Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It
Chapter 20: Weak
Daniel stepped inside Grayson Manor and instantly felt his stomach churn in discomfort. He had lived here his whole life. It was home, but now he knew what it had cost and it didn't feel so homely anymore. It just felt large and excessive instead of warm and impressive. But then again, it had never felt that warm, only when Charlotte's laughter had filled the air. He needed to talk to her, he needed to explain, but she was so young. How could he tell her that her life was built on the blood of her biological father?
Walking into the living room after being quietly greeted by the maid, Daniel hovered outside as he heard his father pacing the length of the room talking in a hushed but angry tone into his phone.
"What we did is done! It is long over, so don't come to me now….especially now and tell me that we should have done things differently. She's a little girl, with no credibility, she'll be handled. This won't fall back on you Kinglsey or your election. Focus on that."
Hanging up the phone and sliding it into his pocket, Conrad turned around to see his son entering the room. "Ah, Daniel, finally come to your senses?".
It was more of a guided statement than a question. There was only one right answer for Daniel to say; yes. When Conrad had revealed the truth to Daniel two days ago, he had been met with more resistance than he had been expecting. He knew that his son was more sensitive than him, but he had assumed that Daniel would understand the gravity of the situation and why he had to go through such lengths to protect the Grayson family and legacy. Although Victoria was worried when Daniel had left the house, Conrad had not been. In his mind, Daniel just needed time to process what he had been told and would come back when he was ready to accept it. It was a hard pill to swallow, but this lifestyle always came with secrets and sacrifices. It would do Daniel well to learn that, his naivety, though once endearing as a little boy was now just aggravating. He had always told his children that the naive deserve two things, swindling and scorn. Daniel simply needed to grow up.
Shaking his head ever so slightly, Daniel looked straight into his father's eyes. "Dad, I need to talk to you and Mum," he replied firmly, "Where is she?"
"She's out with one of her committees".
"When will she be back?"
"I don't know, Daniel" Conrad replied dismissively, "Now do you have something to talk to me about or not? You know that my time is money".
Daniel cleared his throat, hesitating for only the slightest of seconds before replying, "Yes I do".
This was already deviating from the plan. He was supposed to catch both his father and his mother on video camera admitting to their crimes. If one of them was not around, he was supposed to leave and try again at a time when they both were present but he was staring his father straight in the face now. He couldn't just leave, he refused to. It had taken all his resolve to walk back into this house, knowing he would essentially seal the fate of his parents. He didn't want to come back and try again later, the burden was already crushing down heavily on his chest…. He couldn't wait. There were words his father needed to hear, words that fluttered across his lips waiting to be released.
Conrad sighed, as he narrowed his grey eyes back at his son, "Well by all means talk".
Exhaling slowly, Daniel let it all out. "What you and mum did years ago was disgusting. You framed an innocent man. So I don't understand how you think that I can just live here in this big house, in luxury, knowing the price of what it took. I feel dirty...and sinful and if I just bury this and pretend like nothing happened, what does that make me as a person? The ramifications of those actions are still hurting people today. Amanda is still in pain over what you did to her father 8 years ago."
"Daniel, your hands are clean" Conrad scoffed, eyeing his son in condescension. Did he really have to pacify his son's soul? "The sin is mine and your mother's alone. You don't have to feel anything but relief that you and your future children will be set for life with the Grayson legacy and wealth that my hard work and David's sacrifice has built. What we did was wrong...yes, and if there was another way then trust me I would have done it, but there wasn't, and so I had to make a choice. I had to save myself and our family, and there is nothing wrong with prioritizing that over anything else. I've come to terms with it and so will you. This world we've created is made up of gods and insects. It is not fair but it is the reality. Don't concern yourself with the well-being of ants, son. If you can see life through that lens, your choices will become simpler and easier to make and live with".
Daniel shook his head, his fists clenching in frustration. He refused to live by that toxic and damaging ideology, "So you're saying that David Clarke was an ant?"
"And his daughter" Conrad added tauntingly, watching as Daniel's jaw tightened in anger. He cared for the girl, that much was certain, but she was no more than a sore they needed to eradicate. The little ripples she had been making through the Hampton's were cute attempts to bring them down, but nothing more than a puppy yapping at his ankles. But now that she was worming her ideals on to his son, now she became a problem. "Your mother was right, she's using you to try and break apart this family and you're so naive that you're falling straight into her trap. What did she promise you? Her love? Her body? God, Daniel, I didn't raise you to be a fool, she's playing you and that girl is not worth a fraction of your time or thoughts. Amanda's an ant, you can do so much better".
"Don't talk about her like that!" Daniel snapped, his voice raised in indignation as Conrad stared arrogantly back at him. He felt sick, was this really who he had been raised by? His father had always had an overblown ego, but he had never thought that it ran so deep that he didn't even consider the value of other people's lives if they were not of the same social strata. He had been naive to hold even the slightest bit of hope that Conrad would listen to him. "These are people, Dad. I'm not any more important than Amanda, just as you were not any more important than David Clarke. What even makes us so special, Grayson blood, wealth, status?"
"All of the above" Conrad surmised. "We could have been born to any lowlife but we were born in privilege it's our duty to use it".
"No!" Daniel soundly opposed, "I believe that legacies must be earned by the choices we make".
"And what do you know about choices?" Conrad asked with derision, his voice raising in volume as he looked upon his son with deep aggravation, "You've never had to make a difficult choice in your life".
"I'm making one right now" Daniel replied resolutely, "I'm asking you as your son to take responsibility for your actions, and turn yourself in for your crimes".
Conrad chuckled deeply, his laugh lacking any sense of mirth, "And why the hell would I do that? Daniel I've heard enough!"
"No, Dad, I'm just trying to do the right thing." Daniel retorted, forcing himself to hold his father's cold glare despite the shivers it was sending through him. He hoped it didn't show….his fear, because knowing his father, he would pounce on any sign of weakness.
