Chapter 7- End or the Beginning, However One Looks At It
I know I keep saying this but, this chapter is not going to be as long as the other one's. It's like a half day almost, just a glimpse into things before we speed up the storyline once again. Are you guys ready?! Let's get into it.
It was here. The moment had finally arrived. After days of hunting and hours of lying on frozen, rock solid ice and snow the take down was upon them. Two days after the quest began, it was Kevin, Vanessa, and an officer that found the farm on the other side of the river. The farmhouse was identical to Ethan's drawings, down to the tire swing and apples rotting underneath the tree's branches. Securing a warrant took little effort, by now everyone in the New York City judicial system aware of the massive manhunt taking place in the Hudson River Valley. The ink wasn't even dry before the paper was raced up to the hotel, a chorus of cheers rang out as everyone piled into the vans. The hours of hunting were over, the case all but final. It was bittersweet in a way. On the one hand they were ready for things to be over, ready to get back to their usual swing of things. But as they drew closer to the farmhouse, it struck the Chicago team that they'd have to leave a man behind for a bit, part ways and hope from a distance. But more on that later on. Right now, it was take down time.
"Stream is up?" They were in their natural groupings, NYPD taking the lead with the federal departments right behind, Chicago was assigned the perimeter and back entrances. They had the house surrounded, the mastermind behind the terror was not getting away today.
"Negative."
"Copy. Last time things were updated?"
"Hank, when it's live we'll let everyone know." They all joked and rolled their eyes at that one. It was in the single digits out and all were exhausted. Everyone was on edge and antsy to break a door down. Erin breathed into her hands, doing her best to keep the trigger finger warm and ready just in case. As much as she wanted to see justice brought to the monster, that idea of justice felt to be a body zipped up in a bag. Anyone who did this act once deserved to never see the light of day and breathe free air again. But to immediately go back to old ways, they didn't deserve to see the sun rise the following morning. She prayed the creep gave her the chance.
There was nothing moving in the house for several minutes, the squeaking tire swing being the only noise breaking over the wind and wave sounds down below. Ethan was correct, the wind was always there. The house sat several hundred feet off the jagged coastline, a deep plunge into the frigid waters below. Estimating the drop was anything from one hundred to you'd be passed out before kissing the water. It wasn't a place to raise kids, wandering, adventurous kids in the least. There was no warning nor were there any fences. It was property and then a drop off, a creepy yet accurate depiction of life: you never know how far away from the edge you truly are. It was almost as if the perp knew everyone was huddled outside, biding his time and making things miserable. An online stream was scheduled to have come on half an hour ago, an awaiting audience large enough to make the delay rather suspicious. In the beginning they figured he was just making the audience wait, inviting them to be on edge and anticipate the horrific show on the other side. But as they struck the half hour mark all were sure he was onto them. Despite their best efforts to remain shielded and undercover, they were blown. Perhaps it was a paid off neighbor or the footprints on the snow, but he was onto them; or so they thought.
"We have movement in the cellar," Hailey radioed as crashing and screaming rang out into the silent, dark morning. It was the cry of a child, one that sounded frightful and pleaded for help. Hailey was up from her crouch, racing for the door with Hank and Kevin right behind her.
"I'm breaching," she called while stubbing the padlock with the butt of her gun. She forewent any chain of command or approval to breach. For all they knew it was Danny or some other petrified child being tortured. She wasn't going to wait around for permission to do her job. Today was all about asking forgiveness anyway.
"Breach," she heard Olivia call out over all the scanners, the siege of police crashing down doors and screaming their presence. Hailey was two steps from the bottom when she saw the reason for the shouts. There was a child, barely clothed, hanging from chains on the floor. It was female, barely above seven, perhaps eight. She was very much underweight, body convulsing under the fear and determination to get out. A covering had been tied around her mouth but was bit off and dangling around her neck. The girl must've heard them coming, the cue for her to give that final push to live. As Hailey got closer she noted the dark circles under the girls eyes, proof that she hadn't slept and was malnourished for quite some time.
