Chapter Eight
For a moment, she thinks she imagined it.
Tatsuya is still watching the sunlight filter through the trees. Specks of light catch on his inky lashes as he blinks. His face is calm, composed.
I like you.
She doesn't say anything. He doesn't seem to expect her to. They sit in silence for a moment, then Tatsuya sighs.
"You don't want anything from me," he says simply. "You don't try to make me talk. And I'm comfortable around you, because you don't seem to expect anything from me. That's why I like being friends with you."
Michi doesn't say anything. Her heart is still thudding painfully in her chest, but it feels hollow.
Tatsuya still isn't looking at her. His crystalline eyes are gazing up at the sky, far, far away.
Oh, she thinks numbly, trying to drown out the hollow thumping in her ears. So that's why you approached me first. That's why I'm the only other girl besides Sayuri that you talk to.
So that's why you don't treat me like Sayuri.
Tatsuya closes his eyes. She hears his breathing even out. Most days she would prop her chin on her knees and watch the sunlight dance over his face, but right now she doesn't want to be anywhere near him. There's a sick, hollow feeling in her gut.
We are friends, she tells herself firmly. That's what I wanted, isn't it? To be friends with them? To actually matter to them? We're friends, aren't we? Aren't we?
Just friends. Until this story plays out…
She had thought, for a while now, that she could at least change her role. That she could be something more than the side character, than Sayuri's best friend, than the girl who lives across the hall. Even if that something was just being someone who was more than just the heroine's best friend. Someone who mattered. Someone who had the freedom to maybe, one day, be more than just a side character…
She feels sick.
I can't break out of this story.
I didn't want to break out of this story anymore. I like it here. Even with the stupid drama, and the girls who hate me just because I'm friends with Sayuri, and the boys who say mean things because I'm an ugly duckling next to her. I like Sayuri. I like having a best friend who studies with me, and watches anime with me, and talks to me. I like being wanted. The words are tumbling over each other in her mind. I like Nagisa. I like Kaname, even if he's scary at times. I like Jirou, even if he teases me. I like being part of the group. I didn't want to wake up anymore.
…Until now.
Tatsuya is breathing deeply, as if the summer heat has exhausted him even more than usual. She'd never heard him talk so much before, not even to Sayuri.
I like you.
She swallows hard. "Baka," she mumbles, her voice rasping a little. "Now I can't like you."