Hello!

I am sorry for the delay. I didn't mean to take so long to get this out, but i hope you like it.

Let me know what you think!

Be warned there is flashback. It will be book-ended by _(O(O)O)_ and this chapter does get a little hot. No, there is no outright smut in this, but there are some hot parts. LOL

Chapter 11:

Obliterated

It was something else to see the panic and disbelief in Carol Marcus' face, as her father morphed into a stranger right in front of her. Jim didn't think he could truly understand. Chris Pike was the first true father figure Jim had, so the word, Father, was foreign to him; however, if Pike ever turned on him, he was sure he would be just as broken and destroyed as Carol was. He would be just as devastated. Pike was everything to Jim, and though the Admiral threw a few scowls at Jim, he always had Jim's back, fighting to the death for his 'son'. Shit, if anyone looked at him funny, Pike would go all papa bear on their ass. Jim would tease him about it, but there was no denying the warmth that bloom deep in Jim's chest while Pike went red. God, Jim loved that man, which was probably all of this hurt to much.

Carol's screams snapped Jim back to reality, and left Jim in utter disbelieve as he could only watch. "Dr. Marcus," he yelled, his hand outreached forward her as waiting for to reach out. Her hands to her face, Carol Marcus ran off the bridge (not that she got far) in attempt to escape, but she could only get a few feet pass Spock before disappearing in a swirl of light. The pure tragic expression of betrayal on her face was heartbreaking and struck something deep in his stomach, and her loud shriek would haunt Jim for the foreseeable future. A father should never do that to their daughter.

"Captain Kirk," Admiral Marcus called, drawing Jim's attention. His cold voice dripped with malicious intent. "Without authorization and in league with the fugitive John Harrison, your lover, you went rogue in enemy territory, leaving me no choice but to hunt you down and destroy you."

A few heads turned on that one, staring at Jim, and Jim could feel Uhura's laser eyes drilling into his back. Sulu was keeping an impossible still pose, and Spock was forever frozen at Jim side, providing a heavy presence at his shoulder. "Sir," he stated loudly and firmly. Every single eye on the bridge was on him, judging and staring. His heart hammered against his chest, making him light headed, but he was the Captain and he had a job to do, even if his crew no longer trusted him.

Marcus leaned back in his chair, a nasty grin on his ugly mug. "You forced your way onto the Enterprise under false pretenses to assist your boyfriend, your lover, Kirk." He sneered. "Just admit it. It would go a long way."

Jim refused to bow to this man. He would deal with the rumors later, knowing how fast rumors spread on a Starship first hand. Not now, Kirk. He yelled at himself as old memories were popping up. "Admiral Marcus," he sneered through his teeth, as he tried to keep himself as still as possible. "With due—"

"Lock phasers."

A light had been switched in Jim's head. All the fight that he had disappeared like it was never there. A cold harsh wave washed over him, and he went weak at the knees. His crew was going to be killed because of him. "Wait, sir." He jumped to his feet. "Wait, wait, wait!" he yelled, running up to the viewing screen.

With a deep sigh, Marcus gave him an inquisitive look. "Wait for what, Kirk? Hmm," he hummed. "There is nothing to discuss. You're a traitor. I can't help but wonder what Khan has said to you to show your back to him. Hmm."

The word Traitor echoed loudly in Jim's head, bouncing around like a large brick. Someone was taking a hammer to his head, and he was losing it. "Sir!" Why in the hell was he still calling this asshole Sir?

"I'll make this quick. Target all the torpedoes on the Enterprise bridge." Marcus ordered with a wicked grin.

There were 437 crew members on this ship, and every one of their faces danced across Jim's eyes. It didn't matter that he didn't know their names or faces they were in Jim's head, pulling at his heart. "Sir, my crew was just…" He paused, taking a deep breath. "…w-was just following my orders. I take full responsibility for my actions and theirs. They were mine and mine alone. If I transmit Khan's location to you now, all that I ask is that you spare them. Please, sir. I'll do anything you want. Just let them live." Jim begged, his breaths heavy in his chest. The entire bridge crew could hear Jim's heart breaking.

"That's a hell of an apology. But if it's any consolation, I was never going to spare your crew."

"And I played right into your hands," Jim uttered, his anger and bitterness boiling through. The old Jim would've cursed this fucker out, but he wasn't going to let Marcus hear him sweat.

Marcus smiled. "Don't worry. I'll help Admiral Pike with your betrayal and death." He turned, speaking to someone off screen. "Fire-" The feed cut off as Marcus terminated the call.

Just like that, the floor dropped out beneath Jim, and he was drowning. With a shaky voice, he turned to the bridge crew. His expression betraying everything he was feeling. "I'm Sorry." He spoke, his striking blue eyes meeting Spock's. Unlike the rest of the bridge, Spock's eyes felt safe, and shit, Jim wanted that. It was-

When Sulu interrupted and told him the Vengeance's weapons were powering down, Jim let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding and snatched him away from any warm feeling he was having toward Spock. (Which was a blessing. He so did not need go down that lane) Also, he realized he loved Scotty. Like Love love. That man was getting his first-born child—not that he had any children to give, but that was beside the point. Scotty was getting a Kirk kid! Or whatever that man wanted. Granted that cheer was short live when Spock spoke, "Our options are limited, Captain. We cannot fire and we cannot flee." Damn that Vulcan raining on his relief.