Daniel was not as strong as he wanted Amanda to believe he was. Standing here took every single ounce of his resolve. He had never even opposed his father before, not like anything close to this. They had disagreed many times, but he had always caved and cowered to his father's request, or simply bit his tongue and held back what he really wanted to say. This was bigger than him now though and he could not back down. Clearing his throat, Daniel took a deep breath and let out what he needed his father to hear, " Amanda is determined to see the truth about what you did to her father come to light. She won't stop until her father is exonerated and if you refuse to take responsibility for it, as your son I think it is my responsibility to see to it that you do. You're to blame for flight 197. You laundered money for Americon Initiative and then arranged a cover-up by framing David Clarke."
"Yes" Conrad replied unapologetically, smugly even, his voice booming loudly through the living room, as he threw up his arms to emphasize his wealth, "and I would do it all over again. Look around Daniel, I won and I will keep winning, your little girlfriend is no threat, and you are no threat. You are a disappointment, an ungrateful boy who thinks he knows what it takes to be a man. You're keeping your mouth shut. That's an order!"
Daniel shook his head heavily, his glare deepening at his father, "You don't have any power over me anymore, Dad" he boldly challenged, "You lost that the moment you lost my respect".
"No, I have the power to take you out anytime I want" Conrad shouted tempestuously, his finger pointed threateningly towards Daniel. He had tried, God knows he had tried to make his son see his truth, but Daniel was choosing to be stubborn and stupid, and the very last of his restraint that he had reserved for his first-born son had exploded the moment Daniel had the audacity to challenge him. Not agreeing with his actions was one thing, but admitting to actively trying to take him down was unforgivable. "I was in league with a confederacy of global terrorists who tried to bring me down but I am still here. And Amanda's father, the selfish and dim-witted David Clarke, he was my patsy to freedom! I have the power Daniel" Conrad re-emphasized, venom spilling from his mouth, as he shook in fury, "and my secrets are going to rot inside of you beyond your last breath because you are going to keep your stupid and thankless mouth shut. I'm the last man standing for a reason. If you walk out of this house...and back to that girl, then you are no son of mine" Conrad threatened.
Daniel flinched at his father's violent words as if they could metamorphose into tiny daggers and pierce through his skin. He stood there tense, his dark brown eyes widening from an angry glare to one of horror, as he looked at his father in a way he never had before…..as a dangerous threat to himself. He needed to get out of here now. He had been recording their whole interaction. He had evidence that he could take to the DA. He just had to leave, but could he really walk out of the house without Charlotte? She was safe, his father would never ever lay a finger on her. If he was certain of anything he was certain of that, but what of when the FBI came? Would Charlotte be here alone watching the only parents she ever knew getting arrested? He couldn't do that to her. She needed him, now more than ever.
'I don't want to be a son of yours" Daniel spat back angrily, shaking in disgust, as he turned his back on his father only to come face to face with his father's head of security Frank. How long had he been standing there behind him? In his anger, he hadn't even noticed the man's strong and brooding presence. Glaring at Frank coldly, Daniel tried to step around him in the direction of the stairs but Frank firmly grabbed onto his right arm, tightening his grip as Daniel tried to twist his arm out of it. "Get off of me!" he yelled indignantly.
Frank simply ignored Daniel as though he was an unruly kid having a temper tantrum, and looked instead towards Conrad's furious face. "What's going on, Conrad?" he asked steadily.
"Daniel thinks he's man enough to cross me and has chosen to help the girl" Conrad sneered.
Looking down at Daniel, Frank shook his head in contempt, "What do you want me to do?"
Tensing at those words, Daniel clenched his fists, prepared to swing at Frank with his free arm if it came to it. But for now, he stood silently and still, truly wondering how deep his father's threats ran. Were they simply just words meant to scare him? Or words blown up in anger? Or did Conrad really have it in him to harm his own son? And what about his mother, surely she wouldn't stand for this. She wouldn't let him hurt him, but she hadn't stopped him from hurting David, so did she really even know how to protect…. or better yet, how to love?
Conrad sighed deeply, "By all means let the kid leave," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand, a dangerous glint flashing through his cold grey eyes as he added, "He has already been warned".
Frank nodded his head slowly, and Daniel breathed out silently in relief as he tried to free his arm from Frank's grip, expecting the man to reluctantly let him go at his father's permission but instead Frank tightened his grip further, his suspicious eyes looking down on Daniel. "Give me your phone".
Daniel shook his head, but resistance was futile as Frank already started to frisk him. First his jean pockets and then inside his jacket pocket where he pulled out his phone. As the home screen flashed to light, Frank didn't even need to unlock the phone to see the tiny flashing recording symbol that indicated this conversation had been recorded. Frank sighed in irritation as he smashed the phone deftly across the floor. "He was recording the conversation, Conrad" he tensely informed him.
Conrad glared piercingly at Daniel, his voice booming in anger, "Are you really so eager to condemn your whole family over one girl?"
Daniel opened his mouth to respond, looking resentfully back at his father, but words did not come to him, instead, a painful gasp escaped his lips as Frank's fist lunged swiftly and heavily into his stomach, knocking the wind out of him as he tried not to double over, his free hand holding what he was sure to be his bruised abdomen.
As Daniel slumped in front of him, Frank raised his fist ready to admit another blow for good measure. When would he get an opportunity like this again? To beat up such a privileged and selfish brat, let alone his own boss's. Usually, he didn't take things personally, but something about the self-righteousness of the boy in front of him irritated him. Daniel's parents gave him everything. All Frank's parents had given him were bruises, but still, this boy sought to ruin everything his parents had built because he felt bad? Frank could not wrap his head around such weakness. But before his second fist plunged into the boy, something stopped him, a tiny flash on the button of Daniel's jacket. He was head of security for a reason and as a former FBI agent he had been taught not to underestimate anybody, even kids. Grabbing Daniel by the collar now, forcing Daniel to stand up straight to face him, he hastily pulled the flashing button off of Daniel's jacket, watching as the boy's face widened in horror.