"Sweetie, my name is Hailey and I'm a police officer. I'm here to help." The girl was so disoriented that she took a swipe at Hailey, flinging her chained arm at her before breaking down. Hailey holstered her weapon and gently took the girl in for a hug. There wasn't much left to the girl but skin and bones, hot tears pouring down Hailey's face as she whispered to the girl that things were going to be alright. Around the scene everyone else was radioing things they were finding: cameras, torturing techniques, no food or water and terrible photos. But Hailey ignored it all, clinging to the good part of out the bad.
"Where's my bear," the girl whispered before going limp. Hailey pulled her away as the shivering reached a new height. What was once out of control suddenly became dire.
"Guys, I need an life flight out of here. We've got a malnourished and possible hypothermic child down here. It's Danny." From here it became a race for blankets. Hailey removed her own coat and tossed it over the girl, gently laying on top and hugging the girl again to exchange body heat. Members of Intelligence acted as human blankets as well, the pile becoming two, three people deep while others' cleared a path as medics came flying in. It was after an IV line was set up and warmed saline packs were placed that Hailey let go, holding onto an IV bag as the group worked their way to the chopper. They made it to level ground when the shot rang out, causing everyone to duct and turn at the crack of gunfire right behind them.
"Van Camp is down," Erin radioed over the airwaves, jogging out to the back door to escort Danny to the helicopter. No one spoke to Erin, everyone chose to ignore the fact that she re-holstered her weapon as she moved down the stairs.
"Where are you taking her?"
"Columbia," the pilot called out.
"I'm coming." Olivia was right on her tail, telling Hank and Finn that they were taking over the leadership roles till things had to be wrapped up. Hailey was torn: stay and help wrap things up or take the flight out of here. She hesitated, got the glares from everyone asking her to make her mind up. As much as she wanted to see him, more lives were dependent on the job out in the middle of nowhere.
"Say hi to Jay for me," she yelled before slamming the doors shut. The tears were there, steaming down her face as the chopper lifted into the growing sunlight, soon disappearing over the rolling mountain terrain. Never had she felt so split in her life.
…
He slept the entire day after the worst day ever. He then proceeded to remain awake most of the day after that. Now here they were, four days after the horrific day and things were beginning to normalize just a bit. Pain was finally under control and the mild vasospasm had decided to relinquish its' grip on his fragile brain, leaving everyone rather relived and excited for getting out of the woods. Today was not just any other day, but a bit of a milestone. This fine, freezing, sunny day marked the one week anniversary of the surgery. A week, which felt more like a decade, had come and gone and Jay was still hanging around. Let the small celebration commence.
Since arriving at Columbia Erin all but sprinted up to the NSICU. Once Olivia took over the task of watching and waiting for word on Danny's condition, Erin was in a full on sprint. It had been forever since she saw something good, unable to recall the last time she saw Jay or Will or any part of that miraculous floor and she could not wait a moment longer. As she slipped the shoes off at the door her eyes wandered down the hall, noticing that his door was slid open and the lights were on. That told her that things were happening, some check-in or setback was going on. At this moment visitation hadn't exactly been granted but she didn't care. She'd come this far, she was not about to turn away now. As calmly and friendly as she could, Erin padded her way down the hall, waving to the nursing staff as they retuned with a grin. No one stopped her so onward she went.
Reaching the doorway she collapsed on the glass surface, the sight in front of her making her body relax, sigh, and want to cry over its' pure essence and beauty. Jay was sitting up in bed independently, a huge milestone from the last time she saw him. Will was on the right side of the bed, saying something about the weather and what Jay wanted to eat. It was a distraction for what was happening on the other side of the bed: IV extraction. Will would coax, Jay kept his eyes closed, and the nurse pulled things free.
"Okay, they're both out. Good job!"
"You're such a child," Erin detected from Will which made her silent observation no more. She giggled, covering her mouth as a tear dripped out of her left eye at the same time. What was happening was so hilarious and positive and oh how she suddenly missed it. Her giggle, snort, and nose wipe was enough to alert the members of the room that she was there.
"Oh thank God you're here. It's you or getting help from someone else," Will let out with an exhale. Jay looked away from the bandaids being applied to his wrists and smirked at her. He still was so…distant. He was trying, doing his very best to act as normal and well as possible, but things were still off. It had a lot to do with the room and the knowledge of everything, but Erin didn't let him know that she felt this way. He was trying and in a week's time was doing amazing, nothing more could be asked for or expected.
