A/N: For those asking, yes, Sakura's current outfit is—or will be, when the tailoring is done—basically her Shippuden one, if you mentally exchange the medic's pouch with her knife rig and add a red-and-white shemagh tied loosely around her neck.
Kill Your Heroes
-Chapter Eleven-
Scopophobia (Part II)
Sakura was in the middle of a dream where she was being slowly suffocated by a remorseless, faceless opponent when some part of her mind registered that the pressure on her chest was real. That alarmed her enough to drive her up out of sleep, eyes going wide and then narrowing as she squinted into the grey light of early dawn.
She didn't have to look very hard. Pakkun was right there, his rump planted solidly on her sternum, staring at her expectantly. A very strange sound, somewhere between a noise of surprise and a groan, escaped her. Geck was probably the closest phonetic equivalent.
"Don't be like that, Sakura," he said. "Especially since you got to wake up to this face."
This time, it was no mistaking that it was a groan and Pakkun had to scramble over her side as she rolled over onto her belly, laying still for a moment with her face buried in her pillow. The sharp immediacy of the dream was fading. Unlike some of her nightmares, it would probably be almost forgotten by the time she finished washing her face.
Giving her best impression of a cat stretching, Sakura managed to escape the last grasping fingers of sleep before she tossed the covers over Pakkun and stepped out of bed. Where she almost tripped over Guruko, who wagged his tail without lifting his head.
"How did all of you even get in here?" she asked the room at large. She'd suspected yesterday's respite wouldn't last, so she wasn't outright surprised, but she'd thought Kakashi-sensei would give her more warning.
"We're ninja too, you know," Urushi answered. "If it needs done, we'll find a way to do it."
Shiba snickered. "Like letting bossman open the door for us."
Akino sighed noisily. "Some mysteries are better left unexplained," he said bitingly to Shiba.
Who immediately maintained that manipulating Hatake Kakashi was a trick worthy of praise. She left them to their low-voiced squabbling, instead running through her much-abbreviated morning routine. Sakura had realized on about day two of Kakashi-sensei's 'walking the dogs' training that it was pointless to put much effort into getting dressed the first time, because it was all going to be a ruin after a few hours anyway. Although she hadn't submitted to the inevitable until the second week in.
But now she washed her face, brushed her teeth, pulled her hair back into a tight ponytail, and made another hazardous trip back across her room to rummage in her closet without even pausing to consider lip gloss or refreshing her nail polish. She'd never thought she would see a time when she was grateful that she wouldn't see Sasuke-kun, but she'd gladly forfeit a good chunk of her mission pay if he never saw her after the ninken had finished with her.
Sakura ended up in civvies that she thought might survive the outing, a three-fourth sleeve top paired with charcoal grey capris that tucked neatly into her new boots.
Seeing her dressed, her pack of escorts rose, yawning and stretching and complaining, but all their tails were wagging as they herded her toward one of the wooded training areas. Well, except Pakkun, who was pretending wounded dignity. Though he unbent enough to inform her gruffly that Kakashi-sensei would meet her at the hospital later that morning, which meant that they'd have to end their session early. His promise that they'd put extra effort into the time they had seemed foreboding.
And she was right.
By the end of the morning, his wounded dignity had recovered and Sakura had lost almost all of hers. She'd been body-checked hard by Bull during a full-out sprint, which had sent her stumbling sideways, which would have been fine except that Shiba happened to be running there. He'd yelped, she'd tumbled, and in the end Sakura had ended up shoulder-deep in a scummy, mosquito infested pond. So one of her arms was now smeared with mud all the way up to her elbow where she'd caught herself and part of her shirt now reeked of eau du stagnant pond water.
She'd worried that she'd hurt Shiba, but aside from an inability to look at her without snickering, he seemed fine.
On the other hand, the scar down her chest was itching. She thought it was mostly physiological, having double-checked for remaining wigglers and nymphs among the sludge—she was really beginning to suspect they'd passed that particular pond on purpose—but that didn't stop it from ratcheting from irritating to all-consuming need as she tried to ignore it. When she couldn't take it any longer, she tugged the collar of her shirt away from it and scratched the section that ran over her collarbone very gingerly with her pinkie.
It was a much wider scar than the one on her face, rougher and redder, though now it only ached at the end of practice and when it was about to rain. She still turned her head to the side to avoid looking at it directly.
That was her only excuse for overlooking the approaching group, because even though her muscles felt like overcooked noodles, she would have had enough energy to make a desperate flight.
As it was, she flinched violently when a familiar voice called out loudly, "Sakura, is that you?"
Sakura hadn't worn her shemagh, because it was still so new that it would be a shame to get it dirty, but she suddenly felt very naked without it as she hastily tugged her collar back into place. But judging by the way Ino was gaping, it was too late for anything but damage control. As her eyes slid away from Ino, she discovered that Shikamaru's brows were raised incrementally, but she couldn't otherwise interpret his expression. And Asuma-sensei was openly surprised. She felt a brief flash of gratitude that Chouji had apparently been determined to finish his bag of chips before reaching the practice field, because he seemed more confused at the reactions of his teammates than anything else. Realizing that she still had her hand clenched over her shoulder, she let it drop to her side.
