13.

He's actually working on the new replica's samples when it happens; he's astounded to find they're developing their own DNA, their own signatures-essentially, becoming organic humans. But before he can compute the thrill of this, his door is being thrown open.

"Boy, I told you if you want to come you must knock-"

"It's Ienzo," but he's grinning, his eyes alright. "Even, he's awake!"

"He… is?"

Demyx grasps his hand and pulls him towards Ienzo's room. "He's been talking and everything. His vitals look great. He's… he's really…" His voice hitches a little.

"Don't get emotional on me, boy. I'm sure you want to be on your best behavior. Not when you have so much to tell him."

"Yeah… I do."

Even squeezes his hand gently. "It'll all be alright. He's nothing if not understanding."

"Do you think we'll be… different?"

"...I've no idea why you're asking me about the state of your own romantic affairs."

He takes a breath. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"You are different, Demyx. But I think he'll see any changes as for the better."

Demyx nods once. "I'm sure you two want to talk."

It occurs to Even that, after all this time, he's unsure of what to say to a conscious Ienzo. "We all have a lot to catch Ienzo up on."

Demyx winks once, and disappears. The change in the boy is immediate. He's so much happier.

Even feels something like a flutter of nerves when he sees the open door. He takes a deep breath to compose himself. And enters.

Ienzo's sitting up, his feet over the side of the bed, a blanket draped around his shoulders. "Hi, Even," he says.

The relief is uneven in him. "Oh, child," he says. "Have you any idea how worried we've all been?"

"Apparently so." He smiles.

Even approaches the boy. "How do you feel?" he asks cautiously. "Spare me no small ache-you truly did a number on yourself."

"Actually quite well, against all odds," he says. "Ironically I'm rather tired."

He takes the boy's wrist, feels for a pulse. He brushes some of the dirty hair out of Ienzo's face. "It was a brave thing you did," he says softly, in case anyone is listening. "Brave… and foolish."

"I'm afraid I can't watch idly by anymore. Not if I have the power to make change."

"Nor should you, but… Ienzo. If you're to be as self-sacrificing as this, you must be more careful." He sits next to him. "You… essentially liquified your own organs. For some time you read as braindead. We thought-"

"I wouldn't make it?" He nods once. "It was quite hard, to claw myself back. I do not intend on going anywhere. I have so much to do still."

"Well. I'm afraid you must take things easy. Your body's likely going to be weak. You shouldn't do anything strenuous, physically or mentally."

"Human fallibility," Ienzo mutters.

"...Quite."

"I suppose it was illuminating," he says, twisting the end of the blanket in one hand. "I… regained my lexicon. But it's different. Let me-" He holds out a palm; Even grasps it and pushes it down.

"You can show me another time," he says. "I'm sure it's fine, considering your miscreant has gotten his weapon back too, but it never hurts to be too cautious. And you should be, boy. Do you realize how close you were to-"

"That's what I fought for six weeks, Even." His tone is sharp. "Every minute, if I didn't consciously concentrate, I could've-" He trails off. "What happened? Out here?"

"You were asleep. No neural activity. Nothing. We weren't sure-"

"That I had a will at all?"

"Yes. Were you conscious of anything? Did you hear us talking to you?"

Ienzo thinks. "No," he says. "I heard Demyx's sitar, but I was in his memories. I might not have actually heard anything."

"He did play for you. Extensively, and much to Dilan's displeasure."

He laughs a little, then sobers. "I… know how you feel about it. Thanks for tolerating him."

"A lot can change in six weeks. It's been… surprising. I figure… it could've been worse. He was devastated. I was worried that he might not be invested in you."

"...That he would use me." He shakes his head. "You needn't worry. Not about him, anyway."

"No. Clearly you're your own menace."

He bites his lip.

"Your life has worth, too. You needn't spend it to atone."

"I'm trying to realize that. Truly I did not mean to do anything reckless. But by the time I got out, it was too late."

Even squeezes his hand. "It's alright, little one."

"I'm twenty. You needn't call me that." He offers a smile. Then, rather timidly, he embraces Even.

"Alright. Both of you so emotional. Pull it together, yes?"

He chuckles. "I suppose… now we find out what comes next in this life."

"Yes, well. Not until you recover. Do you feel up to eating something light?"

Now that Ienzo's awake again, the mood at the castle has brightened; or at least it does for several days. It's beyond a relief to know everyone is well.

