Goodness, this is going to be a long chapter guys. I could probably split it in two but I want to keep driving; I'd like to get to the Christmas holidays in a couple of chapters. Otherwise it just drags on so much. I did a lot of writing for this story recently but it was all stuff for chapters WAY in the future (like in the war and stuff). I don't want to brag but it's seriously thrilling stuff haha! You guys have something to look forward to!
Also to grueneHimbeere: no worries about Stacy. I'm a Slytherin too ;)
CHAPTER 28
The morning after my detention I found my bag back at the foot off my bed, probably left there by a house elf while I was asleep, and I was happy to find all my stuff in there as before, including my Potions essay and the marigold that I had gotten from Snape's ingredients cupboard.
When Aurora and Mathilda had asked about my detention I had kept it vague, merely nodding along to what they were saying and soon enough they were distracted by their own thoughts and matters. The week was over before I knew it and that weekend, the first weekend of October, it was also the first Hogsmeade weekend of the school year.
I had much studying to do so I had already told my friends that I wouldn't join them on a trip to the village on Sunday but Saturday I was planning to at least have a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. Saturday morning I was having breakfast late together with Mathilda and Aurora before we'd take the stroll down to Hogsmeade when Aurora brought up a subject that had been on my mind already as well.
'Maybe we should ask Cho and Marietta to come to the Three Broomsticks with us?' She suggested and I nodded, looking at Mathilda sideways. She was the one who didn't get along with Cho after all, but she was nodding as well. 'I think that'd be nice.' She said. 'A nice gesture.' She added. We all felt powerless at Cho's grief.
Cho had been a wreck since we arrived at Hogwarts (and presumably over the summer as well). She would go from bouts of excessive cheerfulness to crying spells that could last the whole night and I had taken to casting a silencing charm on the curtains around my bed. Marietta had been a great friend to Cho and I felt great admiration for her. It couldn't be easy to still be so supportive of someone so deeply sunken into her loss.
However, when we met them in line to get checked by Mr Filch and suggested the plan, they declined. 'We are actually already otherwise engaged.' Cho said and I was surprised to see that she looked positively excited. Marietta less so, an apprehensive frown on her face. 'Oh, well, that's alright then, we'll see you guys later.' Aurora stammered back, probably startled at the rejection. 'What plans could they possibly be having that they can't drink a butterbeer with us first?' Mathilda muttered grumpily from behind us, as she had stood back a bit, as the two best friends walked off into the distance, walking quite fast at that.
The Three Broomsticks was crowded as we had gotten a rather late start at the day and didn't arrive until late in the morning. We found a tight spot at the bar that we could perch ourselves down on and ordered a butterbeer for each of us.
'Do you guys want to go along to the WWN after?' Mathilda asked once we had gotten our drinks. 'To the WWN? The Wizarding Wireless Network?' Aurora exclaimed giddily. Mathilda pretended to be annoyed by her enthusiastic reaction, making a show of rolling her eyes and sighing before saying 'It's not all glitz and glamour, Rory!' which got a good laugh out of us.
'Honestly though, I just want to visit, say hi, all that.' Mathilda said. 'You don't want them to forget about you now your internship finished?' I asked teasingly. Mathilda shrugged shyly which I thought was pretty out of character. We agreed to go after we were done with our butterbeers.
'Cecilia's doing very well at her French classes, Tilda, you might want to join too.' Aurora said as we paid our tab with Madam Rosmerta. 'As if. I have absolutely no interest in learning French.' Mathilda replied however. Aurora turned to me. 'Isn't it fun, Cecil?' I nodded. 'Oui, je l'aime beaucoup.' I said in return and Aurora clapped encouragingly. 'That means nothing to me.' Mathilda commented drily as we swung our scarves around our necks and departed from the Hogsmeade pub.
'She likes it a lot, a lot she said.' Aurora translated. 'Now I have more time, definitely.' I added. 'When I was still taking nine classes I was drowning so I couldn't appreciate it as well as I can now.' I said seriously. Aurora elbowed Mathilda but the latter just huffed, pushing our dorm mate in the arm. 'Get off, Rory, I don't want to join your stupid French club.' She said.
Before Aurora could retaliate we were standing in front of the double doors of the WWN and we let Mathilda lead the way as she waltzed in. Last time I had been in the sleek looking lobby, it was for Mathilda to ask for a job, but this time round Mathilda completely bypassed the reception, walking straight towards the glass doors in the back.
'Hey!' The Welcome Witch called out but Mathilda didn't halt and we hesitantly hurried after her. 'Come on, you don't even work here anymore!' We could hear the woman call as the doors closed behind us again. We passed through many corridors and saw snippets of offices and recreational rooms as well as recording studios. 'Where are we going?' I asked Mathilda, trying to match her fast pace. 'The main production floor. That's where all the important twats hang out.' She answered. 'Aha.' I murmured, more so to myself.