Jim gleamed around the bridge, noticing a few worried glances aimed toward him. His thoughts tried to wander, pondering what his temporary crew must be thinking (There was no taking back the bomb Marcus dropped), but he shoved those thoughts deep down. He was a Captain and he had a job to do. "There is one option. Uhura, when you get Scotty back, patch him through." He ordered.

Uhura's eyes lingered on him for a few second before replying. "Yes, sir."

"Mister Spock, you have the conn." Jim announced as he blocked everything out and headed to the door.

"Captain," Saavik called, her eyes following Jim.

Jim shot her a look—silently communicating with his eyes- before disappearing into the lift. He knew what she was thinking, having worked with a Vulcan for so long. A disapproval in her eyes. However, unlike another Vulcan that he knew, she listened. Now, if Jim thought he was going to escape without a fight, he was wrong, "Captain, I strongly object." Spock protested as he followed.

A harsh sigh escaped his lips. "To what? I haven't said anything yet." Jim replied hastily, side stepping to put some distance between the two in the lift. He sided glance Spock, attempting to get anything off the stoic Vulcan.

"Since we cannot take the ship from the outside, the only way we can take it is from within. And as a large boarding party would be detected, it is optimal for you to take as few members of the crew as possible." Spock answered, sternly and firmly.

There was something else in his voice that Jim couldn't quite place. However, now was not the time or place. He had a duty to do. As soon as the lift opened, Jim bolted. He wasn't exactly running, but he wasn't walking ether. However, no amount of speed was going to get the upper hand on Spock.

The Vulcan was at Jim's side in a matter of seconds. "You will meet resistance, requiring personnel with advanced combat abilities and innate knowledge of that ship. This indicates that you plan to align with Khan, the very man we were sent here to destroy. Khan, who…" Spock drifted off.

Jim stopped abruptly. "Don't." He hissed, his voice dropping several levels. "You don't get to go there." He was getting a lecture from his ex about his ex.

Spock's neutral, guarded expression dropped for a second. "This is not judgement on you, Jim." He stated, his voice soft and gentle. Something most would think impossible from a Vulcan. "My concern is on Khan. There is no telling how Khan will react now that he has been captured. Especially by you. He may try to-"

"No." Jim protested strongly. Everything rushed at Jim, and a strange, overwhelming pressure built in his chest. "I'm not aligning with him, I'm using him. The enemy of my enemy is my friend," He replied, hastily. He turned from Spock, his eyes forward. The crispness of the white hallways brought forth memories, some joyous and some nightmares. This could be the very last time he got to admire the crispness of these walls. This could be it for him. His career could be over, but it was okay if his crew, temporary or not, made it.

"An Arabic proverb attributed to a prince who was betrayed and decapitated by his own subjects." Spock replied, his eyes studying the tenseness in Jim's shoulder.

Jim let out a strained chuckle. If he didn't laugh, he would cry. "Of course, you would know that." This was one of the things he loved about Spock. One of the things he missed. Fuck. Sure, Saavik could provide wonderful tidbits like this, but she never provided them in the same way as Spock. She didn't interject them into normal conversion like Spock, who acted like he didn't understand. Spock, with his cheeky Vulcan smile, would deny it all, but he knew.

Spock eyed the forced laugh. "Captain." He spoke.

Shaking his head, Jim calmed himself and continued on his way to the med bay. He had no interest in seeing Khan, especially with his new found knowledge in his head: Khan used him. His body was used once more for someone's sick fun. Oh, wasn't that amazing? There was still a question as to why. Was this all Khan's doing? Or god, was it Marcus? But why would Marcus sent Khan to seduce him? Wait, was this Marcus' plan the entire time?

"l will go with you, Captain." Spock answered, tailing after Jim.

Jim stopped once more, rounding on Spock. "NO." he said with more force than needed. "I don't need you playing my protective, jealous Ex."

Spock stood his ground. "Your conclusion is wrong. This has nothing to do with our previous relationship." Vulcan stated, staring down at Jim. His eyes were sharp and determined. "I am your First Officer. This is my duty."

Why in the hell did he want Spock to say yes? Jim forced himself to take a deep breath. "I need you on the bridge." He replied, turning and walking away for yet another time.

Spock hesitated a second before trailing after Jim once. He reached forward and grabbed Jim's shoulder, stopping him. "I cannot allow you to do this." He stated, strongly. His soft and mono tones gone. "Regardless of my tenure as your First Officer, it is my function aboard this ship to advise you on making the wisest decisions possible, something I firmly believe you are incapable of doing in this moment."

Jim eyed Spock's hand, feeling the warmth rolling off it, and suddenly, his resentment roared up inside him. With a hard shrug, he backed out of Spock's grip and hollered, his voice cracking, "You're right! What I'm about to do, it doesn't make any sense, it's not logical. It's a gut feeling. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do." He paused as a painful dread filled him. He closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. "I only know what I can do. This ship and her crew need someone in that chair who knows what he's doing." Closing his eyes, memories flashed in his head. "It's not me, a high-class imposter." He inhaled deeply. "It's you, Spock. It has always been you." His voice creaked. He walked in to Marcus trap. He allowed Khan to fuck him. All of this was on him. He was a shitty Captain, who ruined everything he touched.

