Dawn and Dakota.
"Now is everyone aboard?" Izzy called out.
Jasmine looked around and counted heads of her teammates. "Yup, everyone's here! Now let's hoist the anchor and get moving!"
"Uh, captain, it looks like we've wedged on some rocks!" Cody informed Izzy after looking over the side of the ship.
"Crap, I forgot about them!" Jasmine face-palmed.
"Hmm..." Izzy stroked her chin in thought. "Let's just reverse and hope for the best!" She shrugged.
Scarlett went to reach for the wheel of the ship but was met with a growling Eva. The brainiac calmly recoiled her hand and allowed Eva to take control.
(Outhouse Confessional – Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening me Galileo(x4) Figaro Magnifico-o-o-o-o)
Scarlett- "It appears the wearer of the collar does not respond to its master...this will be something I'll need to fix." She said.
"Eva, we'll need your brute strength for the inevitable pirate ship battle!" Izzy called out. "Let Owen steer!"
Eva glared at the captain. "Fine, but only because I know you're right."
(Outhouse Confessional – I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me. He's just a poor boy from a poor family. Spare him his life from this monstrosity!)
Izzy- "See, ya just gotta stroke their ego and they'll listen to you every time." Izzy grinned seductively.
"Alright, big one!" Izzy called back, referring to Owen, "Move us out of these rocks!"
"Moving out of the rocks!" Owen announced with a salute. He put both hands on the wheel and began to turn it.
Accompanied by a back-up alarm one might here from a reversing truck, the large pirate ship slowly pulled itself from the sharp jagged rocks.
The rocks scrapped against the hull, utterly decimating it. "Keep going, you're good, you're good, you're good! And... stop!" Izzy called out, glancing over the side of the ship as its hull flew past her. "Don't worry guys, we'll buff out those scratches!" She assured them, despite half the hull being destroyed. [8]
Jasmine just face-palmed.
"Okay, now it's miracle we're still afloat." Noah said, glancing over the side. "This defies all logic."
"Look! While we were busy getting out of the rocks, the other team set sail!" Dawn pointed across the way to The McLean's Delight.
"PREPARE TO BOARD!" Duncan called out, raising a machete as he clung to a dangling rope.
"Owen!" Izzy called out. "Don't stop moving!" She instructed.
"Aye aye, captain!" He nodded.
"Eva, guard the treasure with your life!" Izzy turned to her.
"Don't tell me what to do!" Eva bellowed. "But okay." She nodded. Jasmine just looked at the muscular teen in disbelief.
"FIRE!" Izzy commanded, casting a finger at The McLean's Delight. A boom sounded followed by the crunch of wood as the cannonball collided with the ship's hull.
"We've been hit!" Harold cried. "Return fire!"
Trent lit the wick of of the cannon. A few seconds later the cannonball shot out and . . . completely missed the enemy ship.
Duncan face-palmed.
"Fire another!" Harold instructed.
Trent and Dave looked through several barrels and crates. Trent scratched his head. "Uh...I can't find anymore cannonballs..."
Leshawna stared at them with wide eyes before glaring at them. "And you just wasted our last one!" She growled.
"Hey! I didn't know it was the last one!" Trent said defensively.
"We must have wasted them all in the first fight!" Harold realized.
"Between that and our ripped sail, I don't know how we'll ever catch up." Sky frowned, watching Team Sisikwew sail ahead.
"We'll need to ditch anything that's of no use," Harold said, "That way nothing weighs us down and we can go as fast as possible!"
"I've got something useless right here, Duncan, said, grabbing Scott's arm.
"Hey!" Scott exclaimed.
"Don't you two start right now!" Courtney scolded them.
"Look for something else we can use as ammo!" Harold instructed.
Now they began tossing barrels and crates overboard, anything that they didn't need. Duncan tried tossing Scott overboard again but Courtney stopped him with an intense glare.
Bridgette, Geoff, Leshawna and Sky all grabbed long planks of wood and dipped them into the water, using them as paddles to propel them further.
Soon the two galleons were side-by-side. "Alright! Begin fire!" Harold declared, throwing a hand up.
"Brace for impact!" Izzy warned her crew as their enemies loaded the cannons.
The first shot was fired, followed by another and another! Noah looked around, confused. "Um, I'm not seeing any cannonballs..." He said. As if on cue, a fork sailed right past his head and embedded itself in the mast next to him.
