"I thought about what you said." Huskar had felt when Mortred had arrived but he hadn't expected her to start talking immediately.
"What? What did I say?" It wasn't that he had said nothing, it was more that he said so much.
"That you love me."
Just like that, he was tense all over. A conversation that started like this couldn't be a good one. He had known that it was too soon. Fucking shit. Huskar tried to ready himself for whatever was about to come but he wasn't sure it worked.
She didn't look at him, which made him only more nervous. He was prepared for the worst.
"I do, too."
Huskar blinked, not really trusting his ears. "What?" He stared at her, wanting to be relieved but he couldn't yet believe it. It was one of these things that fell under the category: too good to be true.
Now she lifted her head. Determined set to her jaw. "I do, too."
That was something he really hadn't expected. She had given him her name and now that. She hadn't used the words, but she at least said she felt the same way. It was amazing. He had to touch her, to frame her face with his hands and kiss her. She was here, his mate, and she said she loved him. Fuck, this was amazing. The first hint of relief that he had felt when she had said it the first time was swamped by joy. And by love. And then by need.
She met him half way as he reached for her. There was nothing tender about their touch today. It was a little frantic, maybe laced with desperation. Not that Huskar hadn't felt desperate whenever he had touched her, but it was the first time that it was mirrored back from Mortred. She ran her hands over his body as if she couldn't get enough. She pressed as close as it could ever be possible. And the way she kissed him. As if this was their last time together, as if she wanted to take everything she could. As if this, as if he was the most important thing for her in the world right now.
Considering that she was the most important thing for him, he could only hope that she felt the same. Huskar was still a little afraid to rush this, but with every kiss and every touch from the Assassin he lost more of his ability to think straight. She was all around him, her touch, her smell, how she felt under his hands and he couldn't stop. He broke from the kiss only to rub his cheek against her neck and take a deep breath. He took her scent in, wanted to have it branded into his mind.
Impatiently she pulled at his hair to have his mouth back against hers. Huskar growled, but in approval. He liked that she showed what she wanted, and he liked that she wasn't careful with it. She didn't have to be, whatever she might do, he'd be absolutely able to stand it. And he might even like it a little rough and bossy.
Mortred definitely knew what she wanted today. Because a moment later, her shoulder armour and cape dropped to the floor. She had stopped wearing a helmet in his home a long time ago, almost from the beginning. Huskar had seen it as a sign of trust, but she had never discarded any of her other armour.
It was followed by her bracers and her belt, including her throwing knifes. Mortred took a step back. She was breathing heavily, but the determination hadn't left her features. It was laced with something more, though, and Huskar was desperate to keep touching and kissing her. But she set the pace, as always, and she had stopped. He stood there and stared at her, less clothed than she had ever been around here. He hoped the fuck that she'd keep going.
Her eyes roamed over his body. Huskar, as always, only wore his leathern loincloth and his bracers. He put anything else on, which wasn't much more, when he left his home. She had seen him thousands of times like this, but the way she kept looking now, it could as well have been the first time.
"You are gorgeous."
Huskar blinked at the unexpected words. Then he grinned and shifted slightly, so his muscles would flex.
Mortred's gaze snapped to his face. Her smile, even if it was only very small, took Huskar's breath away and he moved forward to cup her face with his hands. "So beautiful", he murmured before he kissed her.
From there he couldn't hold back any longer. He fumbled with the fastenings of her armour and with her help was able to get it off. She was all lean muscles underneath his hands, soft skin but all hard body. Her breasts were fixed with some stripes of cloth, which came off rather easily. He wanted to look, he burned to look, but he wouldn't stop kissing her for anything in the world today. He could touch though, even if he was still surprised that she let him, that she was half naked, that she was here and kissing him and that she had said she loved him. It was so much, almost too much, and he was drowning in emotions.
Combined with his growing arousal he felt as if he was on fire.
He would have never thought that this might one day happen and he was a little overwhelmed by it. At least Mortred seemed to be sure. Her movements as she pulled her boots off as well as her pants, without ever stopping kissing him were precise. As always. Then she removed Huskar's loin cloth with a swift motion that was too fast for him to register. One moment he had it on, the next it was gone.
Both naked, the Assassin pressed against him, as close as possible, their whole bodies touching. She wasn't small but compared to the troll she was only a wisp of a thing. But she was so strong, so fast and so deadly, dangerous even next to him. A shudder raced down Huskar's spine. Fuck, he loved her, everything about her.