Spock took a step forward, closing the distance between them. "Jim," he stated softly.

God, why did it always get him when Spock said his name? His fucken name. What did that say about him? A sense of failure flooded Jim, feeling like it was coming down on him. He closed his eyes and focused on the sounds of the Enterprise, a sweet song that Scotty loved. This song was one of the things that he kept him going in the past. He could feel the life of the ship under his finger. He remembered sleeping on the floor, listening. The hum rocked him to sleep—when he could sleep, and even now, it settled him.

Jim sudden felt the closest of Spock and he was hit with everything that was Spock: his smell, his aura, his person, his strength. It may have been two years since they were together, but Jim wanted to jump into his former Lover's arms and bury himself in this chest. The realization hit Jim hard. Being with Spock wasn't like anything like Jim could explain. Against his better judgement, he allowed Spock to pull him into his embrace. He allowed the warmth to blanket him and he wanted to hide in Spock's arms. He wanted to bath in the warmth, but he couldn't stay here. His crew, former ship or not, needed him. The Captain had to step up. "Spock," he mumbled, his words muffled in Spock's Uniform. There was a soft kiss to Jim's forehead and a developing heat in his chest that.

Spock released Jim, but he did not step away. "Do not doubt your ability, Captain. You are an exceptional Captain."

Jim put his hand up, unable to deal with the raw emotion in Spock's voice, and took a large step back. "Report back to the bridge, Spock." He ordered, hoping his voice didn't portray his visceral shit show in his head. He needed to be a Captain first and foremost.

The Vulcan didn't move, his eyes drilling into Jim. "Very Well, Captain." Spock was unreadable to Jim. Truth be told, Jim had no idea what was going through Spock's head. Between disobeying orders and his almost dishonorable discharge, Spock was nearly unrecognized. It was bizarre, but that was a conversation and thought for another day.

*O*O*

If asked, Jim would deny the split-second hesitation that hit him when he stepped into the Med bay. He would deny the panic that formed deep in his chest, seeing Khan's ugly mug. No! The Captain in him shoved those feelings down, burying them deep in the pit in his stomach. Normally, Jim didn't have issues focusing. He may've been a young Captain, but he could keep his head on straight no matter the situation; yet, he was struggling at this moment. His mind kept wondering, his attention breaking. "Tell me everything you know about that ship." He hissed, loudly, as he closed the distance between him the psychopath, while several heads snapped to him.

Khan, grinning like the Devil, was sitting deadly still. His eyes were sharp and cold. "Is that what you wish to speak about?" he asked, his voice chilling.

"I'm not here for games," Jim hissed, ignoring the way McCoy's head snap around. "Tell me about that ship." Anyone who knew Jim knew he had a kind heart, but when push came to shove, Jim would do anything for his crew.

It was like a deadly lion was sitting in there, ready to strike even with the exact strength handcuffs. Khan, even perfectly still, looked ready to rip someone's head off. "Dreadnought class. Two times the size, three times the speed. Advanced weaponry. Modified for a minimal crew. Unlike most Federation vessels, it's built solely for combat." He answered, dryly.

"I'll do everything in my power to make you answer for what you did," he stated sternly. His heart screamed loudly in his ear as he stood in front of Khan. The heat rolling off the man was unnatural. "But right now, I need your help."

Khan's expression morphed like he had won the lottery. "In exchange for what?" he asked, licking his lip.

Jim closed his eyes, his hand balling at his side. A strong wave of nausea hit him, almost knocking him off his feet. What was once a playful smile turned nasty and sickening. "You said you'd do anything for your crew. l can guarantee their safety if you help." He replied, as he silently cursed in his head.

"Captain." Khan acknowledged, slowly. Like no other, he rolled Jim's title off his tongue like he was prince charming. It was a game. "You can't even guarantee the safety of your own crew."

Jim needed something to snap him back to reality. He needed to refocus his mind as he was seconds away from taking a phaser to Khan's head. What the hell was Bones doing? "Bones, what are you doing with that tribble?" he asked.

"The tribble's dead. I'm injecting Ha-Khan's platelets into the deceased tissue of a necrotic host. H-Khan's cells regenerate like nothing I've ever seen, and I want to know why," Bones answered, tripping over Khan's name. He looked over his shoulder at Khan, nailing him with his famous McCoy's death glare.

That was the very last thing he expected out of Bones' mouth, , but that was what he needed. "You coming with me or not?" he asked, turning back to Khan.

"I would follow your ass anyhow," Khan replied.

_(O(O)O)_

Jim's pants were pooled around his ankles, while his boxers hung just above his knees. His black professor jacket was draped over the chair to his desk. Jim, himself, was leaning over the desk on his elbows as he was trying to catch his breath. There was a cold breeze on his ass, but he was still running hot, sweat pouring down his face and body. He was trying to steady his legs, which threatened to give out.

"I must say, I enjoy the view," came John's husky voice. He was standing a few behind Jim, buttoning his pants.

