Notes: For Paula. Happy Birthday, hope it's a great one!

Prompt from howeverlongs (Happy Birthday!): KC + "i'm on a date with this creepy dude and now i am trying to escape from him so could you please help me through this window" au. Title from a short story by Robert Hobkrik. Smut).

Just A Grumpy Optimist

In her twenty-five years on planet Earth Caroline Forbes had been on many dates. A couple of great ones, some that fell firmly into the 'eh' category. But this one? This one, if it could even be called a date, was easily the worst dating experience of her life. Including that time she'd been with a guy who had no idea how to change a tire, or seemed to understand that Caroline (and her tiny lady brain) could, and she'd been wearing white.

Everyone else at the party seemed to be having a good time so it wasn't like that was the problem. And Caroline looked hot, and was a delightful conversationalist, if she did say so herself, so neither was she. No, it was the fact that her date couldn't bother to feign even a fleeting interest in either Caroline's boobs or her brain that had made this night a miserable disaster.

She was going to strangle Elena Gilbert one of these days.

And the evening had started so promisingly. Caroline had been pleased to see that Stefan Salvatore was cute, if a little glum. Set up or not attractiveness was a bonus. But not a big enough one to make Caroline overlook the fact that he was ass backwards in love with one of her oldest friends. Who happened to be dating his brother.

Things had quickly gone downhill after she'd arrived.

Elena had asked Caroline to meet Stefan initially, had set those big brown doe eyes to pleading and Caroline hadn't been able to say no despite her distaste for blind dates. 'He's such a great guy, Care. I don't know why he's still single!' Elena had lamented. Caroline had tried to stay strong, but damn it if it wasn't still impossible to say no to Elena. She'd agreed to attend a party at Damon's place, had even worn what she knew was a traffic stopping dress. And super cute underwear because sue her, she was an optimist.

Half an hour after arriving it had been clear that her effort was pointless. And she'd totally solved the mystery of Stefan Salvatore's singlehood.

It had been cake, no Nancy Drew-ing required. Caroline had a lifetime of watching guys make heart eyes at Elena Gilbert while she was completely oblivious. Stefan was just the latest in a long line and Caroline was so over being surprised or disappointed by it. Stefan could pine all he wanted, she wasn't willing to bend over backwards to be a consolation prize. It wasn't a situation Caroline wanted any part in, even if teenage-her had kind of swooned over the idea of love triangles.

She'd cut her losses early, and was currently plotting her escape. She just needed to get out of the house, so she could call a cab, and go home.

A bottle of wine, bubble bath, and some trashy reality shows sounded like heaven.

But her exits are blocked. Elena and Damon were snuggled up in the living room, indulging in some pretty heavy (and gross) PDA so the front door was out. Elena would lay the guilt on thick if she caught wind of Caroline's plan, and that was so not a conversation she wanted to have. Stefan was in the kitchen, brooding into a glass of bourbon (Caroline had spent ten minutes getting monosyllabic answers to her questions before giving up – she thought she deserved serious points for effort) so slipping out the patio door, and cutting through the backyard, was out of the question.

Desperate times called for desperate measures. She'd noticed a window in the bathroom earlier. It was maybe a little small but Caroline was sure she could manage. It couldn't be any more difficult than the shimmying down the tree outside her bedroom window she'd occasionally done in high school.

She makes her way down the hallway telling herself it's stupid to feel guilty for ditching Stefan. She'd done more than her part to make this date work, and had gotten nada in return. She was well within her rights to leave and try to salvage her evening. Stefan probably wouldn't even notice that she was gone.

She's got one leg out the window when her plan hits a snag. There's a noise outside, and the door to the bathroom flies open and Caroline freezes hoping she doesn't look like a burglar. That would be awkward to explain to her mother.

But there's no alarmed yelling and she chances a look over. It's a guy, one she'd noticed (because he's hot and she's not blind) even if they hadn't been introduced. Shock flashes across his face, followed by amusement as his eyes lower. And Caroline's suddenly very aware of how much leg she's flashing in her current position. Pulling herself off the window ledge she tugs down her skirt, "Knock much? Geez. I could have been peeing."

He grins, and shuts the door, leaning back against it, "Going somewhere, sweetheart?"

"Pretty sure that's none of your business," Caroline snaps back, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes, refusing to admit that the accent had made her pulse flutter a little.

