Chapter 7: You're Home

Finn had no idea why he was even remotely considering Maz's words as she handed him the lightsaber. The mere fact he was taking them seriously was unnerving. He found there was no other logical conclusion save for the obvious.

Give this lightsaber to the man who tried to kill him and Rey. Brilliant idea.

When the Falcon landed on the endless desert planet of Pasaana, Finn and Rose grabbed blasters and nodded to Chewie.

"We'll be back before you know it," Finn said to Chewie, who answered with approval and reached for his bowcaster.

The duo descended down the Falcon's ramp and looked around. Something black in the distance caught Rose's eye.

"Is that the ship?" she questioned.

Finn nodded. "Looks like it."

They walked over to the black ship. In the shade of the wing was a woman with grey hair, a black device in her hand that Finn recognized in a similar vein to Kylo Ren's lightsaber.

"Oh great, more rebel scum," the Knight of Ren rolled her eyes. "Those idiots Ushar and Vicrul just had to be envious of Kylo Ren's powers and some stupid Sith thing. Ugh."

Rose pointed her blaster at the Knight. "Who are you?" she demanded.

The Knight raised her lightsaber, activating it. "Ap'lek Ren. Why are you here?"

"We're here for Rey," Finn said, blaster pointed right alongside Rose's.

"Tch, have fun with that buddy." She took a step forward and was surprised at how unflinching Finn remained. "Oh. You honestly think your friend is just a pet of mine? On the contrary, she has done nothing but order me around and then run off to chase her boyfriend…"

Rose looked at Finn with a raised eyebrow. Finn was not amused at the mention of a boyfriend but he kept his focus on the Knight in front of them.

"Order you around?" Rose asked.

"I am not here of my free will," Ap'lek explained. "Then again I hadn't expected the Last Jedi to be stronger than my former master."

"Where is she?"

"Who knows? She went running off into the desert," Ap'lek pointed in a direction without looking. "Their force signatures are that way."

"Their?" Finn said. "Who is with Rey?!"

"If you cannot figure it out by now there's no hope for you, rebel scum."

Finn went to shoot at her feet as a warning, but Ap'lek anticipated this, freezing him in place with her hand out.

"Finn!" Rose exclaimed. She too was frozen in place, unable to move.

He struggled to make any motion with his hands.

"Oh that's right," Ap'lek snarked. "You're FN-2187, the first traitor to the First Order. Kylo Ren mentioned you."

In his last act of defiance against the First-Order aligned Knight of Ren, Finn moved his hand and slammed Ap'lek into the hull of the ship. Her lightsaber fell out of her grip.

Rose stumbled back, staring in shock and awe at what Finn had just done. "Finn…"

Finn stared at his hand in surprise. That was… No, it couldn't be. He wasn't what he thought he was at that moment.

"I… I'm…"

"You are," Rose said in awe. "You're just like Rey!"

Finn didn't know how to react to this; didn't know how to respond to this revelation.

But he felt it within himself. And something pulled at him. It was the force.

"Rose we gotta get to Rey, now," Finn declared.

"But what about her?" Rose asked, pointing to Ap'lek Ren. "We can't just leave her."

"You're right; she might have something on the First Order."

"Tie her up and have Chewie watch her?"

"Yep."

"Good plan."

Within minutes Chewie was hauling the passed out body of Ap'lek Ren onto the Falcon and Finn followed his gut instincts towards where Rey was.

In the distance, he saw two beams of red and two figures in black dancing around each other.

Finn and Rose poised their guns in case as they watched the duel before them. Finn recognized Rey as the smaller one and Kylo Ren's tall figure was unmistakable. Something was off about his movements. He wasn't trying to kill Rey. No, he was on the defensive and Rey was holding a red lightsaber.

Red meant the dark side. Finn squinted, hoping it was a trick of the blazing light. It was not. The red combined with her new getup of black, it was a new nightmare. She looked like she'd fit in perfectly with Kylo Ren and his Knights.

Rey knocked Kylo's saber out of his hand, taking it, and kicked him down.

Finn panicked, wondering if Rey was actually going to kill him. Somehow he was not too keen on witnessing that. Either it was his conscience, Maz's words, or the force pushing him to defend Kylo Ren of all people, but that didn't matter at the moment.

"Rey!" he screamed in the distance, taking aim at Rey's right side and shooting a mild blast at her.

She looked up in time to see it hit her and reduce her to her knees. Kylo rolled over and got back up.

