There it is. The chapter we've all been waiting for. Oh boy, I'm nervous. Stay posted for the notes at the end.
In the meantime, happy reading and PLEASE don't forget to review. This is killing me..!
CHAPTER 34
'So, Ms Wiggleswade, how have you been doing over the past months? You dropped a few classes so I just wanted to check in and see how that was.' Professor Flitwick said. It was only the first day of classes since the holidays but the professor had sent over a note during breakfast to meet him in his office over lunch to talk about my course load.
I smiled, shrugging sheepishly. 'It's been alright. Dropping the classes was probably a good idea.' I admitted. 'It's given me more time to study for other classes.' I added. The professor nodded fondly. 'Yes, I've noticed a definite increase in your grades.' He said. 'You still have a lot of classes for a N.E.W.T. student.' He orated. 'But you seem to be handling them well.' He finished. I couldn't help but agree with him. 'Thank you, sir.' I answered him modestly. 'Now hop on off to lunch, yes?' The professor said and I nodded complacently. 'Yes, sir.' I answered.
The halls were empty as I walked through them, everyone being downstairs in the Great Hall, having lunch. It's not where I was going though. I was headed in the direction of the library. I was supposed to meet Felix and his best friend Peter there to study. I passed a painting of a fierce witch riding the back of an ugly Acromantula who followed me down a couple of flights of stairs, disrupting the inhabitants of various other paintings on the way, all screaming in terror at the giant spider stomping through their frames, until eventually getting stopped by a troupe of wizards carrying rolled up newspapers.
'Over here, Cecil!' Felix called out when I entered the library, only to be immediately shushed by Madam Pince. He smiled at her apologetically while she disapprovingly adjusted her glasses before focussing back on the filing of her cabinet. I sat down with him and Peter who both greeted me in whispers.
'How is it? How was your holiday?' Asked Peter pleasantly as I unpacked my Arithmancy book. Felix had been reading the paper and Peter had Spellbound magazine in front of him. They must not be that busy yet. We on the other hand had had our first Arithmancy class of 1996 just before lunch started and were already buried in homework.
'It was nice.' I answered dully. 'You?' I asked in return and Peter dramatically threw his hands in the air. 'Well, a certain someone got my best mate an owl for Christmas and I was forced to endure an absolute barrage of letters all of the Christmas holidays!' He complained in a whisper and I felt heat rush to my cheeks, although my lips broke into a grin. 'Sorry about that.' I apologized waggishly. Felix' ears had turned red but his grin was as big as mine. 'Don't rag on Owlbert! I got to send letters to all my housemates.' He simply said and Peter chuckled, although he put on a face of suffering right after.
Before any of us could add anything else, two more people sat with us at our table. Cho and Marietta had annoyed looks on their faces and opened up their Defence Against the Dark Arts textbooks with big yawns, consequently setting us off on yawns too. 'I'd rather sit through three hours of History of Magic than another hour of Umbridge's boring drivel. Why even make us do an essay on the stupid chapter if we spend all class reading it already anyway?' Marietta complained without greeting us. 'Quite.' I answered amused. She shot me a quick smile. 'Is that the essay from this morning?' Asked Peter. We shared Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Hufflepuffs.
'Yes, we figured we'd get it out of the way right away.' Cho replied. Peter closed the Spellbound magazine he had been lazily pawing through earlier. 'I think I'll join in on that.' He opted as he bent down to grab his own textbook from his bag under the table. 'Our next Defence Against the Dark Arts class is not until Thursday..!' Felix argued against doing the homework, Peter ignoring his words as he flipped through the pages of the book. 'I'll find time tomorrow or something.' Felix added. I raised my left eyebrow at him with amusement but he shrugged at me, looking back down at the Daily Prophet he was reading. I concentrated on my Arithmancy homework.