Her ire only seems to fan his interest, "Ah, but then I would have missed that delightful view."

Caroline scoffs, her ears burning, "Ew, perv."

He shrugs, reaching behind him to lock the door, "Perhaps. Why the great escape?"

"I repeat," Caroline deadpans, "pretty sure that's none of your business."

He slips passed her, leans out the window, "You know there's gravel out there, don't you? Not sure those heels are up to the jump. It'd be a shame if you broke that pretty leg of yours."

Glancing out Caroline realizes that he's right. Her eyes close for a moment in disappointment, but she's not really one to admit defeat. "Clearly I'm going to need to find another window," she grumbles. Eyeing him she takes a chance, "Any suggestions?" she asks sweetly.

He smirks, turns to face her, "More of a proposition, really."

"I'm listening," Caroline says slowly, just a little wary. He hasn't tried to touch her, or really invade her space, despite that first perusal which had made it clear he finds her attractive. She might have accused him of being a perv but he doesn't really set her finely honed creep sensors off.

Plus she never leaves home without her pepper spray.

He ducks down, pulls a towel out of the cabinet under the sink, throwing it over his shoulder. "I'll go out first. Lose your shoes and I'll help you down."

He climbs out the window leaving Caroline blinking in his wake. "Wait," she hisses. "You said proposition. What's in this for you?"

"It gets me out of the party, for one. And it gets me far more interesting company."

"Anyone ever tell you you're a little presumptuous?"

"Often," he replies, seemingly unbothered. "Are you coming or are you going to attempt to go back and waste your charms on Stefan once more?"

Caroline considers her options, decides that going out the window with the witty, accented stranger is still the best one. She reaches down to undo her shoes, thrusts them out the window at him. She pauses, just before she begins to climb out, "One thing. What's your name?"

He flashes her a smile, teeth bright in the fading evening light, like he's pleased that she'd asked, "Klaus. And am I right in assuming that yours is not Barbie?"

She files away the fact that he's asked after her, and isn't shy about admitting it, "It's Caroline. Damon's just a dick."

"A tragically uncreative one," her new partner in crime muses. "My sister, Rebekah, also blonde, was stuck with a similar moniker. I do believe she's plotted his slow, painful, death ever since."

Caroline finds herself smiling. Maybe her night won't be a total bust, because she kind of likes this guy. And if Elena ever wises up, and realizes that Damon's the worst, maybe she'll need a murder buddy.

"Okay, this is not my first sneaky climb out a window," she tells him. "So I know there's no way to do this gracefully. So if you could keep your eyes averted, and not take a peek up my skirt, it would be greatly appreciated."

And would significantly increase his chances of seeing what was underneath her dress later on. But if he needed that spelled out for him he wasn't very smart, was he?

"I'll be a perfect gentleman," he assures her, tone just a smidge too innocent to be believed.

"You better," Caroline warns him. "My mom's a cop, so I know how to hurt you."

"We should probably save the kinky stuff for our second date."

She bites her lip this time, to keep in the giggle that's getting harder to supress, distracts herself by throwing her leg over the edge of the window. She rests on it, ducks low to get her head under the frame. She grips the edges to pull the other leg out, doesn't protest his steadying hands on her hips, even when they linger once she's safely dropped to the ground. She feels the line of his chest press into her back, his lips brushing her hair when he murmurs, "Impressive."

She spins, feet protected by the towel he's thoughtfully dropped on the ground, smoothing her dress back into place. To his credit, his eyes stay on her face. "Why thank you. I work out."

"To great effect," he compliments, running a palm lightly down her arm. She shivers at the contact, tempted to sway closer, but he steps back, retrieving her shoes and handing them off. Offers her an arm for support, when she bends to fasten them.

Caroline knows she should probably pull out her phone, and complete her initial plan, call a cab and spend the rest of the night in her bathtub. But she lingers, and he doesn't disappoint her, "Can I buy you a drink, love? I'm parked down the street and there's a place I like not far from here."

"I think I'd like that," Caroline tells him, with a smile. "But first, I'm going to need to see your driver's license."

He raises an eyebrow, but his hand goes to his back pocket, "I'm flattered, but I can assure you I'm perfectly legal."

