"Excuse me?! Have you seen a girl with long, pink hair?"
Blue eyes, wide and frantic with worry, stared into the face of a confused passer-by, words tinged with desperate hope. Miku held her clenched hands pleadingly in front of her chest in a silent prayer that she would finally get the answer she was hoping for, that she would be able to find her missing friend.
That she would be able to fix her mistake.
Sadly, the man simply shook his head no, a look of quiet regret covering his features at the crestfallen expression marring the young idol's face at his response, the man awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck at the strange situation he found himself in. It's not every day that a cute girl, one that also looked strangely familiar, ran up to you in search of help. So late at night no less.
Dropping her hands limply to her side, the heavy weight resting on her shoulders growing heavier as it continued to weigh her down further, Miku gave the man a quick bow, whispering a quick thank you before rushing off, twin tails flowing behind her as she ran further down the road. Her rushed footsteps echoed loudly in her ears as she frantically whipped her head back and forth, blue eyes hopeful, desperate, to find any trace of her missing friend.
'How could I have let this happen?' Miku mentally chastised herself as she peeked down another alley, shaking her head when she only found the same barren and empty side street, devoid of any signs of life, the flickering lights of a singular vending machine casting it in a lonely glow. Clenching her fist in frustration, Miku quickly moved on, the worry gnawing painfully in her chest growing more and more as the minutes ticked by without any signs of Luka.
If only she had reacted faster. If only she had noticed the growing fear in the pink-haired girl's eyes, sapphire orbs darkened by mortified dread and horror. She could have helped her. She could have gently assuaged the rising fear that her reclusive friend must have been feeling at that moment, let her know everything was ok. But, like the fool she is, Miku had been too caught up by the rising swell of emotions bubbling up within her chest after Luka's unexpected kiss to notice just how badly her shocked reaction must have looked to her pink-haired friend.
In her blind joy, Luka had been left to succumb to hopeless despair.
That's why she couldn't stop. She couldn't take a single moment to rest her aching legs, to catch her breath, to soothe the small scuffs and scratches burning painfully against the delicate skin of her feet. Her body was screaming at her to stop, to rest, that she couldn't keep going like this. But Miku pushed on, determination and concern driving her forward as she inquired at various stores, searched the streets high and low, and asked anyone she could find for help.
Miku couldn't leave Luka out here, alone and scared, the young idol's stomach churning at the thought of just how much mental anguish the poor girl must be enduring right now. The twin-tailed girl knew she couldn't fully understand what was going on within the pinkette's mind, of just how much pain and trauma she must suffer with every day, but she knew that, right now, Luka was hurting. She could only hope to find her as quickly as possible, to be there for her, to make everything better, and hopefully help soothe her friend's worries and fears.
"I hope you're ok, Luka-chan." Miku softly whispered as she lightly blew onto her numb fingers, the young idol lightly patting her cheeks, the skin feeling icy beneath her touch. "It's so cold tonight."
"I'm such an idiot."
Soft words, laced with searing venom, drifted from between torn lips, the gentle rush of the nearby river swallowing any sound beneath its greedy current. A lonely figure sat curled up at the riverbank, body trembling under the weight of her heaving sobs as her fingernails dug deep trenches into her skin, knees pulled tightly into her chest. A never-ending stream of sorrowful and hateful tears fell from dull, blue eyes, a painful lump in her throat causing her to choke on silent screams, the young pinkette gasping desperately for air.
She was drowning.
'You're disgusting! How fucking stupid can you be!' Shaking her head, small frightful twitches making her long, pink hair briefly whip about, Luka tried to banish the intrusive thoughts from her mind, but they continued to dig deeper into her brain, like a festering virus. 'Because of your idiotic actions and the twisted pile of shit you call emotions you have probably lost your only friend!'
No. No! It was only a mistake! Surely Miku would understand. She would listen to her, she would be patient with her. Miku would smile and nod her head as she explained everything, never judging, always willing to hear her out, to try and understand her. It would be ok. It would be ok…
Nothing will ever be ok.
She had fucked up. The one good thing in her life and, like everything in her miserable existence, she had to fuck it up! Miku had been nothing but sweet and kind, and so unbelievably patient, with her throughout her many breakdowns and the complete farce of what she called 'social skills'. All Luka did was take and take from the young idol, never giving her back anything of worth, except for more of her emotional baggage.