It was as he suspected….a tiny video camera device. "He had another one, Conrad," Frank tensely informed him.
"Let me see!"
Not wanting to let Daniel out of his grip, Frank threw it carefully towards Conrad watching as Conrad silently and carefully observed the tiny device before trying to crush it in his clenched fists. When that didn't work he smashed it on the floor by his foot, and for good measure stomped on top of it, only stopping when he heard the satisfying crunch of Daniel's and Amanda's broken plan.
"Daniel, you…." Conrad's voice thundered deeply as he walked furiously towards him.
Daniel took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut, before opening them again. Cursing madly under his breath. He had lost the only evidence they had to exonerate her father… priceless video evidence. He could never get that again, he could probably never even be in the same room as his father again, let alone talk. He'd blown it, not just for him but for all of them and that hurt more than the pain Frank had inflicted on his body. How could he have been so stupid and reckless? He should have tried to get out of Frank's grip. The man was built like a brick and double his size but he should have tried. He should try again now, but now was too late he'd already lost it. Daniel felt so defeated, and he hated himself for wishing for her right now….his mother. She was the enemy too wasn't she? But then why was he wishing that his mother would walk through the door right now and stop all this. Maybe she was just the lesser of two evils.
Opening his eyes again he looked scornfully upon his father. He had seen his father angry before, but never this angry, not even earlier before Frank had intervened. What was the difference now? Was it the realization that his son was more than just words and was an actual threat? Conrad's face was red now, and his veins were practically bulging on his forehead. What was he going to do to him?
"Daddy stop it!" Charlotte's innocent and frantic voice instantly cut across the living room, stealing the attention of all three there. "What's going on?".
She had come downstairs after hearing yelling. At first, she had tried to ignore it, to drown it out in her bedroom, but that had not worked. The pit of worry in her stomach only grew bigger. She hadn't been able to make out any words, but she could hear the anger in their voices, the venom, they clung around her like poison. She couldn't bear it. Mummy and Daddy fought, that she knew, often in passive aggressiveness and bitter remarks and retorts. But once in a while it did get loud, and their usually hushed conflict flared up into shouting and screaming, and Charlotte would cover her ears, and try her best to ignore it. Usually, Daniel would come into her room and try to distract her. That's who he was, a comforter, not a fighter. So why had Daniel and Daddy been shouting at each other and why did it now look so violent? The man that scared her was restraining her brother, his fist clenched around her brother's jacket collar and her dad was just allowing it. Why?
Conrad faltered at the sound of his daughter's voice and reluctantly stopped just a few feet away from Daniel. Trying to soften the hardened expression on his face, he glanced briefly towards his daughter, his eyes locking fiercely onto her own, "Charlotte go to your room!"
Charlotte flinched at the urgency and seriousness in the tone of his voice, and she fought the urge to recoil and obediently retreat, "But you're hurting him" she cried. "Let go of him!". She was staring back at her father, with tears brimming her brown eyes, begging him to let Daniel go despite the fact that Conrad was not actually touching Daniel, Frank was. But still, she instantly knew that her father was in control. He was the one with the power, the one to order that man to get off of her brother, and so she addressed only him.
Conrad frowned and shook his head, "Charlotte" he said through gritted teeth, "This is just between Daniel and I".
"Then why is he here?" Charlotte replied stubbornly, glaring at Frank, "He can't touch us, Dad, you told me that nobody could ever hurt us. Isn't that true?".
Conrad nodded his head slowly.
"Then let go of him, please" she pleaded, her voice shaking as she tried not to cry.
Conrad sighed deeply, but granted his daughters request, as he silently gestured for Frank to release Daniel from his grip and step away. "Now go back to your room, Charlotte" he spoke softly, finding his voice hoarse from all his shouting.
Charlotte shook her head and instead walked towards her brother, who stood up straighter now, his glare still cemented on their father. His fists were clenched tightly but she grabbed onto his right hand anyway waiting for him to unclench, so that she could slip her hand into his. Slowly he took the hint and glancing briefly down at his sister, he couldn't help the tiny smile that flitted across his lips, as her smaller, softer hand slipped into hers. He had to protect her at all costs.
"What's going on?" she questioned again, "we're supposed to be family...remember?"
"Your brother is trying to destroy ours," Conrad told her impatiently, "I am only trying to save it".
Charlotte looked up at Daniel in confusion, but he only stared fiercely back at their father in resentment, "No" he denied, "You ruined it a long time ago with your lies".
"Come on Char lets go," Daniel addressed only Charlotte now, his voice quiet but firm as he took a step towards the front door and tugged on her hand to follow. There was no convincing his father. That much was clear, but Charlotte on the other hand. She would understand, she would have to, wouldn't she? So why were her feet still planted steadily on the floor?
"Charlotte come on" he said more firmly now, frustrated by her resistance.
"You're not taking my daughter anywhere, Daniel!" Conrad asserted tensely.
Charlotte looked up towards her father and then back to Daniel, the tears she'd been desperately trying to hold back springing from her eyes and slowly trickling down her cheeks. She tried to wipe them away angrily with her free hand, but they just kept coming. She hated crying, she was 13 now, and not a little baby anymore. But yet they still treated her like one. Nobody in this house told her anything, and so she was left not understanding one thing. Daniel didn't even tell her why he left the house for two days and where he went. "What's going on?" She demanded trying to contain the quiver in her voice.
Daniel looked down towards Charlotte, looking her square in the eyes, "Char, I've never lied to you have I?"
She shook her head slowly. Daniel withheld from her, but he didn't lie.
"Well do you remember what Emi...I mean Amanda was saying about our parents. It's true, all of it is true. They framed Amanda's Dad for something they did"
"Flight 197," Char whispered quietly as though the words themselves were a dangerous curse.
Daniel nodded his head in confirmation and opened his mouth to say more but in his delay Conrad's domineering voice cut in.
