Chapter 9: Space, This is What I Chose
Kylo was in an endless hallway. It went on and on, a stretch of never-ending darkness. The cold seeped into his bones, yet his hair was sticking to his skin with sweat. He took a step forward, and then another.
In the distance, a small light pierced through the darkness. It was like a small piece of sunshine, radiating warmth in a never-ending swirl of night.
It was Rey's light.
He went purely on instinct and chased the sunshine. Reaching out to it with his hand, he nearly caught it.
The light vanished before his fingertips could feel its warmth.
Something crunched under his boots. Snow. A forest covered in white surrounded him. The hint of a chill blew at his dark locks, thick flakes of snow stuck to his hair.
He reached for his lightsaber but didn't ignite it until something snapped behind one of the trees.
Rey stepped into view, her lightsaber crackling with red, casting a shallow glow over her face. "We're not done yet," she said, her voice low and heavy with each breath. Her side was bleeding with blood.
"Rey please," he pleaded with her. "This won't go the way you think."
She pointed her saber at his chin. "You're right. It didn't go the way I thought when I went to you that day."
He activated his own lightsaber, the blue illuminating sweat and water on his face. "Rey, I won't give up on you."
"You should have given up a long time ago. I will never be with you."
With a swipe of her hand, Kylo went flying onto his back. His saber sizzled as it collided with the snow.
His chest was too heavy. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare right now. "Rey…"
He sat up to be greeted with Rey's lightsaber at his stomach. "Kylo Ren must die," she said with no remorse in her tone.
Kylo had no words left. He tried, he really did.
This was how the sunshine of the galaxy dies.
He couldn't look away from her empty hazel eyes as she raised her staff to deal the final blow.
Kylo shot up on his bed, gasping with beads of sweat on his forehead and his bare chest. Some horrid relief washed over him as reality reminded him that it was just a nightmare.
But it wasn't just a nightmare, it was a real one reaching its conclusion, and it ended with Rey becoming a monster with his death.
He got up and put a shirt on and his boots. With a glance at his cape, he ran a hand over his hair, trying to decide if he should really put it on. If he had to deal with Ap'lek at all today or any rebels who are revenge trigger-happy, intimidation was going to have to do. A stark reminder of who they were dealing with.
He left his small hobble of a room while he put on his gloves. Two armed guards stood side-by-side outside his door, a precaution put in by Leia in case someone wanted to exact revenge against the former Supreme Leader.
Shoving aside his thoughts on Rey, he rolled over how he was going to present to the rest of the generals and admirals of the Resistance what he knew of Armitage Hux's plans. It wasn't that he was bad at public speaking—he never enjoyed it but he was decent at it enough to lead for some time—it was being trusted enough that let his anxiety rise. He needed their undeserved trust for this to work. He needed them to believe him.
Just like how Rey believed in him once.
Turning the corner he bumped into someone. He barely flinched as he saw Rose stumble back a couple of small steps.
"Sorry," he said, ears red underneath his hair from being so lost in his thoughts.
Rose gave a hint of a smile. "It's fine. You probably have a lot on your mind."
He had no idea how to answer this friendliness Rose had. By all accounts, Rose should hate him, just like all the other rebels did. But instead Rose was friendly and he had no clue how to react to her kind demeanor.
"Yes," he said, curt in his response. "Plenty."
Rey and the First Order were always on his mind these days.
"General Leia sent me to bring you to the meeting," Rose explained, turning around and leading the way through the base.
As he followed the woman, he could see the many stares and whispers at his imposing presence from the Resistance. Some stopped mid-conversation to gawk in fear. Some continued the gossip. One glance from him and he saw into their minds.
He tried to destroy the Resistance on Crait.
Kylo Ren slaughtered an entire village!
He burned the Jedi Temple down!
Why should I forgive the Jedi Killer?!
Indeed, why should Kylo Ren forgive the Jedi Killer? He stopped his mind-reading when Rose held the door open.
"After you," Rose said. Kylo walked into a massive room. Commanders and admirals along with Leia stood around a large table with a projector at its core.
Leia stood with Threepio behind her. To her left was Poe Dameron, arms crossed and looking directly at Kylo with terse civility.
Kylo absolutely refused to ever look into his mind ever again.
His mother gestured to her other side, a space left open. He made his way around the table and stood in his rightful spot. Threepio moved in surprise.
"Master Ben! Good to see you again," Threepio greeted in his usual chirpy way.
Kylo nodded to Threepio, then to Leia. "Shall we begin?"
Leia nodded. "Indeed." She raised her voice higher for the entire table to hear. "Let's get started. My son shall do most of the talking."
The moment of truth. Kylo placed his hands on the table, standing up straight and tall as his mother instilled into him to do as a young child. "My name is Ben Organa-Solo, former Supreme Leader of the First Order. I came here to inform you of the danger the First Order presents to you all."
