Oof, this chapter took a lot more time than anticipated. I had it almost finished for a long time but I just had trouble with a segway pretty much. In the end I decided to just switch up the order of events in my chapter and postpone a scene till the next chapter. I think it works better than it did at first. I think.

Enjoy and please review :)

CHAPTER 38

'Empty your mind!' The short wizard commanded. 'I'm about to empty his mind!' Mathilda murmured beside me but I ignored her as I glared at the wooden hoop laying on the floor in front of me. 'Remember the Three D's and focus on them!' Wilkie Twycross shouted through the Great Hall. Destination, determination, deliberation – I repeated in my head over and over again.

Twycross was an apparition instructor from the Ministry who had come to teach us how to apparate. For the hour the Anti-Apparition Charm was lifted from the Great Hall, in which we were stood right now, so we could practise in peace. 'Now, when you're ready, you turn on the spot and disapparate!' Twycross yelled out and with a deep breath I gripped onto my wand a little tighter and turned on my heels.

I nearly fell forward into my hoop, jumping into it rather than apparating into it. 'Great effort.' Mathilda commented sarcastically. She hadn't done much better, nor had the majority of the other sixth years. Only Andrew Kirke from Gryffindor, who was all the way at the front, disapparated successfully with a loud bang, even though by the looks of it he had overreached by a bit and had appeared just past his hoop, stumbling onto his face right after. Nonetheless did Twycross gave him a stern but appreciative nod. 'Think of your first D young man!' I could hear the instructor tell the Gryffindor.

It was our second apparition class. Up till now Andrew Kirke had been the only one who had managed it except for Hestia Carrow who had done it in the first lesson but had splinched herself, leaving a part of her arm behind. It was fixed quickly but she was left so traumatised by the event that she refused to try again after. Terence Higgs had sworn that he had already succeeded too but nobody had seen him do it so I think he was just pretending. Many of us had become dispirited by the lack of progress, including me. To be fair, it didn't take much for me these days to become dispirited. I hadn't been spirited really in weeks.

'I wonder what the Ministry will do when in two months not one student passes their apparition exam. It would be a right laugh, don't you think?' Aurora said with a light hearted chuckle as we walked out of the Great Hall after class. 'I suppose.' I said, not paying attention as I dug around in my bag. I was looking for my book. I wanted to go read in the library but if I forgot to bring it, I had to go by the dormitory first.

'If we all fail, you think they would give us our money back?' Mathilda suggested, going along with Aurora's hypothesis. Aurora laughed. 'They must! We paid for a service and the service was performed poorly; that would constitute a reimbursement if you ask me.' She argued and Mathilda was about to answer when I found my book at the bottom of my bag. 'I'm going to the library.' I interjected and they both turned to me. 'Alright, I'll see you later.' Mathilda said.

Mathilda had given me a lot of space. The night Felix had told me he couldn't be friends with me anymore I had come back to the common room feeling empty. Mathilda demanded to know what had happened so I told her but as she asked questions I couldn't answer them. I felt entirely lifeless about it all. What was the point of getting emotional over it?

I wasn't being honest with myself though. I felt a lot about it. But it was also way too painful and too difficult to admit that. So instead I just kept feeling dull and uninspired.

The library was quiet. It was a Saturday and despite the persistent cold, quite sunny. Who in their right mind would sit in that dusty library unless absolutely necessary? I walked past Madam Pince's desk, who gave me a glare as I came in as if I was coming in to disturb the peace. I just quickly walked on. There were many empty tables and chairs but I had my heart set on a particular armchair at the very back, close by the window. Luckily it was empty when I got there.

I settled down, dumping my bag on the floor next to me once I fished my book out, swinging my legs over the armrest, sitting in it sideways. I didn't quite open it yet. It was a book called Pride and Prejudice by an author named Jane Austen. It was a muggle book that Felix had given me for my birthday last year. I had found it in the bottom of my trunk while searching for my jumper. I had packed it to bring to Hogwarts but taking as many classes as I did at the beginning of the year I had no time to read for pleasure. Since then I had forgotten about it.

I hadn't spoken much to Felix at all since we had crestfallenly said goodbye to each other in the Charms corridor. I had been wrapping myself up in melancholy for the last week or two, buckling down on my studies as much as I could. Up till now 1996 had been nothing but misery.

I let my eyes wander from the book cover to the window, looking out. It was a bright day out and the grounds were filled with students, huddled in their cloaks, who took the opportunity of a free Saturday and a clear sky and lounged on the grass or took a walk to the quidditch pitch or around the Lake. I just wanted to be alone.

Felix would still smile at me and wave when he saw me but he no longer came up to me to see how I was doing and although he still sat next to me in Muggle Studies, we didn't talk and we didn't do our homework together like we used to. Secretly I wanted to go up to him and ask him how he was doing or invite him to the library with me, but I felt guilty. He had made his boundaries clear to me. If Fred had continued to try and snog me after I told him I was no longer in for it, how would I have liked it? It seemed crazy to me that Felix had those kinds of feelings for me, it made me hot in the face to think about, but I had to accept it. He needed the distance.

I opened up the book and started reading. This would be the first muggle book I was reading since that first one, the Great Gatsby I had borrowed off Felix when I spent the day at his house in the summer. It had been a good exercise in reading comprehension. But more than that, it had granted me with a glance into another dimension, it almost seemed like. Proof that muggles weren't just some distant semi-fictitious children's story creatures but beings with complex thoughts, beliefs and souls.

I managed to read about twenty-five pages of Pride and Prejudice before I put the book down again. It was tiring, reading something that was so disjointing. The disconnect from this muggle world described in the book to the real world was making it difficult to focus on what I was reading. But I remembered feeling the same way about the Great Gatsby when I first read that and in the end I was blown away by it. I just had to plough on.

'All my text books are useless now.' I heard someone complain and I looked sideways to see two third or fourth year Gryffindor students walk my way. 'Tell me about it, before Trelawney got sacked I had finished that whole stupid essay and then this new professor comes in and just right out says everything she taught us was useless pathetic human stuff.' The second student said. 'What about my essay!?' He exclaimed.