"That's ridiculous Charlotte, your brother is lying. He has feelings for that girl and so he wants to believe her lies. But you're smarter than that Charlotte, do you really think your mum and I could do something so terrible?"
Charlotte shook her head. The thought instantly making her feel sick. Now she knew why nobody told her anything, just the very thoughts alone were hard to swallow, let alone the truth.
"Charlotte, I didn't want to believe it either but it's true. Dad told me the truth and he wanted me to keep it a secret, but it's too cruel to hide."
Charlotte pulled her hand out of Daniel's grasp, shaking her head so hard, her tears blurred her vision of him, "No Daniel. Mum and Dad wouldn't do that. You're wrong". There was anger in her voice now, and it hurt that it was directed at him, "You're just confused, it's all a big mistake. Just come home….. You can't go, Daniel please!"
Daniel took a step towards Charlotte hoping he could pacify her but she stepped away from him as if he was the enemy. It stung, but he felt Conrad's smugness from across the room even harder. "You can't lie to her forever" Daniel yelled at him angrily with clenched fists.
Conrad only shrugged his shoulder dismissively, a sickening smirk flashing across his prideful face. He was roping in Charlotte, and they both knew it. It was much easier to believe that her parents were innocent and that her brother was just confused than it was to believe that her parents were these guilty people who did something so atrocious. "You're confused Daniel, Charlotte just wants to be a family or don't you care about her?"
"Of course I do!" Daniel instantly responded, sending his father a nasty glare before directing his attention back to his sister. He had to get through to her. "Come on Charlotte, I didn't want to believe it either, but I'm telling you it's true", Daniel urged. " Why do you think Dad was so angry that he had Frank try and hurt me? It's because it's true and he's scared that with my help, Amanda will find a way to reveal his crimes. We'll always be a family, but when people make mistakes they need to own up to them. Mum and dad need to take responsibility for what they did and stop lying. You have to trust me, Charlotte, we're better than them. Please!"
"Charlie, don't listen to him baby, it's a big misunderstanding and your brother is too stubborn to see it. Once he cools off he'll come to his senses and everything will be alright. I promise you."
Charlotte faltered, looking anywhere but either of their faces, she couldn't bear to look at them. She was being tugged emotionally by both sides, and it hurt like a tear in her heart. She'd be better off if they both just grabbed one of her arms and played tug of war with her until she fell to one side, at least then she wouldn't have to decide...choose between her father and her brother.
Surely the truth couldn't be so cruel. When she had first watched Amanda's announcement, she'd been stunned, and then angry, and then confused. The resentment in Amanda's eyes as she spoke of her parents was something she had never seen before in her. So why now she had thought, and when she had asked Daniel that day he had assured her that it couldn't be true. But now he believed it? Why? She didn't want to leave, they needed to talk about it with Mum, they needed to clear it up so that Daniel would come home.
"It's time for you to go now Daniel!", Conrad broke the silence, flexing his authority. Daniel had tried but Charlotte's resistance to leave was all the pull Conrad needed to convince her to stay. She was still young, more gullible and malleable than Daniel. With Charlotte, alone he could tell her whatever version she needed to hear to understand that her brother was now against them.
Daniel glared furiously at Conrad, he was no mind-reader, but he knew his father well enough to know that he would have no qualms lying to Charlotte's face and making her believe whatever lies he told her to appear innocent. He couldn't let that happen. Stepping closer to Charlotte, he firmly grabbed onto Charlotte's wrist and tugged her towards him, "I'm not leaving her with you. Come on let's go, Charlotte" he said fiercely.
Charlotte winced at Daniel's grip and instantly tried to tug her arm out from him. It wasn't a rough grip, but still, she hated in that moment how he grabbed her. How he thought he could just bend her will to his. She could make her own choices. "Daniel stop it, let go of me!"
Conrad chuckled at Daniel's pathetic attempt to take Charlotte. What was he really planning to do? Try and drag her out of her home. He was desperate, which was not a stable look. "She's not leaving Daniel, she's a daddy's girl, always has been".
"She's not even yours!", Daniel shouted back indignantly, the words leaving his mouth before he could control them and reel them back in. He had tried so hard to keep it in for Charlotte, but his patience had long since reached its limit and so the anger bubbling inside of him had overridden what little control he had left and exploded. This was not the way he had wanted her to find out. She was supposed to be calm and comfortable, in a safe space, sitting in between him and her sister.
But it was too late now, so Daniel just let the truth flounder in the air, watching as the colour drained from his father's face as if he saw a ghost. Maybe he had, maybe he saw the spirit of David Clarke in the girl before him who he had raised as his loving daughter. It was a bitter truth, a truth Daniel had assumed his father had known long ago but come to terms with, but by the look of shock on his father's face, his mother's deception ran even deeper than his fathers. He almost felt bad for him….almost.
"What did you say?" Conrad raged, his voice shaking.
"She's not your daughter!" Daniel clarified, feeling Charlotte's arm go limp in his hold. Before she was steadfast resisting his attempts to pull her away, but now he could easily drag her out if need be. Looking down at her, he cursed himself for making her look so sad and so defeated. The last thing he had ever wanted to do was hurt her but maybe this had been the only way. He was naive to think that she would just say okay and leave behind the home and parents she knew. How long had it taken him to finally accept the truth Emily had been trying to tell him?
"You're wrong. I raised that girl through and through".
"You raised his"
Daniel didn't have to clarify who his was, everyone in the room knew who except for Charlotte.
"Daddy?" Charlotte's soft voice cut through their shouting, as she stared at Conrad while he stared back at her but it was more through her, scrutinizing her, trying to decipher if it was possible that she was not his by blood.
And then his eyes narrowed, hardened, "You're lying"
"I wouldn't do that to Charlotte if I wasn't positive. We took a sample of hers and Amanda Clarke's DNA to the lab, found out the truth. Ask mum".