Pressing a button on the holo, the drive he provided to Leia was loaded up and a blueprint of a large circular cannon was traced in midair. "This is a weapon designed by the First Order in the event that Starkiller Base was compromised. Then-General Armitage Hux kept a copy of these blueprints when I thought I had destroyed the last of them. He's building it currently."
Leia pressed a button, expanding the blueprint to a larger scale and more detail is shown up close.
"It will be completed within a week," Kylo declared, earning murmurs from the leadership of the Resistance.
Finn, Rose, and Poe all stared at him with wide eyes. "Where is this weapon?" Finn asked.
"The dreadnought Executioner," Kylo answered, restraining himself from rolling his eyes at the name Hux chose to root the cannon onto. "Hux no doubt moved it by now."
"We cannot spend time searching the system only to have the dreadnought at our doorstep." Poe squinted at the hologram of the cannon.
Rose spoke up. "Can you dismantle this weapon? Where are the failsafes?"
Kylo pulled up the left and right flanks of the weapon, near the top. "Up high in the energy core chamber to prevent accidental destruction of the failsafe. An idiotic design choice in my opinion."
He saw a ghost of a smirk on his mother's lips.
Poe pursed his lips in thought. "We need to find this dreadnought, disable the weapon, or…" He closed his eyes, sighing. "We destroy it."
Kylo kept his tone even. "I prefer Commander we do not destroy the dreadnought if need be, lest more lives be needlessly lost."
That took Poe by surprise. He quirked an eyebrow. "I don't want to destroy it either, but unless we find it we may not have a choice once it shows up here ready to fry us."
"So how do we find it first? Could we trace the money back to it?" Finn suggested.
Kylo put the side of his knuckle against his lips in thought. Tracing the cartels and gangs could work with the information he took with him, but time was of the essence. Fleeing was a last resort and most likely will result in the Resistance's annihilation in space, but so was destroying a dreadnought with thousands of people who weren't willingly there.
Finn watched him with a curious eye as Kylo's anger bubbled to the surface thinking about the way stormtroopers were enslaved. The force was reacting in kind, energy swirling around his body.
Leia glanced at Kylo, feeling it. She raised a hand and brushed his arm in comfort. He took a deep breath and tempered himself. "Can we trace it in a fast amount of time?"
One of the commanders bit her lip. "Unsure, even with the information you provided on the gangs. Most likely it will take up all our time."
Kylo formed a fist. There goes one solution.
But perhaps there was another… "I propose," Kylo spoke, his voice clear and tempered. "We take a star destroyer of our own."
Poe tightened his brow. "Take a star destroyer? How?"
"I suggest looking at your spy reports from the past few months. Their military is reduced, supplies even more so, and you have more deflected stormtroopers. Taking a destroyer will get us access to the information we need to find the dreadnought."
"You're asking the Resistance to take on two major ships of the fleet though," Poe said. "If they start firing at us we won't stand a chance later on with the casualties."
Leia had a full-blown smirk on her face now. Kylo's neck itched in irritation at his mother's smugness.
"You've destroyed one dreadnought, Commander," Kylo said, an edge of annoyance in his tone. "I trust in your ability to not destroy a star destroyer and suffer heavy losses."
Poe glared at him, eye nearly twitching before relenting with equal annoyance. "Right then. I hope the spy reports match what you're telling me, Solo."
Kylo raised an eyebrow. "Did you just call me Solo?"
Finn snickered.
Leia rolled her eyes.
Commander Larma D'Acy spoke up. "This plan can work."
Lieutenant Kaydel Connix nodded. "I agree."
"Aye," said Captain Temmin Wexley.
Rose Tico had a small smile on her lips. "Aye. This plan might just work."
Kylo wanted to step back away from the group, ears hot as the praise brought upon embarrassment. The most he got at the First Order was a "Yes sir" and "Very good sir." For some reason hearing them all of the Resistance agree to his plan, even though he felt so much reluctance and suspicion minutes ago, made his nerves rise.
For once something was going right.
"Do we have a ship's locale in mind?" Finn asked.
Kylo had to fight a smirk of satisfaction from playing at his lips. "The star destroyer Finalizer. I know where it is, and if it moved, then Ap'lek Ren or the stormtroopers know."
Leia let out a sigh of relief. "Then it is settled, we look over the reports, we find and take the Finalizer. I suggest we prepare ourselves for evacuation for the worst-case scenario. Dameron, you call the shots. Finn, you and Jannah coordinate with each other on the stormtroopers. Rose, you got the blueprints to analyze, Kaydel prepare to open communications with the destroyer and the base. Ben—" she turned to look at her son. "I want you to help in the invasion."
Suddenly having to give up his own ship to get near the damn Resistance base was coming back to bite him. "Of course General."
Rey's eyes cracked open. Her body dragged and ached from her exertion the past few days, but she felt energy return to her.
Her sleep was hardly restful though.
