16. The feature presentation

'Is this what I think it is?' she said to Ron in a clipped, almost amused tone.

'I think it's necessary, don't you?' said Ron gravely.

A smile slipped out onto her face. She could feel that it was an unpleasant one. She stepped away from the wall and into the open space in front of the living room area proper.

'I suppose you've been softening me up over the weekend, ready for the emotional onslaught this evening?'

She looked around the room. These people are supposed to be my friends. She found she couldn't make eye contact with them. They seemed to look through her anyway. But Harry was there, sitting among them, pretending to be one of them. She reached for his gaze just for an instant, to grasp it and hold on for dear life. It was true and clear, she was sure of it. Or almost.

'You give me too much credit,' said Ron. 'It wasn't that organised.'

'Well, that's something I suppose. But tell me,' she said, fixing him with her gaze, 'why is it that I'm to be exposed in front of so many people this evening?'

'It's not hard to see that there's something seriously wrong, Hermione' began Neville, suddenly falling silent as Luna elbowed him in the arm.

'Everyone is here because it hurts them to see you suffering like this,' said Ginny.

Hermione looked at her quickly. She's sincere. She did a quick tour of the faces in the room. All sincere. All genuinely concerned. She looked away as quickly as she had looked in. I can't bear it. But I'll have to.

'I care a lot about everyone in this room,' she began slowly. 'I'm truly sorry for causing you pain. If it's come to this, things must be bad. I just want to say one thing: it was never my intention to become a bad person, or to torment those closest to me.'

'Hermione dear, no one thinks you're a bad person,' said Mrs Weasley warmly.

'I am,' she continued. 'I am a bad person. I've made myself immune to your suffering.'

'But we're not immune to yours,' said Ginny. 'And we want to help you. We can all see that you're harming yourself worrying about this supposed threat. You're letting it consume you.'

'You're right,' said Hermione, her voice choked and low. 'It is selfish of me to behave this way. But I feel like I have an almost endless capacity to endure this. And it's as if I have to, because in order to face her, I need to have nothing to lose.'

'I'm sorry, Hermione,' said Bill Weasley in a pleasant tone. 'I don't know too much about this threat you've talked about. Why do you need to have nothing left to lose?'

Hermione smiled weakly. The anger had drained away, leaving only tiredness.

'This is a nice house. You and Fleur have a lovely house too. All of us live comfortable lives in nice homes, enjoying the victory that was won for us … when was it? Six years ago now I think? And that's as it should be. We've nothing really to worry about. Which makes us complacent. And our complacency makes us an attractive target. That's why we have so much to lose.'

'I've heard this before,' said Percy. 'What's changed now?'

'What's changed is that she's ready to act.'

'By she you mean this Lillian Herrick,' Percy added.

Who else could it be? The anger rekindled itself in an instant. She forced herself to exhale, to calm down. Of course it isn't obvious to them.

'Yes, Lillian Herrick,' she said slowly, all her energy ebbing away again.

'Wasn't she always ready?'

She felt herself clenching her fists. But now she was back in control.

'I don't think so. Now she has a group of followers. She knows a lot about us. And she has the power to follow through on her threats.'

'So she claims,' Ron muttered.

'She wants to be underestimated,' Hermione replied, scowling at Ron. 'You're practically doing half her work for her.'

'But how do we fight an enemy that's effectively invisible and seems to be perpetually biding its time?' put in Percy.

Hermione sighed. But that's a pertinent question, at least.

'I don't know yet,' she said after a heavy pause.

'What real proof do you have that she's a threat?' Percy asked.

His tone annoyed her, really annoyed her.

'The kind of evidence that would only seem convincing if you already believe that there is a threat,' she replied quickly, folding her arms.

'Well, this isn't getting very far,' said Percy.

'I didn't summon you all here to give you a presentation about Lillian Herrick,' Hermione replied evenly.

'What's the worst that can happen, though, really?' asked Luna, suddenly piping up. 'If the world knows the truth about wizards, I suppose some people will fear us and attack us, but most people won't mind that they live next door to wizards. Maybe we'll have to go into hiding for a while, and places like Hogwarts and Diagon Alley would never be the same again, but we'll keep going.'

