As the doors closed behind the last chariot, the prep teams engulfed their teams. Lily and Severus' prep teams and stylists were full of praise for how they handled themselves, babbling on about how marvellous everything had looked. All Lily could think of was how she would stand out against those from the career districts. Without support from sponsors, she'd be dead in the water once in the arena.
But she didn't have time to worry about that now.
Cerus helped her down from chariot and without a word to anyone to ask if it was ok, she grabbed one of her feet, pulled it up by the heel behind her and pulled off the heels one by one with a sigh of relief. Holding them in one hand, she held them over her shoulder and held one of her feet in her free hand, massaging it. She barely took any notice of the noise her team was making or what was going on around her until she felt the hairs rise on the back of her neck.
Someone was watching her.
She glanced up from her poor, swollen foot to find the culprit and her eyes landed on a smirking James. When he saw she'd seen him he muttered something to the girl from his district out of the corner of his mouth and she burst into a fit of laughter, one that James seemed to be struggling not to join in with.
Disgruntled and embarrassed by what had clearly been a joke about her, she felt her face blooming red and so she turned away to face Severus. Having obviously noticed the exchange he merely raised an eyebrow at her with a small quirk of his mouth as if to say "I told you so".
With a face like thunder Lily followed behind her team as they headed towards the elevators that would take them to their apartments. Unfortunately, as there were only a few shuttles,when Lily stepped in she found herself trapped in the enclosed space with Severus, James, The District 4 girl and their prep teams.
A charged silence filled the space and Lily purposely avoided looking at the boy by looking out of the glass sides of the elevator. They shot up several floors, the ground growing smaller below them with each passing second. The speed of it thrilled Lily but even so she gripped the railing at the edge, feeling as if the glass bottom of the elevator would fall out beneath them. They stopped briefly at Level four and the District four team left them. Lily allowed herself to watch as they left and noticed James' head twitch slightly as if he had started to turn his head round in their direction but had thought better of it.
And so Lily watched their backs retreating before the doors slid smoothly shut. And then they were shooting up and up and up. Lily felt like it was never going to stop, that they would keep going all the way to the roof and smash into it. But the car slowed and eventually stopped at Level 10. And then they were in their apartment.
If Lily had thought the train was extravagant, it was nothing compared to the opulence of the area she then found herself in. A large screen took up most of one of the walls but around it were brightly coloured chairs and couches. A bar stood against another, with bowls of fruit atop it for decoration. And up a small set of steps she noticed a glass table surrounded by rounded yellow chairs. It was to this they all proceeded, ready to feast, an excited babble coming from the prep teams as they exclaimed about how they never got to eat as extravagantly as they did when the games were on.
Great, Lily thought to herself, Glad my possible death means you get a chance to eat better food. Her and Severus exchanged glances but followed behind like sheep, taking a seat at the table, in Lily's case with difficulty as she attempted to sit down in her very short, tight dress. She ended up sitting almost sideways on her chair with her legs crossed at the ankle, her thighs clasped together tightly and her feet tucked behind a leg of her chair. Whenever she moved her dress made an embarrassing creak and she wished she could just take it off and go to bed. But instead she had to sit through this feast.
To force herself to eat she thought about the likely hunger she'd be feeling in a few days time and dug in, desperate for the extra layer of padding and staying power the food could give her. A server pressed a glass of something alcoholic; she assumed wine into her hand. She drank and winced a little at the bitter taste but persevered. If there was one thing her mother had taught her, it was good manners and she would not forget those now, even if she could be dead in a matter of days.