Then she touched him, wrapped her hand around him, without hesitation, without a doubt about what she wanted. The troll growled deep in his throat, his chest vibrating with it.
Mortred sighed. A tiny sound against his growl, but he heard it and felt it, her body relaxing, melting against his. She'd drive him crazy, just like that. He grabbed her, lifted her up, all the while continuing to kiss her. He nibbled at her lower lip with his sharp teeth, careful not to bite too hard. He wouldn't want to draw blood and her skin was easily pierced.
He carried her to his bed and laid down together with her. He was on top but with a swift turn, Mortred had him on his back, straddling him. She wanted to be in charge and with her hand on his cock and her other hand now tightly gripping his hair he didn't mind one bit. He'd gladly surrender to her will as long as it included her touching him. And kissing him. Fuck, he didn't want her to stop that.
Which posed a tiny problem because he wanted to do so much more. He wanted to look at her naked body, wanted to see all of her, and he wanted to taste her. He wanted to see how she reacted to his mouth on her skin, on her breasts and between her legs. He wanted to lick and suck but he'd have to do all of that another time. Because right now he'd enjoy her mouth on his. He could touch her, which he did. He spread his fingers over her firm arse. The perfect shape. Everything about her was perfect.
"Sorry." Mortred sounded already breathless though they had only been kissing until now. But since Huskar felt slightly light-headed himself he couldn't blame her. "I really want to savour sex with you, but right now I just want to fuck. We'll do a second round and take our time, then. All right?" Her eyes were so bright and he could see how much she wanted him. He could only nod. He didn't mind at all, not when she said she wanted to fuck him. And said they'd do another round of it.
Her mouth was instantly back on his and she bit him hard in his lower lip. Her grip in his hair tightened and she lowered herself onto him. Warm and wet and Huskar couldn't breathe, he gasped, and growled and wanted to move but the Assassin did something to hold him in place and he could only take what she gave.
She didn't take her time, just as she had said. As soon as he was fully inside of her, she shuddered with a sigh. Then she began to fuck him. There was no other word for it, the way she held him in place, her nails biting into his skin, as she moved on him fast and hard. She kept kissing him, seemingly desperate for it. Or at least , when it became too much, had her lips pressed close to his, the two of them sharing their breath, rapid and harsh.
Huskar's head swam and he had to concentrate, not wanting to come right away. Mortred panted and sighed and he was sure she was close as well. Too much pent up sexual energy, this wouldn't take long. But that was fine, it was amazing still, to have her this close, to feel her muscles flexing under his fingers, to have her being in control like this. To have her. They could take their time when they were not this desperate anymore.
"Come." The word held so much command that Huskar's mind didn't even begin to question it until it was too late. His body reacted to it immediately. He came with a harsh groan, but so did his mate.
Mortred shuddered as she lay on top of him, her grip finally loosening, the hand in his hair as well as the one that had been digging into his shoulder. Hard. "I'm sorry." She shuddered again and then sighed. "Next time I won't rush us like that."
With a little laugh Huskar slung his arms around her body and held her close. She had her head rested somewhere between his neck and shoulder and he wasn't sure if this was actually comfortable for her. But she didn't budge one bit and appeared to be absolutely boneless. "I don't mind. It was good." He was a tiny bit surprised about the way his body had reacted to her command, but he decided he didn't really care. He didn't mind giving up control if it was for her. And even less if it brought him such pleasure. He grinned, like a fool. His mate, in his arms. Amazing.
The troll rubbed his head against her hair and sniffed at it. The underlying scent was the same as always, but for the first time it was laced with the smell of sex. Of sex they'd had together. His grin widened.
A small hand slapped his chest. "Stop being so smug."
"I am not smug. I'm happy." He pressed her closer, making her huff as he pressed the air out of her lungs.
Suddenly Mortred tensed. It was in sharp contrast to how relaxed she had been only a second before. Huskar was afraid he had done something wrong and loosened his hold on her. His grin was gone in an instant.
"I'm sorry." The Assassin levelled herself up on her hands and looked down at him. "I have to go." She hesitated, then kissed him softly, lingering for a long moment.
She was swift as she freshened herself up and put her clothes and armour back on. Huskar helped nonetheless. When she was finished, nothing hinted at what they had done. She was the perfect assassin again, clothes neat, weapons ready and an unreadable expression on her face. But before she left, she stepped closer to him. Her features softened, just a tiny bit.
She kissed him. "I love you," Hurskar murmured at her lips. Mortred sighed. It sounded like a happy sigh and really, when she moved back, she was smiling a little bit. She stared into his eyes. The next moment she was gone.