Even feels as though he's wilting. He tries to be there for the boy, to offer him any help he can with his recovery. They walk, the two of them. They do have a lot to talk about. But what to say? How to say it?

Ienzo looks a bit withered as well, a dullness coming back into his eyes. "You alright, boy?" Even asks.

He fiddles with his turtleneck, pulling it higher over his scars. "Strangely, I am rather dejected," he admits. "Without work… I feel listless. Moreover, I fear I'm beginning to process… all that has happened." He's silent for a moment, shoving his hands into his pants pockets.

Even sighs. With all the boy's gone through over the years, this could be dangerous.

"It feels like something of an iceberg. All these complicated feelings keep washing over me, and I've no way to adequately deal with them." He opens his mouth, then shuts it.

"What is it you need to say?"

"I am twenty years old… and yet… my heart is quite literally that of a child's. I'm not prepared ." He scratches at his cheek, fidgeting anxiously. "Demyx and I are talking to each other about it. He's incredibly supportive, but yet-he also has so much to deal with. So much."

"I've heard… stories," Even admits.

"It's all so complex. I know I need to open myself in order to heal. But I'm afraid that, should I…" He trails off.

"You might not be able to bear up against the pain?"

"...Quite."

It's a snowy day, as have been most recently. "But you must," Even says softly. "You can't deny your past forever."

"I know this." He takes a long, deep breath. "Which is why I want to go to the basement."

Even feels his heart skip a beat. As calmly as he can manage, he says, "Why would you want to do that? It's just all moldering architecture."

"Something must be down there. I can no longer feel it the same way I used to, but I still feel something. They were the first artificial Heartless-likely they could not burrow into the realm of darkness. Our victims might still very well be trapped there."

Even turns to face him. He sees a muscle in Ienzo's jaw twitch, bracing himself. "How do you propose to do that? I know Zexion was a powerful mage, but Ienzo-you're recovering from a coma, and you have no power."

He drops his eyes. "I suppose you're right."

"There's also no proof anything is down there. Boy, I'm afraid that chapter is over-done with. You need to move on."

"And how do you propose I do that?" he asks, coolly.

Even can't think fast enough to respond.

"You don't know either," he says instead. "Do you?"

"Ienzo-"

"I should go. I said I'd meet Demyx for lunch."

Ienzo's right. The boy's not going to take unsubstantiated platitudes-nor should he.

Even turns back to his writings. His head is positively spinning, but every time he tries to focus, to brainstorm, he hits something of a dead end. He never used to be so incapable of thought. So much for being a devious researcher.

He finds himself gravitating towards their research during the Organization years…

Why was the use of power so dangerous for Ienzo? He reads what they learned about the will… its nebulousness, its intangibility… and something clicks.

Ienzo doesn't have a human will.

Rather, it wasn't , considering he became a Nobody before it was fully formed, but it became. The energy caused by that shift alone must have only destabilized him more… Trying to slam together the humanity of his decision to save his beloved and the fact that this was a Nobody power must've been cataclysmic. Increasing the risk a thousandfold.

In the middle of all this research, he receives a message from one of the restoration committee members, asking to talk to him about his report. It's been close to two months since he sent it; he's surprised it's taken this long for someone to have questions.

He meets the man in the hallway. He's not sure what to expect; honestly it puts him a bit on edge, like he's been caught. But this was a willful confession.

"You've been cleaning the place up," the man says. He's perhaps a few years older than Demyx, but more mature in his bearing. Even's eyes catch the scar on his face. "It looks good. Name's Squall Leonheart. Call me Leon." He offers a hand.

"...I am Even. One of Ansem's former apprentices. But you know that, I'm sure."

He nods.

"Could I offer you anything? Coffee? Tea? I'm afraid it's always rather cold in here."

"Not necessary, but thanks. Is there somewhere we can talk?" His expression is stoic and his voice betrays little. It's rare that Even has trouble reading someone.

"Of course. There's a fire in the sitting room. You'll likely be more comfortable there."

It's here they settle; Even on the small sofa, Leon in one of the high-backed chairs. He pulls a steno pad and pen out of his pocket, all business. "So I heard you were MIA, for a while," Leon says.

"I was… tying up a few things. Doing what I could in that fight."

