Tsuna wasn't the most athletic or intelligent or even the most sociable. The whole being able to see people's true intentions made it a bit hard to really socialize with people and the fact that he had been given the name 'no-good Tsuna,' by his classmates. But that was besides the point.
Every single doctor he continued to meet with, and most importantly his mother, thought him a teenager who had managed to get over a horrifying sort of trauma. Though, that didn't seem to stop the dark colors from appearing around his mother every time she would look at him or when they were in the same room together.
It made things a bit difficult for them. Oh, his mother hid it all rather well, always with a smile on her face, she was amazing when it came to hiding her true feelings, and if Tsuna didn't have the advantage that he did, well he didn't think he would have ever been able to tell. It didn't seem to matter what all the doctors seemed to tell her, the colors never really disappeared around her, they would lighten into softer shades but never really go away.
It was something truly heartbreaking to not be able to see the vibrant colors that always used to surround his mother. It probably took Tsuna longer to realize than it should have, but it became startlingly clear to him one day.
Nana Sawada had deemed herself a failure as a mother, for something that had never really happened.
For some time, Tsuna had done his best to reassure his mother that was not, in fact, true. He tried his best in school, tried to keep up with the other kids in gym class, but nothing ever seemed to get through to his mother, who was always letting him do what he wanted, never said anything in chastisement.
It wasn't long after that Tsuna realized nothing he did could make his mother feel better. So one day he changed his plan, by accident of course.
There was an exam Tsuna had to take in class one day and even though he had studied for it, he had still failed it, horribly. The material just didn't seem to process, the tests just made everything sound so complicated, even in class when the teacher simplified everything, Tsuna was distracted with all the varying shades of colors all in one single room.
So he had failed, and when he had brought the test paper back to his mother with a needed signature, there had been nothing new to her face, just the same faux smile. That wasn't what had caught Tsuna's attention though, it was the soft flicker of a pale red-orange color that broke through the darker colors before it was overwhelmed and disappeared. Tsuna knew what that meant, his mother had been upset enough by the grade that it had shown through the darker blues and purples. His mother had signed the paper and said nothing. But a new hope had slowly blossomed.
After that Tsuna stopped trying. Not that it was all that hard, he had barely been able to keep up with his fellow classmates, barely passing his classes. He brought home failed test paper after test paper, and each time the pale red-orange color would flicker, sometimes more red than orange, other times more orange than red. His mother's faux smile would slip more and more each time, until one day she took the sheet of paper with no smile, a sort of blood orange color seeping through and overwhelming the then normal dark colors.
Her lips had parted, eyes narrowed as she took in the contents written on the test paper. Tsuna knew then, that this had to be it, the moment he would get his mother back. The woman who smiled genuinely when ever she would see him, whose colors would shine just a bit brighter in his presence, who would scold him, however gently it truly was, when he failed or did something he was not supposed to do. The woman who was always surrounded by a beautiful emerald green.
Her brown eyes met Tsuna's own, and the light that had been in them for just a brief moment, dimmed. The beautiful orange color slowly faded away, replaced by what had to be Tsuna's least favorite colors in the entire world. She smiled, grabbed a pen, signed where it was instructed, and handed the sheet of paper back. Tsuna took the paper, feeling numb all over. A loud roaring sound rang through his head.
It was the worst feeling, having his mother turn away from him, it was like a rejection of the worst kind.
Tsuna had quickly learned that it was safer not to mention the colors he saw. Not to his mother, not to the doctors he had grown used to, especially not to his fellow classmates.
Lie. Lie. Lie.
It had become something he was always ridiculed about, just another thing on a long list of things they didn't like about Tsuna. Something they laughed about to their friends 'No-good Tsuna was dumb and crazy,' without knowing if it was in fact true or not.
So Tsuna kept to himself, it was easier and less painful than knowing that the person who wanted to be his friend or even approached him, had ulterior motives, had intentions to make his life more difficult than it already was. So he kept to himself and became an outcast among those who once called themselves his friends until they realized just how weird and strange and absolutely no good at anything he was.
Tsuna's mother was distancing herself from him, his dad was nowhere he could possibly reach, and he had no friends to rely on. He was truly miserable.
He spent most time outside, quickly learning that him just not being around tended to make the dark colors around his mother lighten. He spent most of his time outside, avoiding the place he called home for as long as possible, but being outside so often gave his tormentors easy access to him. In school nothing much happened, nothing more than mean and rude words being thrown at Tsuna, everyone still to scared at being caught by an authoritative figure and possibly getting into trouble, it was one of the few rare cases he was actually grateful for school. Outside though, outside they didn't have those worries, and Tsuna had quickly learned that he never wanted to be out in the open or in an area without adults around.