It wasn't long before we arrived in a big sort of editorial office, up on the top floor. It was a big open room, large arched windows at the back end looking over Hogsmeade's main street. No one was admiring the view though. The room was in mayhem. Owls flew in and out, people were shouting at each other, memos flew over our heads. 'This is madness!' Aurora hissed, wide eyed. 'This is show business!' Mathilda corrected her, positively glowing as she looked over the room. Suddenly a man walked out of a door at the side and he spotted us by the entrance.
'Mathilda Goodfellow, what a sight for sore eyes!' The spiffy looking thirty-something year old with brightly coloured purple and yellow robes exclaimed as he approached with open arms. 'I wish I could say the same, Ian.' Joked Mathilda. They embraced briefly. 'You're here for another internship?' He asked and she laughed. 'You're going to have to pay me for the next one.' She bargained and he laughed as well, ruffling her hair up. 'We'll see about that.' He answered.
'Introduce me to your friends.' He demanded, looking at Aurora and myself, the two of us blushing furiously. 'These are my friends, Aurora Price and Cecilia Wiggleswade. They're in Ravenclaw with me.' She said and "Ian" rolled his eyes. 'You don't say.' He commented, eyeing our blue and bronze scarves. 'Well, I have to spell everything else out for you!' Mathilda defended.
The man, apparently one of the producers of the lunch time wireless show The Magic Table, was called Ian Crocksford, introducing himself with a dazzling pearly smile. He took us across the hallway into a dark little room that had a big window overlooking another room. I realized it was the control room of a recording studio. He showed Aurora and myself everything in the studio and even introduced us to Scott Vulgo, the popular wireless host.
In the meantime Mathilda was busy playing Miss Popular, saying hi to everybody, making sure we saw that she knew which levers to pull on the control panel and by even making a quick appearance on one of the WWN afternoon shows.
'Oh you were great!' Aurora squealed to Mathilda that night at dinner and Mathilda took the gushing willingly, smugly smiling as she ate her baked potatoes. 'I'm going to tell Adrian all about it after dinner.' She answered around the big bite she took, making her words muffled. She craned her neck, looking at the Slytherin table. 'If I can find him.' She added, swallowing the potatoes.
I looked behind me and scanned the table myself and saw that Adrian was indeed missing, as well was his best friend Warrington. I frowned. The whole Slytherin quidditch team was missing actually. 'Maybe they're at practice.' I suggested. Mathilda shrugged, having already moved on.
Sunday I had a quick breakfast and waved off my friends when they went down to Hogsmeade once again. They made one last attempt to convince me to come along. 'Isn't the weather great? Who knew autumn would last this long? You might not see the sun again till spring.' They said but I smiled and waved before walking up the stairs towards the Ravenclaw Tower.
They had been right though, the sun was shining brightly, so after some contemplation I decided to open up the window and sit on the window ledge, my scarf wrapped around my neck and my book perched atop my lap. I was among the few left in the common room. All who could had gone to the village but even the first and second years had put on an extra jumper and had gone outside, lounging on the grass and walking around the lake. The only people in the common room were studying, like me.
The day went by in a wink but I had managed to put a good dent in my homework so I felt satisfied and accomplished when Mathilda and Aurora came back into the common room, accompanied by Marietta and Cho. They joined me by the window sill, pulling over some chairs, as I closed the window. The sun was going down and it was getting a lot chillier.
I was glad to see Cho smiling. The four of them all had heavy blushes beat into their cheeks by the cold and their hair was blown into disarray by the wind. 'My scarf flew on top of the train!' Marietta exclaimed. 'What? On the Hogwarts Express?' I asked amused. Four heads nodded back at me. 'Yeah, some wizard coming by had to spell it off the roof.' Cho said with a laugh.
The weekend had been good, all five of us falling asleep while giggling in our dorm (even Mathilda and Cho getting along for the time being), but it was time for another school week again and Monday morning I went down to the common room with a big yawn but with an otherwise positive mood. However something was affixed to the notice board, students milling around it, standing on their toes to read it. It was a large poster, covering most other things on the board; the reminders of the forgotten library books, the advertisement for O.W.L. tutoring and the notices for the Duelling Club. It had large bold black lettering as well as a seal and signature at the bottom. I went to stand behind the other students, being able to read it, having a view of the poster just in between the heads of two seventh years.
By order of the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts
All Student Organizations, Societies, Teams, Groups, and Clubs are henceforth disbanded. An Organization, Society, Team, Group, or Club is hereby defined as a regular meeting of three or more students. Permission to re-form may be sought from the High Inquisitor (Professor Umbridge).
No Student Organization, Society, Team, Group, or Club may exist without the knowledge and approval of the High Inquisitor. Any student found to have formed, or to belong to, an Organization, Society, Team, Group, or Club that has not been approved by the High Inquisitor will be expelled.
The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-four.
Signed: Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor
'What's this all about?' Asked Cho and I realized that she and Marietta had come up from behind me. 'You think this is about..-?' Marietta began saying but she was quickly silenced with a sharp elbow in her side, provided by Cho, giving a short nod my way. I frowned, wondering what secret they had from me that could also have something to do with a new Educational Decree. I tried to shake it off, although it kept nibbling at the back of my brain.