"Take this!" Finn shouted right at Kylo, using the force to toss the lightsaber at him. Kylo caught it and ignited it, running towards something in the sand that shimmered in the light of the hot sun.

Rey recovered from her injury enough to reach out with her grasp. The object went flying to her hand, narrowly missing Kylo's gut but he side-stepped it in time. With panic evident on her scowling face, she turned her attention to Finn and Rose.

The next thing Finn knew was he was on his back in the sand. His old wound on his back ached, making him see black for a few seconds. Footsteps in the sand rushed over to him. Finn forced himself to sit up, still seeing splotches of black in his vision. When he blinked it away and everything was clear to him, he recoiled in surprise.

Kylo Ren stood in front of him, looking concerned at him and Rose's possible injuries.

"That's not the Rey you know," Kylo answered Rose's query. "But it is her."

Kylo couldn't find himself to really say much else to the two. "What is your name?" he asked the woman.

"Rose Tico," she said while adjusting her clothes. "I'm a friend of Rey's." Ah, that explained how Rey would be talking more friendly than usual when the force connected them. "You're Kylo Ren, right? I've never seen your face before."

He nodded, feeling odd about how he was still referred to as Kylo Ren, but he dismissed it. The presence of Rey in the force faded. She was already leaving the planet and he held no clues as to where she might go next. "You and Finn have a ship?"

Finn stood up, examining Kylo with obvious apprehension. "Yes, why?"

"I need to go after Rey."

Rose seemed enthused by this idea. "Do you know where she is?"

"No."

Her face fell. "No?"

"No," Kylo stated again.

"Well that's just helpful," Finn said. "Why was she attacking you?"

Kylo took a deep breath, trying to calm his flaring temper with all the questions. "She has a Sith artifact on her and it's messing with her mind."

"The Sith are dead though?" Rose said. "That's what I've heard ever since the Empire fell."

He tried to restrain a groan of defeat. There was so much to explain yet time was running short, on both Rey and the Resistance. "I… Look I cannot explain everything right now. Take me back to the Resistance with you, please."

"And how do we know you're not going to trick us?" Finn glared at him. "Or try to kill us."

"As I recall you gave me my grandfather's lightsaber in the heat of the moment. If you're trying to distrust me should have reconsidered, Finn," Kylo snarked. "We're wasting time as it is arguing over this nonsense."

Rose stepped in-between the two. "Right. We need to return to the base. Hux will soon attack and we need to be ready."

Finn kept his glare on Kylo Ren even as they walked back to the ship.

Kylo hesitated and let out a breath at the sight of the Millennium Falcon. Old memories of playing and going on joy rides with his father made his eyes sting and his throat tight. Swallowing those feelings down, he followed Finn and Rose aboard.

An interesting sight greeted him. Ap'lek Ren was tied up on the floor, pouting, and Chewie was sitting on a seat next to her, his usual bowcast in his grip.

There was a stare off for a moment between Kylo and Chewie.

With a sigh, Kylo broke the silence. "Hi, Chewie."

Chewie stood up and put down the blaster. He walked over to Kylo without a single word smack the back of his head.

"Ow," he said, wincing and rubbing the back of his head. "I deserved that."

Chewie spoke a few words before pulling Kylo into a hug. Kylo awkwardly hugged back, not sure if he even deserved the affection after so many years of his terror.

"I'm back, Chewie," Kylo said, most of the words muffled by Chewie's fur. "I'm… I'm sorry."

Sorry for everything. Sorry for killing Han. Sorry for nearly killing Leia. Sorry for nearly obliterating the Resistance. Sorry for driving Rey away into the dark.

Never had an apology meant so many things at once.

Chewie spoke with approval in his tone, releasing Kylo from the hug.

"No, Rey isn't with us," Kylo said.

Chewie answered back sadly.

"I'm getting her back, don't worry Chewie."

Saving Rey was the first step in a long list of things he owed to many.

It was strange being on the Falcon in so many years. How long was it? twenty years or so? When his mother sent him away and his father brought him to Luke? If he had been here months ago he would have felt an unspeakable rage and desire to destroy everything.

Oddly, the Falcon was comforting more than anything. He was at peace, for the moment. He took it upon himself to watch Ap'lek Ren, who sat on the floor with her hands bound. Finn also sat across from Kylo, eying him with suspicion but said nothing.

Ap'lek finally said something. "Where is your girlfriend?" she sneered. "I thought she would have finished the job but could have fooled me."