At a bit past two Aurora came by to pick me up. We'd go down to the dungeons together for our double Potions class and she brought me a pasty as I had skipped lunch. 'Thanks Rory.' I said in between bites after we had said goodbye to my study-buddies. She ignored my gratitude as she thoughtfully pulled her bag further up her shoulders. 'Does Cho seem different to you?' She asked me. 'Cho?' I asked as we walked down the corridor. 'Different how?'
Aurora took a moment as we waited on top of the stairs for them to move back to their original position so we could pass down the right corridor. 'She seems happier.' She said eventually. I tried to think back but found it hard to see what Aurora saw. 'What makes you think so?' I questioned instead. 'I know that it's only a couple of days since we got back but I haven't seen her cry at all, or the thing where she hides that she was crying but her eyes are still super red or the fact that she has been recently just wolfing down all her meals while before the holidays she never ate anymore and..-' Aurora listed and I laughed, elbowing her. 'Alright, alright, I get it!' I surrendered. 'Yeah, maybe she does seem a bit more chipper than she has been since.. Well, you know.' I admitted. I didn't need to explicitly say it for Aurora to know that I meant the events before the summer.
Aurora was not wrong though. Cho had stopped listlessly moving the food around her plate to make it appear like she ate something and it wasn't until I saw her back after the holidays that I realised how thin she had gotten but being home for Christmas must've done her good. She looked healthy again. 'What do you think changed?' I asked Aurora. Aurora shrugged.
'Maybe she just decided to move on.' She said, although she sounded unconvinced of her own theory. I didn't blame her. Cho had been absolutely devastated by Cedric's death. For her to move on just like that was slightly unbelievable. 'Yeah, maybe.' I just said though.
Cho wasn't the only one who was different. Mathilda had not talked about her fight with her dad at all since the letter she sent me. She hadn't mentioned her father, or her mother for that matter, she hadn't told me what had been the effect of the argument and I found it hard to bring up the subject. She was so good at making conversations run as she wanted them. Demanding answers from her about something she was so reluctant to discuss was intimidating to me. I had considered telling Aurora about it, she was our friend after all, but at the same time I knew that Mathilda and I were closer (although it made me feel a little guilty thinking about it) and that Mathilda wouldn't want Aurora to know. I was almost surprised Mathilda told me at all, knowing how intimate emotions were to my best friend. I said nothing to Aurora as we made our way to Potions.
I was particularly hungry that night at dinner, only having had the pasty Aurora brought me since I left breakfast that morning, so I filled up my plate with mashed potatoes and gravy, scooping some string beans on the side. 'You shouldn't skip meals, Cecil.' Mathilda lectured me as she sat down in front of me. I ignored her words as I pricked some carrots on my fork from the dish just down the table from me, awkwardly leaning across a third year's bowl of soup. 'Sorry.' I murmured at the blushing boy. 'What did you do all afternoon?' I asked Mathilda as I leaned back in my seat.
'Spent the afternoon with Adrian by the quidditch pitch.' Mathilda answered. 'He got a new broom for Christmas so he was eager to show it off.' She said, a bored look on her face. 'Nice.' I commented non-committedly. Neither of us were interested in sports much.
Mathilda clapped her hands. 'Anyway, do you want to get a head start on our Arithmancy homework this evening?' She asked and I swallowed my bite before answering. 'I've already finished it.' I said. Mathilda frowned. 'But we were only assigned it just before lunch!' She said in a strangely accusing manner (how dare I finish my homework without her!). 'You know I skipped lunch.' I pointed out. 'And I had a free period between lunch and Potions.' I added. 'Yes, but you had a meeting with Professor Flitwick as well.' Mathilda argued. I shrugged. 'I don't know what to tell you, I've done it already. But I can sit with you while you do yours. I wanted to start on my Potions prep for next class early anyway.' I told her.
Mathilda slumped her shoulders. 'I suppose I'll try and find out the answers all by myself then.' She sighed and I laughed. 'What a hard life you lead.' I mocked her and she shot me a foul look. After a few moments (in which I shoved a couple of more spoon-fulls of mash in my mouth) she looked at me calculatingly before taking a sip of her pumpkin juice. 'I know you want to work for the Ministry, but why have you never considered becoming, like, an Arithmantist, or whatever? It's your best subject.' She said as she put her goblet back down on the table.
