"Now, Harry, can you tell me why our esteemed Minister would do something like this?" Andromeda asks as they walk to the portkey location.
"It's a test, isn't it? To see if I can handle things. To see if I'm truly Lord Potter and Black. But, also to find out what I believe and where I stand. And to test what you've taught me, and-"
"I think you got it the first try. Fudge wants to get his measure of you. Now, what are two benefits of him doing this and two drawbacks?"
"To me or to him?" Harry asks.
"You, then him." Andromeda says.
"Well, it's a quidditch match, so if I'm not great I can use that as an excuse. It's also international, meaning Fudge has an interest in making me look competent in front of the foreigners. United British front. But, he's in control of it all. He knows the people, the location, the teams, and everything else. He knows so much more than I do about this place, especially having invited me so late. He probably ostracized someone by inviting me in their place and created both of us enemies."
"You might be reaching, but there are definitely some who would see this as a slight both from him and you. Next?"
"As mentioned, he knows this event and the people. Also, this is my debut. I have to make a good impression and disagreeing with him publicly would go over badly. So I have to toe his line and support what he says, even if I do not wholly agree. But, that goes both ways. If I express something he has to back me up, since we share acclaim internationally. He also can bank on my reputation as the Boy-Who-Lived to draw acclaim, just from me being there."
"And one more negative for him?" Andromeda prompts.
"He has to pay attention to the other guests. He can't observe me and ask me directly about things- he has to cater to the whims of the box. And there's only so much he can stack it."
"Passable." Andromeda says as they reach the tire, "Now, for bonus points, the same with me."
"You're being tested for my competency, and my behavior reflects on you. Many of the things I mentioned for me apply to you as well, but, you're walking in with a demerit already in the eyes of the box."
"Oh?"
"You weren't invited directly. As my plus one, you are there, but by my coattails so to speak. You will not be listened to over another, and your words may be used without a chance for you to rebut them. But, you will be allowed to sit back and observe without engaging much, allowing you to gather intelligence without handing your own out. You net gain by coming, assuming your reputation will hold." Harry finishes, just as the portkey activates.
"Some interesting thoughts." Andromeda says, looking down at the sprawled figure of Harry, "I also am arriving as your teacher- if you perform well then I did a good job. If you're lackluster, well, it's a young boy and quidditch, what can you expect? I am an internationally known Potions Mistress, and know many of the players in the box. I am also the oldest Black sister, and no one knows where the Black Book is anymore. There are some who believe it is my hands, though of course, I have no idea what they are talking about. I certainly never saw a book full of century's worth of blackmail."
"There are so many angles to this." Harry groans, climbing to his feet.
"There are. But you are learning to navigate them." Andy says, patting his cheek, "We have a few hours before the match starts. Why don't you have some fun, see if you can find any of your friends, while I get our campsite secured."
"Thanks Andi." Harry says.
"Just remember, we're M3-7." She reminds him.
"Got it." Harry nods, turning and walking toward one of the stands he spied. There was something glittering on the counter…
"Hello Harry Potter." The voice comes from under his shoulder unexpectedly, and he doesn't recognize the speaker.
"Who?" he asks, whirling around and nearly clocking the girl with his elbow. She's short, with long blonde hair poking out from under a duckbill and a dreamy expression.
"Right here." She says calmly. "Are you here about the investigation?"
"The what?" Harry says.
"The Investigation. Minister Fudge's dealing with the Goblins. It's quite insidious."
"Who- Who are you?" harry asks, not recognizing the blonde reporter in the ill-fitting trench coat before she introduces herself.
"My name's Luna, but most call me Looney. Looney Lovegood." She says, tilting her head and smiling. It's a terrible smile, forced and all teeth, and the eyes don't match up. But he gets the sense it's not purposeful, just really out of practice.
"I-" Harry is stuck speechless for a moment, but Andromeda's training fights to the surface of his mind, "Nice to see you again Luna."
"Is it? You've been very off balance since I spoke up." She chimes in, "I can go away if you'd prefer."
"No, that's- that's alright. Now, what's this about an investigation?"
