Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It
Chapter 18: Ablaze
Walking up the paved walkway of Mason Treadwell's cottage behind Amanda Clarke, Jack sighed quietly to himself as a gust of wind blew the hood from his head exposing his face. It was a quiet evening, just past eight in the Hampton's. The sun had set but the skies hadn't completely darkened yet although the moon was peaking through the dark clouds. There was nobody in sight, no one to keep an eye on these two teens donned in all black suspiciously approaching an unattended house, but still, he felt nervous. Luckily for them, Mason lived in a secluded area along the outskirts of the Hamptons, with not another house or neighbour nearby. It was a modest, rustic looking house made of red and brown brick, with a pretty lawn surrounded by well-groomed shrubs and a Northern red oak tree in front. With his celebrity author status, he could certainly afford a much larger and more modern-looking home, but even Jack couldn't deny that it did have a certain idyllic charm to it. It appeared to be Mason Treadwell's pride and joy, the place he felt most free to express his writing. He had proudly bragged to Amanda that the house had at one time belonged to Hemingway.
The fool. Jack couldn't help thinking. Mason had given Amanda everything she needed the moment he had texted her his address.
"You ready for this?", Amanda asked Jack as they approached the door.
"Of course" Jack responded more steadily than he felt. The plan was simple. They break into Mason's house while Nolan was distracting him at dinner, they take the tapes of David Clarke and anything valuable to make it look like a break-in, and then they leave.
"Nolan said that there's no security system or alarm for this house, so I just have to pick the lock to get inside and we'll be good."
"Are you sure you know how to pick a lock?" Jack asked skeptically, "Cause we could just...".
"No, of course, I do", Amanda interrupted obstinately as she pulled a bobby pin out of her hair, and jammed it into the lock on the doorknob of the front door. "It's easy".
Watching as Amanda fiddled with the bobby pin in the lock, Jack sighed impatiently, "come on, we could just…"
"No, I've nearly got it," Amanda replied stubbornly, cutting him off again as her face creased in frustration. "I can feel it".
Jack rolled his eyes, a chuckle escaping his throat. He could either be frustrated by her stubbornness or amused and he preferred to be amused, "You're going to get us caught" he mumbled eliciting a glare from Amanda, before she continued to fiddle with the lock.
Leaving her to her own devices, Jack walked around the side of the house in search of a window that they might be able to enter through. Quickly finding one, Jack peaked through the glass to find the kitchen. It was locked from the outside, but unlike Amanda, Jack didn't need a clean opening. Wasn't it supposed to look like a robbery anyway? Finding the largest rock he could among the bushes, Jack took a few steps backwards and smashed the rock through the window. Then sticking his arm through the crack in the window being careful of the jagged glass edges, Jack fiddled with the lock from the inside and pulled the window up.
"Jack" Amanda whispered loudly, following the sound of the shattered glass to the side of the house.
"In here," Jack whispered with a smirk as Amanda peaked through the opened window to find Jack standing inside Mason's kitchen amidst broken glass. "Much easier than you working on that lock, you should have listened to me".
Amanda scoffed, "If the lock wasn't so old and rusty, I would have easily gotten in".
Jack scoffed back at her, she was still making excuses, "Just admit it you're just a regular teenager like me, who knows shit about picking a lock". Sometimes he swore she thought she was a Japanese trained ninja or something.
Amanda frowned at him and shook her head as she carefully swung her legs through the window so she that was sitting on the window sill before hoisting herself down onto the kitchen floor, being careful of the shards of glass.
"Alright," she murmured begrudgingly, "this may have been easier, Jack".
"I know" he replied with an infuriating smirk, as he pulled out his flashlight from his pocket and made his way into the hallway, "Sometimes you should listen to me".
Amanda rolled her eyes at him, but couldn't help the smile that escaped her as she pulled out her own flashlight and followed him from behind. He was right. She really should. Jack was always dependable.
Her smile did not last long though as Amanda took in what appeared to be Mason's living room, and main place of writing. Observing his ancient-looking typewriter, antique writing utensils, and first edition copies of the classics displayed proudly on his bookshelf, a wave of derision washed over her. So this is what he had wanted, this is why Mason had betrayed her father, so that he could have the modern fame and wealth of a successful writer in the 21st century while living quaintly in the fantasy world of past writers. He made her sick. And she wanted him to feel the same.
"I found them," Jack said, breaking her from her thoughts as his flashlight shone over the tapes in the cabinet. Tapes she desperately hoped contained some insight into how to prove her father's innocence. Keeping her flashlight on, Jack placed his down, and quickly took off his backpack and began loading all the tapes.