'You do realize that this goes for the Quidditch Team too, right?' I reminded Cho and Cho swore. 'Merlin, I have to talk to the team!' She said, hastening her step as we all went down to breakfast together. In the Great Hall it was evident that the poster had been in the common room of all houses as everyone was talking about it.
'I just talked to the other Team Captains and that poster is being serious. We really have to file a request to get the team approved.' Roger Davies said as he sat with the rest of the Ravenclaw Team, Marietta and myself sitting next to them, having come down with Cho.
'Isn't that a tad ridiculous?' Dennis Chambers asked, one of the chasers on the team. 'To put it mildly?' His fellow chaser, a seventh year called Andreas Bradley, added to the conversation. Jeremy Stretton and Marcus Belby sat down in front of us. 'Where's Eddie?' Marietta asked. It was weird to see Marcus without his best friend Eddie Carmichael. 'Ill. He has been throwing up all night.' Marcus answered.
'Did you see the notice?' Asked Mathilda as she and Aurora joined us at the table. 'Yeah, we were just talking about it. Roger needs to get approval for the Quidditch Team.' Marietta said. 'All the captains have to.' I added. Aurora was frowning. 'What a weird rule to make. What good is this going to do?' She said. I thought back to Cho shushing Marietta.
I looked over at the two friends as they were whispering to each other. I couldn't make out much except the words '-..have to quit..-' uttered by Marietta and '-..a coincidence..-' by Cho, after which Marietta sat back with a huff, pushing her auburn curls behind her ears. They looked my way and I hurriedly looked down at my bowl of porridge.
On my way out of the Great Hall and towards Study of Ancient Runes I ran into Felix who was just on his way to breakfast, having the first lesson off. 'You want to meet up for homework after lunch?' He asked, halting in his step, his girlfriend Thora Marple as well as his best friend Peter Hollywood waiting a couple of meters ahead. 'Sure! I have a free class after lunch so I was heading up to the library anyway.' I replied and Felix grinned at me. I smiled back involuntarily. We went our own way again.
Aurora and I sat by the window as we listened to Professor Babbling's lecture on Dalecarlian runes. I looked outside, the view of the grounds was unhindered and I could see the giant squid reach out one of its tentacles and try and swipe at Peeves, who was throwing sticks and stones in its direction. My eyes wandered further. By Hagrid's hut a class of second years were getting taught by Grubbly-Plank. I couldn't tell what creatures she had out from this distance but the kids seemed to be excited by it. At the pitch I could see that the Hufflepuff Team was practising, their yellow robes billowing in the wind as their brooms zoomed over the pitch. I was feeling rather distracted today.
'Ms Wiggleswade, I hope my class isn't boring you?' Professor Babbling's voice interrupted my mindless gazing. I looked back at the front of the room feeling startled. A snicker went through the students. I felt a blush working its way up from my neck to my cheeks. 'No, of course not professor.' I answered quickly. 'Come up to the blackboard and fill out the chart for me then.' She said, motioning for me to come over and I swallowed, my ears burning, standing up. Aurora gave me a pitying glance as I stepped past her.
Luckily I had already studied the subject closely, the periodical Fornvännen table being a basic principle in modern runes. I filled it in hastily, but without making mistakes, and Professor Babbling seemed to be impressed. 'Very well done Ms Wiggleswade, five points to Ravenclaw.' She said before sending me back to my chair.
After Defence Against the Dark Arts and Arithmancy I walked down together with Mathilda and Aurora for lunch. 'I have no more classes this afternoon so I am going to see if Adrian has any plans.' Mathilda said. 'Don't you have about a million essays to start on?' I asked and she rolled her eyes. 'None that can't wait.' She said dismissively. Aurora laughed as we together sat down at the Ravenclaw table. 'Whatever it is you're going to do, I'm envious. We have an hour off after lunch but after that we have to go to to Potions.' Aurora complained. 'It's your own fault for picking Potions.' Mathilda said relentlessly though. 'If you want to get some homework done before class, I'm going to go up to the library with Felix to study and you're free to join.' I offered. Aurora declined however, as did Mathilda. 'Thanks, but I'm just going to hang around a bit I think.' Aurora said.
I quickly finished up my ham sandwich and said goodbye to Mathilda and Aurora before walking over to the Hufflepuff table. I went to stand behind Felix, tapping his shoulder and he looked up inquisitively, smiling when he saw it was me. 'Hey, I'm just on my last bites. Sit with me, will you?' He told me. He pushed aside Raashid Hussain, who was sitting next to him, to make room for me. Raashid grumbled put kept up his conversation with Karl Limpley.
I looked around as I sat down and noticed that Peter Hollywood, Felix' best friend as far as I was aware, wasn't around. Before I could ask, Heidi Macavoy, who sat across from me, had leaned forward. 'Hiya Cecilia.' She greeted me and I greeted her back. I didn't know her very well but the pretty quidditch player and I were on good terms whenever we did talk. 'Weird question, but I didn't notice Eddie over breakfast and now he isn't at lunch either, so I was just wondering whether he was okay.' Heidi asked quietly, her voice low. 'Eddie? Eddie Carmichael?' I asked surprised.
