TW: mentions of suicide and drug addiction
It had been a long flight, only one hour but her racing thoughts made it feel longer. The day dad texted her, she called him. He sounded good. Last summer he had made it 2 months clean after his latest bender. She didn't have the courage to ask him over the phone if he was still clean, but he sounded like it. He had never asked her to come home to visit. Usually she returned when she knew he was spiraling or for certain occasions. Maybe she was being too hopeful, but Rey felt like he had changed. If he was clean, then this would be the longest he has been since she was a teenager.
When she got off her flight and realized her dad wasn't there, that should have been the first red flag. Rey ignored it because she was desperate for something to be good. After everything this past week, she just wanted a change of scenery but not the same one as her childhood. She coughed up the hundred for the long uber ride and when she got home another red flag. The lawn was overgrown, and her car was gone but her dads' truck was there. The worry was growing when she saw the mailbox was full.
"Dad?" Rey called out as she let herself in the crumbling worn down house. A strong contrast to the places she had been in the last month.
"Rey, baby!" her dad came out of the kitchen, eyes crinkled and arms wide, his voice all smiles.
Rey threw down the mail at his feet stopping him dead.
"You are using again, aren't you?" her voice was firm, but inside she was breaking.
He sighed and nudged the mail with his foot.
"Dad you did so good when I left for school! Just the other day you said you were doing okay!" she clutched her duffle bag strap as she stared him down.
"Rey I slipped up once since summer okay? it was the anniversary-"
"Don't you dare use her as an excuse!" she spat out not bothering to hide her frustration. She had been tangled in another one of his webs of lies. She always got so hopeful, dreaming that things would be different. and then he would destroy that hope. Rey wanted so badly to believe things would change, but deep down she knew they wouldn't.
"Where is my car, I want to see mom." Rey was really hoping his answer wouldn't be a letdown.
His face had lost its pleasantries and he crossed his arms. She watched the movement and noticed the faint track marks. He didn't slip up once, another one of his bullshit lies.
"Rey, I had to sell your car."
Her body went numb. "For drugs? Right?"
"Common, don't say it like that." He tried to reach for her but she took a step back.
"Why? It's the fucking truth after all. Everything you said to me was a lie."
"I really did want you to come home, I missed you."
Rey didn't believe it for a fucking second.
"That is absolute bullshit. You need money, don't you?"
When he didn't answer she knew she was right. She stared at the mail at her feet in silence, an anger she was too familiar with was consuming her. That's when one particular envelope caught her eye. It looked like a legal document, she quickly swopped down and grabbed it.
"Are you in trouble again too?!" tears started to sting her eyes as she started tearing it open.
"I don't know Rey I haven't checked the mail in weeks." Finally, a truth.
"I can't believe you I-" Suddenly the world stopped. Her hands started trembling as she looked over the document. It was dated a mere few days ago, from an attorney representing Kylo Ren. It was a cease and assist to not release her information or files would be charged. For him to have this means he did try and sell her out. Slowly she razed her gaze to his. "Did you contact the news and try to sell my name?" her voice was cracking.
"Rey, you were right, okay. I fucked up and I needed money-"
"And selling my car wasn't enough?! You were going to throw me under the bus too?!" Rey couldn't help herself as she walked up to him and slapped him. "Did it ever occur to you how much that would affect my life?!"
"Rey-"
"No! Don't you ever say my name again, don't contact me ever again."
"Rey I am your father!" he shouted as she was walking away from him ripping the front door open.
"You are nothing to me." She hissed at him and slammed the door walking away from the rundown house and ruined life. He didn't try and stop her or follow her. He was nothing to her because she was nothing to him. She walked along the dirt road headed to the one place she knew besides home. Out here there was no uber. With no car she didn't know what to do. Rey knew there was one person she could call who would make all her problems go away.
Don't be afraid to ask me for help.
His voice drifted through her. She really had no other option, so she called him.
Hey darling, how's it going? He sounded so happy, Rey desperately wanted to be happy too.
Can… Can you come get me? She didn't want to explain everything to him. She knew she wouldn't have to explain anything because he would do anything for her no matter what.
There was a shuffling and muffled voices before he spoke again.
Where are you? Are you okay? his voice had changed to one of such concern. But by asking that simple question, are you okay, Rey finally burst into tears.
No, no Kylo I'm not okay. She was full on sobbing now into the phone
Oh Rey shh, it'll be okay, I'm coming to get you where are you?
Through her sobs she told him the address to come get her, she wasn't even sure if he could make out what she was saying
Okay, ill be there in 2 hours, will you be okay till then are you safe? His voice was warming her, all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and listen to him talk.