"Alright, I have them all," Jack murmured as he zipped up his bag and swung the straps around his shoulders. "Let's go". This almost felt too easy to him and that made him nervous. He wasn't accustomed to breaking and entering, or theft, and he certainly did not want to get accustomed to the police station and juvy if they were to get caught. Adrenaline had been pumping through his veins as soon as he had thrown the rock through the window and jumped through, but that had wore off and now his nerves had returned. They got what they wanted. Now they just needed to get the hell out of the house and to safety.
"You start up the car, I'm just going to make it look like a robbery," Amanda replied dubiously.
"Amanda, that's not even necessary, just grab that gold watch and antique clock and let's go!" Jack pressed.
"He's going to know it's me, Jack, unless I make it look like a convincing robbery, make it look like the tapes were just an afterthought."
Jack sighed deeply, "Alright, lets..."
"No!" Amanda said firmly and instantly, "take the tapes and start the car, you know your father's truck can act up sometimes and we need a quick escape. I'll be quick I promise."
Jack paused looking towards Amanda with hesitation. She had a strange look on her face that he couldn't quite place. His instincts were telling him to stay with her, but she seemed adamant that he leave and staying or arguing with her would only delay their great escape.
"Alright," he said slowly, with a firm nod of his head, rationalizing that maybe her nerves had just started to kick in now too and that was why she was acting weird.
"Just be quick, I'll be waiting and on the lookout from the car?"
Amanda nodded her head in return, "Yup sounds good" she murmured dismissively as she carefully watched Jack walk down the hallway and out the front door. Upon the door quietly shutting, Amanda breathed in deeply trying to steady herself and her raging emotions before slowly exhaling. She kept looking at the spot where her father's tapes had sat on the shelf catching dust, when they should have been used years ago to help prove her father's innocence.
It infuriated her, as she knew it would, but it wasn't until standing in Mason Treadwell's home surrounded by all his prized antiques, that it dawned on her how to get back at him. She would take it away. Just like he had taken away her last image of her father, figuratively and literally. As the very picture of her father that he had used for the front cover of his book, had been the innocent picture she had held onto as a child and shown him secretly in trust. She would take it away and make it sting like he had. The tapes were the goal and they had that now but that wasn't enough. She wanted to hurt him. She wanted payback.
Grabbing a single cigarette from the cigarette case she spotted on his mahogany desk. Amanda grabbed the slick black lighter nearby and lighted the butt of the cigarette before placing it down on what appeared to be a thick manuscript he was writing, the title containing her father's name.
Amanda smirked as the fire licked up the ink from the paper burning away her father's name from Mason's tainted and twisted words. She watched as that spark grew stronger, devouring his whole manuscript down to black ashes and dancing dangerously across his mahogany desk towards his precious typewriter.
There was something about fire that she loved. It was just so entrancing and so powerful. She had struck many matches as a child, just to watch the fire flicker dangerously down the match and towards her little fingers. She waited until she felt the heat of the fire, but not the burn before blowing out the flame, and lighting another one. It was a foster home pastime of hers. It had been exciting. Teasing with danger by playing with fire had helped her not to feel so numb. All it took was one spark, one little flame to grab hold of something and then chaos ensued.
Jack stared anxiously towards the front door of the house waiting for Amanda to walk out. It hadn't even been five minutes yet but he was nervous. Looking down at his phone to check the time, when Jack looked back towards the house, panic rose instantly in his stomach and he did not wait for it to settle. Stepping out the car, Jack instantly ran straight towards the front door, colliding into Amanda as she stepped out of the house.
Smoke filled his nostrils, and a dry cough escaped his throat, as he grabbed Amanda's hands and pulled her towards his truck. There was no time for questions not now with black smoke billowing rapidly from the house and orange flames beginning to dance in his peripheral vision.
It wasn't until he revved up the car engine and placed his hands on the steering wheel that he realized his hands were shaking. Turning to look at Amanda carefully, his blue eyes intently on hers, Jack let out a sigh of relief he didn't even know he was holding. She was fine. He didn't even need to ask. Her eyes were a little red from the smoke, but that was about it, he hadn't even heard her cough from any bad signs of smoke inhalation. She was unphased and unhurt but somehow his worry did not subside. "We should call 911" he finally spoke.
"I will, we need to get out of here first though" Amanda prompted, eyeing him carefully back with a twinge of guilt. Jack appeared steady, but she could see it in the way he tightly gripped the steering wheel trying to steady his hands, and from the worry lines creasing his forehead. He was anxious and she hated that it was because of what she had done. Don't worry she wanted to tell him, I know what I'm doing, I did this on purpose, but she knew that would only increase his worry. All he would see was her recklessness and the trouble it could cause her. So instead of talking, Amanda reached out and very tentatively placed her hand on his leg as some kind of tactile reassurance. Jack glanced down towards her hand in surprise and a brief soft smile flitted across his lips as he pressed his foot on the acceleration pedal.