They both noticed me looking at them with a book in my lap at the same time and they shot me apologetic smiles as they lowered their voices, looking slightly embarrassed. 'Point is, we need to find a book that is going to tell us more on centauric stargazing, I suppose.' The first student whispered to their friend as they ducked into one of the aisles between the bookcases.

Cho and Marietta were the only people I knew somewhat intimately who still took Divinations. Mathilda used to as well but dropped it after failing to get an O.W.L. in the subject. Our whole year in Ravenclaw had quizzed my two dormitory mates after their first lesson with the centaur called Firenze. They both were in awe of the class. 'The classroom is charmed to look like a forest, or the Forbidden Forest specifically I suppose, and it has a moving starry night for a ceiling so we can study them in class.' Marietta had told us. Cho agreed with her enthusiasm. 'We literally set a fire in the middle of the room so we could observe the smoke patterns.' She had added. They thought it was terribly interesting to have a centaur for a professor. No matter him calling them simple, insignificant little people.

I looked at my book. It was still open in my lap although it was put to rest in an angle that I couldn't quite read it. I didn't attempt to either. I laid my head to the side, closing my eyes momentarily. I felt exhausted without reason. A soft gust of wind stroked my skin, it had always been a draughty castle, but it was a pleasant feeling and I didn't move, even when I heard the rustling of movement, robes and footsteps in the distance coming closer. 'Are you sleeping?'

My eyes shot open when I heard the familiar voice and I raised my head to see none other than Fred Weasley standing over me, hands in pockets and his bag slung over his shoulder. I sat up a bit straighter but Fred shook his head at me. 'Don't bother.' He told me, sitting down in the arm chair next to mine. 'How are you?' He asked.

It took me a moment to answer, a bit flabbergasted to see him here so suddenly. 'Honestly, I feel miserable.' I told him genuinely. He smiled but not at me. He was looking at the floor as he was slumped down in his chair, his long legs stretched out in front of him as he had his arms crossed over his chest. 'Yeah, I know how you feel.' He replied.

We were quiet for a moment. 'Do you take Divinations?' I asked him after a bit. He chuckled, looking away from the floor and up to me. I felt a tickle in my stomach at his piercing ocean eyes.

'No, I kind of wish I did though now. Having a bloody centaur for a teacher? Wicked!' He exclaimed and I felt a grin of my own crack onto my face. 'You never came across a centaur before? Not on any of the trips you and George made into the Forbidden Forest?' I asked and at his mock-scandalised face I went on; 'Don't lie to me, I know you did!' I called out accusingly, immediately quieting down as I realised my surroundings, still grinning and he smiled back at me and I felt hot around the collar.

'That's unfair, Fred.' I thought to myself. 'To smile at me like that.' I swallowed, putting my teeth together and my head down. I felt my cheeks heat up but I didn't want to allow it to change anything anymore. I did not want to feel so powerless any longer.

'You know what, I have something to show you.' Fred muttered, not answering the charge I threw through his floo, and I heard him move about and I took a deep breath before looking back up. He was messing around in his bag, leaning forward as he did, but he let out a happy 'Aha!' as he found what he seemed to be looking for. He pulled out a brightly coloured box, straightening his back and reaching the box out to me, gesturing for me to take it. I sat up on my elbow, leaning over to take it.

'What is it?' I asked as he handed it over but he needn't answer because the box was quite self-explanatory. It was an orange box, so orange in fact that my eyes nearly teared up at the effort of looking at it, and there was a seal at the top that read, smaller letters first, "Weasley and Weasley present" with underneath in a much bigger print "Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes".

I let my fingers run across the top before I opened the ribbon latch and unfolded it, the top flipping up and the two sides swinging open and trays sliding out, revealing an assortment of sweets packaged in shiny, dazzling wrappers in all different colours. 'By Circe..!' I muttered in amusement and Fred moved forward and sat at the tip of his chair so he could lean over the box and point out the different sweets to me.

'These pink ones are Fainting Fancies and the white ones are Nosebleed Nougats. Those purple ones are Puking Pastilles. The green ones though are-' -'What are these?' I asked with a laugh, interrupting him, and Fred pinched my cheek teasingly (making me acutely aware of the short distance between us – although he wasn't looking at me) before he explained 'These are our Skiving Snackboxes!'

I frowned, taking one of the sweets out of the box, a Nosebleed Nougat. 'Skiving Snackboxes? What does that mean?' I asked and Fred seemed delighted to explain. 'There's two bits, an orange and a purple bit. Eat the orange and you get a nosebleed, effectively granting you permission to leave class and once you're out or at the hospital wing, take the purple bit and your nosebleed stops immediately.' He told me. 'Perfect excuse to have a day off.' He added. I smiled. Typical.

I was about to put the sweet back when he stopped me, his big hand momentarily covering up my smaller one as he keenly closed my fingers around the Nosebleed Nougat. 'You keep that one.' He said. 'I think even you can use it well these days.' He chuckled. I didn't dare look at him as I put it in my pocket. 'Alright.'

Fred sat back in his chair again as I looked at the different sweets admiringly. If these all worked as they should it was some solid spell work. Or potioneering, I ruled as I thought about it a bit further. These seemed like classic potion properties. I closed the box again.

'Don't you think it looks ace?' Fred questioned and I couldn't help but agree. 'It does. It looks mad, but amazing, it does, really.' I mumbled. The letters on top of the box were blinking up at me as I said it. 'Weasley and Weasley present..' I read out loud in a whisper. 'You guys are really going ahead with this, aren't you?' I realised. He laughed, looking at me. 'Did you ever doubt us, love?' He questioned me. 'No, not really, I suppose.' I admitted.

'Which "Weasley" are you?' I asked with a chuckle after a moment of silence. He laughed. 'Out of "Weasley and Weasley"? The first one, of course.' He answered. I smiled, looking up at him. He had the back of his head resting against the chair, his elbows on the armrests and his ankles crossing each other as he looked back at me. I reached over to give him the box back.

'Good luck, it genuinely looks mint.' I told him. He stayed seated, looking at me lazily as he took the box back. I felt a bit self-conscious as I straightened out, taking my book again from where it had slipped between the cushions of the chair. 'Are you really that miserable, Cecil?' Fred asked when I nearly couldn't stand the quiet anymore.

