Nothing is Ever Truly Over

Chapter Ten

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As the Mantis careened through hyperspace, Ben sat on the bunk in the back of the ship, staring down at the yellow lightsaber in his hands that Rey had forged.

He couldn't believe he was actually doing this: going back to his home world. A year ago, he wouldn't have even considered the idea. But then everything with the Emperor had happened, and he had seen Rey dead. He knew he couldn't live on without her, so he decided to bring her back, even if the cost for it turned out to be his own life. It wasn't so bad, though. At least his soul had chosen to adhere itself to hers in the process. He could live on just listening to her, knowing and feeling she was alive. Maybe not as well as she could be, but alive nonetheless. Then he witnessed Rey's grief-driven descent into darkness. While unsurprising – he had always known there was darkness in her that was just begging to be let out – it still was hard to stomach.

But then, when he least expected it, he was given a second chance, to make things right. He resolved to not waste it.

He lightly caressed the hilt of the yellow lightsaber. It was strange. Though Rey had indeed made it, it didn't call to her. At least, it didn't as of now. It didn't call to him, either, but strangely, it felt like it still belonged at his side in some way. It felt protective of him, not something Ben had ever experienced before, even with his own saber before he had bled it.

And now, when he wanted to put it back in his bag, it seemed to cry in protest.

"Don't worry, I'm coming back," he reassured it with a warm tone, giving it a gentle caress. It felt incredibly weird to comfort an inanimate object, yet somehow it felt right in this case. Ben knew better than anyone that kyber crystals were sentient to a degree. And this one felt very, startlingly human. This one seemed to feel the full spectrum of emotions any other being could feel.

At his reassurance, the saber seemed to finally surrender itself over to the bag and no longer fought Ben.

"We're coming up on our destination," he heard Cal's voice over the ship's intercom.

Well, here he was. Time to face the music. He stood up from the bunk and made his way to the front of the ship.

Just as he entered the cockpit, the ship pulled out of hyperspace, showcasing his home world.

"Well, welcome to Chandrila," Ben remarked to Merrin and Cal, plus BD-1.

Merrin thought it was beautiful. It was full of greenery and oceans, balanced out with the grand and elegant architecture of its capital, Hanna City, and it was just stunning. She had seen a few planets of similar beauty out of the many places she and Cal and their family had been to – Takodana, most notably – but considering she had spent her entire childhood and adolescence on Dathomir, a desolate planet that reeked of death, she had a special place in her heart for planets like Chandrila. Planets like this one – those filled with lush greenery and gorgeous nature – were some of her favorites to visit.

Ben was apprehensive. It had been so long since he had last been on Chandrila, two full decades to be exact. But there was no stopping it now. He had made his bed. Now it was time to lay in it. He decided to return, so he would.

Cal said nothing as he landed the ship. The revelation of who Darth Vader once was hung over him like a shadow. And now he was shuttling around that man's grandson. He could forgive Kylo Ren, as he had not done anything personal to him, but Darth Vader was different. And now that he knew the connection between the two, it made him question how he felt towards Ben.

Ben left the cockpit and dropped the ramp, leaving the setting sun to shine its rays on him. As he was ready to leave, though, a soft, almost motherly, grip around his arm stopped him.

"Ben," Merrin said. The concern was evident in her gaze. "If you need our help, you need only ask. You do know that, right?"

He nodded. He did greatly appreciate her offer. He could feel it within her that, though she was strong in the Dark Side, she was genuine in how much she cared. It was paradoxical to both the Jedi and the Sith, but Ben felt that was because neither of them truly understood emotions. The Jedi tried to suppress them, while the Sith tried to embrace them, both sides to unhealthy levels.

"I do," he affirmed. "And thank you. You know you don't have to do this."

"I do not do this because I feel like I have to," the Nightsister replied, shaking her head in mild astonishment that he didn't get it. "I do it because I want to."

With that, Ben knew that Merrin was one of the greatest women he had ever met, right up there with his mother and Rey. Though all were different in their own ways, they all held two things in common: they all cared strongly, and all of them had each given life to him in some way; Leia through actually giving birth to him, Rey through healing him from a fatal wound, and Merrin through resurrecting him.