All of a sudden, at Felix' other side, Anthony Rickett got up with a start, almost flipping his plate over. Heidi winced and I felt Felix flinch as well. Rickett stormed off without a word. Heidi looked after him for a moment but then went on as if nothing happened. 'Eddie asked me out to Hogsmeade, you see, but I said no, but just to tease. I just hope that he didn't take it very hard. He isn't avoiding me, is he?' She asked. I blinked, wondering whether I should mention Rickett's strange departure but as no one else said anything I refrained from saying anything myself.
'No, Marcus said he was sick. Has been in bed all day as far as I know.' I reassured Heidi. She looked relieved by the news but said 'Oh, that's unfortunate.' But she had a secret smile on her face as she looked back to her pasty.
When Felix finished his lunch we got up and Felix swung two bags over his shoulder. He said goodbye to his friends and kissed his girlfriend Thora, who sat a little down the table together with a couple of other giggly friends, who all said bye back to him as well as me. I awkwardly waved back. We went out to the Entrance Hall and up the stairs but as I was about to walk into the corridor, in the direction of the library, Felix stopped walking, catching my forearm to stop me.
'I just have to drop off Peter's bag. He asked me to bring it by.' He said, motioning to the two bags hanging off his shoulder. I nodded. 'Then we should.' I said. 'You could wait here if you want, but I just quickly have to run up. I promised I would.' Felix said as we walked on, up the next stairs together. 'I can just as well come with!' I said friendly and he grinned back at me. Once we got to the second floor we went into the direction of the Charms classroom.
'Where is he? I did notice he wasn't at lunch.' I said and Felix shook his head as we rounded the corner as we came to the second floor. 'No, he is in the Gobstones Club. They meet at classroom 22b during lunch every day. Peter doesn't show up each day, by no means, but today he did.' He told me.
We arrived in no time and Felix knocked on the door, sticking his head in and opening it more as he confirmed that it was indeed the right classroom. The desks and chairs were pushed to the walls and the gobstones were set up on the floor, the students all circling the game.
'Peter!' Felix called out. Every head looked up but Peter stood out as he was amongst the oldest in the little club. There seemed to be one seventh year, two I recognized to be fifth years but other than that they were all from lower grades. Peter jumped up and everyone went back to the game. 'Thanks mate!' He whooped as he took his bag from Felix. 'Much appreciated.' He said, slapping his friend on the shoulder. He looked at me.
'Hello Cecilia, are you still hanging out with this flobberworm?' He asked, motioning to Felix. I laughed as Felix elbowed Peter. 'Yes she is, and we're going again so you just focus on your pebbles.' Felix shot back, walking towards the door, pulling me along by the arm. 'They're not pebbles!' Peter called out after us. There was a shriek right after and I turned my head to see a second year getting sprayed in the face with the putrid fluid by one of the gobstones. Felix closed the door behind us.
'Is the Gobstones Club not targeted with that weird new decree?' I asked Felix and Felix nodded. 'Oh yes, it is, but the club representative went to see Umbridge first thing after breakfast and apparently she gave them permission to keep it up.' Felix said as we walked down the stairs again. 'Has Peter been playing gobstones long?' I asked curiously. Gobstones wasn't exactly known as the coolest hobby.
'Apparently he was the Derbyshire county junior champion three years running before he came to Hogwarts.' Felix said with a chuckle. 'He doesn't play much these days but what he tells me he is really good.' He told me and I nodded in consideration. Cool or not, that was fairly impressive.
'Hey, what was that thing about at lunch? Anthony just got up and stormed off?' I asked, remembering Anthony Rickett's strange behaviour. Felix' expression soured. 'You might have heard, but Heidi and Tony broke up a little while ago.' Felix said and I made a noise of understanding. No further explanation needed.
It wasn't busy in the library so we had free choice of seating. We went to sit at a table by the window. We had just pulled our books out of our bags when Felix stood up again. I looked up disturbed to see him walk over to a seventh year Hufflepuff a couple of tables away. I quickly stood up to follow after. When I came in closer I heard him say hello to the boy. He smiled at Felix but seemed to be very much concentrated on the essay in front of him. The scroll of parchment extending beyond the edge of the table and curling back in as it reached the floor. Felix turned to me.
'This here is Sullivan Fawley. He's a year ahead of us.' Felix introduced the tall brown haired boy. Sullivan waved at the mention of his name but furthermore kept his eyes on his essay. 'He has N.E.W.T.'s this year.' Felix explained and I nodded. 'Let's not keep him then.' I suggested and Felix hurriedly agreed. 'See you around Sullivan.' He said to his housemate. See you around. The phrase triggered immediate flashbacks to all the times Fred had said it to me. I quickly shook my head as I sat back down on my chair, pulling my Muggle Studies textbook towards me.
We had been working on our individual essays for just twenty minutes when Felix spoke back up. He seemed to be in a distracted mood. He was constantly looking out the window, humming songs I didn't know (maybe muggle songs?) and tapping his quill against the edge of the wooden table. 'Are you looking forward to the field trip for Muggle Studies?' He asked, leaning forward, his arms on his parchment. I suspected he was muddling up the wet ink quite a bit.