"Minister Fudge is doing what!?" Harry shouts, Luna shoving her hand over his mouth and muffling his shout.
"Quiet! We don't want to spook the Blibbering Humdingers." Luna whispers. "They don't like loud noises or shared secrets. That's why we whisper things to each other, so the Humdingers don't hear. Although, the babbling Humdingers share secrets, but only common ones that everyone knows. Like how Santa isn't real or the Queen is an alien in disguise. You did know that, didn't you? I'd hate to have spoilt the mystery is you weren't in the know." She looks at Harry sadly, and Harry can't help but nod along reassuringly, not certain what he's agreeing to.
"Good." She says, grabbing his hand and yanking him though another tent. Two witches look up as they burst through the wall. Luna waves and points, doing something with her feet before darting under a table. Harry, dragged along for the ride, bumps his head on the lip of the table, the cloth sliding and a dish of pears unending itself on his head. Whilst the ladies above them giggle, Luna continues, wriggling under the side of the tent and up the other side, skipping over tent pegs and ducking lines all while humming something Harry can barely place, but reminding him greatly of the Scandinavian national anthem. (Andromeda had sat him through a long session with the various allies and their background, including their home countries anthems to try and beat some knowledge into his head.)
Barely keeping his feet with all the ducking and jumping, Harry has to pull up short when Luna stops on a dime, stepping on a stump to look around. She looks carefully down the rows of tents before turning 90 degrees and doing so again. She lets go of his hand at her second turn and Harry takes a moment to catch his breath. Luna looks strange, balancing on the stump on one foot, one hand shading her eyes the other outstretched for balance. She suddenly does a 180 and Harry is left staring at her shorts, he only has a moment before he's rudely yanked up on the stump with her, pressed too close for his comfort.
Luna doesn't pay any mind to his awkwardness, or how close they are pressed together, barely stable on the tiny stump. Harry, eager to push his mind from the girl quite literally plastered to his front, locks his eyes on her nose. Luna has a nice nose, small but cute, nicely rounded. Harry does not consider the nose to be a particularly attractive feature on girls, nor anyone really, but of the noses he's seen Luna has one of the cutest. And it's twitching slightly as she peers down the line of tents.
"Luna?" he asks.
"Hmm?" she muses, holding up a hand and accidentally smacking Harry in the nose.
"What are we doing here?" Harry says, eyes watering from his abused shnoz.
"The Minister can't move with the goblins directly, obviously. Otherwise the vampires would know he reneged. So, he has to use an intermediary. A source told me that he quietly gave orders to the chair of the department of sports, Ludo Bagman. Remember that name, Harry Potter, because he shows up a lot in these types of investigations. No one's managed to pin anything on him yet, but it's only a matter of time before get something to stick."
Luna hops down from the stump and takes off once more. For a girl whose head barely comes up to his shoulder, she's wry and quick, and Harry is having a hard time keeping up with the fox. She darts over and under and around things fluidly, her multicolor cloak streaming behind her. Thankfully, since he loses her when she slides under a group of wizards waiting for the water pump like she's stealing home and the bases are loaded; Harry can just follow the commotion. The girl, despite her size is not subtle in the least. He catches up to her at one of the back entrances to the stadium, held up by two Aurors who were not nearly as bored as they were three minutes ago.
"No, I can't let you back there." One says to Luna.
"But I asked nicely!" Luna says.
"Still no, little lady. It's not safe back there."
"Would a bribe get me in?" Luna says, digging through her pockets, "The gulping plimpies warned me I'd have to buy my way out of something. Let's see, I've got half a cookie, a plum and a quarter, three knuts and a sickle, one manticore feather, and Harry Potter."
"Look I'm flattered but that's not quite- Wait, did you say Harry Potter?"
"Yes, he's right here. But I'm only borrowing him, so you'll have to give him back by the end of the day. And you'll need to feed and walk him regularly. I don't want to give him back in worse condition that I found him in."
The Auror, looking at a bedraggled Harry, dried pear juices clumped in his hair, dirt stains on his shirt and pants, took pity on them. Or didn't.