Besides the fact that Jim was too exhausted for another round (John's stamina was something for the record books), he had a class in 15 minutes. Jim, with a laughing sigh, answered, "You have no end, do you?" he asked, as he straightened himself up and reached down to his boxer.

"Stop," John ordered, firmly.

"John," Jim mumbled, a soft warning and whine on his tongue. "I have a class."

James let out a soft chuckle. "Easy, James." He told, as light clicks of footsteps and a rattle of a water bottle could be heard behind him. "I am aware." When Jim looked back to see what John was doing, the man had crossed the room and was standing directly behind him with a wet shirt in one hand and a half empty water bottle in the other. Jim squirmed on contacted, closing his eyes, as John pressed the cold shirt to his legs. "Relax, Kirk." He ordered, placing his free hand on Jim's hip.

"You don't need to-" Jim started, before John placed a gentle kiss to his neck.

"Ssshhh," John hushed, proceeding to clean his lover. "Let me take care of you."

Jim winked, a flash of pain running through him as John hit a swore spot. "I don't think I'm sitting for a while," he laughed. "Good thing I teach standing up."

John squatted, and with a gentle hand, he pushed Jim's legs apart. "Stop being melodramatic. However, if you like, I can make that a true statement," he replied, his accent suddenly heavy. He placed a kiss to the inside of Jim's thigh. "Do you wish to see?"

There was an unspeakable need to move away. For some ungodly reason, Spock popped up in his mind, as he recalled a similar experience with the Vulcan after an Alpha shift. Spock had pinned him very similarly against the desk in his quarters. "Class," he said, his voice reaching unnatural levels, as he twisted away.

"We have 7 minutes," John smirked as he looked up from his squat position. He licked his lips.

A hard shiver ran down Jim's spine to his toes, as he stared down at John's hungry eyes. If he was a strong man, he would've voiced the fear that surged through him like a tidal wave. John had already showed that he was considerate and supportive of Jim's fears, but yet, he couldn't voice it. The words got wedged in his throat, and he was choking on them, as he flashed back to another pair of hungry eyes. The panic in his chest was strong. "Geez," Jim forced out through his teeth, as he reached down to his boxer. This overwhelming fight mode was triggered, even if Jim detested the very existence of it. "You never run out of stream." He spoke, pulling up his boxers.

The look in John's eyes changed as he slowly got to his feet. "Are you okay, James?"

"Yes, unless you keep calling me James," Jim answered, putting on a fake smile. He yanked up his pants, nicking the skin on the inside of his leg on the button. The skin still tinged as he struggled with his buckle for a second.

John played with the wet shirt in his hand, but he did not move. "Why would I stop? So fun to see your face crunch up."

The panic in Jim slowly died with John's playfulness, but his embarrassment was bubbling up. "Whatever," Jim said, quickly, as he crossed back to his chair. His fists balled in the hard fabric for a second as he picked up his uniform jacket. "I got to get to class." He did his best to push past this embarrassment and frustration. John had done nothing wrong, and Jim shouldn't be faulting him for doing nothing. With a deep harsh breath, he put his arms through the sleeves and pulled up. His eyes on the door and not John, he walked, and his sweaty fingers fumbled with the buttons, his heart beating.

A shake of the head, John stepped in front of James and, with a gentle touch, pulled him to a stop. John met Jim's confused and surprised stare, his hands working their way up Jim's covered arms. He placed two soft but firm hands on Jim's face, his thump rubbing a tender circle into his cheeks. "You can be honest with me, James. What is going on in that head of yours?"

Jim's hand reached forward and became entangled in John's shirt, his heart beating in his chest. "I'm good," he muttered, staring into John' eyes. Gone was the lust that Jim had seen a few moments ago. In its place was an expression that Jim couldn't read, but it was affectionately warm. "It's okay, John. My mind went somewhere."

John stared at Jim, eyeing the tiny twitches in Jim's face. "You do not have to hide from me, James." He spoke softly. He leaned forward, placed a soft kiss to Jim's lips and pulled back.

Against his better judgement and following the hunger in his stomach, Jim leaned forward for another kiss, though he only ended up chasing John's lips. "That's unfair," Jim softly whined, unable to catch them

A soft snicker escaped John's lips as a frisky grin took up half his face. "You have a class… though, I am sure you are already late for it."

Jim let out a frustrated moan. "You started it," he groaned, still feeing sore in several places.

John's hands dropped to Jim's shoulder. "Tonight. My place. I will prepare you a meal and fix whatever I have done to upset you."

A weak smile formed on Jim's face as he thought back to that hungry smile. "Okay," he sighed, not addressing John's earlier question. "Anyhow, you're right: I'm so late, which is a shame. I'm robbing my students of my good looks." He laughed. He leaned forward for another kiss, this time hitting his target. It was a simple peak on the lips, but it was nice. Really nice. Besides Jim's little freak out earlier, it was normal—whatever normal meant…. Well, except for the hot, hard sex against his desk. Chris would not be thrived about that. Granted, if Chris knew every place that Jim had sex, his head would explode. That aside and to the point that Jim had earlier, his relationship with John was normal. It was nice, god so nice. After Spock and the shit show of Salean, he didn't think he would ever have this, and he loved this.

