Repression
"Fantasy," Kagome said thinly, warily approaching. "What are you doing?"
Her double had taken hold of Rin, shoving gently so that the little girl stumbled over the border between Happiness's realm and Discipline's. Rin squeaked, disappearing into thin air.
Kagome gasped and uselessly grabbed at the space where she'd been, panic erupting within her chest.
"Relax. She'll just pop back to Happiness's side like nothing happened."
Sharing a pensive look, Kagome and Innocence watched as Fantasy walked by. She handed her bow and quiver of arrows over to Kagome, swinging herself up onto the inuyoukai's back. "Discipline will be here any second, you can feel his energy, right? I'll take Innocence and we'll run further into Happiness's realm as a decoy to make it look like I'm you when Repression inevitably comes after us. Get that stuffy dork to take you to his mansion instead."
Kagome frowned, setting the weapons down and sliding her arms around Innocence's neck, feeling his head rest against her chest. "But…" she trailed off. "What makes you so sure this is a good idea? Repression might not come after us. The other emotions had him pinned down."
Fantasy's eyes appeared almost like Sesshoumaru's for a second, wintery and serious. "Repression is stronger than them. The most important thing right now is getting you out of here. What's more...he and I both know you don't want to leave Innocence. That's why me being the one to take him is the best option. He's more likely to think that I'm you," she murmured, glancing away. "I didn't tell you this, but I got a scroll from Intelligence this morning while at my mansion. He said that Sesshoumaru has found out something from an oni sorceress. That...if you stay for a day longer you'll get trapped here, permanently. It's important you go."
Blue eyes widened. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"
"I didn't want to freak you out!" She groaned. "I thought it would be an easy thing, going to Happiness's mansion. Didn't realise Repression was this...intense about you."
Glancing away, Kagome stroked the soft fur of Innocence's hackles, mulling everything over. It was true. She didn't want to leave the pup. Protective instincts surged beneath her skin, feeling the hot puffs of air from his nose fan onto her stomach. The idea of him being caught and punished for helping her clouded Kagome's thoughts. But the plan had merit and she needed to leave or risk getting more emotions in trouble.
Kagome patted the inuyoukai, causing his head to lift up, ears perking. She kissed his wet nose and smiled gently, "I need you to look after Fantasy for me, okay?"
He huffed, 'naturally.'
Smiling, she stroked a magenta marking with her thumb and straightened, rounding his side. She picked up an arrow, exhaling. Summoning her courage, Kagome dragged the sharp point over her palm to make a cut. Innocence's nose twitched at the smell of blood.
'What are you doing?'
Kagome pressed her palm to Fantasy's outer layer of clothing, patting down her arm and leaving flecks of blood. "He'll follow this- but once he has your scent, I want you to take this off." Kagome lifted her gaze to her double and frowned. "I mean it. Throw it down a gorge or something and run away for real, hide. Don't let yourself be caught under any circumstances or I'll march right back in here."
Fantasy stared down at her, soon nodding and smiling. "I promise," she murmured, further surprised by Kagome shoving the bow and quiver of arrows into her hands. "You should have these instead of me. Value yourself more," she said firmly. Fantasy shouldered them, warmth pooling in her chest.
With a smile, Kagome stepped back, feeling the rustle of wind behind her and sensing cool energy at her back. Turning on her heel, she noticed Discipline heading towards them.
"I'm going to give you a bit of a cheat code that Love taught me," Fantasy reached out and cupped Kagome's cheek, making the woman look at her. "When you hold an inuyoukai like this or vice versa, it means that they're safe with you. If they tip their head into your palm, it's an act of deep trust and affection."
Kagome blinked, mind racing back to when she'd first met Sadness. She swallowed and nodded soberly, gratitude filling her up.
"I guess this is goodbye," Fantasy said gently. Grasping Innocence's fur, she held on as he started to pad away.
Kagome bit her lip, rocking forward on her heels as though wanting to follow but holding herself back. "Yeah," she murmured. "Goodbye, Kagome."
Her double jolted a touch, wide blue eyes finding hers. The smoke of a smile came to her lips just as the inuyoukai took off running, bounding through the trees and disappearing into the thick foliage of the surrounding trees and bushes.
After being picked up by Discipline and briefly explaining the situation, she'd slid her arms around broad shoulders, inwardly blushing at his half-naked appearance. But she squashed that feeling down, now wasn't exactly the time. His right arm had fresh claw marks, trickles of blood running down pale skin. "You're injured," Kagome quietly noted with concern, hair teased by the breeze.
"Hn. The host has fought a horde of demons outside without the use of Bakusaiga," Discipline muttered, flying through the air over his domain. "This one was just in the middle of changing and tending to the wound when I received Fantasy's arrow."
She automatically frowned, gripping the sleeve of her yukata and tugging to tear a chunk of the soft material free. "that's strange. I wonder why he didn't use his sword."
"To my knowledge, your kit was in the way."
Kagome swallowed, stomach twisting into knots as she shifted in his arms and tied the material around his arm to try and stop the bleeding. The worry for Innocence and Fantasy was further added to with the addition of Shippo. Her head remained in such shambles that she quite forgot how to even make a proper tourniquet. Kaede would have chided her.