I flushed red. 'First of all, it's called an Arithmancer, not an Arithmantist. Second of all, there's only a career in Arithmancy when you're proper good. Like, the best. I'm no Lukas Karuzos.' I admitted and Mathilda huffed. 'I'll pretend to know who he is for the benefit of this conversation and tell you that, Merlin yes, you're obviously as good as he is. Or you're going to be anyway.' She said and I let out a laugh. 'Don't be ridiculous.' I said, focussing back on my plate. Mathilda wasn't done with me.
'You're giving up on yourself before you've even given yourself a fair chance.' She said to me, leaning forward, both her hands flat on the table on either side of her own plate. I glanced back up at her. 'One of your most annoying traits literally is getting super passionate about something you literally just thought of.' I told her, only half joking. 'Doesn't mean it isn't true.' Mathilda shot back. I was about to say something else but she interrupted me. 'I'm only saying, think about it. Not for me, but for you. Just be sure that you want to work for the Ministry because it's what you'd like to do, not because you don't think you're good enough for something else.' Mathilda suggested and I couldn't find fault with that, although I tried. 'I'll think about it.' I promised reluctantly, although I doubted I'd think about it again. Mathilda offered up a cheeky grin that betrayed she felt like she won, despite the lack of competition. I glanced to my left and spotted Cho down the table. She was stuffing mashed potatoes into her mouth as she animatedly talked to her friends from the quidditch team.
The next morning was an unusual one. Not only did I oversleep, but so did Marietta so when we ran into the Charms classroom, sweaty and puffy-eyed, our normal seating partners were taken. Cho and Aurora were sitting together and Mathilda was sitting with her ex-boyfriend Andy Cleveley from Gryffindor. They shot us apologetic glances and I heard Marietta murmur that she'd "murder" Cho for not waking her up, but we sat down at the open seats at the front, expressing our remorse to our Head of House (who honestly didn't seem all that hung up about it – he didn't even take points).
We hurriedly unpacked our quill, ink and parchment while Professor Flitwick picked up his lecture where he left off before we barged in. 'So, we're the Desk Dorks stuck at the front row now, aren't we?' Marietta muttered to me and I snickered. 'We'll survive one class.' I whispered back to her. 'Physically, yes. But our reputation will plummet if word gets out we sat in front like proper teachers' pets.' She joked, intentionally being overly dramatic. I chuckled, stifling it as I looked up at our professor. He hadn't noticed our lapse in focus. 'I'm sure us coming in late will balance it all out. We're still rebellious rogues in the face of the school.' I assured her, playing along, and she let out a laugh.
'Ms Edgecombe, I'll let it slide that you sauntered into my classroom ten minutes late but I'll expect you to make it up to me by behaving exemplary for the rest of class at the very least!' Professor Flitwick reprimanded her and Marietta was quick to apologise. 'It won't happen again, sir, I'm very sorry.' She said and after the professor looked down at her from where he was standing on top of his stack of books with pursed lips and a frown, he went on with explaining the relevance of turning vinegar into wine. 'I think you grovelling like that probably undid the cool-factor we built by "sauntering" in late.' I whispered to Marietta and I saw she bit her bottom lip to keep herself from laughing out loud, hiding her face behind her auburn curls.
Although we didn't talk again for the rest of class, it was nice sitting with Marietta again. Due to Cho's issues, Marietta spent most of her time with her these days, or since the summer really, and didn't hang around with us as much anymore. They hung out with just the two of them and they'd disappear sometimes to unknown places in the castle before coming back to the common room and whispering about secrets no one else could know about. We were never great friends, but we had shared a room for nearly six years at this point. It was hard not to grow fond of one another.