_(O(O)O)_

Spock did not like- No, like would allude to his personal preference, which was based on emotion, impractical and illogical emotions. What he liked or preferred was not important, even if he only desired to keep Jim safe. If this could save the crew and the safe, then it must be done. Yet, this course of action was not advisable. The likelihood that this plan would succeed was low, and while adding Khan to the mix did improve the percentage of the Captain making onto the Vengeance successfully, it did not mean Jim had any chance of making it back. It was a given that Khan would—as the humans say—stab the Captain in the back at the first possible chance, regardless of the prior relationship that Jim and Khan had shared.

An unwelcomed, bitter feeling simmered up in his stomach, tossing, at the thought of Jim being with another; however, those feelings were unneeded, unimportant and illogical. Spock had no right to feel jealous; granted, this was more than jealousy. It was fury, not at Jim. Never at Jim. He was enraged—regardless of how illogical it was—at Khan, and at this point, he could break bone without batting an eye. This was all a game to Khan. After everything that the Captain had been through, it was madding. There was this undeniable itch under his skin, and if it wasn't a life-threatening situation, Spock would be tucked away in his quarters, attempting to mediate, instead of thinking of ways to kill Khan. It was most un-Vulcan like, though most would understand considering Jim's importance to him. It was logical to protect one mate.

The Captain is not your mate, Spock chastised himself. Nevertheless, he is my Captain for however long this mission takes. It is my duty to protect him. And he would protect him. "Lieutenant, from our current position, is it possible to establish contact with New Vulcan?" Spock asked, as he rotated the Captain's chair slightly to see Uhura. Selek was tightlipped about future, and while Spock understood, the timeline as Selek knew was destroyed. How could they change a future that was already altered?

"I'll do my best." Uhura answered, tightly, not looking up from her desk.

Spock nodded as he turned to Sulu. "Mister Sulu, what is the status of the other ship?"

Sulu's hand was firmly on the throttle, pushing it ever to gently. "Their systems are still offline. I'm aligning our ship now."

"There is a considerable debris field between our ships," Saavik interjected. "The likelihood of this plan is less than 24.234%."

A very human emotion effervesced up inside of him at her words. Spock did not need the percentage. He was well aware already; yet, if he were to calculate it himself, it would be different, not by a large number. Only by a few decimals, but it would be different. To most, it would be insensible. Doctor McCoy would babble, jabbing gibberish for hours upon hours about it and throwing mild insults. However, the fact remained that he was correct. Saavik was off. "We are aware, Lieutenant Saavik. Yet, I calculate the odds at 24.2365%. Please keep an eye on the debris. We will need to alert the Captain."

Saavik turned, meeting Spock's eyes with a raised eyebrow. Spock had been on the receiving end of Vulcans' glares since very young age; however, there was something different about Saavik's hypercritical eyes. Her eyes were sharper than even his former betrothed, T'Pring—a woman, who disliked his very existence, no matter how illogical it was.

"What did I walk into?" McCoy drawled, his heavy accent snapping the bridge's crew to him. "Why are you fighting with my Favorite Vulcan?"

Spock turned to face the Doctor, his eye brow rising two inches. "In order to have a favorite, Doctor, you must have met a large number of Vulcans to make that judgment. I am unaware you knew many Vulcans." There was also the question as to who McCoy was referring to as his favorite Vulcan was, and no, it did not matter to the Commander.

"Hmm." McCoy hummed as he let out a harsh sigh. "Anyways, tell me this stupid plan is gonna work."

"I have neither the information nor the confidence to do so, Doctor." He replied, drily. As stated before, he did not endorse this plan.

"Boy, you're a real comfort." McCoy mumbled as he folded his arms across this chest.

Spock wasn't the best at picking up sarcasm, but he was not as naïve as McCoy or anyone else thought. He was aware to what McCoy was referring to. The Vulcan had no issue with this assessment, as he did not have any interest in soothing anyone. They were highly trained Starfleet Officers, who did not need comfort. If needed, the only person who he would provide comfort to was Captain Kirk. The only person he would attempt to provide comfort for was his mate. "I shall work on that," Spock dry panned.

"And your poker face," McCoy said, nodding toward Saavik, "Needs work."

Spock was about to respond to the Doctor's absurd statement, but there was truth to his words. His face was usually a blank slate; however, lately, his once private, guarded emotions were opened to the world to see. For most, they were still hidden behind an iron mask, but to those who had served with, they could spot the unusual emotions on his face. Granted, they probably didn't know Spock wanted to put Khan in the airlock and blast him into space. And no, he would not enjoy watching the man explode, even if that was not accurate. "I will keep that in mind." He stayed, trying his best to school his emotions.

McCoy lowered himself, leading heavily against the Captain's chair—which received a heavy Vulcan stare. However, he did not move, still crowded in Spock's personal space. "Just be nice to Saavik. Jim's fond of her."

Spock did not turn, his eyes forward. It was nothing; Jim was fond of all his crew. This did not mean anything… well, besides the fact that Jim allowed Saavik to pull him into her arms. That alone was telling. Vulcans did not freely touch. "What is the Captain's status?"

"Khan and the Captain are on Stand-bye." Sulu answered.