"How did you sneak in," Will asked while embracing her in a hug?
"We wrapped the case! We found one of the children Van Camp was abusing and brought her here and figured I'd stop by while we're waiting word on her condition."
"How bad," Jay inquired.
"Hypothermia. Not sure how severe but she's responding to treatment. We'll know more in a couple of hours."
"What about.."
"Shot. Dead." Jay didn't go beyond that, just nodded his head before returning to the nurse still in the room.
"What's the pain level right now."
"Like a five again."
"Okay, we'll get another dose going but we won't use the strong stuff till the next check-in. Don't try getting up till I get the wheelchair in here." Through rolled eyes Jay nodded, adjusting his weight as the nurse left.
"Wheelchair?"
"It's shower time! And he's trying to walk all the way down the hall for the first time since the surgery."
"Why am I not surprised?"
"I can walk just fine."
"Do you recall nearly passing out when we got dressed yesterday? Baby steps, Jay. You'll get there but you're not ready yet." Erin took a step back as Will undid all the medical stuff still on Jay, beginning at the chest and working his way down. When they reached the catheter she turned around, muffling giggles as she listened to Jay threaten to pull the thing out while Will told him it would go right back in. A knock on the door and Jay's newest mode of transportation had arrived, the long awaited moment finally here.
"You ready?" Jay responded by pulling the sheets off of him, allowing Will to help him swing his legs over the bed and onto the floor.
"You're going to need two people to help," Will instructed.
"Erin." She was vigorously nodded, was at a free side as Will helped Jay stand. The moment was memorable and lasted for about a second.
"Super dizzy," Jay spoke into Will's shoulder as Erin wrapped an arm around his waist, Jay on the verge of falling back onto the bed.
"It's okay. You're doing really well. Just take your time and adjust." The three of them stood in a weird hug for a minute, and another minute, and a third minute before Jay alerted that things were well enough to be moved. Will helped get Jay upright as he and Erin linked arms behind Jay's back.
"Ready?" Jay nodded, lifting the right foot and ever-so-slowly shuffling it ahead of himself. The first step, he'd done it. Just a few more till he reached his destination. It was a methodical, gradual, embarrassing yet stunning scene, but soon Jay was sitting in the wheelchair and ready for a trip. Erin wanted to hug him she was so proud. But alas, her ever planning and thinking ahead mind had other intentions.
"Is the bathroom bag already down there?"
"Oh shoot, didn't even think that far ahead," Will joked.
"It's fine! You guys go ahead and I'll catch up. I'll also bring another outfit." While rummaging through the bag she could hear Jay greet the outside world, people giving tons of praise and greetings to him as he worked his way to the hallowed room he waited a very long time for. It was so like Jay, trying to play things off while he was tackling massive obstacles left and right. Underneath it all it really was him. He was altered for a bit but deep down he was struggling to breakthrough. She wasn't aware that she was crying until she collected the new outfit and really wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep or relief to be done or the dread that they were about to part ways. She was torn, unsure, really at her whits end. Apart from the whole brain surgery thing, she wanted to freeze this moment forever. They all were happy, reunited, the whole gang working together again. And before she could process and truly savor it all was coming to a close. She hated it, but knew there was no way to alter the course of things. She was still wiping tears when she reached the bathroom, standing in the doorway was Will was walking Jay through the nuances of a hospital bathroom and shower.
"Isn't this the nicest bathroom ever? Like nicer then yours?"
"Why is there a chair in the shower?"
"I'm going to let you figure that out."
"Will."
"Jay, you can't stand without two people helping you. Why is this surprising to you?"
"Why is Erin crying?" Will turned around as Erin forced the biggest grin, digging deep into her eye sockets to rinse the last of the tears out.
"What?! I'm not I'm…well….ugh. Just tired. And very proud of you." She entered the room, placed the bag in the shower and put the clothes on the bathroom counter.
"So I'm guessing you don't want me in here for that part."
"No offense."
"Totally understandable. I can grab some food while you get cleaned up. Did I hear correctly that he can eat?"
"Yup! Got the feeding tube out this morning." Jay gave a thumbs up and smiled.
"It feels nice to be semi-human again." That one made Erin smile.
"So what do you want?"