'I hadn't thought about it much.' I said, looking up briefly with a smile. I looked back at my own writing. I finished the sentence, punctuating it with a flourish after but then put my own quill down. 'Are you?' I asked him in return. He nodded, a smile on his lips as well. 'Yeah, a bit, I suppose.' He admitted. 'I mean, that's my world.' He added. 'Or it was for a long time.' He corrected himself. 'You grew up in it.' I agreed.
Felix stared ahead for a couple of moments. 'It's kind of silly how much the secret of magic is protected.' He said after a few seconds. 'Mmmh?' I murmured questioningly. 'I grew up thinking I was a freak.' He told me. I stayed silent. 'I didn't think anybody would ever understand me. My own parents looked at me with this look of..' He fell silent himself. 'Well, I don't know, it was just difficult.' He said dismissively. I looked at him closely.
He was always so cheerful but right now he had an almost sombre contemplative look about him. His fingers were fidgeting with his yellow and black tie and he had his knees pulled up, leaning against the table as he had his chair balancing on the back two legs dangerously. I could tell that he had spent a long time thinking about this subject already.
'And now I'm part of the wizarding community and I'm still not really part of it.' Felix piped up. 'What do you mean?' I asked. 'I mean, part of it is me.' Felix started to clarify. 'I'm six years in and still I come across things and words and conversations and all that, every day, every day I come across these things and I still don't understand them or recognize them.' He said. 'You'll learn with time, Felix.' I reassured him. 'We just had a head start.' I said. Felix smiled back at me appreciatively but he leaned forward again, letting the front legs of his chair snap back down to the floor.
'But-' he stressed '-on the other hand it's not just me.' He shook his head, his loose golden curls shaking around with it. 'Because the wizarding community also treats me like I'm an outsider.' He said. I frowned at him. He laughed at my face. 'Don't worry about it, Cecil.' He finished, but I crossed my legs, looking at him interestedly. 'Outsider? How so?' I asked. He shrugged. 'On shallow things it's all fine, but it's the deeper issues where I always notice that people just talk a certain way..' He said vaguely. 'Well, at least you're clear about your issues.' I said drily and he shot me a sarcastic smile. 'Never mind, Cecilia, it's alright, this wasn't even what I wanted to say.' He said. I looked at him another moment but then let it go. I had no doubt we'd talk about it again sometime.
'Anyway, even now I can't tell my best friends about magic.' Felix said with a laugh. 'Can you imagine James finding out? And Joey and Jack? They wouldn't even write it in their diaries if I told them they couldn't tell anybody.' Felix said and I laughed. 'You did say they were okay with an owl showing up at their windows.' I pointed out and Felix chuckled himself as well. 'Yeah, they were.' He agreed. 'Did I ever tell you that they once got their hands on a bag off hiccough sweets that I had laying around?' He asked and I clapped my hands at the idea, although I looked around right after, seeing if I had disturbed anyone. I had forgotten I was in the library for a minute. I noticed Sullivan Fawley was gone.
'How did you explain?' I asked. 'I wager they don't have hiccoughing charms in the muggle world.' I added and Felix shrugged, smiling at the memory. 'I can't really remember, it was during Christmas in third year, so quite a while ago. They didn't really realize that it was the candy causing the hiccoughs I think.' He explained and I nodded, imagining the three boys I had met over the summer all three of them erupting in violent hiccoughs.
'When I'm seventeen I'm going to work on getting the Three J's permits so they can visit me in the wizarding world. They've deserved it by now to be let in on the secret, I feel.' Felix said and I had to agree with him. I didn't think the wizarding world was in danger if those three boys knew about it.
'What are you going to do when you're seventeen? Done with school and everything?' He asked and I sighed. 'I don't know.' I admitted. 'I want to work at the Ministry but I'm not really sure in what department and what else, you know?' I said and Felix seemed to understand. 'I don't know either.' He said. 'I just know I want to move out as soon as I leave Hogwarts. Get a flat in a wizarding street somewhere.' He told me. 'Why move out right away?' I asked curiously. He shrugged again. 'I love my parents dearly, but they don't understand. They're always worrying about me but they don't know to just let me be.' He mumbled, picking up his quill and proceeding to scratch the back of his neck with the end of it.
'You don't tell your parents enough.' I countered. 'They worry in their ignorance. You need to let a parent parent so to speak. If they don't even know how many houses there are in Hogwarts, how can you expect them to be understanding of this?' I asked and after a moment he nodded. 'That's fair.' He said. 'I still want to move out though.' He said and I laughed. 'And continue making music.' He added.
I looked around the library and saw how little people there were. I commented on the empty state of the room but Felix didn't seem impressed by it. 'Well, it's a Monday afternoon, innit? And right after lunch too. I'm half wondering myself while we're still in here.' Felix joked and I had to admit he had a point. 'Most people are in class probably anyway.' I muttered as I looked at the words I had formulated on the parchment in front of me. 'I better get back to my essay.' I sighed. 'I have Potions class at two-thirty and I'd like to have this finished before then.' Felix locked his mouth with an imaginary key and I smiled at him before looking back down.
