Author's Note

This is the last 'filler' chapter, the next chapter will be them going back. There is a few things going on in this chapter. This chapter is more humor than horror, but I needed to have some things in between the last chapter and the next one. There is a part involving Lucifer here and a certain dead german leader, which was inspired by a comment by a user named jh831on this story. ;)
The ending of this one is unimportant. There will be a 'special guest' popping up in this one, who most likely will never appear again. The wait and shortness is because I was busy IRL and working with Oscar and the guys. Not much goes on in this chapter.
Hope you enjoy this one.

-RTF

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, Religion, or the Special Guest. He owns himself, and everything in existence.

Warning: Traces of Humor.

Harry Potter was happy, somewhat…

He had a link to his old life, in the form of Neville and Luna. He was proud of Neville's story, and was surprised at the use of a rifle, as he hadn't thought of it. He was slightly disturbed by Luna's story, mainly the part involving a unicorn… it brought back some memories of Voldemort's Wraith. After hearing it all, and learning what had happened in 'his' world, he didn't care really. He had friends, and what seemed to be the few loyal ones he had left… He'd been angry of course when he learned of Lucifer's 'punishment', but knew that was done with. He was disturbed that Hermione just killed Ron when threatened, but he probably is…

"Bloody hell guys, do you think Ron's down here?" Harry asked the two teens beside him. They had been sitting atop the edge of the The Otherworldly Hotel, and staring at the unnatural night, and counting stars when he had the thought. They had learned an interesting thing while in Hell. They literally couldn't die. All the Imp had explained on Harry's first day, his soul could be sucked out… but besides that, death didn't affect him. He'd even jumped off the hotel at one point to prove it.

"In Hell? I'd bet the world on that." Neville said with a snort, even though he'd watched Ronald be killed, brutally at that, he knew in a small part about Ronald's betrayal, and he felt hurt by it. Though Hermione had been his first 'friend', it had been Harry that had branched out to him, and invited him to join his group. He owed Harry for helping him become who he was today. Ronald… had always seemed jealous of him, as if Neville would replace him as Harry's 'Best Mate'. He'd even confronted him in fifth year, telling him to 'lay off' and ' go find his toad'.
Well, he'd left the toad behind, and Ron seemed to leave his neck behind… "I can see him… He's in the Ninth Circle. It's very amusing… he's drowning, but can't die." Luna said, her tone both amused and morbid. It had taken them both a small while to adapt to what seemed to be the 'real' Luna. The personality Luna had before, seemed to be a 'dulled down' version of her normal self. She still had a dreamy aspect to her, but seemed more grounded to reality. She didn't speak of creatures, that part seemed to be replaced by what they had come to know as her 'Seer' side.

"I wonder if Lucifer will let us pay him a visit… I've got a bone to pick with him…" Neville said with a chuckle, following Harry as they entered the elevator. He smiled slightly, he had removed the speaker in the elevator the night before. They hadn't chosen to leave immediately, they'd decided to relax a small bit, as they had just come from a stressful war. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind, Luci's all about punishment… " Luna added cheerfully, humming what seemed to be a funeral march under her breath.

"Well, let's go ask him then." Harry proposed as they exited the elevator, and headed for the lobby doors which still had a grudge against them, and had seemed to have grown razor-sharp teeth.
"It seems he's busy, but not too much." Luna muttered, as she looked in what they assumed was the direction of Lucifer's palace. Harry and Neville merely shrugged once again, as she informed them of otherwise impossible knowledge.
"Thanks Luna." Harry muttered, thankful in a way.
"You're welcome Harry."

"My Lord, I know that this is your stress relief time… but Potter and his friends are here for council… " The Adviser muttered to his lord, hoping that he wouldn't have to sew his head back on later. The boy had arrived, and the Adviser had been forced to interrupt his lord.

"Harry is here? Alright," Lucifer said, leaving the room he'd been in, only to hear a stream of German swears shoot in his direction. "Adolf! Don't you fucking move! I'm busy, and if you leave or take that dress off… Another pineapple is going up there…" Lucifer threatened, pulling a pineapple out of nowhere. "Ja Meister" Called a weak voice.

"Good… Where's Harry?" Lucifer asked, focusing once more on his adviser. The Adviser waited until Lucifer finished pressing his suit, before answering.

"Throne Room, they wish to torture Ronald Weasley…" "Oh, Pineapple time, AND torture! Is Elohim coming later on to let me chop his head off?" Lucifer asked, spiked smile on his face.

"Um… no?"

"Damn." Lucifer muttered, before heading to meet with his favorite subject, and grant him access to the circle.

"That's Ron?" Harry Potter asked, looking down at the skinny blue redhead under the ice.
Lucifer had dropped them off at the Ninth Circle, the circle dedicated to those guilty of treachery. The punishment he explained, was to be trapped underwater, and held under by ice. What remained of Ronald Weasley, was a thin, blue skeleton with a wisp of red hair. "Ronald Bilius Weasley, that is correct." Lucifer answered, watching the boy struggle under the ice.

"Why doesn't he quit?" Neville muttered, standing atop the spot Ronald was under. Ronald seemed so far gone, that he didn't recognize a single one of them, his only focus being to break free from the icy depths. "He can't. His mind is broken, the only thing keeping him alive is his desire to be warm, thus he can't give up, as when he does, he dies. In Hell, if you die, you come back. He literally can never stop, he does, he ends up right back here." Luna explained, smirking as Ronald started smashing his head against the blood-stained ice.