"I'll take anything at this point."
"Okay. I think I know just the thing."
"Sounds like a plan. Let's get him on the chair and then I can handle the rest from here." It was identical to the trip in the room: Jay standing, getting dizzy before adjusting and slowly moving to his new resting place. Erin moved the wheelchair to a safe place as Will helped pull the t-shirt off and chucked it to the floor.
"I'll be back in twenty," Erin called out as she closed the door.
"Okay! We'll be done by then." Jay waved, giving her that look she'd seen a million times in her life, the one that said 'thank you and I owe you.' Erin hated that those were going to become few and far between before long.
…
It's a weird mindset to get into and until you're there, you just cannot fathom it. This situation where you're very much vulnerable and exposed and out there for the world yet in that moment you do not care. You find yourself in this place, this moment in time where you cannot fend for yourself, do the most basic of tasks and have to rely on someone to stand in your place and complete it. Jay realized this as he threw a washcloth over the last remaining shroud of dignity on him, silently thanking the good Lord above that he had a family member in the room with him instead of some stranger because that would've made everything so much worse. This was all so new for him, this inability to fend for himself. Even back in the Rangers when things were bad, it was just him and himself getting through things. There was no backup, there wasn't a shower buddy or friend he had enough confidence in to help him. He hated being in this situation, this moment of true helplessness. Both brothers knew that Jay despised what was going to happen, but being dirty far outweighed everything else. He just had to suck it up and get through it. One day they'd laugh it off, but today it was the giant, smelly elephant in the room that both of them were tip toeing around.
"Do you condition your hair," Will asked while going through the toiletries?
"Is the bathroom door locked?"
"For the third time, yes it is. Jay, no one else is awake or able to walk around on this floor right now. Plus, everyone knows you're in here and they know to stay away. It's just you and I."
"Fine. Just hurry up and turn the water on." Before long a hand reached into the shower area and turned the faucet towards the wall, the small square space filling up with nearly burning hot water and steam in record time. What greeted Jay wasn't a pleasant stream of small, effortless beads of water, but instead, a proper hailstorm of darting water gun fights. It didn't hit his head but did cause quite a flinch.
"Oh my word," he let out in surprise as Will reached for the shower head."
"Who on earth left it on that one?" Every twist of the head things died down, soon tiny droplets were trickling down the head and all over the body. Without saying anything, the light touch of water hurt. At first Jay wanted to say something but thought otherwise. He was doing something somewhat normal and didn't want things to come to a halt.
"Do the body first and then I'll wash the hair. Can you feel your whole face?"
"Not really."
"Okay, that's normal. Then I'll do that too." Will handed off body wash and a washcloth and Jay proceeded to scrub himself down, the calming and relaxing going out all over his body with every inch that he scrubbed. It felt so good, so invigorating to wash hospital gunk and sweat and whatever else from the last week off of him. He was a new person, a clean individual ready to take on whatever. He may have completed a couple scrub downs, totally out of enjoyment and delaying what was coming next.
"I'm not looking," Will reminded as he puled the curtain back just a bit, sighing over Jay's embarrassed demeanor.
"I need to pull the dressing off. If any of this hurts say something and I'll slow down." Jay nodded, closing his eyes as the tape was released around the gauze. The weird part was that he could hear the fabric catching on the staples but yet could not feel them. For lack of a better word, it very much was an out of body experience. He knew that it should hurt but he felt nothing. Score one for busted nerves.
"Can I at least see what it looks like?" Will did a once over, scrunching his face at the sight of a week young craniotomy incision. The blood, bruising, and swelling were still there, in desperate need of cleaning before things looked remotely better.
"Let's finish the shower first."
"Okay."
"So I'm going to go really gentle, especially as we get near that side of things. If anything hurts.."
"I know." Will sighed, dripping shampoo onto the hair side of the head and began massaging at the rate of a sloth. The two of them were silent for a moment, both just praying for the other to say something. It wasn't till Will's pinkie touched a staple that Jay took things as a cue.
"So when can I start doing more of this on my own?"
"When you get discharged and aren't as dizzy."
"Which is when?"
"Probably in a couple of days."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Pain management is doing well and so far the vasospasm isn't coming back. You need a few more days like today and you should be free to leave."