I shrugged. 'Don't worry, it's not your fault.' I said. 'Not this time anyway.' I added but I was only joking and he could tell from my smile and he smiled as well. 'Well, that's good.' He said and it occurred to me that maybe he had felt bad. That he was worried that he had made me feel bad.

He stood up, putting the box in his robe pocket. They must have been magically enlarged. He gave me a last grin and said; 'I'll see you around, Cecil.'

My cheeks heated up once more but I didn't comment. I just nodded at him but not as timidly as I once would and he turned around. I heard him laughing in the easy-going manner he always did as he left the library, although I couldn't tell what at exactly. 'Weasley, why must you always be so loud!' I heard Madam Pince's shrill voice exclaim. I sighed, looking back at my book. I'd give this Jane Austen another attempt.

I was, as always, putting my best effort in my studies but it was nothing compared to the fifth and seventh years this time of year, all of them completely engulfed by their exam preparations. Mathilda spent every moment that Adrian could spare for her with him. She would come back to us with a lazy smile on her face and I knew better than to ask. I wondered how they were going to handle it when Adrian would finish school soon. Aurora asked her one night, as we were sitting in a corner of the common room, by the window. Cho was already asleep, having had a rigorous quidditch practice before, but Marietta was sitting with us.

'Oh, I don't know, we'll see I suppose.' Mathilda said but I could tell she was making light of it. 'We'll do the long distance thing for a bit. I mean, you and Robin can manage, can't you?' She said to Aurora. Aurora shrugged. 'Sure, but it's a lot of work and it's really hard sometimes.' She supplied but Mathilda waved her concerns away.

'We can see each other during Hogsmeade weekends.' She said. Marietta seemed to agree with Aurora. 'I don't think you should dismiss her, Mathilda. Out of sight is out of mind.' She argued but Mathilda was not easily persuaded. 'Nonsense, absence makes the heart grow fonder.' She argued back decidedly. 'Now, can we stop talking about how my relationship with my boyfriend is going to wither away just because he leaves school?' She begged, a little bit of annoyance visible on her face.

Aurora laughed but Marietta and I stayed serious. 'We didn't mean anything by it.' Marietta said. 'I'm just done talking about it.' Mathilda answered bitingly and I couldn't blame her. It wasn't a pleasant topic.

'I think you're not giving the two of them enough credit.' I said to Aurora and Marietta, jumping to Mathilda's defence, and they all turned to me. 'I think Adrian is completely besotted with her.' I pointed out. 'More than besotted!' Mathilda fell in, waving her index finger about. 'He told me he..!' She began to say but she pressed her lips together and went red as if she had made a terrible mistake. 'What? He told you what?' Marietta urged but Mathilda shook her head quickly. Aurora wasn't letting go though. 'Did he..? Did he tell you he loves you?' She asked gently. None of us breathed as Mathilda stayed still for a moment but then she let a smile slip and nodded once.

'He told you he loved you!?' I shrieked, louder than the others. I had never seen Mathilda so red before in my life, scarlet from the neckline of her robes to the roots of her hair. 'And I said it back.' She confessed and all of us shrieked out once more. Roger Davies shushed us from the other end of the common room where he was studying for his N.E.W.T.'s and we quieted down into giggles, shooting him apologetic smiles.

'I can't believe you didn't tell me. You can usually not stop yourself from telling me.' I said to her, a laugh on my breath, and she shrugged her shoulders, still red but not looking embarrassed otherwise. 'It just felt so intimate. I didn't think he'd like me to tell anyone. Not even you.' She said to us, to me really, and she chuckled airily. 'So I kept it a secret for a bit.' She said. I leaned forward, giving her a fierce hug. 'It's okay, I understand.' I told her and she hugged me back. 'I am very glad you now know though.' She said. 'I felt like I was going to explode from joy and I wanted you to know so badly!' She whispered into my hair, only to me. I pressed her even closer. After I let go, Aurora and Marietta went in for hugs too, congratulating Mathilda, but my chest felt warm because I knew that no one was friends like Mathilda and I were. I loved her like she was my sister.

After some more conversation I announced I was going to take Cho's example and turn in as I was tired. Mathilda and Aurora called me weak (but jokingly so) but Marietta, after joining in their jokes for a bit, said she'd join me. 'How are you doing these days?' She asked me as we climbed the stairs to our dormitory. 'You weren't quite yourself for a while but you seem to be doing better lately.' She added when I looked surprised. I blushed, realising she had noticed me being out of sorts. But on the other hand, why shouldn't she have noticed? I was indeed completely out of sorts. Since New Year's pretty much.

'I'm alright.' I told her. 'I wasn't quite, I suppose, but I am now.' I entrusted on her and she smiled. 'That's good to hear.' She murmured. 'And you?' I asked her in return. 'I know this school year can't have been easy on you either.' I added knowingly and I knew that she knew I meant her having to support Cho in her grief so much. 'It wasn't. But you know, she's my best friend. I'd do anything for her.' She told me as we entered the dorm.

The curtain around Cho's bed was pulled closed and I knew that she always cast a Silencing Charm (especially after the events at the Third Task so we wouldn't be able to hear her cry herself to sleep) so I felt safe as I continued talking. 'Are you careful not to lose yourself? I know you're trying your best, but don't forget to take care of yourself too.' I said. I knew what it was like to have an overbearing best friend, however much I loved Mathilda.

Marietta smiled thinly. 'I'll try and remember that.' She chuckled, stretching out with a yawn afterwards. 'Don't tell her but sometimes I wish she'd ask less of me, you know, but I always feel so guilty afterwards. After the thought I mean.' She said. I reached out to awkwardly squeeze her shoulder, hopefully in a comforting manner. 'You're a good friend.' I merely said. She seemed to appreciate the gesture.

Marietta sighed deeply after a few moment. 'Don't think I'm complaining, I'm not complaining, I'm not, but it is a bit hard once in a while. I want to be there for her but sometimes she goes places I can't follow, I think, and I don't know in how much I can support her.' She said. 'Do you need the bathroom?' She added right after as she took her pyjamas and a towel from her trunk. I shook my head. 'Go ahead.'