"Get out Daniel!" Conrad no longer had the energy to shout but his voice still thundered dangerously across the room like a fully loaded threat. As tall and proud as he stood, he felt strangely defeated and it was a feeling that he was not accustomed too. For all these years, he had looked upon Charlotte as his own. For 13 years he had loved her as any father should and treated her like the princess he thought she was, all the while raising his daughter. What a sick joke. Had David been laughing down at him from above? Had Victoria from their own house? Well, Conrad would get the last laugh when he ruined David's first-born daughter, just as David had now ruined his.
Pulling Charlotte with him Daniel headed for the door and Charlotte weakly allowed it. She kept waiting for her father, for Conrad to protest as he had earlier, to fight for her. She stared into his bold grey eyes and he stared back with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. As she reached the door she tried one last time, "Daddy?"
But she could already perceive it, the barrier he'd put up between them, it made her shiver and want to fall to her knees and cry. She felt it acutely the severing of a bond they had built for 13 years, and the rejection from a man she had loved as a father. "If you love your brother so much, Charlotte, leave with him," he said coldly.
Daniel put his arm around Charlotte, as they reached the door and a part of her hated him for what he'd done she needed his strength and comfort more than anything right now.
Charlotte's head was pounding; racing with too many thoughts and questions and memories that she tried to reconstruct as she walked sullenly towards the front door of a house she had never before been to. Daniel hadn't explained much in the car, but she hadn't really asked. Only one question had been on the forefront of her mind. Is David Clarke really my father?
Yes, Daniel had confirmed, but he's innocent, he had added as if that was some consolation to her. It had only made her burst into tears, and once she started she couldn't stop. Daniel had to pull over to the side of the road so that he could pull her into his arms and hold her, hoping her shaking and tears would eventually calm down. He kept apologizing and telling her that everything would be alright. But nothing felt alright. Her parents were terrorists, they couldn't go home, her father was not her real father, and her real father was a man she would never get to know and love. Her life had changed instantly, how could things ever be okay?
As Daniel held the door open for her, reluctantly Charlotte stepped through walking slowly through the front foyer before freezing at the sight of Amanda Clarke. Charlotte's big brown eyes found her sister's instantly, but she didn't hold her gaze for long as a fresh set of tears welled up in her eyes and spilt viciously down her already tear-stained cheeks. Clenching her fists in frustration, Charlotte instantly rushed past Amanda and ran up the stairs and into the first room she spotted. Slamming the door shut behind her Charlotte sunk down onto the floor, with her back against the door and her head against her hugged knees, wishing she could go back in time to before Amanda Clarke even came back to the Hamptons.
She knew.
That thought jolted through Amanda instantly the moment Charlotte's electric brown eyes had struck through her own. As tears began to run down Charlotte's face, Amanda ached instinctively to reach out and comfort the younger girl….her younger sister but she froze up like a statue, her reaction too slow as Charlotte rushed right past her. Comforting somebody else was an instinct she was not used to, did she even know how? What could she say to Charlotte to make her stop crying? Charlotte's life had been flipped upside down, just as Amanda's had been the night the FBI agent's had stormed through her house. Charlotte's change was for the best, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. There was so much pain.
Squeezing her eyes shut momentarily as if trying to shake the thought of her sister in distress, Amanda turned her focus away from the stairs and towards Daniel who was a much easier person to confront. Taking a deep breath, she found a sharpness to her voice that was unwarranted as she looked upon Daniel, "What happened?!"
Daniel shook his head and frowned deeply, his right hand raking roughly through his hair, "I'm sorry Em's. I blew it".
Amanda clenched her fists and bit down hard on her tongue fighting the urge to verbally lash out at him in her frustration. Those were words she didn't want to hear. Words she couldn't hear. They had a plan. They had a well thought out plan with a secret insurance device of Nolan's own crafty invention. It was supposed to go right. They were supposed to take the video evidence of Victoria and Conrad Grayson confessing to their crimes to the DA, and this was supposed to end. Her father was supposed to be free because even in death she knew that he was not free. How could he be? When people spoke his name as if he was the devil. "What did you do?"
"What did I do?" Daniel repeated in disbelief, wounded by her accusation. His voice was hoarse from fighting with his father but his voice rose in anger, "I thought you trusted me more than that. I fucking put everything on the line, I stood up to my father, I crushed what innocence Charlotte has left. So don't blame me, I tried…..I wanted this too, Emily."
I know, Emily thought but couldn't say, I know. It should have never been put on Daniel anyway. This was her fight. She should be the one to take them down. She knew that this could happen. Plan's go astray and fail all the time, no matter how prepared you think you are. When they had first talked about the plan, it had been hard for her to shake the pessimistic feeling that it all sounded too easy, but Daniel, Jack, and Nolan had all been optimistic and so naively from the moment that Daniel had left the house this afternoon, she'd let hope gnaw anxiously on her insides. Relief from the success of their plan was supposed to fill that empty space, but now there was only one thing to fill it with….anger.
"Ladies and gents, let's sit down and talk about this".
Nolan could feel the tension in the air, but his voice did nothing to dissipate it. Amanda was upset, and that was understandable, he was too. But Daniel was the one who had walked in distraught with their younger sister in tears, so clearly whatever went down in the Manor had not been easy. She needed to be more understanding. She couldn't lash out at him for a plan gone wrong, it wasn't his fault, and Nolan knew that Amanda knew that. She was just angry and putting it on Daniel was easier than bottling it up, but that wasn't fair to him. She was childish in that manner. She had a pattern of lashing out at the people that cared for her when she was angry; maybe purposely trying to push them away. Either way, it was a flaw she needed to work on. "Most plan's don't work on the first try, Amanda. It's frustrating, but we refocus and try something new. We're smarter than them….well, I most certainly am" he couldn't help but quip, refraining from dropping his IQ on them. They'd be jealous...another time he'd have to brag.