"Again, thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me." Still, though, he couldn't help looking past her back towards the cockpit in wary concern. "Though I'm not sure he feels the same."

Merrin looked back over her shoulder, noticing Cal walk out of the cockpit and towards the lounge area with BD-1 astride his back, before he jumped off towards the kitchen. She noted how he purposely didn't look over in Ben's direction. She could feel the dark, stormy haze that seemed to dwell over her Jedi's mind. Finding out the truth about Darth Vader had not sat well with him.

"He does care," she replied, looking back towards Ben. She knew Cal's mind perhaps better than her own. "He is just confused right now. I will talk with him."

Ben nodded his understanding. He was already apprehensive enough about returning home. He didn't wish to push his luck with Cal.

"May the Force be with you," Merrin bid him farewell, smiling warmly at him. It was unusual for her to say such a thing – she wouldn't have ever said such a thing to her sisters; instead, she likely would've wished for her sisters and mother to give them strength – but she felt it was something someone like him would appreciate.

Ben also recognized the irony of a Nightsister saying that. He got the idea that she cared enough for him to step out of her comfort zone for him. And he greatly appreciated it.

With a final smile of thanks, he walked down the ramp.

Merrin went over to the kitchen, gave BD-1 a little affectionate pet and fixed herself up a special drink, using several ingredients from her stash of potions materials. She felt Cal's curious gaze on her, but made it a point to not initiate any sort of talk between them. She wanted him to talk first.

When she finished making her glowing green refreshment, she took a seat along the couch, pointedly not beside Cal.

The Jedi wasn't exactly in the mood to talk, but he was too curious about what she was drinking. He knew what it was – she had drunk it before – but he didn't know why she chose to drink it now of all times. "Why are you drinking that?"

Merrin held her finger up as she finished drinking. Though seemingly a polite gesture, Cal recognized she did not at all intend it that way. In fact, it was the opposite, as she seemed to stretch out every last gulp as long as she could.

It took seemingly forever for her to finish. When she did, she stretched the time a little longer by delicately setting her glass atop the table.

"I feel it will be useful now that Ben is with us," she replied.

Cal's temper flared at the mention of Vader's grandson. "Perhaps it wasn't smart of us to pick him up then, if danger follows him so closely."

Merrin shot a scathing glare of disapproval and disappointment at him. "Spare me your petulance, Cal. It is unbecoming of you."

"I'm sorry, but I don't see why we should be helping someone like him," he returned, not sounding sorry at all.

"Those were not your thoughts when we first picked him up. You never had a problem with Kylo Ren, even after the girls crossed his path."

"That was before I knew he was Vader's grandson!" Cal finally lost it and stood up, looking ready to destroy something. "Had I known back then, I would've killed him before he could so much as lay eyes on them!"

"Like you would have with me?" Merrin darkly retorted.

The change in conversation threw him off. What was she talking about?

"Remember? On Dathomir?" She stood up, challenging him. "'If you attack me again, I'll strike you down?'"

He was struck wordless at her. If she was referring to back when they had first met, then… well, she was actually right. He did remember being ready to kill her if it was necessary. But it wasn't.

And he couldn't believe she was bringing that back up. "That's different," he finally said after a long, uncertain pause.

"How?" she challenged, getting up close with him. "He and I are not so different. We are both people who have made mistakes in the past, but want to be better now. What is it that makes you think of us so differently?"

The accusation was clear, and both of them knew it: he was prejudicing Ben solely for being related to Darth Vader. The way Merrin accused him without doing so outright made him feel like a total sleemo. He fell back onto the couch, defeated.

With the look she gave him, he knew he had messed up.

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Ben Solo stood before the entrance to the grounds of his mother's old estate overlooking the elegant metropolis of Hanna City from afar. Said entrance was a bridge, both physical and figurative, and the length of it was nothing less than daunting.

Never in the last seven years did he think he would stand in this spot. It astounded him that he was here. He had almost forgotten just how grand his old home was. It was probably – correction: definitely – the most expensive property on the face of the planet. His mother accepted nothing less than the very best. Yet, this place still felt like home.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

He turned to find a dark-skinned woman staring admiringly at the estate in the distance.