Noah turned wearily. "HIT THE DECK!" He cried as silverware reigned down on them. [9]
"It's innovative, I'll give them that..." Scarlett admitted, looking up at the sky as forks, knives, and spoons came at them.
Jasmine picked up a barrel and used it as a shield, gaining a few utensils in the process.
Eva stood by the treasure with a mean look on her face. She looked back and forth making sure no one was around to try and steal it. As silverware came at her, she body-blocked it with her arms, even kicking a few back at them.
"Quick! Into the captain's quarters!" Dawn called out to Dakota who had begun panicking. The moonchild grabbed her arm and pulled her into the room where it was mostly quiet aside from the faint sound of battle outside.
"Okay just breathe." Dawn coached her. "We can't have you turning into Dakotazoid now, you'd sink the ship for sure. Truthfully I'm still not sure how we're afloat right now..."
Back outside, Samey and Cody were returning fire, this time with actual cannonballs.
One of the balls landed on the deck of the other ship, creating a large hole. "Oh, so you're tellin' me they had more ammo?" Leshawna frowned. "Cheap." She rolled her eyes.
Back on The Queen Chef's Revenge, Amy was trying to avoid being hit by the various utensils flying at her. A spoon whizzed by her head causing her to yelp. "Hey! Watch the merchandise!" She snapped before a knife came at her. The cheerleader quickly ducked and screamed. She pulled off the top of a barrel and jumped in to hide, putting the cover back on. "Ew! There's gross fish in here!" She could be heard whining.
"TIME TO BOARD!" Duncan called out, raising his machete once again. He climbed up a rope and swung across the water, landing on the enemy ship, causing alarm among Team Sisikwew.
Behind him, Geoff, Dave, Sky, and Courtney all laid out long planks of wood, connecting the two ships. They ran across, all wielding weapons as well.
"Continue to fire! But try to avoid hitting our teammates!" Harold said, eyeing Trent.
"You just gonna stand there and boss us around or are you actually gonna help?" Leshawna questioned as she brought more silverware over to the cannons.
"I am helping!" Harold said defensively. "By giving orders! That's what the captain does." He explained.
Now it was utter chaos on the battlefield.
Jasmine and Sky were clashing swords together, both grinning because they knew their opponent was skilled.
Geoff came at Owen with a loud wail, raising his sword. Owen saw him coming and let go of the wheel for a second to grab a barrel. Out of self defense, the tubby teen charged forward with a battle cry and plowed right into Geoff.
Izzy and Duncan had soon taken the battle into the skies. They were now perched atop one of the masts by the crow's nest. Dave was there for backup, trying to get in the action but to no avail. "Admit defeat!" Duncan insisted.
"NEVER!" Izzy declared.
Back down below, Courtney was attacking Samey. Cody was doing his best to defend her, but wasn't quite the swashbuckling hero he wanted to be.
Silverware and cannonballs continued to fly back and forth, the exchange damaging parts of both ships.
Eva continued to survey her surroundings, so far no one had decided to pick a fight with her. She deflected another spoon and kicked a knife away. As she did this however, a fork sailed right through her defense, striking her right in the neck. The fork pierced the collar, causing it to fizzle out and electrocute her.
Eva jolted as the electricity coursed through her veins. Then, she collapsed, breathing out a ring of smoke. She groaned, unable to get up.
The collar broke apart and fell to the deck where Scarlett quickly ran by and snatched it up.
(Outhouse Confessional – Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? Bismillah! No, we will not let you go (let him go!)(x3) Will not let you go (let him go!)
Scarlett – "Tragic that the collar has been destroyed, but using the data that I have gathered, I have deduced that I need to make several improvements. I will simply re-manufacture the pieces back into the new product." She explained.
Up atop the mast, Duncan spotted Eva out cold and quickly made his move. He tossed his sword back to Dave who quickly began clashing with Izzy in an effort to distract her. Duncan then jumped down, caught a rope, and swung over to the subdued Eva.
"I'll be taking this." The punk grinned, pulling the chest away.
"They've got the chest! Stop them!" Noah shouted, running over to try and take it back. After a short tug-of-war, Duncan shoved the chest into Noah, knocking him back before making off with the loot.
Duncan crossed over to his ship and slid the chest behind him. "SINK 'EM!" He commanded.