"One kiss and I'll let you pass."
"From him, from me, to from both of us? And to you, to your partner, to the minister or to each other?" Stunned from her easy acceptance and the run, Harry missed most of the negotiations, but they appeared to consist of a high stakes game of rock paper scissors and some sort of rhyming contest.
'You drive a hard bargain Mr. Auror. But what else can one expect from the law?" Luna says, grabbing Harry's hand once more, "Come along Harry Potter."
Still lost, Harry follows Luna under the stadium. The space underneath is dark, shadowed light cast down from breaks in the stands above them. Beams and support columns are spread around haphazardly, a messy tangle of inefficiency. Luna pulls him determinedly in a direction, guided by some ethereal feeling. Slowly they creep up on a quiet pool of light by another door. A man in official ministry robes sweats nervously by a barrel under the light of a single lantern.
"Shh." Luna shushes needlessly.
They wait, and after a minute or two, the door opens and three Goblins in suits file in. The middle one takes off a bowler hat and sets in on the barrel. The one on the left lights up a cigar and hands it to the center Goblin.
"You got everything for us?" he demands, puffing on the cigar.
"Yes. It's all here. Everything you asked for. It's in the bag." The ministry toady says, passing over a wriggling sack. The smoking Goblin passes it to his partner who peers inside before nodding.
"It's all there boss." He says.
"I trust this ends our business venture?" The ministry man asks nervously, wringing his hands.
"As long as this holds up, it does." The smoking goblin says, leaning in, "but if this is some human trickery," he crushes the cigar out on the top of barrel, "I'll be the least of your worries."
The trio file out, the door swinging closed behind them. The ministry flunky visibly slumps, tension bleeding off of him in waves.
"Report!" a voice barks from his collar, and he straightens back up, all the weight piled right back on.
"Handoff successful, Director. They had some suspicions, but I think we got it past them." He says.
"Dammit, if you blow this I'll nail your robes to the statue pool in the atrium." The voice cracks back.
"I swear, I won't mess this up. I promise you. This will go exactly as we planned."
"It better Ludo, or I might just leave you to them. Bones out."
The man leans on the barrel for a moment, breathing heavily before rising and straightening his robes. He pulls his wand and summons a mirror, checking his reflection before walking into the darkness.
"I think that's everything." Luna whispers in Harry's ear. He helps her up from the dirt where they were crouched and follows her back outside.
"Luna, what was that?" he asks as they climb the steps of the stadium. "Who were those Goblins? Who was that man from the ministry?"
"Harry Potter, we do not discuss ongoing investigations for just anyone to hear. You'll have to be more discreet." Luna says primly.
"Fine. What was that back there?"
"That was a transaction. Someone had a package to sell, and couldn't find a buyer so they used a mule, and snuck the package as a discount." Luna says like it explains everything.
"Luna, that doesn't make any sense," Harry says, "Luna."
"We don't have time to dawdle, Harry Potter. I have to return you to your owner before time runs out. I'd hate to have to pay the fees for late reternal."
They finally reach the top of the stairs, which is quite high up. Luna opens the door and pushes Harry inside. Everyone in the box turns to look at them. Fudge stops what he was saying, the foreign ministers follow his gaze. Three pale blonde heads turn to look at Harry dismissively. Andromeda gives him an unimpressed onceover. From the other side of the box, the door opens and the man from under the stadium steps in.
"You're- mmph!" Harry's accusation is cut off by Luna pressing her lips to his and kissing him forcibly. He returns the kiss, closing his eyes for a moment before Luna pulls away.
"Good form, Harry Potter." She says, patting him on the cheek before skipping out the door. Harry turns back to see the Minister still looking shocked, the Malfoys' glaring even harder, and Andromeda rolling her eyes. Harry sheepishly sits next to Andromeda and she quietly starts fixing his appearance.
"Lord knows your godfather would be proud of you right now. Honestly, I'm not even mad anymore. There's no stopping a Lovegood; you're just along for the ride." She winks. Harry is, of course, mortified.