"And who else would I be, pig?" Sakura snapped defensively.
She immediately felt a little guilty when Ino bristled, but her embarrassment at having been seen overrode it. It wasn't just the scars, though those were bad enough. She was filthy and she smelled and her future was full of mornings where she was harried by dogs and missions where she or someone else stood to die.
And Ino...
Ino was pretty even without artifice. She was the Yamanaka on a team tailored to make the best use of her talents, which wouldn't ever leave her stranded on a battlefield.
Unfair, Sakura thought spitefully, before guilt made her flinch away from that thought. Whatever they were now, Ino had been her best friend through a very rough portion of her life. And what she'd gone through in Wave wasn't something she would wish on anyone.
Her hand had crept up until she was clutching at her upper arm again, lost in her own thoughts, when she realized that Ino was peering at her with concern. She was a lot closer than she had been, probably having stomped closer to give Sakura a piece of her mind. She'd always been like that.
"Sakura," Ino said slowly, "those scars..."
And there was the question she'd braced herself against from the moment she'd recognized the voice as Ino's. She still flinched, regardless.
If it had been just the two of them, she might have answered more honestly, but even though Shikamaru and Chouji were Ino's close childhood friends, Sakura only knew them as classmates. Asuma-sensei was as good as a stranger to her. So she shrugged, the show of bravado very brittle, but it was the best she could do. "Sorry," she said curtly, "I have something I need to do."
And with that flimsy excuse, she bolted.
[Kill Your Heroes]
Sakura had gone home, showered and dressed with a lot more care than she had that morning, and still found herself twenty minutes earlier than Kakashi-sensei. Usually waiting on him wasn't actively annoying, as it gave her time to try and make conversation with Sasuke-kun, but being late to an actual appointment set her nerves on edge.
Well, technically they weren't late yet, but Sakura had always been the type to arrive a little early, so that she never looked rushed or frazzled, and because she was the kind of student and daughter that was sensitive to adult approval. Inconveniencing hospital personnel registered to her as a very bad idea, but Kakashi-sensei arrived at the last minute and filled out the necessary paperwork with a nonchalance that made her want to shout at him. But they were in public and he was her teacher, so she didn't. It helped that the nurse was regarding him with a kind of amused, knowing tolerance.
But as they were led down a hallway, all her irritation was washed away by nervous anticipation. She fidgeted with her hands as the waited atop the examination table, but luckily, or perhaps as a result of their last-minute appearance, they weren't made to wait long.
The woman who slid the door open was average in height, pretty enough in the normal way of things, with long blonde hair pulled back into a low ponytail, but her smile was kind enough to put Sakura at ease.
"I'm Honda Kotone and I'll be your medic-nin today, Sakura-chan," she said as she entered the room. "You can call me by my first name, I don't mind. I hear you had a little bit too much excitement on your last mission. From what I see here," she glanced down at the clipboard she held in one hand, "it seems like you might be more comfortable if your sensei waited out in reception. Unless you'd prefer he stay?"
Sakura shook her head and Kakashi-sensei sent her a little wave as he shambled out the door, book in hand. She supposed he'd be happy enough to sit and read while he waited.
She glanced back up at her medic-nin, who was regarding the now closed door with the same sort of amusement the nurse had displayed. "That man," she said finally, shaking her head as she turned back to Sakura. "Well," she said, "shall we take a look?"
Even if she was a medical professional and a woman besides, there was something a little awkward about taking off her shirt in front of a stranger. It would have been one thing in a public bath, but it was acutely embarrassing to have anyone stare at her when she was taking her clothes off. Even if her eyes were clearly fixed on the scar.
The woman made a thoughtful noise as she drew closer, setting her clipboard aside as her hand began to glow with green chakra. Sakura was distracted from her embarrassment by the unfamiliar jutsu. They'd been taught in the Academy that it was very rare for chakra to have a visible manifestation that wasn't an elemental one.
Seeing her interest, the medic-nin explained. "This is the most basic and flexible of the medical jutsu. You can use it both as a diagnostic tool, like I'm going to now, or to heal."
Sakura tried to sit very still as Kotone-sensei ran her hand the length of the scar. She hummed thoughtfully, before saying, "Your doctor didn't do a bad job of it, considering she probably doesn't have a lot of experience with these sorts of injuries. A few sessions and we'll have it good as new." Sakura was surprised when her hand came up to brush across the scar at the corner of her mouth. "Same with this one."
Sakura blinked, before blurting, "Kakashi-sensei said that the village wouldn't pay to have the one on my face treated."