Leshawna grabbed a candelabra and stuffed it into the front of the cannon. She lit the fuse and a few seconds later, the makeshift weapon slammed right into what was left of the hull, snapping it in two.
Everyone stopped fighting upon hearing the loud snap. "Uh-oh..." Was all Noah had time to say before the massive galleon began toppling over. There was no longer a rib to support it and it came crashing down.
"NOOOOO!" Izzy wailed as she and the rest of her ship plunged into the water.
"A captain always goes down with her ship!" Duncan cackled as he and what was left of his team sailed away.
The McLean's Delight came to a halt at the beach of Pahkitew. "And Team Kihew secures victory!" Chris declared as Duncan lobbed the chest off the ship and onto the beach below.
"Aw yeah, who knows how to improvise?!" Leshawna whooped.
"Team Sisikwew," Chris said, turning to the teens just now washing up on the shore, "I'll see your scurvy butts at the voting ceremony tonight!"
A collective groan came from the tired campers.
Samey wrung out her hair as she made her way back to her cabin. She was slightly worried about tonight. Was Amy going to come for her? Who was she gonna vote for. It would be common sense to vote off Amy, but she wanted to know what Jasmine had in plan.
She pushed open the door to the girl's side of the cabin and found Jasmine and Dawn inside. "Where's everyone else?" Samey asked.
"Dakota is taking a shower, she said lake water was bad for her hair." Dawn informed her.
"And frankly I could care less where Eva and Amy are." Jasmine shook her head.
"So who are we gonna vote for tonight?" Samey asked.
Jasmine sighed. "Well, I know you want Amy gone, believe me I do too, but I think we need to get rid of Eva tonight." She said. "She's a ticking time bomb of rage and we can't trust her."
"I do sense a dark aura surrounding her." Dawn nodded.
"Not to mention she also let Duncan get away with the treasure." Jasmine noted.
Samey nodded. "Okay, fair point. So we get rid of Amy next time then?"
"Definitely." Jasmine nodded.
"Oh," Dawn spoke up, "Cody said he was looking for you."
"Really?" Samey wondered eagerly. "Did he say where he'd be?"
"I'm afraid not, I guess you could check the guy's side." She suggested.
Samey quickly ran out the door and across the porch to the other side of the cabin. She politely knocked before entering. "Come in!" Noah hollered from his bed. "Oh, it's you. What do you want?" He asked.
"I'm just looking for Cody." Samey answered a bit awkwardly seeing that it was only Owen and Noah in the cabin.
Owen giggled. "Are you guys gonna go on a romantic date?" He asked.
Samey blushed. "Um, I'm not sure yet..." She replied. "Dawn just said he was looking for me."
"Well good luck with that." Noah said, not taking his eyes off of his book.
"Uh, thanks." Samey waved goodbye.
The cheerleader racked her brain. Where could he be? Maybe he was already at the bonfire pit? She ran across the land-bridge to the elimination area. "Nope." She sighed out loud.
She turned around to see Cody. "Oh! There you are!" She smiled. "Dawn said you were looking for me."
"Yeah, Cody scratched the back of his neck anxiously. He was holding a large flat object covered by a tarp. "I was kind of wondering if you maybe wanted to . . . go out sometime?" He winced, bracing for rejection.
Samey beamed. "I'd love to!"
Cody sighed. "Alright, it was worth a shot—wait did you say yes?!" He exclaimed in shock.
Samey nodded, still smiling. "Say, what's that?" She asked, pointing to the mystery gift.
"Oh, it's a painting." Cody said, pulling off the tarp to reveal Gwen's beautiful painting of Samey dressed as an angel. "Gwen painted it for me to you."
Samey marveled at it. "This is amazing!" She exclaimed. "You said it was...for me?" She asked for clarification.
"Yup!" Cody grinned. "Gwen painted it just for you!"
"Wow, she has some real artistic talent!" Samey gawked.
"You've got that right. She also left a little note to hide it from Amy." Cody added.
"Good idea." Samey nodded.
Unbeknownst to them, Amy was watching from a large nearby bush. She frowned upon seeing the gift.
(Outhouse Confessional – Never, never let you go. Never let me go, oh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!)
Amy – "Ugh! Now Samey's got a boyfriend, Blech!" She recoiled. "And he gave her a gift." She made a gagging motion. "I've gotta find that thing!"