It was one day where he had been found by a group of classmates, that he found someone as vibrant as his mother had once been.
He had been outside, near the park, when a group of boys that went to school found him. It honestly had not been the worst he had faced. He had known that they would not simply have let him pass, not with the pale red that surrounded the one who seemed to be the leader, he was aggravated and he was going to take that aggravation out on Tsuna. But they did nothing more than throw cruel words and shove him around roughly. Then they had shoved him hard enough that he landed on ground flat on his back, his head hitting the asphalt with a sickening crack. His eyes clenched tightly shut against the pain that blossomed from a single point.
"Hey!" The voice was loud and echoed throughout the otherwise silent park. "What do you brats think you're doing!?" Startled murmurs ran through the small group of boys, obviously not used to others interfering with their usual tormenting of Tsuna. They seemed to come to the conclusion that it would be best to run, because the sound of running footsteps broke through the pounding in Tsuna's head. He heard irritated grumbling from above him, before there were hands pulling him up into a sitting position. Tsuna tensed, immediately shoving the unknown person's hands off.
"Hey, are you alright?" His eyes snapped open, immediately zeroing in on the long haired woman looking at him with open concern. Her hands hovered over him, as if wanting to check him for any injuries but holding herself back, having caught on to the boys discomfort. His attention darted away from the ladies face to the colors that surrounded her and was immediately mesmerized. She was surrounded by mix of orange-yellow, (obviously her concern was not something she was faking), a light red (irritation), but what had Tsuna mesmerized was the emerald green that seemed to glow brighter than any of the other colors.
Almost like his mother's own.
"Hey, are you alright?" the lady repeated, her attention turning more worried. Tsuna's attention snapped back to the unknown lady's face. He gave a shaky nod, only to wince when it caused more pain to shoot through his skull. The woman gave a barely audible 'tsk,' before she crouched before him, pulling Tsuna closer to her. She raised her hand, until it was hovering over the back of Tsuna's head. The flash of something bright caught Tsuna's attention, his eyes immediately darting to the woman's wrist.
There, wrapped around her right wrist was a bright yellow thread. Tsuna's eyes followed it down to where it lay in a tangled mess on the floor, before leading down further down the street. It was brighter than his mother's, not in the sense that yellow was a brighter, more eye catching color, but it seemed to glow brighter. It wasn't as dull or faded as his mother's own indigo color now seemed, or even his math teachers, who had a yellow string tied around his wrist as well.
"You have a pretty nasty bruise back here," the woman stated, her voice drawing Tsuna's attention back to her instead of the string attached to her wrist, "does it hurt a lot?"
Tsuna gave a hesitant nod, only to wince once more in pain. The woman let out a soft chuckle at the action, before taking his face into her hands and drawing her face closer to his, a kind smile on her face, "you probably don't want to do that again," Tsuna gave her a shy smile in agreement, and the colors around her brightened, "Ma, aren't you a cute one!"
"Hold still alright?" she said, before she returned her hands to the back of his head where the pain seemed to be the worse. Tsuna watched the woman in bewilderment, before a warm sensation seemed to dull the painful aches in the back of his head. His eyes widening in amazed wonder when she pulled back. His hand raising to where his head had made contact with the asphalt. There was no longer any more pain or even the bump that should have been there.
"All better?" She asked, a kind smile still on her face even if she looked much more tired than she had just moments before.
"Y-yes!" Tsuna smiled gratefully, "u-um, h-how did you do that?" He asked. The woman just gave him another smile.
"Well that's a secret!" She grinned, her eyes full of mischief. "It wouldn't be much of one if I told you, now would it?" Tsuna shook his head sadly. He understood the need for secrets. He had his own after all, some things were just better left not told to others. He had told his mother, and classmates all about the colors he saw, and look what that had gotten him. People labeled him crazy and his mother couldn't stand being in the same room with him. "Now, what's your name child?"
"T-tsuna," another smile and Tsuna couldn't help but watch the pure green colors that surrounded the lady, it almost hurt his eyes looking at such vibrant colors after only really seeing the dark colors that overpowered everything else at times.
"Well it's nice to meet you, Tsuna," the lady stood to her feet, before gently taking Tsuna's hand and pulling him up as well. She dusted off the dirt that covered him. Her long dark hair falling forward at the movement.
"U-um, w-what's your name?" Tsuna asked, shifting nervously from foot to foot. The lady's brown eyes lit up in embarrassment, as she seemed to remember she'd never introduced herself.
