Izuku, Satou, Aoyama, Shouto, and Kaminari had finished purchasing smores ingredients for Class 1-A's cookout. Carrying their shopping bags, they headed for the mall exit.

A police officer stopped them at the door. "We've received reports of drug dealers targeting local high schoolers. Please open your bags for an inspection."

Izuku's eyebrows shot up. This sounded legally questionable. But Satou was already opening his bag. Oh, well, it wasn't as if they had anything to hide, so they might as well get this over with.

The police officer dug around in Satou's backpack, then pulled out a Ziplock bag containing a white powder inside. His tone shifted sharply from boredom to suspicion. "What's this?"

"Flour and sugar for my baking projects," Satou said, his cheerful tone suggesting that he'd yet to see the problem. Izuku started to sweat.

"Why are the so-called ingredients in unlabeled bags?" the officer demanded.

Satou said, "My grandmother sends me special high-quality ingredients from her bakery."

"Humph. I'll have to confiscate this for testing." Ignoring Satou's yelp, the officer moved to Aoyama's bag. He pulled out yet another Ziplock. "Ah-ha! And what's this powder?"

Aoyama said, "It's Pecorino Romano."

The officer's brow furrowed. "Is that a new slang word for cocaine?"

"It's a type of cheese. What sort of philistine has never heard of Pecorino Romano? Merde, be careful with that! It was made using the finest milk from sheep in the Lazio region."

While Aoyama argued with the officer, Izuku suddenly realized that his backpack contained a notebook where he'd been writing a self-insert father-son fanfiction where he got adopted by All Might. Sweat dripped down his forehead. He would die of embarrassment if anyone saw. As the officer turned for his bag next, Izuku nudged Shouto. "Please, distract him!"

Shouto stepped in front of the officer and held out his backpack. "My bag contains contraband. Please confiscate it."

That very much hadn't been what Izuku had intended, but it had been done. He took advantage of the delay to reach into his backpack and destroy his notebook. Using his quirk with a bit too much enthusiasm, he completely ground the pages to dust.

Meanwhile, the officer ruffled through Shouto's backpack. "I can't find anything suspicious in here."

"You're not looking hard enough," Shouto insisted.

"Can you give me a hint?"

Shouto crossed his arms. "It's your job to figure that out. No clues."

The officer said, "I'm sorry, but I can't arrest you if I don't find any contraband." He started to set down the bag.

Shouto looked panicked. "Wait! I have a bottle of coke!"

"Coke?" The officer pulled out a bottle of Coca-Cola. "Uh, this is just a regular soft drink."

"Well, why do they call it coke if it doesn't have cocaine in it?"

The officer looked harried. "I don't know."

Shouto stamped his foot down. "I demand that you drug test my drink! The world needs to know the dirty truth about Coca-Cola, which operates as a drug-smuggling front for the CIA!"

"Fine, fine, if you insist." The officer added Shouto's bag to the pile, then opened Izuku's backpack next. "Ah-ha! What's this suspicious white powder covering all your belongings?"

"Would you believe it's shredded paper?" Izuku asked weakly.

"Why would you shred paper so finely?"

"I plead the Fifth," Izuku said, hoping no one would point out that the American Fifth Amendment did not apply in Japan.

With a grunt, the officer added Izuku's bag to the stack to confiscate. He turned to Kaminari's backpack next, pulling out another clear plastic bag with a white powder. "What's this?"

"Drugs," Kaminari said.

Everyone stared at him.

Izuku had never been in jail before. It turned out to be unexpectedly boring. He sat on a metal bench next to his friends. An unfamiliar white-haired man slept on the bench across from them. The stranger had a scarf wrapped around his face. A few scars peeked out the top.

Aoyama rocked back and forth on the ground muttering, "My bag…they took my bag…if they read…" He looked like he might throw up. His eyes were bloodshot.

Satou burst into noisy tears. "How will I explain this to my parents? I'm sorry, Mom and Dad! I'm a criminal now!"

Izuku patted Satou on the shoulder. "It's okay. After the drug tests, they'll find out that you were only carrying baking ingredients."

Shouto asked, "Does Coca-Cola contain cocaine? I didn't think so at first, but by the end I was starting to convince myself."

"It doesn't," Izuku said. "I'm sorry I dragged you into this mess." He prayed none of his friends would ask what he'd been trying to hide.

"Don't be." Shouto grinned. "Just wait until my father finds out I got thrown in jail! He'll be so angry! Just imagining his face brings a tear of joy to my eye. Does anyone know where I can get a prison tattoo?"

Satou wept louder. "I'll never last long enough to be proven innocent! I'm too cute and weak for jail!"

Kaminari stood up and clapped his hands. "Everyone, calm down. I know how to survive in jail. I heard about it on TV. You find the scariest guy in the place, then shank him to prove your dominance."

Izuku pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you even know what it means to shank someone?"

"Give them a stern scolding?" Kaminari shrugged. "Watch me." He walked over to the white-haired man sleeping on the opposite bench and poked him. "Hey, you!"

The stranger stirred and cracked one eye open.

Kaminari leapt to the other end of the room and hid behind Izuku. "He has a very scary glare," Kaminari whispered. "On second thought, it's rude to bother someone when they're sleeping."

The white-haired man sat up. An amused gaze scanned the hero students. Kaminari whimpered. Even Satou stopped crying. Shouto stared off into the distance.