"I suppose, yes," he agreed after a long pause. This woman, she appeared to be in her middle ages. He knew nothing about her, but his curiosity begged him to ask, "Who are you?"

"Sienna," she gave, giving him a friendly smile. She then looked back to the estate. "This used to be Leia Organa's home, you know."

"I know," Ben replied. He definitely knew. Now, he took note of the complete lack of activity at the estate. It felt strange, as he remembered his mother to be anything but inactive. "No one lives here anymore?"

"No," she shook her head. "Not for the last seven years."

Seven years? Did that mean she left it after he turned to the Dark Side? He had to know. "Why not?"

"Supposedly, Leia left it after she got word she had lost her son. She was too heartbroken to stay in the place she had raised him."

So she left because of him. He just felt even worse about how much he had ruined his mother's life. Now that he had moved past the teenage rebellion phase of his life that lasted much, much longer than it should have, he just felt so much regret for what his actions had wrought upon his family.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked. Sienna turned to him to hear him out. He swallowed. "If someone makes a huge mistake… does that condemn them for life?"

Sienna took a long moment to think. Eventually, she replied, "Past mistakes should not be forgotten. But I believe that everyone deserves a chance to be better."

A chance to be better… He had already had a desire to become a better man for Rey, but after witnessing her grief-driven fall, that was not necessarily the case anymore. Any attempt to be a better man for her would be lost because she just didn't care. But now, he knew what the universe asked of him: to be a better man for the sake of being a better man.

"Be safe," Sienna bid farewell. Ben nodded in reciprocation, then she left.

She had given him great words to ponder on. He decided to keep them in mind going forward.

Now, it was time for him to cross the bridge to his mother's estate. He was finally ready to cross that bridge and reconcile with his past and how it pertained to his family. He wasn't afraid anymore.

He went into autopilot when he crossed the bridge. He knew the grounds like they were the back of his hand, so it took no effort for him to arrive at the vast backyard, a place he had spent much of his youth. He headed straight for the large, elegant fountain, something he recalled using to cause mischief whenever he was happy, which was uncommon during his childhood. The voices in his head – or, rather, singular voice, as he had come to discover after Exegol – tormented and pushed him to think unhappy thoughts even back then. But, whenever they deigned to remain quiet, he remembered having a lot of fun around the fountain.

In fact, he could see one such memory play itself out right now. He saw his younger self sitting just outside the fountain's low wall alongside a younger memory of his mother, one of the few times she wasn't at work. Even now, he could see just how much change both his mother and himself underwent. He found it hard to believe he was ever that small.

And then his younger self threw a loaf of bread at one of the ducks in the fountain. Hard.

"Ha!" his younger self went in triumph when the throw connected.

"Ben!" his mother immediately chastised him. "Why would you do that?"

Present Ben recognized that there was no anger in Leia when she asked that. Rather, bafflement. She just wanted to understand why he had done it.

Younger Ben did not see it that way. Instead, he heard the voice in his head croon, "Do not feel ashamed, my boy."

"Um…" young Ben awkwardly went as he tried to think of something. He was at odds with who to listen to: the voice in his head, or his own desire to make his mother happy.

He could not decide between the two before a larger duck snapped at his finger, and bit him.

"OW!" he cried, shaking his hand. He then pointed at said duck with his other hand. "It bit me!"

"Yeah, well you had it coming," his mother remarked after seeing it wasn't a serious injury. "You attacked his mate."

That caught young Ben's interest. It made him forget about the sharp prickling pain in his finger for a moment. "What do you mean, mom?"

"That big duck loves the smaller one," his mother explained. "He will do anything to protect her."

That was fascinating to him at the time. He never had any experiences with such an act of pure selflessness.

"He demonstrates weakness," he heard the voice in his head croon insidiously. "He is vulnerable to her. Should she desire, she could kill him without him even suspecting the betrayal."

It was a point that young Ben was concerned with. What if someone he cared about – someone he trusted – betrayed him like that? He didn't want that to happen, but it was hard to predict something like that.

He looked to his mother. "Well, what if she tried to kill him? Would he still protect her then?"

Leia looked baffled that her son was asking such a question. Where did these thoughts come from? It concerned her, but she answered honestly. "Yes, he would. Because it doesn't matter what they do to you. You'd still do anything for someone you love that much." She then grew a mischievous smile. "Like you, my little troublemaker!"

