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Trigger warnings for rape/non-con, suicidal thoughts

Roni

I may not have been paying attention to the speed limit, or even other cars, as I floored the gas pedal all the way to Melanie's apartment. I couldn't even remember being mad at her anymore, every hateful bone in my body was focusing on the very man who couldn't care less about what woman want when he sticks his-

A blaring siren cut off my gruesome thoughts and I nearly honked back. Instead, I pulled over. I inhaled frailly and sighed as Landon strode up to my window and tapped twice on the glass.

"Well, if it isn't Roni. Care to explain why you were going nearly fifty miles an hour on Main Street, sister?"

"Let me go with a warning please? Melanie needs me and I know my mistake, I'll go slower, and you know me, I'm a good driver. Please? She needs me."

"I'll have to ask you to run a breathalyzer test before I can let you go, but if you're clean, I'm letting you off with a warning; next time you're getting a ticket," Landon promised. I smiled briefly.

"Yes, but please hurry," I pleaded. He nodded and went back to his car to search for the breathalyzer. He came back and held the stemmed nozzle in front of me. I quickly breathed out and Landon waited for a moment.

"Alright then, you're free to go," Landon said.

"Thank you so much," I called to Landon's retreating back. I pulled away from the curb and drove significantly slower, but no less rushed. I parked my car outside the apartment building and hurried inside. I buzzed for Melanie's room, and she answered quickly. The door clicked open and I ran right through to the staircase. I took the stairs two at a time, while an older lady watched me curiously. I didn't pay attention to her, instead thinking about Melanie.

Her door was unlocked when I pantingly darted into her apartment. Melanie was sitting in the middle of her kitchen floor, knees curled up to her chest. Tear tracks ran down her pink-tinted cheeks, and her nose was more red than her eyes. A positive pregnancy test was sat in front of her, taunting her. I always hated it when someone cried, but Melanie looked so pure and innocent. I immediately wanted to punch something, preferably James.

I didn't say anything when I sat down beside her and hugged her waist, because I couldn't think of anything that would make things better. I'm not sure how long we were sitting on the floor, but by the time Melanie pulled me off the floor, my bottom was sore.

She pulled me over to her couch and sat me down, before climbing on after me and laying her head on my lap. She silently sobbed into my black skirt, but I didn't care. I stroked her hair while she muttered words into my clothes.

"What did you say?" I asked her. She reluctantly pulled her head upright and her bottom lip trembled as she whispered,"I told him no. He didn't listen. I didn't fight. I should have." She hugged me again tightly, as I fully processed what she said.

"I'm going to kill the horrible excuse for a human being if it's the last thing I do," I muttered darkly and responded to her embrace. She chuckled through the wet tears, but her chuckle turned into another choked sob. I didn't ask for details when I pulled her off the couch and through the hallway.

"Come on, you need some sleep," I said gently. She pouted but followed me into her room, where she stripped from her red skimpy outfit and traded it for red flannel pyjamas. She barely let go of me when doing so, and I waited until she was ready for bed when I left her room and shuffled down the hallway.

"Can you stay with me tonight?" I heard Melanie's small voice ask from a crack in the door.

"Of course, as long as you'll have me," I answered her. She almost smiled and opened the door wider for me. She gave me a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to wear to bed. When I finished changing, Melanie was already in bed, smothered by the sheets. I stifled the snicker in my throat and laid down next to her. She turned to me and immediately wound her arm over my waist and curled into me.

"He got me drunk. I didn't know he wasn't drinking until I remembered seeing his untouched beer."

"May I ask how much you drank?"

"A beer and a scotch. Enough to be a little tipsy, but not enough to be oblivious to what was happening." She stuttered as she told me the rest of her tale, how she begged him no, how she ached for days, and how she wished it never happened, that she would accept death if it came to her. She even admitted to thinking about death, taking away her pain, but dismissed the thoughts.

I always wanted her to know what I went through with her father. I told myself I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemies, but I did on Snow. I wanted her to understand how I felt every single night, how disgusting and defaced I felt afterwards, but now that it actually happened to her, I would kill someone to reverse time and prevent James from laying a hand on her.

I stroked her milky cheek and said that I wouldn't let anyone lay a hand on her ever again, and I meant it. I recounted for her my worst encounter with a drunk Leopold, and we both cried as I told her about the scar I got on my lip when he slapped me, the bruises on my thighs, the fingernail indents from his greedy fingers on my hips, and my soreness for nearly a month afterwards. We both fell asleep with tears dripping onto the pillows.

I woke up disoriented, cold, and a blunt pain in my belly. Melanie was not in the bed beside me, but I heard the shower running in the bathroom, with a muffled sound in the background. The shower turned off and the sink started running.

Melanie came out of the bathroom with dry hair and a pained look etched on her fair face. I reached my arms out of the bed towards her, and she smirked and came back into bed in front of me. I rested my nose on her neck and had my hands wrapped around her abdomen. I sighed contentedly and heard Melanie shuffling.

"Morning," I whispered gently. She made a small "mmm," sound and moved my hand from her belly and put it on her thigh instead.

"Oh, sorry," I whispered. She shook her head and made another small sound, before placing her hand on top of mine and drawing circles over it. "Can I ask you some questions?" I asked her. Her body tensed up against me for a moment, then she relaxed and nodded.