Ignoring Nolan's words, and Jack who walked silently to her side, Amanda folded her arms across her chest and frowned at Daniel, "So what happened to the video?" Amanda questioned rigidly, dismissing the frustration and pain she could see in his eyes. She had to work hard to compartmentalize it. Right now she couldn't manage feelings and emotions, she just needed to know the details of what happened to their evidence.
Daniel shook his head in disbelief, "What's wrong with you Emily?" he shouted furiously. "She's crying, and you're not even asking about Charlotte, you're asking if I have the evidence. That's fucked up. You're her sister now! She's your first priority now, you need to understand that. This isn't just about you and revenge anymore and I swear to God if you hurt Charlotte or try to use her…."
"That's ridiculous!" Jack interrupted, narrowing his eyes at Daniel in frustration. Daniel had a right to be upset but to insinuate that Amanda didn't care about Charlotte was going too far.
Amanda felt her body go rigid at Daniel's words, and in that moment she was thankful for Jack's voice because she could not find her own. Daniel was right and it stung like a bitch. There was nothing to say back to him to justify her selfishness, and so she didn't say a thing, instead, she shamefully averted her eyes from Daniel's and swallowed down the heavy lump in the back of her throat
Jack followed Daniel's gaze to Amanda, "Give her a moment, she's upset that things went wrong" Jack tensely defended. He couldn't stand anybody shouting at Amanda.
Daniel shook his head, "We're all upset. Stay out of this Porter," Daniel warned, he was not in the mood. He cared for Amanda but why should she get a pass? If she wanted to ignore his feelings fine. But she wasn't going to do that to Charlotte. She needed to step up.
"No, you need to calm down," Jack replied staunchly, his eyes narrowing at Daniel.
Daniel glared angrily back at him, clenching his fists. Why was Jack always in the way? He was talking to Amanda, not Jack.
"You know what, I'm going for a walk," Daniel replied coolly as he turned his back to them all and headed towards the front door. He needed to clear his head.
It was only when his hand was on the doorknob, that Amanda finally spoke, pushing her words out like one huge exhalation. "Wait, you're right, Daniel," Amanda painfully admitted. She had done everything wrong from the moment they had walked through the door. She should have gone to Charlotte first, and she should have asked Daniel if he and Charlotte were alright before asking what happened to the evidence. He had a right to be angry. She had made it seem like neither of them were important to her and that was not true. She cared, it was just hard to show sometimes...most times.
Daniel turned his gaze back towards her. He wasn't glaring anymore but she could still sense his frustration with her. So she spoke again, " I'll do better…...for Charlotte".
I know Daniel thought, he believed in her although he was inwardly relieved to hear her say it out loud. Too stubborn to show that right now though, Daniel opened the front door and instead mumbled, "She needs you, you know", before stepping out to cool his head.
Charlotte didn't know how long she had been sitting by the door when she heard Emily's…. No Amanda's voice softly calling her name. She didn't answer back, she just buried her head further between her knees, and thought go away so fiercely that if she had powers, Amanda for sure would be gone by now. She didn't feel like speaking to anyone, least of all Amanda.
"Charlotte, please let me explain" Amanda gently pressed but she ignored her further, hoping that if she stayed silent, Amanda would simply leave, but instead Charlotte heard the twist of the door handle and felt the door press further against her back as it cracked slightly open.
Charlotte instantly budged the door back closed and braced herself for Amanda trying to open the door and force her way inside this time, but Amanda understand boundaries more than anyone else, so instead, Amanda simply said, "You don't have to let me in but can we at least talk?"
Charlotte shook her head and bit her lip in frustration, "Now you want to talk?" she couldn't help herself from replying. Feeling the anger bubble up inside of her. "I texted you so many times after you left the house and even more after you posted that announcement about my parents. You didn't even reply to one of them. You didn't care then, and you don't care now".
Actions spoke louder than words and both Amanda's actions and words had been real quiet until now, so how could she trust her? Why should she? Just because they shared the same blood? How could they be sisters?
"I do care Charlotte. I did then and I do now" Amanda responded honestly, but Charlotte tried to cast out the genuineness she heard in Amanda's words. "I…"
"No, you lied to me," Charlotte interrupted, "this whole time we were sisters and you came into my house and smiled at me and made me think that we were friends but you were hiding everything from me. You're a liar."
'No" Amanda denied, "I didn't know the truth about our father's innocence and your parents framing him until after I left Grayson manor, that's why I left Charlotte, and I didn't know that we were sisters until yesterday. I wouldn't manipulate you like that. And I didn't respond to your texts, because I didn't know what to say to you. I never told you this before but you kind of remind me of my much younger self…. full of light and love. I wanted you to hold onto that for as long as you could. I didn't want you to feel the burden and pain that I do. I thought that maybe it would be better for you if I left you out of this for as long as I could."
Charlotte felt more tears well up in her eyes threatening to fall as she tried to dissect Amanda's words. Amanda hadn't known. That made her feel slightly better. At least they had both been bombarded by the truth, it wasn't just Charlotte who was blindsided. But still, it was the insinuation that she couldn't handle the truth that frustrated her….Amanda hadn't explicitly said it but all she heard was that she was too weak. And that wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to assume that she was too weak for the truth.
"You think I'm too weak"
"No I told you Charlotte, I thought it was best for you to leave you out of this".
"But how could you leave me out of it?" Charlotte asked in disbelief. She hated yelling, but her voice rose and shook rapidly in outrage, "I am right in the middle of this!". How could she not see that? How could Daniel not see that when he had left the house the first time without her? How could her parents not see that their lies affected her the most? "If my mum is Victoria Grayson, and my Dad is David Clarke and my…..and Conrad framed him, then I'm even more in the middle of this than you are Amanda."
She was half-devil, half-martyr; half good, half-bad; half-Daniel, half-Amanda. But what did that make her? She had never felt so lost before. Who was Charlotte Grayson? Or was it Charlotte Clarke now? Or Charlotte Grayson Clarke? Or Charlotte Clarke Grayson?
God what a mess.