"Come on! It's gotta be around here somewhere!" Amy grumbled, rummaging through Samey's luggage, tossing out various items that were of no value to her.
"What are you doing?" Scarlett asked her upon walking into the otherwise empty cabin.
"Just looking for something stupid..." Amy muttered.
"Then why are you looking for it?" Scarlett inquired.
"Ugh! Never mind, what do you want?" Amy snapped.
"I'm here to let you know who we're voting for tonight." Scarlett whispered a name into Amy's ear. "In order for this plan to work, I need you to get Dakota on board with this as well."
"That won't be hard." Amy scoffed. "She's practically brainless.
One could say the same thing for you, she wanted to say but refrained from doing so.
(Outhouse Confessional – Oh mamma mia, mamma mia, Mama mia, let me go!)
Scarlett – "The others will likely be voting for Amy due to their strong dislike for her. However, if she and Dakota are voting Eva and the rest of my alliance is voting Dakota, the numbers even out to Dakota going home." She explained her strategy.
It was now nighttime and the glow of the campfire signaled it was time to send someone home. Chris stood before them with a plate of ten marshmallows. "You had the treasure, but then you lost it!" Chris laughed, causing everyone to look at Eva, "Let's see who's taking the blame!"
Eva was very confused. Her memory of the challenge only went as far as looking for parts of the map. She had no idea what had happened in the time between then and now, but it didn't appear to be good.
"When I call your name, that means you are safe." Chris told them. "Jasmine. Samey. Cody." He listed, tossing marshmallows to all three of them in order.
The host paused for a moment. "Dawn and Owen." Dawn happily caught her marshmallow while Owen just caught it with his mouth and sucked it right in.
"Scarlett, Noah, and Amy." Chris read next. Scarlett looked shocked. Amy wasn't on the chopping block? Something wasn't right.
"Izzy." Chris finished, handing out the third to last marshmallow.
"And we're down to our final two." Chris said. "One of you will lose your shot at one million dollars. And that person is..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
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"..."
"Eva." Chris finally said, tossing the last marshmallow to Dakota.
"What?!" Eva exclaimed. She was being eliminated and she had no idea why.
Scarlett clenched her fists. This wasn't at all how it was supposed to go. How could she have made this error in judgment?
"Sorry Eva, but it looks like it's time for you to go!" Chris said.
"Wait!" Eva exclaimed, suddenly remembering. To everyone's shock and surprise, she pulled out a McLean Invincibility idol.
"Whoa! The idol!" Chris exclaimed, also shocked. "I was waiting for someone to play one of those!" He grinned. "And with all votes against Eva negated, it looks like our lucky loser is . . . Dakota! Again..."
"What?!" Dakota cried. "But I had the perfect plan! I was gonna be the dumb blonde, but not really!" She shouted. "Wait...did I just say that out loud?"
"Yup, but it doesn't matter because you're on a one way trip to the Cruise of Lose!" Chris said, motioning to the Boot of Shame.
"No! Not the boot again!" The heiress yelped.
(Outhouse Confessional – Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeeeee!)
Scarlett – "For once, I am so confused..." She groaned, holding her head. "So it seems everyone voted Eva instead of Amy like I had projected. But then Eva had an idol that I somehow didn't know about...so Dakota went home anyway? I think this is a win for me..." She said, still doubting herself.
Jasmine – "That did not go down how we had planned..." She frowned.
Dakota stood on the red X, still in shock about what had just happened. "Quick, before she turns into Dakotazoid again!" Chris blurted.
The host smashed the button on his remote control and Dakota was kicked high into the air with a high-pitched scream that soon turned into a low, rumbly one. "Whew, just in time." Chris breathed after hearing a loud splash.
(Outhouse Confessional – So you think you can stone be and spit in my eye? So you think you can love me and leave me to die?)
Amy – "I thought Eva was supposed to go home!" She exclaimed. "But of course she had a stupid idol! Now my backup plan is toast! It looks like all I have right now is Scarlett." She sighed distastefully.
Eva- "I still have no idea what just happened." She threw her hands up. "And worst of all I had to waste my idol because of it! I was saving that for later!"
"So Team Kihew, who's going to Exile?" Chris asked. Duncan pulled his team into a huddle as they discussed for a few seconds. Duncan nodded and then they broke.
"We choose Jasmine and Eva." Duncan decided.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Jasmine threw up her hands.