"What do you think you're going to do with it?" She froze up again and turned around to face me.

"I'm not sure," she breathed. I could hear the terror in her voice, and could only hold her close to my body as I rubbed my hands up and down her back.

"Whatever you choose, we'll figure this out."

"We?"

"You really think I'm not going to be here through everything?"

"But you were so mad at me, and you had a reason to be."

"I know, but I'm not leaving your side anymore, at least not after I kick James's sorry little-"

"Roni, I don't want you to do that."

"Why not? He deserves it!"

"He absolutely deserves it, but I just don't want you to. Please?" I sighed and pouted.

"Fine, but I may have to take up kickboxing."

"Roni, I told you-"

"I'll use a punching bag, don't worry." She chuckled to herself and nodded.

"Can we not talk about him? Or the…fetus. I just want to have a nice morning with you without them both ruining my mood."

"Of course. I don't think I've ever made you my apple french toast, I'll have to make it for you."

"No, you're my guest. Let me make you something."

"I'm not a guest, I'm your girlfriend who wants to make you breakfast, as long as you feel up for it, of course."

"I'm your girlfriend?" The way Melanie asked the question made my heart break, like she couldn't possibly believe that I wanted.

"Of course I am, aren't I?"

"Yes. I just didn't think you'd want me now that things have changed." Melanie sat up and pecked me on the cheek before getting out of bed and pulling me up after her. She led me into the kitchen tentatively.

"I'd never do that," I told her. "Do you feel like eating?" She twisted her slightly-smiling mouth in thought, and nodded. I ran my thumb over her twisting bottom lip and put my finger under her chin.

"Are you…okay with kissing me? I just don't want you to-" Melanie silenced me by planting her red lips on mine quickly, then pulled back.

"I'm fine, I think. Kissing anyway." I nodded and completely understood what she meant. I wasn't sure how she could stand being touched, even if it was just hugging like last night and this morning. I asked her that as she dug out a frying pan from a cupboard, and she turned around rather quickly.

"Because I knew it was you. Your hands are soft. Not like his. I can tell it's you." I nodded and watched her patter around the kitchen looking for dishes and bowls.

"Here you go, Mills. Wow me with your cooking."

"I won't settle for anything less than perfection for you," I retorted. She chuckled and strode into the living room.

Melanie almost looked the same, but she wasn't. Her eyes were blank, her smile wasn't as vibrant, her voice quieter and more reserved, she didn't usually speak more than a few words in a sentence, and she looked a few inches shorter than she was. I sighed and cooked up breakfast, and decided to make up a mug of peppermint tea for her.

When I walked into the living room, she was curled up on the couch with her hands over her flat belly, and she was shaking again. I set down her plate and mug of tea and sat down beside her. I pulled her hands off her abdomen and rubbed them with my own. She was still shaking, but she tried smiling.

"I don't know what to do. I've always wanted children, but I'm not sure I want a living reminder of him," Melanie muttered, most likely to herself.

"I'll be here for whatever you decide," I told her earnestly. She nodded and looked up at me with large, teary eyes.

"I'm sorry for burdening you with all this. I'm sure you don't want to hear about my sob story, and remind you about your old…?"

"Husband," I said shyly.

"…husband. I don't want to weigh you down, so I don't blame you if you leave."

"Didn't I already tell you? I'm not leaving. Ever. I'll be here for everything. I don't care if it reminds me of him, it doesn't hurt as much anymore. I'll be here to help you with this, because I didn't have anyone to help me with it. I'm falling for you, and I won't leave unless you ask me to."

"Okay," she said plainly. She leaned forward and took a sip of her peppermint tea and cringed.

"Morning sickness?" I guessed. She nodded and hurriedly leapt off the couch and sprinted for the bathroom. I didn't care what Melanie wanted at this point, James needed to have his face bashed in.

I didn't end up finding him in the bar. He was just walking down the street like all was fine. Not for long. Melanie was still in the drug store, so I had time to confront him before she came back out. As I passed him, I brought my hand up to his collar and pulled him into the alley between Granny's. He clearly couldn't tell I was angry, and grinned at me knowingly, growling slightly. I grimaced and barred my teeth to him as I brought my knee up to his crotch. He bent over and gasped as I pulled him upright and held his neck, while punching him square in the jaw. I ignored the stinging in my hand as I elbowed him in the groin. When he was bending over once more, I used my forearm to bring him back upright and choke him.

"I don't fight women," James said huskily.

"Like hell you do," I growled,"what you did to Melanie, that wasn't hurting her?"

"She never said no!" he exclaimed desperately.

"Bullshit. She said she told you 'no' many times before she gave up. You couldn't even tell she didn't want it?" He looked at me dumbly and coughed slightly. I rolled my eyes and pushed all my force into his neck. He clutched and grappled at my arm miserably, choking and coughing out.

"Roni, stop it!" Melanie called. She rushed into the alley with us and pulled me off James. "What did I tell you?"

"Melanie, please leave," I told her calmly, still holding James by the throat.

"No, we're both going." She pulled at my waist and arm and I let go, but not before slapping him and turning abruptly, not sparing the man a second glance as Melanie desperately pulled at me. "What the hell was that," she demanded,"I told you to let him be!" I didn't answer her as I let her lead me off back to her car.