She rolls her eyes, and holds out her hand impatiently, flipping his wallet open once he's handed it over, "Oh, Niklaus, is it? Not sure how I feel about you lying about your name."

"It's not a lie," he protests. "Very few people actually call me that."

"Hmm, maybe I'll let it slide. Just this once. Because you're an organ donor." Caroline snaps a photo of the license and with a few taps she's texted it to Bonnie.

The reply comes quickly, 'He's cute! I'll call you in about an hour.'

She hands him back his wallet, reading the quizzical look on his face easily, "Just in case you're a serial killer. I'm leaving breadcrumbs. Standard operating procedure when going home with a stranger."

"Now who's being presumptuous?" he teases, letting his hand rest on her back. "Who says I'm the sort who puts out on the first date?"

She elbows him, but stays close, his warmth pleasant in the slight chill. "Call it a hunch."

She likes the place he'd taken her to, the low lights and the cozy booths. There'd been a momentary awkwardness as they were seated, the fact that they were strangers never more apparent. But he'd asked if she was hungry, and they'd squabbled about pizza (he was one of those weird pineapple people) before agreeing to split a couple of starters. The appetizers are excellent and the wine she's drinking one of her favorites. They'd lapsed into conversation, picking up their flirty banter like the short lull of uncertainty had never happened. They'd covered the basics: family, jobs, current relationship statuses. And Klaus is currently answering her rapid questions, an expression of amused indulgence curling his too tempting lips, "Favorite sport?" she fires.

"Football. Not the American nonsense."

"Do you like to travel?"

"Very much so."

"Favorite place?"

"Rome."

"Cats or dogs"

"I like most animals."

"Do you like tea?"

"Obviously."

Caroline thinks she's got him where she wants him, his answers are flying back just as quickly as she's tossing questions, automatic, unthinking and honest. "What color are my panties?"

"Purple."

"Ha!" Caroline crows, pointing at him gleefully. "Gentleman my ass."

He opens his mouth, a brief look of chagrin crossing his face, "Hardly my fault, love. I couldn't exactly ensure your safety if my eyes were averted, could I?"

"If that's your story," Caroline sniffs playfully, reaching out for the bottle of wine and topping up her glass.

He shakes his head, but he's smiling. Klaus sets his glass aside and slides over, so his thigh is pressing into hers under the table. He reaches out and threads a curl through his fingers, tugging gently, "How might I acquit myself?"

Caroline takes a sip, watches his eyes darken as she licks a stray drop from her lower lip. Feels an answering twinge, hot and low in her belly. "Well I suppose that depends on if you were bluffing earlier."

"About?" he asks, and she bites her lip to keep in the sigh of pleasure that wants to erupt when he touches her skin.

"About not putting out."

His eyes widen, and she feels him tense, where they're pressed together. When he speaks his voice has dropped, the tiniest bit of gravel thickening it tells Caroline that he wants her just as badly as she wants him, "I'll get the check."

They're stumbling through the door of his condo, exchanging frantic kisses, hands wandering, fighting to get closer. Her bag had been dropped, his shirt discarded as soon as the door had shut. Caroline's phone rings and she groans, tearing her lips from his when she recognizes the sound. "Ignore it," he rumbles, teeth scraping down her throat, hands pulling up her skirt, his body pressing hers to the door.

Caroline seriously considers it, because he feels so freaking good. "I can't," Caroline pants finally when the ringing continues. She pushes him away, turning to grab her phone. "It's Bon. She'll totally call the cops if I don't answer."

Klaus doesn't try to stop her, merely slips behind her and pushes her hair aside, applies his mouth to her neck in a way that's really distracting. His hands resume their task, dragging up her thighs and taking fabric with him until she's bare, save for a scrap of lace, from the waist down. Her breath catches as his fingers stroke over the front of her panties, and she leans forward to brace herself on the door, "H-hello?" she says, mentally crossing her fingers that Bonnie hadn't noticed the catch in her voice.

"Hey, Caroline! Just checking in. How's your night going?"

"Good!" she chirps, widening her thighs as Klaus' hand dips lower. He makes a noise, an appreciative murmur he muffles in her shoulder when he finds that she's soaked through the lace that covers her.

He might have detailed the things he was planning on doing to her on the car ride over, some of them filthy, all of them tempting, leaving her pressing her thighs together and cursing speed limits the whole ride over. Was it any wonder she was worked up and dying to be touched?