'I'm glad that when they'll mention the Desk Dorks in gossip, it's going to be about us two together.' Marietta said when class was over and we packed up our stuff. I smiled. 'I'll see you at dinner, Marietta.' I said. She said goodbye and went over to Cho who sheepishly rubbed her neck while standing next to Aurora. I heard her grumble 'And you thought it was a good idea to just let me be late for what reason?'
Unlike Cho, Mathilda had an answer ready despite me not even asking for one. 'You know I wake early and we had a free hour first period so I went down for breakfast and when you weren't there by the time class was almost starting I just figured you'd just meet us in the classroom and by the time I realised you weren't, it was too late.' She threw up the words as if it was physically hurting not to say them. 'Relax Tilda, I'm not mad. I had fun sitting with Marietta.' I reassured her.
'Oh..!' She said, a bit surprised. 'Well, that's good.' She said after a beat. 'You had a better time than me at least. Who knew that sitting next to your ex-boyfriend in class was a bad idea?' She asked and I didn't answer her because I could tell it was rhetorical anyway. On the way to lunch, she told me all about how Andy talked badly about Adrian to her and that she ended up threatening to hex his mouth off when he wouldn't quit it.
The week went by slowly and the more time passed since the moment I got back to Hogwarts, the slower it seemed to go. I was feeling anxious. More so every day. Fred had made no move yet. I saw him sitting at the Gryffindor table with his friends and family during meals and sometimes we'd cross each other's paths as we both headed to our classes, but he had said nothing yet, barely looking at me as he passed me (although I could see his eyes swiftly move to me and away again).
I didn't know what would happen when I came back to Hogwarts, what I had expected; I hadn't really thought about it very deeply but somehow I had expected that I'd know immediately. That we'd see each other and he'd either tell me that he wanted to be with me or that he didn't. Not this. I was shy, not at all confrontational, but I was going so stir-crazy that I would've gone up to him myself by now if Warrington hadn't specifically told me not to do that.
When Saturday rolled around I got up early and found a corner in one of the study halls. Ideally I'd have all my homework finished by the end of today, keeping my mind occupied and off Fred, so I'd have all of Sunday off to relax with Mathilda and Aurora. I went over my homework planner, making a mental list of what I still needed to do and what I was planning on starting on. I had already prepped my work for Potions class for Monday, so I could cross that off the list, Defence Against the Dark Arts as well; those essays you could almost copy from the textbook word by word and get an O on from Umbridge. What was left was Arithmancy, Muggle Studies, Study of Ancient Runes and my French assignment for Aurora.
I decided to start with my favourite, Arithmancy. It was something that came to me easily and made sense to me somehow. It was exact and precise and although difficult, if you did it right there were no blurry lines or grey areas. There were different interpretations of the same thing but it would always fit like with a big complicated puzzle.
I was startled by Felix when he sat down across from me. 'Are you doing homework?' He asked after greeting me and I nodded, turning a page in my textbook. 'What subject?' He prodded on. 'Arithmancy.' I replied, scratching out a few calculations on my notes. I tickled my nose with the end of my goose feather quill while I thought. 'What's the case with Arithmancy? I know it has something to do with foretelling the future or something?' He asked. I kept reading as I answered him absentmindedly. 'I mean, yeah, something like that. Sort of. A bit.' I said vaguely. He hummed. 'I didn't pick Arithmancy. I knew it had something to do with numbers so I didn't take it because I was scared it was going to be like maths.' He told me and I looked up momentarily, curious. 'Maths? What's that?' I asked in return. He just waved his hands. 'Don't get me started.' He joked. I smiled, looking back at my notes.
After a few moments, I put my quill down. 'Arithmancy can be a little bit like Divination, in some aspects.' I told him. 'Each number represents a meaning and when you reduce people and events and dates, and all that, down to their number you can figure out what's happened, what's going to happen and why it's happening.' I said. I wrote down a simple numbers chart on a scrap piece of parchment for him, turning it around so he could see.