"I… don't think we need to do anything else." Harry said, watching his 'once' friend endure eternal torture. "Yes we do, we can never do enough. He benefited and looked forward to your death Harry… If he could, he'd have killed you himself. He NEVER was your friend." Luna sputtered in anger, outraged that Harry was showing sympathy to someone who would never return it to him.

"I…"

"Harry, she's right. You know she is, so just give it up. I think we're done here, let's go find Lucifer." Neville said, grabbing the raven by the shoulder and directing him towards the large ship they arrived on. It apparently was this circle's equivalent to the main Stilts ship, but belonged to the greatest pirate anyone had heard off.

"Yar! I be setting off soon mateys! Let us set sail to Old Roger's Domain!" Edward Teach yelled at them from atop his ship, waving them over.

"We're coming Captain!" Harry yelled, jogging up the plank with his friends, leaving the icy remains of the first traitor behind…

"Goodnight my council, I have news to announce. I have chosen my Hellsetters and I shall return them tomorrow. I have chosen their times, and adjusted their timelines. Before I begin the process, I have taken the time to convene with you all, are there any questions?" Lucifer said, daring his council members to speak against him. The first to speak was the Incubus Leader.

"My Lord, who are your chosen Hellsetters?" The Incubus, Motnurte, asked, wanting to warn his troops to not attempt any actions on his lord's chosen.

"Harry James Potter, Neville Joel Longbottom, and Lunar Jacqueline Lovegood. 1990's." Lucifer asked, his tone advising every creature present to avoid each teen, the consequence being terrifying.

"Have they been trained my Lord?" Ztodat, his general asked, utter respect in his voice.

"No, but you, your men, and Harry's chosen council will be assisting them."
"Yes my Lord."

"Excuse my curiosity my Lord, but to which times will you need to be delivering them to my Lord?" Aramar, the Timestand asked, wondering if he'd have to solve any possible events regarding their arrival times.

"1985, 1987, 1990 respectfully. Any other questions?" Lucifer asked them, widely ignored at the waste of time, but appreciative that his council were considerate to his charges.

They each stayed in silence, so Lucifer concluded their meeting, each of them leaving for their respective places of control. Lucifer headed to his chambers, looking forward to his next venture, and maintaining his plan's ideas.
He had the framework complete, and was finalizing any last thoughts. He took a moment to think over any possible outcomes as well. At a last sudden thought, he decided to work on a way to conceal their progress from Elohim's prying eyes as well…
Can't have God popping in to ruin everything, now can you?

"God, the Potter's won't stop trying to attack me, could you order them to stop?!" Albus Dumbledore basically screamed at his creator, his tone like that of an arrogant kindergartner, and very much like that of the youngest Malfoy. Elohim, or God instead ground his teeth at the man. He regretted dearly his decision to take the man, as the man spent more time badgering him then Adam. He actually wondered to himself, what would have happened if he'd kept the youngest Potter, but quit that thought quickly. Elohim had known Lucifer for many years, and he knew his old 'friend' would never give a soul back. After thinking sadly about the decision, he turned back the man he hated.
"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, I've encouraged them. They hate you, and frankly… I myself, have started to hate you. Now, go and sit in your Hogwarts, and leave the Potters and I alone…. Or do you want to move downstairs? I'm sure Harry will give you a very warm welcoming…" Elohim asked the man, a grin very similar to that of his counterpart graced his face. Dumbledore shook in fear, before muttering an apology and leaving Elohim's palace. After the bearded man left, Elohim sat back in his chair.

I think that man's turning me off Beards… I wonder where my shaver is? I don't believe I've seen it since… 1? Elohim sighed, and ran his hand through his beard. I wonder if Jesus has one I can use? I might have to go down there, and ask him. What does him call himself this century? Norris or something? Never mind it.
With that, Elohim changed his appearance slightly, and shifted himself to Earth.

Elohim now stood in front of a large ranch, with a field of crops, a barn, and a simple three-story farm house. Elohim walked down the long path to the home, before reaching the house. He knocked a few times before a tall blonde woman answered.

"Can I help you…?" The woman asked him skeptically, looking closer at him.
"I've come to talk to Mister Norris." Elohim stated, wondering who the woman before him was.
"Great… a fan," She said with contempt, before looking at something within the house. "Honey! Another one of your fans here!" After several moments, a grizzled looking man walked over, and took her place.
"Thanks Gena… How can I help y-… Father?" The man asked in shock, staring at Elohim.

"Hello my son, I was wondering if I could borrow your shaver?"

"Chuck who is this man?" The woman asked her husband, slightly afraid of the stranger. Her husband's father, Ray was suppose to be dead.

"This… is my Father."

While I live among the British, you must remember I'm American. On the topic of Jesus, did any body expect me to make Jesus Chuck Norris? No? XD

Elohim is supposedly an old alternate name for God, similar to how Lucifer is an alternate name for The Devil. Yes Dumbledore is so annoying, that God, the loving forgiving being he is, hates him. I wish I could have three genres for this, as most likely this story will be Horror, Supernatural, and Humor. I like to imagine Elohim and Lucifer as old buddies in a sense, who dislike each other, but tolerate the other. Like angry neighbors, they hate each other, but must coexist together. Most likely Chuck-Jesus won't appear again, but can you just imagine a fight between Super-Demon-Harry and Super-Holy-Chuck Norris?! It'd be awesome!

Well, I must go for now. Sleep calls for me.

Goodbye for now.

-RTF