"Turn left" Amanda directed softly, as the truck began to lull forward. She hadn't planned this, but being naturally astute she knew that if they turned left instead of right and drove back the long way. They could avoid the fire department and police department and not be seen coming from the crime.
Jack simply nodded his head and veered the car left. He knew that it was the long way back but he also knew that if Amanda was telling him to go that way then there was a good reason for it. Catching sight of the now very large flames of Mason's burning house in his peripheral vision as they turned the corner, Jack snuck a glance at Amanda, who was staring back coolly at the scorching fire. Her calmness and collectedness spoke volumes and left a sinking feeling in his stomach that even her touch could not completely dissipate. What had she done?
As if sensing his doubts in her, Amanda unconsciously lifted her hand from his leg and placed it back on her own lap. Wetting her lips, she opened her mouth, ready to say it, to confirm what he probably already knew, but Amanda found herself faltering when he removed his right hand from the steering wheel and reached across so his hand now rested on top of her hand, his thumb grazing her lower thigh. Feeling the colour flush to her cheeks instantly, Amanda turned her head out of the window, trying to focus on the trees whizzing by instead of his gentle hand touching her. Why did a simple touch of his feel so intimate, so affectionate? She'd touched him and it had felt comfortable, but his hand on hers felt different somehow. Maybe it was because when she'd pulled away he'd pulled back towards her, even knowing what she did.
She didn't want to talk about it anymore, not right now with such a comfortable silence between them, and something told her Jack had the same sentiment.
Taking a seat next to Amanda on the plush couch in Nolan's living room, Jack placed his backpack down on the floor between their legs and then turned his gaze to Amanda. There was no more beating around the bush, no more comfortable silences or gentle touches between them until he knew the truth. "So what happened at Mason's?"
"You already know" Amanda replied intently, looking back unapologetically into Jack's serious eyes. Why was he waiting for her to say it? "I set his house on fire, Jack".
Jack squeezed his eyes shut as her words confirmed his fear, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he opened his eyes again, his brows furrowing in frustration. "Why?" He questioned, trying to keep his tone steady. The last thing he wanted was a fight with her, "we had the tapes, we had what we wanted".
"I wanted him to pay," Amanda responded stubbornly.
"So was this your plan all along?" Jack questioned further, this time unable to hide the edge in his voice from the uncomfortable feeling that he had been used. He was still trying to figure out who this Amanda Clarke was in the present. After her panic attack, the day she'd learnt the truth about her father, something inside of her had shifted. He still remembered the look in her eyes when she vowed to make them all pay….by any means. But he had naively thought he was the exception and would not be used by her as a pawn. "From the moment you made the deal with Mason at the bar?"
Amanda shook her head slowly, biting down hard on her lip. It wasn't like that. She could hear the accusation in Jack's voice as though she had purposefully deceived him but Amanda had not planned for this to happen.
It was only after standing in Mason's house surrounded by all his loved possessions that she had felt the desire to destroy it all. To hurt him as he had her. She hadn't even known how at first, she had just spotted the cigarettes, and then as if on autopilot, she had calmly lit the butt and placed the burning cigarette on the manuscript igniting the flames. For the briefest of moments, she had watched the flames, trying to sear her anger and pain into them...trying to get rid of them. It hadn't worked; she hadn't felt any less angry or any less sad, and despite the saying that revenge is sweet she hadn't derived much pleasure from it. What she had felt was powerful and power was madly intoxicating. Power was exactly what she needed to take down the Graysons and so she had held onto that moment even as her eyes watered from the smoke, and an uncomfortable heat swaddled her body, and her throat tried to cough out whatever smoke she had accidentally inhaled. She would make them all pay. With that last searing thought, Amanda had hastily walked out of the burning house, her thoughts so occupied with revenge, that she hadn't noticed Jack until his body had collided into hers, grabbing onto her arm firmly. "Let's go" his body had silently told her as he led her to the car not even giving her a chance to look back at her handiwork.
"I didn't plan this".
"So it was when you asked me to start the car" Jack speculated. He knew she had been acting strange back then but he had never expected her to start a fire. That was the last time he left her alone in a situation like that. "You lied to me," he accused.
"I didn't lie" Amanda objected fiercely "I wouldn't lie to you. I was just angry, I didn't know what I was going to do, even if I was going to do anything. I just knew I wanted you away from it."
Jack frowned at her, "I don't even know what's worse, you starting a fire on a whim or it being premeditated".
"He deserved it Jack!" Amanda boldly defended, her eyes narrowing back sharply at him, hating the look of disappointment in his eyes, but even worse his words implying that she was crazy. Mason Treadwell deserved this. How could he not see that?
So you set a man's house on fire?" Jack responded incredulously.
"You saw all his prized possessions and antiques, his life's work in there. That house was Mason Treadwell's pride. Like my father was my pride as a child. Back then, Mason was the only adult who ever affirmed my beliefs in my father's innocence, he said he believed me and that he would help. Stupid me believed him, but when I read his book, he had massacred my father, and worse made me believe that all the lies were true. I'll never forgive him for that. He deserved this, Jack!"
