Disclaimer: I do not own any of the people or places that belong to the wonderful world of Harry Potter, as they belong to J.K. Rowling. The OC is entirely my own.
Chapter 4: Edenbeam
October came to an end with Severus in a grumpy mood. He hated Halloween...period. Children hyped under on excessive amounts of sweets, running amuck throughout the castle. Students being caught with alcohol in the dorms, and magical pranks and booby traps were scattered throughout the halls and staircases.
Severus sat glaring at every student in the Great Hall as the Halloween feast took place. The staff chatted happily around himself; passing carrot cakes and other various rich desserts amongst them. For a moment, he glanced upwards, watching the live bats dance around the illuminated jack-o-lanterns that floated high about their heads. The sky of the hall was bright and clear, with a full moon and millions of twinkling stars dotting the heavens above.
His attention suddenly snapped back to the Slytherin table, as laughter rang out through the hall. HIs dark eyes frantically sought to find the little muggleborn amongst the group, and Severus sighed with relief when his orbs rested on her in her usual spot.
Undistrubed.
Her nose in a book like always.
She was the only reason he dined in the hall for every meal. After several points being taken during this month, for the excessive use of the word 'Mudblood,' Severus began to feel the slight need to protect the little dark haired girl, who had found herself in such a dismal situation.
Personally, Severus couldn't wait to retreat back to his quarters and drown himself in a bottle of Odgen's. He just thanked Merlin that tomorrow was Sunday, and he could hole himself away all day from the rest of the world.
Or so he thought...
"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off..."
"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"
"Stand aside you silly girl...stand aside now."
"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead..."
"Avada Kedava!"
Sevuers woke with a start; his head pounded and his mouth was dry. He looked around groggily, trying to figure out what had actually woke him from his alcohol induced sleep. Finally his blurry eyes settled on the fireplace, that was burning brightly green, and where Dumbledore's face shone through.
"Severus," the Headmaster's voice rang out. "I need you in my office. It is quite urgent." It was all he said, before disappearing from the flame. Severus didn't need to be told twice; he quickly summoned a hang-over relief potion to him and downed it. Within seconds, his head was cleared and he bolted from his chair; kicking an empty bottle of Firewhiskey as he went.
"Headmaster's Office," he shouted, as he threw down the silvery floo powder into the hearth and stepped into it. With a whirl, his quarters disappeared and the Albus' office appeared before him.
As his eyes refocused, Severus took in the sight of a grave looking Dumbledore, sitting behind his desk and staring at two objects in front of him.
"You wished to see me Headmaster," Severus said, slowly walking towards the aging wizard.
"Yes, Severus," Albus whispered, gesturing to the winged-back chair in front of his desk. "Please, have a seat."
Gracefully, Severus sat, and the two wizards lapsed into silence. A clock on the wall chimed two, and Severus' obsidian slowly drifted from the Headmaster's face to the desktop.
Two wands laid between them...
The first was a mahogany wand, appearing about eleven inches in length. It was decorated with a simple cobweb design that extended down the length of the wand all the way to the base.
But the other, made Severus' heart stop.
The second wand was willow, and ten and three-quarters in length. It was delicately carved with tiny flowers and vines. A wand made for charms...
A wand that chose a witch...
A wand that chose Lily...
"Headmaster?"
"I'm sorry Severus," Albus murmured, as he rose from his chair and made his way around to stand in front of the black clad wizard. "I'm truly sorry."
It was all Severus needed to hear; his body slumped forward in the chair and a hoarse sob left his throat. His body wracked with silent sobs for a moment, before raising his face towards his employer. A face that now looked as though he had already lived a hundred years of misery since the faithful night he pleaded for Dumbledore's help.
"I thought...you were going...to keep her...safe," Severus said; his breath hitched as he tried to control his emotions.
"She and James put their faith in the wrong person," Albus replied, still looking grim. "Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?"
Severus' breathing became shallow; his long potion-stained fingers clawed at the leggings of his black trousers. And the tears that had been welling up in his eyes, finally spilled from their confinements.
"Lord Voldemort is no more," Albus continued, causing only a tiny flinch from Severus' head. "He was defeated and destroyed tonight by the child And amazingly, her boy survives."
"Her son lives, Severus. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes," Albus rattled on, causing Severus' to clench his jaw. "You remember the shape and color of Lily Evan's eyes, I am sure?"
"DON'T!" the grieving wizard bellowed. "Gone...dead..."
"Is this remorse, Severus?" Albus asked with a raised brow.
"I wish...I wish I were dead..."
"And what use would that be to anyone?" Albus said, rather coldly. The harshness of his voice made Severus glance up at him; his eyes red, his face tear-streaked and his thin lips parted slightly.
"If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear," the Headmaster stated. The two went silent once more as Severus processed his words.
"What...what do you mean?"
"You know how and why she died," Albus said, watching the younger wizard intently. "Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son..."
"He doesn't need protection," Severus cried out. "The Dark Lord has gone..."
"The Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does." There was a long pause, and very slowly Severus regained control of himself. His breathing evened out and he harshly wiped his tears away with the sleeve of his robes.
"Very well," the young wizard whispered. "Very well. But never...never tell, Dumbledore. This must be between us. Swear it! I cannot bear...especially Potter's son...I want your word!"
"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?" Albus sighed, as his eyes swept over the young man. Severus' face with full of wild anguish; his jaw clenched once again and he was breathing harshly through his long hooked nose. "If you insist..."