The stranger threw back his head and laughed. "What are a group of goodie two shoes heroes in here for? Especially my perfect masterpiece of a little bro—uh, I mean that kid with the facial scar."

Glumly, Izuku said, "I shredded my notebooks too well. Shouto was just an innocent causality of the rest of our stupidity. How about you?"

The white-haired man said, "I asked for directions to the aisle selling hair dye that can be washed out with water. The clerk laughed in my face, so naturally I had to rearrange his face."

Izuku blinked. "Washable hair dye doesn't exist."

"Of course it does!" the stranger claimed. "I've been wearing it for years just in case I had an opportunity to murder my father."

Before Izuku could ask about that, Aizawa strode down the hallway. "All of the test results have come back, and none of you were carrying drugs, so you're free to go. Honestly, are you all in a conspiracy with the problem child to turn my hair grey?"

Satou sniffled and blew his nose into his sleeve. "I won't have a criminal record?"

Aizawa's tone turned gentle. "No, and I even forced the police to issue an apology to you. Imagine not being able to tell sugar from cocaine!"

Kaminari placed a hand on his forehead and collapsed against the wall. "Jail changed me. I nearly shanked a guy. I don't know if I can survive on the outside now."

Aizawa groaned. "You were only in jail for an hour."

"Nonsense. It must have been at least a week," Kaminari insisted. "Maybe even a year!"

Aizawa rubbed his forehead and cast Kaminari a stern glance. "Why did you tell the police officer that your powdered Claritin was drugs?"

"Isn't Claritin a drug?" Kaminari asked, blinking like a deer standing in the path of a speeding truck.

"Why do you have it in powdered form to begin with?" Aizawa asked.

Kaminari said, "I'm scared to take tablets, but I have allergies."

Aizawa sighed. "I don't think jail suits you, kid. Let's go home."

Izuku nudged Shouto and pointed at the white-haired stranger. "Is it just me, or does that guy looks familiar?"

Shouto straightened. "Could he be your long-absentee father Hisashi Midoriya?"

Izuku shook his head. "No, he's way too young."

Shouto asked, "Three racoons stacked up in a trench coat?"

Izuku blinked. "I'm not sure how you came up with that."

Shouto shrugged. "Then I've got nothing."

Meanwhile, Dabi mentally added the store clerk to the list of people he would later tell Endeavor that he'd murdered, even though in reality he'd only gotten in one punch before the police took him away. Dabi had never actually killed anyone, but this wasn't for lack of trying. He was just very bad at murder.

OMAKE TIME!

Omake: Aizawa's Phone Call

Police Officer: I regret to inform you that five of your students have been arrested.

Aizawa: Don't tell me who, let me guess. Izuku Midoriya.

Police Officer: How did you know?

Aizawa: I just won five thousand yen from Vlad. Let's see if I can get it up to ten thousand yen. If Midoriya is in jail, then so is Todoroki.

Police Officer: Right again!

Aizawa: Then you must also have Tenya Iida and Ochaco Uraraka. Hmm, the last one is a little tricky. Maybe Tsuyu Asui?

Police Officer: No, the other three students are Denki Kaminari, Yuga Aoyama, and Rikido Satou.

Aizawa: Whoa, I did not see any of those coming. Kaminari could have got himself accidentally implicated. But Satou? I can't imagine him getting mixed up in this. He's not suited for jail. I'd better hurry over and save him. Who did Midoriya murder—uh, allegedly murder?

Police Officer: They were arrested for drug possession.

Aizawa: Nonsense! If Midoriya became involved in organized crime, then he'd go way bigger than that. I'll get my coat. I've been saving my salary for bail money ever since the problem child's first day in my class.

#

Omake: The Todorokis React

Fuyumi: My little brother would never, ever become involved with drugs. This is an outrage. I'm going to sue the police station for arresting him with no evidence.

Police Officer: We don't think he's guilty either. There weren't any drugs in his drink. We tried not to arrest him, but he clung to the police car bumper until we took him along.

Fuyumi: …

Later:

Fuyumi: Since you and your classmates were proven innocent, I was able to keep Father from finding out.

Shouto: Why would you do that? I wanted to see his reaction! Luckily I have a prison tattoo as proof.

Fuyumi: …

Shouto: Relax, Kaminari drew it on my arm with a sharpie.

#

Omake: Tomura Will Be So Disappointed that He Just Missed Eraserhead

Tomura: I'm here to pick you up.

Dabi: I don't know if I can survive on the outside. Jail changed me. A guy nearly shanked me.

Tomura: You were in jail for one day.

Dabi: It feels like years have passed since you ignored my phone call because you were in the middle of an online gaming event.

Tomura: You have five seconds to get over here before I spend your bail money on video games instead.

Dabi: Or we could set fire to this place, steal all the money, and buy video games and fried chicken.

Tomura: That sort of great thinking is why I keep you around.

#

Omake: Skip This If You Don't Want Spoilers for Manga Chapter 336

Police Officer: After further investigation, I found a secret pouch in the Aoyama kid's backpack. It has a series of coded messages.

Chief: Is this the same kid you arrested because you thought his shredded cheese was drugs?

Police Officer: Well, yes, but I think this could be important. I decoded the first couple lines and got "Help I'm being controlled by a supervillain."

Chief: The kid's parents are already threatening to sue us for wrongful arrest. We can't afford to anger them any further. It's probably just a game the kids are playing. Forget about it.