Leia began to tickle young Ben, and both peeled with infectious laughter. They both got wet from piling into the fountain together, but it didn't matter. They were just too happy to be bothered by that.

Ben wiped a tear from his eye as the memory faded. As much as he had hurt his mother by making it his mission to destroy the Resistance, he still loved her deeply. Now that he had opened up his heart to her love once more, he remembered exactly why he could never bring himself to kill her. She was just… mom. Killing her would've been like cutting out his heart.

And now, he fully understood what his mother meant by her words. He had Rey now, someone he would go to the far reaches of the galaxy for. And, with her descent into darkness, he didn't doubt that she was very dangerous now.

It made him wonder. Was this what Rey had felt like when he was with the First Order? Did she feel this conflicted about being in love with a monster? He could only hope that Rey hadn't become a monster like him.

All of a sudden, he felt a wave of dread shudder through him. He looked up instinctively, away from the sunset towards the darker part of the sky.

Then, he saw it. The unmistakable silhouette of a Star Destroyer emerging from hyperspace just outside of atmosphere.

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Aboard the Mantis in the pilot's seat, Cal felt a wave of dread shudder through him. The Force was screaming out in warning.

The scanners were going off with something they just detected. He looked over to inspect.

"What the hell…" he muttered in disbelief when he saw the ship reported: a Xyston-class Star Destroyer. "I thought you were all gone…"

He looked out the cockpit glass in the direction Ben went off, towards Hanna City. He held up a hand to shield his eyes from the bright sunset.

"Ben," he went in realization.

If he didn't pick him up, then Ben would be killed. Cal still held animosity for him. It would be so easy to just leave him behind and save himself and Merrin.

But he already knew that Merrin would kill him in the most literal sense if he ever did such a thing. Plus, even he had to admit that nobody deserved to be left to die.

"Kriff it," he sighed. Then, louder, he called out, "Merrin, hold onto something!"

He then started the ship and immediately took off.

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"Captain, Chandrila is in range," Lieutenant Lenwith informed aboard the bridge of the Derriphan.

Captain Sabrond could see the prestigious green-blue planet herself. It was the world Senator Mothma had once represented, and thanks to her, it became a planet of rebellion, and a thorn in the Empire's side.

Her former Emperor had put it on the list for planets targeted for destruction by the Death Star II decades ago, but the Rebellion's miraculous victory over Endor put a halt to that. Now, though, her Empress would succeed where her grandfather had failed.

It did not trouble the Captain to give the order to destroy an entire planet and wipe out its entire population. She had done it before with Kijimi.

And she gave that same order now.

"Fire."

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As she made her way around Hanna City, Sienna looked up to see the most peculiar thing. There was a red light that began to grow brighter in the darker sectors of the sky.

But something looked off. She squinted, then immediately her eyes widened in fear.

That was a Star Destroyer. And the light continued to get even brighter.

No… closer.

Then, a massive blast crashed into the earth, and she knew no more.

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Ben could see from the estate the utter annihilation of Hanna City. It only took one massive blow, and the weapon responsible continued firing, its red beam of destruction pummeling the planet into submission. The tidal wave of earth rippled outward from the point of impact, spreading as the surface of the planet crumbled before his very eyes.

He ran the other way, his mind filled with the certainty that he was going to die here, alongside his home world, reduced to nothing but ashes floating through space. And what good did it do to think differently? Nobody had ever come back for him before besides Rey. And there was no chance in all the Corellian hells that she was coming back for him now.

Just as he began to run for the bridge, the bridge collapsed. He didn't even feel despair at that. More annoyance, because of course his luck would result in this. When had he ever had any good fortune in his life? He was cursed from the moment he was born.

But then he heard engines approach. It was the Mantis, flying towards him.

Then, he took greater notice, and even felt deeply appreciative, when it stopped close enough to him and dropped its ramp. The distance was too far for anyone without the Force to make that jump, but Ben could make it.

Calling upon his connection to it, he used the Force to jump high into the air, up onto the ramp. He nearly lost his balance when a second blast cracked into the planet, but he made his way back onto the ship with no issues beyond that.

