Hallo and welcome back!
Or maybe I should welcome myself because you might have spent a lot of time on this site lately... Sorry for the delay, I've been on vacation and while this chapter had been done for a while Ghost insisted that I better enjoy my vacation instead of uploading it and spending the days refreshing my emails like a lunatic in desperate need for praise from any of you. Anyways, thanks to Ghost for finally betaing and allowing me to be the shitty gardener I'm meant to be.

Dinner was weird. The fact that Mihawk, who always insisted on these 'family dinners' had excused himself to eat in his study was proof enough. Even weirder though, was that the idiot wasn't drinking. Now that he knew Haki and was allowed to drink again he should be drinking after all the whining he'd done. In fact he should have been totally shitfaced drunk the last week. And now he didn't even sip.

He ignored her for the most part while he scarfed down his dinner, now that Mihawk wasn't here to reprimand him for it. Her mistake in watching that disgusting display only registered when he put down his cutlery and with a resounding belch leaned back in his chair, eye trained on her. Damn pig…

"You're disgusting," she said, dabbing her mouth with a napkin before drinking from her wine. He laughed in her face.

"So what, you still want me to fuck you," he taunted, voice back to that weird… bedroom timbre that didn't make her knees weak. Ugh, she hated the brute for being right! With a pout she reached for the bottle -it was even the expensive stuff and he didn't drink!- but he was faster, snatching it away. "Easy on the alcohol, I want you aware and alert," he said, leaning back with one of his lazy smirks.

"Who the hell would want to be aware when they have your hideous mug in front of them!"

"Cute."

Stupid idiot brute! Why exactly did she want to do that with him again? Because he was infuriatingly good at it… how was he even good at that? The hag had told her not to worry if the first time wasn't any good, because people got better with practice. Now how the hell did an idiot that got lost on a straight line find people to practice with? She was pretty sure that it couldn't have been more than flings because the chances that he'd find his partner for a second time were basically nonexistent unless he was stuck with them on a tiny island he couldn't find his way off of. Or a ship. Had he been with the women of his crew? Obviously not with Nico Robin, because he was just too stupid to entertain a woman of intellect… not that she was stupid, but she'd been over that before… the only other woman was the navigator and she was pretty sure that if their hair got too close it would clash enough to blind people, and since before he'd been even more of a stupid idiot and had lost his eye to Mihawk-chan his eyesight had been just fine… So probably no experiences on the crew.

"How many women did you do that thing with?" She asked under scrunched up eyebrows. Obviously she only did it because she was truly desperate and there was nothing better around and maybe she even pitied him a bit? Definitely the only reason…

"Don't know. We come through lots of harbours," he shrugged.

She huffed around a piece of meat. So he really was just a stupid fuckboy like the hag had warned her …

"What about the two in your crew?" She asked and immediately regretted the underlying urgency that had pressed that question while he was drinking. Disgusting barbarian spat all over the table.

"Have you fucking seen Nami and Robin? They're fucking terrifying! Shitcook would have skinned me with a spoon, too, if I even thought about either of them the wrong way." He cursed, awfully defensive before calming down considerably. "Nami is like my sister and I really don't think either of them would want that kind of-" he trailed off, and there was something dark and grim in his voice, silent fury in his eye on their behalf.

She might have been naive in some regards but she understood loud and clear. She knew she'd been lucky that Moria-sama had taken her in as a daughter and kept her safe all these years. She put down her cutlery and dabbed her mouth again with the napkin in her lap before smiling at him.

"They are strong now and have family to keep them safe," she assured and the clouds lifted from his gaze and his shoulders relaxed. Wicked grin stretching over his lips. "Right, and honestly don't forget, they are fucking terrifying," he laughed.

Goddamn idiot brute was cute when he laughed like that. Maybe it was time to admit, that he wasn't only a good lay but also, actually a good guy… Infuriating.

So their navigator was his sister, but apart from the obvious he hadn't really said anything that spoke against the smart one… Apart from the obvious fact that such an intelligent person would never be interested in an idiot like him. If she could maybe talk him into an innocent little crush for her, that desperate pining might actually be more entertaining than the other things they did now… And it would give her an edge against him that she didn't have with the sex thing.