Jack momentarily squeezed his eyes shut again. Her anger or her pain, it was so hard to decipher the difference anymore had been boring into him through her amber-brown eyes. He hated that look, and the chills it gave him, and the way it made him want to pull her into him and wrap her protectively in his arms. But he feared that she would push him away and that those emotions fueled her more than his love for her ever could. She needed to finish this, that much he knew; for her soul, for her peace of mind, for retribution, and selfishly just for the satisfaction of revenge. But he didn't want her to lose herself in the process. That's what he feared most, that the Amanda Clarke he knew would get buried within her wrath.
"Yes", Jack replied soundly, "But, that doesn't mean you have to be the one to hurt him, you're better than this Amanda! He'll get what's coming to him when the truth is revealed."
Amanda shook her head, "No he won't" she argued cynically, "What Mason did was immoral but not illegal, he'd probably just write a whole David Clarke redemption book and make millions."
"He'd be blackballed in the industry".
"No, Jack, I'm not waiting around for the universe to punish all these corrupt people. You think karma's going to get them all?" she scoffed, "Karma's just what good people say to convince themselves that something terrible will happen to bad people because they don't know how to get back at them themselves".
Jack clenched his fists in frustration, hating that he couldn't get through to her. What was her end game? Play lady justice and start fires in everyone's life who had wronged her father. How did she not realize that if she began to start all these fires she'd eventually end up getting burned in those very flames she created. "You can't go setting people's houses on fire Amanda! What if there was an innocent bystander nearby? What if the fire spread past Mason's house and wasn't put out? What if you and I got caught? Did you think about any of that?"
"I'm not stupid Jack! I wouldn't have done it if the house wasn't in a secluded area. There was no one around, and we were not going to get caught. And if we did, I'd take the blame, say it was all me. I'd make sure you didn't…"
Jack shook his head furiously as he stood up from the couch. He didn't want to argue with her any longer. She was too bull-headed to listen, and she didn't get it. Her words only made him feel worse. How was he supposed to protect Amanda if she was trying to protect him?
"Where are you going?" Amanda asked angrily, as she stood up from the couch now too. He couldn't leave. She had given him an ultimatum once, "You're either with me or in my way" when he had questioned her path of revenge. Despite her harsh tone and either harsher words, he had replied that he was with her always. She had never thanked him for that; thanked him for agreeing to stick by her and for not calling her bluff because the truth was that she needed him more than she could articulate, and certainly more than she could show him. Jack was her anchor, even if she strayed into muddy waters, if Jack was with her she knew she would always be able to find her way back.
Jack turned back around to face her, "I'm going home" he replied in exasperation, "You're reckless Amanda! You always have been, but we're not kids anymore. There are real consequences here. Burning down Mason's house has nothing to do with restoring your father's name."
Amanda bit down hard on her lip, clenching her fists in frustration as her nails dug sharply into the fleshy part of her hand underneath her thumb. So what if burning his house was more about her, than her father; and revenge over retribution, it was the same to her. But she didn't say that to Jack, instead, she tried to swallow back down all her fury for his behalf. "I don't want to fight with you, Jack" she quietly stated. It hurt to see him mad, especially at her, anger was supposed to be her emotion to bear….not his. "I'm sorry, okay?".
Jack faltered, a painful smile flashing across his face as his blue eyes stared intently into hers. She wasn't usually one to surrender first. Okay, he wanted to simply say, to forget their argument and sit back down on the couch with her while they waited for Nolan to connect the tapes to her laptop so that they could watch them. But Jack knew that her sorry was for him, and not for her actions. She was sorry that Jack disagreed, sorry that they were fighting, but she was not sorry that she had burnt a man's house down. She didn't regret it, she would do it all again if it felt like penance, and that didn't sit well with him. He loved her, but wasn't it wrong to blindly support every wrong action of hers? He had to be her anchor to pull her back when she strayed too far, and to be that he couldn't blindly follow her. "I have to go" he added firmly on principle now.
The softness in Amanda's eyes instantly hardened, "Fine," she replied coolly as she brushed straight past him towards the front door. Grabbing the handle, she held the door wide open for him, "Leave".
She wasn't going to beg Jack to stay if that's what he was expecting, it took a lot for her to say sorry, to surrender and yet he still rejected it. He just didn't understand at all.
Jack shook his head as he began to walk towards the door. Amanda hadn't changed, it was just like her to sulk when she didn't get her way. It was just that now her scowl was much meaner. She forgot that he knew her more than anyone else. He wasn't scared of her anger or her cold shoulder because he knew what was hidden behind her walls; the little girl he had befriended on the beach all those years ago. She was still there, he caught glimpses of her even now in this older and more complex Amanda Clarke. He saw her in her smile, behind the irises of her eyes, and like now in her stubborn actions and words. It just saddened him, how much pain she had gone through and how much it had stolen the lightness from her heart.