"Oh yeah?" Bonnie wonders knowingly, "Where are you?"

Klaus pushes her underwear aside and she leans more heavily against the door, resting a forearm against it, when he traces the seam of her, barely delving into her folds. She arches her back, grinds her ass into the bulge in his jeans, smiling triumphantly when he curses and presses back. He's quick to pay her back, slipping a finger inside of her. She squirms, presses her lips together to keep from making a needy sound.

It's a struggle to keep her voice steady when he adds another, palm pressing lightly into her clit, "Not at home," she tells Bonnie, reaching with her free hand to draw Klaus' to her breast. He tugs at her nipple thorough the layers of her dress and bra, heightening her need, until her hips are rocking against his hand, breaths shallow.

Bonnie laughs ruefully, "Yeah, so I hear. I won't keep you. Have fun, use protection. Call me before noon or else."

"Love you, bye!" Caroline gasps out, fumbling for the End Call button and dropping her phone to the floor. She reaches for the straps on her dress, shoving them down, not caring that a seam or two pops audibly. She needs more of his hands on her now.

She lets out a whine when he pulls away, trying to trap his hand between her thighs, but he's insistent, turning her to face him, a hand spearing into her hair and tugging her mouth to his. He sucks her lower lip into his mouth for a moment sending a pang of want through her. His hands strip her panties from her, shaking slightly against her skin, his still trapped cock pressing insistently into her stomach. Caroline kicks them away, helps him tug away the rest of her clothes. Arches back against the door with a moan when his head drops, mouth hot on her nipple.

She hitches a thigh over his hips, rubbing herself against him. She'd been halfway there with his fingers inside of her, and it's beginning to ache, the scrape of his jeans against where she's sensitive leaving her shuddering, "Klaus, please. I need…"

He releases her breast and straightens, his hand dropping back between her thighs. He eases two fingers back inside of her and she clamps down with a sigh of relief as his thumb traces tight circles around her clit. "I know, love," he mutters raggedly. "And I should probably take you to bed but I can't wait. I want to see your face when you come for me. At least the first time."

She moans at the implied promise, that there will be more of this, can't wait for him to keep it. "Faster," she begs, and he speeds up, the curl of his fingers against her walls sending sparks up her spine. It's building, her thighs just beginning to shake, mouth dropping open with the bliss, when he slants his lips over hers, swallowing her cry as she comes, eyes rolling back in her head. Klaus keeps kissing her as she trembles through it, her nails digging into his shoulders as she rides it out.

She tips her head back, gasping for breath, mind delightfully fuzzy. He drops a kiss on her forehead, pulling her close, running his palms down her spine.

When she can speak again Caroline clears her throat, letting a hand wander between them to palm his cock. He groans, hips jolting as she shapes him through his jeans, pressing her lips to his neck to taste his skin. "I believe you said something about a bed?"

He's pulling her away from the door, leading her down a hallway, as soon as the words are out. Klaus lowers her to his bed, standing back and watching her ravenously as she stretches out the kinks in her muscles, "I do hope you've nothing pressing to accomplish this weekend, sweetheart. Because I plan to convince you to stay right where you are all day tomorrow. And then I plan to take you to dinner and convince you to come back."

Caroline grins up at him, drawing her knees up and parting her thighs. Unashamed because the way he's looking at her, like he can hardly believe she's real, makes it impossible for her to feel anything but secure. His widen and heat when he sees how aroused she is, skin glistening with it. She lets her hands glide up her ribcage tauntingly and the harsh bobbing of his throat is gratifying as he watches her toy with her nipples, "I think I can be persuaded," she tells him huskily.

He fulfills one of the promises he'd made in the car (the first of many) when his mouth swoops down and tastes her until she's clawing at his sheets. She pulls him up before she can finish again. Her, "Inside me," spoken against his lips.

It's a long night, a longer day. They order in, never quite managing to get dressed until it's Sunday night and Caroline has to reluctantly leave, because she's a grown up with a job and bills to pay. They text often, sometimes sweet and funny, sometimes the kind of racy that leaves Caroline fanning herself and grinning. And then Klaus shows up to her office on Wednesday to take her to lunch.

She buys Elena flowers on Thursday. Because, inadvertent or not, she'd set Caroline up on the best blind date ever.