"Oh my, I can't believe I let that slip my mind when I'm always telling my own son to have manners!" She moved away, shifting until she was standing straight, and Tsuna had to tilt his head back slightly, "I'm Yamamoto Atsuko!" She grinned proudly, as she stared down at the child.
Yamamoto Atsuko, that was the kind lady's name. Tsuna grinned happily, eagerly taking the older womans hand when she offered it to him.
The kind lady with the vibrant colored aura and bright glowing yellow string was Tsuna's first friend.
Tsuna and Atsuko-san ('don't call me Yamamoto-san, Atsuko is just fine Tsuna!') met at the park often. They didn't do much but talk, and sometimes at Atsuko-san's urging would play on the swings. Tsuna never wanted to go home after school, and Atsuko-san stayed with him until she had to leave, and then she would walk him all the way to the street his house was on, making sure he got home.
Being in the house with his mother never got any better. In fact, it was stifling. Maybe it was the fact that Nana couldn't look at Tsuna without growing upset or the fact that his mother never said a thing to him when he brought home a new sheet of paper from a teacher telling her how pathetic her son was in polite, clipped tones. And when she did say something it was a sigh and a muttered, "nothing new," that Tsuna didn't know if she had intended for him to hear or not, but always did.
So he stayed out more often, always with Atsuko-san, her smile and vibrant auras like a balm to the bad things in his life.
In their time together, he learned that she had a family of her own. They had moved here not to long ago, a husband who made some of the best sushi, and was soon opening his own restaurant and that Tsuna should come visit on opening day next week, she would get him some free sushi.
She had a son Tsuna's own age and when Tsuna heard this he felt absolutely terrible, because he was taking up all of Atsuko-san's time, how could she possibly have time to spend with her own son? When he said as much to the older lady, she had laughed happily, claiming that her son spent most of his time playing baseball and he was at the age where he didn't want to be seen with his mother.
But the vibrant colors around his friend had dimmed slightly, a light blue appearing among the green. Tsuna remembered his own mother, not willing to spend much time with him anymore, and couldn't help but think Atsuko-san's son was an idiot.
It didn't take long for Atsuko-san to learn of Tsuna's lack of athleticism, or his abysmal grades, turns out she was quite the athletic person. She had quickly taken to having Tsuna pull out his homework every time he arrived at their usual meeting spot, and helping him through it. When that was finished she had him run around the park, while it didn't really help in his complete lack of athletic skills, she thought that was mostly to blame on his clumsy nature, it did help his stamina. It had gotten to the point where he could out run the bullies that chased him after school long enough for him to reach the safety Atsuko-san provided. His grades steadily improved with Atsuko-san's kind guidance and where he'd once eagerly show his mother; he didn't.
He was scared of being rejected again, intentional or not. The hope of possibly getting his mother to feel something other than the usual distraught and disappointment that covered her like a coat had long since died away. He'd stopped hoping that his mother would return to her old self. No, he always showed Atsuko-san his improvement and she would grin proudly at him, and gently run her hand through his hair.
Tsuna had grown comfortable with the older lady. Who never seemed to ask him questions, or press for answers when she did. And one day Tsuna had let slip that he wouldn't be able to meet her the next day, because he had an appointment with one of those doctors, the look on her face was one of great concern. She had questioned why he needed to see a psychologist, Tsuna had shook his head furiously, because she was an adult that didn't look at him as if he had suffered through some great horrific tragedy, who didn't think him crazy. She had smiled sadly, but understanding hadn't pushed for answers.
Tsuna debated with himself. Debated, on whether maybe he should tell Atsuko-san that he could see colors around everyone, could see different colored pieces of thread attached to people's wrist that seemed to lead on forever. Debated and debated and debated some more before setting the thought aside to think on some more later.
The strings that were wrapped around people's wrists all varied in color. There were yellow, red, indigo and purple and blue, and green, but no orange. Not like his. His was a single orange thread mixed in a pool of different colored threads.
Maybe he should be happy, he was original, unique, special. But all Tsuna could think about was the fact that there was just one more thing that made him different than everyone else, one more thing he didn't have in common with others, something that could be a cause of ridicule, even if no one else could see it.
The threads seemed to vary in brightness. Some vibrant and attention catching, while others were more dull and saturated, they looked sad and pathetic lying next to the more bold threads. Tsuna had quickly learned that the threads told him nothing of a person, not like the aura that surrounded everyone seemed to, and that the dull seeming colors were much more common than the brilliant ones. But they had to mean something if they were there right?