It was half an hour till Felix spoke up again. 'It's funny, you got me thinking.' He said and I gave a grunt of acknowledgement as I crossed out my previous sentence in my essay. 'Remember when you came round for dinner at my house this summer? My parents asked you how you liked the Great Gatsby and you mentioned identifying yourself the most with Nick Carraway.' He said and I looked up with a frown, surprised that he would bring this up months later.
I knew the conversation he was talking about. I had finished the book and had come to dinner at his house to bring back the book and borrow another and during dinner we had talked about the Great Gatsby and about my thoughts on it. 'What about it?' I asked Felix.
'Well, I was just thinking that I identify with Jay Gatsby the most myself.' He said and my frown turned into an amused grin. 'Oh really? Do you now, big shot?' I asked and he chuckled. 'Hear me out first, will you.' He said defensively (although I could still see the familiar smile dance around the corners of his lips) and I laid down my quill.
'It's just that Gatsby is new money, isn't he? He grew up poor and he worked hard to become the wealthy man we know him as in the book. But he's trying to be part of a world that doesn't quite accept him. The rich people will hang around with him, but they're old money, being rich is all they've ever known and they'll never see him as one of their own, not really.' He said and as he spoke my grin slipped from my face. 'Is that how you see yourself?' I asked him.
He shrugged, not looking at me but looking at his hands as he fiddled with his quill. After a couple of seconds he laid it down and he closed his book. 'I think I'm done with my essay. If you need help with Muggle Studies you can ask me Friday in class.' He said, shooting a brief smile at me, standing up and gathering his things, but as he made to walk past me towards the exit, I grabbed his wrist. 'Felix, stop, sit down.' I said, kicking out the chair next to mine and motioning for him to take it.
He sighed but relented, falling down on it rather dramatically. 'Why would you say that about yourself?' I questioned him as I laid down my own quill, which I didn't realize I was still holding. 'Are you talking about you being muggleborn?' I added. Felix put his elbows on the edge of the table with a groan. 'I didn't mean it all so gravely.' He said but I could tell he was trying to make light of it. 'Oh stop it already Felix, your feelings matter, alright? You can tell me.' I said.
He chuckled but then sat back again. 'I really don't want to get into it now, Cecilia. It's a really big subject and we don't have much time.' He said and although his words were dismissive, his voice was warm and his soft smile was kind. 'It's actually almost time for your next class.' He put in after a quick glance at the clock at the back wall. I smiled back. 'Don't forget to tell me sometime, yeah?' I reminded him and his smile widened and he reached forward to pet my hand, the one still resting beside my quill. 'I'll keep that in mind.' He said with a laugh.
'So is there a Daisy in your life too?' I said jokingly. His smile didn't leave his face but his brow did furrow. 'A Daisy?' He asked surprised. 'Yeah, like in the Great Gatsby.' I clarified. 'Gatsby was madly in love with Daisy and Daisy was never fully committed. Caught up in her own world and her own people, as you would say I suppose.' I said, referring to his earlier words. 'Old-money-Daisy never even seriously considers leaving old-money-Tom even though he treats her terribly and new-money-Gatsby will do anything for her.' I was laughing gently but it quickly died off as I saw his suddenly serious face. 'Felix?' I said nervously. He looked at me.
Suddenly I was hyper aware of everything that was happening. His hand was still on mine and his light brown eyes were studying me closely. I could see a couple of Hufflepuff fifth years sifting through the shelves at the end of the library over Felix' shoulder, a couple of bookcases over a Slytherin seventh year was sitting with a book in his hands but his head lolled back as he snored softly and I knew Madam Pince was buried in a romance novel at her desk by the entrance. But as Felix had said; it was right after lunch and on top of that it was a Monday. People had class and those with a free hour had no interest in sitting in the library. We were practically alone.
'You know what!' I cried out a bit too loudly, waking up the Slytherin who sprung to attention, dropping his book to the ground. Madam Pince gave out a piercing shush but I didn't mind it as I yanked my hand out from underneath Felix' hand and stood up. 'We'll go over the essay questions once more in class Friday, okay?' I confirmed, not looking up at him as I felt his eyes bore in me. 'Cecilia..' Felix murmured, his words trailing off. 'Friday!' I simply replied, voice a bit shrill, before escaping the library while swinging my bag over my shoulders.
All through Potions my head wasn't with the subject. Aurora had to keep stopping me from almost throwing in wrong ingredients and after class she hissed at me; 'What got into you all of a sudden?' but I couldn't answer her, just quickening my pace as we walked up to the Ravenclaw Tower to drop off our bags before dinner. I barely understood myself what had happened really. Why did I ask such a stupid question to begin with? Who could be "his Daisy" besides his bloody girlfriend Thora anyway? But then the atmosphere had gotten so strangely tense out of nowhere and I hadn't know what to do with it at all. What a mess. I felt so embarrassed.