The dream haunted her. The last few moments upon the second Death Star replayed before her own eyes. Luke, young, his hair not greyed in the slightest, taking his saber towards Darth Vader in a fit of rage.
Even with Luke so young he was terrifying when he was angry.
She wondered if that was the same look he gave Ben when he took his lightsaber to him.
She looked at the holocron resting in her bag.
The past may guide your future.
Sitting up, she used the force to pull the golden pyramid to her hand.
Let the darkness consume you, let it guide your way.
Rey breathed in and out. She set the holocron on her bunk and stared at it. Pulling upon her darker side—her frustration, her loneliness, her sadness—she pushed it to the holocron.
It shifted and the tip opened. A small holographic figure appeared from the center of the holocron.
Rey's eyes widened at the figure in dark robes. His face was partly disfigured and sickly pale with wrinkles sagging his skin.
"Ah young Sith. You found my hidden holocron on the stronghold," the creepy man spoke. "I am Darth Sidious."
The Emperor. The one who created Darth Vader.
"I am not a Sith," Rey said.
"But you opened my holocron, did you not?"
Fair point. "I need guidance. The dark side told me that I can save someone important to me. Someone who too is in the dark," Rey said. "But how…"
"Ah yes. The dark side can give you all the guidance you need. Let your anger, your rage, your sorrow, your grief, let it consume you. Enshroud yourself with the same darkness and you'll reach an understanding. The deeper you go, the chances of success increase."
"But…" Rey felt her eyes sting. "I can't let go of the light inside me. It won't allow me to go deeper."
"The light holds you back. Let it go."
She tightened her fist, tears streaming down her cheeks as she could not deny nor agree. With a wave of her hand the holocron was closed and she flopped onto her back.
Maybe Sidious had a point, but wasn't that the conflict Kylo Ren had? She felt the pull inside of him once, but he seemed to reject it.
Reject the light so you may pull him out of the dark.
The idea was insane, not one she was willing to fully go through with. Not yet. She had to see that spark of hope in Kylo's eyes. That light so far, according to the dark, it wasn't appearing.
She rolled over, squeezing her eyes shut as she thought about what to do next. Kuruk gave a clue about where to find other darksiders, Ushar Ren and Vicrul Ren. Maybe they would be better at telling her how to use the dark side.
The death place of the Sith…
Back on Jakku she heard stories of how the famous Luke Skywalker defeated Darth Vader and the Emperor on Death Star II, saving the entire galaxy from disaster and ending the Empire. That was the last of the Sith from what she knew.
But what happened to the Death Star II?
She needed information on it. Good thing she was on a First Order ship and they didn't seem to notice save for Mitaka and the Knights of Ren she was even there.
Picking up her bag she walked out of the tiny room right into Mitaka.
He swallowed visibly. "Last Jedi! You're awake do you um, need anything?"
Rey felt her stomach protest. "Food," she answered quietly. "And then information."
"Y-Yes of course."
He turned on his heel and made haste to grab her portions to chew on. Rey stepped back into her quarters, trying to breathe evenly.
Patience was something she had ran out of a long time ago and needed to recover. She waited for months already, what was a few more hours?
Once her stomach was satisfied and she stretched her muscles, Rey ordered Mitaka to take her to wherever the databases were.
He complied obviously, marching her to a room full of systems waiting for input.
"You will leave this room and speak of this to no one," she said with a wave of her hand.
"I will leave this room and speak of this to no one," Mitaka said, closing the door behind him as Rey set to her search.
Death Star II. Destruction: 4 ABY.
Location: Endor System.
Last Seen: Kef Bir, Ocean Moon of Endor
Perhaps her nightmare showed her what she needed to know.
Rey returned to her quarters, her thoughts on how to proceed to her goal now. She needed more rest beforehand, but her thin patience was crumbling. How long would it be till her visions came true? Until she could break free Ben Solo and end this war?
But what war was she even fighting anymore? Every time she thought about the pulls from both sides, one light, one dark, it caused her pain. Every time she thought of Kylo Ren and Ben Solo, it caused her pain. Was the war in her head or was it real like the Resistance versus the First Order?
It was frustrating to think about. She sat down on the floor of her quarters, trying to make the pain stop. To make the loneliness finally stop. To make her aching heart stop. To make the dwindling hope thrive. To find her way back to a reality she could deal with.
A/N: I had to sneak in a Utada lyric no regrets haha.
I took some creative liberties with the holocron, hope that was okay haha.
If you're wondering why Ben is still referred to as Kylo, it's his viewpoint on himself still, even if he is introducing himself as Ben to people now.
Kagami420: Thank you!
Agent N: I'm not very knowledgable on the lore for other Star Wars media so I am leaving the fate of Ahsoka Tano up in the air for readers to guess or fill in :). I have heard of Revan & Bastilla but I do not know about if the dyad applied to them. I'm glad you loved this chapter! :D