When Harry wakes the next morning, his eyes ache, but he feels more grounded than he has in a long time. It's an effort to leave the room, with its smiling photographs and sparkling tinsel, but he knows now what he has to do. He forces himself to send off a quick letter before heading to the shower.

Thirty minutes later, he's sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for it to be time to leave.

Hermione stares at him blearily as she shuffles into the room, her hair a frizzy mess. "You're up early."

"I'm heading out soon," he explains. "Can you look after Teddy? I'm sure Andromeda or Bill will if you can't — or he can come with me, although it'd be better if he didn't."

"How long will you be?" she asks, frowning as she starts to brew a pot of tea. "I'm home all day today, but I need to be able to concentrate."

"Half an hour to an hour, tops."

"Oh, that's easy, then. Where are you going?"

Harry just shakes his head. As much as he'd like to tell her, he doesn't want to risk losing his resolve by talking about it. "I'll tell you when I get back. It's nothing dangerous," he adds when her gaze snaps up in concern. "I just don't want to talk about it yet. I made enough scrambled eggs for you and Teddy, by the way, if you want some."

To his relief, she drops the issue. "Thanks. Just let me know if you need anything, alright?"

"I always do."

They spend the next twenty minutes chatting idly. Then, when it comes time for him to leave, Hermione gives him a hug that's so tight that he suspects she has an idea about what he's going to do.

She heads upstairs to get some work done before Teddy wakes up and, taking a deep breath, Harry Apparates straight to Caitlin's unit.

Caitlin opens the door almost immediately, a welcoming smile on her face. "This is unexpected. Don't get me wrong; it's wonderful to see you. But your owl was a surprise."

Harry's in the middle of the living room before he knows it, and he hesitates, unsure where to go. He's been over plenty of times, enough to feel comfortable here, but it's different this time. Should he sit on the sofa where they usually snog? Or the armchair where they first…

"Sorry for intruding," he says, cutting short that train of thought. That will only cause problems, one way or another, and he needs to stay focused.

"Don't be ridiculous, Harry. It's Saturday. Besides, if it were an intrusion, I wouldn't have said to come over."

"Right. Yeah, of course."

Her smile turns amused. "Want a drink? I have tea, butterbeer, and — although it's a bit early for it — firewhiskey. It might help you say whatever it is that's on your mind."

"Am I that obvious?"

"Yes," she says bluntly. "Yes, you are. Look, if it's too hard at the moment, leave it for later. I can wait."

Moving forward until she's standing in front of him, she flashes him a smirk that goes straight to his groin and she smooths a crease out of his shirt. "Let me loosen you up first."

It's tempting. Oh, how it's tempting. No matter how much he's struggled with his feelings and the tenuous nature of their relationship, that has always worked for them. It would be so easy to lose himself in her for another day, another week, maybe even another month. With her, he can forget everything else and just be.

He leans forward. His mouth almost touches hers, and her eyes close in anticipation. It would be so easy to kiss her, to go with her to her room and forget about the world once more.

But he can't. It's not enough for either of them, and he knows it.

She's like a dream, offering him everything he needs, and he's been holding onto that for so long in the hope that he'll one day truly want her as well. But he's tired of running, and after last night, he's starting to suspect she isn't what he needs either. She's close to it, perhaps, but she isn't it.

He isn't it for her, either.

Her words run through his head again, and he frowns. Why did Caitlin say she could wait? Wait for what?

The answer hits him like a punch to the gut. She thinks he came here in such a hurry for a positive reason — to ask her to be his girlfriend, perhaps, or confess love. She thinks the reason he's hesitant is because he's struggling to reconcile his feelings for her with his love for Ginny.

She's hoping that by distracting him now, it'll make it easier for him to come out with it later.

She doesn't realise the reason he's hesitating is because he doesn't want to hurt her.

Harry takes a step back. "I'm so sorry. I can't."

Caitlin's eyes open, unfocused and confused, and it seems to take a moment for her to make sense of his words. "What?"

"You're amazing, and I wish I could keep going on like this, but I can't. And I don't think you can, either."

Her expression turns steely, like ore smelted into an impenetrable shield. "Going on like what, exactly?"

"I'm not over Ginny." It feels odd to say her name in Caitlin's house; as much as possible, he's tried to keep from talking about her in her presence. "And I don't think distracting myself will get me there. I can't wallow in the past, but I can't hide from it, either."

"And I'm a distraction."

Panic turns his blood cold. "Not in a bad way! When I'm with you, everything else falls away. But then it all comes crashing back the moment I leave. I thought that was what I needed, but it isn't. I need… I need to find a balance, some way of moving on without leaving her behind. And I don't think this is it."

"I've never even implied that you have to leave her behind," she snaps. "I haven't pushed you to talk about her, but that's only because I didn't think you were ready. But you have always been welcome to."

"I know, but I can't. I don't know if it's us or if it's just not something I will ever be capable of. All I know is I can't keep going with this when it isn't right." He takes a deep breath and starts the spiel he spent that morning rehearsing. "I don't know what I need, and until I do, I can't give you what you need, either. And I don't think I can while we're together. Because as much as I hate saying it, it is a distraction. A great one, but still a distraction."

Hurt and reluctant acceptance intermingle on her face. "The only thing that's keeping me from hexing you right now is the fact that I knew from the start that this was a long shot. But I won't wait around for you. If you work it out before I've moved on, I might be willing to give this another chance, but I won't sit around waiting for you to work through your problems."

"I wouldn't want you to. I do want you to be happy, Caitlin."

"I want that for you as well." She sighs. "I think it's time for you to leave now."