"Considering that your sensei is Hatake Kakashi, I don't think he was being intentionally mean," Kotone-sensei said as she pulled a wheeled stool up next to the table. "Back when it was still possible to make him sit still long enough to treat him while he's still conscious—and you have no idea how surprised I was that he actually accompanied you in here in the first place—that was the policy. Tsunade-sama's medic program was still in its early years, so there weren't as many medics and those we did have had to focus on getting shinobi back in the field as soon as possible. There wasn't really the time or excess chakra to spare for cosmetic procedures, but nowadays Konohagakure sees the value in having shinobi that don't look like they eat small children for breakfast. You might say it's part of our 'brand'," she said with a laugh. "And for kunoichi especially, we feel that there's no such thing as a cosmetic scar. If for some reason you cannot use a transformation jutsu on a mission, people find scarring on men tremendously less suspicious than on a woman. We do try to talk the shinobi into attending the additional healing sessions, but occasionally they decide a particular scar is 'heroic' or 'manly' and we have to leave it at that."
She rolled her eyes, making her opinion of that clear. "So, to make a long story short, yes, the village will treat that scar. But while I can take care of this one starting today and have it cleared up in a few sessions, we have a specialist who does facial and burn scarring. Facial skin is especially prone to discoloration after healing and you'll spend a lot more of your life with it uncovered than anything else, so we turn it over to someone with a really light touch. And while I'll have them make you an appointment, you probably won't get in to see her until after the exams are finished. So you'll have to live with it a little longer, alright?"
As Sakura had expected to live with it for the rest of her life, it was more than alright.
[Kill Your Heroes]
Her scar—already noticeably less red and raised—felt a little strange, but Sakura was in higher spirits than had been usual for her these past weeks as she trailed behind Kakashi-sensei to their normal training ground. The matter with Ino kept threatening to break her mood, but she managed to shove it aside for the moment.
But there was something else on her mind and she took the opportunity to ask Kakashi-sensei about it while they were somewhere where the boys wouldn't hear.
"Kakashi-sensei?"
"Aa?" he asked without glancing over at her. Sakura might have been embarrassed to be seen with someone reading porn in public—or she would have been, if anyone had paid Kakashi-sensei any attention—but she couldn't help but be a little jealous of the awareness that let him read and walk through the busy streets of Konoha without bumping into anything or anyone.
"The chunin exams...are we going to participate in them?"
She doubted it, as she was under the impression that most genin remained genin for a much longer period of time than they'd been together, but Kakashi-sensei had also allowed them to stay in Wave after he'd known about Zabuza. What that said about his expectations for them scared Sakura if she thought about it too much.
Kakashi-sensei made a thoughtful humming noise. "Sensei is still considering it, so you hold off on discussing it with the boys. There's a little something we need to test first."
"What?"
"You'll see," was his answer.
Sakura battled complicated feelings about the possibility of being entered into the chunin exams all the way to the red bridge that had somehow become the unofficial 'waiting on Kakashi-sensei' location for Team Seven. Both the boys looked surprised to see them.
"Eh?!" Naruto exclaimed. "Kakashi-sensei's kinda on time! What is this?!"
Kakashi-sensei sighed theatrically. "Nothing I do ever makes you happy, does it?"
"You sometimes make me wake up really early and then show up really late," Naruto replied with a scowl.
"Ah, I do, do I?" Kakashi-sensei said, his tone as bland as if it would never occur to him that they'd find it irritating.
"You do!" Naruto confirmed, hands coming up to clutch at the air. "I could still be sleeping or at least learning cool jutsu, but nooo, you just make me wait with this bastard," he said, thrusting both hands toward Sasuke-kun, whose own scowl deepened.
"Idiot," Sasuke-kun muttered, not quite under his breath.
Kakashi-sensei intervened before that could start a whole new round of arguments. "Maa, maa, let's all be friendly now. There's something a little different we're going to address in training this afternoon."
Naruto tilted his head to one side. "...you aren't talking about teaching us a new jutsu, are you?" he asked skeptically.
"Not really, no. It's more a teamwork exercise."
"Do we gotta?" Naruto whined. "We did just fine before."
"Yes. Though this is primarily an exercise for Sasuke and Sakura."
Sakura brightened at this news, stealing a glance at Sasuke-kun to see what he thought of it. His expression hadn't changed much from earlier, but she comforted herself with the knowledge it was Naruto he was displeased with, not her. As if sensing her gaze, his eyes turned toward her and some of the severity disappeared from his expression.
There was never any need for the other members of Team Seven to demand explanations, as Naruto had the market cornered. "Why the two of them?" he whined and he sounded a little hurt by his exclusion. Sakura was more eager for the chance to work with Sasuke-kun than she was prepared to feel empathy for him, especially as the boys had spent most of their time in Wave sparring when they hadn't been coordinating their abilities in actual battles. So far, they'd been more a team of two, with Kakashi-sensei and Sakura acting independently.
But what Kakashi-sensei said next slaughtered her eagerness.
"Because at the core of Uchiha-style ninjutsu is the Katon. And I doubt he'd be generous enough to learn to fight without it."
His words might have been for Naruto, but his single eye was fixed on Sakura.
It was the first time she'd ever wished that Sasuke-kun was somewhere, anywhere else than right beside her.