'How can you be so relaxed about such a thing?' said Ginny. 'If what Hermione says is going to happen actually happened, don't you think it would be awful?'

'You're both half-right, said Hermione. Again, this was somehow more promising. 'There probably are lots of people who would have nothing against us. Or even think we're cool or something. But there are enough people who won't. Enough to make the secrecy that surrounds us worth protecting.'

She took a deep breath. I suppose I'd better make my final pitch.

'The people who want to expose us are going to say that wizards are responsible for all sorts of crimes, crimes committed by Voldemort and all the other dark wizards of the last fifty years, or a hundred years, or a thousand years for that matter. They won't make a distinction between dark wizards and good wizards. Witchcraft is witchcraft, they'll say. And plenty of people will believe them. What would you do if you found out that there's a secret society living right under your nose, one with mysterious magical powers? How will you explain the difference between a good curse and an evil curse? And even if you can, do you think they'll listen?'

'Hermione,' said Ron, trying to adopt a reasonable tone. 'If all that did happen, you're probably right: it would turn out that way. It would be a right old mess, and pretty dangerous too. But the point is: how likely is it to happen? If you spend half the time speaking to Isaac Edwards and the other half speaking to this Lillian Herrick, you're bound to think it's likely.'

Hermione shot him a withering look.

'Is that the extent of your argument?'

'No,' he replied. 'You know the Ministry has a file on the Seven-Pointed Circle and categorised it as a kind of hypnotism and a low threat?'

'Yes, I've read that file.'

'And the Ministry's wrong?'

'Yes. I know it's wrong because I can use the Circle myself.'

'Did you know that Isaac Edwards raised the threat of witchfinders harassing wizards and trying to enter magical places before, about ten years ago? And that the evidence he presented saved his contract with the Ministry from getting cancelled?'

'I knew about that too, Ron.'

'Don't you think it's a funny coincidence?'

'Do I think it's a coincidence that witchfinders would periodically start harassing wizards and trying to expose our society? What else do you think witchfinders do?'

'You know who Camelia Morley is, of course?'

Hermione's eyes widened with surprise.

'I do. She was Stephen Morley's sister. But I'm curious how you know who she is?'

Ron coughed.

'I've been doing some investigating of my own.'

'Investigating that you didn't tell me about.'

'I watched the man visit her grave. He seemed to be still in mourning after all these years.'

'I'm sure he is,' said Hermione. 'I can't imagine what it's like to lose a sister or brother. But how much do you know about Camelia Morley? Did you know that she was a witch?'

'No, I didn't get that far.'

'Yes, she was a muggle-born witch. The only one in her family. Only her family didn't like it. They wanted to cure her, or coerce her into giving up magic.'

'Don't tell me they murdered her?' Neville exclaimed.

'No, in the end she committed suicide.'

The room went silent.

'I don't know exactly what we can conclude from the story of Camelia Morley,' Hermione continued when no one else spoke. 'We don't know much of the details, and Stephen Morley is hardly likely to tell us.'

'Why don't you use the Circle on him and find out?' Ginny asked.

'That's the sort of thing Lillian Herrick would do,' Hermione replied. 'And anyway, I don't think the information would help us all that much. I think Stephen Morley disliked wizards even before he lost his sister, but losing her must have intensified his hatred.'

'You mean you think he drove her to suicide?' asked Mrs Weasley.

Hermione looked at the faces before her, particularly those of the Weasley family. She wondered whether Mr Morley had been involved in trying to cure Camelia Morley of her ability to do magic. But the subject was already too fraught.

'He has his reasons for doing what he does,' she replied. 'But with Lillian Herrick secretly helping him, that makes him a dangerous enemy.'

'But what proves she's helping him?' asked Ron. 'Apart from the fact that she says she is.'

Hermione sighed. It always comes back to that.

'Tell us this, Hermione,' said Ginny suddenly. 'You keep telling us how amazingly subtle and dangerous this Lillian Herrick is. How do you know that she hasn't corrupted you already?'