I thought back to the Yule Ball. It all felt so long ago, but Felix had tried to kiss me that evening. We hadn't spoken about it afterwards but I had assumed it was just a silly mistake, him reading the mood wrong, but what if it was more than that for him? I shook my head as we arrived in our dormitory. I put down my bag and sat down on my own bed for a little bit, processing my thoughts. It couldn't be, right? I would've noticed. I would've noticed something, but he was never more than a great friend to me. Understanding, cheerful, amiable, kind. But why did he ask me to the Yule Ball in the first place? We didn't see each other outside of class at all before then. I said yes because I was just happy that I didn't have to go alone so I never questioned it, even after the dance when we became friends.
I sighed, getting up again and going into the small bathroom. I ran the tap and splashed water in my face, quickly washing my face before turning off the faucet again. I looked in the mirror. Who would like me anyway? I wondered as I studied my reflection. My dull brown eyes were nothing special, neither was my hair; a dishwater blonde collection of sleek wispy strands. I was a bit taller than average probably, a bit too skinny for my own liking. But most of all, I was an introverted nerd. I wasn't exciting or fun, I didn't have any jokes or interesting anecdotes, none of that. That Fred, as minimally as it sometimes felt, would come seek my company was barely credible to me, but he seemed to enjoy teasing me.
'Cecil, I'm going to see if I can find Mathilda but will go down to dinner after. I didn't have much for lunch so I'm starving! Besides, Marietta is waiting to go over the Defence Against the Dark Arts chapters with me.' Aurora called from the dorm and I yelled that I'd be down soon as well. I heard the dormitory door close. I looked back in the mirror.
I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself. Mathilda would skewer me if she found out I was having these kinds of thoughts. I had been doing relatively good for quite a while. I knew my self-confidence wasn't great and that I wasn't always fair on myself. Mathilda would always pick me up after, dust me off, tell me that she wouldn't argue with me about it, that I was a fantastic person. Every form of modesty or protest would be disregarded. I let out a small chuckle.
As if she knew I was thinking of her, the dormitory door opened again and I heard Mathilda humming an old song by Spellbound. She came to stand in the doorway of the bathroom. 'Hello there.' She said with a smile. 'You look a bit off, are you alright?' She asked. 'Just washing my face.' I explained, motioning to the tap. 'Aurora just went out to find you, didn't you see her?' I questioned but Mathilda shrugged. 'I must've just missed her.' She said simply.
She came into the bathroom and sat down on the closed lid of the toilet. I saw her looking at me through the mirror. 'What did you do today? You were off after Arithmancy this morning, right?' I asked. She nodded, leaning back self-satisfied. 'Off since lunch indeed!' She exclaimed. 'I hung out with Adrian most of the day. We went out to the pitch and he flew me around on his broom.' She told me. 'Is that a euphemism?' I asked jokingly and Mathilda let out a loud "ha!", raising her leg and kicking my butt playfully. I turned around, leaning against the sink, laughter bubbling up in my throat.
'Apart from a little snog in the changing room, nothing of that kind went on, no.' Mathilda elaborated. After a few moments she looked at me inquisitively. 'Did you and Fred ever..? You know?' She prodded and I flushed. 'Uhm, no, we didn't.' I answered, feeling flustered. 'I would tell you, wouldn't I?' I pointed out but Mathilda raised her eyebrows. 'I tell you more than you tell me.' She said to me. I tried to disagree but she held up both her hands. 'How about just now, when I said that you looked off and asked if you were alright?' She asked. 'What about it?' I responded defensively. 'I am alright.'
Mathilda looked at me sceptically. 'You're not doubting yourself again, are you? You've been doing so well since the O.W.L.'s.' She said. I straightened myself indignantly. 'I'm not a child, Tilda.' I said, feeling a bit annoyed. 'Then why is it so hard for you to just tell me that you are not alright?' Mathilda asked me. I bit my tongue.
'Okay, I wasn't alright, it's true! I was going through my self-pity routine, but before you came in I had already told myself to snap out of it so I don't need you to rub it in as well.' I said heatedly. Mathilda nodded understandingly. 'I know, I know. I'm just worried about you because I care.' She said. Most of the frustration left my body at those words and I went to sit down on the floor, next to her, leaning against the warm pipes that ran along the wall towards the shower.
'It's okay. It's nice that you care enough to worry.' I told her. She chuckled. 'Rationally I know that you're much smarter than me and that it makes no sense for me to worry about you, but emotionally I can do nothing but worry.' Mathilda answered. I reached out for her hand, squeezing is tightly. 'What a coincidence.' I remarked. 'I do nothing but worry about you either.' I said, only half joking, deciding to not comment on her own insecurity issues.
'So you and Fred never shagged?' Asked Mathilda and I elbowed her. 'Okay, okay!' Mathilda gave up with a laugh. 'And you and Adrian? I always kind of assumed.' I replied and she nodded. 'This summer for the first time.' She said with a soft smile. 'Why didn't you tell me then?' I asked and she laughed. 'Turning the tables, are we?' She said but then she stretched her legs.