"Don't look at me like that, Jack!", Amanda sharply accused him, as he tried to step past her and through the open door. Pausing in front of her instead, Jack warily turned his face to hers. Even donned in all black, with messy hair and angry brown eyes, she was so beautiful to him. He wanted to stay mad at her though, he needed to, so that maybe she would understand that she was wrong.
"Like what?" he challenged. He couldn't help it how he saw her; that he saw the darker parts of her just as well as her beauty.
Like she was wrong or damaged or a bad person, Amanda wanted to say but found she couldn't. It was too hard to voice her insecurities. "Nevermind" she muttered with a frown, "Just go home if that's what you want".
Jack frowned back at her, finding himself taking a step even closer towards her, "You know that's not what I want, Amanda". There was something about anger that made him bolder, or maybe it wasn't anger but frustration, or maybe just desperation. It had been weeks since he had kissed Amanda, and he still thought about it every day. But they hadn't talked about it. Not once, not the kiss, not his feelings, and definitely not hers. He hadn't wanted to push her, not with the truth about her father being revealed and her subsequent vow for justice. There was already enough on her plate, and so he had tried not to think about it.
But now standing so close to her, it was all he could think about. She was driving him crazy, acting like he was doing her wrong, when he would never dare to. Didn't she know that, that he cared? He was mad at her, and she was mad at him, but truly they weren't really mad at each other, they were just frustrated that they couldn't see eye to eye, that they couldn't agree. But maybe they could agree on something else.
Jack was looking at her differently now, there wasn't the worry and the frustration that had been heavy behind his blue eyes bearing disappointedly onto her. No, now Amanda saw something more confusing, something scarier…..she saw desire, and it terrified her. How could he want her? How could he tell her that she was wrong and that she'd gone too far but then turn around and look at her like this? It was maddening and she hated it. She felt off-balance, and it made her stomach flutter uncomfortably. She needed to be in control, and she needed to stop it, and so she did the only thing she could think of in the moment to escape it. She closed her eyes and tilted her head up towards Jack's, her soft lips pressing against his own.
Jack kissed her back passionately, his heart pounding so heavily against his chest that it deafened out all other sound. Snaking his right arm around her slim waist, Jack pulled her closer into him, catching the low moan that escaped Amanda's lips on his own. Jack wasn't tentative like their first kiss, but she didn't need him to be, not this time. She wanted to feel him against her; she wanted to feel his desire; she wanted him to make her feel anything but the deep anger that rumbled inside of her. "Amanda", he murmured softly between their lips, as they broke apart for air. His breathing was hot and heavy, it tickled her skin as he softly pressed his lips against her flushed cheeks, and then back on her lips once more his tongue beckoning for re-entry as he weaved his fingers softly through her blonde tresses.
Her lips tingled as he slowly pulled away, and finding the tenderness in his azure eyes too strong Amanda averted her eyes from his and took a dizzy step backwards, just as Jack pulled her back into him, his strong arms wrapping around her frame for a tight hug; trapping her. She froze, feeling a lump begin to form in the back of her throat. Amanda had forgotten how comforting a simple hug could actually be, and so for once she didn't fight it, and very slowly she began to relax into him.
Taking a seat back down on the couch next to a very subdued Amanda Clarke, Jack would have paid millions to hear her thoughts. What was she thinking? Did she regret it? Did she enjoy it? Reaching to grab her hand in his, to his dismay, Amanda shook off his touch, "Jack we…" she began to slowly murmur but whatever she was planning to say got interrupted by Nolan Ross briskly entering his living room. Jack was both half thankful and half upset by the interruption.
"Bonnie and Clyde….what the hell were you two thinking?" Nolan instantly reprimanded the outrage in his voice jolting Jack from his thoughts on Amanda back to arson. Funny how he could forget all that after one kiss with her.
"Why was Mason's house burnt to the ground when I dropped him off? What did you do? Bake a batch of cookies and forget to turn off the oven while stealing the tapes?".
"Nolan it's my fault, I…" Jack didn't know why he was trying to cover for Amanda. Maybe it was because he'd just kissed her and his heart was still fluttering from it. Or maybe because he'd already fought with her tonight, and didn't want to see that same anger in her eyes again as she argued with Nolan.
Amanda wasn't having it though, she instantly shook her head and interjected. "Jack had nothing to do with it. I burnt down Mason's house, Nolan... on purpose because I wanted to take something he loved away from him like he had done to me".
Nolan breathed out in exasperation through his nose, "Are you out of your mind? That was not part of our plan".
"Plans change", Amanda responded unapologetically.