"Solving Ienzo's body problem," he says, with a small smile. "He almost ended up on the business end of Yuffie's shuriken, when she was patrolling the place. We didn't know anyone was here. But he offered his help. I'm not surprised by much anymore, but that was… something."

"He wishes to atone. Like the rest of us."

"So I've heard. Aerith is beyond excited Demyx wants to learn from her. It'd be nice if she could actually sleep for once."

Even has a feeling the small talk is supposed to be warming Leon to him. But he has no idea what the other man wants. "How can I help you?" he asks. He tries to smile.

"I've been combing through your report. I just had a few questions."

"...Anything."

Leon seems to think for a few minutes. "After you… experimented on these people," he begins slowly. "What did you do with them?"

Even takes a slow breath to compose himself. "There were no bodies," he says. "Little physical to dispose of. A vast majority became Heartless, and the few that begat Nobodies… Braig quickly eliminated them. You likely remember him as Xigbar."

He scribbles quickly. "What were the families told?"

"Well-nothing. It was only when the junior apprentices-Lea and Isa- called the authorities on us that Xehanort… convinced us to cast aside our hearts." His hand flutters at his breastbone; he forces himself to drop it back to his lap. "I'm not sure if they still know."

"And the list you gave me was comprehensive?"

"Yes. We were rather meticulous in our records-for good and ill."

"How long was it really going on?"

"In total-only about two years. These things escalated unusually quickly. And once Xehanort was found, all bets were off, weren't they?" Even sighs. "It took us all too long to realize the boy was corrupt. By then… so were we. There are no excuses."

"And no law," Leon says. He looks up and smiles, and Even doesn't know what to get out of it. "But seems like humanity has changed you."

"I was able to return to myself, the person I was before darkness, that is. That gives one… clarity. I think the others feel similarly. I only became Vexen again to assist the other side in finding and giving form to their lights. The least I could do. We've already caused so much destruction-this town included."

Leon keeps writing, his eyes on his pad. "What you did made us vulnerable, sure. But ultimately it was Maleficent, and her stupid plots, that made us fall."

Even blinks. "What?"

He looks up. "She was the one who spread the darkness-didn't you know that?"

"If I did… I surely did not process it until now." He shakes his head. When he caught wind of Radiant Garden's fall, he'd just assumed-

It does not matter whether or not they made it fall; they made so many other worlds fall as well. Xemnas needed Heartless for fodder, for Kingdom Hearts. How else to get them? "I guess the only other question I have concerns Ansem, but I haven't been able to get in touch with him," Leon says. "Maybe you can help?"

"I can't pretend to understand that man. But I can offer an answer." It doesn't surprise Even at all that Ansem's been dodging those calls.

"Is he going to try and retake power?"

Even blinks. He's been expecting more questions about the genesis of their experiments. "I don't believe so," he says slowly. "Would you even want something like that?"

Leon purses his lips. "It'd be a bandaid on a larger problem," he admits. "There's no government, nothing ruling the town. And now that so many people are coming in-it just gets more and more obvious we need some rules, just to keep people safe."

"What, no robbery and murder?" Even asks dryly.

"...Pretty much. Should that happen, what could we really do to stop them? Not to mention, without an adequate headcount of people, we can't be sure how to allocate or plan for resources. Anarchy is well and good-if people have good intentions." He shuts his notebook. "Thanks for this. You were pretty thorough, for the most part."

"I would hope so."

"The only outstanding question I have… do you all intend on staying here? Better than the place rotting, for sure, but I just need to know how far our patrol has to stretch."

"It was-is-our home," he says. "We can be the most useful here."

"Alright. Thanks." Leon stands.

"I don't suppose there's anything I can assist with?" he asks. He hopes he sounds calm.

He shrugs. "Not so much that I can think of, at least right now. You must have a lot on your hands as is, getting this place habitable."

The subtext, such as it were, is clear. You've done enough. "...Alright."

"Stay warm," he says briskly, and leaves.

Not a moment later, Dilan saunters in. "What was that about?"

"Oh, he just had some questions," Even says. "I had given over an impact statement."

Dilan's eyes widen in horror. "Why would you do that?"

Even blinks. "As if they don't already know?"

"Even, you've-you've no idea what you've done, do you?"

He cocks his head. "We can't hide behind these walls. The things we did have hurt everyone here-the least we can do is be honest about it."

"There's no government. What of those seeking revenge?"

"Like they wouldn't have already?" Even asks.