Whilst dinner progressed Lily tuned out of the conversation, the heavy food, alcohol and restricted oxygen from her constricted lungs as well as the stress from the last days making her sleepy. She stared distractedly at her plate, swirling her fork through the sweet peas. Had it really only been a day since she'd left her home? She wondered how her family was doing, whether they were shocked at her appearance in the procession or secretly crossing their fingers and praying that it made a difference. Probably both. She blinked and looked up as she noticed a lull in the conversation. She found everyone at the table looking at her intently. She blinked stupidly a few times before Cerus tittered lightly, "I think Lily is a little tired" she simpered. "Perhaps you should go to bed dear, maybe you shouldn't have had the wine"
Though desperate to prove she was made of a higher calibre Lily nodded, said her thanks to the team and proceeded down the corridor where one of the servers...Avox's she recalled belatedly, showed her to her room. Once there she stripped off her dress and sunk into the covers and protection her bed held.
But protection was the last thing she got.
That night terrifying dreams filled her unconscious mind. Her brain picturing all the different scenarios she could be plunged into. She found herself being pecked to death by pink birds with dagger like beaks. She was swept away in a tidal wave, drowning beneath the fearsome waves. She ate a plant she didn't recognise and died curled around her own vomit, clutching at her stomach, her lips blue and skin mottled purple. She found herself chased by wild dogs and chased up a tree only to be attacked by vicious tracker jackers. But that wasn't even the worst. How many times did she watch Severus die, not only at an unseen opponents hand but at her own. How many times did James come flying out of the darkness, sword, dagger, spear or axe in hand, hatred distorting his face as he struck her whilst she cried for mercy as she died. How many times did she find herself holding a knife to his throat, throwing a spear through his chest only to collapse weeping into him as he died, crying for her lost friend, her lost soul, the loss of her humanity.
She woke with a start, hair plastered to her face from sweat. She pushed the damp covers back with a muffled shriek. She crawled off the bed in the dark and curled up in a corner, her hands pressed tightly around her mouth to prevent the screams that were building inside her from coming out and revealing her weakness. She shivered in the cool air and trembled with fear and suppressed emotion. Drops of wetness reached her hands, in a continuous pattern as tears flowed silently from her eyes. She whimpered as she attempted to control her breathing and pull herself back to a reality that wasn't much better than the nightmares she'd left behind. When she felt the screams had been suppressed she shakily stood to her feet and clumsily made her way to the bathroom, where she hastily splashed water on her face and stared at her gaunt and ravaged face in the mirror before slumping onto the floor, the cold sapping the heat of the nightmares from her body. She sat like that for she didn't know how long, until her heart beat had slowed and the tears had mostly dried up. Suddenly feeling the cold she pushed herself up off the floor and wrapped her arms around themselves. She took one last glance in the mirror at herself, and turned out the light, returning to the darkness of her room.
Though her heart beat a little faster as she approached her bed she took several deep breaths before slipping under the now cold covers. She pulled them tight around her, holding onto them tight like an anchor to reality as she slipped back into a restless, but nightmare free sleep.
She woke up the next morning as Rhyad once again rapped on her door to announce the start of another big big excitement filled day. She sat up, noticing an outfit left out for her on her dressing table. She jumped quickly into the shower, delighting in the rejuvenating feeling of the warm water caressing her dried sweat covered skin. When she finally felt clean she got out of the shower and pressed her hand against a plate which sent a current through her, drying her hair and detangling it so it hung beautifully by the sides of her face. Now dry she returned to the room and to the outfit left out for her. A black short sleeved tunic and tight black trousers as well as a black hairband and black training shoes. She slipped the unfamiliar clothes on but was surprised at the flexibility they offered, giving her breathing space. She pulled her hair into a bun at the base of her head and surveyed her appearance in the full length mirror. Overall the effect was very dramatic in its simplicity and was very attractive, but why she needed to look attractive for this day she did not know. But she supposed, if she kept up the harsh appearance of the blackness, maybe she'd be taken seriously as a competitor by the gamemakers during their training sessions.
Now suitably attired she took a breath, determined to hide the weakness from the night before and headed out the door to breakfast, relieved that her face wasn't red and splotchy and that her eyes weren't raw and swollen. Weakness was the last thing she needed to show right now.