Kylo's fingers twitched. He wondered how long he could keep up the effort of silencing her if he wanted to. "Why do you care so much, Ap'lek? You betrayed me."

"Because you got soft and weak! You weren't even doing the dark side's bidding anymore. Your light got obnoxiously bright."

"And yet you went to light incarnate and tried to convert her," Kylo said, his thumb and finger curling a little bit. Ap'lek flinched at the sensation. "I would watch your words. You never think before you speak."

He knew Finn was watching him but he quite frankly didn't care. Kylo Ren was still Kylo Ren, even if he no longer wanted to destroy everything and everyone.

Kylo never thought he would have to deal with his knights in this way. It was depressing to think about, but it was necessary. Ap'lek always spoke her mind, which in years previously he was fine with. It was refreshing. Now it just irritated him hearing the thinly veiled jabs at his change of heart and his feelings for Rey.

"Now, you're going to tell me what you know, Ap'lek Ren. And we both know what will happen if you don't give your words willingly," Kylo said.

Finn shifted in his seat before excusing himself to check on the two pilots.

Not the best impressions he had given Finn thus far aside from telling him about the holocron. He would have to work on that later.

For now, he wanted answers.

Ap'lek kept her glare on him but relented to the threats. "Fine, Master," she spat the title out like an insult. "We all noticed you were weak and feeble and no longer following the words of Ren…"

Kylo interrupted her. "Amazing, every word of what you just said was wrong, but continue."

She rolled her eyes. "And Hux was already planning his coup so we went along with it if it meant you were out of power and cornered. But Ushar and Vicrul were the ones who put forth the suggestion that we could turn Rey, as the dark side demanded."

"Ushar is in on Vicrul's insanity?" Kylo said as the cogs turned over the statement in his brain. "But you're not?"

"Tch, you honestly think I would buy into that whole Sith nonsense?"

"So you don't know where Vicrul has been hiding out?"

"No, I don't. Why?"

Kylo said nothing, made no emotion on his face. "Tell me about Hux."

"Oh yeah our new illustrious leader," she snarked. "I don't know who is worse, the self-aggrandizing Armitage or you the brooding prince from what-its."

Did she really have to dig up that fact he was technically a prince from a dead planet? "Does it matter? I'm not the leader, so tell me what Hux is planning."

Or face having it ripped out of her own mind, he added silently. She took the warning.

"Hux is taking those portable cannon plans and making a prototype to aim at the Resistance's base. He started secretly building it weeks before the coup on some other ship."

Kylo thought he had destroyed all the plans for this cannon save for the one copy he kept on hand. Somehow Hux had the foresight to keep those plans hidden away. He had to give the man credit; Hux managed to keep that secret from Kylo. "Where is the money coming from?"

"You know where."

Gangs. Cartels. Slavers. Kylo made damn sure to shut off communications from them during his reign and now Hux was going to undo that too.

It infuriated him to no end that his work for months was being thrown away.

"It is also projected it will be a week or so before the test, or at least that's what his lieutenant said."

Dopheld Mitaka. The officer he had searched his mind through and found him quite susceptible to empathy towards a better cause, and easily followed orders.

One week. Kylo had one week to gain the trust of the Resistance, plan, and execute some sort of solution before the Resistance was faced with a weapon that could leave mass graves in its wake.

As if this day couldn't get any worse.

"So what are you going to do now, Ap'lek," Kylo questioned. "You're a prisoner of the Resistance now, but I can have you released."

"And what would you gain from having me released?"

"One less pain in my side," he muttered darkly. "The Knights of Ren are going to fall apart. They are already falling apart. Ushar and Vicrul are Sith-mad lunatics. The other three are a part of Hux's insanity; you were idiotic enough to think that the Last Jedi wouldn't do something to you. And clearly, according to your perception, I am weak, feeble and no longer following the words of Ren, but I am merely drawing upon the dark side and doing what I wish. Are we in an understanding, Ap'lek?" She nodded. "You can decide to be a prisoner of war, which might mean they will execute you, or I let you go before they even notice. Your choice."

"I'd rather not run around being hunted for war crimes or executed thank you very much," she said, voice haughty.

Exactly the response he was looking for. "Then you help the Resistance."

She narrowed her eyes. "Seriously?"

"You're out of options Ap'lek." He folded his hands. "The Knights of Ren must end. As do the Jedi. And the Sith. And it starts with the Resistance ending this war."