'You see, so the letters of the alphabet are assigned to a number. Your numbers would be "seven", "five" and "two".' I told him. He was frowning slightly and didn't seem to fully get it but he was nodding along interestedly so I went on. 'Let's start with your social number first. That's the "two" in your case, the Moon number. It's supposed to show your outer personality, so the way you present and carry yourself and the relationship you share with others, alright?' I told him and he nodded. 'Alright..' He agreed. 'So the two fits you very well actually! Twos are good communicators and they are fair and good-natured, loyal and kind.' I said and Felix flushed completely red. 'You're just having a laugh now, aren't you?' He said and I laughed.
'I promise you, I'm not.' I said. 'I haven't told you about the duality of twos yet though. It also represents the contrast between two opposites. Night and day, good and evil, that sort of thing. I feel it probably refers to your muggle and wizard sides in your case.' I told him. 'The rift between the two causes insecurity.' I circled the two on the parchment. 'That's just my theory though.'
Felix was quiet for a bit and I was worried I might have frightened him off but then he chuckled airily. 'And that's just my social number?' He asked and I laughed. 'Yeah, just that one. Only the social number.' I affirmed. He groaned. 'Save the others for another time, will you?' He suggested and I agreed with a chortle. 'Arithmancy is heavy stuff.' I grinned.
Someone had turned on a wireless set a couple of tables down and a quiet tune drifted our way. Felix gently tapped his fingers on the table along to the beat and it put me in a soothing rhythm as I wrote down the last of my calculations. 'I got an answer from the Ministry, by the way.' Felix piped up. 'About the Three J's status regarding the Anti-Muggle decree.' He added. I looked up in interest. 'Really! What do they say?' I exclaimed. 'Not much. Just a confirmation that they received my paperwork.' He answered. He hummed along to the melody of the song in the background. 'It's going to take a while I think. They average somewhere between five to nine months in processing time.' He told me. I groaned. 'That's ages! Bureaucracy is the worst.' I said lamely and he chuckled. 'It's worth it if they can get to know this world.' He said. It once again struck me how different our life experiences must be really.
'Jinesh Patel from High Wycombe wants to finally start sorting out his socks based on colour this Leap Day. Way to make a once every four year holiday boring, Jinesh!' The WWN host said on the wireless and I realised that the song had ended and a chat show had come on. 'Here's another one from Martha Myrkle from Shanklin on the Isle of Wight. She asks help with quitting her addiction to the Euphoria Elixer which she's planning to quit this Leap Day. That's more like it Martha!' The voice of another host said over the wireless.
'Do you think Hufflepuff still has a chance at the cup?' Asked Felix, clearly paying no attention to the wireless, and I glanced up. 'I don't know.' I said honestly. The Hufflepuff quidditch team had lost quite spectacularly to Ravenclaw back in November, a few weeks after the Gryffindor-Slytherin game. 'We'd have to win against both Gryffindor and Slytherin.' Felix said thoughtfully. 'Sounds good.' I answered absentmindedly as I continued with my homework. In the meantime the wireless set a couple of tables away kept murmuring on.
'And listeners, please, although we enjoy all the new names you've been sending in, we would like to re-remind you that Lorcan d'Eath will not actually appear on the WWN and take up a new stage name. But what commitment you've all shown! Since the beginning of last week we've received hundreds of owls!'
Peter joined us at our table that afternoon, having brought his studying materials. 'Don't you have your music extra-curricular starting soon?' He asked Felix as he unpacked. Felix shook his head. 'Nah, they aren't starting back up till next weekend.' He told him. 'Then shouldn't you be buckling down as well?' Peter pushed and Felix shrugged apathetically. Peter turned to me.
'Has he just been sitting here all morning?' He asked and I blushed, also shrugging. Peter turned back to Felix. 'Mate, we made a deal!' He cried out and Felix groaned. 'Alright, alright, lend me a spare quill, will you?' He said soothingly. He caught my frown. 'We promised each other to keep each other on track with homework. We got behind a bit before the holidays.' He explained. 'A bit!?' Peter said. 'More than a bit! We had about six essays to finish within a single night.' Peter grumbled.
