Lily barely registered the food she ate that night. Everything tasted like cardboard in her mouth as her mind focused on James, drifting away from the conversation and discussions at the table. She didn't notice the odd looks both Rhyad and Severus had been giving her since her little outburst. A glazed look covered her eyes as moments from her younger days flew through her mind, where her and James were best friends and though things could be a bit scary they knew everything would be ok, where there was a possibility of things getting better.

The pain of having that safety, security and friendship ripped away from her returned in flashes but her mind continually came back to the image of James, volunteering in the place of the little boy. Part of her wondered whether that had been his plan all along, after all, District Four was known as a career district. But that image clashed with the one of the little nine year old running into a burning house to save his best friend, of their late night conversations, of the secret games they used to play, of the way he'd tease her but wouldn't be able to go a day without promising her that he didn't mean it. All she could see was the little boy who had been her whole world, and the man he had become.

And now they'd be trying to kill each other

When she finally looked down at the plate of food in front of her she realised she'd missed the entire dinner, an empty plate of what looked to be something chocolate sat in front of her. She coughed lightly, causing Severus and Rhyad to look up.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to head to my compartment" and without another word, she pushed her chair out , pushed it in haphazardly and walked away from the table, not listening to Rhyad's protestations.

Once within the relative safety Lily quickly removed her dress and pulled on a nightgown she found in the closet. She slid into the deliciously warm bed and sat up, pulling her necklace over her head and holding it in her hands in quiet contemplation. She wondered whether he still owned his necklace with her awful engraving on it.

A knock on her door broke her out of her reverie. "Who is it?" she called.

"It's me!" came the gruff and slightly annoyed sounding voice of Severus. "Are you gonna let me in or not?"

Lily slid out of the bed and opened the door to him, walking away from the door and sitting on the edge of her bed. "There's no need to be rude Severus."

The door slammed behind him. "What the hell has got into you Lily?" He hissed, "Who was that boy from District Four and how on earth do you know him because it's obvious that something is going on here that you haven't told me!"

Lily scoffed derisively "Well excuse me for trying to keep some things private Severus." she pushed herself up from the bed, "Excuse me for not disclosing all the details of the frankly, quite painful aspects of my past! Is nothing mine anymore?"

"Well perhaps you shouldn't be acting like a love sick puppy, drooling all over..."

Lily cut him off with a, "LOVE SICK PUPPY!? Are you actually kidding? You're barking up completely the wrong tree Severus!"

"Well tell me then!"

"Fine!" Lily yelled, expelling what seemed to be her last morsel of energy before she fell heavily to sit on her bed, her head resting in her hand, "He's my best friend..." she started

Severus scoffed, "Best friend? I thought that was me?"

Lily sent angry death glares his way. "If you'd let me finish..." when Severus didn't respond she quietly said, "He's my best friend from...from before" not even sure whether she should be talking about it.

"From before?" Severus repeated, in disbelief.

"We were in the same district 8 years ago before...before the Capitol finally crushed the awful rebellion the districts had caused," she clenched her jaw, hating herself for saying those words that condemned the districts and the rebellion and praised the Capitol, but you couldn't be too careful. The room could be bugged and she didn't want anything to happen to her family back home, just because she said something they didn't like.

"We used to be inseparable...until we were...when we moved to new districts. I haven't heard or seen him in eight years Sev," she said looking up at him with sad eyes. "I don't know if he's even the same person anymore and now...we're going to be in this together"

"You'll kill him. I know you will, because it's the only way to survive" Severus said sitting down next to her

Lily just sighed and didn't reply. If she was honest she wasn't sure she'd be able to kill anyone in cold blood. Sure she'd defend herself and kill if she was attacked, but to seek out people to kill? That would be playing the game the Capitol want them to play and she didn't believe she could sink to that level.

It scared her a little to know that Severus was already contemplating killing to win. It jarred with her uncomfortably, but he'd been the one to befriend her when she first arrived in District 10. Very few people had been transferred from District Ten elsewhere after the rebellion, and so many viewed their family with suspicion. Of course after a few years this was soon forgotten but Severus had been her first friend. She just couldn't abandon that, perhaps if she stuck with him she'd be able to influence the way he was thinking. She didn't want to lose another best friend after all.