Hermione looked around at the gathering before her. Judging by the dark expressions, furrowed brows and undercurrent of whispers, her friends no longer knew what to think. She glanced at Harry. He was staring fiercely into the distance.

'I suppose I am corrupted, in a way,' she said slowly, a kind of desperate defiance creeping into her voice. 'I have to corrupt myself to a certain extent to fight her on her level.'

'Hermione, beware,' said Mr Weasley, his tone as reasonable and amiable as ever. 'That doesn't sound good, whatever the stakes.'

Hermione looked plaintively at him.

'It isn't good. It's a bad idea, possibly the worst I've had. But there's no other way of doing this.'

A prolonged silence greeted her last statement. At last Ginny spoke. Her voice was low and uncomprehending.

'How can you expect us not to worry about you when you speak like this?'

'Worry about me by all means,' said Hermione. 'Just don't try to stop me.'

'I was afraid you were going to say that,' said Ron, suddenly coming towards her. She instinctively took a step back, her eyes flashing in fear.

'Have you decided to try and take my wand after all?' she asked defiantly.

'No,' said Mrs Weasley, 'but something has to be done about you.'

'Done about me?' Hermione's gaze shifted quickly onto Ron. 'What is the plan then?'

Ron stood up.

'There's no plan. This is just intended to show you that you can't go on like this on your own.'

Hermione looked somewhat perplexed.

'I thought I was on my own. And so far I can't say I've been given the impression that we're all about to join forces and fight Lillian Herrick together.'

Ron's face was unapologetic.

'You want us to be as united as we were when we stood against Voldemort?'

'That would help.'

'Well, we're not so disunited as you think. Everyone here has pledged to stand and fight when the time comes.'

'Good,' Hermione replied. 'But when will that time be? When the cat is out of the bag? Who are we going to fight? We might have a third of the population of Britain against us by then!'

'Doesn't even what I just said sway you?' said Ron.

'Sway me to do what?'

'To take a rest from all this! To calm down! To get some help!'

She could no longer hold back the anger rising up in her.

'I told you Ron, if you want to have me sent away to a mental hospital, feel free to. I'll go and pack now if you like.'

Ron hesitated and Hermione turned to leave.

'Wait a minute, young lady,' said Mrs Weasley, leaping to her feet. Hermione stopped in her tracks and turned slowly.

'This can't go on,' Mrs Weasley continued. 'It's about time you paid a little attention to the effect you're having on my son. I'm sorry to have to say this, but you're barely recognisable from the girl I knew in years gone by. Everyone here is worried about you, but we're also worried about poor Ron. He might as well be on his own for all the attention you give him. He doesn't complain, but it's quite clear to all of us. And I'm not going to let this fester for any longer!'

Hermione listened in silence.

'You're right,' she said at last, her voice faltering. 'Ron has suffered a lot. Guiltlessly too.'

'And what are you going to do about it?' said Mrs Weasley more gently, somewhat placated.

Hermione looked at Ron. He also seemed somewhat placated. How am I going to make amends? Her mind was reeling in a void, grappling with the impossibility of answering the question.

The company was listening closely, waiting for her answer. But she was rooted to the spot, her fists clenched and her eyes wide and dark, dark enough to swallow their combined gaze.

'Are you going to say something or not?' said Ron at last, his tone grim again.

'No,' said Hermione at last, dismally bowing her head. 'I can't answer.'

'Well, in that case I'll tell you what I think,' continued Ron. 'And you can just shake your head or nod as you see fit.'

She said nothing and didn't raise her head.

'Maybe this threat is real and maybe it isn't', said Ron. 'You obviously believe it is, but at the same time this is a convenient way to avoid me.'

She shook her lowered head.

'But you are avoiding me. I barely ever see you. When you're not completely out of it, wandering the cosmos or whatever you're doing, you just sit around sulking about the fact that no one takes you seriously.'

This time she nodded slowly, her gaze still directed at the carpet.

