Of course the Assassin wasn't there the next morning. Huskar didn't know if she had stayed after he had fallen asleep. He thought about how she had touched him and how much she had to hurt and he felt a longing to be there for her, to help her and comfort her. It was stupid, she was such a strong creature, she would never need him but the fact that she came to see him every day spoke volumes. She wanted something she couldn't have.
Huskar hadn't taken the drug yet, but he didn't feel the slightest pain. Instead he thought about a way to help his mate. Until now he hadn't considered how it was for her. He had assumed that it was easy for her, that it was her choice and therefore she didn't suffer, but that wasn't true.
There was nothing he could do. At least nothing to change the situation per se. But the simple fact that she wanted to be near him seemed to be enough to make his heart realise that this was a shitty situation but that it wasn't hopeless. And that he wasn't alone with his pain.
His mind was still constantly occupied with her, but Huskar wasn't as desperate as before. It was as if she was only gone for the day and he knew she'd be back again. As if she had gone to work or something. He could handle that. And being not under the influence of the drugs made him extremely productive that day.
The second he felt the presence of the Phantom Assassin, he stopped what he was doing and stood. He closed his eyes. He needed his other senses, sight gained him nothing. He wasn't very confident about what he should do, he had to do something, though.
"Can I help somehow?" Huskar thought she was behind him, but he didn't turn. He didn't get an answer. "I... you can come here whenever you want." He hesitated, but then he just went with what was on his mind. "And if you want to touch, or if you want to sleep next to me, or whatever, I don't mind. If you want, I can cook for you, too, so you can eat with me. I can make you a separate bed if you'd prefer that. I don't know, you can just tell me." He stopped, not sure if he should continue or not. He was sure the Assassin hadn't moved, but she didn't respond.
With a sigh he went to continue with stapling fire wood. He had suspected that talking to her wouldn't work, still he was disappointed.
"How do you know I'm here?" There was no hint of emotion in her voice. It was expressionless as always. But Huskar was unbelievably relieved, to hear her, to get a reaction at last!
"I can feel you. At first I thought it was my imagination, but it never was. It was always you." He turned around, had to find out if she had stopped hiding now that she knew it was useless.
His breath caught. She stood there, in front of his house, confident as always. She looked the same as when he had last seen her, nothing changed. Huskar smiled. She was beautiful and deadly, slightly blurred to his vision. Everyone could see how deadly she was, it was in the way she held her body, always in control. His stomach did a somersault and his heart definitely missed a beat. He wanted so much to walk closer and hug her, he wondered how she stood it to watch him all the time and never touch. He'd have gone crazy by now. But except for an involuntary twitch of his hand, he didn't move.
Glad that she was here, he took her in. She was awesome. And she hid her pain so very well, he'd have never guessed she felt anything at all. Only her presence here showed that she in fact felt something.
She didn't move, didn't say anything, just stood there and watched him like he watched her. She'd never make the first step. Maybe she was too proud or she didn't want to break the rules from the Veiled Sisters. But if she hurt the same Huskar had, she'd not survive this. Not for how long their lives were. Huskar stepped forward. The Assassin kept watching him. He stopped when he was close enough to be able to touch her, if he reached out. She still didn't move. Nothing in her expression changed.
But she hadn't backed away, either. Huskar took a chance. He held her gaze and reached out with one hand. Slowly, he brushed the tips of his fingers against her cheek. She had seen what he was going to do and still she hadn't moved. She didn't react to his fingertips but when he cupped her cheek in his palm, the tiniest sigh escaped her. Her eyelids fluttered but she didn't close them. She still held his gaze.
Huskar's heart hammered in his chest. He was unbelievably nervous but the fact that she didn't shy away was enough to make him keep going. Not too much, not too fast, just a little bit more. He moved his hand along her cheek until his fingers touched the hair at her nape. He stroked over her cheek with his thumb, taking it all in. Her soft skin, how warm she was against the tips of his fingers, how he could feel her muscles, even when he was barely brushing against the part were neck met shoulder. Her eyes were not expressionless. There was a hunger, the desire for more, he was sure of it. But when he stepped closer, the Assassin shut off.
She was out of his reach before he could as much as blink. She looked at him for a moment longer, then she was gone.
Taking a deep breath, to calm down, Huskar shook his head. But it was enough, for now. A grin spread across his face. He had touched his mate. And she had let him. When they moved with this speed it would take forever for them to be together, but that didn't matter. They had time, if nothing else. At least now there was hope. Something that hadn't been there before.
Even when the Phantom Assassin didn't show up the next day Huskar was fine. He was sure there was a reason, some job or something, and that she'd come over again. He was right.
She didn't try to hide her presence, she simply appeared in his living room while he was sharpening his blade after he had been hunting.
Huskar grinned and pushed a second whetstone in her direction. "Hello there. You want to join me?"
When he got no immediate reaction, he simply shrugged and continued. After a few minutes, she sat across from him on the floor and took the stone. She had way more blades, two swords and two hands full of daggers, but this wasn't supposed to be to get a chore done. Not anymore at least. Now, with her sitting there, it was a way for them to spent time together, while she could become comfortable with him and everything. She was still too tense, though Huskar didn't know if it was because of him or because of this fucked-up situation.