"Get us out of here!" he called towards the cockpit, leaning on a handle on the side of the ship as he panted heavily.

"Anywhere specific?" came Cal's voice as he retracted the ramp from the pilot's seat. Panicked trills from BD-1 chastise him for even bothering to think of a destination at all at a time like this.

"Anywhere but here!" Ben answered.

Time was a luxury they did not have. Especially when the tidal wave of earth was nearly upon them, and blocking any escape towards the west, the direction of the sunset.

So Cal flew east instead, and decided to gamble a little bit. Normally he wouldn't even think of doing this maneuver, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

He reached up and activated the hyperdrive. Though still inside the rapidly collapsing atmosphere of Chandrila, the Mantis shot away into hyperspace.

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Captain Sabrond watched stone-faced as Chandrila collapsed in on itself and became nothing more than scattered ashes. There was not a hint of remorse or regret for the dense population she had just exterminated with nothing more than a single spoken word. Rebel scum deserved no sympathy.

"Captain, it appears a small luxury yacht from the planet has just jumped into hyperspace," Lieutenant Lenwith informed her.

"Let it go," she commanded, waving the concern off. "It is no threat." She then turned towards the pit. "Get me a line to our Empress."

Her comms officer nodded. Within seconds, a giant blue hologram glowed throughout the bridge.

Captain Sabrond kneeled, her first disrespectful encounter firmly in mind as she bowed her head submissively.

"Captain Sabrond," she heard her Empress' slithery whisper. "What news do you report?"

"My Empress, your will has been done. Chandrila has been destroyed," the Captain reported.

Her Empress' voice seemed to drip in poisoned honey at the news. "Good. Good," she crooned, the satisfaction evident. "You did well."

She felt pride at her Empress' praise. Looking up at her, she saw her Empress' face looming over her own, but now she felt honored to be under her command. She was trained all her life to serve the Empire, and now she would use every extent of it to serve her Empress and carry out her will.

"Come to Coruscant," Rey barked out her command. "Remain in orbit and await further orders."

With that, the hologram of Rey faded. After Captain Sabrond stood back up, she looked to her Lieutenant.

"Set course for Coruscant."

Lieutenant Lenwith nodded and proceeded to do just that.

The Star Destroyer's crew worked together like a well-oiled machine. In almost no time at all, the Derriphan shot away into hyperspace.

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There's chapter ten! In this, Ben has a strange interaction with Rey's former lightsaber, Merrin and Cal have an argument, Ben has an eye-opening chat with a stranger, he relives a past memory, the Derriphan destroys Chandrila, and Ben, Cal, and Merrin (and BD-1) narrowly escape with their lives.

Sienna actually is a canon character. She's the daughter of Ostar and Mirienna, who have a myriad of Force Echoes pertaining to them on Zeffo in Jedi: Fallen Order. You even meet Mirienna on Kashyyyk. If you talk to her enough, she eventually says that her daughter made it to Chandrila to be with Mirienna's father. At the time, she was a baby, so around the sequel era she'd be in her middle ages.

If anyone's an Avatar: The Last Airbender fan, then Ben's memory might seem a little familiar to you. I was very inspired by the flashback of Zuko and his mother feeding the turtle ducks. I thought it was so appropriate, especially considering just how similar Ben and Zuko are. Zuko has the very best redemption arc out of all redemption arcs, and I feel Ben could've had that as well, had anyone besides Chris Terrio and Colin Trevorrow written Episode IX.

Speaking of, that's the ultimate reason why I think the Duel of the Fates script is worse than TROS. It's pretty hard to top TROS when it comes to how terribly a film can spit on TLJ's development and brilliance, but Duel of the Fates somehow manages to be even worse. It's worse thanks in large part to how it treats Kylo Ren. In that script, he became the ultimate villain and totally irredeemable. But because of TLJ, we know he's not really like that. And let's also remember how they went even farther down the path of trying to make Rey be another Luke in that script. As if TROS didn't do that enough in its own right.

Ha… I don't think I'll ever be able to stop ranting about Episode IX. Just HOW do you screw up this epically?

Well on that bombshell, I hope you enjoyed. Give this a favorite and follow, and don't be shy to let me know your thoughts in a review!