"What are you staring at?" Atsuko-san asked, her voice as calm and soft as always. Tsuna pulled his attention from where he had been staring at a boy years older than himself, a dull green slip of thread wrapped snuggly around his left wrist.
"Eh?" Atsuko-san smiled at him, before nodding her head back in the direction of the teenager he had been staring at earlier.
"You were staring at his wrist, you did the same when you first met me," she explained, turning where she was seated on the park bench until she was facing Tsuna. Tsuna gave a nervous shrug. Atsuko-san's attention remained on Tsuna, as if she was considering something about him. Her full attention on him, had Tsuna's heart racing, had him nervous that maybe she would figure out that Tsuna wasn't normal.
"You never look at people, you look at the area around them, and even their wrists," she mused, her attention drifting to the teenager, who was waving at a group of boys the same age as him, who had to be his friends. That must be nice, having so many friends. She turned back to the child next to her. Tsuna curled into himself, his hands fisting themselves around the fabric of his pants, "what do you see that no one else can Tsuna?"
Tsuna shook his head frantically, he couldn't tell her, Atsuko-san would think him weird and leave him, and he didn't want to be alone again! He needed something to distract her, anything to make her forget about her questions, even for just a while.
"W-what does it mean when there's strings attached to someone?" The words came out before Tsuna could truly think better of them. He turned slightly, eyes wide as he took in the bemused look on the older womans face. It was a habit, asking Atsuko-san for answers on things he did not understand, and at the moment he did not understand the point of the strings that were wrapped around everyone's left or right wrist. It was a habit he never thought he would ever hate, until that moment.
"String? What do you mean?" Atsuko questioned, her attention immediately focusing on Tsuna, but it was nothing like the intense stare she had given him moments before. Tsuna's question taking her by surprise enough to throw her off topic. Tsuna felt himself relax.
"W-when a colored string is wrapped around your hand," Tsuna began, because maybe, just maybe Atsuko-san knew the answer. "They're red and-," his words trailed off when the older woman's face lit up in recognition.
"Are you speaking of the string of fate?" She questioned, leaning closer to the young child. Tsuna gave a shrug in reply, but attention remained focused on the long haired woman. She hummed softly, her hand coming to rest across her lap. She turned from the child next to her eyes drifting towards the park where a few children were running around playing.
"It's said that the red string of fate connects two people together, two people who were meant to meet." Her voice was soft and low as she explained, her attention focused on the small group of children, "the string can tangle, stretch and make a complete mess of itself, but it can never really break."
Tsuna stared on quietly, letting the words settle in his mind. He glanced down at his right wrist, and he couldn't help but wonder if that was what the thread wrapped around his own wrist meant. The thought of someone actually liking him even through all his faults was an appealing thought.
"Ma! Well, it's all superstition and all that!" Atsuko laughed, waving her hand back and forth, as if she could possibly wave the thought away. The yellow string tied around her wrist shook with the movement catching Tsuna's eye. Atsuko-san's was yellow, and Tsuna's was orange, not red, he noted. Did that mean something different? "Well it's about time we got you home. it's getting late," she stood to her feet, dusting off the blue sundress she had on, extending her hand to Tsuna. Tsuna took her hand without hesitation, jumping down off the bench.
They walked on in silence, Atsuko-san humming softly to herself. It wasn't until they had reached the street where Tsuna's house resided in that Atsuko-san spoke.
"You should really meet my son Tsuna!" She said cheerfully, a grin on her face as she stared down at the child. Tsuna startled, glancing up at the woman with wide eyes. "I think you guys would get along great!"
"E-eh?"
"Yeah! Takeshi really likes making new friends!" She continued, her hand tightening briefly around Tsuna's smaller one, "I can bring him with me next week!"
"E-eh, are you sure?" Tsuna asked his voice low, barely audible, but Atsuko heard him just fine.
"Yeah! He doesn't have practice next week, you could meet him then!" She declared, her grin not once ever faltering, "I think you two go to the same school, but different classes?" She mused to herself,and Tsuna felt the small joy of meeting someone new, of possibly making a new friend, slowly dwindle and die. There was no way Atsuko-san's son would want to be Tsuna's friend if he went to the same school as 'No-good Tsuna.' Everyone would have immediately told him about Tsuna.
"Errm, I think it's ok, you don't have to bring your son," Tsuna said, trying to keep his disappointment off his face. Atsuko glanced down at him her eyes sharpening, immediately sensing something wrong with the child.
"Nonsense! You and Takeshi will meet, and be great friends!" Atsuko declared, her smile gone as she stared down at Tsuna, willing him to understand that it was inevitable and it was going to happen because she said as much. Tsuna nodded, slightly intimidated by the older woman. Her smile reappeared, happy at getting her way.