She disappeared into the bathroom, I heard the lock click into place, and I took off my shoes before diving into bed. I hadn't fully considered just how difficult Cho's mourning must have been on Marietta, but it must've been. She was there for every low with Cho's mental state.

I was tired. I considered just letting myself drift off into a dreamless doze but I felt dinner sticking to my teeth still and I knew I'd feel disgusted in the morning if I neglected brushing them. And my pyjamas were infinitely more comfortable than my uniform skirt and tights and the frilly yellow jumper I had gotten for Christmas. So, when Marietta came out of the bathroom freshly showered, I pulled my pyjamas on and drudged in myself to drag a toothbrush across my dentals. Only after that I succumbed to sleep, no longer thinking of my conversation with Marietta.

On Monday it was time for another Defence Against the Dark Arts class. Umbridge had become even stricter than usual after the unexpected humiliation she suffered at Trelawney's sacking. Any cough was remarked upon by her venomous glare, her sugary snipes and her biting mentions. Everyone kept their head down during class.

Me particularly was sombrely staring at Felix' profile as he was bent over his Defence Against the Dark Arts book. He didn't seem to be reading as he had his eyes closed, his hands across his forehead so Umbridge wouldn't be able to see. My desk was diagonally two rows behind Felix' desk so it was easy to look at him without anyone noticing. I just had to turn my head a tiny bit to the left. I really did miss spending time with him a lot.

Mathilda elbowed me. I shook my head, ridding it of my vague nostalgic thoughts, looking at her. 'Focus on something else.' Mathilda whispered at me. I nodded, mindlessly turning a page in my textbook, blindly gazing down on the words before looking back at Mathilda. 'I'm thinking of inviting him to study with me this weekend.' I whispered back. 'Are you guys ready for that?' Asked Mathilda and I would have replied if from the front we didn't hear a familiar cough.

'Miss Goodfellow was it? I'm sure you'd like to share with the rest of the class what you were saying?' She said, syrup dripping off her voice as she spoke, her eyes cold and hard. 'No I wouldn't, Professor, I didn't mean to interrupt.' Mathilda told her, not looking up from her book. 'Look at me while you're talking to me!' The professor barked, all fake sweetness foregone.

The whole class was openly watching the spectacle now whereas before they had pretended to be interested in nothing but reading. I too had raised my head completely, no longer looking at Umbridge from between my lashes but nervously seeing how her piercing eyes were trained on my best friend to my right.

Mathilda slowly raised her head as well, sighing deeply. 'I just think that nobody here would be interested in what I was saying anyway.' Mathilda said. 'Upon my word,' said Umbridge, 'you give your opinion very decidedly for so young a person. Merlin permits, what is your age?'

'Sixteen.' Mathilda muttered. 'So not even yet of age?' Umbridge said. 'Now, I suggest you not utter another word in my classroom. I will help you remember as such. Detention this Friday at dinner.' She added and flashes of the cursed Blood Quill ran through my mind and I was about to say something, something entirely stupid probably, just in a misplaced effort to protect my friend, but someone else got in there before me.

'She didn't even do anything! She whispered something!' Felix interjected and a gasp went through the class at the outspoken rebellion against the frightening little lady at the front of the room. My heart was beating loudly inside my ribcage as I watched him glare at our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. 'And your name, mister..?' Umbridge addressed him questioningly and he stuck up his nose much more snootily than I'd ever seen him do before. 'Felix Smythwick.' He replied and she gave him a smile that could turn a phoenix to ice. 'You'll be joining Ms Goodfellow in detention, Mr Smythwick.' She merely said. He aggressively blew air out through his nose. 'Fine by me.' He forced out, his teeth pressed together.

After class Felix all but stormed out, Peter following after him hastily. I stuffed my book in my bag, muttering a quick 'I'll see you in a little bit.' to Mathilda before running after Felix. 'Felix!' I shouted down the corridor and Felix looked over his shoulder and stopped walking when he saw it was me, Peter nearly crashing into him. 'Cecilia?' He said surprised. His shoulders were tense but his face was amiable despite the confusion. 'What is it?' He asked. 'Why did you do that?' I said accusingly. 'As if it isn't bad enough for Mathilda to be in detention, why did you, totally unnecessarily, need to get yourself in it too?' I asked him, annoyance in my voice.

Felix' expression soured. 'I'm just really tired of that hag.' He spat out, spinning around again and stalking off. Peter and I were left standing astounded as we looked after him. Peter turned to me, shooting me a half-hearted glare. 'He's been in a foul mood for weeks.' He only said before resuming to follow after Felix.

That night at dinner Mathilda ladled more potatoes on my plate against my weak protests. 'You've barely eaten two bites and didn't have much at lunch either.' She said. 'And you've been so quiet. You're not feeling guilty are you? You must know it's not your fault. Scumbridge gives away detentions like they're sweets at Halloween. At least I'm not going to be alone with her, Felix is going to be with me and I know you're not speaking at the moment but he's nice so that's something.' Mathilda droned on and I interrupted her marathon by groaning. She rolled her eyes.

Mathilda was being blasé about the whole thing but I had immense dread building in my stomach as I thought of these two people I cared so much about being physically harmed by Professor Umbridge. 'Sorry Tilda, I'm just not feeling great.' I admitted feebly. I put my hands on the table and pushed myself up. 'I'll see you in the dormitory.' I told her before making myself scarce. 'Wait, if you just wait one second I'll go with..!' Mathilda called after but I nearly sprinted out of the Great Hall and up the great marble staircase.

I didn't stop running until I was out of breath on the seventh floor, in front of Flitwick's office. I knocked on the door, hard, and knocked again when he didn't answer. He still didn't answer and I rationally figured that my Head of House must still be at dinner. Just because I jumped up in the middle of it, didn't mean anyone else did, let alone Professor Flitwick.

I slid down the wall and stretched out my legs in front of me as I decided to wait for him. I tried to remember my own detention with Umbridge. It felt like ages ago. I remembered the piercing pain as letters started to carve themselves onto my hand. How my blood sparkled on the paper as the quill used it as ink. I couldn't subject Felix and Mathilda to that. I wasn't going to wait for Fred to do something as he had promised a while back.