Sharpening blades was a legit way to relax, no matter what the reason was. And for his heart and his soul and his longing to be near his mate, it was fine like that. Maybe, if he was lucky, she'd let him touch her again. Just a little, like the last time.
All this anger and pain and now he was completely content and satisfied just to have her here, in his house, sitting across from him. Not even talking, only being there. Maybe he had needed everything that had led to this because he wasn't sure he would've been satisfied with this at the beginning, when he had realized they were mates. Now that he knew how bad it could be, this was fucking amazing.
The Phantom Assassin switched from one blade to the other while Huskar stayed with his single one, which had already been sharp enough when the Assassin hat sat down across from him. But no way was he going to disturb this. And if nothing was left of the steel in his hands he still wouldn't care. Even he could see how she lingered longer on every one of her blades than she actually had to. Definitely playing for time.
When she stood up, Huskar rose as well. "I have to go." She didn't directly vanish, instead she stared at him, as if she was waiting for him to say or do something. This was crazy and really, Huskar didn't know what to say or do. It wouldn't change anything if he told her he didn't want her to leave. And if he hugged her it was maybe too much.
But then she stepped forward and reached out, stroking her fingers against his cheek, similar to the way he had touched her the last time. Huskar's breath caught. It was just the faintest brush against his skin but it was amazing, simply to have her this close and to initiate this. Finally, he thought. It had been worth it. Everything would be worth to have another moment like this.
Her eyes were pale, her skin flawless except for a trace of freckles and he was sure he saw emotions flickering across her features. He couldn't define them, but it was more than he had ever seen. It was because of him. He would've liked to touch her, to kiss her, to feel her, but he was afraid to do something wrong. He wanted desperately for her to come back, every day, he wouldn't survive if he destroyed this now because he couldn't control himself.
Another stroke, soft but sure, no hesitation or uncertainty in her touch. She always seemed to be so confident, while Huskar felt like a mess. He was paralyzed by the emotional battle between want and indecision.
Before he was able to come to a choice about what he wanted to do, she dropped her hand and stepped away from him. And then she was gone.
Huskar closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She had touched him. She had initiated it. Huskar grabbed his weapon and left the house. He felt light, happy. He was going on the hunt. Not to kill, but to run and chase, to give the energy that suddenly coursed through his body an outlet. He felt almost giddy. He! Unbelievable. But he didn't care. His mate had been there and she was so beautiful and strong. He admired her.
The following days were like that. The Phantom Assassin showed up during the day. She never said anything but she always joined Huskar in what he was doing. Even when he was reading a book she sat down on one of the cushions on the floor, took a book and did the same. It was soothing to have her behave this normal, as if there had never been a problem.
There was still a distance between them that Huskar was afraid to break. She always touched him before she left, longer and longer every day.
One day Huskar began to talk to her. He was preparing fruit to dry and he felt like talking. So he told her about how he had learned to dry fruit. He told her about his mother, who had taught him and his tribe, how they had had whole days for collecting fruit and preparing it. He talked and talked and when he looked up once, he found the Assassin sprawled on a cushion in his living room, visibly relaxed and the tiniest smile tugging at her lips.
He stilled and stared. His mind went completely blank and his stomach did crazy things. It was the most natural he had ever seen her and it did things with his heart that he would've never believed possible.
"I like your story. Keep going." The Phantom Assassin didn't change her position and even her smile stayed. Until he kept staring. Then her expression went blank as always and she straightened. "What?"
Huskar could've kicked himself. "You are beautiful." He cringed. That hadn't been what he had wanted to say at all. "I mean..." before he could think about what he had wanted to say, the Assassin relaxed again. She seemed to be a bit wary, but at least she took her former almost lying position on the cushion.
"Thank you." She sounded as if she was a little perplexed by his words.
Fascinated and glad he hadn't fucked this up, Huskar returned to the fruit. He tried to find the point where he had stopped talking, couldn't remember and began with another story. The Assassin stayed much longer than the last times and whenever he snuck a peek at her, which he did so often that he needed unbelievably long to finish his task, she always smiled a little bit.
Suddenly she stood next to him. "I have to go. Thank you for today." She brushed her palm over his cheek to his nape, her fingers in his hair. Then she stepped closer and hugged him. She wasn't much smaller, fitting nicely against him. She was firm and it wasn't a soft hug. But damn it felt nice. Then she was gone.
Huskar stared at the spot where she had just been standing, then at the cushion she had been sitting on before.
Fascinating.
From then on it got better. They had this routine and Huskar really enjoyed it. The Phantom Assassin asked him to tell her more about his live and his tribe. So he talked and talked. He wondered if she didn't find it boring, but whenever he looked at her from whatever he was doing, she always seemed to listen intently to what he was telling her. She smiled this tiny hint of a smile often and it made Huskar's heart lighter.
At night he sometimes wondered what they were doing and where this was going, but he was afraid to ask her and so he tried to take every day as it came without worrying about the future. She was there and he was just glad about it.
It was bound to go wrong one day. And it did.