"Great!" She clapped her hands together, before placing one on Tsuna's shoulder and softly pushing him forward, "you should get home." Tsuna nodded and moved to walk forward giving the older woman a wave.
"Oh, Tsuna!" Hearing his name had Tsuna pausing, and turning to face the older woman. Atsuko had a gentle smile on her face as she met his eyes head on, "seeing things that others can't, doesn't make you crazy or weird just because some people say you are, it just makes you different, and to some, irreplaceable," Tsuna's eyes widened in surprise, because Atsuko-san had figured it out. She had observed him long enough she had realized Tsuna saw things no one else could see. Atsuko grinned, a mischievous gleam in her eye, before extending a hand and ruffling Tsuna's already wild hair. She said nothing else simply turning on her heel and making her way home.
And Tsuna, Tsuna watched her until he couldn't see the older woman anymore, feeling nothing more than awe, and just a small spark of hope stirring. Maybe, just maybe someone wouldn't call Tsuna crazy if he told them of the things he could see.
Maybe someone already liked him, even through all his faults.
The day Tsuna was to meet Atsuko and her son came much too quickly Tsuna decided. He shifted nervously in his seat. His eyes scanning the familiar area, trying to spot the older woman and her unknown child.
Since their last meeting the thought of perhaps telling Atsuko of his strange ability of being able to see what exactly others were feeling had once more crossed his mind. Atsuko already obviously knew there was something different about Tsuna, if what she had said the last time they were together was any indication. It was the thought that she had known something was off about Tsuna, and still treated him no different, that gave him enough courage to show up to their usual meeting place.
He would tell Atsuko-san, and maybe for the first time be accepted. He didn't worry about meeting her son too much, after all the boy couldn't be as mean as his other classmates right? Not with Atsuko-san as his mother. And maybe by the end of the day he would be able to add another person to his very short list of people who genuinely liked him. So he remained seated on the wooden bench, his legs rocking back and forth, his feet barely able to touch the ground.
He waited, and waited, and waited.
The parents that had decided to take their children to the park began to thin as the sun lowered. A red and orange hue taking over the sky, but still Tsuna remained where he was. His eyes scanning the almost empty area for any sign of the familiar woman. His eyes scanning the park, growing just the tiniest bit more frantic the longer he searched and waited.
It wasn't until the sky was dark, with nothing but the small crescent of the moon lighting the park, that Tsuna moved from his seated position, shifting his way off the cold bench he was seated on. His feet touched the ground with a barely audible crunch of dirt, but that seemed eerily loud in the quiet of the park. His eyes scanned the surrounding area once more, hoping for all his worth that a tall long haired figure would come running, emerging from the dark shadows, an apologetic grin on her face, as she explained why she was late.
It had happened once before, maybe just maybe-?
Nothing emerged from the dark, no movement, no sounds, nothing. Just the rustling of the trees that surrounded the park, as a soft gentle breeze swept through the area.
She left you.
His hands clenched into fists, in frustration, and what he had no doubt was heart break. He raised his clenched fist to wipe at the tears that were slowly making their way down his face.
There was no way Atsuko-san would just abandon him! She had to have been held up, and maybe there was no way she could tell Tsuna? Maybe she didn't make an appearance because she thought Tsuna would already be home. She would be here tomorrow.
With that self assurance, Tsuna turned on his heels and made his way home. Atsuko-san would be upset with him if she ever learned he had stayed out so late when he had school the next day.
Tsuna returned to his and Atsuko-san's meeting spot in the park the next day. Taking a seat on the bench, and pulling his school assignments from his school bag, he waited. He waited until dark fell, his eyes scanning the area for the familiar woman. His small hands clenched tightly around the same sheets of assignments he had pulled out when he had first arrived.
He waited but Atsuko-san never appeared.
He left, and returned the next day, and the next, and the next. Each and every time there was no sign of Atsuko-san. He continued on for a week, before beginning to accept the fact that maybe just maybe his one and only friend really, had truly abandoned him.
Maybe she had grown tired of Tsuna's lack of grace and no talent in anything involving athletic ability, so unlike her son in that regard. Perhaps she had grown annoyed with his inability to keep his attention focused on the assignments she was helping him through, always having to repeat things over and over again, before Tsuna even began to process them.
Maybe she just finally realized how utterly useless, and abnormal Tsuna really, truly was.