"So… you didn't say anything else against Nico Robin, are you intimidated by her age or her intellect?" she asked before nipping on her glass, an action that would have seemed much more condescending if he hadn't cut her off earlier.

His indignant sputtering was lovely though, made her very much remember that he indeed was not cute at all.

"Only prepubescent boys would be intimidated by age," he covered up, tried to anyways.

She looked at him with a finger on her chin. "So, did you just call yourself prepubescent or stupid?" She asked and he bristled like a wet cat at the insinuation.

"I'll fucking show you that I'm not, you fucking brat! And if you really want to know, yes Robin is hot as fuck, but that doesn't matter because I can't think of her that way, she's Nakama, and she sure as fuck wouldn't appreciate it if I lusted after her like the damn cook does. We're friends, we enjoy each other's company because we're the only two people on that fucking ship that know how to shut up for a moment and enjoy the quiet, that's all there ever will be, so stop your fucking meddling."

What a pity, it was fun to rile him up but with the way he'd said it… there was no story there no matter how the words could be interpreted. The tone was final, there was nothing there and there never would be unless she instigated it… and to use his words that sure as fuck wasn't going to happen.

"What's with the questioning anyways? Are you trying to set me up with Robin 'cuz you're afraid I'll fall in love with you just because we fuck?" He laughed, that loud unabashed laugh of his, the one she absolutely didn't like. "Or are you afraid that you will fall for an idiot brute like me, if I'm available?"

Ouch. "Who'd ever fall for a barbarian like you? I wouldn't even sleep with you if I had others to choose from," she huffed and he grinned. How did this turn on her so quickly?

"What, are you intimidated by age?" He asked with a cocked brow and the slightest nod to where Mihawk had sat few minutes ago.

That… that infuriating bastard! "No I am not? He's not my type is all. Also I'm pretty sure he's gay, have you seen that plume? And the sword sure is compensation for something," she huffed, incessantly hoping that the shichibukai didn't listen in on their conversation… Not that the idiot brute thought of any possible repercussions for gossiping about Mihawk-chan like that, he only sported that boyish grin on his face that never, not once, had made her stop to think that he might be cute. Not cute! "Don't look at me like that, 3 swords sure says something about you, too!" She tried to save, even though she knew it wouldn't help much. With how much she'd embarrassed herself when they'd been together any jab in that direction was probably just stroking his stupid ego.

"About that," he started and she concluded that he was quite possibly schizophrenic, because suddenly he was just different. There couldn't be any other explanation on how he'd change from cute to predatory that quickly and he'd done it often enough to know what she was talking about. It only happened when they talked about that and she really didn't know how to react to it. It made her body do weird things, like thinking he was cute without immediately correcting herself.

"I'll try some things with you today and this time it won't do for you to let me guess what you like and what you don't. So, red if you want me to stop, yellow if you want to continue but careful, green for more."

She huffed… Of course he'd pick green as the 'yes, more please' colour. Vain this alter ego of his, wasn't it?

"Understood?"

"Yes," she said despite her thoughts, because she knew where this would lead if she mumbled or something. She was an adult after all, she wouldn't go down to his childish ways.

He smiled, fond somehow, approving… Good girl… Bastard was completely ruining her.

"Good," he said and the same weird happiness as last time bloomed in her chest, even though he loudly scraped his chair over the stone floor like the barbarian he was. He stopped at the door to call back at her, "don't make me wait."

She huffed when the door closed after him and poured herself another glass of wine now that he wasn't there to reprimand her. Don't make me wait. There was no way he'd find his room in under an hour… she had plenty time to sit here and think about her life choices. It wasn't like there was any danger that she'd fall in love with him, but the insinuation hurt anyways. She'd come to admit to herself that he was attractive in his stupid rugged way, so that claim was really too close to the truth for her liking. He couldn't know that.

Please leave a comment to let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is also always welcome! see you sometime soon hopefully, stay strong and healthy or get well soon!