When Flitwick came down the corridor I scrambled to my feet. 'Professor! Can I talk to you?' I asked, a little too desperately to be respectable. 'Ms Wiggleswade? Of course, step into my office.' He said, tapping his wand to his door and opening it up, letting me in first.

I sat down in the chair across from his desk in a hurry, impatiently waiting for him to close the door behind him and patter down to his own chair with his short steps. He hoisted himself on top of the stack of books that sat in his chair and looked at me. 'You look upset.' He remarked. 'Well, maybe I am.' I said briskly. 'Not to worry!' He called out, reaching over to his top right desk drawer and pulling out a tin box. He pulled off the lid and revealed a dozen or so tiny cupcakes.

'Professor, I have no time for pastries!' I said and Professor Flitwick seemed disappointed by my rejection. 'Not even if they dance?' He asked, waving his wand so one of the cupcakes jumped out of the box and started tangoing up and down the desk. I said nothing and Flitwick seemed to grasp how on edge I was feeling because he began to frown and leaned forward. 'Then it must be serious. What have you come to speak to me about?'

I took a deep breath but then started tumbling out the words that had been haunting me for a long while already. 'Professor Umbridge is torturing students!' I spat out breathlessly. 'Corporal punishment is against the law but she's using a cursed quill and has students writing lines with their own blood in detention!' I added and Professor Flitwick looked at me thoughtfully, not looking quite as shocked as I had expected him to look. 'I have many questions but to begin with I'd like to enquire how exactly you know this?' He asked.

'I had detention with her.' I pointed out and Flitwick nodded. 'I'm well aware but that was, when? September? October? Why are you telling me this now?' He asked and I opened my mouth only to close it again. I wasn't prepared for questions, let alone critical ones. 'I just wanted to tell you.' I said weakly. He smiled. 'Thank you.' He said. 'I appreciate you coming to me. Don't mistake my questions for doubts.' I nodded apprehensively. I had already started to regret me coming here.

Flitwick took a moment to gather his thoughts and we both looked at the cupcake that was still dancing around the desk. 'Honestly, the reason I'm asking is because, being frank, I'm afraid it's too late. I think there's very little I can do to stop Professor Umbridge.' He said and I was speechless as I stared at my Head of House. He looked saddened by his own words. 'Nevertheless I'll bring it up to the faculty. I promise.' He told me.

I was feeling very empty as I was lying in bed that evening. I had covered myself with my blanket completely, only the top of my head (eyes included) and my ears peeking out of the top. My ears in particular because I was still listening to Mathilda as she was ranting away about her detention to the rest of the dormitory. The curtains around my bed were still undrawn and I could see Mathilda's shadow move around against the wall across from me as she imitated Umbridge.

'"Merlin permits, what's your age!?"' Mathilda cried out. She snorted. 'Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.' She joked and I heard Marietta and Aurora laugh. I heard the springs of the bed next to mine, behind me as I was on my side facing the opposite direction, creak at the impact of Mathilda sitting down on it, her shadow matching it. The shadow she cast was long against the flickering candle light. 'Like age is such a feat. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.' She told us knowledgably.

Lights went out not long after and I was huddled in the dark although my curtains were still open. I didn't know what I could possibly do to save my friends from their detentions and I couldn't even think about telling them right now. I hadn't told them before, would they think I didn't trust them enough to tell them? I felt horribly stupid. But I had to tell them. They had to know what was going to happen.

What I didn't anticipate when I decided to tell them was that Felix was still as distant as he had been for the past weeks. I wanted to tell Mathilda and him together but it was looking like I had to just tell Mathilda and hope I could catch Felix in the corridors when he wasn't expecting it and had no time to smile at me awkwardly and bid a hasty retreat.

I told Mathilda Wednesday evening. She was mercifully cool about it. I was frightened that she would be mad at me for not telling her before but after slapping me on the shoulder in a rather annoyed manner, she just told me that I had to stop thinking that I had to suffer through everything by myself. The rest of the night we tried to think of ways to counter the curse, dull pain in the hand and diminish scarring. It didn't make me worry less, but it did make me feel better.

Friday morning I woke up way too early, sweat pearling on my forehead as I overcame my nightmare. In it Felix and Mathilda had been hexed into giant quills by Umbridge that wrote down the terrible thoughts their dream-selves had about me. Selfish! Coward! Timid! I shook my head, ridding it of the echoes of their voices. They were my thoughts, not theirs. Still, the insecurities that had always been my companion since I was a young girl couldn't quite quiet themselves.

It was so early that even Mathilda wasn't up yet and when I came down to the common room there was only one other student, a fifth year who was pulling at her hair as she was bent over her O.W.L. homework, seemingly having pulled an all-nighter. The common room was still in slight disarray from the night before. Parchment was spread out on the study tables, some empty butterbeer bottles were stood by the smouldering fire and an unfinished game of chess was set up by the couches. I sat down on an armchair, my school bag on my lap as I took a deep breath.

I took a book out of my bag, hoping to catch up on my schoolwork reading, but when I opened up Advanced Arithmancy an envelope fell out. I picked it up from where it had fluttered onto the floor. 'Oh yeah.' I muttered to myself as I realised what I had found. It was the letter from Grandfather in which he asked me to stay with him in the Reekes Manor during the spring holidays. I had barely considered it seriously before, knowing just how much my mum would despise it, but after the last couple of weeks nothing seemed more pleasing than to disappear to Grandfather's Scotland manor for a little bit. As long as I didn't tell mum about it.

In the spur of the moment I fished a quill and inkpot out of my bag and turned around the letter to write up a short note confirming my stay with him. I folded it up, put my wand to the edge to seal it and then scribbled the address on it. I really hoped mum wouldn't find out. She couldn't stand Grandfather. I didn't know him well enough to seriously dislike him.

When the rest of Ravenclaw Tower woke up, Mathilda being amongst the first ones as always, I went down to breakfast with the rest of my dormitory. Mathilda kept pestering me on how I had woken before her on the way there. 'Did you have a bad dream? You're not worrying about mine and Felix' detention, are you? We'll get through it. Just like everyone else who has served detention with her has.' She said as we walked into the Great Hall.