After that we indeed buckled down and worked hard for the rest of the day. I managed to finish my homework for Arithmancy and Studies of Ancient Runes, had a good beginning on my Muggle Studies work and I had started on my French assignments as well but quickly realised that I had too many questions and that I'd just ask Aurora when I saw her next. I yawned, feeling like I deserved a break.
I looked up and around me. The students who had brought the wireless had left but the study hall was all but quiet as people chatted and moved about. Peter was still bent over his Charms homework but Felix was chewing on the end of his wand as he was staring out the window. 'Are you ready for a break too?' I asked him and he shook his head as if he was waking up before looking at me. 'So ready.' He said. Peter glanced up from his parchment briefly, looking back down right after, dipping his quill into his ink.
'Is Owlbert nice to you? He doesn't seem to like me all that much.' I asked Felix. Felix laughed. 'He is a bit grouchy, that's for sure.' He agreed. 'He doesn't even let me pet him!' I confessed with a laugh and he grinned at me, amusement evident. 'That's because he loves me too much.' He said and I chuckled. 'So he lets you pet him?' I asked. 'Well, not yet!' He admitted and I started coughing as I tried to suppress my further delight. 'But I feel like I'm wearing him down.' Felix added.
'Why's a bird that expensive in such a foul mood, all the time? I think you should get your money back, Cecilia.' Peter spoke up from being bent over his parchment and we turned to him. 'Yeah, maybe I should.' I joked and I expected Felix to join in but when I looked at him he had a confused look on his face, although he was still grinning. 'What do you mean with "a bird that expensive"?' He asked.
'I mean an owl like that, that can't have been less than fifteen Galleons at least.' Peter said. 'It's a bit comical that it's so mean-spirited.' He explained and Felix laughed. Peter frowned. 'What's funny?' He asked and Felix stopped laughing. 'I mean, it can't have been that expensive, can it?' He pointed out with a humoured smile and he looked at me for confirmation but I didn't say anything, looking down hurriedly. I felt the blood rushing to my face. 'Can it?' He asked again and I shrugged. 'Come on Cecil, it can't have.' He said and I looked back up momentarily.
'It's the owl we saw at the pet shop.' I told him. 'What?' He asked flabbergasted. 'Owlbert. He's the same one as the one that we saw when we went with Peter to the pet shop in Hogsmeade. You liked that one, didn't you?' I asked and for a moment Felix looked lost for words. 'But..!' He stuttered. 'That was, what was it? 20 Galleons!?' He exclaimed and I shrugged.
'Are you mad!?' Felix called out. I was getting a bit upset with him. 'I just wanted to buy you an owl you liked, alright!' I said and Felix let out a laugh. 'I would've liked any owl you bought me, silly!' He argued and I huffed, standing up and picking up my books. 'Well, unfortunately I got you this one.' I said, sticking my nose up and turning on my heels. I heard him scramble up from his seat behind me as I stalked out of the study hall.
'Cecilia, wait up!' He called out and after a deep breath I did stop walking and waited for him to catch up. He had left his stuff with Peter and his tie slung around his neck carelessly. 'I didn't mean to sound ungrateful.' He said when he stood in front of me. I shrugged with a sigh. 'No, you didn't, you're right. It's a ridiculous amount of money.' I agreed. 'I don't know what possessed me to buy it.' I said. He laughed. 'I'm happy you did. I love Owlbert.' He assured me and I smiled, a hot blush in my cheeks. 'It's just that I saw you look at that owl specifically when we were in the pet shop and I know you would've been happy with any owl, but it's just, I don't know..' I tried to explain myself poorly but he smiled. 'It's okay, I get it.' He said and after a second of hesitance he surprised me by stepping forward and embracing me, enveloping me into his arms.
