Updated 3/9/22
"My dear boy, we really must stop meeting like this." The voice comes from a portly man walking toward where Harry is sitting on a conjured cot in a tent. It takes him a moment to place the man, and he moves to stand for the minister of magic before the man in questions waves him back down.
"Minister Fudge, sir." Harry says motioning with his half-eaten chocolate bar. "What happened?"
"Well, we have a few ideas, but why don't you give me your account of the events?" Fudge says.
"Okay. Well, it started when Malfoy barged into our carriage. Draco, that is. He was mouthing off about his father again, some nonsense about them changing Hogwarts regulations when something felt wrong. I don't know how to explain it, but I knew something was off. I shushed Malfoy and tried to find out, only to realize there was something outside the carriage. It was a dementor trying to break in! I couldn't concentrate enough for a Patronus, so I tried to buy space but it was breaking through."
Fudge pulled a junior Auror over to take notes, and for a few moments the scratching of a quill was all that was heard. "And then?"
"I pushed everyone back and was trying to figure out what to do when the window broke. The dementor oozed in and was about to do something when... well, the train spun and crashed, I guess. I blacked out and woke up under some debris. Once I worked my way out of the rubble, I heard screaming. I ran over and found the dementor ready to kiss Hermione and Luna! Something came over me and I grabbed its cloak and yanked it away from them. It recovered and rushed at me and I, er, I punched it."
"You punched it?" Fudge asks.
"Yes, sir."
"You punched a dementor." The Junior Auror asks, quill dripping ink onto the grass, staring at him in disbelief.
"I don't know what came over me, but yes, I punched a dementor."
"Do continue." Fudge says gleefully.
"When I hit it there was a flash of light and it flew back. Hermione screamed and there was another one flying at me."
"I suppose you punched it too." The Junior Auror sneers.
"Yes, I did. It flew back sizzling. By this time the first one was getting back up, so I grabbed it and reached into its hood. I grabbed something and yanked it out. It was a skull. Once the skull was out the cloak just withered away. Then I grew really tired and well," Harry shrugs, "you all showed up."
"That's quite a story." Fudge says. "Let me tell you what we've figured out. This afternoon, as the dementors that were guarding Hogwarts were traveling back to Azkaban, two went rogue. They made a beeline for the Hogwarts express. One attacked the conductor of the train, while the other appears to have sought you out. It's attempt to kiss you was foiled by the conductor's body losing control of the train after he was kissed. After that, they both were seen to be attacking you. Based on witness accounts, you indeed fought with the dementors and killed one."
"You can't kill a dementor!" The Junior Auror shouts.
The Minister reached down and picked something up, holding it out to Harry. "This is yours, Mr. Potter. If you'd like to show the young man?" Harry grabs the skull and holds it up.
"Mr. Auror, the skull of a dementor. Perhaps it's just my luck, but dementors can be killed." The junior Auror goes cross-eyed for a moment staring at the skull before furiously writing.
"Anything else?" Harry asks.
"You'll need to submit the skull to the ministry as evidence." The auror says, fishing in his pockets for an evidence pouch. Harry gladly passes over the dark artifact, eager to be away from the taint. After they both sign the log to verify it's authenticity, he leaves.
"That thing feels nasty." Harry complains, rubbing his hand on his pants.
"Well, it was part of a dementor." The Minister says, watching Harry fidget. "I suppose you'd like to be headed home, wouldn't you?" The minister waves his wand and the sound floods back in as the bubble of silence is removed. All around Harry are other students having their statements taken or being attended to.
"Yes sir."
"Good." The minister says, tugging Harry up and leading him out of the tent with a hand on his shoulder. Outside, Harry can see the damage. The Hogwarts express is sprawled all over a hill, cars tossed about like Dudley's train set when he was 8. Carriages overturned, sides ripped open and wreckage strewn about. Parts of seats and bits of wall embedded in the loam.
"Not a pretty sight, is it?" The Minister said.
"No, sir." Harry agrees.
"The Auror team who responded said it looked like one of the old death eater attacks. Thankfully no one was seriously harmed in the crash. Scrapes and cuts, a few broken bones, but no dismemberments or fatalities." The minister says conveniently forgetting the conductor who did not survive.
Harry pales thinking about one of his friends getting hurt.
"Ah, here we are, the luggage car." Fudge announces, drawing his wand. "Don't get to do this often," He winks,"Accio Mr. Potter's Luggage!" From within the pile of trunks, once so carefully sorted and packed by the Hogwarts elves, Harry's trunk comes flying out. Surprisingly, a small rucksack flies out of the car as well. The trunk lands at the Minister's feet with a quiet whumph, but Harry catches the rucksack in one hand.