His hands clenched around the sheets of paper that sat on his lap. The crinkling of paper barely processing in his mind. His vision blurred as tears began to gather, and then fall, landing on the crumpled sheets of paper, the ink still visible smudging as the drops of water landed on them.
The sound of approaching footsteps had Tsuna hunching into himself. His body tense, because no one ever approached Tsuna unless they wanted to hurt or ridicule him, with Atsuko-san being an exception. The sound of dirt crunching underneath slow and measured footsteps quieted. A pair of black polished shoes came to a stop before Tsuna.
"You're Tsunayoshi-kun?" It was a man speaking, his voice low. Tsuna gave a shaky nod of his head, but made no move to look up at the older male. The man let out a pained sigh and when he spoke next, his voice shook, as if the words he was speaking were physically paining him. "My name is Yamamoto, Tsuyoshi."
Hearing the familiar name had Tsuna's head snapping up to stare at the taller male, because this was Atsuko-san's husband. A smile quickly replaced the frown he had been wearing only moments before, his hands coming up to scrub at the tears that still remained. The feelings of rejecting vanishing in the fact that Atsuko-san must have had been caught with something. Something that she couldn't get away from and so had sent her husband to tell Tsuna.
"You're Atsuko-san's husband!" Tsuna exclaimed happily. Yamamoto-san gave Tsuna a shaky smile, his hand coming down to pat Tsuna's head.
"Yeah," the man withdrew, taking in a deep breath as he turned to glance at the park. It was mostly empty, only a few kids running around, their laughter ringing throughout the area. "This is where you met with Atsuko," he let out a pained laugh, "all she ever told me was that she would meet you in a park, never specified which one," Yamamoto-san raised a hand to his face, covering his eyes as he curled into himself slightly, "it was like she just expected me to know which park you would be in."
Tsuna felt his smile slip, as his eyes drifted from the man's face to the cloud of colors that seemed to surround the man. Dark blues, and a red that seemed closer to the color brown. Tsuna felt a feeling of foreboding as he watched the colors.
"Yamamoto-san where is Atsuko-san?" His voice was quiet, barely loud enough to reach the man, but heard he did as Yamamoto-san stiffened. The hand covering his eyes fell away from his face, falling limp at his side. The look in his eyes had Tsuna sucking in a sharp breath, his eye widened, and he could feel the sting of tears in his eyes, before the older man even spoke.
"Atsuko- Atsuko was in an accident a few days ago," the man explained, shoving his trembling hands into the pockets of his trousers. And for the first time Tsuna realized the man was wearing a black suit with a white collared shirt underneath, the tie hanging loosely around his neck, "I-I've been looking for you," he gave a bitter laugh, "she was always talking about you, always saying what a sweet kid you are."
Tsuna could only stare at the man, as the words slowly turned in his head. It was like someone had taken a bat to his chest. It was gut wrenching, Atsuko-san was dead, had been for a few days, if Yamamoto-san's words were to be believed and Tsuna saw no reason not to believe him and he had only just found out.
His one and only friend was gone, and Tsuna didn't know what to do.
He wanted to scream, to cry, to be angry, because he had even missed her funeral. He didn't even get to say goodbye. She was gone and Tsuna was all alone again.
All alone, because no one wanted useless Tsuna, no one would ever willingly put up with him.
His hands are shaking as he clutches the sheets of papers still in his hands. Everything seems to go gray from there, his vision swimming as his head falls forward his eyes staring at the ground once more. He hears someone calling his name and it must be Yamamoto-san, but it's all muffled, nothing is coherent at that moment.
Because his friend is gone.
Maybe, maybe her leaving, and giving up on him would have been less painful? Because then, then Atsuko-san would still be alive. Not buried in a wooden box.
A pair of arms wrap around him, pulling him into a comforting hug and Tsuna stiffens in the older man's embrace. Yamamoto-san says nothing, just tightens his hold around Tsuna. And Tsuna, Tsuna does nothing, just remains tense in the older man's arms. His trembling hands still clinging to the sheets of paper.
"Atsuko really loved you," his words are soft, barely above a whisper, but Tsuna hears him just fine. He feels the stinging of tears in his eyes, his vision blurring with unshed tears. He chokes back a sob, his hands raising to cling onto the older man's suit jacket, the sheets of ruined paper gently falling to the ground.
Tsuna's not sure what to do anymore. He has no friends to talk to, now that Atsuko-san is gone. His mother still keeps her distance, his bullies have come back with vengeance, now that Atsuko-san was no longer around to scare them off, and honestly Tsuna is just sick of life.
His meetings with his psychiatrist, don't help with anything, only continue to get more annoying. Annoying because that doctor has noticed something different about Tsuna, noticed something has upset him. And isn't it funny that a stranger notices, while his own mother doesn't?