"What about going home?"
"Yeah, that we'll have to discuss that when we get there." Will wasn't wanting this to be the time that the news was broken: it was going to be quite awhile before Jay was cleared to travel. With a bone flap not refused and him coming off two aneurysms, putting him at thirty-five thousand feet wasn't going to be approved for a few weeks, perhaps even longer. Driving was also out for fear of something happening and they're far away from any form of help. Jay was rather grounded, forced to be a resident of New York till further notice. Will, Erin, and almost everyone else was aware of this, all of them not sure how to break the news to Jay. Without knowing it he was soon going to be a man left behind. He was going to hate it but it was what was best for his health in the immediate future.
"Ready," Will asked once everything was rinsed? Jay nodded, reaching up towards his head as Will placed slides at his feet and wrapped towels around him.
"What, pain spike?"
"No, something is making a clicking sound."
"Ah yes, that's the bone flap."
"What?"
"It's the bone flap they had to remove and then put back when things were done. It's normal to have the clicking at this point. The flap isn't moving but when you move air bubbles or pressure changes happen, which results in a clicking sound or sensation. It's more annoying then anything. You're not doing anything to move it. It's screwed in there."
"Awesome." Will got eye level, giving Jay his best face as he extended and helping hand.
"Ready to see?" Jay responded with a best effort of standing up. Will grabbed a hand, guided him to the mirror, cleaned off the fog and revealed the new version of Jay.
"Oh good Lord," was the first thing that spilled out. He buckled for a quick second, Will right there to steady him. He almost didn't recognize himself, he looked nothing like he remembered. Everyone told him they only took a small portion of hair and that everything looked fine, but all that stood out was the fact that half his head was gone. No hair, no dimension, just flat and skin. Furthermore, the scar was huge. Jay reached up to feel it and was shocked by how large it was compared to his fingers.
"How long?"
"Seven inches." Jay stared, blinked, but nothing changed. The bruising was dark, varying shades of black, blue, and purple. The staples he lost count at thirty. He hated all of it, but realized what the alternative would be.
"Why is my eye swollen and bruised," he eventually asked, doing his best to distract himself.
"It's where they had to remove one of the aneurysms. It's actually going down and looking really good."
"I'm getting kind of cold. Can I get dressed." That was the cue, the signal to bring things to an end. He didn't want to see anymore, was embarrassed at the number of people that saw him in this state. He was different and he despised it. Re-dressing was done in silence, teeth brushing went on without a sound. It was after Will cleaned things up and wheeled Jay to the door that he paused, realizing that he had to say something before returning Jay and an assumed waiting Erin.
"Hey, you look fine. I know you don't believe me, but you really do. Everyone on this floor is going through the same thing or far worse. One day soon everything will go back to how it was and all you'll have is a scar and a grand story to share. Okay?! Can we also keep in mind you've made it a week post-op?"
"Yeah." Jay tried to smile, but Will didn't bite.
"Now do you see why we wanted to hold off on showing you?"
"Yeah." That one perked him up just a little more, Will satisfied. He opened the door to Erin just passing the bathroom door, her spinning around in surprise at the sight of the two of them.
"Talk about timing."
"Look," Jay whispered, pivoting his head for her to see. Erin leaned over, scanning the grotesque surgical site before turning to Jay.
"What do you think."
"It looks bad."
"Eh, it looks rugged. Which is very much you. You should totally use this to your advantage." That was it, the very thing Jay needed to hear.
"Hot dogs?"
"Thought you'd never asked." The three of them worked their way back to the room, ready for a long awaited lunch date for all to share.
…
"Look who traded places, guys!" Erin panned the phone away from herself and towards the chair adjacent to the bed, revealing Jay stuffing his face with food. At the shout of a million greetings and hand waves Jay covered his face in embarrassment, talking through the food in his mouth while Will handed him a napkin.
"Hi guys."
"How does it feel to not be in bed?"
"Weird, but a good weird."