'Mathilda!' someone called and both of us looked up to see Adrian stalking our way. 'Adrian? What-' Mathilda began to say but as Adrian reached her he snaked his arms around her back and swooped in for a kiss. He pulled back, but only by a bit. 'Come sit with me for breakfast.' He said. Mathilda let out a high-pitched laugh. 'What is this about?' She asked with a smile. He pecked her lips once more, his hand sweeping across her jaw and into her hair.

'With my N.E.W.T. studies keeping me busy I'm just missing you, that's all.' He said, smiling as well. He spotted me next to his girlfriend and his eyes narrowed. 'Don't you have breakfast to eat, Cecilia?' He suggested childishly and I don't know why him using my first name was so unsettling. 'Oh stop it, I'm having breakfast with her. I'll do lunch with you instead.' Mathilda interjected, pinching his lips together with her thumb and index finger but I waved my hands.

'No, no. sit with your boyfriend. He's right, you haven't had a lot of time for each other these days. I'll see you after class.' I told them; Mathilda had Herbology and I had Muggle Studies so lunch would be the first time we'd see each other. Mathilda seemed unsure on whether to argue me but I didn't leave her a choice as I ducked my head and kept walking to the Ravenclaw Table. As I looked back though I saw she was beaming up at Adrian, shining with delight.

I needed to tell Felix about what he had to expect from his detention. I nervously nibbled away at a slice of bread as I watched the Hufflepuff Table, waiting for Felix to appear. If he'd try to make a polite and quick getaway again, I'd insist he'd stay and listen to me. He'd hear what I had to say.

He didn't show up to breakfast and an unreasonable voice in the back of my mind said that he must've known I was trying to chase him down but I nearly rolled my eyes at myself for how ridiculous that was. He was simply running late.

When I walked into the classroom, Felix was already sitting in his usual spot, unpacking his bag. He looked up when I sat next to him. We always sat next to each other during Muggle Studies, even now when conversation had stilled. He smiled at me as he always did, looking back at his textbook after but where I would have bowed my own head as well in the past weeks, now I turned on my wooden chair, facing him completely.

'Felix, I really have to tell you something.' I said. He looked at me sideways curiously. 'Go on.' He said and for a moment I was surprised he listened. 'What is it?' He asked again and I caught myself. 'Your detention tonight, with Umbridge. She is going to make you use a quill with a blood curse.' I spilled and he turned his body towards me as well. 'Am I supposed to know what that means?' He asked, a simper on his lips. I let out a breathy laugh as well.

'It can mean a lot! In this case this Blood Quill is cursed to draw ink from your own veins. It uses blood as it carves whatever you write onto your hand.' I told him concisely. He nodded thoughtfully. 'A Blood Quill then.' He said. 'Hardly an original name.' He added drily and I snorted. 'I've been calling it that but I don't know what it's called. And the name is hardly the biggest concern.' I shot back and he was about to say something when at the front of the room Professor Burbage started class and brought us to silence. The rest of our double Muggle Studies class we kept smiling and stealing glances at each other. I was so happy to be friends with Felix again for just a little moment.

That night before dinner Mathilda and I hugged each other closely. 'I'll be waiting after your detention with the dittany you got from the greenhouses during Herbology this morning.' I whispered to her. I saw Felix walking in our direction from over her shoulder. 'Better yet, meet me in the empty classroom down the corridor from Umbridge's and take Felix with. He'll need some healing as well.'

We released each other when Felix reached us. 'Are you ready?' He asked Mathilda and she took a deep breath. 'Ready to suffer through that mad toad's punishment for talking in class? Yeah.' She answered and he chuckled. He turned to me. 'Thanks for telling me.' He said abashedly. I smiled at him. After a hesitant second I stepped forward and pulled Felix into a hug.

For a moment he let me, even hugging me back, but then he took my shoulders and pushed me back gently. 'Thanks.' He said again. I shrugged. I never had the chance to tell him in class that I had known for months already and had done nothing.

'We'll have to get going now. Before we get another detention for being late.' Mathilda said tiredly as she grabbed Felix' arm and dragged him with her up the stairs. Felix looked back at me as he was pulled forward. I waved. He waved back.

I didn't eat much at dinner, it seemed unfair to eat when they didn't get a chance to. I said goodbye to Aurora as I wrapped up a couple of chicken wings so they'd have something to eat after their detention. 'I could come too?' Aurora said as I tied the napkins around it so the grease wouldn't leak through in my bag. 'No, that's alright. We'll see you in the common room?' I suggested instead and she nodded.

I didn't know how long the detention would last but I waited in the empty classroom patiently. I had come here after a detour to the Owlery to owl my acceptance to Grandfather's invitation but from there I had gone straight to the classroom even though presumably I'd have to wait a long while for my friends, but that was alright; I would just read my book. Besides, I didn't dare compare my inconvenience to their punishment.

I had the dittany prepared as well as their food sitting beside my bag and when Felix and Mathilda finally came in after an hour and a half I jumped up from my place on top of the desk, throwing Pride and Prejudice aside. 'Are you okay?' I asked immediately. Mathilda groaned. 'Only barely. What a sadistic bitch.' She said, cradling her hand as she walked up to me. I had the dittany ready for her and pressed the herb to her hand. I saw a flash of the violent red letters that spelled out "I will not speak unless spoken to".

'I have soaked the dittany in Murtlap Essence and gooseberry oil.' I supplied as I tied a ribbon around the moist shrubbery, fastening it to her palm. Mathilda said nothing, just let out a sigh in relief as the fresh wound cooled down rapidly. 'And now you.' I gestured to Felix and he quietly stepped forward, sticking out his hand and I took it in mine carefully, trying to not feel self-conscious. I didn't think I had ever held his hand before. Not beside the evening he told me he couldn't be friends with me anymore.

I looked at the back of it and read the words with a heavy heart. 'Obedience is a virtue.' Felix read out to me and I squeezed gently in comfort, not saying anything as I took some more of the dittany to secure it to the wound. 'It will fade.' I told both of them. 'This won't last. The blood curse can't have been too strong in such a fragile object. You'd have to repeat it a million times to make it last.' I said and they both nodded. 'We'll be okay, won't we, mate?' Mathilda said cheerily as she put her arm around his shoulder (although I saw her keeping her wrist in an odd angle to keep pressure of her hand). He smiled in a way that I hadn't seen from him in a while. 'Sure we will.' He answered.