"I didn't think we needed to have this talk, Amanda, but news flash, you can't just burn down people's houses because you're mad at them".
"It's deeper than that and you know it" Amanda pressed. "He sold out to the Grayson's and massacred my father's name, that's not okay. He deserves this".
"Yes, but not by you. Don't stoop to their level Amanda, you're better than this. I thought the goal was to clear your father's name".
"It is! But they need to pay for what they've done."
"They'll pay when the news of their treacherous actions come to light. What are you really planning to do, just burn down everyone's house that wronged your father?"
Amanda shook her head in frustration, as if that was feasible, "You don't understand" she replied bitterly.
"No, Amanda, you don't!" Nolan replied solemnly, " I just watched a grown man drop down to his knees in anguish and cry over the things he'd lost in the fire".
"His precious typewriter" Amanda scoffed, "Or let me guess his first edition copy of The Great Gatsby?"
Nolan shook his head, "no, precious mementoes from his family. War medals of his father who had died in war before he was old enough to even remember him... photo albums his mother had dutifully pieced together from childhood...things that can't be replaced, Amanda. He's a coward and a liar who did something atrocious, but he's still a human. You forget that.
Amanda swallowed down something deep in her throat, as she averted Nolan's penetrative gaze. Was that regret? She hadn't known. But had she known would she have refrained? And what did it say about her if she said no? He still deserved it, didn't he? Those were precious things he'd lost, but she'd lost a precious life. Her father's life….and maybe his words; the truth could have helped to save him.
"Jack and I agreed to help you clear your father's name, not go down a path of revenge. We did not sign up for this!" Nolan admonished.
"Leave Jack's name out of it" Amanda replied defensively. "He's…"
"No, Amanda" Jack interjected, wincing as she turned her head to glare at him, "Nolan's right, we don't want to see you get hurt, and we don't want you to let this consume you".
"Clearing my father's name and revenge is one and the same" Amanda replied stubbornly.
Nolan shook his head, "No it isn't. We do what we have to in order to clear your father's name from now on! Nothing more. I'm serious, I'm not going to watch you go down such a destructive path".
Amanda shook her head in resistance, standing up from the couch now, "And what are you going to do about it?" she challenged, fire flickering dangerously in her eyes, that to Nolan's credit he held unflinchingly, "You can't stop me Nolan, and you can't tell me what to do, you're not my father. The Grayson's killed him remember, they took away everything I ever loved!". And with those last words, Amanda sent them both one last scathing look before she stormed up to her room, her door banging shut behind her with a definitive thud. Hot tears brimmed in her eyes and spilled onto her cheeks before she even made it to her bed. They weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of anger and frustration, but nevertheless, she hated how vulnerable they made her feel. She missed him. With all her heart, she missed her father.
Amanda opened the front door to see Daniel Grayson quietly waiting for her on the porch. The last time she had seen him was when she was being led out by police officers at school and had screamed at him in resentment. He hadn't deserved that, he hadn't hurt her, his parents had...but not him. Ever since she got released from the police station, she'd been trying to remind herself of that. This whole thing with Daniel was so complicated. She was just so angry, and it was hard not to lash out at her enemies own flesh and blood, let alone trust him. But Daniel hadn't actually chosen a side, and despite her nasty attitude he had kept trying to be her friend. Why?
"What are you doing here?" Amanda questioned warily. He had called and left her a message that he was outside her house just after midnight. At first she'd ignored it, the second and third time too, but on the fourth ring she had picked up and told him she'd come down and see him. If anything, she owed him that. If it wasn't for him, she might have been packing for juvy right now.
"I wanted to see you," Daniel replied simply, a soft smile gracing his lips but not fully reaching his eyes. He looked exhausted, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders weighing him down. She wasn't used to this Daniel. Daniel to her had always exuded a calm confidence. He was never boastful or loud about it, but he had always seemed stable and unburdened by life.
"Well here I am", she dryly replied. Something about hearing the word want right now when she felt so unwanted pulled on her heartstrings, but she couldn't let it show.
"Are you okay?" Daniel asked her tenderly, refraining from stepping nearer to her knowing already that she would just recoil. He could tell that she'd had a rough day. Maybe it was because she was enveloped in an oversized sweater right now, making her look smaller and more vulnerable than she really was, or more likely it was because her eyes were red and slightly puffy as if she had been crying.
"I burnt down a man's house today"
Daniel chuckled slowly at her response, waiting for her to chuckle lightly back or half-smile in reciprocation of the joke, but awkward silence only prevailed, so he looked into her eyes more intently, "You're serious?"
Amanda simply nodded her head.
"Why?", Daniel instantly questioned. This was not what he had expected when he had asked her if she was okay.
"I was angry," Amanda replied sourly, "or hurt, or he deserved it, or I was reckless, or stupid. You pick".