"Nice seeker reflexes," the minister compliments, before noting Harry's expression, "Not yours? It happens sometimes. I'm a little out of practice I'm afraid. Just toss it back."
"It- it says James on it." Harry whispers.
"Does it now? Marvelous. It is yours after all." They stand for a moment before the minister urges them on, "Let's be on our way now, still students to sort out." The Minister leads Harry back towards the tents, where Aurors and mediwitches mill about, interviewing students before releasing them to their families.
"Scrimgeour!" Fudge calls out, causing a lanky man in sharp robes to turn from the Aurors he was instructing, "Can you spare someone to see Mr. Potter home?"
"Tonks." The tall man barks, turning back to his men.
A young woman with bright pink hair rushes over, tripping and sliding on the grass before popping back up and jogging the rest of the way to them.
"Wotcher! I'll get him home safe, Minister Fudge. Auror's honor!" She says, pretending the front of her uniform isn't grass stained and she doesn't have dirt in her hair.
"Right." The minister says slowly, hesitant to hand The-Boy-Who-Lived off to this… recruit. He still passes Harry off, releasing his spell on Harry's trunk. He thinks to look back, but then spies a pair of acid green glasses, "Ah! Rita! Imagine seeing you here!" He shouts, rushing off.
"I see why mom refuses to vote for him." Tonks says, watching the overweight man run off, one hand clamped on his bowler to prevent it from blowing away or simply falling off. "Quibbler theorized once that he's really just a rat in a suit held together by magic, and that the rat lives under that bowler." She turns to see Harry standing there, "Right, you definitely did not hear that from me, yeah? Not really supposed to read the quib anymore." Harry nods once, still trying to get a measure of this strange lady.
"So, I'm guessing you've never apparated before?" She asks, taking his blank look for confirmation. "Right, listen up. I'm going to give you the same advice my dad gave me." After seeing him nod, she continues, her hair unconsciously shifting to short brown and wavy. "Apparition is a method of travel in which a wizard squeezes themselves through the space between spaces, traveling quickly from one place to another. For first timers, like you, take a deep breath and hold it. It passes in an instant. Please keep all hands, feet, arms, legs, heads, and other appendages inside the bubble. Are you ready?"
"I guess so?" Harry says nervously.
Tonks wrinkles her nose. "Some brave Gryffindor you are." Before Harry can respond she grabs his arm. He quickly sucks in a deep breath and with a sharp snap they're gone.
They reappear outside a café in Surrey, the crowd parting around them without noticing.
"Still got everything? Fingers, toes, ears, nose? Spleen? Saw a guy who splinched his left kidney once- nasty business that was." Tonks says.
"I think so." Harry says, patting himself down.
"So, we're both lucky Scrimgeour doesn't like me all that much. Saves me the trip of having to find you and you of having some strange lady barge in. I'm Tonks, Auror recruit and technically your second cousin either twice or three times removed, can't remember which. You are The-Boy-Who-Lived, and my mum's last hope of recapturing the Black family magics."
"Your Mum is Andromeda?" Harry asks.
"You sure you're not a Ravenclaw? How'd you know that? Lucky guess?"
"Professor Lupin told me a bit about things after Sirius' death." Harry admits.
"Cool." Tonks says, bobbing her head. "Want some lunch? I'll buy."
Eager to dodge his relatives for as long as he can, and still shaken from the train, Harry agrees.
Tonks taps the trunk, "Notice-me-not. Come on in."
Harry follows her in, sliding into the seat across from her at the booth and taking a menu.
"Order whatever, Mom's paying for it." Tonks says, browsing her own menu.
They order and when the waitress disappears Tonks leans closer, giver her wand a discreet twirl.
"Harry. So, I told you that we're cousins. My mom's mom and Sirius's mom were sisters, yada-yada pureblood nonsense, interbreeding, you and he were cousins. By nature of that, so are we." She take aa bite of her sandwich, "Now, with Sirius' recent departure from the land of the living, things have started waking up in the Black Family. The Family magics are loose and open for claim. My mom is going to submit a claim for them, but she doesn't expect it to work. She's the oldest eligible child but was also cast out. Her sister has the greatest claim, but since she's rotting in Azkaban, she will not be vying for the magics. Her other sister, Narcissa Malfoy, has the smallest claim on her own, but her son has a good grasp. The Black family operates through patrilineal primacy. It falls to sons before daughters. So, Draco has a solid claim, which is bad news. Good news, there is someone else who might have a better claim."
"Who?" Harry asks, wiping some sauce from his mouth.
"You silly." Tonks says, stealing a chip from Harry.
"Me?"
"Yeah, the family tapestry, please don't ask, has you linked to Siri. Given he was the previous heir, and that he held the magics until his death, you might have the better claim. Of course, you're in the process of being claimed by the Potter Magics, so the Black might turn its nose up at the smell of maturing wizard."