"Don't eat too fast or you'll throw up and guess what'll be going back in," Will educated from somewhere away from the phone. Those back at the farmhouse were gathered in the kitchen, a laptop housing the Skype call sitting in the middle of the table with everyone on site cramming into the viewfinder of the call. Whether it was Intelligence or members of SVU, everyone wanted to see the miracle one a week out of his near brush with death, especially considering the last time they saw him was a wake up call. Four days later the person in front of them couldn't have been more improved. Granted he was still a bit hazy and day dreamed into nothing, but the fact he was awake, talking, sitting up and eating was incredible and all of them were beyond proud.
"So how does it feel a week later?"
"Not as painful. Everything else is still catching up."
"You'll get there. Just take you're time."
"Easier said then done," Erin butted in to everyone's chuckles in agreement. A third call chimed over the current one, the final piece they all were waiting on. Olivia's face came into focus a second later, showing her outside a hospital room and pressing a finger to her lips.
"They're still working on her but so far she's responding to treatment. Body temperature is improving well. She's going to have to stay the night but otherwise she looks to be okay."
"Awesome," everyone replied.
"So guys, we've reached the debrief stage of things. Let's start with the house."
"So this is where most of the shuffling, recording and staging of things went down. The house sits on thirty acres with two barns and a cellar as big as the house. Each room upstairs was staged to match a recording studio that was seen online at some point. The family room here was the epicenter of the IP address. Once techs found the signal scrambler then it all fell into place. We've got teams going around the city, Chicago, and a few other places taking down cells. So far fifteen kids have been rescued.
"That's awesome, good work everyone."
"Who took Van Camp out," was Jay's only interaction with the entire thing.
"Me," Erin beamed in reply, to which Jay's eyebrows perked up.
"Really?!"
"He drew and I fired first."
"Nice."
"Alright, I'm going stay here with Danny for awhile. Just till she gets settled and I'll talk to her when I can. If someone could find the teddy bear and bring it here that would be amazing. One of the doctors said that was the first thing she asked for when she woke up and I want to make her as comfortable as possible while she's in here."
"I'll bring it down once we wrap up here," Hailey cut in.
"Excellent! So next step: paperwork. Everyone will spend the next few days breaking everything down and properly documenting. We've got to make sure everything is perfect on this one. And then after that everyone is free to go about their lives and head back home." Silence filled the airwaves after that. A week ago they were on the heels of something big, no clue how vast or deep the case was nor did they have a clue what would happen to one of their own. Now here they all sat, spread out yet together, celebrating victory on many fronts. What a crazy ride life was sometimes.
"And he fell asleep," Will whispered as Erin hung up the phone, the two of them looking over to Jay slumped over on the chair. It was all part of the recovery stage: exhaustion. It came out of nowhere and stayed around for a bit. Jay was talking not five minutes ago, now sound asleep as Will did his best to recline the chair while making sure to not disturb Jay.
"Shouldn't we move him back," Erin whispered? Will shook his head.
"It's fine. I'll get him moved when he wakes up again. At least this time he went a full hour. Usually it's only thirty minutes." Will went to drag the IV stand close to the chair while Erin threw a blanket over Jay. The change in weight on him made him jump, eyes darting around the room in search of Will.
"Hey, it's fine. Just go back to sleep." Jay yawned and nodded before doing as was told, Erin and Will sighing in relief when the lower lip puffed out.
"I've got to go. As you heard, paperwork is calling my name." Will stood, leading her to the door and escorting her to the elevator. It was in the pulling on of the shoes that he noticed how slow she was going, the hesitation in not wanting to do what she knew she had to. In a way she still cared for him, and them, and it was obvious the apparent end was weighing on her.
"Erin, you realize this doesn't have to be the last time." She stamped her foot into her boot, standing up as tall as she could and hit the elevator button.
"Well, in the immediate future it is. This is going to sound awful but I kind wish everything could be paused just how it is. Just when everything is working and feeling back in place…it all has to change."
"Erin…"
"Will, just ignore my very tired talk. Alright?! Do you want me to bring anything for you guys tonight?" Her choosing to not face him told Will all he needed to know.
"Not that I can think of. But I'm sure when he wakes up he'll want something and want to see everyone again."
"Sounds good." Erin literally jumped on the elevator, clicking the close button before Will could say another word.
Side note: if any of this is messed up or doesn't read right, blame the flu I'm battling. So we're coming into the closing stages of the this little story. The next chapter I'm very excited to share and I think you guys will like how it all plays out. Thanks for reading!