I gripped him tightly though, swinging my arms around his lanky frame, not knowing why I felt so let down by my own feelings. I wanted to buy the stupid owl for him but him getting so startled over the gold it had cost me had startled me as well. It was too much, way too much. What must he think? But I was being too emotional, there was no need for me to feel like an idiot. Felix didn't think less of me.
The hug didn't last long, both to my disappointment and relief. 'Thanks Felix.' I said when he let go of me again, feeling a bit hot around the collar. 'I forgive you for buying me a far too expensive Christmas gift.' He joked, putting on a snooty voice. He was red in the face as well. I laughed, hitting his shoulder weakly with my balled up fist. 'You want to come back and study?' He asked but I shook my head. 'No, I should be getting back to the common room anyway. I have some questions about my French assignments to ask Aurora.' I told him. He nodded. 'I'll see you after the weekend then.' He said. We said goodbye and parted ways.
I took a detour through the Charms corridor to get back to the Ravenclaw Tower. Not for any other reason than the fact that I liked having a bit of a walk. I felt lighter by my small heart to heart with Felix. I wasn't sure why but now it was gone I realised that I had definitely been feeling heavy and moody before, but now my step was springier and my shoulders unburdened. I strolled down the hallway, passing through the large doorway at the end to get to the staircases, going up them with a relaxed ease, ignoring the jeers of the portraits of drunk wizards who seemed to have stolen a couple of barrels of mead from the scenery of the brewery in the basement corridor.
When I got to the bottom of the Tower I noticed with a start that someone was waiting, sitting at the bottom steps of the circular staircase. I was suddenly confronted with and reminded of the reason why I had been feeling so dark for the past week and all the angst-y feelings came rushing back to me.
The figure jumped up when he saw me, his ginger hair glimmering in the flickering light of the torches lining the walls. He walked up to me with long strides, taking his hands out of his pockets.
'Hiya Cecil.' Fred said as he stood in front of me. I froze. This was the moment, I could see it in his eyes, the moment that Warrington had been talking about. The moment I had been waiting for the entire Christmas holidays. Fred's hand was forced and this was the moment. 'Hi Fred.' I answered him timidly. He didn't waste time.
He nearly jumped forward, grabbing onto my arms and turning me around to push, no smash me against the wall, crushing his lips to mine. I was left breathless, having the wind knocked out of me. His fingers knitted into my jumper, kneading the flesh of my sides. His lips nibbled my skin, my throat, my ears, leaving butterfly kisses along my cheeks back to my mouth. He groaned when I kissed him back with the same passionate vigour, my hands trailing past his face, up to the top of his head to pull his hair. He bit my lip gently in reply and I moaned. 'I've had a horrible Christmas.' Fred muttered against my mouth.
This was great, so great! Fred was snogging me harder than he ever had before. And this was his choice. He had chosen this. We had forced his hand but he had gone and made this choice. Fred pulled back and looked down at me and I looked back up, a shocked grin on my face. I was in love with Fred Weasley! So incredibly deep into it. In love! Then he started talking.
'So if that won't make you forget about Warrington, I don't know what will.' He said and I blinked, the grin still on my face. 'What?' I asked, slightly confused. 'That snake's an absolute prick but your momentary lapse in proper judgement is forgiven.' He said, winking at me.
My hands were resting on his chest but they pushed him away now. 'Excuse me?' I asked. I couldn't believe my ears. I stepped away from both him and the wall, putting my hands in front of me to create some distance. 'Is that why you kissed me? To make me forget about Cassius?' I asked him incredulously.
'You don't honestly like someone like Warrington, do you?' Fred called out, his frown mocking me. 'And why wouldn't I!' I replied. 'What's so wrong with him?' I asked and Fred shook his head, as if it should be self-evident. 'He's a Slytherin, which is bad enough, but he's also a bully and he's as good as in with You-Know-Who already.' He said and I suppressed a snort at that outrageous accusation out of nowhere.