*O*O*

Khan and Jim were alone in the torpedo tubes, ready to be launched, and Jim's nerves were on fire. Being this close to the man was nerve-racking, and it took everything he had in him to remain calm. The burning questions were still there, engraved into his head. One question haunted him most of all: why? Jim wanted- needed to fucken to know, while not wanting to know at the same time. Nonetheless, now was not the time to ask these questions. Jim needed a clear mind for what was about to happen. He needed to be the Captain. "You ready?" he asked, directing the question to the top of Khan's helmet. He didn't need to see his ex-lover blue eyes.

"That suit does wonders for your ass," Khan replied, overdramatically tilting his head back to look.

Jim, uncharacteristically, took a large step back. "Stop it." He hissed, his eyes blazing. "Don't confuse this. You're still going to pay for your crimes."

Khan snickered. "It's cute. You're cute when you are angry, Captain."

Jim wanted to rip his helmet off and whack Khan over the head with it. He wanted to take the phaser in the suit's backpack and put a hole right in Khan's face, and he could do it without batting an eye. "Enough," he said, flaring his teeth. "You can drop the act, since the cat is out of the bag. I don't see how this is strategic anymore." He had no idea why he was so pissed off that a murdering Psychopathic was playing with him. To be honest, it was probably better. All the fondness that he was had for Khan went out the airlock and died in deep space. He had no doubt that Khan could not be save

"Captain," Scotty said, his sudden voice snapping Jim from his anger. "I wish I had better news. They've locked out the access to the ship's computer. They'll have full weapons in three minutes. That means next time I won't be able to stop them destroyin' the Enterprise. Stand by."

"Copy that." Jim stated, keeping an eye on Khan from the corner of his eyes. He, a man who had ran naked across campus and lost countless times at strip poker, was suddenly self- conscious and wanted hide in an oversize blanket in a corner of the room. John-No, Khan was flirtatious, but now looking back, it could've all been an act. "Scotty." Jim called, after a few long painfully silent seconds.

"I'm in the hangar. Give me a minute. I'm runnin'. Stand by." There was a long pause, and only Scotty's breathing could be heard. "Whoa, whoa, hold up, Captain. This door is very wee…. I mean…. you know… small. It's four square meters, tops. It's gonna be like jumpin' out of a moving car, off a bridge, into your shot glass."

Before Jim could even speak, Khan replied—with some kind of bizarre pride-, "It is nothing that the Captain has not done before?" Jim glared at Khan, his hands balling at his side. "Did you not space jump onto a drilling platform?"

Jim remembered telling that story to Khan, remember telling him how anxious he was. How his heart pounded in his chest, almost popping out of his chest. He told Khan about the small smile that burst on his face and the shame that followed when he won against the Romulan and killing him. A horrible realization dawned on him. Shit, what else did you tell him? he hissed at himself. "The manual override, Scotty. Did you find it?" he asked, his voice louder than intended. Why the hell is he looking at me like that? Mother fucker.

"Not yet, not yet." Scotty breathed heavily. His legs must be screaming. A large bulkhead unlocking was heard in the background.

"Captain, before you launch, you should be aware there is a substantial debris field between our ships." Spock said over the comm system.

"Spock, not now. Scotty, you good?" Jim replied, pointedly refusing to look at Khan. Khan, who was still focused fully on Jim. This time at least, he wasn't staring at his ass.

"It's not easy! Just give me two seconds, all right, you mad bastard!" Came Scotty's huffed reply.

Jim took a few deep breaths as he waited for Scotty to find the correct panel on the Vengeance, the computer chirping. It was like they were waiting for paint to dry. Muting his line, he turned to Khan. Again, questions that popped into his head, so many that he wanted to ask. He needed to ask. But what would that change? Would that help anything right? No, it wouldn't. Changing his mind, he unmuted his comm. "Scotty." He called, his voice betraying him.

Scotty replied a few seconds later. "Okay, okay! I'm set to open the door."

With a deep breath, Kirk turned to Khan. "You ready?" he stated through his teeth.

"Are you, James?" he asked, rolling his tongue around Jim's name.

God, why did Jim want to punch this man every five seconds? "Spock, pull the trigger." He ordered, his voice very much a Captain's voice.

"Yes, Captain." Spock answered, his voice ever so dry. There were a few seconds of silence before he spoke, "Launching activation sequence on three, two, one."

It happened in a blink of the eye: the hatch opened, blasting Khan and Kirk into space.

*O*O*

Captain Kirk wished he could've said that he had been graceful-something that he would play up at a later date-, but he was anything but. He was the opposite of nimble, but he was grateful to say that Khan hadn't fare well either. They both hit the ground hard as the hatch closed behind them, his chest roaring in protest and pain, and was sent flying into a harrowing roll. Jim had lost count to how many times he rolled, his head battered with each smack against the ground. When he finally came to a stop, Jim—even with Marcus trying to kill them—just wanted to lay there and ride out his pain, but he had to move. Had to get to his feet. As he could move his arms, he knew they weren't broken, but god, it felt like someone had tried to rip his arms from their sockets.

"Welcome aboard, Captain," Scotty greeted, heavily, pulling Jim away from his pain.

Jim let out aloud groan as he looked up through his cracked helmet. Scotty unwrapped himself from whatever he had around his wrist to keep him from flying out of the ship. "I-it's good to s-see you, Scotty," he moaned loudly and with a shaky breath.