She raised an eyebrow, sitting up a little straighter. "What brought on all this?"

Kylo crossed his arms. "When I chose to kill Snoke."

Ap'lek didn't say anything for the rest of the trip.

Kylo's heart pounded with reality slapping him in the face as they landed in the jungles of Ajan Kloss. He had kept watch of Ap'lek the entire time, making sure that she wouldn't try something—not that she could, he was undoubtedly stronger than her.

But talking and making sure she wasn't going to try any funny business kept him from thinking about the fact he was headed straight to the Resistance.

Headed straight to his mother.

He feared her reactions. Facing Chewie was hard enough, but his mother? He feared what he would even say to her. What she would say to him.

When he was just a mere child still he was plagued by voices, troubled and lashing out with the force. Her response was to send him away. And his response when his father came back for him? A lightsaber in the gut.

Kylo knew this was inevitable, that this was destined to happen the second he saw Rey was falling to the dark side, he just hadn't really thought about the implications of what he was doing. But as Luke said, he was his mother's only hope now.

Rose came over to Kylo, looking at him with sympathy. "We have cuffs for her."

"Good," Kylo said, glancing at Ap'lek with a stoic expression before looking back to Rose. "Don't treat her with anything less but respect."

"Of course," she said before taking a moment to say the next sentence on her mind. "Oh… right um, the General is waiting outside."

His chest was suddenly very tight and his throat dry. Time to face the inevitable.

Kylo stood up, swishing his cape out and made slow steps down the ramp and off the ship.

Chewie was already talking to a small woman with grey hair braided up intricately, just like an Alderaanian would. It reminded him of when he was a child and she would braid his long locks so it would be less of a mess. He liked the mess of his hair, but he sometimes missed having his hair braided. Her long grey robes reminded him of her time in the Senate, when he would hardly see her as she was so busy with work, but once in a while she would come home to him and ask how her son was.

All the regrets rushed back to him, making him dizzy.

His steps were slow; eyes of some passersby on him. He paid them no attention as his focus was squarely on his uncle Chewie and his mother Leia.

Chewie stepped back, allowing Leia to look at Kylo Ren in his entirety. A hint of surprise was in her eyes, but she hid it well.

He swallowed as he took more steps closer to his mother. He towered over her, and at any other moment, he would be trying to be intimidating.

A warm smile graced her lips as she extended her hand to him. "My son."

He took it, trying to fight tears glistening over. "Mom?" The word was choked, stifled by his throat.

"Ben, you've come home."

Her voice was soft and understanding.

"Can we go… Somewhere to talk?" His voice was shaking. Too many emotions. Too many regrets. Too many.

Leia nodded, leading him through the Resistance Base and to her private quarters. She sat him down on a bench and took one long look at her son.

Kylo remembered the last time he saw her she still had strong traces of mahogany color in her braids and fewer wrinkles lining her eyes. But war and age showed through. Her hair was greyed and worry lines were added.

He had no idea what to say. He felt there was nothing to say. Him being here was enough of a statement. What was he even expecting? Forgiveness? A slap to the face? Hatred? But she didn't hate him. She didn't.

"Mom… I…" he said, trying to find the right words.

"I hope, Ben," Leia spoke, stopping him before he could really say anything. "That you can forgive me."

He stared at her incredulously. She was asking for his forgiveness? "What?"

"I failed you as a mother."

"Mom, why? You should be hating me. I… I killed…"

"I know, Ben. But I forgive you because you are here, intending to set things right. You've always had a loving heart Ben, and I am sorry that I didn't see it the moment I sent you away." Leia placed a hand on his cheek, her touch so warm and caring. "I know Rey forgives you too."

One tear escaped, dripping down his face. "But… I…" His voice was so hoarse; words almost failing him.

"But what?"

Two tears. "I lost Rey. She's gone."

"No one is ever really gone, Ben."

He couldn't hold it in anymore. Ben Solo embraced his mother for the first time in too long, tears flowing down his cheeks. He quietly sobbed into her shoulder, like a child clinging for support and comfort.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, Mom."

Her hands stroked his hair to soothe his aching heart. "I'm just happy to have you back."

A/N: You bet re-watching the ending to KH2 inspired the title for this XD.

Morally Grey Ben Solo is my favorite to write.

Agent N: Oh it's only uphill from here on the intensity haha. Bold of you to assume that I wouldn't be bringing in Obi-Wan and Anakin ;D.