"Your concern is irritating my senses," he grumbled.
"I'm not sorry," Kagome mumbled, resting a hand on his bloodied arm, watching the trees shrink into the distance. "I know I need to leave here but it...feels wrong like this. Will everyone really be okay if I just leave them with Repression? What's to stop him from locking Sadness and the others away again?"
Discipline slid his stern, unrelenting gaze down to her, claws twitching where they supported Kagome under her thighs and back. "Nothing. But this is how we have come to live. The host's state of mind is none of your business, even if you do care for him."
"It's because I care for him that his state of mind is my business!" Kagome burst, white-hot frustration racing through her bloodstream. She quickly curled her fingers into her palms to try and stifle the answering reiki that longed to spark out.
Discipline did not answer, looking ahead of them.
Exhaling in a rush, blue eyes slid over the scarred left side of his cheek, wondering at his milky white pupil. Unable to help herself, she softly inquired: "are you blind in one eye?"
"Hn."
"Can I ask what happened? Sesshoumaru isn't usually blind."
They sailed over the flat lands that occasionally held what looked to be training grounds or long, thin demons stalking the wooden floors, looking for prey. Discipline stared down at them as though the sharp-toothed, frightening creatures were something to hunt, rather than the other way around.
"No, but he has experienced these wounds. His body remembers every injury. I, therefore, bare each one as a reminder. They were branded into my being because of the shame he felt from each experience. My face is one of the most egregious examples." Silver hair tickled Kagome's nose while she rested her cheek on his shoulder. "When he was a pup, Sesshoumaru was taken on a hunt with his Father. A rare honour. They were to pass through a section of the forest belonging to overgrown demonic plants and flowers, some of which gave off gases which could ignite."
Kagome's stomach dropped.
"He had been warned explicitly about the use of his Dokkasō. The pup did not listen, eager to demonstrate his power and technique to his sire. He released the acid from his claws in order to strike a low-level demon, but the gases ignited due to the humidity of the fumes and resulted in what you see now. He lost his sight for two months in one eye. It rivals the shame of losing his left arm. Innocence was shoved to the outskirts of Repression after the experience."
"That's awful," she murmured, glancing at the arms that held her. He must have gained back the left one just like regular Sesshoumaru but a scar circled around his bicep. The image of Innocence, no...actual child Sesshoumaru, so small and prideful, laying in a bed with bandages over the left side of his face struck her. If he'd been so eager to prove himself to his father, she could only imagine the humiliation he'd felt. "Wait...the outskirts of Repression," Kagome repeated. "You mean the realm? Where was Repression the emotion? The Sesshoumaru clone like you and Lust. Fantasy called him an upstart but is he really that new?"
"Indeed. Before him, the lands of Repression existed," mismatched eyes narrowed. "This made sense to me. Repression is not an emotion, a feeling, but the action of suppression. He should not be able to walk among the rest of the emotions in my opinion. It is...strange. Before, if Happiness was squashed, he would materialise inside the lands of Repression rather than be hounded by that pup who locks everything away."
Kagome's lips thinned with thought, holding on tight as he started to descend from the air towards a large, weathered mansion with sturdy brown roof tiles. It had a courtyard much like Intelligence's place, but with an emphasis on training. Many different weaponry stations littered the grounds. "Is that an archery range?"
"Hn. Did you not know the host is proficient in many weapons?"
"Well no...he tends to only use swords," Kagome thought for a moment. "I guess there's still a lot I don't know about him, despite running around in his head." The thought was oddly comforting. She didn't want to cheat and know all his secrets.
She wanted...Sesshoumaru to tell her. To talk to him, see him relax and smile for real. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, which Kagome inwardly batted away. From behind them, a deafening roar echoed through the lands. Demons prowling along Discipline's flat wooden grounds shrieked and took flight, curling in the air like distressed party streamers. Kagome steadied herself when Discipline set her down within his courtyard.
"...Can you go and protect Fantasy and Innocence for me?" Kagome murmured. "I'm worried about what Repression might to do if he catches them this time."
Discipline inclined his head, turning. "This one will. But after you have left and I've dressed accordingly."
Kagome's gaze raked down the length of his back, catching the scarring in various places. Her brows drew together and she followed him up the sleek wooden stairs and into his traditional mansion. Her ears pricked, hearing another distant, bellowing cry. She shivered and hurried after Discipline's retreating form.
Grabbing a plain hanjuban underlayer and putting it on while in his shadowed, spacious bedroom, he stilled when Kagome took out a patterned hankimono and approached, smiling slightly. "Let me help, as a thank you."
"This one is more than capable of doing it alone," Discipline quietly rumbled.
She giggled, struggling a little with the sheer volume of silks but managing to slide his arm through a sleeve, smoothing the material over strong shoulders. Fixing any blemishes, she adjusted his collar once he'd slid his other arm into a heavy sleeve.
Discipline had gone quiet, his good eye pinned on her movements. "...What ails you?"
Kagome swallowed, resting her palms briefly on his collarbone. "Guess it's just hitting home that I'm leaving now." I might not...be able to touch him like this in the real world.