What made her think she was allowed to take her love as well?
She deserved nothing to be cast back into the shadows of her room to wallow in the cold emptiness of her existence, locked away for everyone's good. Alone, away from all the anguish she inflicted upon the world. It was what was good for everyone. Everyone associated with her has suffered nothing but pain and heartache, a cancerous tumor upon their lives, eating away at them until everything that made them happy was reduced to rotting death and pus.
Her father had been smart enough to cut himself free from her before it could infect him too.
Biting down roughly onto the skin of her legs to stifle her cries, the taste of blood briefly lighting up her taste buds, Luka knew there was nothing she could say to refute any of these thoughts. They were right. Everything would be better if she just disappeared, if she just ran away from everything, from everyone, and never came back.
If…if she died, then no one would suffer anymore. They would be free. Free from the burden of her and her parasitic existence. She would be free. Free from all the pain. There would be no more hurt.
No more loneliness.
No more disappointment.
No more fear.
No more sadness.
No more Luka.
"No!" Placing her hands over her ears with a silent cry, Luka pushed her palms roughly against her head, pain radiating sharply from her skull as she tried to force the voices down, to make them go away. "Please stop!"
'You were stupid for ever believing someone like her could ever like you back. What do you think you could possibly offer her that millions of others couldn't? Nothing! You are rotten. All you would do is slowly poison her while you are forced to watch her wither away. Just like your mother. No one wants you! No one should be infected by you ever again! You should just disappear! You should just die! Once you are gone, when the world is free from you, then, finally, Miku can truly be happy.'
Curling closer in on herself, her extremities feeling numb as the cold, night air seeped into her bones, Luka felt truly alone and helpless. Her body felt empty, almost lifeless, as her intrusive thoughts chipped away at her bit by bit, a hollow feeling carving its way through her chest. Slowly, Luka felt her willpower wane, her sapphire orbs growing glassy as her thoughts threatened to swallow her whole.
"Please," whispering softly to herself, voice weak and broken, Luka called out for help from the only person she knew could save her from herself, "Miku."
Ragged breaths burnt painfully in Miku's chest as she ran alongside the river, sweat matting teal strands to her brow as she frantically whipped her head back and forth, blue orbs widening in shock when she spots a shock of pink in the corner of her eye.
"Luka!" Calling out the pink-haired girl's name, her powerful voice carrying over the crashing waves, Miku quickly slid down the side of the hill to the river's edge, relief flooding through her at having found her friend and that she seemed to be unhurt. "Luka!"
Despite her desperate cries, amplified from years of vocal training, Luka failed to hear the young idol's approach, hands still pressed firmly against her ears, the social recluse completely lost in the mire of her mind. Rushing to the pink-haired girl's side, the young idol immediately fell to her knees before her despondent friend, Miku lunging forward to pull Luka into a crushing hug.
A soft gasp of shock passed Luka's lips at the sudden contact and the wonderful feeling of warmth surrounding her, her sapphire orbs flying open to blankly stare at the surrounding neighborhood in wide-eyed disbelief. The pressure on the sides of her head slowly lifted, arms falling limply to her side, her heartbeat accelerating as teal-colored hair sparkled brilliantly in the corner of her eye.
"M…Miku?"
"Luka!" The moment the idol's name passed her lips, Miku let out a simultaneous cry of joyous relief, a stray tear rolling down the twin-tailed girl's cheek as she hugged the pinkette tighter, the worry twisting her heart finally loosening its grip. She was safe. She was ok.
Luka was still here.
Eyes opening wide, an almost imperceptible smile curled on Luka's lips as fresh tears sprung forth, a brief feeling of immense joy radiated throughout her body. That feeling slowly turned to dread, shock and horror crossing her features, her fingers starting to tremble as just who was hugging her registered fully in her mind.
"NO!" Flailing her arms wildly, Luka immediately began to struggle, blue eyes wide and frantic as the pinkette tried to pull herself away, fingernails fruitlessly digging into the grass beneath her. "No! Let me go! Please!"