"Who is that?" Scotty asked, unable to see Khan's face as he was turned away from him.

Before Jim could push him up to his knees or even speak, Khan had moved, and his hands were on Jim. He took advantage of Jim's daze, and as if he cared, his hands wandered up and down Jim's body, quickly and firmly. He wrapped his hands around Jim's wrists, checking for any sign of a broken bone. "Nice to see you again, Commander Scott," Khan answered, turning slightly to Scotty, who scowled viciously.

"Gets your bloody hands off him!" Scotty yelled, his voice echoing, as he searched for a phaser of his own.

At the same time, Jim shivered at the once warmed touch; snapping back to reality, Jim forcefully shook off Khan's hands as if he had been burned. His cerulean eyes were large, a wild look on his face. "Don't touch me." he hissed.

Not moving from Jim's side, Khan's eyes scanned over his ex-lover (Though Jim barked at that word now) from head to tail. "It would do us no well if you are injured, James."

If Jim killed Khan, would anyone notice? Surely, no one would notice. He promised both Spock and Bones (though not in so many words) that he wouldn't kill Khan and would bring him to justice instead. However, no one would need to know. "Scotty, you should know," Jim started, exhaling deeply, "Harrison's real name is Khan and he is a Murdering Psychopath from the past."

Scotty narrowed his eyes. "Hello, Murdering Psychopath."

Khan returned Scotty cold, lethal stare. "They'll know we're here. I know the best way to the bridge." He replied drily.

Fighting through the pain, Jim pushed himself to the feet and took a large step away from Khan, his skin still inching from Khan's hands. After stepping out of his spacesuit (Khan doing the same), he took assembled two phasers and reluctantly handed one to Khan. There was a warning in his eyes. "It's locked to stun." He said. "I'll shoot you if needed."

"Theirs won't be." Khan replied, his eyes meeting Jim's. "Oh, I love your bedside matter, James."

"Try not to get shot." Jim remarked, shortly.

*O*O*

Jim and Scotty lost track of Khan when they run into a hand full of crewmembers. Jim wasn't sure if the word "crewmember" was an accurate to describe them. In the words that Scotty had used earlier, they were more like private security, who had taken one too many 'pill,' as these so-called crew members towered over Scotty and Jim. Shit. Jim thought he was good shape, but his arm was half the size of one of theirs. The security officer knocked Jim back, leaving Jim only one option. He put his arms up, blocking any direct hit to his face. He was seeing stars after one hit, but luckily, he didn't have to last long as Scotty stunned the officer, knocking him out. Finally able to breath, Jim promised to reward the man with 10 steak dinners.

"Where is he?" Scotty asked, the air heavy in his lungs.

By he, Scotty meant Khan, who had disappeared in the fight. "Shit." Jim cursed, scanning the area for Khan. "Shit."

"This way," came Khan's voice, as he popped up behind Jim. His harsh eyes did a once over Jim, his eyes pausing over the redness on his face. As if he didn't realize it would be unwelcomed, he reached a hand up to Jim's check.

Khan's stare unnerved him. "Is this all fun to you?" He hissed, slapping away Khan's hand.

"Looking at you? Is it enjoyable? Why yes it is, James." He replied, his expression as cheeky as ever. He gave Jim one last look before he turned away and vanished around a corner.

Jim looked to Scotty, a scowl on his face. "The minute we get to the bridge, drop him."

"Be my pleasure," Scotty replied, grimly. Phaser raised, Jim and Scotty followed after Khan.

*O*O*

Only mere seconds passed when Khan, Scotty and Jim popped onto the bridge, their phaser aimed and ready. The downside of having a small crew was how quickly they could be taken down. It was a blessing for the three of them, as they could get to the Admiral faster, but that could not be said for Marcus. Firing while entering, Khan, Kirk and Scott each took out two crewmembers, while Carol—once noticing them- tackled the nearest man to her knocking him out. Unbidden anger rushing through him, Jim heatedly pointed his phaser at Marcus, and with a nod from Jim, Scotty stunned Khan, who unexpectedly fell just as easy as the others.

"Make sure he stays down," Jim hissed.

Scotty, with a shaky head, walked around Carol and the control panel. "Excuse me," he said, awkwardly. If there was one thing that could be said about the Engineer and the First Officer of the Providence, he wasn't a fighter. Scotty was a fine First Officer, and Jim and he made a good command team, but Scottish man wasn't one for hand to hand combat.

"Admiral Marcus, you're under arrest." Jim hissed, his hand wrapped tightly around his phaser.

Marcus smiled as if he didn't have a phaser pointed at him by an angry Starfleet Captain. "You're cute, Kirk. Why don't you put that down and talk? Afterward, I won't be going anywhere"

Fury boiled beneath Jim's skin. "Admiral Marcus, get out of the chair." This man didn't know him. How dare he think he wouldn't take him in? That he could be talked out of this?!

"You'd better stop and think about what you're doing, Kirk. You'd better think about what you did on Qo'noS. You made an incursion onto an enemy planet. You killed a Klingon patrol. Even if you got away without a trace, a war is coming. And who is going to lead us? You? If I'm not in charge, our entire way of life is decimated! So, if you want me off this ship, you better be prepared to go down with me, Son." Marcus countered, his voice cold as ice.