'I don't know, after Andy you kind of made known that you didn't need to hear about that.' She said. Andrew Cleveley had been Mathilda's previous boyfriend. And first boyfriend for that matter. He was a Gryffindor boy in our year. They had been together for only a little under five months at the end of fourth year and two months into the relationship Mathilda had burst into the dormitory on a Sunday morning, cast a silencing charm on my bed and had crawled under the blankets with me after she proceeded to detail her and Andy's exploits of the night before.
I had squirmed, I had complained, I had made faces, I had told her to keep it to herself. But who could blame me? Mathilda was far advanced in the ways of the world relative to me. We only differed about a month but at that point she was having sex with her boyfriend after class and I was still a year away from even getting my first kiss. I was not ready for any of the words she used.
'I want to hear everything you want to tell me, Tilda.' I said. She opened her mouth with a mischievous glint in her eyes and I waved my hands. 'Okay, maybe not everything.' I corrected and she laughed. We sat in the bathroom for a long time after. Matilda gave me a vague and implicit description of her first time with Adrian, which turned out to be the day of her birthday party, at his house. He had given her the gold coloured robes as a gift and she had kissed him and one thing came after another and the two had ended up in his bed soon after.
In return I told her about the weird atmosphere with Felix in the library before Potions. 'That's why I was a bit off. I was just fretting about Felix a bit.' I told her. Mathilda furrowed her eyebrows in thought. 'You don't think he's had a crush on you since the Yule Ball, do you?' Wondered Mathilda. I shook my head. I had in fact wondered it but as soon as she said it out loud I realized how ridiculous that was. 'No, we've been good friends but nothing ever happened that would lead me to believe that he was feeling something more. And he told me he is very happy with his girlfriend.' Mathilda looked at me questioningly. 'Thora Marple, from Hufflepuff.' I told her. 'Black hair?' She asked and I nodded. 'Yeah, short with black hair.' I agreed.
'I saw them snogging next to the greenhouses, I think, just a couple of weeks ago.' She chuckled. I chuckled too. 'He mentioned that they did that a lot.' I supplied and Mathilda guffawed. 'Oh young love!' She orated. She stood up. 'How about getting ourselves some dinner? We've been in here a while.' She said and I nodded, rigidly standing up from the bathroom floor, the tiles hard against my bottom. 'I've sat in the bathroom for quite enough time.' I agreed.
According to the alarm clock on my bedside table it was already nearly seven. 'We were in there for well over an hour.' I exclaimed. 'Time flies.' Mathilda said disinterestedly. We walked down from the dormitory, crossing the common room and exiting through the front door. We made our way down the tower. We chatted about useless, simple subjects and I noted that I felt lighter than I had felt since the beginning of the school year. What a good conversation could do.
Down in the Entrance Hall I came across a welcome sight before Mathilda and I went into the Great Hall. Right next to the grand staircase it was Felix who had Thora pressed against the bannister, kissing her deeply. I elbowed Mathilda, pointing out the couple, barely containing my laughter. 'It looked much like that by the greenhouses.' She whispered and I had to put my hand in front of my mouth in order to not emit a noise and attract their attention. Giggling we paced into the Hall.
'I'll be with you guys in just a bit, I'm just going to make some snide remarks to Adrian real quick, okay?' Mathilda said, running down the pathway between the tables. I grinned after her for a moment before shaking my head and walking on to sit next to Aurora at our own table. She looked up in surprise. 'You were quite a while, weren't you?' She commented. I nodded, ladling boiled potatoes onto the empty plate in front of me. 'Yeah, so I'm pretty hungry now!' I said, grabbing the string beans from a little down the table, apologizing to the third year to my right who blushed and didn't say anything.
'Are you alright now?' Aurora asked and I smiled at her. 'I'm feeling perfectly alright, in fact.' I informed her. 'So Mathilda found you then?' Aurora questioned and I nodded. 'Yeah, right after you left the dormi..-' I paused, putting down the beans. 'Wait, what do you mean?' I asked. 'Mathilda just came into the common room when I left and I told her that you had been acting weird during Potion class. She said she'd talk to you.' Aurora said, as she was soaking up some left over gravy on her plate with a piece of bread.
Mathilda had said that she hadn't seen Aurora. I looked behind me, down the aisle. I saw her sit at the Slytherin table, her fingers tickling Adrian's neck as he tried to push her off in annoyance, attempting to take a bite of his food despite her hindrance. I smiled at her.
Mathilda was a treasure.
I'm looking forward to your reviews!
ALSO: I'm hoping to include at least one major FredxCecilia scene before Christmas (in this story's Christmas time, not in reality hehe) and it's one of the few things I haven't thought or written out yet so that's an opportunity for you guys! If you have any kind of ideas or fantasies or whatever that you'd like to see play out... Let me know! Preferably something fun and light hearted - worthy of a Weasley twin.
And any thoughts on this chapter? Cho and Marietta went their own way in Hogsmeade to a certain meeting and less than two days later there's a new educational decree? Haha, what could it be? Felix and Cecilia had an awkward encounter. But other than that, how was the conversation? I think the sociological inequalities between muggles and wizards are really interesting. Thoughts? And how are you finding Mathilda?