"I wish I didn't love you !"
During the whole drive back into town her words were playing as an endless loop in his mind, in that heartbreaking hopeless voice of hers. Was he too stubborn ? Was it wrong to insist on his priorities ? When he thought back to the marriage with his first wife or more correct soon to be ex-wife she said the same. It all revolves around him and his partner stayed always on the sidelines. He thought he broked that devils circle but apparently he hadn't. Did he really had her whole heart and he just not realized it ? But what about all the times she went off with her younger ex, how he could compete with what that guy had giving her ? In all honesty he could not. He had to find his own way with her and even her best friend told him, he had her heart completely. All the times she was there for him when he needed someone to talk to, someone he could share his fears with. She was always there for him, for better or for worse. Maybe that was the worse times and they really don't need that particular piece of paper. But also maybe he was just an stubborn old bastard who wants to declare his love with a ring in front of all his friends. His proposal wasn't very elegant, he had to admit that especially as it was at someone elses wedding, but he loved her and in that moment he thought that would be the next natural step in their relationship. But maybe he should've thought about doing it in a more private, more romantic surrounding. He stopped in front of his brownstone and mentally wasn't one step forward wondering what the hell went so completely wrong between them that led to this point in their lifes.