Yes, I'm safe. Kylo please, are you really coming?
Rey I am coming, I promise. He was trying his best to calm her with his voice. Even if you were thousands of miles away I would always come get you.
Thank you… by now her sobs had shrunk into sniffles.
Rey, I have to get on the plane now, I will see you very soon, okay love? He was really pushing the pet names. Rey couldn't help but smile to herself, he really cared without even knowing the situation.
See you soon, Kylo Ren
Xxx
Kylo was so pleased when she had called him. He took it as a good sign that they were smooth sailing. That is until her request came through on shaky breaths. Instantly he knew something must be seriously wrong for her to ask him to come get him. He was glad she was asking for help, it was unhealthy to think you can go your whole life without asking for it. without second guessing he took off to the private strip where he had a jet. The whole ride his leg was jumping. The address she had given him was for a church, a string of possibilities crossed his mind. As long as she was safe. When the plane landed the rental was sitting on the tarmac. He physically ran to the car and took off heading to her.
Upon pulling up he saw there were no other cars and the church looked abandoned. He got out and was reaching for his phone to call her when he saw her. She was leaning against a headstone, her face buried in her hands.
"Rey!" he called out to her.
She lifted her head, "Kylo?"
He ran over and dropped to his knees panting slightly as he took her face in his hands. "Rey, I'm here now."
She placed her hands over his, tears falling again, "You came."
He tried to frantically wipe her tears away, his chest tightening. "Yes, I told you I would" he kissed her forehead gently and pulled her to him. Kylo looked at the headstone and noticed it was a woman's name with the same last name as Rey, the death was not recent
"Its my mother." She spoke up as if sensing his gaze.
"I'm sorry." He rubbed her back as her crying dwindled down.
"She died when I was a toddler, killed herself."
"Rey you don't have to tell me anything…"
She cut him off, "You'll learn about it one way or another." Rey pulled away and went back to leaning against the head stone. She patted the grass next to her and Kylo sat beside her leaning against it too. She reached for his hand and their fingers intertwined as she leaned her head on his shoulder.
"My mom was an addict. She got clean when she found out she was pregnant and never did drugs again." She sucked in a sharp breath and Kylo squeezed her hand to let her know it was okay. "My father on the other hand never stopped. I think the longest he has been clean in the last 26 years of my life was 8 months." the way she said father was a dead giveaway to were this was going. "He couldn't give it up for me, for my mother. And she worked so hard trying to get him clean and take care of me while working and going to school. She couldn't take it anymore…"
"Rey, I'm so sor-"
"Please, shut the fuck up and just listen to me, I really need to get it out. Don't say sorry, just listen." She wasn't saying it to be mean she was just saying what she wanted, and he understood. So, he did as asked and shut up.
"She killed herself and I can't even remember what she looked like or how her voice sounded. All I know is my father and his addiction. He stole those memories from me. I tried to hard to hard to help him and to save myself from becoming him. That's why I fight so hard to be independent. Its what my mother did. I have to survive for her."
The realization of her words took him over like a wave. She was fighting for a future unlike her past. She didn't want to be like her father but like her mother. Rey was fighting so hard and she didn't want to except handouts because that's not what her mother got. But just because she struggled doesn't mean Rey has to struggle too. She didn't want to live a better life, she would feel guilty. She secretly blamed herself for her mothers death.
The sound of paper crinkling brought him back to reality. He looked down and saw Rey had sat a paper in his lap. He immediately recognized it. it was a legal document for privacy protection. Carefully he picked it up and inspected it, he was confused how she got this or why she was handing it to him.
"I came out here because I thought he was doing better. Turns out he just wanted money. He tried to sell me out."
"Rey, I had no idea, my lawyer would have contacted me if he had the same last name as you, I don't get a full list of all the people we sent these out to. I'm-" He stopped himself from saying sorry again. "What can I do?"
She looked up at him. "Just hold me for a little while."
Instantly he pulled her into his lap and leaned her on his chest. "As long as you like." He stroked her back and placed kisses on top of her head every few moments. They stayed like that till it started getting dark. He offered to get a hotel room so she could stay another day to visit her mother's grave if she wanted. Rey just wanted to go back to New York and for that he was thankful. He wanted to take her away from all this. If there was a magic wand that could erase the past, he would use it for her. The car ride back to the airport she had fallen asleep. When he woke her up, she immediately rolled her eyes seeing the private jet. Good, she was beginning to be her normal self again. The flight back was silent as she rested in his arms. He didn't want to press her for information, but he wanted to help her the best way he could. He would move the sun and the stars for happiness. This thought scared Kylo. Because he had only known her for about a month, he had never felt this way with anyone before. But Rey was different.