Taking a deep breath to try and settle her racing heart, Charlotte couldn't pull in enough oxygen. Her heart was pounding too fiercely against her chest, and so she tried again, drawing more oxygen deep into her lungs. But no matter how much air she tried to breathe in, it just didn't feel adequate. Her heart was beating too rapidly for her lungs, and so she did the worst thing she could do. She let her fear take over and began to panic.
Charlotte was right in the middle of this, Amanda thought with dismay. They had been naive on both sides to ever believe that Charlotte could remain in a safe little bubble. To both her surprise and frustration, Amanda had genuinely cared for Charlotte during her stay at the manor, but then she had pushed the girl out of her thoughts the day she had left. It wasn't fair. She hadn't known that they were related back then, but they had been connected. In not wanting to hurt Charlotte with the twisted truth, she had hurt her instead with her cold shoulder. Charlotte had every right to be angry with her.
"Charlotte, I'm sorry"
"Charlotte?" Amanda pressed, upon only hearing silence. She'd rather Charlotte yell at her, then say nothing. Yelling she could at least respond to.
Pressing her ear against the door it was only then that she detected the shallow but jagged sounds of Charlotte trying to focus her breathing. She was hyperventilating.
Shit, Amanda cursed, as she twisted the doorknob and gently pushed the door open just enough to slip her body through before closing it again. Charlotte didn't resist the door this time, she didn't even acknowledge Amanda's presence. She was sitting on the floor hugging her knees rocking back and forth ever so slightly, with her head between her knees trying to breathe.
It was a painful sight, and she wished that they were not alike in this way because Amanda knew that feeling, she knew what having a panic attack felt like. It felt endless, and painful and scary, like your whole heart would explode or your lungs would collapse and nobody would know or care. She knew what it felt like but she didn't know what to do and so she didn't know how to help her. She always heard you had to concentrate on your breathing when you were having a panic attack, but breathing was what got her hyperventilating in the first place, so focusing on trying not to fail at something so simple as breathing only made her panic further.
"You're okay Charlotte" Amanda gently assured Charlotte, as she sat down on the floor beside her, "I get panic attacks too, they're a bitch but they will go away. I promise you."
Charlotte didn't respond but Amanda didn't expect her too, she simply kept talking, even daring to place her hand gently on Charlotte's back, rubbing small and soothing circles in the hope that it would comfort her. Amanda had been in the foster care system for so long that physical touch often confused her. Back there physical touch could be kind and soothing, but it could also be used violently or sexually, and these touches could change so tumultuously. So to protect herself she had tried to avoid any kind of physical contact with anyone. But through becoming friends with Jack and Daniel and relinquishing some of her barriers she was starting to learn again that physical touch could be used as a way to express that you care for someone or as a way to comfort someone.
"Focus on my voice, okay? Maybe that will help you, and if not then I'm sorry. I'm still learning how to help you. You have to bear with me okay, I've never been a sister before but I've always wanted to. I begged our father for a little brother or a little sister for years, I think maybe that's why he got me Sammy, he was my dog, well my puppy, long before he was Jack's and Declan's dog, did you know that Charlotte? We would have had so much fun back then, but we have all these future years to grow together, so I'm not worried, you shouldn't be either. I don't know how, but everything will work out. I keep telling myself that because I have to. I refuse to believe anything else. I'm stubborn like that, just like our father, and just like you Charlotte. You're stronger than you even know. It's the Clarke in you."
Charlotte could feel Amanda sitting physically beside her. One moment she had been alone drowning in her own panic, and the next it was as if Amanda had magically appeared beside her. She was grateful for her. Amanda didn't panic, or ask her if she was okay, or try to get her to sit up and raise her head. Amanda simply sat down beside her and began to talk. She told her that she would be alright, and when Amanda said it so calmly and simply, she started to think that maybe she might be, maybe in a few minutes her chest wouldn't burn as she tried to breathe and she would stop shaking.
Amanda's voice gave Charlotte something to focus on. Her sister's voice sounded far away and muffled as if Amanda wasn't really beside her. It felt as though she was underwater and Amanda was talking to her safely from the shore, her voice having to swim through the water to reach Charlotte's ears.
This made Charlotte need to focus more in order to hear Amanda clearly and so she concentrated on that, grateful for Amanda's voice and for the gentle sensation of her hand rubbing across her back which kept her strangely grounded.
When she started to feel calmer, Charlotte slowly lifted her head from her knees, her hands tentatively reaching her eyes prepared to catch more tears, but although her cheeks were damp and probably tear-stained she was relieved to discover that she was all out of tears. I'm alright she tried to convince herself as her breathing slowly became more regular.
"Charlotte"
Amanda's voice didn't sound so far away now, she could hear her clearly, and as Charlotte turned to look at her, she didn't want to be angry at her anymore, or sad, or frustrated. She didn't want to be anything but sister's, but she didn't know what to say, and so she didn't say anything, instead she leaned in towards Amanda, and rested her tired head against her chest.
Amanda froze in surprise but only momentarily before dutifully wrapping her arms around Charlotte in a proper embrace, her fingers playing softly with the dark curls resting across Charlotte's back.
"Am I really anything like our father?" Charlotte tentatively asked, her voice muffled against Amanda's sweater. "Or were you just saying that to calm me down"
"No I mean it" Amanda replied softly, "You're strong like him and smart and kind….and definitely stubborn".
"Will you tell me about him?...all the happy stuff"
Amanda swallowed down the heavy lump in her throat, blinking back silent tears that were threatening. She thought about her father all the time. All the happy memories she had tried to bury, all the facts about him that only she could know, and all his quirks and silly flaws. She thought about them all the time because she needed to remember every ounce of him that she had left. But she didn't talk about him, not with Jack and Nolan who knew him, nor with Daniel who would quietly listen. It had been a long time since she had talked about him out loud and in-depth because somehow forming her thoughts into words and pushing them out with her voice just made her want to cry. But Charlotte needed to know about her real father, she deserved to know who David Clarke really was.