'You have no conversation, apart from the latest progress report about how far inside the circle you are.'

She nodded again.

'Did you forget that you're supposed to be in a relationship with Ron?' said Ginny, suddenly stepping in. 'Have you only just noticed you've been paying no attention to him? Perhaps you didn't realise it, but you've taken advantage of the fact that he's been amazingly tolerant.'

Hermione sniffed and wiped her nose before managing a half-nod.

'You stand here telling us that you're a bad person and that for all our sakes you have to go on, getting worse and worse,' said Ron, picking up where his sister left off. 'But that's not really the point. What it really comes down to is that even after all this time, I'm still not good enough for you.'

His voice seemed to rebound off the living room walls.

At last she looked up. There were tears in her eyes and her face was as white as a sheet.

'Is this how you felt?' she said in a soft voice, apparently to no one.

I did, Hermione.

'It must have made you so strong.'

Like I could move heaven and earth.

'Maybe I'm strong enough now to beat you.'

Not quite.

'But I'm not finished yet.'

'Who are you talking to?' Mrs Weasley exclaimed. Hermione's eyes refocused on the gathered company. A tear rolled down her face. Then she exhaled slowly, her breath rushing weakly out of her. The tears around her eyes seemed to withdraw back into her tear ducts and the light in her eyes seemed to go out.

'To the voice in my head,' she replied at last. 'I think I prefer what it says.' The voice came out cold and sardonic. It seemed to echo around the room. No one dared to speak.

Suddenly Harry was up out of his seat in the corner of the room and standing in front of her, taking hold of her hands.

'Hermione,' he said in a gentle, but commanding voice. 'I know what you're trying to do. You don't have to do it.'

Her eyes didn't meet his.

'Everything's in place,' she said slowly, apparently in answer to him. 'I've become what I'm supposed to become.'

'Forget what's been said here tonight.'

He let go of her hands and looked around at the assembled company, anger on his face.

'They don't know what they're doing. They're just instruments, brought here to torment you, to try and break you. They're useful idiots.'

'Harry Potter!' Mrs Weasley began. 'We're nothing of the …'

'Don't Mum,' Ginny interrupted, not taking her gaze off Harry.

'I'm really sorry,' he said emphatically, still looking at them. 'But you are.'

He turned back to Hermione. Her eyes seemed more focused on him. Reaching out his hands, he guided her head towards his. She watched him silently. He kissed her on the top of the head and held it against his.

'You're not alone. I'll never let that happen. I promised you I'd go with you wherever.'

'Even down into the dark?' Her voice was soft, but loud enough for the room to hear her.

'Even there.'

'Well then,' she replied. 'Come down with me. Tell everyone the truth.'

He looked at her in silence. Then he turned to face the others, taking Hermione by the hand as he did so. They were all staring at him. The expression on Ginny's face was almost unbearable. He could hear his heart pounding in the back of his throat.

'It's all an act,' he began. 'Hermione and me drifting apart, I mean. We intended it as a way to stop hurting Ron and Ginny. So we could all live in peace. Or at least try to. It was a mistake, almost certainly doomed to failure, but it was still the right thing to do. So here we are. You must be feeling that you don't deserve this. And up to a point you'd be right. But only up to a point. Hermione will never say that you don't deserve her, but I will. I'm not even sure I deserve her. But I'm proud to have shared this pretence with her these last two years.'

He kept his gaze fixed on the company. Still there was no reaction other than silence.

Ron was the first to speak.

'Two years my arse,' he said contemptuously. 'What does she wear on her wrist?'

Harry turned and looked at Hermione. She looked curiously at Ron then glanced down at her left wrist. So that's where we are. Oh how perfect. Of course, that's the memory that was stolen. The lights' incessant chase around her wrist seemed almost to quicken, the precision of their movements never more graceful. Her hatred for everyone suddenly had no bounds, just as there were none to her love for Harry.

'Would you like to see it Ron?' she asked with sarcastic sweetness. 'It's a pity you can't.'

She reached out and touched her wrist, which to the assembled company was bare and unadorned. 'Not even Harry can. That's how selfless a gift it was.'