"He deserved it," Daniel responded firmly, much to her surprise. He could tell right now that she needed to hear that, that she needed confirmation that she was anything but a slave to her emotions.
"You're not gonna ask me why he deserved it?" Amanda questioned back with raised eyebrows.
"Does it have something to do with your father?"
"Yes"
"Then I don't need to ask," Daniel responded knowingly, "but, if you're going to burn down the manor there's a few things I'd like to retrieve first, specifically my little sister Charlotte".
Amanda shook her head at his twisted joke, but a weak smile still flitted across her lips, so he claimed it as a minor victory. That's the most he had seen her smile in weeks. "I'm not going to burn down your house, Daniel".
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know," Amanda sighed tiredly, parting her lips to say more before firmly closing them shut, and narrowing her eyes suspiciously at Daniel as if remembering who she was talking to. "Trying to report back to your parents?". The bitter words fell out of her mouth before she could hold them in, and she hated it, how spiteful she could be sometimes, but it was too late to take back now.
Daniel's face instantly fell, and she could feel it, him mentally recoiling from her, "Do you really think so low of me?"
Amanda stared back at him, her brown eyes trying to decipher his own, "I try to" she finally said, "but you make it so fucking hard".
Daniel breathed out through his nose in relief, a small chuckle escaping his lips. Was that a compliment? He'd take it. "I make it hard?" Daniel retorted with a shake of his head, "You're the most complicated person, I've ever met".
"And you still keep trying," Amanda responded, shaking her own head back at him.
"You forget that I'm stubborn too, and I care about you Emily, you must know that by now. I'm not just going to give up on you". He wasn't sure of much these days, but he was sure of that.
Amanda bit down hard on her lips unsure how to respond to such earnest words. He meant it too, that's what scared her. She was used to people giving up on her; foster families, teachers, friends, even her social worker just looked at her like she was a lost cause, someone to become another poor statistic. But Daniel had always treated her like she was worth something; worth getting to know, worth helping; worth fighting against to fight for her.
"Come on Em's" Daniel murmured softly, as he took a step closer towards her, using the softness he saw flicker through her eyes as his opening. This was the closest he'd been to her in weeks, well apart from whatever heated proximity they'd been in when fighting. He was close enough to touch her, close enough to pull her into him and claim her burden on top of his own, if she'd let him. "It's cold out here, let's go inside. You can trust me".
Amanda nodded her head slowly, hesitating for only the slightest of moments, before opening the door further for Daniel and beckoning him inside. He hadn't said it yet, she was vividly aware that he still hadn't looked her in the eyes and told her that she was right and that his parents were guilty, and her father was innocent. She was waiting, but she was tired of fighting him for it. She missed him, and she was exhausted, and he was kind, and he cared about her, so maybe just for tonight that was enough.
Taking off his shoes first, Daniel followed her to the living room, taking a seat opposite from where she sat on the armchair. If they were regular friends maybe he would tell her what a lovely house it was, or inquire about what it was like living with Nolan? But they weren't normal friends. They had much bigger things to discuss.
Wetting her lips first, Amanda spoke first, "I never thanked you by the way, for taking the fall for the cocaine. I know I've been ignoring you, I just didn't know what to say or how, or what to think even. You surprised me".
"Well, you were right", Daniel painfully admitted, there was nothing to thank him for. "My mother tried to frame you and when I confronted her about it, she tried to play innocent but I could see the lie across her face. So I did what was right. They would have sent you to juvy or worse I don't know, I've seen your record they would not have been lenient. But this is my first offence….and I'm a Grayson," Daniel added with contempt. Even though he hadn't done anything, he had wanted to face the punishment as a statement to his parents that he was not above the law….that they couldn't always bribe their way out of trouble; his own rebellion of sorts. So he had denied the lawyer his parents had called for him and instead opted for a court-appointed lawyer. But he should have known that his parents wouldn't let him sacrifice his privileged rights. He had overheard his mother on the phone about his case, she'd done behind the scene works bribing god knows who to make his sentence all but a slap on the wrist. "Even if it would end up with me in juvy, I would have done this for you. It makes me sick to think about what my mother did. I…."
Amanda squeezed her eyes shut at his words, and then opened them again, "Why are you here, Daniel" she interjected firmly. She had thought this might be enough, sitting with him and not fighting….. but it wasn't. She didn't care about herself being framed for cocaine possession; she cared about her father being framed for a terrorist attack. She craved acknowledgement of it from him, but she was exhausted, and she didn't want to look in Daniel's eyes and have him reject the truths about her father that she knew in her heart. Not again, if he did that right now she really might just crumble down to the ground and weep.