His face is very red.

"The least we can do is cooperate with what the committee needs."

"For all you know, you might have just signed our death sentences."

Even rolls his eyes. "I hate to break it to you, Dilan, but times are different. These people are not nearly as ruthless, as merciless, as us. As if we'd ever get such an easy escape from the guilt."

He's scowling, his fists clenched tightly. "You do not get to make decisions for us anymore," he snaps, and storms away.

Anymore? Had he ever?

Even isn't angry, though. He's just tired. He goes back to his rooms, notes with annoyance that he needs to do laundry. He gets it done and is just folding the dry things when he hears a gentle knock at his door. "Enter."

He sees Demyx poke his head in.

"Did you need help with something?" he asks. Then frowns; the boy's face is pinched, anxious. "You do not look well."

He hesitates, then shuts the door behind him. "Ienzo wants to go to the basement."

Of course he told him about it. "Yes. And?"

"Well-what if something's down there?"

"I thought you could adequately defend yourself now?" It's making sense. Ienzo wants Demyx to go with him, to supposedly free whatever's down there-if there even is anything.

"It's not me I'm worried about." He exhales and rumples his hair. "He's got the lexicon. What if he tries using his powers again?"

He shakes his head. "He's aware of the risk. I doubt he'd try."

"What if he doesn't do it consciously?"

He raises an eyebrow. "I had the impression it took a lot of effort for him to traverse your memory." Not to mention the return...

"But he couldn't control it. I don't know what this is going to entail. If I'm just going to beat up some Heartless, or maybe there's nothing down there and this is just for closure. But what if ." His hands are trembling as he gestures.

"Since when was forethought a strength of yours?" Even asks. "Boy, now you're making me worry." The last thing they need… he's only just-

"I'm sorry. I didn't know who else to ask."

He sighs. He sets aside his things, noting that his hands are shaking now, too. There's one way he might be able to get ahead of this-to stop Ienzo from killing himself, because this is what it's rapidly becoming. "Come along."

In a blur, they both go downstairs. He packs him a simple med kit, and then reaches for the nuclear option, with a syringe. He places them on the table in front of the boy. "You're aware of the correlation at this point, of heart failure and overuse of power."

"Well-yes."

"I've been poking through our research. The reason why it struck Ienzo so intensely has largely to do with the fact that he quite literally grew up as a Nobody. Trying to adequately corroborate his humanity with a Nobody will served to heighten the risk. It may not happen again. Perhaps he's adjusted. At the same time… it may."

Demyx eyes the vial. "What's that?"

"A serum to induce sleep. Should he begin to exhibit the same symptoms, you should dose him. And then call for help. I'm giving this to you as a precaution only." Even unwraps the syringe, preps it, and then caps it off.

Demyx shudders. "That's a poison. Not a sedative."

"Sleep akin to death," Even murmurs. "Better than actual death, is it not?" Anything to stop the damage before it stops him. But Demyx doesn't take it from him. His skin has gone ashen.

"I can't."

"You must. This is-" He exhales, exasperated. "For goodness' sake, you might not even need it." Even places it on the table in front of him. "Have you tried convincing him out of it?" If Ienzo will do anything for anyone, it's Demyx.

He nods. "Yes. But how can we escape it? We live here. He's reminded of it every day. If it's not now, it'd be some other time."

"The boy is… determined." He sighs. "I'm trusting you with this. With him. Do you understand?" Don't let him slip away.

Another nod. There's something like resolve in his eyes.

"So take it."

After a moment where he seems to struggle, he grasps the syringe and leaves without another word.

Even finds it hard to breathe. He tries to convince himself that this won't happen-that there's nothing down there, and if there is, that Ienzo can't be of any help to them. Heartless don't have memories.

That wasn't all Ienzo did to Demyx.

He altered things. Lessened the brunt of trauma, the binding of it.

What were Heartless-theirs-other than pure trauma, pure darkness?

Even rests his head in his hands. He can't. He can't let him-

But the suffering of those poor people-

He hears himself gasping. He can't lose Ienzo to darkness. Not again. Was it truly the boy's decision? Or is it some-suicidality he isn't fully conscious of? Doesn't he have things to live for? Can't he see that?

The boy can never be happy if he can't move on.

The boy can't move on unless he does something to atone.

He can't atone without helping their victims.

Even sinks wearily onto his cot and prays for unconsciousness.