"I suggest you rest for today Severus," Albus said, as he moved to reclaim his seat behind the desk. "For there are still students to teach...classes to maintain...and a life to move forward in."
Monday morning rolled around for too soon for Severus' liking. In the twenty-four hours since his beloved Lily's death, many events had occurred. He had heard from McGonagall that Sirius Black had been arrested for not only the murder of the Potters, but Peter Pettigrew and twelve Muggles as well. He was quickly sentenced to Azkaban without a trail even being held. Not that that mattered much to Severus.
Lily's son had been shipped off to live with Petunia and her big, beef of a husband Vernon Dursley in Little Surrey.
But the biggest thing of all...was that the Dark Lord was gone. Not for good, Severus remembered; but for now.
Absentmindedly, Severus rubbed his left forearm where the Dark Mark was etched into his skin. It had faded greatly in the past day since Voldemort had been destroyed, but it was still there all the same.
The war was over, and it seemed as though all walks of life had celebrate this joyous event.
All except Severus.
Lily was gone from this world...and Severus wished he had gone with her.
Severus stalked to his classroom door at exactly quarter to nine, and threw it open with tremendous force. The heavy, wooden door struck the stone wall with a deafening crack, causing the students, who had been standing in the corridor, to jump.
"Inside now," Severus hissed, as the Gryffindor-Slytherin group shuffled past him quietly and into the lab. He stalked back up to the podium; his black robes billowing menacingly behind him.
"Today, you will be brewing 'The Draught of Peace,' Severus said; his eyes glaring out coldly at the students before him. "The instruction are on the board...and I suggest you begin immediately, or you will find yourself in detention with me...disemboweling a barrel of horned toads."
Severus didn't even attempt to sit behind his desk during this class; instead he opted to haunt the aisles between the workbenches, barking out insults and deducting points left and right. Gerald Allington managed to land a detention with the surly professor, after adding the wrong amount of powdered moonstone to his cauldron.
By the end of class, both the Gryffindor and Slytherin hourglasses had loss a great amount of gems. The students silently handed in their dismal potions and quickly fled the room...all except for one.
Severus hadn't realized it, but a pair of green eyes had watched him the entire hour of class.
Eva Harrison had been stealing glances at him whenever she could. She could not put her finger on it, but in her head, she knew the her professor was not his normal self today. His dark eyes were not as cold as they normally were; to her, his eyes almost seemed to be...dare she say, grieving. She could feel the tension in the air as he billowed by her during the lab hour, but she was silently relieved that the students had remained silent. It was the first day, of many few, that she had not been picked on.
She knew that something was truly bothering Severus Snape, and as the last student left the room, she mustered up the courage to talk to her Head of House.
Severus sat stiffly behind his desk, marking papers with great force and a scowl on his face. But he had to hide his surprise, when the scrapping of a desk chair nearly made him jump out of his skin. His black eyes flew upwards quickly to find Ms. Harrison still in the room.
He had thought all the students had gone, but apparently he was wrong.
"What are you still doing here, Ms. Harrison?" Severus snarled lightly, as his eyes focused back on the work before him.
"Professor?" Eva's voice was soft-spoken; her Manchester accent, much like his, coming through strong with every syllable. "May I ask you something?"
"What is it Ms. Harrison? I am quite busy," Severus sneered.
"I...I was just wondering if you are all, sir?"
Severus paused in his writing to glance up at his student. In the two months he had been here, he saw her full face for the first time. Her green eyes watched him, full of worry and concern. They stared into his own, as though she knew Legilimency and was trying to tear down his carefully built walls. It unnerved him somehow; no one cared about his being...except possibly Dumbledore, but even those feelings seemed mixed.
No...this little muggleborn didn't truly know him; if she did she wouldn't give two shits about him. She didn't know of the horrors he saw...the crimes he had committed under the Dark Lords reign. The poisons he developed...the prophecy that he told.
The prophecy that killed his only love.
No, if she had known him, she would flee like everyone else did.
"I am fine Ms. Harrison," Severus replied after the long pause.
"But sir..."
"Ms. Harrison, I suggest you move along before you are late for your Ancient Runes class," Severus said sternly. "I will not vouch for your tardiness if you are."
"Yes sir," she replied quietly. She shifted her backpack on her shoulder and silently headed for the door. But she paused once more before leaving. "Whatever the matter is sir...I'm sorry."
Severus felt as though the air had been knocked from his lungs, as he watched the slip of a girl disappear into the corridor.
No...she didn't know...
How could she...
a/n: Well...apparently my writing bug is back...two chapters on this story and one on 'Forever Yours,' all within a week of each other. Hopefully I can keep the creative juices flowing :)
The conversation between Dumbledore and Severus is taken from the Deathly Hallows' "The Prince's Tale," Rowling did so wonderful on that, I just didn't have the heart to change it too much.
The title of the chapter, 'Edenbeam,' comes straight from the song 'Eva' by Nightwish. While there is some controversy on to what is the actually meaning of the word, I took the suggestion of a source for the use of the chapter title. The first 'Edenbeam' suggestion states that the Edenbeam is a blessed ray of light or of hope that one is trying to escape to (hence Severus' wish to be dead in order to be with Lily again. He believes that death is his only means of happiness or escape, but with a single concern from Eva, he has possibly found a new ray of hope - 'Edenbeam.').
A big thank you to victoria cullen33, pennypotter128 and AccioSS (times 2) for their wonderful reviews!
Happy Reading :)