"Slow, slow down. I'm being claimed? I'm tied to Sirius? Just tell me like you would a first year."
"That was my explain-to-a-first-year explanation." Tonks says, leaning back. She sits for a moment thinking, before engaging Harry again.
"At its most basic, you're being claimed as a Potter by your magic. That's in your blood, it's happening, there is literally nothing you can do to stop it without dying, which isn't even a guarantee. As it stands, you could also inherit the Black family magic, because you're somehow connected to Sirius. However, since you are not a full Black by blood, you have to submit a magical claim. Given the main line is dead, anyone who wants to inherit the magics will have to submit a claim. According to my mother, you and Draco Malfoy stand the best chance in Britain at claiming them. We would rather have you hold the family head than the spawn of Lucius Malfoy. I'm here to feel out what we need to do to get you to submit a claim. You are, after all, technically Head of House Potter, even if House Potter is but one room, so to speak."
"I'm what?"
"Head of House Potter. Course, it isn't much of a house. It's got one kid wizard, and one house elf right now. You might be looking to reconstruct, per say, but be careful. Most of them only want you for your fame." Her eyebrows waggle. Literally, wave back and forth on her head like they are alive. It's quite creepy.
"No, no, I don't want this. I don't want to be anyone. I'm just Harry. No House Potter. No Black heir. No, Boy-Who-Lived nonsense. This was supposed to be my year to figure things out. Not be thrust into yet another mess! I want to be Harry! Not the boy-who-lived, not head of house, not heir, just-"
"Harry." Tonks finishes with a sad smile. "I wish you could be just Harry; I really do. But besides you being the Boy-Who-Survived, you're also the last of your line. You were never going to be 'Just Harry', even if He-who-must-not-be-named hadn't happened. Sorry, but that's the way of it. Maybe if your parents had continued being randy, you'd have siblings who could take the pressure off, but that may or may not have ever happened. So, you have to accept this. You are all of those things, regardless of what you want."
"Alright. Give me a few to adjust. I'm just, I" He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "I never wanted any of this. I just wanted to go to school, to learn and grow up and-"
"Hey, I understand." At his look of disbelief, she shakes her head, checking to see if anyone is watching. "I really do. She meets his eyes and slowly her face shifts to mirror his, scar and all. "I'm a metamorphmagus. It means I can change my appearance at will. The talent manifested my second year. It made the rest of my time at Hogwarts hell. When I was sorted, I just wanted to be like my mom. Work hard, graduate well, get an apprenticeship and join a solid career. Then this happened. With so much wild magic, I can't do potions. I mess them up by being nearby. So, suddenly I couldn't be a healer or a potions mistress. I'm pants at arguing, so I can't follow my dad. It was only by luck that I caught the eye of Mad-eye and he got me into the academy. I know what it's like to want to be 'just somebody'. Only, life doesn't work that way. We have to be who we are. We can't run away."
She shifts back to her normal appearance and focuses on her chips, giving Harry a moment to digest her spiel.
"Alright." He says after a moment.
"Wat?" She asks through a mouthful of chips.
"I'll do it."
"You will!" She swallows, excitement turning her hair spiky.
"Yeah. But, I want some things." He says.
"I'm not supposed to negotiate this, but okay, what do you want?" She replies, pulling out a notepad and snagging a pen off of a nearby table.
"I want someone to help me understand what all of this house business is and what I'm getting myself into. I want someone to teach me what I should have known going into Hogwarts- all of the little stuff that no one thinks about. For instance, what magical people do, how wizarding society works, why we have such a bizarre monetary system, what is important for what jobs. How does flooing work?"
Tonks laughs as she pays and they leave, "I'm pretty sure we can do all of that bar one. No one knows why we have such a strange money system. If you figure it out, publish. You'll make enough money that you can change it to whatever you want it to be. I'll talk to mom, and let you know what she says. Expect an owl within the week."
"Wait! Professor McGonagall told me something about a mail redirection ward on me."
Tonks frowns. "That makes this more difficult."
"I'm working on figuring it out. For now," Harry closes his eyes and concentrates. He holds out an arm and Hedwig lands on his shoulder gingerly. "For now, call for Hedwig when you need to send something. She'll take it." The Snowy owl eyes Tonks and starts preening Harry's hair possessively.
"As long as she won't bite me." Tonks says.
"She'll behave." Harry says. "Won't you girl?" he scratches her breast with a finger.
"Prek."
"Within the week. See ya Sparky!" Tonks calls out, disapparating with a crack.
"Sparky?" Harry asks to the now empty air, before grabbing his trunk and starting the walk back to 4 Privet drive.