'Well, you know what, at least Cassius had the good manners to tell me he wasn't interested in me after snogging me.' I told him. Fred looked surprised by that information. 'Wait, so you two are not going out together?' Asked Fred, a grin lightening his face. I looked at my feet. 'No, we only kissed.' I confessed. 'Well enough, he was no good for you. He didn't even like you.' He said, reaching his hands out to my waist, but for some reason that sparked a feeling of total outrage in me and I looked back up at him, pushing his hands away.
'What? Do you like me then?' I asked him and I was shocked by my own forwardness and he seemed to be a bit as well. 'Sure I do, Cecil.' He said, a nervous twinge to his voice and I just couldn't stand it anymore. It had been building inside of me for so many months already and it was enough now. It couldn't stay in anymore.
'You don't like me any better than you know me, which is to say not at all!' I bit back at him and he seemed taken aback by my vigour. 'Of course I know you.' He said and I let out an exasperated sigh. 'You have barely ever asked me how my day was; how would you know anything about me besides what the back of my throat looks like?' I asked him angrily.
'Cecil, can't you calm down a bit? We have gotten along for a long time already, can't we just continue doing that?' He said gently but for once I was sure that I in fact was completely justified in my emotions. 'How can you ask that of me!?' I questioned him, my voice cracking, genuinely curious to his answer. 'You know how I feel about you.' I added and his lips tightened. 'I don't know what to say, love.' He said. 'You shouldn't call me that.' I told him. He looked at me, his face hard and I felt my face burning but this time not just from embarrassment but also from anger and a sense of righteousness that went with it.
But Fred wasn't smiling anymore. Fred's ever present laughter had disappeared and he looked mildly annoyed and I felt a sharp pang of hurt at the simple notion that I was getting the most upset I had been in my life at him and he was only mildly annoyed. Why did this mean so much to me and so little to him? And then it struck me and although it had before, never so clear and clean.
'Fred, I don't think we should do this anymore.' I said. He stepped forward, reaching out his hand soothingly but I stepped back as if I was afraid to get burned and he dropped the hand. 'Don't you think you're overreacting a bit?' He asked and I bit back another angry retort. 'That's not fair Fred; you risk a lot less with this than I do.' I said. He looked at me for another second but then grunted some sort of unwilling agreement. 'Well, if that's the case, maybe you're right. See you around Cecil.' He said, a bit more venomously than he perhaps meant to.
And as I saw him walk away with his long strides, his broad shoulders hunched over, I was in half a panic because part of me wanted to scream at him to come back, "oh Fred, please don't go!" I shouted out in my mind; just maybe we could forget about it. "It's alright Fred, your heart's in the right place" I thought, as if that was good enough but I stayed silent and watched him turn the corner and instead in a murmuring voice told myself; 'Don't be fooled by pain, it comes but it goes away.'
I HOPE I HOPE I HOPE I DIDN'T DISAPPOINT EVERYONE WITH THIS! The story is far from over (like seriously; the story is planned out years further - it's ridiculous) so stick around. I hope you'll do me the favour and review because I'm sweating just writing this. Was it okay?
What's good to mention is that the lines "you don't know me better than you like me", "It's alright, your heart's in the right place", "please don't go" and "don't be fooled by pain, it comes but it goes away" are lyrics from a song called "Anna Please Don't Go" by the band Life in Film. They're a nice London band!
Please ease my suffering and leave me a review!
PS: to illustrate how far everything is planned out I'd like to tell you how much I've omitted already from the story. After the story is finished I have about five one-shots at this point about characters other than Cecilia, some of you have already met and some of them you have still to meet. I'm really excited for all of you to read the rest of the story. Especially once the war breaks out into the open. The war is going to be amazing, I'm telling you!
PPS: also, I was thinking of putting a new summary up for my story. You know, the one that you see before clicking on it? I feel like it doesn't at all reflect what I want it to but I'm no good at summaries. Competition for the one who gets me the best summary! What about a prize? Mmmh, some future chapters or scenes perhaps? Tell me what you'd like!