A warming bell went off in Jim's head. "I can stun your ass and drag you out of that chair if you like. I'd rather not do that in front of your daughter." He snarled.

Marcus' eyes dropped to tiny monitor on his chair, and he pressed a button. "I'm not so sure of that," he replied with a Chester cat smile.

Jim didn't have to wait long to figure out why Marcus sounded so cheery, as very loud moans filled the bridge. Very loud and familiar moans, and he suddenly felt ill. He knew those moans, could recognize his own voice from crowd. His grip on his phaser and the tension in his arms loosened. Someone could've slapped him, and he couldn't have known. "W-What is this?" he uttered, his own voice hitting his ear.

"Sound familiar?" the Admiral smiled, as he pressed another button on the arm of the Captain's chair.

The large viewing screens flickered on, and Jim's stomach plummeted. His arms dropped to his side, just barely keeping a handle on his phaser. On the large viewing screen was a very naked Khan and a very naked Jim in Jim's old academy office. The angle wasn't the best, but everything was viewable right down to Jim's erect penis in Khan's hand and Khan's dick in his ass. Video Jim let out a loud moan, throwing his head back and bearing his neck to Khan, who gladly sucked a hickey into the smooth golden skin.

"Jim," Scotty called, his voice going into a shrieking category.

Video Jim chanted Khan's fake name as Khan pressed him harder into the professor desk, which screeched as it slid a few inches. Video Khan– fake ass jerk— whispered sweet words into Video Jim's ear. "What is this?" Jim choked out as Video Jim let out another loud squeal. Jim's head was about to explode.

"Oh, this?" Marcus laughed. "I have many more videos like it. It seemed like you and Khan were busy." The video switched to a different sex scene. This one was of Khan's apartment with a view of the sofa where Jim sat in Khan's lap. The sound wasn't as good, but the angle was better. Every expression on Jim's face was visible as Khan pushed up into him.

Jim's heart sunk as he glanced back to the still unconscious Khan. His face was starch white, and his stomach, plunging, was doing flips. "It was you," he choked, his words getting stuck in his throat. Khan's words floating back to him, and Jim's unasked question answered. "Why?"

Marcus leaned back in the chair. "Always good to have blackmail, especially on a wildcard Captain like yourself. It will work wonders on Admiral Pike." He said, smiling.

"Father!" Carol chastised, her shock and disgust written on her face.

Another one of video Jim's moan echoed across the bridge. "Blackmail? You pictured this exact situation?" he balked, raising his shaky arms once more. He ignored the quiver in his arms, the vomit in this throat, as he tried to shut out his Khan and his moans. God, was he really this loud?

Marcus' smirk only grew. "No, this was just a happy bonus. I ordered Khan to fuck you for a different reason. These videos went over well with Salean and his Father."

Jim's legs shook beneath him and the ship spun. "What?" he asked, unable to deny the drop in his voice.

"Since you couldn't keep your legs closed on Dalenius, I had to go to plan B. I couldn't have you ruin everything that I have worked for, Boy." Marcus chuckled, anger breaking through. "Oh, you have no idea of the scandal this would cause on Dalenius if this got out. Salaen, imprisoned or not, and Saleen would lose everything, right down to their shoes. To have your mate stolen from you is the biggest sign of weakness on that backward planet. It would've stripped them of everything. And to stop this video from getting out, Saleen was willing to give and do anything."

"Not his anything." Jim wobbled on his feet, this phaser slipping from his hand. Salaen saw these videos? "He…" Everything just stopped, and Jim fell to his knees. He fell hard, as everything came rushing back. Everything ripped from him, stealing everything that Jim had rebuilt. Jim knew it was all a game to Khan. All strategic, but he could handle that, but this was worse. "You ordered Khan…." His voice breaking. "Just to show Salaen." Salaen had seen… The man, who had raped him and broke everything, had seen these. Had seen parts of him that he had no right to.

Marcus gave Jim the most disgusting look he could muster. "Don't be a pussy, Boy. You fucked Khan willingly. You did that. Not my fault you're Starfleet slut. I just used it to my advantage." He said, as video Jim slammed himself down on Khan's lap and let out one loud moan.

Scotty, unable to take this anymore and unable to take scene in front of him, re-aimed, pointing his phaser at the Admiral. "Turn it off now." He demanded, frostily, his accent heavier than ever.

"Father," Carol cried, tears running down her face. Her eyes dancing between the destroyed Jim and her father.

Marcus lifted an eye brow and laughed. However, Marcus's glee didn't last long as everything went to shit seconds later.

Author note:

Oh, poor Jim. His world was just shattered. Do we ever think he will ever recovered? Also, does Khan care? 0_0. Maybe, just a hint?

Side note, i do love your comments and story ideas. Sure, I probably won't use them (you never know), but they are muses to me. Spark some ideas and keeps me writing. So you can leave them, while you tell me what you like or don't like.

For example, someone left a comment about a Baby Kirk. For some reason, I loved the idea of Jim (in one of those body baby carriers) carrying about a tiny baby. Haha. I doubt I would put a baby Kirk in this story but you never know.

Let me know what you think of this chapter!