The Sacred Warrior stood there, in the middle of the room, all alone. But for the first time in what felt like forever he was content. He turned and when he saw the bed he grinned. He was still naked but he had a few things to do in and around the house so he put at least his loincloth back on.
Fuck, he was happy. He wasn't the least annoyed that Mortred had had to leave. This was her job and everyone could see that it was in her blood to do this. So he didn't mind. As long as she'd come back to him he didn't mind. And that was something she had proven over and over, even when he had still thought he imagined her presence. She had always been with him.
The next week was fun. As soon as Mortred was around, they touched and kissed. They didn't fuck all the time, though they did so often, but they also did what they had before. They read or cleaned weapons and armour or Huskar cooked. They hunted together and even went to the occasional town war together. Because Huskar loved to watch his mate fight. It was amazing, as if they were truly in a relationship. The Assassin had to leave now and then for her jobs, but she always came back. The only thing that bothered Huskar was, that she still left for the night.
"Because someone will notice when I'm absent during the night while not having an assignment."
Huskar understood it, but he didn't like it one bit. Not only because she wasn't there during the night, but also because it meant that what they were doing was a secret. And secrets had a way of getting out. Always. Especially considering how long they'd live and how much time there was for a secret to get out. And because she was a Veiled Sister, maybe the best of the assassins, but they were all very good and one of her sisters would eventually get suspicious.
He didn't say anything because it wasn't his place to interfere with her work and he was still so happy to have her that he didn't want to fuck everything up. It did loom over them (at least to him it felt like that) like a shadow all the time. Not when Mortred was around, he was fixated on her then, couldn't think about anything else. Sometimes it was as if he was in a tunnel, he could only see her. He wondered if it was the same for her but didn't dare ask.
Except for his one (or maybe two) slip where he had told her that he loved her he hadn't spoken about feelings at all. Not that he didn't want to but he was glad that she talked to him at all. He didn't want to dump all his emotions onto her. And maybe scare her away with it. This was all too knew and in his opinion still too fragile to chance anything.
Talking about feelings wasn't a topic the troll usually indulged in but with his soulmate he found he wanted to. He wanted to tell her how he felt and he wanted to fucking know about her feelings. He was sure it would simply take a little time and patience. Something he'd had to learn since he had met the Assassin for the first time. He could dig out a little more patience and postpone all the emotional stuff until he felt safer in this relationship and until Mortred had relaxed around him.
It was fine for some time, Mortred leaving for her jobs now and then and for the nights, but except for these times she was always with Huskar. The troll was happy though he was still tense. It seemed to be unsettled what they had, and he was holding back. Sometimes when he looked at her, he wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, how much he loved her, that he wanted to live together with her, to never be apart from her, to have eternity with her. To have a house and a garden and kids and everything. To fall asleep by her side and wake up with her cuddled close. Or him cuddled close, whatever. To learn all about her, the good and the bad, to hear about her life before him, to tell her about his life before her.
He did nothing of it. Well, he did talk about his life, but he always made sure to tell casual stories, nothing that was too personal. He was simply too afraid.
One of them would have to make the first step and it probably had to be Huskar, given how Mortred didn't talk about anything at all. That in itself wasn't bad, Huskar didn't mind. But he was so fucking scared of losing her because he did something dumb. Aside from the fact that she was with him all the time he didn't know how she felt about him, about them. She had said she loved him, not saying the actual words, but she had said it. Considering how little she talked about feelings (never), this had probably been a very huge thing for her, but still he could only assume so.
"Are you all right?" Huskar snapped out of his thoughts at the question from the Assassin. She was lounging, and she really was, there was no better expression for it, on the cushion in the living room. It had become her favourite place. "You seem to be sad." She frowned as she asked him, and Huskar was dumbfounded, that she sensed that something was off and that she brought it up and asked him about it.
This was the moment, he could tell her about his feelings because she had started this conversation, he wouldn't even dump it on her unasked. Still he hesitated. He didn't want to chase her away with it, so he'd take all these feelings and lock them up inside of him, to not let them slip out. He didn't have to talk about feelings.
He shook his head and smiled. "I'm just a bit tired."
For a moment he thought she'd call him a liar and push on. The tiny frown between her brows deepened, but then she continued to read her book. She was more tense than usual, though, and Huskar felt bad about not telling her what was bothering him. He was still too afraid, though.
The remaining day together was strange. Huskar tried to be as normal as possible but Mortred didn't relax completely. The next day it was gone, their interaction as usual.