'Anyway, I promised Adrian I'd meet him after detention so I'll get going.' Mathilda said. She supressed a yawn before raising her bandaged hand to me. 'Thank for this, Cecil.' She said before giving me a knowing look and Felix an encouraging smile and departing the classroom.

Felix and I looked at each other, wondering who'd be the first one to say something. 'So..' I eventually started. 'I still need to finish my Muggle Studies essay. Care to join me in the library?' I offered up nervously and I could tell that he was in doubt as he considered it. He sighed before putting on a smile that was hard to believe. His smiles were always so genuine that it was easy to see when it wasn't.

'I already finished it. But I'll see you in class.' He said. He started to turn and I desperately looked around me to find a reason to keep him here. My eyes fell on the chicken wings beside my bag. I had forgotten about them completely the moment they came in but now I grabbed on to the little bundle and called out to him in an unnecessarily anguished fashion. 'I brought food because you missed dinner!'

He hadn't even turned all the way so there had been no need for me to almost yell at him and I turned red. Why was I being so embarrassing? This was just Felix. I held up the chicken. 'You can have it.' I told him and I saw him open his mouth hesitantly so I beat him to the punch. 'I forgot before, otherwise Mathilda would've gotten half. I didn't bring food just for you, if that's what you're thinking.' I added quickly. Felix broke out into a laugh. 'Alright, give me the bloody chicken then.' He said jollily. He took the chicken out of my hands and stepped forward to lean against the edge of the desk.

He unwrapped the napkin and took a decisive bite out of one of the wings. 'Don't you want me to heat it up for you?' I asked, reaching for my wand, but he shook his head. 'No, that's alright. Don't bother.' He said. I hesitantly stepped closer, hopping onto the desk myself. 'Didn't I give you that?' He asked suddenly and I looked sideways to see him nod towards Pride Prejudice that was still laying at the edge of the desk where I had thrown it when they had come in.

'Yeah, for my birthday.' I replied. 'I had honestly forgotten I had it but I found it in my trunk a while back.' I told him. He simply ate on and I counted to three in my head before mustering up the nerve to continue. 'You know what, Felix, I have something to tell you.' I said. He was chewing his food but smiled at me to keep going and I took a deep breath.

'I knew about the detention being like this, with the Blood Quill, or whatever, because I was in detention with her at the beginning of the year.' I confessed. 'Yeah, I figured.' He answered with a full mouth and I looked at him in surprise. 'You did?' I asked and he swallowed before replying. 'Yes, I mean, I know you had detention with her before.' He said matter-of-factly. I looked at him in wonder. 'Why didn't you say you knew?' I asked.

The question seemed to throw him off. 'Why didn't I-? I didn't realise it was a big deal.' He answered. 'You don't think I'm selfish?' I asked him. I had spat the question out as if it burned on my tongue and it hung in the air as a skittish Billywig. Felix had lowered his chicken, turning his body to me slightly. 'Selfish? Why would I think you're selfish?' He asked me earnestly and I felt my eyes burn. 'Because it was so long ago and I didn't say anything?' I offered up.

'Oh Cecilia, you couldn't have prevented this! Umbridge is going up against all the teachers, not to mention Dumbledore! Not to disparage you, but what were you going to do about it?' He asked with humour and I shrugged. 'I don't know, I could've told my mum. She's a journalist, she could've written about it.' I said but Felix shot back 'and the Daily Prophet would've published it?' and I shrugged again. A year ago I would've answered with a resounding "yes!" but nowadays I wasn't as convinced about the newspaper's independence from government. I felt hot tears gather in my eyes and I quickly wiped them away with my sleeve before they could fall.

'It's not about what I could've actually achieved.' I settled. 'The point is, I was too scared to try anyway. I just wanted to forget about it.' I admitted. Felix looked at me pensively. 'Lots of people get scared, Cecil. It doesn't make you selfish.' He countered after a second or two. 'No, but not bothering to find the courage to get over it does!' I responded. He was quiet for a while and I didn't interrupt his pondering as I stared ahead too, looking at the scuffmarks at the tip of my shoes.

'I'll come to the library with you, my Muggle Studies essay might need some work after all.' Felix spoke up and I looked at him in surprise. 'What? Are you sure? You don't have to if-' but Felix interjected quickly 'No, it's alright.' He said and he sucked the grease off his fingers with a popping sound before wrapping up the last of the chicken. 'But,-' he said, as we walked out of the classroom, closing the door behind us '-we can't keep doing this.' And he didn't need to elaborate on why not. I understood.

I felt a lot better after that day. Nothing changed much those weeks following; we still didn't talk or sit together outside of Muggle Studies or study together again, but I felt a lot better knowing that we could still talk like we used to. Nothing had really happened to us. We were fine, even if we didn't talk.

Life felt simple again, just for a little while. I could breathe again like normal and I could feel bright about the future once more in a way that had felt difficult to do for a while. It couldn't last though. There were many worries about the world that had been on my mind and they had only been dulled temporarily but as March turned into April something dragged them violently to the foreground of my thoughts once again.

It had been a normal day otherwise. I had earned a couple of points in Arithmancy, I had beans with lunch, had done homework in the library, but the evening turned out to end in the most memorable of ways.

After dinner that night Mathilda took off with her boyfriend and I went up to the common room with Aurora. Cho and Marietta had disappeared somewhere as well. Aurora and I quizzed each other in French, my informal French classes going well enough that I was slowly catching up to my informal teacher. 'I have to work harder, I believe.' Aurora said as I corrected one of her conjugations and I smiled, feeling self-satisfied.

When Mathilda came into the common room not long before curfew we gathered our things and went up to the dormitory, not quite ready to sleep yet but craving the comfort of our beds. We put on our pyjamas, brushed our teeth and braided our hair and sat under our covers as we talked. 'Where do you reckon Marietta and Cho are hanging out? It's just about curfew.' I said as my eyes caught the clock. 'Who knows these days.' Mathilda said blasé.