"My father told me the truth. The whole truth about his involvement in the downing of flight 197 and his framing of your father. I'm so sorry Em's that I didn't believe you when you told me. I so desperately wanted to believe that my parents were not the monsters you made them out to be but you were right all along"
Amanda exhaled the silent breath she'd been holding as she stared into Daniel's regretful eyes. She had wanted to hear those words from him for so long, it was a relief, but it was not a celebration. She had gained something, but he had lost something substantial in his life; the trust and respect of his parents. She had been there before, she knew what it felt like to think that your parent was a monster. It was a polarizing and terrifying thought, and in his case it was two parents and actually true.
"My dad told me that many years ago his ambition had overtaken him and he had started laundering money for some exclusive underground group. It wasn't until the downing of Flight 197 that he came to find out that they were a terrorist group who had blown up the plane. He'd been horrified and terrified of losing his family and so in order to protect our family he had been forced to make a horrible choice. He chose to frame your father, admittedly out of spite for the affair with my mother, but also because his executive position in the firm made for a believable case. I don't get it though" Daniel said furiously, his fists clenched tightly at his sides. "I could have forgiven the money laundering if he had taken accountability for it. It was a horrible mistake...and I honestly believe him when he said that he hadn't known they were terrorists. But after the attack, after 247 people died on that plane because of his involvement with them, you'd think he'd have a crisis of conscience and own up to his mistakes like a man. You'd think he would realize that he had caused enough damage and would want to atone for his sins….but no instead he thinks the best way to handle the problem is to ruin another man's life and frame him for terrorism. I can't comprehend it, and I can't comprehend how he could tell me all this with the expectation that I would be okay with this and take it to my grave. Is it cause it's in my blood, the greed, the ruthlessness. My parents raised me to be a Grayson, to put my name above everything, including the truth, but I…..I resent that, I refuse to be like him. I want to be good".
"You are..." Amanda pressed, but he wasn't listening, Daniel just shook his head, standing up in agitation as he raked his hand so roughly through his hair, that she wanted to take hold of his hands in hers to stop him, "and my mother….how could she claim to love your father and do something so sick to him, that's not love. I'd rather die than love like that".
Standing up to face him, hating talking to anyone from a lower standpoint, Amanda spoke firmly, "You don't have to die".
Her simple words rattled in Daniel's ear, and he lifted his gaze to meet hers. Her big brown eyes were staring back at him solemnly, a glossiness to them as though tears were threatening, although he quickly realized the wetness he saw was merely a reflection of the tears threatening his own brown eyes.
"You're nothing like your parents, you know that, don't you Daniel?"
Daniel tried to swallow down the lump in his throat and opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Was he though? He only knew one life; the privileged life he'd been born into. He'd never had to beg for anything in his life, and selfishly, up until meeting Amanda, he hadn't thought much of it. He had taken it all for granted. He knew he was lucky and that the scale was tipped in his favour but he had never challenged it or tried to use his privilege to help other people.
"You're kind Daniel. That's just who you are. You helped me when no one else would. You…." Amanda faltered trying to control her voice, trying to steady it so she didn't sound as pained as those vividly painful memories made her feel. It still hurt talking about it and so she usually kept it buried deep inside herself, but he needed to hear this, more than she needed to keep it inside. "For months teachers turned a blind eye to my various bruises and neighbours a deaf ear to the commotion in that house….and other students just walked by me like I was a ghost, but it took you one week...one day really to notice and take action. You saw me struggling, and you didn't let it go, even though you didn't know me well, and even though I tried to push you away, you saved me. One day I promise I'll save you".
"You already have, Emily".
Daniel's words were simple but they held so much meaning. Elaboration was not necessary. She had saved him from the toxicity of his parents and for that, he'd be forever grateful. Staring into Amanda's eyes he knew instantly that she understood. Funny how now that they were on the same page, he could read her more easily. Before her eyes felt so jaded, like a maze he had to run through with no straight paths, but now he understood her so much better.
Amanda nodded her head firmly, a sad smile dancing across her lips. She'd saved him from his parents and under their twisted guidance, the development of his nastiest self. But what now? What happened to him and Charlotte when their parents were thrown in jail. There were always casualties in war but she didn't want either of them to be one. They were innocent in all this.
"We'll fight this Em's" Daniel's voice was in her ear now, and her breath hitched in surprise at how quickly he had stepped forward and leant into her. He wasn't touching her but she could feel him, his heat was radiating onto her or maybe it was his emotions; his pain, his exhaustion, his anger; for once the sad array of feelings matching her own. He felt it too, a burning need; her to gain justice for her father, and him to right the wrongs of his parent's sins.
They were on the same side now, so Amanda didn't fight it when Daniel wrapped his arms around her frame. It didn't even take her by surprise. This was the first time they had ever hugged, and yet a warm sense of familiarity washed over her. So tentatively she leant into him, her arms slowly wrapping around his torso as she rested her head against his shoulder. She wasn't used to hugs but if she closed her eyes and shut off her thoughts, it was just what she needed tonight... a comfort.
A/N Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think of this chapter!