(Outhouse Confessional – Oh, baby, can't do this to me baby! Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!
Jasmine- "Back to exile, and now I have to go with Eva." She grumbled. "This is gonna be good." She said sarcastically."
"With Dakota gone for good, we're down to 20 contestants! How will Cody and Samey's relationship fare now that they're actually dating? Will Jasmine be able to put up with Eva and Exile? And can Trent stop messing up? Find out next time here, on Total...Drama...Unfinished Business!" The host closed out.
Votes:
Izzy- Dakota
Owen- Dakota
Noah- Dakota
Eva- Dakota
Jasmine- Eva (Negated)
Samey- Eva (Negated)
Cody- Eva (Negated)
Dawn- Eva (Negated)
Dakota- Eva (Negated)
Amy- Eva (Negated)
Scarlett- Dakota
– –
Eva- 6 (Negated)
Dakota- 5
– –
Voted Off: Topher, DJ, Ella, Alejandro, Anne Maria, Ezekiel, Dakota (RETURNED), Jo, Sadie, Heather, Tyler, Brick, Rodney, B, Katie, Max, Gwen, Dakota
Reason: I know some of you were intrigued to see how Dakota's strategy of playing the dumb blonde would play out, but it just wasn't meant to be. Dakota's one of those characters who thinks she's smart but ends up getting duped and that's what happened here. She was fooling Scarlett though so who knows, maybe it would have worked ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
~A/N~ AAAHHH! I'm so sorry for leaving you guys in the dark for so long ( A third of a year I'm told?!) I've already explained why in the first A/N but I definitely want to apologize again! I'm going to try really hard not to have that long of a time between updates, but no promises. Just know that it'll be coming! Be sure to check out my DeviantArt which is the same name as my Fanfiction account. I'd link it but Fanfiction doesn't seem to like links. I post journals occasionally, art, and I also have sneak peaks for upcoming episodes so check that out! I also wanted to note that from now on, I'll be writing out the theme song lyrics like I did for this episode. It just feels cleaner to me. I'll also be using "xxx" to indicate when a scene transitions through a flash. I won't use it all the time but if you see that, that's what it means. I like it better for short blurbs rather than using the long line fanfiction gives. Those are better suited for actual scene transitions.
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[1]- The two ship names are references to the real life ships The Queen Anne's Revenge and The Bachelor's Delight. These parody names were first used (as far as I know) by an author by the name of Creaturemaster in his Total Drama: Pahkitew's Vengeance story. It's actually complete and some of the contestants are superheroes! Check it out of you want.
[2]- This is an iconic gag from the first Pirate's of the Caribbean movie and I just had to include it. You'll notice that Izzy did just about every reference here and I think you can understand why.
[3]- Another hilarious quote from Pirates of the Caribbean that has turned into a meme. I don't know about you, but I'd love to have a jar of dirt.
[4]- This was just a small gag that I added in from the Phineas and Ferb episode where they build a giant Platypus monster. I can't remember the title but it was pretty funny and it fit here so I decided to put it in.
[5]- Proof that you should never stop yourself from suggesting something! Samey's favorite band Paragon is a reference to the real-life band Paramore. A reader actually suggested this as well as the twenty-questions bit! You never know, I might use your ideas!
[6]- Oh Lazytown, you never fail to give us good memes. There's actually this theory that we'll get a new Lazytown meme every four years. I don't know, I think it could stand to be every four months ;)
[7]- This song is the song at the beginning of the fourth(?) installment of Pirates of the Caribbean: At Wit's End which this episode title is also based off of. Before I forget, the first song Izzy was singing is of course, Yo Ho Yo Ho A Pirate's Life For Me from the classic Disney park's attraction Pirates of the Caribbean. You didn't think I wouldn't cram this episode full of POTC references did you?
[8]- A classic gag from arguably one of the best Spongebob episodes, the "You're Good" gag never fails to make me laugh. Between the look on the Flying Dutchman's face to the bits of the ship's hull flying past Spongebob's face as he tells Patrick he's good, I just had to include it.
[9]- And finally, this last reference was once again from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie when they had to use silverware as ammo. Unfortunately no one in the Total Drama cast has a wooden eye so I couldn't launch a fork into it :/
Oh yeah, and one more thing before I go...
Nothing really matters, anyone can see.
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me,
Any way the wind blows . . .
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Next: We're walking on thin ice!