Derek: Hi. You've reached Dr. Shepherd. Please leave a message, and I will return your call.

Meredith: Hey. So, I just got off the phone with the White House, and apparently you missed your meeting. I don't know what's going on, but you probably owe them - a phone call, I think. [Door slams.]

Meredith followed the stream of interns racing into the pit, unable to shake the knot in the pit of her stomach. She'd gone from "blessed" to this knot in an incredibly short span of time.

[Sighs.]

You good? You okay? I'm fine.

'Cause, you know, there was a plane crash, and I just thought maybe For about a year after the crash, Arizona had nightmares, and if I'd come home even 10 minutes late, she'd freak out, so I just wanted to see if you're doing okay.

Derek missed his meeting in D.C.

, and I haven't heard from him.

- That's not weird.

- Okay.

It's not like I should have heard from him.

I we don't call each other every second.

We're not those people.

I'm a surgeon.

I'm busy.

He's in D. C.

He's busy.

So it's fine that I haven't heard from him.

It's not a thing.

It's the plane crash, Meredith.

The plane crash is making you worry.

I know.

I know.

[Sighs.]

[Sighs.]

You'll call me if she... Just call me.

M: For a while, I would FaceTime Cristina.

I would prop her up right there where your head is now.

Half the time, she was in surgery, so I would just watch her operate until I drifted off.

I brought the kids in the bed for a while so we could all sleep together.

I printed a tumor, and I slept with that there for a bit.

[Laughs.]

It's just weird. I That pillow's been empty for such a long time.

Not now. Not anymore. I know.

I just wished you didn't have to go back to D.C. at all.

I wish you could just stay right here, right now.

It's my last trip, and then I'm back for good.

I promise.

I know.

I've missed you.

I missed us.

I have, too.

Bailey: [Echoing.] Okay, let's pack all four quadrants. Can you feel the mesentery? Grey. Did you find the mesentery?

M: Oh, I was just Sorry.

B: Dr. Grey, do you need to be replaced?

Meredith: No. I'm fine.

Bailey: No, you're not fine. You're distracted. You and Derek went down in a plane. You drowned. He got shot. You gave birth in a power outage.

Meredith: Is this supposed to make me feel better?

Bailey: I'm just saying, you have every reason to be distracted, every reason to think the sky is falling.

Do you need to go?

M: No!

B:Okay, well, how long can you go without hearing from him before you absolutely go crazy?

M:I don't know. I I 6:00, 6:30, maybe.

B:Okay, then, let's say 5:00. At 5:00 P.M. , if you haven't heard from him, you can panic. You can call the police, call the paramedics.

You can freak out until your little heart's content. But not one minute before and not in this O. R. Can you do that?

"Yes." Meredith agreed, but then that nagging feeling returned, her gut clenching, her eyes growing wide. "No"

Dr. Bailey looked up at Meredith, mildly surprised. Meredith stammered out, "Bailey, I can't. I'm sorry, I can't until I know what happened. I'll call the airline and see if he ever checked in and then I can go from there, but he saved me from drowning because he was right there, and Christina was able to save him after the shooting because we were right there when it happened, and if something happened to him and I stayed here, I will always wonder if I had gone, if things would be different." Meredith backed away from the table. "I'm sorry, Bailey."

"No, it's fine, and not in your twisted sense of the word. Go find him, and you will feel better." Meredith quickly pulled off her gown and gloves and hurried to scrub out. "Good luck, Meredith."

Her first call was to SeaTac to check and see if Derek had ever checked in for his flight. The knot in her stomach grew as she waited, only growing larger as she learned that he had never checked in. He hadn't just missed his flight and taken a later one. Derek had never arrived.

Having grown accustomed to expecting the absolute worst to happen, Meredith began calling the police to check on an accident. His car was distinctive enough, and she soon was rewarded with the knowledge that his car had been in an accident on an out of the way road that for the life of her she couldn't figure out why he would be on. She quickly scribbled down info as they informed her that there had been several accidents on that road today. Some had been taken to Grey-Sloan and the others to Dillard. Derek was far too well known at Grey-Sloan for someone to have missed knowing who he was. She would have already heard if Derek had been brought in to the pit at Grey-Sloan. She ran to the attending's lounge to grab her car keys. She could call Maggie or Alex or Amelia or someone on the way. Someone could take care of Zola and Bailey, but all she knew what that Derek wasn't answering his phone, and he had been in a car accident. The universe freaking hated her!