"Well our father…." Amanda began.
"Really mum" Daniel snapped as he held the cell phone to his ear. He was sitting alone on the stretch of sand overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. It was a view different to the one he was used to from their private beach behind the Manor. But somehow this view was better. "threatening to get Frank to find where we are if I don't pick up the phone. That's low. You know damn well Charlotte is not in danger if she is with me. So don't pretend to be concerned".
"I detest that statement Daniel, I am beyond concerned." Victoria defended, "You are my son and no matter what I love you... but this has gone too far. When you first left the house I didn't object because I knew you needed time to process our past mistakes. But had I known you would be so reckless?... What were you hoping to accomplish today by confronting your father?"
"You mean he didn't tell you?" Daniel questioned bitterly, "I was trying to secretly record him confessing to framing David Clarke...the both of you. You were just conveniently not there. I was going to give it to Amanda to take to the DA".
Victoria paused over the phone, "Daniel, stop this! Don't you see what she is doing? Amanda came into your life and now look it. She's put this family through hell".
"No, don't do that! Don't play the victim and act like she's the catalyst. This was set in motion the moment you started your affair with her father. Amanda has only forced us to face the truth, and whatever happens, I am grateful because it means I can't hide from it anymore. This is on you and Dad, you destroyed this family with your sins and your lies and I want no part of it".
"You think you really know what happened?" Victoria gravely challenged her firstborn son. The memories of her past love tainted by all the justifications she had tried to convince herself of. "Well, here it is. Your father's business practices forced me to make a despicable choice. It was either my lover's life or my son's and daughter's, and so I sacrificed David and chose you two. Daniel, I will always choose you."
"No!" Daniel instantly denied, shaking his head in frustration. He refused to fall for her act no matter how aggrieved she tried to appear over the phone. "I can't trust you anymore. How can I trust you, Mum? There's always some explanation to shift the blame and make yourself appear less guilty then you are. David was the victim in this. Amanda was the victim. Charlotte...You took her father away and now she'll never get to know him. How can you justify that? How can you say you loved him. You lied and manipulated and betrayed David, and if that's what love means to you, then I don't want it and neither does Charlotte. We're not a family anymore! Dad threatened to take me out today and what's scary is I don't know whether he is bluffing or serious and you...well, you're just the biggest cautionary tale of love."
"Daniel," Victoria spoke fiercely, "Let me handle your father. He won't lay a hand on you, I promise. But you need to listen to me in order for me to protect you".
Daniel scoffed, "And what are going to do ... come clean and end this?"
His question lingered over the phone line, and he hated himself for holding his breath, that even a tiny part of himself believed in the good of his parents.
"I didn't think so" he mumbled over her silence.
Victoria sighed deeply, "Daniel, I am not your enemy, you need to trust me right now" she urged him. "Your father is outraged by your betrayal... please lay off the attacks while I dissuade him from doing something reckless."
Daniel shook his head, "We won't be intimidated Mum, one way or another the truth is coming out."
"Daniel, don't speak as if you are a team, Amanda has her own separate agenda, I can only hope that you do not get caught in it. And have you even thought about Charlotte?" Victoria questioned sharply, "Why would you pull her into all of this? Risk putting her in harm's way just to spite your father. What were you thinking?"
"She deserved to know the truth!" Daniel retorted in objection, despite knowing that deep down his motive at that moment had been a purely selfish one; to hurt his father in the worst way he could think off.
"That was not for you and Amanda to decide. Charlotte needs to be home with her mother. I need to clear things up with her."
"She doesn't want to see you and she definitely does not want to be home".
"She's a 13-year old girl. It's not about what she wants but what she needs. I know you must be staying at Nolan's house, but Daniel, how well do you truly know him to let your little sister sleep in a man's house who she does not even know?"
Daniel shook his head, bristling at the thought of what his mother was insinuating, "Mum, stop! I would never put her in harm's way".
"Not intentionally" Victoria replied slowly, trying to push out the insidious memories of men intentionally taking from her. She vowed to always protect her children from that. "When Charlotte goes to school on Monday, I'll be picking her up afterwards and if she's not there, I'll have to enlist Frank to help me find her. We already have the house address. The only reason I'm not there now is to give her time to calm down before speaking with her, but she's too young to be playing house."
"You'd rather let her suffer in a toxic household" Daniel ridiculed, "I don't want Dad near her, who knows what he'll say to her".
"Conrad is staying indefinitely at the Southfork Inn, he is not welcome in the house. Don't worry about your father Daniel, I am going to handle this."
"You're just as bad as him," Daniel replied in exasperation. "At least dad had the decency to tell me the truth. You lied to me".
"Your father, only told you the truth because he fails to see you for who you are, all he chooses to see is the man he wants you to be. He told you because in his arrogance he thought you were the same as him. Had he even considered that you would not take his side, he would have lied to you. I know you better than that Daniel...I'm your mother. I did not tell you because I knew that you could not stomach our sins; it would break your heart and I did not wish for you to carry that. I was trying to protect you and yes selfishly I was ashamed of how you would see me but can you blame me for wanting to hold onto you for as long as I could? The older you grow the more you pull away from me. I made a mistake, but I am not the enemy that you think I am, and if I could go back and change things I would. Had I been honest with you then, maybe now you would trust me and wouldn't blindly be following a girl who does not have your best interests at heart. Just be careful Daniel"
"Mum," Daniel sighed deeply over the phone. He was exhausted and he didn't have the energy to respond to her. He wanted to trust her and he wanted to forgive her, but actions spoke louder than words and he feared falling for the manipulation of her words, as so many others had. She loved him...where his father's love was questionable her love was clear. But her love was not clean, it was soaked in toxicity and he was not sure of an antidote to clear it. "Goodnight" he responded tiredly before hanging up the phone before she tried to sink her claws into him further. He couldn't waver. He had to see this through.
A/N Thanks for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts about this chapter and predictions for the next.