'What gift?' said Ginny suddenly, her voice distorted by anguish.

For a moment no one spoke.

'Why don't you tell her, Ron?' Hermione continued in the same voice. She felt exhilarated, but at which emotion she couldn't tell. 'Since you seem to know all about the things that are the most private to me. The things that are the most precious to me.' She raised her other hand and touched the bracelet. The lights were cool as they pulsed through her fingers. She felt light-headed, weightless almost.

'I couldn't even feel it,' said Ron, his voice cracking. 'I couldn't feel it when I touched your arm. When you let me touch it, that is. And it was there all along, around your wrist.'

'Yes, Ron,' she replied. 'All along. Connecting me to him.'

The next instant Ron rushed towards Harry, bundling him onto the floor and punching him repeatedly. It took George and Neville to pull him away and restrain him.

'Did you let him touch you?!' Ron was shouting, still struggling in George's grasp.

Harry pulled himself up from the floor, blood dripping from a split lip.

'You don't get it, do you?' he replied, glaring at Ron. 'It was never about that. It's about friends being loyal to each other.'

'Loyalty to friends?!' Ron exclaimed. 'Are the two of you completely out of your minds or something?'

'Why didn't you listen to her?' said Harry, jabbing his finger in Ron's direction. 'Why didn't you believe her? You call that loyalty? You call arranging this little soiree loyalty? I'd call it betrayal.'

'Betrayal? I haven't betrayed anyone. Unlike you.'

'If you say so. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm the last person who should be filling you in.'

'Nice try, Harry,' said Ginny, who until that point had stood rooted to the spot in silence. 'But your betrayal is worse.'

Harry looked at her but couldn't find any words to answer.

'She's right, Harry,' said Hermione, looking up again. 'Our betrayal is worse. But theirs will have more serious consequences.'

'What do you have to say, Harry?' said Ginny in a quiet voice. 'Do you hear her? Us and them. That's the truth, isn't it?'

'I'm sorry,' said Harry softly. 'I really am, hard as that may be to believe. But I can't let Hermione do this on her own.'

'Oh what a gentleman you are,' said Ginny in the same quiet voice.

We have to play this through to the end. You'll get better. I'm not sure Hermione will.

'You know,' he replied. 'Lillian Herrick is probably watching us all, laughing her head off.'

'No, you can't use her as an excuse,' replied Ginny. 'Everyone here is acting of their own free will. Including you and her. Don't go claiming that some invisible person is whispering in our ears, sowing discord. All of this is your doing. Don't you remember: our choices define us. The two of you chose to go behind our backs, to be cheats and liars. Hermione found a convenient way of ignoring my brother. I didn't understand why until now, but now I do.'

He hung his head, but couldn't speak.

You're right, Ginny, you're so right.

'Why did you ever come back?' she said, cutting him off in mid-sentence. 'Why didn't the two of you just run away together? That's obviously what you really wanted to do. Why come back to make fools of me and Ron? How did we ever deserve this?'

Harry looked around the room. A sensation of horror started to build, as the enormity of the situation became clear. He glanced back at Hermione, but her gaze seemed fixed on a distant point.

'Are you impressed now?' she cried out, as if to some unknown spectator. 'Is this enough of a mess for you?'

Finally she seemed to focus again. She looked out at the shocked faces before her.

'I just want to say good luck to everyone,' she said in a style more her own. 'I hope we all see each other again. Maybe we'll even get a chance to fight together against a common enemy. Happy Halloween.'

She turned to Ginny.

'Ginny, there's nothing I can say. Other than if I were in your place I'd be just as disgusted as you are by what I'd witnessed here tonight. I don't dare to ask you if there's any chance of you forgiving me some day. But it's one of the few tiny hopes that I'll be clinging to.'

Then she turned to Ron.

'You know, Harry and I are pretty bad actors. And bad actors are prone to exaggeration.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' said Ron.

'In the end you'll see.'

She glanced at Harry. She started to try and say something to him but no words came out.

Then she fled the glare of the room.