Her heart was racing, and the elevator wasn't coming quickly enough. She ran for the stairs. She'd call Dillard on the way. They could confirm that he was there, but she didn't trust the universe not to screw her over royally. It was up to her to save Derek. She somehow knew it.

She drove as quickly as she could, confirming that a male matching Derek's description had been brought in and was in critical condition. She was seething as she drove: at the universe and at Derek and at the EMTs who had taken Derek to some other hospital when they should have taken him to Grey-Sloan and at herself for doubting her instincts. And she needed that anger, needed that anger to fight, because otherwise she would cave. It was freaking ridiculous of her to think that she was blessed. She was dark and twisty, and she attracted the worst things to happen to her. Of course the universe would not allow her to be happy for more than five freaking minutes…Of course the instant she was happy the entire world would begin to implode on her, after all isn't that what happened when Derek got shot and when the plane crashed…. And she had to stop thinking about it all or she would go crazy, completely crazy.

She pulled in to the unfamiliar E.R., slamming her door and sprinting into the building. "Derek Shepherd. Where is he?"

The woman sitting at the admission desk looked at her list, "I'm sorry. We don't have anyone by that name."

Meredith huffed, running her fingers through. "Rescue said that the people from the accident were taken here and the others to Grey-Sloan. He's a doctor there. They would have recognized him. Are you sure that you just don't have your files updated, maybe he's already left." Of course if he had left, he would have called her, he would have left her a message. She turned away in frustration. Across the room the curtain of one of the cubicles parted enough for her to see there was a major trauma case, as doctors and nurses buzzed around the patient. Before anyone could stop her, she bolted across the room, peeking into the curtain, because that would explain everything. It had to be Derek.

The admitting nurse followed after her and grabbed her arm trying to pull her away from the cubicle, but Meredith fought, "no, that is Derek. That is my husband." She pulled away, and pushed herself to his bedside. She had the authority as a doctor in her bearing, that the doctors swarming for the moment didn't even seem to register that she did not belong. "Has he had a CT?" His eyes opened to stare at her. "Oh, Derek." she whispered. She grabbed a pen light and began the process of checking his neurological function. "Can you squeeze my hand?" His hand remained limp in hers as she rubbed circles with her thumb on the back of his uninjured hand.

"Get him a CT, now!" she barked at the nurse and the red headed doctor that was entering the space. They didn't move, and Meredith continued her examination. "Did you hear me? He needs a CT and to get into surgery."

"Ma'am, I'm sorry. But I'm going to have to ask you to leave," the red-head ordered. "the doctors need to be able to work on him."

"What do you think I am? Do you think that I'm wearing these scrubs for the fun of it?" she motioned towards the navy scrubs that she hadn't had the time to change out of in her rush to find him. "I'm Dr. Meredith Grey. I am a doctor, and so is he. He's a neurosurgeon. One of the best in the country, in fact, try calling the president and asking him if you need to, but I know what I'm talking about. He needs a CT, and he needs it now, not in 5 minutes, not in an hour. Do you see that head lac? He could have a brain bleed. My husband could die if it is not caught, and with all we've survived, from secret marriages, to ferry boat crashes, to a mass shooting, to a plane crash, he's not going to freaking die because of some stupid car crash. My husband is not going to die today. I won't let him." She looked at Derek, "110, remember?"

"OK, let me just get the attending in here."

Meredith cut her off, "I will find your CT, and cut in front of anyone right now. I save him single-handedly if I have to. I almost went into Neuro, I studied under Derek for several years, and if I have to drill the burr holes to save him, I will do the freaking burr holes myself. Just get out of my way."

"We don't even have a positive ID on this patient." the nurse stammered.

"Dr. Derek Christopher Shepherd. Have you not been listening, now back out of my way. Call who ever you want, but I'm getting him the help he needs, so you can help me help him or you can get out of my way."

*************How Meredith couldn't wait to freak out until she found out where Derek was and saved his life.******