"I'm sorry!" Heartrending cries tore from Luka's throat, voice hoarse with desperation, her head raised to the sky as she let out a soulful plea for forgiveness. "Please I'm sorry! Don't leave me, please!"
Blood mixed with dirt as Luka's cracked and broken fingernails continued to hopelessly scratch at the ground, the cold numbness permeating her body dulling the pain. But Miku held fast, her grip on the struggling girl only tightening as she pulled Luka closer, the idol's features hidden by the shadows cast by the nearby streetlights.
"Don't hate me!" Wild blue eyes stared desperately toward the night sky, stars lost beneath the glowing haze of the city lights, the pinkette helplessly seeking help, to quell the raging storm in her mind. "I didn't mean it! It was all a mistake! I want to take it back!"
"Please…" Burying her face in her hands, grime and blood smearing her face, Luka's tears fell unabated as she hoped, prayed that all this pain would go away. That Miku would release her of this torment. "Please make it all go away."
"I don't want to be alone again!" Luka screamed to the heavens, the social recluses voice breaking as she released every last bit of anguish and pain to the sky, tears leaving thin streaks on her face as they washed away the blood and dirt.
Holding Luka as she cried, her heart breaking with every pained scream and choked sob, Miku lightly placed her hand on the back of her distraught friend's head, gently guiding it into the crook of her neck. Miku simply held the weeping girl, her fingers softly running through Luka's pink hair, silently comforting her as she repeatedly begged for forgiveness from the idol.
Luka's pleas slowly dropped to a breathless whisper, her shoulders shaking under her heavy sobs as Miku slowly stopped her gentle ministrations, the young idol pulling herself deeper into the pinkette's embrace. Turning her head, strands of teal tickling the pink-haired recluses frozen skin, Miku placed a gentle kiss upon Luka's tear-stained cheek.
A soft gasp of surprise escaped Luka when Miku's lips pressed against her skin, blue eyes staring into the distance in mute disbelief, her mind falling silent as it tried to register just what had happened. Pulling back slowly out of the tealette's embrace, the loss of warmth from her skin sending a shiver down her spine, Luka searched her friend's face for an answer, silent tears still rolling down her cheeks. Miku merely gave her a gentle smile in response, the young idol resting her palm softly against Luka's cheek, her eyes twinkling with adoration for the pink-haired girl.
"There's nothing to apologize for." Miku giggled softly as she lightly stroked the shocked pinkette's cheek with her thumb, gently wiping away errant tears trickling from her sapphire orbs, a brilliant smile curling on her lips as she stared into those gorgeous eyes. "You didn't give me a chance to respond earlier."
"Luka. You are absolutely wonderful. You are sweet, kind, and wonderfully adorable. Being with you, all the time we spend together, are some of the happiest moments in my life. I respect you and your strength. You suffer so much, but you keep moving on, you keep searching for that happiness. I know things are not that simple, I know. I know there is a lot I don't know and that I will never be able to fully understand. But, to me, you are strong. Knowing that someone as amazing as you likes me back makes me so incredibly happy."
An uncomfortable heat flushed the young recluse's face a deep crimson, Luka silently mouthing the word 'like' in quiet disbelief as she stared into the beaming face of the twin-tailed idol, Miku lovingly stroking the pinkette's cheek with her thumb. Grabbing one of Luka's hands, the icy fingers warming up in her tender grip, Miku gave the pink-haired girl a brilliant smile as she cradled it safely over her heart.
"I like you too Luka."
A/N: A light in the dark.
A bit of a shorter chapter as Luka struggles with her inner demons, the fallout of the last chapter and the growing fears building over time finally coming to a head for the pinkette. All of her fears and doubts pushing her dangerously close to the edge. Luckily, Miku was able to find Luka and share her feelings with the reclusive girl.
Sorry for the long break between chapters. Easter was a mess and my motivation to do anything was at an all-time low. Though, luckily, this chapter came together very quickly and not just because of its shorter length. It was a fun challenge to have a chapter dedicated mainly to the character's mental states and their reactions to the last chapter. I'll keep trying to keep chapters coming at a semi-regular pace!
Thank you for reading this story and I hope you all look forward to the next one! Have a wonderful day and I love you all!