She continues to ask him to open up to her, but Tsuna doesn't. Her colors are alway a pale orange around him, and Tsuna knows she's frustrated with him. She says Tsuna might be falling into a depression. And Tsuna can't help but think for someone so intelligent, she can be so so dense.
He just lost his one and only friend, the only person who ever really seemed to care about him. So of course he's going to be upset. Not that she knows that piece of information.
Tsuna continues to put up with it, continues on with his life like he always did before Atsuko-san came into his life. He goes to school, does his best at avoiding bullies, continues to fail his classes. Goes back to being no-good Tsuna, with no friends.
But it's hard, it's hard continuing on with his day, knowing that Atsuko-san won't be meeting with him at the end of the day like she always did.
It was six months after Atsuko-san's death that Tsuna meets Yamamoto Takeshi for the first time. And it's honestly one of his worst memories to date, excluding Atsuko-san's death.
It happens on the first day of his first year of middle school. They have class together, and Tsuna immediately recognizes him when he walks through the classroom door. He's the spitting image of his father. Yamamoto takes a place a few seats away from him, and is immediately surrounded by eager classmates. Tsuna wants to look away, he really does, because if he was caught staring there was no doubt that his classmates would be all to happy to harass him for it.
But he can't.
The colors surrounding Atsuko-san's son are a mixture of dark blues and purple. They're nothing like Atsuko-san's own brilliant green or even Yamamoto-san's own pale blue and green (who is slowly but surely getting over his wife's death.) His attention stays glued to the group of classmates, or more specifically on Yamamoto-kun, because he's laughing, and joking, and getting along just fine with his classmates, friends, but it's all just a facade.
Like Tsuna's own mother.
And Tsuna immediately hates it because this is Atsuko-san's son, he shouldn't be hiding what he was feeling, and he definitely should not be feeling like he was currently. He shifts in his seat, his gaze still focused on the familiar child, and then Yamamoto glances up, his eyes meeting Tsuna's own unintentionally. His smile slips from his face as he continues to stare, and Yamamoto's sudden silence has his friends attention swiveling around to stare at Tsuna as well.
Tsuna is immediately on the receiving end of his classmates jeers and taunts. He does his best to ignore them, after all it's not anything he hasn't heard already. Yamamoto's eyes are on him the entire time, never once shifting from his form.
"What's your name?" The words take Tsuna by surprise, his eyes widening as he continues to stare at the dark haired boy sitting a few seats away. The class falls into a hushed silence at Yamamoto's question, and Tsuna can only continue to stare in bewildered silence. Yamamoto waits, his head tilted to the side as Tsuna shifts in his seat nervously. The whole class seems to have their attention focused on him and Yamamoto.
"S-Sawada, Tsunayoshi," he mumbles out, his eyes shifting around the class, trying his best to avoid looking at the classmates watching the interaction with rapt attention. He eyes drift back to Yamamoto, and he immediately tenses when he catches sight of the aura of colors that surround Yamamoto. The colors have darkened slightly. His eyes drift to the taller boys face, and there on his face is the same faux smile he had on the entire time, but somehow Tsuna knows that smile is different.
"Ah, Useless-Tsuna!" Yamamoto grins, and there is something cruel behind that smile. Tsuna flinches back, as if slapped. Because that had hurt more than if it had been any of the other person in his class saying those words. The class breaks out into loud laughter at Yamamoto's words. He recieves a few pats on the back from his friends and everyone's attention is immediately shifted back to the dark haired baseball player.
Tsuna stays seated away from the crowd of students, doing his best to curl into himself wishing he could disappear. He feels the burning of unshed tears and he turns his head away from the class, not wanting anyone to see him on the verge of tears.
'He's a good kid! Always so happy!'
'He loves meeting and making new friends.'
Those things Atsuko-san always seemed to say about her son seem like such a lie at the moment. He wasn't anything like Tsuna had thought he would be. Laughter continues to echo throughout the classroom, only quieting when the door slides open once more, revealing their new teacher.
The students surrounding Yamamoto's desk scatter, each one moving to find a seat of their own. It doesn't take long for introductions to get started and then finished, students move around as they are directed to their newly assigned desks. Tsuna keeps his head down the entire time, his eyes doing his best to not look at the colored aura that surrounds the rest of the class. And when Yamamoto, Takeshi takes a seat next to him, Tsuna turns his body away from the taller boy.
It's like a switch of sorts.