Calloused hands came up, becoming a pressure upon her hips. Slowly, haltingly, the miko's fingers unfurled as her palm lifted to his scarred cheek. Her digits twitched and shook slightly, the meaning of the act racing through her mind. Discipline observed her with half-lidded eyes, remaining still. He then tipped his head fractionally, scarred flesh meeting her open hand. Kagome exhaled in a rush. Carefully, her thumb dragged over the various bumps, dips and ridges of his burned cheek, the damaged flesh rough.
Slit pupils gazed at her with fervour until pale lashes slid shut. "...You should go now," his deep voice broke the quiet of the room. "The host has need of you."
Kagome nodded, stroking her fingers up his damaged, half-melted ear, leaning up to kiss his cheek just once. "Thank you for protecting him," she muttered, before withdrawing her touch.
The spell of calm broke and Discipline's aura of tight control returned to him. He ushered Kagome to a room where a large fireplace took up the far wall.
Kagome hesitantly stepped up to it, glancing at him over her shoulder. "This'll...take me back, right?"
"I do not know."
"Encouraging," she snorted, turning back to the flames. Taking a breath, she decided to treat it as just another free fall into the Bone Eater's Well. Where she didn't know if the caprice of time travel would accept her body or break her ankle from the drop. "Here goes-"
And then she jumped.
He stared unseeingly at the youkai corpses littered around the landscape. He'd reacted in a way he'd previously belittled Inuyasha for- racing out recklessly and relying on instinct and fighting skill alone to rip the demons to pieces. Even after grabbing Shippo, he'd felt no inclination to use Bakusaiga. It would've been over too quickly.
However, since surfacing from the bloodlust induced haze of battle, he'd been out of sorts. Squashing any thought or emotion for the miko had not been the wisest decision.
Miroku and Inuyasha had lent their assistance but they'd barely been within his notice. At least he'd had the sense to move the kit out of harm's way, who currently wailed to Miroku about trying to find Kagome but accidentally awakening a horde of slumbering demons within an eastern cavern of Inuyasha's forest.
His brother had been wary and watchful of him ever since the short battle. Sesshoumaru understood his reaction, but ignored it, glancing at the bleeding arm at his side. He must have been out of sorts to let himself get injured.
Between one breath and the next, it happened.
"Let me out!"
Golden eyes flew wide.
"Sesshoumaru, let me out!"
The oni sorceress' advice came to mind and Sesshoumaru immediately reacted. Heat spiked within the air around him, a phantom wind lifting silver hair.
"Oi, the hell?"
Sesshoumaru paid the whelp little attention, flames bursting forth and growing to accommodate his larger true form, fur rippling over skin. He snarled, pushing forth something from with the agitated, flickering energy.
A figure stumbled out of the roaring flames at his feet, naked and trembling. A summer dress and the other clothing she'd entered with flew out separately, landing around her.
"Kagome!" Inuyasha burst, hurrying over and dropping to his knees to pull her into his arms.
Sesshoumaru panted quietly, muscles shifting as he returned to his inhuman form, staring at the groaning woman while the fire's died. She groggily opened tired blue eyes and looked up at Inuyasha, blinking. "Inu...yasha?"
"You alright ya damn idiot?" He grumbled, voice tight with worry.
"I'm…" Kagome croaked, glancing down at herself. "Ah! I'm naked!" She hissed, grabbing her dress and holding it over herself. "You could've covered me up, jerk!"
His cheeks coloured red. "We thought you were stuck inside that bastards MIND and you wanna quibble about being naked! You hit your damn head or somethin?!"
Kagome was already looking around, "that's right where is he? Where's-" she cut herself off, gaze meeting his own.
Sesshoumaru did not move. He stood stiff and watchful, glancing at the Monk and kit who hurriedly approached while the miko tugged her dress on. Shippo jumped into her arms and cried, hugging her close.
Drowning out the noise of their conversation, the Daiyoukai quietly searched within himself. He thought all would be well once Kagome was free. So what was missing?
The sound of grass cushioning bare feet caught his attention.
"Oi, Kagome! Where are you going?"
Ignoring his half brother, Kagome halted before him and took a breath, as though nervous. "...Hi," she said softly.
He did not reply.
"Looks like I escaped. Luckily I had a lot of help," her tone faltered. "This is a little awkward but, I...I need to talk to you," Kagome murmured, fiddling with her hands, before they curled into fists and she forced them to her sides. She tilted her chin up. "I want to talk to you. About what I saw while I was in there, about-"
"Miko," his steel laced voice cut into her ramblings. "What did you do?"
Blue eyes widened, searching his face. "I- what do you mean?"
Sesshoumaru's claws twitched and he swallowed, searching inside himself. But he was certain. He knew his own responses and this was not acceptable.
"This one should be experiencing...something right now. Relief, at the very least. And yet I feel nothing of the sort," he stated woodenly.
Sesshoumaru watched as the colour drained from Kagome's face, his skin pricking. Distant panic fluttered within his stomach, a mild comfort that he could at least experience some sensation. Yet the absence of warmth that the miko usually elicited made his chest feel heavy and tight.
"So I ask again: What did you do?"