Right at that moment the door to our dormitory burst open, and startled the lot of us, and Cho appeared in it, looking like she had run three laps around the Lake, her face red and her breath jagged. 'Marietta isn't here yet?' She asked before any of us could say something. We shook our heads. 'By Circe, okay, she'll get here.' She muttered as she took a couple of long strides towards her bed and sat down stiffly. 'What's wrong? Where were you?' Aurora asked. 'We thought Marietta was with you.' I pointed out.

Cho waved our concerns away. 'Yeah, we just got split up, nothing to worry about.' Said she but her tense shoulders and her pointed stare at the door said otherwise. At first we had difficulty getting back into normal conversation but Cho clearly wanted to be left alone and we had gotten used to that anyway in the past year so it was far past curfew before we knew it. And Marietta still hadn't returned.

When Marietta did come in Cho jumped off her bed, sighing in relief. 'Marietta, thank Merlin they didn't catch you!' She said as she walked up to her best friend. Marietta stayed standing by the door, oddly motionless, her jumper pulled over her face and her curly hair hanging over her eyes. 'Marietta, are you okay?' Cho asked, stopping in front of her.

'They didn't catch you..- what?' Aurora asked out loud, swinging her comforter back so she could get up. 'Who would try to catch you?' Mathilda said. Cho and Marietta both ignored them. 'Marietta, what's wrong?' She asked, reaching out to pull the jumper from her face but Marietta turned away so she couldn't, hurrying to her bed and flinging herself onto it.

'Yetty, what's wrong?' Cho asked again, approaching her friend, stroking her back gently. 'Do I need to call for Madam Pomfrey?' She added but Marietta shook her head in her pillow. I turned to Mathilda momentarily at the same time she looked at me and we shrugged at each other before standing up. 'Marietta, sit up, tell us what happened.' Mathilda said in her toughest voice.

She made to push Cho aside and haul Marietta up but Marietta let out a howl and everyone jumped in surprise. 'Cho, I'm so sorry!' Marietta wailed. Cho's confusion was apparent. 'Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?' She asked and it was quiet for a moment. Then Marietta pushed herself up, her hair still hanging in front of her face as her back was turned to us. She took a deep breath and practically rotated, stiff and wooden, finally facing us.

A gasp went through the dormitory and everyone recoiled as we laid eyes on Marietta. Across Marietta's face had grown boils, pustules and pimples in numbers I had never seen on anyone's skin before. They were large and swollen and unimaginably disgusting but most curious of all was that they were organised in some kind of pattern. And, once I got over how she looked, I managed to read "SNEAK" spelled out in pimples across her nose bridge. A sob broke loose from her as she saw our faces and she buried her face into her hands.

'Oh Marietta, who did this? Was it Umbridge?' Asked Cho, putting her hands on her shoulders. 'No.' Marietta cried, her voice muffled. 'I did this!' She added. That cleared up nothing. 'Marietta, you can't be serious. Why would you do this to yourself?' Mathilda interjected. For a moment Marietta stayed quiet. 'I betrayed everyone.' She eventually muttered.

It didn't mean anything to Aurora, Mathilda and myself but Cho stood up immediately. 'You!? It was you who told Umbridge?' She yelled. Marietta didn't raise her head. 'I can't remember.' She confessed seemingly nonsensically. 'I just feel so guilty.'

'Come on, we have to get you to the Hospital Wing.' Aurora piped up, standing up and moving over to Marietta's bed. Cho stalked back to her own bed. 'Take her without me.' She said briskly. 'What are you talking about?' Aurora asked. 'Rory's right, why are you upset all of a sudden?' Mathilda snubbed. Cho huffed, sitting down decidedly.

'She told Umbridge about the secret Defence Against the Dark Arts club we were in.' Cho said. 'Defence Against the - ?' Mathilda began to say incredulously. 'Harry Potter taught us defensive spells.' Cho interrupted. No one said anything for several seconds but then we all started talking at the same time (save for Marietta who was still frozen in her position on the bed).

'Why would you take such a risk? Umbridge banned clubs!' Aurora pointed out rather unhelpfully. Even more unhelpful was Mathilda who exclaimed 'Potter didn't even pass his O.W.L.'s yet, what's he going to teach you?' and even I contributed to the mess saying that 'I can't believe it!'. Cho argued all of us. 'It doesn't matter anymore, Yetty told Umbridge! We're found out!'

We were all silent again. But then Aurora sat down next to Marietta, placing her hand on her back. 'Let's forget about this for a moment, Marietta needs to go to the Hospital Wing to get her face back in order.' She said and I nodded, stepping forward to help her hoist the still unresponsive Marietta off her bed. 'Have fun.' Cho scoffed. I saw Mathilda open her mouth, always ready to start an argument, but I had heard enough.

'Listen here, Cho,-' I said, turning to her sharply '-Marietta has been there for you all of this time since, well you know, the maze and all that. You haven't been exactly easy on her, and nobody blames you for that, but she has stuck with you and I think you have a lot of nerve not sticking with her now.' I bit at her. Cho looked quite flabbergasted but I didn't wait for an answer as I pulled Marietta towards the door, Aurora and Mathilda right behind me.

There were very little people in the common room and none of them looked up as we marched down the stairs and towards the exit. Before we even reached the spiral staircase Cho had caught up to us. We didn't say anything and neither did she, she just held one of Marietta's hands as we brought her to the Hospital Wing.

No one saw us and there was no one else in the Hospital Wing except for Madam Pomfrey but I was sure that by morning the breakfast tables would be buzzing with the rumours of what had transpired that evening, whatever it was.

Merlin, so much has happened this chapter, don't you think?

First of all, as a Pride and Prej treat I hid some Lady Catherine de Bourgh quotes away (said by a character quite similar to hers). There's also some Groucho Marx lines said by Mathilda.

What do you guys think of all this? Firstly Apparation Lessons have started, Fred is definitely going through on his joke shop business (like we all knew already obviously), Umbridge's power is growing in the school (poor Flitwick doesn't mean to put blame on another victim, Cecilia, he just feels so powerless), Cecilia has decided to spend her spring holiday at her maternal grandfather's place, Felix and Cecilia have a little talk, Adrian and Mathilda loooove each other and last but very much not least the DA has been discovered due to Marietta!

Tell me all your thoughts in your reviews!