After the incident with Yamamoto, Takeshi, who turns out to be quite the popular person, everyone seems to think it's alright to make Tsuna a target. The name calling is nothing new, he had always had rude and cruel words thrown at him, but the rough shoving, which had only really been a rare thing before, is much more common.
He constantly finds himself returning home battered and bruised. He avoids his mother as much as possible, but maybe he shouldn't, maybe if he ran to her like he did when he was younger and fell over and scraped his hands and knees, maybe she would stop being so distant. But then maybe it would only make things worse between them.
He makes his way upstairs, there's a first aid kit in the bathroom that he'd need to get before he could make his way to his room. It's as he's passing his parents, really just his mother's, bedroom to get to the restroom, that he pauses mid step. His mother's indigo thread lays on the floor leading to his bedroom, the door closed over it. He turns in the direction of the way he had come, and there is the string leading back to the lower floor of the house. How had he not noticed that?
He hesitates for a moment, before making his way back downstairs, as silently as he can. Not wanting his mother to see him the way he currently was. He closes the front door quietly behind him, he slumps against the door, only holding himself up for a moment before sliding down it to sit on the floor, his back against the door. He sits there for some time, his eyes closed, and he doesn't move, not even when he hears his mother come downstairs. He stays seated and doesn't move, at least not until he feels something twitch against his hand.
His eyes open, his head tilting down to stare at where his mother's indigo colored thread is twitching. He blinks in surprised confusion, lifting his hand out of the way as the string continues to softly twitch. His eyes follow the string as it leads to the front gate and then down the road.
He stares, curiosity clear on his face, he glances back at the door closed behind him and then back to the string. He wraps his hand around the quivering string, it's cool and sends a tingle through his arm. He pushes himself away from the door and quickly gets to his feet. He lets his hand fall to his side, but keeps his hold on the jerking string.
He follows the string out of the front gates, through the small street his house is located on, and continues following it until he enters the busiest parts of the shopping district and then out of it, into where most restaurants were located, the entire time he ignores the varying different shades of other strings.
The thread in his hand begins to grow cooler in his hand the further he walks, and Tsuna glances down at the string in his hand, only to stop at what he see's. The once Indigo colored string had faded into a lighter color, turning into what looked like a pale blue. His eyes move up following the string with his eyes, it takes him a moment to find the string, with so many others surrounding it but he does, the string having begun it's jerking movements once more. The further it goes the darker it seems to get, the pale blue turning into a darker blue.
Tsuna breaks into a light jog, ignoring the sharp pain that runs through him from his earlier injuries. He never lets the string drop from his hand, and he never takes his eyes off the now blue string. He barely manages to let out any sort of apology as he bumps and pushes people out of his way. His attention solely focused on the long piece of string he is following.
The sound of angry and upset shouting just up ahead gives Tsuna pause, the string in his hand jerking a bit more frantically. He has stopped just a few meters away from what looks like a sushi shop. The words TakeSushi written clearly in front. The string gives another jerk, before there is a loud crash and more arguing reaches his ears. The door to the shop jerks open and two men come tumbling out, landing in a graceless pile of limbs. They are both followed by a third, and this one Tsuna immediately recognizes as Yamamoto, Tsuyoshi.
He hadn't really seen the man after the day at the park, only really seeing him on occasion when they crossed paths, the man seems to be doing better than the last time Tsuna had seen him, the dark blue that had surrounded him is much lighter now, the darker blue is still there, (and Tsuna doesn't think it will ever really go away) but the lighter blue is much more prominent now. It would seem Yamamoto-san was healing while his son was not. And mixed in with the blue is a pale red, the man was obviously frustrated.
Yamamoto-san has his hands on his hips as he glares down at the two men still sprawled on the floor.
"If you're going to fight, do it somewhere else!" The man says, raising his hand in a gesture to the men, demanding them to leave, "this is a place to eat peacefully, not act like barbarians!" The blue string wrapped around his left wrist immediately catches Tsuna's eye. The blue was not as bright and vibrant as his wife's had been, it was only just a bit brighter than Tsuna's mothers own string. His eyes trail down, following the blue string as it leads to the ground and then in Tsuna's direction, before raising once into Tsuna's hand.
Tsuna startles at the string in his hand. Because out of everything that he had expected to be on the other end, this had not been one of them. Maybe, just a little bit, he had been hoping it would be his father. His father who had not been around for years, who only called once a year, who only sent postcards but never with a return address. Who else could possibly be connected to his mother. His eyes shift back up to the man that was somehow connected to his mother, and felt disappointment, because why had he even gotten his hopes up? He lets the string slip from his hands, letting it slowly float to the ground.